


A Fling Before the Ring?

by elle_delajoie



Category: Glee
Genre: Canonical Character Death - Finn Hudson, F/F, M/M, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, s5 fix-it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 52
Words: 215,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26162755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elle_delajoie/pseuds/elle_delajoie
Summary: Kurt was standing at the bottom of the staircase in the Dalton rotunda. "Um, I think you gave this to the wrong guy." Kurt said, as he stared down at the piece of paper Sebastian had handed him. It was surprisingly elegant considering what said card was suggesting."Last fling before the ring?"written in neat, golden letters was staring at him. It looked more like a wedding invitation than anything else. Kurt was pretty sure that Sebastian hadn't made the card himself. He had a hard time believing that Sebastian Smythe was capable of creating something this beautiful."No, I didn't."Kurt scrunched up his nose. "Why would you even-" he started.Sebastian shrugged. "New York looks good on you.""Um. Thanks?""I'd look even better on you." He trapped his lip between his bottom teeth and gave Kurt an expectant look.Updates Mondays & Fridays.
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 863
Kudos: 612





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a fun round robin story on Tumblr. JWMelmoth and Daftydraw added parts along with elle_delajoie (elledelajoie) and Nadia (Ancynamonek), who decided to continue on with it and turn it into a chaptered story.

"Um, I think you gave this to the wrong guy." Kurt said, as he stared down at the piece of paper Sebastian had handed him. It was surprisingly elegant considering what said card was suggesting. “ _Last fling before the ring?”_ written in neat, golden letters was staring at him. It looked more like a wedding invitation than anything else. Kurt was pretty sure that Sebastian hadn't made the card himself. He had a hard time believing that Sebastian Smythe was capable of creating something this beautiful.

"No, I didn't."

Kurt scrunched up his nose. "Why would you even-" he started.

Sebastian shrugged. "New York looks good on you."

"Um. Thanks?"

"I'd look even better on you." He trapped his lip between his bottom teeth and gave Kurt an expectant look.

Kurt sighed deeply. For a moment, he had thought Sebastian had changed. "I'm not in the mood for your innuendo, Smythe," he said, holding out the card.

"I'd say 'suit yourself' but it looks like you already did." He snorted. "Blaine should have asked for pointers. Ocre is not his color."

Kurt smirked. "If I told him that I've told him a thousand times." He looked towards Blaine, who was being congratulated from all sides. A sigh escaped his lips. "Just like I told him how I hate public proposals, and that we are not a couple..."

"Wait, what?"

Kurt looked up at Sebastian with an exasperated sigh. "Blaine and I aren't together. We haven't been together for _months_...not since he cheated on me two weeks after I moved to New York."

Sebastian’s eyes widened the longer Kurt spoke, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Why the fuck did you just accept his proposal then?"

Kurt waved his hand around at the group of people still hanging around the rotunda.. "Like I could say no in front of this lot. I'm pretty sure that was his plan all along. It wouldn't be the first time he's done something like this."

Sebastian let out a puff of air and shook his head. "Okay, now you have to tell me."

Kurt quickly explained The Gap Incident.

"Holy shit...so what are you gonna do?"

"I have no idea," Kurt sighed.

"What do you need?"

"A passport?"

Sebastian smiled a little. "I don't think that escaping the country is the solution here, Babe." he didn't know where the endearment came from, but Kurt didn't seem to mind.

"So what do you propose I do?"

"You go over there and you tell the little fucker that you're dumping his sorry ass."

Kurt stared at Sebastian as he considered his words. It definitely seemed like the easiest option. Why wasn't he taking the way out? Right, stupid empathy. "I can't," Kurt said. "It would break his heart."

Sebastian snorted."You mean the way he broke your heart when he fucked someone else?"

"He apologized." Kurt said defensively, more out of habit than anything else. He crossed his arms and prepared himself for Sebastian's hit because he knew that his argument wasn't nearly strong enough to do shit.

"Oh. _He apologized_." Sebastian said sarcastically and put a hand over his heart. "You see, I didn't know that. _That_ just changes _everything_!"

Kurt glared. "He made a stupid mistake," he said angrily. "People do that sometimes, you know?"

"Believe me," Sebastian cut him off. "I know better than anyone else. But I'm suffering the consequences. So should he."

"Please enlighten me about what those consequences might be because I can't think of one," Kurt challenged.

"You hate me, for one."

Kurt snorted. "Like you care."

"I do care." Sebastian said. “No one who cheats is making a mistake. They’re making a choice. He chose to fuck around on you. If you forgive him, what keeps him from taking that as a _carte blanche_ and making the same ‘mistake’ repeatedly and frequently? And how about I prove that I care by getting you out of here and taking you someplace where you can think clearly?”

Kurt tightened his jaw. "Let me guess, your bedroom?"

"For fuck’s sake, Kurt!" Sebastian nearly yelled in frustration. "I'm trying to help you. Stop being such a bitch."

"Well, I'm sorry, but you can't really blame me. Can you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I don't know. Maybe I'm referring to you bragging about your sex life at any given moment," he deadpanned. "Or maybe I'm talking about the card you just propositioned me with. What the hell was that about, by the way? We're not in high school."

Sebastian smirked. "Technically, I am still in high school. And we are standing inside one."

"You're exhausting, you know."

Sebastian's smirk grew wider. "I'd say so too. And I can even prove it." 

Kurt looked unamused.

Sebastian sighed. "Right. No more dirty jokes." He rolled his eyes.

Kurt shot a look at Blaine, who wasn't paying him any attention, and then back at Sebastian, who, in Kurt's opinion, was paying him too much attention. He didn't quite know how he felt about that yet. "Well, where do you want to go?"

Sebastian rewarded him with a smile. "Where it all began." He started walking away, towards the entrance.

Kurt followed close behind. He understood what place Sebastian had in mind straight away. They were going to get some coffee.

On the way to Sebastian’s car, Kurt stopped by his dad’s SUV and pulled his luggage out.

“We’ll have to choose another coffee shop besides the Lima Bean in Lima because I have to be at the airport in two hours.”

“That’s fine. I know a good place on the north side of Columbus. I stop there on the way home sometimes.”

As Kurt put his luggage in Sebastian’s trunk, he wondered how long it would take before anyone noticed that he wasn’t at Dalton anymore.

“Did I hear you right earlier when you said you’d been gone two weeks?” Sebastian pulled out of the Dalton lot and headed towards Columbus.

“Yeah. Two weeks. He blamed me for it. He said he needed me and I wasn’t there.”

“Yeah, that’s generally how it works when your boyfriend moves out of state.”

“So, explain that note you handed me.” Kurt said, trying to change the subject.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows. “You’re really just going to take him back after that?”

Kurt didn’t answer his question. “The note?” He pressed Sebastian to explain it. “I'm just trying to understand," he said, looking ahead and not at Sebastian. "You spent the entire last year repeatedly telling me how unappealing you found me. So the only explanation is you either went mental or have a good twin, who also happens to be named Sebastian. Because you're clearly the evil one."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Or I just did some growing up."

"And what? You _grew_ sexual attraction?"

" _No_.” Sebastian tapped the steering wheel nervously. “I grew enough balls to finally admit that I've always found you attractive." He flipped the turn signal and changed lanes.

Kurt snorted. “There is no way that’s true. Try again.”

Sebastian blushed. “I don’t know what you want from me, Kurt. I told you the truth.”

Kurt turned to look at him properly. Sebastian wasn’t looking at him, focusing on the road instead. Kurt noticed his flushed cheeks and how uncomfortable he seemed. He was tapping his thumb on the center of the steering wheel nervously, and pursing his lips anxiously waiting to hear what Kurt would say.

Kurt swallowed. Sebastian was telling the truth. “And you waited to tell me this until after I had been proposed to?”

Sebastian sighed in relief. He expected a more agitated response. “Well, honestly, I thought I had a little more time to work out how to tell you, but Blaine showed up with two other choirs in tow yesterday evening asking for the Warblers to help and play host to his extravaganza. We had to rehearse the song last night and practice the staging this morning. You obviously have a new cell number because I tried to call and warn you, but no such luck. So, it was afterwards or not at all.” He flipped the turn signal again and turned off the road they had been on and started driving through a commercial area. “It’s not like I’ve been meticulously planning how to tell you for months or something. I just wanted you to know that he’s not your only option, I guess.”

“Alright. I’ll just let that drop for now. How can I possibly get out of this when, as you saw, everyone I know, my friends, and obviously my dad, are all thrilled about my answer?”

“Well, first off, you’ll be the one having sex with Blaine and making sure that he gets all of your attention while he runs around on you for the rest of your life, not any of them, so their opinions don’t count for much.”

“You really think he’ll cheat again.”

“Absolutely.”

Sebastian pulled into a parking spot and got out. Kurt followed him. They went inside the coffee shop and got in line. Sebastian paid for Kurt’s drink and waited while Kurt went to find them a table. After the barista handed him both of their drinks, Sebastian made his way to the table and handed Kurt his drink. Kurt took it without looking and almost spilled the contents.

As soon as Sebastian sat down, Kurt blurted the question that had been nagging him. "What did I do wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean with Blaine. What did I do that'd make him want to cheat on me?"

Sebastian shrugged. "I obviously don't know the whole story. I didn't even know you were broken up." He leaned forward in his seat. "But my guess is that Blaine is just a huge dick who likes to wet his own, not so huge one."

Kurt scrunched his nose in disgust. He picked up several packets of sugar and started to stack and restack them.

Sebastian continued. "And since you were no longer there to wet it, he found someone else."

"I just-" Kurt couldn't find the words to best express what he was feeling. "Why didn't he tell me he was unhappy? He didn't have to go all horizontal with a lighthouse." He saw Sebastian's confused look. "Not now."

Sebastian didn’t say anything for a few minutes. He broke off a piece of the snickerdoodle cookie he’d bought and slid the plate towards Kurt, who broke off a piece and ate it.

“Two weeks you said. I’ve changed my hypothesis.” He took another sip, stalling a bit. “He’s an attention hog of the highest order. Hunter tried to get him back last fall, just like I had the fall before, but this time he didn’t have you as an excuse. But he met Hunter. I think he realized that he’d be violin #3 if he came back. He didn’t like that idea. He stayed at McKinley as the New Directions’ top dog.”

“Sounds right. He sent me off saying that I belonged in New York. He was supposed to come two weeks later than he did. He showed up the first weekend in October.”

“Didn’t you miss the first few weeks of class if you’d only been there two weeks?”

Kurt stared at him for a second. He was sure that everyone, especially Sebastian, knew about his failure. “Wow, you really are out of the loop.” he muttered, more to himself than Sebastian. “I didn’t get in for the fall. I re-auditioned and started in January.”

“Oh.” He sat quietly for a few minutes. He broke off another piece of the cookie and ate it.

“I got a job at Vogue dot com and furnished the loft Rachel and I found. I called, texted, and Skyped with him everyday.”

“Vogue - that’s impressive. Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” he said, with one eyebrow raised.

“How did you have the money to do that? No offense.”

“I sold my Navigator.” He added a few packets of Splenda and began making his stack striped.

“Wow, that takes guts. So, you headed to the Big Apple with nothing but your dreams.” He took another sip of his coffee. “You won’t like this.”

“What’s one more thing I won’t like today? Just say it.”

“Revenge cheating. You were succeeding without him. He’s always pushed you out of the spotlight. I think he thought you’d fail and come home with your tail between your legs, ready to resume your proper spot in his shadow.”

“You can’t be serious.

“Manipulation. He could blame you and get you to come back to Lima with him so that he wouldn’t be alone and tempted to stray again.”

“You had it backwards about who wet what, by the way.”

“Oh, my God.” Sebastian started cackling. “I bet the guy he cheated with didn’t worship him in bed like you did. He thought he could get what he got from you from just any old hookup.”

Kurt turned red. “Shh!”

“He’s a manipulative attention hog. And you’re engaged to him now.”

“Fuck my life. What am I going to do?” Kurt knocked his stack over when he crossed his arms on the table and put his head down, banging his forehead against his forearm.

"Why don't we make him taste his own medicine?" Sebastian asked with a smirk.

Kurt looked up and frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Sebastian gestured his hand towards Kurt's pocket, where he had earlier slipped the piece of paper that started it all. Kurt caught on and gasped.

"Absolutely not! I'm not sleeping with you just to spite Blaine!"

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "You're no fun."

"Excuse me. I’m great fun. I just don't think _cheating_ is fun."

"It is if done properly." He winked at Kurt.

Kurt huffed. "You're so full of shit."

Sebastian shrugged. "Why won't you do it, Kurt? He deserves it."

Kurt looked down at his hands. "Nobody deserves it." 

“Fine. You’re right. No one does. Just break it off first, and then there will be no cheating involved.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Don’t you ever think about anything else?”

“Of course I do. I’m graduating at the top of my class. I’m the lacrosse captain for the second year. I’m on the debate team. I participated in Model United Nations. I’m in the National Honor Society. I got early admission to Columbia, which is where my dad wants me to go. But I also got offered early admission to NYU, my mom’s alma mater. I’m not a slacker. And I don’t knowingly sleep with cheaters.”

Kurt pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow, “Right. This card you gave me says otherwise.”

“That card got you to talk to me, which was its purpose.”

“Well, you still haven’t offered me a viable option to ending my engagement. Did he set up a reception or something?”

“In the Warblers practice room. Baby cupcakes, mini cheesecakes, bite-sized brownies, and probably other things I didn’t see.”

“We’ve been gone for at least 45 minutes. No one’s called. That should give you some idea how much I matter. I’m one-sixth of Klaine.” He slapped his hand on the table. “Real ideas. No innuendo. You just pointed out how smart you are. You’re the one pursuing me for reasons I have yet to understand, so help me out.”

“Does your dad know he cheated on you?”

“No.” Kurt resumed stacking the packets.

“Call your dad. Have him bring Blaine here. I’ll sit with you as moral support while you tell your dad that Blaine cheated on you two weeks after you left. Problem solved.”

“My Dad just recovered from cancer.” Kurt pointed out.

“Fuck. Well, the stress of seeing you unhappy will be worse long term than you just breaking it off now because then he’ll see you being happy.”

“I haven’t been happy in a long time.” Kurt unlocked his phone to check his call log and messages. He found nothing.

Sebastian snatched his phone and sent Burt a message asking him to bring Blaine to the coffee shop right away. He handed the phone back to Kurt. “Before you get really angry with me, where were his parents and your stepmom and Finn? Shouldn’t they have been invited to the gala?”

Kurt shrugged.

“He didn’t invite anyone who would potentially oppose the proposal. That means something and you know it.”

“What am I supposed to tell my dad when he gets here? I would have taken Blaine’s cheating to my grave and never told my dad. Now, he’ll be here in ten minutes.”

“Make a list of the important details on your phone. The issue of why Blaine didn’t invite anyone who might be opposed is a good one to ask about.” Sebastian suggested. He took the last sip of his coffee.

Kurt sighed. He pulled out his phone, opened his notes app and started a list. Sebastian got up, grabbed Kurt’s empty cup and the plate and took them to the dish bin. When he came back, he made Kurt scoot in.

Kurt looked over at him. “Why’d you move?”

“To keep Blaine from sitting next to you and looking over at your phone. Plus, I’m hoping that Burt will wait for Blaine to slide in, essentially pinning him in place so he can’t just leave.”

Kurt worked on his list until he saw the two of them come in. They by-passed the counter and headed straight to the table. Blaine slid in. Burt sat next to him.

“Why are we meeting here? And why is Sebastian here?”

“I drove him here.”

Blaine didn’t look at him, but kept his focus on Kurt.

“Why didn’t you invite your parents or Carole and Finn?”

“My parents are out of town.”

“Finn and Carole aren’t.”

“Finn’s busy with college.”

“You called Santana and Rachel to come from New York. Your reasoning is illogical.”

“Why didn't you invite Carole, Dad?” Kurt turned his attention to his father.

“I figured that she and Finn were coming together.”

“Blaine, what gave you the idea that I would want to get engaged when we’re not even dating exclusively?”

“We got back together Thursday at the picnic.” Blaine reminded him.

“I clearly said that I was considering your request to return to dating you exclusively, but you’ve yet to give me a signed copy of a certain document I asked for, so nothing was settled.”

“You were serious about that?”

“Deadly. Anyway, why would you think that two of us getting engaged while you’re in high school would be more acceptable to me than Finn and Rachel getting engaged last year?”

“We’re soulmates.” Blaine said, looking intensely into Kurt’s eyes.

Kurt thought about how not even a year ago, that look could make him melt.

Sebastian snorted.

Burt looked at him.

Sebastian extended his hand. “Sebastian Smythe, sir. I know you know my dad, Arthur.”

Burt shook his hand and nodded. “I do.”

Kurt took a deep breath. “Neither of you even noticed that I left the school about five minutes after I said ‘yes’.” He turned his focus on Blaine. “You were so busy being congratulated that you didn’t even notice I was gone.”

“I figured you were somewhere being congratulated by other people.”

Kurt slipped the ring off of his finger and placed it on the table in front of Blaine. “I don’t want to be engaged.”

“But Kurt, you already said ‘yes’.” Blaine’s voice was calm, like he wasn’t at all bothered about the turn of events. 

Then Kurt understood. Blaine didn’t believe that he might actually do it. Like the idea of Kurt leaving him was so ridiculous. Kurt hated it. He hated how people assumed they knew what was best for him, how they all assumed that Kurt was the lucky one in their relationship, and how Blaine was doing him a _favor_ for choosing him. If he had learned nothing else from Adam and the Apples, it had been that he was worthy. He didn’t have to accept scraps. People could like him for who he was. He snapped out of his self-reflection. “You proposed in a situation where I had no other option other than to say ‘yes’ or to humiliate you in front of over 60 people.”

“Kurt, I love you.”

Kurt remembered the first time Blaine has ever said that to him. They were in a similar situation actually. In a coffee shop, sitting opposite each other, with the sweet scent of coffee and pastries. Except this time, Kurt didn’t feel any butterflies, and his heart didn’t do the little skip it used to when Blaine said those three words to him. “I know that you think you do. I was willing to give you another chance. I gave you an inch and you pushed for a mile. I don’t know what you think putting a ring on me will change. You can’t even keep your story straight about why you did what you did. I wasn’t the one that was unfaithful after being apart for two weeks.” In his anger, Kurt accidentally tore open the sugar packet he was holding, spilling its contents all over the table. 

Burt turned to look at Blaine fast enough to nearly give him whiplash. “What?”


	2. Chapter 2

The last bits of Blaine's calm disappeared as soon as Burt had turned his attention to him. His eyes became anxious and he swallowed loudly.

Kurt smirked. He loved how intimidating his father could be. Thankfully, Kurt possessed the same ability.

“What did you just say?” Burt asked, referring to Kurt’s words, but focusing his attention on Blaine, who was looking down at the table.

“You see, Mr Hummel,” Sebastian interjected with a wicked grin on his face. “Blaine, here, slept with someone else two weeks after your son left for New York.”

Kurt thanked the God he didn’t believe in that Sebastian didn’t opt to use the word _fucked_ or _did_ in front of his father.

Burt was looking at Blaine as if he wanted to murder him right there, right then. Kurt kind of hoped he would, but he also kind of hoped they wouldn’t make a scene. To his surprise, the next words his father spoke were directed at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Burt’s voice was sharp, but his eyes lacked the fire they had when he was looking at Blaine.

Kurt had no idea how this was turning against him. He pretended he didn’t hear his father and started counting the sugar crystals that had spilled on the table. He made it to seven before Burt spoke to him again.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Kurt?” His voice was softer and more sympathetic now.

 _Fucking great._ The last thing Kurt wanted was his father’s pity. “I didn’t want you to be worried.”

“The same way you didn’t want to worry me when you were having a hard time in school your junior year and, as it turned out, another kid was threatening to _kill_ you?”

“ _What?!_ ” Sebastian’s voice was loud enough to attract the attention of a couple customers, who glared at him, not very happy that he was disturbing their peaceful coffee time.

Kurt ignored him. It was not the time nor the place to have this conversation. “It’s different.”

“Is it? ‘Cause the way I see it you were having problems and you decided to deal with them on your own, instead of asking for help. Like you always do.”

“Oh, and what would you have done, Dad?” Kurt snapped. He hated that his father was right. “I don’t think transferring to a different school would have helped this time.”

“Obviously not.” Burt turned back to Blaine. “When I’m finished speaking, you will get up and leave. You will not contact Kurt directly or indirectly. Do you understand?”

Blaine didn’t respond right away, but eventually nodded.

“You will repay me for the plane ticket to New York that you procured under false pretenses. You can drop a bank check made out to me off at the shop.”

Blaine began to protest.

“I don’t want to hear a word. You spent at least twice the cost of a plane ticket on the desserts you had served at the little party you had set up in there. You can cover the cost of the plane ticket. If you make contact with Kurt in any way, I will be sure that your parents get a copy of the video of today’s event. Whether they were out of town or not, I get the impression that you didn’t want them to be there. I’ll make sure they know about it.”

Blaine turned red.

“That’s what I thought,” Burt said. “Secondly, you are not welcome in my home anymore. I can’t and won’t attempt to control Sam by telling him who he can be friends with, but you will no longer spend time with him in my home.”

Blaine nodded.

“I’m going to get up now and you’re going to leave.” Burt stood and let Blaine out of the booth. He put his hand on Blaine’s shoulder. “This is over. Heed my warning. Stay away from Kurt.”

As soon as Burt removed his hand from Blaine’s shoulder, he hurriedly walked out of the coffee shop.

Burt sat back down. “Now, back to you, Kurt. I need you to stop trying to protect me. It breaks my heart to know that you went through that alone. Where was Rachel? Why was she at Dalton looking like you had won the lottery?”

“Rachel’s always been on Blaine’s side. She was thrilled that he got Tony. She sees him as the most amazing boyfriend ever. They’re so much alike. For about a week, she was supportive of me seeing someone new."

“Is Sebastian the someone new?”

Sebastian about choked. “Definitely not. I still attend Dalton and Rachel hates me. Never in a million years would she support Kurt dating me.”

Kurt teased Sebastian, “He _wishes_ he had been the someone new.”

“Why does Rachel hate you? Not that I’m taking much stock in who she does and doesn’t like right now, but I am curious."

Kurt intervened. “Sebastian was involved in some show choir rivalry and some of it got out of hand, but he learned his lesson.”

Burt nodded. “I spent some time learning lessons the hard way when I was your age.”

Kurt added. “Finn, Puck, and David learned from their mistakes.”

Burt nodded. “Back to Rachel. I thought she was your best friend. I’m assuming she knew about him cheating on you.”

“She knew. Santana knows. Mercedes knows. Sam knows. Tina knows. I’m not sure who else.”

“I didn’t,” Sebastian said. “If I had known, I would have rejected his request to hold the proposal at Dalton when he came and asked yesterday.”

“Finally someone with some sense in their head. The same can’t be said about my son.”

Kurt stared at the mess on the table again, trying to regain his composure. He sat up straight and steeled himself. He spoke forcefully, yet kept his voice low. “You told me that I looked like I was going to my execution and you kept driving. You told me about how you wished you could have even ten more minutes with Mom. I asked you for another option besides yes, no, or maybe and you told me to go in and listen to what he said. How was I supposed to interpret all of that other than assuming that you wanted me to go in and get engaged to a high school student? Dad, I hate to say this, but you’ve been treating Blaine like he’s your son instead of me.”

That statement made Burt stop and consider Kurt’s accusation.

Kurt went on. “You brought him to New York for Christmas. You believed whatever nonsense he told you and didn’t even bother to ask me whether I would feel comfortable spending the holiday with my _ex_ -boyfriend that I had been broken up with for nearly three months. Who takes their son's ex-boyfriend to their son's home and presents him as a Christmas gift?”

“I wasn’t operating with full disclosure.”

“Yeah, you were listening to whatever Blaine said, which just supports my statement of you acting like he’s your son instead of me, just like you believed whatever lies Finn told Carole about how I had behaved towards him. You never did even tell me what she told you, but you believed what Finn told her and made assumptions. That hurt. This hurts.”

“Kurt, I’m sorry.”

“I know. I know you are, but that doesn’t make me hurt any less. You told me to remember that I matter, but that hasn’t been true in quite a while. Do you have any idea what it feels like to always be the second choice? Or the third? That’s what I was to Blaine. He chased after an older teen and then dated Rachel before being willing to date me. And that was only after I had started to pull away. He and Rachel need me. Neither of them love me, not really. But when I’m overlooked repeatedly, being needed is better than not being needed. Walking away from him today will cost me everything. You were caught up in socializing. No one came to congratulate me. Everyone congratulated him on getting what _he_ wanted. When I go back to the loft in Bushwick, I will get the coldest version of the cold shoulder to ever have existed. I will become a non-entity. Rachel and Santana will shun me. I was ungrateful for what I was offered. Rachel was already planning for him to move in the week after graduation. Who do you think they will choose? Me or him? Sure my name is on the lease, but they can make my life so miserable that I'll move out and still be willing to pay my share, even if I’m not living there, just to get away from them. You have NO idea how awful Santana can be.”

“You could move into one of my family’s properties.” Sebastian offered.

Kurt stared at him. “Properties?”

“My dad’s family owns several places. A couple of them are airbnbs or short-term rentals. I’m sure there has to be a way to make it work.”

“I’m not a charity case, Sebastian.”

“I didn’t mean to imply that you were. I was just suggesting that I could check and see if any of them are available for rent for the next two months. That would give you time to find another place of your own without so much stress that you do badly in school.”

“I could never afford to live in New York on my own.”

“A few of them aren’t really apartments. They’re basically just a hotel room, but at better rates for staying in a hotel for a month. I’m not sure how much they go for, to be honest, but I’m willing to look into it to help out.”

Burt, who had been listening to the exchange quietly, finally spoke. “You should take it, Kurt. We can help you out for a couple of months if you can’t get out of the lease somehow. Or at least until Blaine moves in. He can take over your share.”

“I’ve been paying my own way. I don’t need you to treat me like a charity case either, Dad.”

“Kurt, don’t be so stubborn,” Sebastian said. “Two months of help from me or your dad versus two months of living with Rachel and Santana.”

Kurt rolled his eyes and sighed.

“There’s another option, which you’ll probably like even less,” Sebastian said hesitantly. He paused before he continued. “I was given one of the properties for my birthday. I own it. No one is living in it now. It wouldn’t be charity because I’m not making any money off of it now, so I won’t be losing money by you living there.”

“And what about after graduation?”

“Spring term ends earlier for colleges than high schools. You’d still have time to find your own place or find people you actually want to live with and get a place with them. I can’t possibly move in before the second weekend in June because we’re going on vacation the first week of June.”

Kurt stared at Sebastian as he considered his offer. He didn’t want to be indebted to Sebastian, not even when it wasn’t monetary indebtedness. But he also did not want to face living with Rachel and Santana anymore. “What do you want in return?”

Sebastian shrugged. “Consider it repayment for the kindness you showed me last spring.”

Burt’s eyes looked from Kurt to Sebastian and back to Kurt.

“Don’t worry about it, Dad. It’s one of those things he learned a lesson from.”

Burt didn’t look convinced, but let it drop.

"What time is it?" Kurt asked.

Burt looked at his watch and answered him.

“Oh, I have to go. I need to get to the airport.”

“I can take you,” Sebastian offered.

“I had planned to take him,” Burt insisted.

“No, Dad. I need to work out some of the details with Sebastian about the apartment offer so I can make a decision today. The girls will fly back tomorrow and I need to know what I’m doing by then. You can head back to Lima and explain all of this to Carole.”

Burt looked like he wished he didn’t have to, but he stood up. “Call me when you get to the loft. I want to know that you got there safely.”

“Sure, Dad.” Kurt just wanted to get going. He slid over and bumped into Sebastian. “You have to actually get up if you’re going to drive me there.”

Sebastian got up.”Right.”

Kurt hugged Burt quickly. “I’ll call you.” He headed towards the door.

Sebastian followed along behind and hit the unlock on his car remote so Kurt could get in. “How soon do you actually have to be at the airport?”

“I have about 15 extra minutes because we already drove 15 minutes towards the airport from Dalton.”

“Good.” Sebastian headed out into the traffic and drove a few miles.

“One question.” Kurt said after a few minutes of silence. “You don’t have a sex swing in your apartment, do you?”

“No. Actually, I don’t. Is that on your wish list?”

Kurt blushed and stuttered. “No.”

He made several turns and stopped in front of a 2-story stone chalet-style house.

“What are we doing here?”

“This is my house. I live here. I’ll be right back. Grab your stuff and hop out.” Kurt did as he was told and stood on the sidewalk.

Sebastian pulled his car into the 3-car garage. He was gone for less than five minutes and came back out wearing jeans and a Dalton hoodie with a suitcase and a backpack in his hands. A taxi pulled up as he was locking the front door. “Come on.”

“What’s going on?” Kurt asked, as he followed Sebastian down to the street.

“I’m going to New York with you.” He opened the back door and climbed in.

Kurt got in and closed the door. He kept his voice low, but it still had a sharpness to it. “Have you run out of options at all of the gay-friendly bars in Columbus?”

Sebastian rolled his eyes and spoke even more quietly. “Would you stop, please?”

“Stop what?”

“Stop with the slut shaming. For one thing it’s really annoying and for another, I’m not…”

“You’re not what?”

“Experienced.”

Kurt laughed, but when he looked over at Sebastian, he saw the serious and embarrassed look on his face. “You’re serious? It was all just some act?”

He leaned over and spoke directly into Kurt’s ear. “I spent my sophomore year in Paris with my aunt. I went to a private school here in Columbus my before that. You’re the only person who knows that. I just let everyone else think that I had spent both my freshman and sophomore year in France. I came out to my parents before my freshman year. I decided that I was going to be out and proud. But even though my school had a no bullying policy, it only protected me from physical bullying. I didn’t hold up well under the stress. When I was gone, I grew quite a bit and I took up lacrosse. I came back bold and empowered from living where being gay wasn’t a big deal.”

“So, you bullied me instead?”

“Can we talk about this later? I’m not blowing you off, but this isn’t my ideal location for this conversation.”

“Yeah, sure.” Kurt shrugged. “ Why are you going to New York with me?”

“You need help to move your stuff from wherever it is to my apartment.”

“What about school?”

“This next week is spring break. I was going to go to New York anyway. My parents and grandparents are already there. They’re not staying in my apartment, but I do have plans to do a few things with them. I have campus tours scheduled as well. My parents will go and try to persuade and dissuade me simultaneously.”

Kurt laughed. “That’s actually hysterical, but I’m sure it’s one of those things that you’ll only find funny in about ten years.”

“Maybe. But I’ve already pretty much made my mind up. Columbia is ranked in the top 10 schools, while NYU didn’t break the top 30.” Sebastian said, as they stopped at a red light.

“Columbia, then?”

“I like a challenge.”

Kurt huffed. “Of course you do. What’s your major?”

“Physics.”

Kurt stared at him. “You can’t be serious.”

“I’m not just a pretty face, Babe.”

They sat in a rather comfortable silence for a few minutes. Kurt was staring out the window, watching the areas along the highway become a blur. He turned his attention back to Sebastian.

“What was life in Paris like?”

“Lots of pigeons.”

“Pigeons?” Kurt scrunched his nose.

“Yeah. Grey, wingy, bread-eating, little shits.”

“I know what a pigeon is.” Kurt said with an eye-roll. “I just expected Paris to be more fancy than that. You know, black swans on the streets or something. Pigeons are not very French.”

“You see, I disagree. You know why?”

Kurt shook his head. "Enlighten me."

“Pigeons eat bread. And what is a type of bread? A baguette! That’s very French of them in my opinion.”

Kurt sighed. He couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. “You should at least call them doves. It sounds more elegant.”

“It’s a soap brand.”

“Doves,” Kurt insisted. “The word ‘pigeon’ reminds me of Burt on _Sesame Street_.”

“There’s something more to this.”

“Fine. When Blaine came to visit at Christmas, he made a comment about how many pigeons there are in New York City and he started to sing the pigeon song and do the dance.”

“Oh, my God.” He cracked up laughing.

“Doves.”

“Doves it is,” he said, still laughing. “I can’t believe you were into that guy.”

“Oh, you’re the one to talk. You tried to steal him from me.”

“ _Au contraire_. I tried to break the two of you up.There’s a difference.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow. “Is there? Do tell.”

“I didn’t want him personally. I was tasked with getting him to return to Dalton. Plus, if you were single, then I could ask you out.”

“Look, I’ve had one hell of a day. You’re talking in circles. I’ve had enough manipulation to last my lifetime. I know this isn’t the time, but I want you to explain this to me so that it makes sense once we get to the airport.”

“As you wish.”

“I’m not a princess.”

“I didn’t say that you were.”

“No, I believe it was that I wore ‘cutting edge fashion usually only seen on Puerto Rican Pride floats’ or something like that.”

Sebastian grinned. “So you did hear what I said. I thought you were distracted by my giant horse teeth. What were you doing staring at my mouth, by the way?”

Kurt blushed.

Sebastian’s grin grew wider, but he didn’t press for an answer, coming up with one of his own. “ _Car nul n’a autant besoin d’un sourire que celui qui ne peut en donner aux autres_. You were dazzled by my smile.”

“Was not,” Kurt said petulantly. “Although the sentiment is nice. Giving people a smile when they haven’t any of their own to share.”

The taxi driver pulled off of 670 and headed into the airport.

Sebastian grinned at Kurt. “Now, I know that’s just untrue. Everyone is dazzled by my smile. _Tu avais besoin d’un sourire alors et tu en as toujours besoin_.”

“Fine. I probably did need one back then and again now. You’ve made your point. You have a nice smile.”

“Now see, was that so hard?”

"It really was.” Kurt rolled his eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself. Just because I find one acceptable thing about you doesn’t get you a pass for all of the insults.”

“In my defense, you started it.”

“So, now you’re using the same excuse as every 6-year-old?”

“I’d say that you’re the 6-year-old here. You didn’t want to share your toy with me.”

The taxi driver stopped in front of the passenger drop off area. Sebastian paid the driver before he got out.

Kurt didn’t respond. Instead, he got out, turned on his heels sharply, and walked directly to the counter to check his suitcase. He was pleased when a couple of people managed to get in line behind him preventing Sebastian from standing right behind him. He stood facing the person in front of him, actively ignoring Sebastian. Sebastian waited until he got to the end to turn in the serpentine line to try to talk to him, but Kurt turned his back to him.

Sebastian ignored the rules and ducked under the cord. “Kurt, I’m sorry.”

“Whatever.”

“No, I mean it.” He sighed. “I don’t know why I do it. I don’t know why I’m such a dick sometimes.”

Kurt gave him a half-smile. “You really are.”

Sebastian chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. “It’s a God-given gift.”

“Another reason to be an atheist. And I didn’t start it. You did.”

Sebastian chuckled. “I’m pretty sure I was just chilling when you decided to let me know about your intense dislike towards me.”

“You started it before then. We’d known each other for several weeks by then. You ordered me a Shirley Temple and took my boyfriend out on the dance floor. He drove that night. You getting him drunk caused me a lot of trouble.” Kurt said, as he stepped forward in the line.

Sebastian pulled his phone out, unlocked it, and offered it to Kurt. “Put your new number in so I can text you. My flight’s on a different airline. I’m going to go see if there are any seats left on this flight.”

Kurt took it from him, put his number in, and handed it back. He was certain that he was going to regret it soon enough.

Sebastian put his phone back in his pocket with a goofy grin on his face. He ducked back under the rope and went to the ticketing agent. He waited in line for ten minutes, only to be told that the flight Kurt was on was already overbooked.

“Fuck,” Sebastian muttered under his breath after he had walked away from the counter. He went and got in the line to turn his own suitcase in. After he got in line, he texted Kurt to let him know where he was. Kurt still hadn’t responded by the time he got to the head of the line. Sebastian took his claim ticket and stepped out into the concourse, but didn’t see Kurt anywhere.


	3. Chapter 3

Burt got a call from Carole before he even made it to Marysville. He pulled off the road at the next place he could to return her call.

“Burt? Where are you, sweetie? I stopped by the shop to take you some lunch since you weren’t home, but you weren’t there.”

“Well, it’s a long story that you won’t like. I’ll be back home in about thirty minutes.”

“Alright. I’ll be here.”

Burt disconnected the call. Everything he had learned bounced around in his mind. Blaine had cheated on Kurt two weeks after Kurt had left. He racked his brain trying to remember when it was that Finn had been in New York. He was certain that it was around the same time. Rachel, Santana, Mercedes, Sam, and Tina knew that Blaine had cheated. Maybe others, but no one took his side. How could that be? He struggled to come to terms with the fact that the people closest to Kurt took the side of someone who had cheated.

He considered Kurt's accusation that he had treated Blaine more like a son. Had he? One thing he knew for sure was that he wasn’t looking forward to telling Carole what had happened.

When Burt walked into the house, he was greeted by a kiss on the cheek and a smile from Carole. Unfortunately, he knew that what he was about to say would wipe that smile off her face. 

She walked into the kitchen leaving Burt alone with his thoughts. He sat on the couch, took his baseball cap off, and rubbed his head. He tried to think of the best way to deliver the news to her, but none of them were pretty. Maybe because the situation was not pretty at all. 

He knew people considered him an overprotective parent, but those people had yet to meet Carole. 

She came out of the kitchen a couple minutes later with a bowl of something green and disgusting. Burt stared down at the bowl.

“Sesame cucumber salad,” Carole explained. “Your lunch.”

Burt groaned. 

“It’s Kurt-approved,” she added.

Burt groaned again. “The kid doesn’t even live here anymore. How come he picks my lunch?” 

“You know he means well.” Carole handed him the bowl.

Burt sighed and accepted it. “I know he does. But sometimes he’s just exaggerating.” He picked one piece of cucumber with his fork and stared at it with disgust before popping it into his mouth. It was not that bad, but he was not going to admit that.

“He’s just worried about you.” She sat down next to him and caressed his knee. “He can’t afford to lose any more people.” She pursed her lips into a tight smile. “Neither can I.”

Burt put the bowl down and used his right hand to squeeze her hand in a comforting gesture. She smiled at him and he smiled back. 

“So, what’s the news I won’t like?”

Burt decided to just come out and say this. “Our son got engaged and-”

Before he could finish, Carole cut him off. “Again? Didn’t he learn anything from the last time with Rachel? Oh, please don’t tell me it’s with her again.”

Burt stared at her in confusion, trying to determine where he was when that particular event occurred, and why would Kurt get engaged to a woman, before the realization finally hit him. “Oh, no. Finn didn’t get engaged. At least, I hope not. I meant our other son.”

Carole’s eyes widened. “But he’s got to know better than this. This is way too soon.”

Burt wanted to reply with _“Yeah, that’s what I said.”_ But he didn’t want to lie to Carole. He valued honesty more than anything else. That’s why he couldn't imagine himself forgiving Blaine for what he did. 

Before he could respond, however, Carole continued. “Please tell me you talked him out of this idea.” 

Burt felt ashamed for ever thinking this was a good idea and encouraging Kurt to go with the flow. Even if Blaine hadn’t cheated, he was still a high school student and Kurt had plans for the future that didn’t include marriage anytime soon. 

“I wish I had been the one to talk him out of it.” Burt said. He really did. “But I can’t take the credit for it. The important thing is he’s not engaged to _Anderson_ anymore.”

Carole caught on Burt’s tone when he referred to Blaine. She knew Kurt and Blaine were broken up, but it seemed that there was something more to unpack. “Wait. Anderson? You mean Blaine?” she asked curiously.

Burt scoffed, but didn’t respond. That was the part he was scared the most about. He had no idea what to expect from Carole. She didn’t get mad very often. That’s why a mad Carole put him in uncharted water. But he knew for sure that her just getting mad would be the best of the outcomes. 

He resumed eating his not-quite-horrendous salad to stall for some extra time. His wife recognized his tactic, but didn’t comment on it. Instead, she sat patiently and waited for him to finish the meal. 

She took his bowl and held it rather than waste time getting it up to put it in the kitchen. “You’ve stalled long enough. How on earth did Kurt go from almost dating Adam to getting engaged to Blaine in ten days? When you said he was engaged, I thought you meant to Adam. That’s why I said it was too soon.”

“Wait, Adam? Who’s Adam?” Burt paused long enough to remember Kurt saying something about someone new. “Never mind. I got it. As for how it happened, I’m certain that was all Blaine’s doing, but he had a lot of support.”

“What does that mean? Everyone knew that they were broken up.”

Burt took a deep breath and sighed. “Earlier, at Dalton, there were four groups of kids. I only knew a few of the kids from McKinley, but the Warblers were there and a choir of deaf kids, I guess. They were signing instead of singing. And there was another group in blue. Oh, and Rachel, Mercedes, and Santana were there too.”

“Signing instead of singing?”

“Yeah, at Dalton. A trumpet started playing when he got close to the entrance. Blaine came out. Kurt went in with him. The band was playing and all those kids were singing and dancing, except the ones that were signing. They just stood along the edges of the curved stairway in a fancy rotunda.”

“This sounds like a circus. Kurt hates this kind of thing.”

“No, Kurt loves that kind of thing. Big musical productions.”

“He loves them in movies and in shows. Go on.”

“So, I couldn’t see what was going on when he first went in, but he ended up coming down the curved staircase from the upper level. People were throwing rose petals down from the landing up there when Kurt came down the stairs. Everyone was still singing at that point. A Beatles song. ‘All You Need is Love’. When he got to the bottom Anderson gave a speech and asked Kurt to marry him.”

“And Kurt said ‘yes’? That doesn’t make any sense.” Her eyes darkened and she stared into Burt’s eyes. “Did you just stand there? How did you know about this anyway? Why wasn’t I invited?”

“I honestly thought you and Finn were coming together, but once the music started and I went inside, I didn’t even think about it anymore.”

“So you were the only adult at this?”

“Schuester was there.”

“As I said, you were the only adult there?”

“There was another man. The deaf choir leader.”

“What I’m getting at is were Blaine’s parents there?”

“Not that I saw.”

“Well, that tells you something, doesn’t it?”

“Kurt already pointed that out.”

“I’m sure he did. I’m still waiting for you to tell me why you drove him there knowing what Blaine was going to do.”

“I thought they were just going through the long-distance struggles that a lot of couples do.”

“I held my tongue when I found out that you had taken Blaine to New York for Christmas, but obviously I shouldn't have.” She sighed so heavily that it came out as a huff. “You made him so uncomfortable.”

“He told you about it?”

“I’m his parent. We talk. What I can’t figure out is how you know so little about our son.”

“He doesn’t open up to me.”

“It takes effort. He’s not an open book. You have to work at it.”

“He intentionally hides things from me.”

She shrugged. “And? That makes him an unusual teenager in what way? Did you tell your parents everything when you were 19?”

“I get it.”

“So, go on about this proposal. Blaine stood at the bottom and said things to persuade Kurt that they’re soulmates or destined to be together forever or whatever.”

“And then everyone clapped and whooped and hollered and we all stood around talking for a while, and then we went into one of the rooms and had mini desserts.”

“So Kurt got engaged…to a high school student...because you drove him there knowing full well that he was going to be manipulated into it during a big song and dance production?”

“That’s the gist of it, yeah.”

“So, with what sounds like 75 people on Blaine’s side, including _you_ , how did Kurt manage to end up not engaged in time to make it to the airport on time?”

“One of the Warblers.”

“Well, at least one of them has some sense, unlike _other_ people, it seems.”

“I just wanted him to be happy. I thought he and Blaine were solid. I didn’t know that Blaine had cheated on him.”

“Blaine did _what_ now?” Carole asked, her voice angry.

Burt ran his hands along his scalp again and put his cap back on. “Back in the fall. About the time Finn came back from Georgia. Blaine hooked up with someone. Kurt said it was two weeks after he went to New York.”

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me.”

“I told him to stay away from Kurt.”

“That’s the least you could do.” Carole crossed her arms against her chest. “But you still didn’t tell me how he got out of that engagement.”

“Well, about an hour later, I got a text from Kurt, giving me the location of a coffee shop. He said to bring Anderson, so I had him follow me there. That’s where I met the Warbler that had driven Kurt away from the school.”

Carole’s patience was wearing thin with Burt’s constant pauses. “Well, what happened when you got there?”

“Kurt laid into me about how I treated Blaine more like my son than I did him. That’s when I learned about the cheating. I also learned that all of Kurt’s friends are now more Blaine’s friends than his.” 

Carole sighed. “Oh, that poor thing. Hasn’t he made any new friends in New York?”

“You’d know more about that than I would, wouldn’t you? Since you knew about Adam. I’ve never heard him say anything about anyone besides his boss, um, Isabelle, I think.”

“Well, maybe you should try and take interest in what our son is doing these days.” 

“I get that. If I knew how, don’t you think I would have gotten him to be more open with me by now? Anyway, he lives with Rachel and Santana and they obviously have Blaine higher on their list than Kurt. I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t open up to them either. Maybe they thought he’d be excited. I can’t guess their reasons for supporting the proposal. They were all smiling and looked happy, so I just assumed that Kurt and Blaine had worked things out this week.” He plopped back against the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling. “Anderson asked me the other day. He asked me for my permission to ask Kurt to marry him. I told him that they were too young. And then I drove him there and pushed him into the arms of a cheater.”

Carole also leaned against the back of the couch. “I’m glad you realized your mistake, but you still haven’t answered my question. How did he get out of it?”

“Well, the Smythe kid was with Kurt and he was 100% team Kurt.”

Carole frowned. She had heard that last name before. “ _Sebastian_ Smythe?”

“Yeah, why?” Burt asked with a raised eyebrow, very much like his son.

“No reason. Go on.” She kept what she knew to herself because she was determined to get to the bottom of what had gone on and Burt was dragging it out enough as it was.

“So, Sebastian was there. Blaine and I sat down with them. I found out about the cheating. Kurt gave the ring back. I told Blaine to stay away from Kurt. I threatened to send his parents a copy of the video I saw one of the kids taking if he didn’t leave Kurt alone.”

“So, Sebastian was the one who talked Kurt out of agreeing to marry Blaine?” Carole asked. It didn’t quite fit the description of him Kurt had presented the year before.

“Well, I don’t know that he talked him out of it. I wasn’t with them initially. But I do know for certain that he’s on Kurt’s side in all of this. When Kurt mentioned having to go back and live with Rachel and Santana, he offered to let Kurt live in his apartment in New York until he could find a place of his own or find new people to share a place with.”

Panic flashed across Carole’s face. She wondered if she should tell Burt about what happened between Kurt and Sebastian last year. She then noticed something odd. From what Burt told her, Kurt and Sebastian were being civilized to each other, _friendly_ even. Something about this seemed weird. “Did Kurt tell you anything about Sebastian?”

“He said that Sebastian had learned some lessons the hard way last year. And when Kurt asked him what he wanted in return for getting to stay in his apartment for a couple of months, he said to consider it repayment for a kindness Kurt had shown him last year. I didn’t ask. They seemed to have worked out whatever was between the two of them. Kurt said it was some show choir shenanigans or something.”

Carole knew it was way more than that, but she decided to drop it. If Kurt wanted to tell Burt about it, he would. She also knew that her son would never allow Sebastian anywhere near him if the latter hadn’t changed. “So, Kurt’s going to move into Sebastian’s apartment?” 

“Yeah, I guess so. I don’t know any details, though. The two of them left. I told Kurt to let me know when he got to the loft. He said they would work on the details on the way to the airport.” Burt paused again before continuing. “He seems good, that Sebastian kid. I don’t know any other teenager who would let another person live in their apartment all by themself when they’re away. Except for Kurt.”

“I think Kurt needs to see someone. He just agreed to marry someone who had cheated on him. He’s obviously not thinking clearly. And even worse, the people who should be supporting him don’t really know him. I think maybe we need to find someone who will see him in person, but who also will do some family sessions with the two of us. I’m really concerned for him. He just about tied himself to someone because everyone he knows thinks it’s a good idea.”

“Including me. Even though I rejected Anderson’s request, in the end it was the same as saying it was okay. I took him there. I can only imagine the amount of pressure Kurt felt. No one was on his side.”

“Except for Sebastian.” Carole said, still not quite convinced.

“Except for Sebastian.” Burt confirmed. “I think he’ll be good for him.”

Carole still was wondering what the catch was. Sebastian had pursued Blaine for months the year before. Why would he suddenly be “Team Kurt”? It didn’t make any sense, but he was still in high school and not in New York City at the moment. “If Kurt trusts him, we don’t have much we can do but trust him too for now. He’s offering Kurt an out. We can’t do that, mostly because Kurt would reject our offer. Why is he so stubborn about money? Why is he killing himself working two jobs and going to school full time? We’re paying for Finn to live in a dorm when his college is a few miles from here. Why is Kurt paying for everything? I know that we decided that we’d deal with them individually in regards to allowances and whatnot, but I’m _not_ okay with this. I was okay with him working at Vogue dot com because that could be a potential career option for him, But him working as a waiter too? That’s too much. He hasn’t even been to see any of the sights. He’s only been to the show you took him to. When I ask him about his sightseeing bucket list, he always changes the subject.”

“He’s stubborn. You know that.”

“I do, but _why_ is he so stubborn? It just makes no sense to me. Rachel’s dads pay her half of the rent and he seems to be okay with that. His independence and self-reliance is good, but he takes it to the extreme. All I can come up with is that he’s doing it to prove something to you. He’s too concerned about keeping you happy and preventing you from worrying.”

“What would he be trying to prove?” Burt asked with a surprised look on his face.

“If I had to guess, I would say that he’s trying to prove that he’s just as much of a man as you are. You’ve been known to treat him like he’s your daughter rather than your son. All of your low-level teasing about him not liking sports and his love of things that are usually associated with more feminine interests.” She switched gears quickly. “Name three famous chefs.”

“What?” Burt took a few seconds to think of an answer. “Umm… Bobby Flay, Alton Brown, and Guy Fieri.”

“All men.”

“Okay…” Burt was really confused.

“Cooking is for women unless you’re good enough to be famous. You say you can’t cook anything, which is a lie. If you can put a whole car engine together, you can follow a simple recipe. You just don’t want to, which is fine. But we put down men who do want to unless they’re famous. You may not realize it, but your little jokes here and there about how you’re a man and that’s why you can’t cook, those comments are like chiggers.”

“Those are the nastiest little creatures. You can’t even see them and they leave the most itchy bites. I get it. I’ve teased when I shouldn’t. But you really think that’s it? That I’ve made him feel insecure.”

“I think it’s a vicious cycle. If he tells you anything, you get more overprotective. And the more overprotective you get, the less capable of defending himself he feels like you think he is. He tells you less and does more for himself. It makes him feel more in control. Taking money from you makes him feel like he’s not capable of taking care of himself. It goes along with not telling us that Blaine had cheated on him.”

“He thought we wouldn’t think he was manly because Blaine cheated on him?”

“I’m imagining that Blaine blamed him in some way. Again, this is just conjecture, but telling people that his boyfriend cheated on him makes him sound like he wasn’t enough to keep him. He’s never enough in his own eyes because people have told him so for so long. Mr. Schue never gave him solos. He’s always second best to Rachel. And she has no problem reminding him of that. Blaine even dated Rachel first. We make plenty of money to pay for his rent. We just have to figure out how to get him to accept our help.”

Burt snorted. “Right. Have you ever tried to help Kurt do anything?”

“I know it won’t be easy.” Carole straightened the wrinkles on her dress.

“You’re right about the therapy though. I think he really needs someone to talk to. I don’t know. I never meant to make him feel bad. He’s a great kid.”

“He’s not a kid.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Actually, I think that’s part of it too. He didn’t get to be a kid. He took on too much responsibility too young.”

“Therapy is a good suggestion. You suggest it since he talks to you more than me. I don’t think I can take much more self-recrimination today.” 

“And I don’t think Kurt can take any more stress today.”

“Unfortunately, I’m afraid that’s all he’s going to face the rest of today. If he’s moving into Sebastian’s apartment, that means moving. He has to get everything packed.”

“You’re right. And at some point you know that all of those so-called friends of his are going to start calling and texting.”

Just then the front door opened. Sam came in, talking on his phone. “Dude, I’ve called him like five times. It goes straight to his voicemail. His phone is off.”

Carole said, “Sam. Have a seat. We need to talk.”


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt made it through the line relatively quickly. Once he had his luggage claim ticket, he headed to the security checkpoint. He unfortunately was chosen for a pat down and having his shoes x-rayed. He realized that he should have followed Sebastian’s example and tried to change his clothes before they got to the airport. A 19-year-old wearing an expensive electric blue suit didn’t exactly blend into the crowd.

Once he finally passed security, he waited for a few minutes for Sebastian to come through. When he didn’t, he decided that maybe Sebastian’s line had been much quicker and that maybe he had headed into the shopping area or had gone on to the boarding area for Kurt’s flight to look for him.

He walked down through the area that had the majority of the shops and restaurants, but didn’t see him. When he got to the T, he looked both ways, but still didn’t see Sebastian. He walked to the end in both directions. He headed back towards the security point when he didn’t find him anywhere.

Meanwhile, Sebastian was checking his phone every two seconds to make sure he hadn’t missed Kurt’s text. He hadn’t. Kurt hadn’t texted him back yet. Sebastian would never admit it, especially to Kurt, but he was getting kind of worried. 

He checked his messages again. Still nothing.

He forced himself to stop worrying long enough to think logically. Kurt hadn’t seen where he had gone when he left the line, so he had no idea what airline Sebastian was flying on. He decided to head to the security area for the concourse that Kurt’s flight was departing from.

Once he made it through the line and had his carry-on x-rayed, he started to look for Kurt. He made it about three-quarters of the way to the end of the long part of the concourse when he saw Kurt coming from the T section back towards him.

Clearly annoyed, Sebastian asked, “Where the fuck have you been?” when Kurt finally reached him. “Didn’t they teach you how to use a goddamn phone in that public school of yours?”

“I’ve been looking for _you_ and waiting for  _ you _ to call or text. I don’t have  _ your _ number, remember?”

“I have!” Sebastian half-yelled in frustration. “Like 50 times.”

Kurt pulled his phone out, only to realize that he had never turned it back on after they left the coffee shop. He powered it on, opened his texts, and saw that Sebastian had texted him ten times. “I see that you did _now_ , but I turned it off at the coffee shop. I practically never actually power my phone off. I didn’t even think about it. I didn’t want to deal with anyone harassing me. I never considered that I might actually  _ want _ to get a text from you. These are strange times, indeed.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Fucking hilarious.”

“So, we’re going to eat and you’re going to explain to me just what the hell your deal was last year. I went with the truce and apology because I was honestly just sick of dealing with you and I figured that was the fastest way to get you out of my life.”

“Fine, but if you want me to talk you’re buying.”

“Seriously? Then just forget it. I work two jobs to barely make ends meet. I’m not springing for some ridiculously outrageous airport restaurant meal. Why don’t you just go eat and wait for your flight wherever you’re supposed to board.” He turned and walked off towards the T section again.

Sebastian groaned angrily and quickly followed him. “Kurt, wait!”

Kurt didn’t even flinch. He picked up the pace.

“Kurt, come on!” Sebastian almost pleaded.

Kurt stopped and turned on his heels. “I’ve skipped plenty of meals and not died. Just go wherever you belong and leave me alone. I don’t even care anymore about last year.” He turned back to continue to his terminal to find a seat and sit and wait.

Sebastian caught up. “I can even buy you lobster if you want!”

“No, you can’t. This is Ohio. Go away. I have enough stress in my life. I’m not going to willingly add more. I need to do some research. Just go eat lunch wherever you want and catch your flight.” Kurt wove his way through the seats in his terminal and sat in the most crowded area in hopes of preventing Sebastian from making any more of a scene.

He really underestimated Sebastian. 

Sebastian sat right next to him. “Honeybunch, I’m so sorry about not being able to get that Lexus you wanted today. We’ll get one as soon as we get to New York. I’ll find someone who can get the pink one by Monday.”

“I didn’t ask for a pink Lexus, you ass.”

“My mistake. It was the BMW you finally decided on? I’m sure I can arrange for that.”

“Go away. Stop making a scene,” Kurt spoke as quietly as he could, but still be heard by Sebastian.

“A scene? Honeybunch, you broke down crying when the salesman said he couldn’t get a pink one today. I’m just trying to make you happy.”

Kurt didn't like to swear. He thought it was immature and uncivilized. In some situations, however, he found it absolutely necessary. This was one of these situations."I fucking hate you."

“You don’t mean that, but I understand that you’re angry. Let’s go eat a nice lunch. You’ll feel better once you’ve eaten. You know how you get hangry when you haven’t eaten.” 

Kurt realized that he was fighting a losing battle, but he wasn’t going to give up just yet. He got up and moved to sit between two older gentlemen who were trying to sleep. Before he had the chance to slide all the way back in the seat, Sebastian sat down in his lap.

“Honeybunch, please come have lunch with me. You know how I hate to eat alone.”

Kurt took a deep breath and regrouped enough to restrain himself from pushing Sebastian off his lap. If he didn’t go with him, he knew that security was going to end up getting called because he was being glared at by the gentleman to his right. “Fine. Get up. We’ll have lunch,” he said, just to get Sebastian off of him. He still had no intention of eating with him. Now, it was a matter of refusing on principal. 

Sebastian got up from his lap, and even though Kurt couldn’t see his face he was 100% sure that Sebastian was smirking. 

“I saw a Bob Evans and a sports bar grille. You pick.”

Sebastian led the way to the grille because he figured it would be more noisy overall and they could speak more openly than in a quieter place like Bob Evans.

They were seated quickly. Sebastian asked for a booth and let Kurt sit first. He slid in next to him causing Kurt to roll his eyes, but he was stuck at that point, so he just smiled much too big for it to be real. He picked up a menu and looked it over.

When the waiter came to take their order, Kurt let Sebastian go first. 

“I’ll have the ribeye. Medium well. Baked potato, loaded, with the sour cream on the side, please. Thousand island dressing, also on the side. Iced tea, no lemon.”

He took Sebastian’s menu. “And for you, sir?”

“I’d just like a glass of ice water, no lemon. Thank you.” He gave the menu back.

“I’ll get your drinks right out.”

As soon as the waiter was out of earshot, Sebastian said, “I thought I made it clear that I’m paying after all.”

“You did. I’m just not hungry.”

Sebastian didn’t look convinced. “You didn’t have any of the tiny dessert bites Blaine bought either.”

“Neither did you. We left. I remember.” 

“That’s why I’m eating now.” Sebastian said. His tone sounded as if he was explaining the most obvious thing.

“That and it’s lunchtime. I get it. You’re free to eat. I’m not stopping you.” He pulled out a day planner from his satchel. He opened it to the next week and looked through his schedule, completely ignoring Sebastian’s presence. He got out a pencil and flipped to the daily portion of the month. He flipped back and forth between the month view and the daily section and started making notes, listing every break he had and trying to figure out when he could try to get extra hours at the diner. 

The waiter dropped their drinks off.

Sebastian was observing the entire display in silence. Once Kurt had stopped writing, Sebastian asked, “Did you leave time to sleep?”

“Only as much as I absolutely have to. Five-six hours usually.” He went back to ignoring him and sent a few texts.

“That’s not very healthy, babe.” Sebastian realized that his treacherous mouth would throw in the endearment when Kurt was behaving in a way that concerned him. He did not like that observation. 

“I’m not your babe. Mind your own business. When you work two jobs and go to school full time, while maintaining a 4.0, you can lecture me about my life choices.” His phone chimed with a few texts, which he responded to. He made some more notes in his planner and added in the shifts he had just managed to get from two people who were trying to leave town for the week.

“Why do you have to work two jobs? You have two roommates, don't they both have jobs.” 

“Rachel’s dads pay her half of the rent. I pay mine. Santana isn’t on the lease and she doesn’t have her own space, so she refuses to contribute to the rent. She pays a third of the utilities and sometimes buys some groceries. Money doesn’t grow on trees, and it takes a lot of hours to make $1200 a month and that’s if I barely eat. Minimum wage is not even $10 in New York. You do the math.”

“Hasn’t your dad offered to help you?”

“He’s helping to cover some of my tuition.”

“But in the coffee shop he said-”

Before Sebastian could finish, Kurt cut him off. “I know what he said. I was there. He just finished his cancer treatment. He has a lot of medical bills. He had just finished paying off the last set when he found out he had cancer. He’s never even taken Carole on a honeymoon yet. I have to make it on my own. We can’t all be Smythes, Sebastian.”

“The last set?”

“Yeah, from my junior year when he had a heart arrhythmia that led to a heart attack and him being in a coma for a while.”

“I didn’t know.”

“I figured not. Why would you?” Kurt went back to looking at his planner. He texted Isabelle, offering her what was left of his available daytime hours. He put his planner back in his bag to keep Sebastian from looking over at it. “I’m the one who chose to go to an elite, aka expensive, school. Why should that be on him? I told him that I would accept as much as it would cost to send me to Ohio State. That seemed reasonable. And I only accepted that because he’s a congressman now and his income has increased. I actually did a terrible job of planning for college. So, as the expression goes - I made my bed and I have to lie in it. If I want to stay at NYADA, then I’m going to be working this much until I graduate. What I have yet to decide is whether I should get another job for this summer or whether I should stay in school full time. I’m leaning towards taking classes, but that costs money. I have a couple of months to figure it out.”

“I get it, Kurt. I really do, but you’ll overwork and end up hurting yourself.” 

“Well, if I don’t work as much as I do, I’ll either not be able to go to school or I’ll go to school while living in a terrible place and eating less than I do now. I just told you how much I need just to pay my expenses at the loft. That doesn’t count paying for books, dance wear, and my classes.”

Sebastian stayed quiet for a while. He knew Kurt wouldn’t like what he was about to say next. “You said that we can’t all be Smythes, right? But I am one.”

“Lucky you.” 

Sebastian didn’t have time to say anything back because the waiter brought his food and sat it on the table in front of him. He refilled Kurt’s water. He returned just a moment later with a pitcher of tea and refilled Sebastian’s glass as well.

“I feel weird eating while you sit there with no food.”

“I’d suggest you get over it. Once you get out into the real world, you’re going to be faced with a lot of injustice that you’re not used to being confronted with.”

Sebastian sighed and decided to not incite Kurt any further at the moment. He fixed his potato the way he liked it and began to eat. 

Kurt pulled a notebook out of his bag and began to write. He figured that Sebastian would focus on his food and stop reading what he was writing. He made a list of everything in the kitchen that belonged to him, along with a list of the different things he had contributed cash to when he and Rachel equipped the loft’s kitchen. Given how annoying Sebastian was, Kurt had done everything he could to only be at his apartment while he slept for the following week. He didn’t want to accept Sebastian’s offer, but he didn’t want to face Rachel every day either. It was a lesser of two evils situation. One week of seeing Sebastian occasionally or two more months of seeing Rachel and Santana every day.

“What the fuck do you need a bread maker for?”

“I thought I had made my statement of ‘Mind your own business.’ pretty clear. I use it to make bread.” He rolled his eyes and went back to making his list.

“You say you barely have time to sleep and yet you make bread?”

“It’s easy and it’s cheap. I mix everything up in like five minutes, put it in, and set it to bake. As long as I add milk and raisins, I have breakfast for a week waiting for me the next morning. I do it on Saturday nights.”

“Do you want to hear about what or rather  _ who  _ I do on Saturday nights?”

“Not at all, but thanks for offering.” He sighed and refocused on his list, hoping that Sebastian would take the hint, yet knowing that he wouldn’t.

Sebastian cut off a piece of his steak and put it in his mouth, pondering how he was going to break through the 10-foot walls Kurt had up. Every time he tried to be nice, it didn’t work. Teasing him only irritated him more. After a few more bites, he came to his senses and realized that this wasn’t the time for his usual antics and bantering. He remembered what Kurt had just been through earlier that day.

He was afraid that the only way to get Kurt to talk to him was bringing up the subject he really didn’t want to bring up. “So you wanted me to talk.”

Kurt looked up from where he was writing. “Discovery of the month.”

“I’m trying here, Kurt. It’s not like spilling my guts to you today was on my agenda for the week. I didn’t actually prepare anything.” 

Kurt closed his notebook and sighed. Sebastian was right. Kurt was the one who’d been pressuring him to answer his questions ever since he found out about Sebastian’s apparent attraction to him. “You’re right. I put you on the spot and asked you questions that require you to be a real boy. I’m all ears.”

Sebastian had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying something he would regret. He finally got Kurt to pay attention to him. He was not going to fuck it up. “So, what do you want to know?” Sebastian straightened in his seat and took another bite of his food, not wanting the steak and potatoes to be completely cold when he ate them.

Not sure that he wanted to hear about how Sebastian found him attractive just yet, he opted for another direction. “You mentioned that you were facing consequences. Consequences for what?”

“Well, when the New Directions turned us into the Show Choir Board for doping, we were all rounded up by individual teachers to make sure that all of us were found immediately. They put on one of the school’s mini buses and took us down to juvie to be drug tested. Only some of us had taken the shots, but none of us had ratted Hunter out. We were all drug tested that afternoon. Everyone who had been taking the shots obviously tested positive. My drug screen came back positive for marijuana, amphetamines, opiates, and steroids.”

Kurt’s eyes widened. “I thought you’d only taken steroids.”

“I didn’t.” Sebastian responded. Then he realized how it must have sounded. “I hadn't taken anything. I wasn’t one of the ones who took the shots. If we had been tested around the time of Sectionals, I would have been clean, except for the opiates. I have a huge love of poppy seed bagels. I eat at least two a day. I also indulge in at least one lemon poppy seed muffin from the coffee shop at Dalton.” 

“I don’t get it.” 

“I was sick when we were tested. I had been sick with a cold and I took Sudafed and Motrin for a while, but I got worse. I went to the doctor and I had walking pneumonia. I got put on antibiotics and I was given an inhaler to use for two weeks, gradually lowering the dose. But no one asked any questions at our intake. We were just processed in as a group, drug tested one right after the other, and then taken right back to the school.”

“Okay. I still don’t get it.”

“I’ll explain in a minute. When my drug test results came back three days later, I was called to the Headmaster’s office. When I got there, my parents were waiting. I was given a written letter of expulsion based on my drug test results. I was accompanied to my dorm room and required to remove my possessions immediately. My parents and I were escorted off the property as soon as I had everything out of the room.”

“But you still attend Dalton.”

“My father filed to have me reinstated the very next day. He took me and the drug results to our doctor and asked him to explain how it was possible to get the results on my report. Once our doctor explained that my love of poppy seed baked goods could lead to a positive drug test for opiates, he went on to explain the other three. High doses of ibuprofen can trigger a false positive for marijuana. The inhaler was a steroid inhaler and Sudafed is a stimulant, which made the test show positive for amphetamines. He ordered a new drug test, actually several that are more discriminating and we waited for the results. Unfortunately those took longer and I was out of school that whole time. Somehow, Columbia got wind of the whole debacle and withdrew my early admission offer. That created another huge mess for my dad to try to straighten out.”

“Has he? Straightened it out I mean.”

“Eventually. I was allowed back to Dalton a week after I had been expelled. My dad fought to allow me to make up the work I had missed, but the school would only give me one week since I had missed one week. I did nothing but schoolwork for the whole week.”

“You said you still have the option of going to Columbia and made it sound like that’s where you’ve chosen to go, so I’m assuming that he straightened that out too.”

“He did, but that took longer.”

“With Blaine causing you so much personal trouble over the whole thing, why on earth did you agree to allow him to host the proposal at Dalton?”

“I didn’t really have much choice. The Warblers got such bad press over the steroid scandal that those of us who didn’t take the steroids just wanted to have the school associated with something positive.”

“So you were gonna let me get engaged to Blaine just because you didn’t want your school’s reputation to fall any lower?”

“I told you that I thought you two were solid. I didn’t know about the breakup or the cheating. I thought you’d been going strong for two years.”

“Yet, you handed me that card. Your story doesn’t quite add up. I’m sure that you knew that I would never cheat on Blaine, so why give me that card?”

Sebastian put the last bite of steak in his mouth and chewed deliberately slowly in order to give himself more time to think. 


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as he swallowed his last bite of steak, he took a drink of tea to wash it down. “Fine. Ask away.”

“Let’s start with the card since that was the most convoluted explanation. Start over. Make sense this time,” Kurt practically ordered. The weight of everything from earlier in the day, plus the thought of Sebastian being the only one who would be there to help him move was sitting on his shoulders like Atlas holding the world up.

“Okay. The card was meant as a way to get your attention. I wanted to talk to you. I thought it would be funny. Having no prior knowledge of the cheating, I didn’t realize that it would be a trigger. I apologize for that. I honestly just came up with it as a joke. I knew you two were solid and I know you’re not the cheating type. It wasn’t a real invitation. I honestly just wanted to get you alone long enough to tell you that I was happy for you and to congratulate you. I just wanted to reiterate my apology from a year ago. After that day at the Lima bean, I told my parents that I wanted to see someone. I went to counseling for about six months. I worked through my issues. I know that sounds lame, but I just wanted you to know that I wasn’t just saying empty words that day in the Lima Bean. I knew you didn’t believe me, but for whatever reason, I just wanted you to know that I was serious. I am really sorry for what I did.”

Kurt turned sideways to lean against the wall to have a proper look at Sebastian as he let the words sink in. “I accepted your apology that day, whether I believed you or not. But I believe you.”

“Why did you do that? I was horrible to you.”

“Meh. I’ve had too many slushies to count thrown at me. The slushie was only a big deal because you put rock salt in it, which scratched Blaine’s cornea. If you had thrown an untainted slushie, the world would have just kept spinning like always. And honestly, you’d have probably gotten some silent applause from the New Directions members that day. Everyone was pissed at Blaine for leaking our set list. Your rock salt addition changed his status from traitor to martyr in the blink of an eye. Him jumping in front of me was just another reason everyone thought he was great. As if I hadn’t had hundreds of slushies thrown at me before. If he had minded his own business, you would have hit my outfit and it would have gone to the cleaners like all of the other clothing items that I’ve been slushied in that weren’t washable. End of problem. Your slushie and him jumping in front of it made for an amazing attention-grabbing situation for him.”

“That’s what I was trying to do. Ruin your clothes, I mean.” Sebastian sighed. “Not that that’s any better.” 

“I know. You hate my clothes. I get it. But it still would have been over in 10 seconds. I had a slushie repair kit in my Navigator at all times. I would have walked to where I had parked, gotten one towel out to dry off, put the second one in my seat, and driven home. Same song, 976th verse.”

“I don’t hate your clothes.”

“Right. I thought this was going to be where you told the truth and we moved on into the future, but if you’re going to lie to me still, this is over. Get up and let me out, please. I really don’t feel like crawling under the table.” Kurt turned so he could duck under the table. He figured what were a few stains for the cleaners to deal with. The suit wasn’t going back into his wardrobe anyway.

“Wait, please!” Sebastian grabbed Kurt’s arm to keep him in his seat. “I mean it.”

Kurt straightened and crossed his arms in irritation, giving Sebastian a bitch glare.

He let go of Kurt’s arm. “Look, we have to find a way to stop sniping at each other long enough for me to explain myself. I am not going to lie to you. I know I have in the past, but that was then. I told you that I got help. I’m not that guy anymore. I know I’m still a sarcastic jackass sometimes, but I’m not…” His voice trailed off. “Do you even care? Are you just torturing me for the fun of it? Is your plan to interrupt with smartass questions and not actually even listen? Because if you don’t really want to listen, then I have no intention of sitting here and telling you things that only my therapist knows. I’m trying to open up to you and that’s not something I’m especially good at.” Sebastian closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He went back to eating and finished his baked potato. 

Kurt bit his bottom lip. Sebastian really saw right through him. Maybe not all of his accusations were true, but he was right about Kurt trying to irritate him, which was not the way to go about it. He knew that it couldn’t have been easy for Sebastian, of all people, to open up like this, and he was just being a bitch about it. “I’m sorry, please continue.”

When he finished the potato, he looked at his salad, knowing that he couldn’t eat it. “I can’t eat anymore. Do you want this salad? It’s just going to go to waste if you don’t eat it.”

“If you’re really not going to eat it, slide it over here. I’m not going to just let it get thrown out.” 

Sebastian pushed it towards Kurt, who pulled it the rest of the way in front of him. He put about half of the dressing on and began to eat.

“I’m just going to start at the beginning. Maybe you’ll feel less like I’m making things up if you have more information. You can ask a question if I leave something out that makes the story confusing, but try to refrain from making snide remarks.”

Kurt nodded.

“So, in the taxi, I started to explain a little bit. I’ll go back to before I started high school. I came out to my parents over the summer before my freshman year. They enrolled me in a private school here in Columbus that had a no bullying policy. My freshman year went really smoothly. I liked the school. I liked my classes. I made it onto the lacrosse team. I sang in the school choir, which was a stool choir. I did well. Nothing remarkable about that year. My sophomore year started and a guy named Maurice transferred to the school from Boston. He made it his life’s purpose to torture the gay kid. He was devious and terrible. He was in most of my classes and he would do things like wait until the end of the line to drop off his quiz, and when the teacher was busy standing hall duty, he would go through the stack and remove my quiz. Somehow, he got the combination to my locker and he’d take my textbooks and put them in the room where we had class. Sometimes it was a combination of both. He’d take my Trig or Pre-Calc quiz and put it in my book and leave it in the classroom right before the end of the day. I’d have to go back around to my classes to reclaim my books before I could go home. And I had to convince my teacher that I didn’t just walk out of the room at the end of class and leave my book with the quiz in it behind. When he didn’t leave written work of mine in the books, he’d leave notes about out fags would burn in hell or how fags were the reason the country was suffering economic hardships because God was punishing the country for giving fags more rights instead of locking them up. When I started to carry all of my books with me, he just moved on to another form of torture. This went on all school year. ”

“Why didn’t you turn him in for bullying?” Kurt asked when Sebastian paused. 

“I did, but the administration didn’t do anything because I had no proof. There was no way to prove what was going on. They let me switch lockers, but he managed to get the combination again. No one that I was friends with ever saw him do anything. Or if they did, they didn’t speak up because they didn’t want to end up on his bad side too.”

“Well, that hits close to home.”

“What do you mean?”

“There was this one guy.” Kurt decided to not mention Dave’s name. He didn’t want to ruin Sebastian’s opinion of him. “He made my junior year a living hell. I told my teachers about it, but they said there wasn’t any evidence, even though I had plenty of bruises and cuts to prove it. You know, ‘I  _ could _ have gotten them somewhere else.’” Kurt rolled his eyes. “When it got more serious, he was expelled. It didn’t even last a whole week. His parents appealed, and he was back three days later.” Kurt finished bitterly.

“Wait, that’s what your dad mentioned.” Sebastian recalled. “ Someone threatened to kill you, but he only got suspended for three days? That’s why you went to Dalton.”

“Yes, and no one but Blaine knew that. And now you. I never talked about why I was at Dalton, other than the vague mention of bullying. Can we please go back to you?” Kurt asked. Talking about it made him uncomfortable and brought back bad memories. And they both had planes to catch.

“Right. I stuck it out the whole school year, but I was miserable. It went in waves. He would stop for a while - just long enough that I would begin to relax and think he had finally stopped. And then he’d come up with something new. I had friends there though, and I didn’t want to switch schools. The last day of school, he left a ‘See you next fall.’ note in my locker. I just couldn’t face going back there. My mom’s relatives mostly live in Paris. My aunt offered to let me come stay with her family and go to school in Paris for my junior year.”

“Junior year? Your timeline is wonky.”

“I’ll get to that. It’s actually a big part of the story. So, my junior year I went to school in Paris. I actually left right after school got out here. My mom and I used to go every summer. She’d stay for a month and I’d stay through the summer usually. I had spent enough time there that I wasn’t nervous to go to school there. Plus, I enrolled in the French school that my cousin Henri went to. He and I are the same age, so I had some classes with him. I was already friends with his friends. I hit it off with a guy I met at school and we sort of dated, which is not the topic right this minute. So, I loved going to school in Paris. I was in the math and technology track there. I made a lot of friends. I was free to be myself. I grew up a lot. The deal was that I would return to Columbus for my senior year and apply to colleges. So, I did. Only when I came back, there were issues with my credits and transferring them to Dalton. I was put in mostly junior classes. American History and Literature. I was livid. I let my parents fight the school and focused on my classes and on becoming Lead Warbler.”

Kurt started to interrupt, but refrained from doing so.

“When Blaine came to Dalton, an opportunity fell into my lap. He came into the room wearing his ‘bashful school boy’ look and then ate up every word of praise from Trent, who asked if it was Blaine’s ‘triumphant returned to Dalton’.”

Kurt snorted.

“Yeah, exactly. I knew who he was. I had seen the videos from the year before. ‘Candles’ sucked by the way.”

“I know. Go on.”

“So, I knew who he was. I walked right up and greeted him by name and introduced myself. He accepted my invitation to coffee at Dalton. We sat and talked for an hour at least. Well, I use the word ‘we’ loosely. Mostly I got him to talk. I asked him to tell me how to ‘recreate his meteoric rise at Dalton’.”

“Smooth.”

“I thought so. I saw an easy way to get details on our main competition. He was desperate for attention, so I gave it to him. You walked in on us having coffee in the Lima Bean. I pretended to not know who you were because he still hadn’t figured out that I already knew about him and you. But when you walked up, it took everything in me not to totally check you out. You did some serious growing up between that Regionals video and the fall of your senior year. You were gorgeous and sassy. I like that combination.”

Kurt blushed. He had to bite his tongue to stop himself from replying with a comment about Sebastian’s constant insults and jabs about his appearance. He did promise him not to be catty.

“And you sat down all possessive of Blaine. You rose to my challenge. We met up the next night. I did a little asking around about you and Blaine. I found out that you don’t drink, so I ordered you a silly non-alcoholic drink. You took offense, and I was a little confused. I let it drop. We danced and horsed around. I thought we all had a good time. I didn’t have your number, but I texted Blaine and asked him to go out again. He said that he could, but that you couldn’t go anymore, but you were fine with him going. Something about your dad running for Congress. I just accepted his answer and he and I went out a few more times before I saw you again in the Lima Bean that day after our Sectionals, which was a few days before yours. I hadn’t seen you since that night at Scandals and when Blaine got up, you blasted me with ‘I don’t like you.’ I fired back with the same statement, trying to keep the shock off my face. I had no idea why you were angry with me or why you disliked me. Like I said, I thought we had all had a good time. Every time we ran into each other after that, you waited until Blaine walked off and started another fight with me. It was confusing and hurtful since I didn’t know what I had done to make you so angry with me."

“I thought it was obvious.”

“Obviously, it wasn’t. I fired back. We were terrible to each other. Anyway, I managed to work my way to being Lead Warbler by the beginning of the spring semester. Blaine and I were still hanging out at Scandals sometimes and we texted and talked on the phone. He was an endless source of gossip. He knew nothing personal about me or the Warblers, but he loved to talk about what went on in the New Directions. Always under the guise of how different it was to be part of the New Directions or how he was on a second meteoric rise to leadership of another show choir. So anyway, I was operating under the belief that you knew about our interactions, so that day when you asked him how often the two of us talked, I was surprised. Then you insulted me in front of all of your friends who didn’t even know me. You said something about not even being willing to drink coffee in the same coffee shop with me. That was a low blow. I still didn’t know what I had done to make you hate me. And then I learned you disliked me enough to avoid your favorite coffee shop just so you could avoid me. I was hurt. I insulted you about what you were wearing. And my quills were up so far that I lashed out at Santana because she was there. I didn’t actually know that any of her relatives were in jail. And my dad would never give me access to information on people. He’s a good man and an honest lawyer. Laugh all you want, but there are good lawyers too and he’s one of them.”

It dawned on Kurt that maybe Blaine had been telling the truth - that all of Sebastian’s texts had been family friendly. Maybe Sebastian had never propositioned Blaine after he met Kurt. He was really confused. All of his thoughts were jumbled. “I get that. My dad is an honest politician. Keep going.”

“So, Blaine texted me, inviting the Warblers to a Jackson-off in the parking garage the next day. That afternoon was a day from hell for me. I was called into the guidance counselor’s office to be told that the state had rejected Dalton’s case for accepting my non-conforming credits from France and I was going to have to attend high school for another year. I was in the worst mood possible. You had been so hurtful the day before and Blaine had bragged about making it six months at McKinley without being slushied when he told me how to get the wine out of my blazer piping. I inquired and he explained the tradition. I was so mad that I went out and got one. We’ve already discussed Blaine’s interference. So my day went from bad to worse to even worse the next day when I found out that he had to have surgery. Not long after that was Dave’s attempt. I broke. I had insulted him when he tried to get me to help him learn how to be better at picking up guys. I don’t know how to pick up guys, but I was too prideful to admit it. I insulted him and blew him off like he wasn’t worthy of my time.”

“You know it wasn’t your fault, right? His life hadn’t been easy for quite some time at that point. Your insults were just another piece of straw on the camel’s back. It was more my fault than yours by far.”

“Still, if I had just kept my stupid mouth shut.” Sebastian paused. “What do you mean your fault?”

“That’s a story for another time. You’re telling your story now. And I’m listening.”

“Fine. So, his attempt hit me hard. I realized that in my concerted effort to be at the top instead of the bottom, no pun intended, I was becoming someone I didn’t want to be. I still didn’t know why you hated me, but whatever it was I was sorry that I had angered you so much that you didn’t even want to be in the same establishment with me. I obviously needed help, so I asked my parents and they helped me find a therapist.”

“It seems like our story split into two before it even started. When I walked up to the table at the Lima Bean, I heard you tell Blaine that it didn’t bother you if it didn’t bother him when he turned down your offer to hook up with him. That set a very bad tone for our interactions. From the very beginning, I thought your goal was to take him from me or to get him to agree to sleep with you on the side. And I felt like he was the only good thing in my life, so I was willing to do what it took to keep you away from him, even if it meant going to a bar that I didn’t want to go to. We went. You insulted me by implying that I was too straitlaced to relax and live a little and drink. You were showing off how much fun you were while pointing out what a prude and uptight bitch I was.”

“Woah, woah, woah. That’s a lot of assumptions.”

“Like I said, our versions of our interactions are dramatically different. You took Blaine out onto the dance floor. I was left standing with my girly virgin drink while you showed him what it would be like to go out with a ‘real' man, one willing to give him a good time.”

This time it was Sebastian who bit his tongue, waiting for Kurt to continue.

“I had no idea that he was still going out with you after that night. I didn’t even know he was still talking to you, but every time we’d run into you, you were pleasant and flirty with him while you were distant and didn’t really interact with me.”

“You were closed off and not really all that conversational.”

“True, but that didn’t change the fact that I thought you were trying to take him from me. One question before we go on. Why were you in Lima so often?”

“Oh, my dad’s sister Victoria lives in Lima. They used to live in Columbus, near us. I’m close with her and her husband Antony and my cousin Jillian went to North Lima. Alexis was in junior high still. Anyway, I was in Lima a lot to spend time with them. I had a key to their place and I crashed there when I went to Scandals, which I quit doing after Dave’s attempt. Jillian hated it so much at North Lima that they moved back to Columbus last summer.”

“Alright. That night at Scandals was miserable. I hated every minute of it, well, except the two minutes I spent talking to David and he told me that he was doing well. I was glad about that. When we left, Blaine was drunk. I don’t know when he drank more, but he obviously did. We left and…” Kurt struggled to keep his emotions in check. He had buried that night in the farthest recesses of his mind, trying to keep from ever thinking about it again. He zoned out, just staring at nothing.

“And…?”


	6. Chapter 6

“I’ve never told anyone. I did my best to wipe it from my memory.”

Sebastian’s eyes filled with concern. “Did something happen to you? Did one of the guys grab you in the parking lot or something?”

Kurt laughed humorlessly. “You could say that.”

Sebastian sat patiently and waited for Kurt to start talking when he was ready. Just when he was about to tell Kurt that he didn’t have to tell him, the other man finally spoke.

“As I said, Blaine was far more drunk than a single beer level of drunkenness. He needed help to make it to his car. Yes, his car. He drove us there. My Navigator was at his house since he lives closer to Scandals.” Kurt wiped his eyes. “I tried to get him in the back seat to lie down, so maybe he wouldn’t throw up. He pulled me in on top of him and I lost my footing. I tried to get free, but he kept evading my efforts to remove his hands. He wanted to have sex and I said ‘no’ and ‘stop’ repeatedly. He was trying to convince me while keeping me from getting out. He only succeeded in getting my shirt untucked before I managed to get out of the car. He got out and was angry. He said I wasn’t spontaneous and fun and he stomped off, saying that he was going to walk home. I followed him in the car for a while and when he got too tired to walk anymore, I convinced him to get in and I drove him home. I went home after that. I already knew he didn’t hold his alcohol well because the time before that when he was drunk, he made out with Rachel. I try to never think about it, but he was drunk. Drunk people do stupid things.”

“That’s no fucking excuse.” Sebastian said fiercely, while still trying to keep his voice down.

“What?”

“Him being drunk. That doesn’t make it right.”

“I know that, but he wouldn’t have done that if he hadn’t been drinking.”

“You don’t know that. I didn’t give him another beer. You said something about him saying you weren’t spontaneous and fun. ‘Spontaneous’ is an awfully big word for someone who’s too drunk to realize they’re attempting to rape their boyfriend.”

“Wait, who said anything about rape?” Kurt’s voice was barely louder than a whisper. “I just didn’t want our first time to be in a parking lot in the backseat of a car.”

“Your first time? He was trying to fuck you for the first time in a car?”

“Please don’t use that word. There are at least ten other ways to say that. But, yes, it would have been our first time. Please don’t laugh.”

Sebastian’s eyes widened. “Why would I laugh?”

“Because we were both virgins. You made it very clear how experienced you were. You made me so insecure. You were offering to hook up with him the day before. We’d been together seven months and hadn’t done anything besides kiss. You were offering him what I wasn’t ready to give him. That was actually one of the reasons I put out the next day.”

“Wait, he tried to force you, and the next night you slept with him?”

“Well, yeah, but he was sober and there was a bed.” Kurt shrugged. “It’s okay, Sebastian. I wanted to. I was the one who asked him. It was on my terms. I couldn’t lose him.”

Sebastian was concerned about how easily Kurt let Blaine off the hook for the attempted sexual assault, but he realized there was nothing to gain by saying anything else about it right then. “So, you slept with him to keep him away from me. Or to keep him from coming to me to get what you thought he wanted.”

“No. I slept with him because I loved him and wanted us to be intimate.”

“But I was the reason you decided to do it when you did, wasn’t I?

“If you’re asking me if I would have slept with him that week if the two of us hadn’t met, then I guess the answer is that I wouldn’t have, but I would have eventually. So, then or two weeks or two months later, the outcome would have been the same. We were in love. I would have slept with him at some point.” Kurt’s words were too angry for them to be the whole truth and he knew it.

“We’re done. Let me get the waiter to bring me the bill.” He looked out into the restaurant to get the waiter’s attention. Once he caught his eye, the waiter brought it over. Sebastian already had his card out ready to slip it into the folder. He handed it right back to the waiter. He slid out and sat on the other side waiting for his card to be returned.

Kurt looked confused and slid towards the edge of the booth.

“Go ahead and go back to your boarding area. I can wait on my own.”

Kurt didn’t like the tone Sebastian was using. “Did I do something?” he asked with a frown.

“If you can’t or won’t tell me the truth, then we’re done. We were supposed to be working through our past issues and we can’t do that if you’re not honest.”

“Actually I’m pretty sure you were supposed to be the one answering the questions.” Kurt snapped. “I didn’t have to tell you anything. I’m just doing it out of good will.”

“You’re right, but if you do talk, I expect what you say to be truthful. I was the catalyst for you giving into Blaine. If I hadn’t been around, there is every possibility that you wouldn’t have slept with him then, but I’ll let that slide. Why I know I’m right is because you hated me far too much for it not to have been an issue, maybe _the issue_ that created all of the animosity between us. I poked at a sore spot with saying that Blaine would be mine. I didn’t know it was a sore spot, but I couldn’t come up with anything else on the spur of the moment. You assumed it meant that I _was_ after him when I really wasn’t. I was after what I could get from him, which was information about the New Directions.”

“Fine. I’ll concede your point. You did hit me where it hurt. I’m not rich. I wasn’t in Blaine’s league. You were everything I wasn’t. You’re good looking, athletic, rich, and you don’t have a gay face. You could have passed as Blaine’s best friend to his family and they would have welcomed you with open arms. I hated you because you could have had any gay guy you wanted, but you seemed to be determined to get the only gay guy would deign to date me.” He paused, but not long enough to give Sebastian the impression that he was finished. “Go back to where you were talking about yourself. Dave’s attempt hit you hard. You went to counseling. Explain the ‘consequences’ you mentioned at Dalton.”

“No, wait.” He stumbled in getting out what he wanted to say. 

The waiter returned with his card. 

He stood up after the waiter walked away and got Kurt to scoot back into the booth. “I mean, yes, I’ll answer that, but first, all of this started because Blaine assaulted you while drunk and you thought he’d get what he wanted from me, so you gave him what he wanted, and then you hated me for it. Is that the gist of it?”

“I hated that you could take him from me. I didn’t have anything to offer him. I didn’t even know why he was with me. I mean before that night, he had never expressed any interest in going any further than kissing. I had serious doubts that he was even attracted to me. And there you were basically offering yourself to him on a silver platter…”

“Which is where our perceptions of the situation were completely different. No wonder you hated me. But why would you think he wasn’t attracted to you?”

“The very reasons you pointed out. I’m too flamboyant. I’m too girly. I’m not manly enough. I have a 'gay face'. I can’t pass. We had a lot of interests in common, so that gave us things to do together besides _those_ things, which he never initiated. What else was I supposed to think? You came along, complimenting him and flirting with him, things that he laughed at when I tried. Enough. You got me talking about me again. Back to you. Dave…counseling... go on. The consequences. Start there.”

“Well, I told you about the fallout from the steroid accusation.”

“Yeah.”

“Hunter had dirt on everyone. Someone had mentioned the slushie incident to him when they were drunk at one of the Warblers’ parties at the beginning of the school year. He held it over my head as blackmail.”

“But Mr. Schue contacted Dalton back right after it happened, so I figured that whatever punishment you got happened back then.”

“I don’t know anything about anyone contacting the school back then. All I know is that I was never called in for it.”

“Interesting. Go on.”

“His parting gift was to tell Headmaster McLean about what had happened. Since it happened off school grounds and no Dalton students were injured, he couldn’t expel me over it, but I was already being expelled because of my drug test results. When I came back the next week, he revoked my privilege of leaving campus. My dad intervened and counter-offered to let me leave campus so I could work every weekend to repay the Andersons for Blaine’s medical bills.”

“Headmaster McLean? What happened to Headmaster Wilson?”

“He left at the end of my first year.”

“So, you’ve been working to repay the Andersons. That seems reasonable.”

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a while, long enough that their waiter came back and refilled their drinks and offered them dessert, which they turned down. 

“So, you were never interested in Blaine?”

“No.” Sebastian replied shortly.

Kurt wanted him to elaborate. “Why flirt with him then?”

“I told you. I wanted dirt on the New Directions. He seemed like the easiest source.” He ended with a shrug. 

“You didn’t have to hit on him to get information.” Kurt pointed out. “You said he was desperate for attention, but you don’t have to be romantically or sexually involved with somebody to pay attention to them. Being friends with him would have been just fine.”

“Being friends would have meant me opening up to him, which isn’t something I wanted to do. But you are right. I didn’t have to be flirty. After he turned me down, I didn’t really perceive my actions as flirty, but more fan-like since I wasn’t propositioning him anymore. I was trying to be like Trent because clearly Blaine was used to that type of behavior from his friends. You know? Complimenting him a lot.”

“Blaine and the Pips. I remember. Fine. You weren’t trying to flirt with him, but do you at least have the ability to see it from my perspective now? You came in offering to hook up with him and then spent every moment we were together complimenting him.”

“Yes, but can you also admit that you were giving me ice glares within minutes of meeting me and that you were never friendly towards me?”

“I readily admit that. I disliked you after the first sentence I heard you utter.”

Sebastian sighed. “I get that. Everything makes a lot more sense now. We need to go. They’ll be calling your flight to board any time.” He pulled out some cash and left it on the table before he got up.

They walked back to the end of the concourse. Kurt walked towards his boarding area. Sebastian followed him and stopped about halfway. Kurt turned back.

“I’m just going to go wait in my area. I’ll let you find a place to sit and not embarrass you. Text me your address so I know where to go when I get to New York.”

Kurt pulled his phone out and sent him the address. He turned back and heard his flight being called for boarding. Everything they’d said to each other was still working its way through his mind. He needed time to process the day.

* * *

Sebastian went back the other direction to wait. He found a seat away from everyone and tried to relax, but his mind raced as he went over the conversation he had had with Kurt. He had been bullied. The slushies. He mentioned losing track of how many. He left McKinley. Bruises and cuts. A death threat. 

He could barely believe it. Sure, Kurt could be a bitch, but Sebastian couldn’t comprehend why somebody might actually want to kill him. 

He sighed. He closed his eyes and leaned back. He needed to think about what was going to happen when he got to New York. They’d need boxes and a truck. He didn’t have any idea how much stuff Kurt had. He texted Kurt and managed to catch him before he had to turn his phone off. Once he had finished making the arrangements for the move, his mind wandered back to his conversation with Kurt.

_No wonder he hated me._

Kurt’s assurance that he would have slept with Blaine regardless did nothing to assuage his guilt. He had still been in “fun and games” mode at that point in time. He hadn’t considered that Kurt had taken his insults seriously. Kurt had told him that he smelled like Craig’s List. How could that have been taken seriously?

He had never given any consideration to the fact that Kurt was insecure in his relationship with Blaine. Kurt said that he didn’t think that Blaine found him attractive.

_Was Blaine blind?_

He sighed. He had added to it. He insulted Kurt’s looks, his clothes, his voice. He only made him more insecure, even though he didn’t believe what he was saying was true. Sure, Kurt had insulted him as well, but Kurt was right that he had started it with that stupid “It doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you” line. He hadn’t known that Kurt had heard that. How was he ever going to convince Kurt that he really did like him? 

He knew that first he needed to make sure Kurt even wanted him as a friend. Sure, they could go ten minutes without sniping at each other, but Sebastian knew that it would take a lot more than that to make things right. If they even could be right.

* * *

Kurt took his History of Theatre book out of his satchel and opened to the next chapter. He needed a break from his own thoughts. He took out the notebook he had been writing in earlier. He wrote a few things that he ended up crossing out. He couldn't focus on anything except his conversation with Sebastian that kept playing over in his head. He was pretty sure he accidentally wrote one of the things Sebastian had said on the paper. He couldn’t work like this. 

He pulled out his iPod and turned some music on to help drown out his thoughts. He redoubled his efforts because moving had not been on his agenda for the day. He took a deep breath and started over on the next page, copying only what was useful. He wrote the skeleton of the paper he needed to complete by Monday. He put his topic sentence for his three supporting paragraphs and listed the page number and paragraph of each quote he was going to use to support his idea. By the time he landed, he had the start of a decent paper.

* * *

Kurt decided that time was more important than money and took a taxi to the loft. He started pulling everything out of the kitchen that was his personal property, making sure to remember the bread maker. He couldn’t afford to lose that baby.

He couldn’t remember the last time the loft was so peaceful and empty. With his busy schedule, he never managed to end up being home alone. He wondered what living at Sebastian’s apartment would be like. It would be way more peaceful, that’s for sure, but he wasn’t sure if he’d feel exactly comfortable there. Also, he had never really lived by himself before, except for that time after his dad’s heart attack when he stayed alone in their old house. Those memories were not good ones. He hoped that this time living on his own would be better.

He refocused and quickly packed up anything he didn’t want Sebastian to see in one of the boxes he had kept from when his dad had mailed some of his stuff to New York from Lima. He grabbed a couple of trash bags to put his pillows in. Sebastian had offered to bring tape, a few more boxes, and plastic to wrap his bed in.

When Sebastian arrived about two hours later, Kurt had everything that was his on the kitchen table ready to be packed. He set Sebastian to do that to keep him out of his personal space for as long as possible. Unfortunately, he finished before Kurt did.

“Which towels in the bathroom are yours? I was going to put them in a box. I’ve finished the kitchen stuff.”

“The blue ones.”

Kurt came out a few minutes later. “That’s it. I’m not taking the pallets. I’m going to go ahead and get a real bed frame when we go to Ikea. That way I’ll have room to store stuff under my bed. We just need to wrap my mattress in the plastic you brought and we can start loading the truck.”

“We’re going to Ikea?” Sebastian asked, surprised.

“Well, yeah. I still have some stuff I need to buy. You’re the one who brought it up earlier. Plus, you've already rented a truck.”

“I do need to get a few things. I had planned to do that tomorrow, but you’re right. We’ve got a truck now, so we might as well get it over with. I don’t have a desk yet. Maybe I’ll see one I like.”

“Let me go get George to watch our stuff. I asked him on the way up. He’s going to sit on the back of the truck while we load it to discourage people from thinking it’s a free-for-all.”

“Good idea.”

Kurt looked at Sebastian. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

Sebastian was just about to when it struck him what game Kurt was playing. He decided on rolling his eyes. “Very funny.”

* * *

An hour later, they pulled into the Ikea parking lot. They grabbed a cart and headed into the maze. They walked for a while in silence, taking it all in. Kurt felt at home, having been to the Ikea near Westerville several times. 

Sebastian was the first one to speak. “So, how does this work exactly?” 

“If we see something we like in the showroom areas, we write down the numbers of the items on this list. Then, when we get to where the stock area is, we’ll be able to pick up what we want. They’ll have larger trolleys down there that furniture will fit on. The little stuff will be stocked in an area that looks like Target, basically. It’s past the showroom areas.”

They wound their way around through the store and finally get to the area where they could make their selections. Sebastian was fooling around combining different shower curtains, towels, and accessories when Kurt walked up.

“Who’d have thought? Sebastian Smythe, interior designer. With those popped collars, I thought you’d just grab something and move on.”

Sebastian kept his voice low. “Fuck you." He caught himself. "Wait. No.”

Kurt stepped closer and spoke barely louder than a whisper. “No? You don’t want me to fuck you?”

“Shut up.” He turned red.

Kurt raised an eyebrow, enjoying turning the tables on Sebastian. “I actually like all three of your combinations.”

Sebastian almost said something snarky, but quickly stopped himself because they were getting along.

Kurt chuckled.

“What?" Sebastian turned to look at Kurt. "You just said they all look good.” 

“You’re going to want a shower liner or the floor is going to get really wet. And a bath mat.”

“Right. I didn’t see those or think about it, actually.”

Kurt walked towards the wall to get the other items.

* * *

An hour later, they pulled the bed out first and relocked the back since they had no one to guard their stuff this time. They carried the mattress up three flights of stairs. Kurt kept hold of it while Sebastian unlocked the door. He picked his end up and walked in backwards. He turned to lean it against the wall.

“It’s empty,” Kurt said, as he stepped past the end of the kitchen into the living room.

“Yeah, the furniture isn’t coming until tomorrow, which is when I was supposed to be arriving.”

“It’s empty.” Kurt repeated, as he walked towards the doors he assumed led to the bedrooms.

“You already said that.”

He looked in both rooms. “It’s empty, Sebastian!” 

Sebastian shrugged. “So? What’s the big deal? I said the furniture will be here tomorrow.”

“But we're here tonight.”

“You have a perfectly good bed. We can get that frame put together in no time flat.”

“That’s one bed. There are two of us.”

“I’m still not seeing the problem. We can both fit in your bed.”


	7. Chapter 7

Kurt took a deep breath. “You want us to sleep in the same bed?”

“I don’t have cooties, Kurt. You’re starting to give me a complex. I showered this morning, but I’ll shower again tonight because we’ve been moving furniture. It’s not like I’m going to get in your bed all disgusting and sweaty.”

Kurt just stood there for a minute before his brain re-engaged. They didn’t have time for this. “We need to get the rest of the stuff up here.” He headed for the door and went down the stairs. He had the back of the truck unlocked by the time Sebastian got there. 

They grabbed the lower section of the large wood unit that Kurt had been using as a room divider and locked the back and went back up. They continued the process until they had the truck empty. 

Sebastian stopped on his way out to return the truck. “I’ll have a pizza delivered. What do you want or what do you absolutely not want?”

“All veggies on my half. Any. Thanks.”

Sebastian left. Kurt was left in the apartment alone. 

He decided to start unpacking his things. He started with putting the hanging clothes in the closet and then stood in the middle of his new room looking around. He liked the walls. He loved the open feel of the loft, but he had desperately missed real walls. He also realized that Sebastian had failed to mention that there were no curtains. 

He went out into the main area and peeked into Sebastian’s room again. No curtains anywhere. And no curtain rods. Just great. His mind flashed to the bathroom. He opened the door and breathed a sigh of relief. There was a permanently installed shower rod. He went back to his room.

He was too stressed out to think, so he grabbed the ironing board and found his iron. He went and sorted through the Ikea bags and pulled out the shower curtain. He took it back to his bedroom and ironed it. The smooth repetitive motions calmed him some. Once he finished, he grabbed the liner and hooks and hung them up.

_At least we can shower now._

He went into the kitchen and opened the boxes and began to put what he had brought with him out on the counter. He could at least sort through what he had and make a shopping list. He had intentionally not gone shopping the week before he left so there wouldn’t be much sitting around for the ten days he was gone, leaving little to tempt his roommates to help themselves to while he was gone. He got his notebook out of his satchel and made a list.

He went back to his room and started to unpack his less personal items, mostly the things he needed for school. By the time Sebastian came back, he had gotten his desk ready to use again. 

“Looks good.” Sebastian said as he walked into the room.

“As good as it can.”

“Why are you always being so hard on yourself? Like I said, it’s great.”

“Thanks. Let’s go eat that.” He got Sebastian to leave his room and take the pizza to the kitchen. “We can at least sit down. Rachel used money her dads gave her to buy the table and we bought the other chairs together, but the two I brought with me are mine personally. I’m assuming you have a kitchen table and chairs coming tomorrow.”

They each took a slice of pizza and started to eat.

“Actually, I don’t. Just the sectional and bedroom furniture. I didn’t really care for the tables at the place we went to to pick out the furniture. They were all large, like for a formal dining room. I figured I could eat sitting on the sofa until I found something I liked. I wasn’t in a rush since I’m not moving in until the middle of June.”

“Makes sense.” Kurt filled his Brita pitcher with water and sat it on the counter to let it filter. 

“Oh, I didn’t even think about drinks. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I have glasses. We can drink water.” 

Now that the frenzy had died down, neither one of them really knew what to say. Kurt stood waiting for the water to filter through and poured two glasses of water. They ate in silence.When Sebastian finished his piece, Kurt handed him the glass. 

For some unknown reason, Sebastian flashed back to hearing about Dave’s attempt. He thought back to when he looked up Karofsky's number and called after Dave had gone home from the hospital. He hadn’t gotten up the nerve to go see him, but he wanted to apologize. Dave had rebuffed his apology and told him that he didn’t have anything to do with his decision. He mentioned deserving what had happened to him at Thurston. He hadn’t pushed him to explain. Kurt knew Dave from McKinley. Kurt had been surprised to see him at Scandals, but not surprised like he didn’t know that Dave was gay, more like he didn’t expect to see him there. Something about it seemed odd. When he had talked to Dave, he mentioned things being bad at McKinley, but that didn’t make sense either since he knew that being outed was what had caused him to react the way he had. He hadn’t been out at McKinley. Why would he transfer schools at the start of his senior year?

“Can I ask you something?”

Kurt hummed.

“What happened between you and Dave?”

“What do you mean?” Kurt asked, not wanting to give away anything.

“I know you went to school together but it seems like there’s something more to it. He wasn’t out, but you weren’t surprised that he was gay from what I saw. You looked surprised to see him at Scandals, but it seemed like you already knew he was gay.”

“I did. Actually, Blaine and I both knew.”

“How? Did he come out to you? He doesn’t strike me as the ‘sharing my sexuality’ with people type.”

He told the truth, but not the whole truth. “He did come out to me.” Kurt was still trying to avoid explaining what had happened. 

Sebastian looked skeptical. “You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Hiding things. Telling half-truths.”

“It’s personal.”

“Well, I did share some personal sh… stuff with you today.”

“You told me stuff about yourself. This involves stuff about someone besides just me. Plus, I never agreed to tell you anything personal. You were the one on a mission to prove to me that you’ve changed.” He abruptly changed the subject. “Have you worked enough to pay the Andersons back yet?”

“Almost. The rest I’m taking out of my personal savings, where I’ve saved up money from birthdays and stuff. I missed my last shift this afternoon, so I’ll be about $75 short, but I’m okay with that. My ‘confined to campus’ punishment ended this weekend. I’ve been working as a filing clerk every weekend working 8-hour shifts on Saturday and Sunday, plus 3-hours two evenings a week. But lacrosse is going to have Saturday and weekday games starting after spring break.”

“You called out from work yesterday?”

“I did. I was supposed to fly out tomorrow morning. Thus the lack of furniture today. Someone needs to be here for it to be delivered.”

Kurt looked puzzled.

“When I was standing in line at the coffee shop, I called in and said that I couldn’t make it today. When you were talking to your dad, I changed my flight to this afternoon, hoping that we’d end up on the same flight, but I didn't know what airline you were flying on. When you were zoned out in the car on the drive to my house, I set up a taxi to pick us up while sitting at a red light. I originally had one set up for tomorrow morning. Fortunately, I had already packed. So, I just ran in, changed, grabbed my bags, and came back out.”

Kurt was floored that Sebastian had done so much to make himself available to help him. “I didn’t realize. Thank you.”

Sebastian nodded and stuck another bite of pizza in his mouth. He still wanted to understand what had gone on between Dave and Kurt. He continued to eat and it dawned on him. Dave said that he deserved what happened to him. Dave had bullied Kurt. 

Unaware of Sebastian’s thoughts, Kurt continued. “I’ll repay you for the moving truck. You just need to let me know how much it was. And the plastic wrap and packing supplies. And half the pizza. I still have some money in my savings for ‘rainy days’ and it’s been a tsunami-level storm today.”

Sebastian only half heard what Kurt had said. “It has been. You can pay me back whenever.” He knew that telling Kurt that he didn’t need to pay him back would just get Kurt angry again. He went back to thinking about Dave while they continued to eat. 

“Why did you go back to McKinley instead of staying at Dalton where you wouldn’t get bullied?”

“I missed my friends.” he replied curtly.

“That seems unlikely, given the state of their self-centeredness.” He had irritated Kurt, despite not trying to.

“Fine. I missed my clothes.”

Sebastian snorted. “That sounds closer to the truth.” 

“I went back because I wasn’t happy at Dalton. I wasn’t happy at McKinley, but at least my unhappiness was free at McKinley. And the bullying was reined in under the leadership of Santana.”

“So, the head bully bullied the rest of the bullies into behaving?” Sebastian avoided asking about the money issue that Kurt was skirting around.

“I’m assuming she has dirt on all of them. She just used her HBIC powers for good - just that once.” Kurt sighed. “Dave helped her with that. They dated.”

Sebastian stared at him in confusion. “But they’re both gay.”

“You don’t say?” Kurt said sarcastically, but quickly changed his tone. “They were each other's beards. You know, they pretended to be in a relationship so nobody would find out they were gay. Haven’t you ever had one?”

“No. Have you?”

Kurt smiled a little. “Does the football team count?”

“I don’t think so, but please tell the story.”

“I thought I was supposed to tell you about Dave?”

“Fuck. Yes, tell me about Dave and then about your affair with the football team.” Sebastian paused. “Now I’m imagining you having an affair with the entire football team. At once.”

“Wouldn’t work. Finn was on the team. Although I would have probably liked that back then.” Kurt scrunched his nose. “Another story.”

“You sure seem to have a lot of those.”

“My life is not as boring as you might think.”

“I’m sure that ‘ _interesting_ ’ is a better description, as long as it’s said with the right inflection.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Okay, so you’ve never had a beard. Have you ever been in a relationship?” He tried to redirect the focus back onto Sebastian, but he got no answer. He got up and got another slice of pizza. “So, it’s okay with you if I leave the big wood unit in the living room along that wall?”

Sebastian looked up and across the room. “Oh, yeah. It’s fine. I was going to put the sectional along that wall, but we can just put it in front of it for now. That unit is too big to fit in your room. The bedrooms here aren’t all that big. My mom had the place gutted and reframed and everything when the building went co-op. It originally just was, well that doesn’t matter. She asked what I wanted, which was a large functional kitchen with full-sized appliances, a washer and dryer of my own, and a second bedroom. I gave her my requests and the architect she hired did what he could with the 500 sq feet. I got everything I asked for, but the bedrooms are pretty small. Sorry, I got off track. You can leave the unit there. It won’t be in my way since I won’t even be here.”

“Right. Thanks.”

“Sure.” Sebastian shrugged. “You distracted me again. Tell me about Dave, _please_.” 

He nodded, but finished his slice before he started to talk. “Dave and I have known each other since middle school. We didn’t go to the same elementary school. He wasn’t a fan of my change in wardrobe from more ‘normal’ in middle school to dressing the way I liked in high school. He made his dislike of my wardrobe choices quite clear by attempting to ruin as many outfits as he could with slushies. Him and a good number of the other jocks. He was on the hockey team my freshman year, so he wasn’t part of the daily dumpster tosses that were part of the football team's bullying repertoire or part of the lawn furniture being nailed to our roof or the pee balloons. His specialty was locker shoves. That’s where someone comes alongside you in the hall and shoves you and you lose your footing and get slammed into the locker banks. That was the source of most of the bruising and the cuts. Some of the vents on the lockers are sharp along the edges. And of course all of the jocks, regardless of their team affiliations, participated in the verbal bullying and throwing slushies. That’s it. The McKinley jocks bullied the losers.”

“Fuck. That sounds so terrible. Not like the Dave I know at all.”

“Yeah, he changed when he was helping Santana with the Bully Whips.” Kurt changed the subject. “Now, you know about Dave. Back to you. You’ve never been in a relationship?”

“Depends on your definition.” 

“Um, dating someone, exclusively.”

“Is sex dating?”

“Were you friends with the person or …”

“Yeah. That’s why it’s called friends with benefits.”

“Are you not into romance or…? Sorry, I’ve never understood friends with benefits. Why not just date?”

“Well, specifically back then I knew that I had to go back to Ohio for the next school year and I wasn’t interested in a long-term, long-distance relationship. I only spent about two and a half months in Paris each year. But honestly, I was 16 and wanted to explore my sexuality.”

“I get that. The long-distance relationship thing. Been there, done that. Do not recommend.”

“I can see why. He cheated on you after two weeks. I just didn’t want the emotional attachment and heartbreak, but like I said, I wanted to explore my sexuality safely. Hooking up in bars didn’t appeal to me. Plus, I was trying to stay under the radar with my fake ID. I was living with my aunt and uncle. I couldn’t just take someone back to their place and I sure as hell wasn’t going to go back to someone else’s place and end up in pieces in their freezer.”

Kurt laughed, but then stopped abruptly. “What do you mean you don’t like hooking up in bars. That was your shtick. Remember, the man of your dreams and your 20-minute relationship at Scandals?”

“The love of my life. That’s what I said.“

“Same difference.”

“I practiced hard on those lines. Don’t misquote me,” he teased. “That was the problem when Dave approached me to help him learn how to get a guy. I blew him off and insulted him to cover over the fact that I didn’t know how to answer him.”

“Wait, what?”

Sebastian blushed. “I already told you I’m not experienced.”

“Yeah, but I thought you were just yanking my chain.”

“I wasn’t. I don’t really know how to flirt with guys. All the things I said to Blaine? Practiced in front of a mirror.”

“So, you acted like you were a player, but you’re not.” He sighed. “Go on.”

“Okay. Here’s where I completely humiliate myself. I had the friends with benefits arrangement with Jean. I had known him for several years from hanging around with Henri’s friends in the summers, but I didn’t know him well enough to know that he was gay. He was in a few of my classes and we paired up for projects since I already knew him. We hit it off. After a couple of months, he told me that he knew I was leaving, but he was interested in the friends with benefits. I took him up on it. I had been to his house before. I was fine with the idea. And that was that. When I came back to Ohio, I didn’t want to do the friends with benefits thing again, so I decided to give hooking up a try. I saw Scandals when I got turned around in Lima on the way to my aunt and uncle’s place not long after I got back. I went back there one evening and hooked up with a guy.” He looked away, unable to maintain any type of eye contact and still speak. “It felt good when he blew me, but I just didn’t enjoy it at all otherwise. I thought maybe I just couldn’t relax and enjoy it because he was older than me and I was too tense, so I tried one other time with a guy about our age. I still didn’t care for it. That’s it. Two blow jobs for randoms at Scandals.”

Kurt turned his head to the side and looked at Sebastian in consideration. “That’s not what I expected.”

“What did you expect?”

“I always thought that you made it your life’s mission to collect all the STDs. You know, like Pokémon.”

Sebastian stood up and put his glass near the sink to use later. He grabbed the Ikea bags on the way to his room and shut the door behind him. 

“Well, that can’t be good.” Kurt said to no one, after Sebastian shut his door. 

After finding the pack of hangers, Sebastian started hanging up the clothes he had brought with him, and then put the other items in the built-in drawers and on the shelves in the closet. The suitcase fit up on the top shelf. Once that was out of the way, he plopped down on the floor. He looked through the bags and saw that the stuff for the bathtub was missing. He put all of the towels in a bag together and stepped out of the closet to wash them and remembered that the appliances hadn’t been delivered yet. He lay down on the floor and used the bag of towels as a pillow. He crossed his arms over his chest and willed himself to go to sleep. 

Kurt didn’t know what to do at that point. Sebastian had never been mad at him before, at least not in his presence, plus Kurt had never cared before. He didn’t know how to fix whatever had gone wrong. He figured he shouldn’t disturb Sebastian and just let him have some time alone. That’s what Kurt would have wanted in this situation.

Kurt’s eyes roamed the empty apartment and he sighed. He walked over to the windows in the living room and looked outside. The far left of the three windows had access to the fire escape. He considered opening the window and climbing out, but he reconsidered when he remembered that it was Saturday. That meant baking bread, which was something he could do despite the lack of appliances. 

He quickly whipped the batter together for cinnamon raisin bread since he didn’t have much else. He used a little less oil than the amount of butter called for and hoped for the best. Once the batter was in the bread machine, he cleaned up what he had gotten dirty and stacked everything back with his stuff.

He went into his room and put the rest of his clothes away. When Sebastian still hadn’t come back out a half-hour later, he opened the box with the bed frame and began to lay the pieces out so he could assemble it. He made it as far as emptying the box before he ended up sitting against the wall and pulling his knees up to his chest. He rested his forehead on his knees and started to cry as the memories of walking down the circular staircase just nine hours before filled his mind. 

_ All you need is love, love, love _

_If that were only true._ “If that were true...” he stopped. “No,” he said out loud. He took a deep breath. “I don’t have time for a break down.” He wiped his eyes on his hoodie sleeve and got back up.

He looked at the directions and realized that it was really a job for two people. He was going to either spend all night doing it by himself or he was going to have to go apologize to Sebastian and hope that he’d be willing to help. He was realizing how much easier it had been to just be mean to Sebastian and pretend that he wasn’t human. He was ashamed of himself. Sebastian had a point about it being him who started it with the insults.

He left his room, took the two steps needed to be in front of Sebastian’s door, and knocked lightly. “Hey, Sebastian, can I come in?”


	8. Chapter 8

“Why? Did you forget something mean you wanted to add to that last zinger?”

“No, actually I want to apologize.”

“Fine, sure, whatever. Come in.” He sat up and leaned against the wall.

“Look, I don’t know why I said that. Wait, that’s not true. I know why I said it. It’s because my default setting with you is ‘lash out verbally’ and that’s just what comes automatically. And what that says to me is that I didn’t actually forgive you when you apologized. I just put you out of my mind. You mentioned it all being fun and games until it wasn’t. I’m there now. This isn’t fun. I’m not… this isn’t me. We’re not fighting for the same guy, and it turns out that we never were. I’m sorry for what I said. You’ve been nothing but helpful all day. That comment I made earlier about you having to be a ‘real boy’, I need to take that to heart. You aren’t just some 2-dimensional high school villain. You’re a real person, who, if you are normally like you have been today, is actually a really nice guy - the kind of guy I’d actually like to be friends with.”

“Thank you.” Sebastian said very quietly. It was barely louder than a whisper.

Kurt went and sat down next to him. “I was out of line earlier, too. If I remember right, you pointed out that two people can fit in my bed. Let’s go put the bed frame together and get the bed made. That way we can actually get some sleep. I know you have furniture being delivered tomorrow and I have to work. I don’t even know how to get to the diner from here, so I have that left to figure out tomorrow too.” 

“Oh, so that’s what this is about?” Sebastian teased. “You just want a place to sleep.”

“I’ll be in the other room putting the bed frame together whether you help or not. But you’re still welcome to sleep in the bed with me instead of on the wood floor using your new towels as your pillow.” Kurt closed the door behind him as he left. _This is exhausting_. He sighed and went back into his room and started on the assembly.

Sebastian walked into the room soon afterwards. “So you aren’t afraid of catching my collection of STDs after all?” 

His voice was more teasing than upset, so Kurt considered it a success. It didn’t change the fact that he still felt bad for making that comment. “I’m really sorry, Sebastian. I’m not sure that I have it in me to be completely nice today, but I can at least rein it in to the point where I'm civil. It’s been a long day and tomorrow will be just as long. When the girls get back and see that my stuff is gone, they will be mad, if for nothing more than the inconvenience of losing things they were used to using. I don’t know what to think. They treat me… anyway, they both bought tickets to Ohio at the last minute to come be a part of what they probably considered to be a fairy tale proposal.” He stopped talking and focused on what he was doing.

“Do you think your friends know that you called it off?”

“They all knew we had broken up last October. Santana and Rachel definitely know that I’ve been casually dating a guy named Adam that goes to NYADA with me. And by casual, I mean really casual. We mostly just hang out for short periods of time whenever I can manage to get more than an hour free. But I did ask him out, so we’re in this limbo area where we’re friends, but are we ever going to be more than friends? I just don’t know the answer to that. I told him that I desperately wanted to be over Blaine, and I do. But it’s not just as easy as saying it. Anyway, he’s from England and I don’t even know if he’s staying here after graduation.”

Sebastian’s heart sunk. Kurt already had another guy he liked. An older, British guy. “Th- That’s good. I’m glad you realize that Blaine’s not your only option.”

“I don’t think I can talk about that right now. I’m trying to focus on today and tomorrow.”

“Right. Sorry.”

Before Kurt could say anything, he remembered that he hadn’t turned his phone back on or let his dad know that he had arrived safely. He hopped up and powered his phone on, sent the text, and set it to silent. He didn’t look intentionally, but the 82 was pretty hard to miss on his missed texts. He got back down on the floor. “I forgot to tell my dad that we made it safely.”

“I haven’t even told my parents that I’m in here. They think I’m still arriving tomorrow morning.” 

“I just realized that you were asking whether or not they know that I called the engagement off. That didn’t register. I answered whether or not they knew I had called it off with him last fall. I just answered the wrong question. I would assume that they do know by now. It’s around 10:30, so there’s been plenty of time for the story to have made it through the gossip chain, but since my dad forbade Blaine from trying to contact me, there is also the chance that Blaine is laying low and that he didn’t tell anyone. On the other hand, Sam is Blaine’s best friend and he lives with my parents, so there’s a good chance that he knows by now.” 

He used the little hex bolt tool and kept working in silence for a while. 

“This is just such a mess. Things have been insane at the loft, so I need some place to re-find my sanity, but the girls don’t know how unhappy I was because I was just trying to keep them from killing each other a lot of the time. When you’re busy playing referee, there’s not much time to share your own feelings. They’re both going to be hurt that I moved out. They dropped their lives and went to Dalton today to do something they thought was nice. Unless Blaine paid for their tickets, which is super unlikely, they paid themselves. They clearly looked happy for me and Santana rarely does anything that isn’t self-serving. She’s going to be mad as hell that she spent her hard-earned money on a plane ticket to be there for me, only to come home to find out that I left. This is like every day of my life. You wonder how you get yourself into the position where you say ‘yes’ to a proposal you don’t want? This is how. You have so many self-serving people in your life that you try to keep happy, just so they don’t get mad at you, that in the end, instead of being a college student with your own dreams, you just turn into a plate spinner running up and down the row continually keeping the other people’s plates to keep them from falling until you’re so worn out that you can’t move anymore and all of the plates fall and crash. That’s where I am now.”

“All of those people depending on you to keep their plates spinning are wrong, you know? Whether or not you’ve been able to act on that knowledge, I just want to know whether you do actually realize that it’s their own responsibility to spin their own damn plates.”

Kurt looked up at him incredulously. “Besides my counselor at school, you’re the first person to ever say that to me. He says I take on responsibility that isn’t mine. He says that it’s not my job to try to keep my friends from floundering in their own mistakes. He actually says a lot of things that make sense that I just haven’t been able to apply to my life. Living with no privacy is hard and living in those conditions with a snoop like Santana is even harder. I think that no matter how things work out between me and the girls, I will be able to put into practice what the counselor is trying to teach me by living here without the constant pressure and lack of privacy.”

“What time do you work tomorrow?”

“From 11 until 8. I’ll be back by 8:30, I’d imagine. I have a History of Theatre paper to finish when I get back. I’ll just eat at the diner. I have a shopping list. I’ll add actually doing the shopping to my schedule somewhere.”

“My parents have a car here. I was planning to go get some food after the furniture and appliances have been delivered. I can get whatever you need while I’m there, if you leave me some money. Or you can pay me after you get home. Whatever works. I know that moving cut into your study time this weekend.”

Kurt wasn’t fond of accepting help from anyone, but he was trying not to reject everything Sebastian was offering. He was trying hard to be decent or he just was decent. Kurt hadn’t decided just yet. Sebastian was right, he really could use some more time. 

“Thank you.” Kurt gave Sebastian a small nod. “I’ll text you a list and pay you after.” He figured he could give him a basic list, and then hold off on going shopping until later in the week for the more complicated items.

Sebastian was surprised that Kurt agreed. “That works.”

Kurt tightened up the last hex bolt on the section they were working on. They moved and started on the next part. Sebastian’s mind went back to trying to put all of the pieces he had floating around in his mind together in some way that made sense.

“Earlier you said that Dave’s attempt was more your fault and not mine at all. What did you mean by that? You two weren’t even friends. How could it have been your fault in any way?”

Kurt sighed. “It’s not a very pleasant story.”

“I figured not, but I can’t make any of this make any sense. There’s obviously something or more than one piece of information that I don’t have.”

“He asked me out.” Kurt blurted out. “He asked me out on Valentine’s Day. I said no and turned him down.”

“So? What does that have to do with... you know?”

“There was a jock from his school at Breadstix and he saw us together talking on Valentine’s Day and made assumptions because of my gay face.” Kurt said with anger-laced words.

Sebastian figured that he wasn’t done and sat quietly, waiting for Kurt to continue.

“The guy went and told the rest of the jocks that we were on a date and that Dave was gay. When he went to school the next day, the jocks had painted ‘fag’ on his locker in the locker room. They attacked him viciously on his Facebook page. When he didn’t succeed, they told him to try again. I found some of this stuff out when I went to visit him in the hospital.”

“I still don’t see how that’s your fault. You were just there.”

“That day at Breadstix, I told him that I was still dating Blaine, but that I wanted to be friends with him. He called nine times between the day after we talked and the day he…” Kurt wiped his eyes. “I ignored all of his calls. I offered him friendship, and then I didn’t keep my end of the deal. If I had answered just one of those calls, he wouldn’t have been so alone and he wouldn’t have…”

Sebastian held his hand up to Kurt’s cheek to wipe one of the tears.

Kurt leaned into his touch. No one had ever understood how much guilt Kurt carried around over Dave’s attempt. “I could never figure out why Dave thought I was single, but he made Valentine’s Day really confusing. I thought he hated me, but then he was kind after he joined the Bully Whips, but Santana had him under her thumb, so I could never tell if the kindness was real, but it seemed genuine. And then he sent a week’s worth of Secret Admirer gifts, which I, of course, thought were from Blaine. When I found out that they weren’t, it was very confusing. I didn’t know what to say or do. Here was a guy that I thought hated me who had given me a week’s worth of gifts, asking me out in public when he wasn’t even out. That was incredibly brave, or dumb. But that was a lot to risk for me. I didn’t feel like I could just ignore him, so I said we could be friends, and then I didn’t keep my word. I’m not usually like that. The whole situation was just so hard. I didn’t know how to be friends with someone I didn’t think I had anything in common with who had bullied me for so many years. But I shouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t going to follow through.”

Sebastian didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t really good at comforting people, especially not Kurt since he seemed to annoy him so much of the time. 

“Come on.” Sebastian said, as he stood up. “ We still need something to sleep on tonight.”

Kurt sniffled and began to stand up as well. Sebastian offered him a hand and he gratefully accepted it. He leaned the headboard against his mattress and Sebastian held the foot board up and Kurt fastened the side rails on. Once he did the same thing on the other side, they unrolled the support slats. 

“Let’s move the mattress because the head of the bed is going on the wall it’s leaning against.” Kurt was still fighting tears from the myriad of emotions flowing through him.

Once it was in place, they took the plastic off the mattress and put it on the frame. Kurt opened the box with the bed linens. Sebastian was still stuck on Dave. Kurt was still leaving something out. 

“Earth to Sebastian.”

“What?”

“The mattress pad. Pull it over the edge on your side.”

“Right.” Sebastian began to get the pieces to the puzzle in place in his mind so that the image began to make sense. Dave liked Kurt. Dave thought Kurt was single. Dave had somehow come out to Kurt before. The death threat. It was from Dave. He threatened to kill Kurt if he told anyone that he was gay. “The death threat was from Dave, wasn’t it?” He blurted out.

Kurt wasn’t really paying attention to Sebastian as he was making the bed. ”Hm?”

“Dave threatened to kill you, didn’t he?” Sebastian repeated, his voice more steady and clear now.

Kurt paled. “What makes you think that?” he asked, after clearing his throat.

“He bullied you. You were one of the only people he came out to. Or you somehow figured it out yourself. He was afraid you were going to out him.”

“Actually, he threatened to kill me because we nearly outed him. Fine, I’ll tell you the whole story, but if you ever repeat this to anyone, I’ll never speak to you again.” He told him everything that had happened, starting with when he went to spy on the Warblers until the day he enrolled at Dalton. From there he skipped to when Santana conscripted Dave into being in the Bully Whips and he went back to McKinley. And then for extra drama, he told him about Junior Prom.

So Kurt wouldn’t feel like he was staring at him, Sebastian started flattening all of the boxes that had been emptied.

“Fuck, Kurt.” Sebastian said, after Kurt finally stopped speaking. “I had no idea.”

“I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to ruin your image of Dave.” Kurt bit his lip. “He really has changed since then.”

“I can’t believe you’re defending him.” he shook his head in disbelief. 

“I’m giving you a chance, aren’t I? If I never gave people who had been mean to me a chance to grow up and stop being jackasses, what kind of person would that make me?”

“It’s different.” Sebastian argued. “What he did is way worse.” Sebastian stopped arguing long enough to think about what Kurt had just said. Everyone in his life was someone who had been mean to him at some point in time from what Sebastian could tell. “Do you have any friends who have never been mean to you?”

“Adam.”

“Ah, yes of course.” Sebastian said bitterly. He wasn’t sure what he was upset about anymore. 

“He’s a really nice guy. The nicest person I’ve ever met.” Kurt continued, not catching onto Sebastian’s tone. “I really hope he wants to continue our friendship. I like him a lot and I want to be a better friend to him. I haven’t exactly treated him like I wanted to these past few weeks.

“Didn’t you say that you don’t have time for him?”

“I don’t. But don’t I deserve a friend? But to have one, I’m going to have to be one. I have to figure out how to make time or just walk away. I can’t just string people along.”

“Of course you do. Deserve a friend I mean.” he paused. “I could be a friend too.” he added hesitantly. He was super jealous of the idea that Kurt might like Adam as more than a friend, but he had to keep his opinions on that to himself because Kurt really did deserve a decent friend.

“Maybe. If you behave.” Kurt teased.

“No problem. I’d say I have been behaving today.”

“I will never forgive you that pink Lexus comment.” 

“It was hilarious - and necessary!” Sebastian protested. “I ran out of options.” 

“Fine, it was a little funny, but seriously, if you’re buying me a Lexus, I’d prefer black. It’s timeless and elegant.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He rolled his eyes. He picked up the stack of flattened boxes and slid them under Kurt’s bed. “We can figure out what to do with those later. I’m beat.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow. “It’s 11:30. Not really how I imagined Sebastian Smythe’s Saturday night.”

“Well, I  _ am _ spending the night in this hot guy’s bed. Seems like a good Saturday night to me,” he teased back.

“Good answer. I’ll allow you to sleep now.”

“Thank you, oh benevolent owner of the bed.”

“After you shower…”

“Yeah. About that. Water isn’t a problem, but I have no bathroom items with me since I had planned to arrive tomorrow morning and go shopping after I got here.”

“Oh, right. I didn’t empty my bathroom boxes yet. I’ll go do that. You can use my shampoo and body wash. I have a new toothbrush you can have too. I bought a 3-pack the last time.”

“Thanks.”

Kurt picked up one of the boxes and Sebastian grabbed the other. 

They started putting Kurt’s stuff out on the counter. One item in particular got Sebastian’s attention.

“Coconut, seriously?” he smirked and held up the bottle of body wash. 

“Yeah. Maybe it will mask the Craigslist smell.” 

“Very funny. What does Craigslist smell like anyway?”

“Eau de desespoir.”

Sebastian cackled. “Perfect. Wait. Earlier in the taxi, you understood me when I was speaking French.”

“Damn. You’re fast.” 

“Only if you want me to be…” 

Kurt sighed. “I thought we were past this.” 

“Past innuendo? What fun would that be?”

Kurt didn’t answer his question. “I’m going to shower.” He grabbed all the stuff he needed, including the body wash that Sebastian was still holding, hoping he would take the hint. 

Sebastian didn’t move.

“I said I was going to shower.”

“Go on then.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Sebastian, move please. I can’t shower with you standing there.”

“Would you rather me join you? I’m great at shower massages,” he teased. “After moving all of the furniture, I’m sure you could use a good massage.”

“I’d rather you move so I can go get my pajamas. If I need a massage, I’ll have to stuff it into my schedule somewhere on Monday, but thanks for the offer.”

“Your loss.” 

“I’m sure. Now, if you’ll please excuse me. I need to go get my pajamas.”

Sebastian stepped out of the way. 

“Thanks.” Kurt grabbed a set of pajamas. On the way back into the bathroom, he said, “You can use my towels too. I know yours need washed first.”

Sebastian sniffed and looked confused. “What do I smell?”

“Oh, I started cinnamon raisin bread earlier. You can have some for breakfast.” He closed the bathroom door.

Sebastian went into the kitchen. He sat down in one of the chairs and tipped his head back. He had so many thoughts swirling around in his mind that he couldn’t think clearly. He forced himself to drown it all out by counting backwards from ten. He took several deep breaths. He got up and went back to his room, grabbed a notebook from his backpack, and started to make a shopping list. 

When Kurt went into his room, Sebastian took his turn in the bathroom.

Kurt put his dirty clothes in the hamper in his closet and picked up his phone. He sat down at his desk and called Adam. He apologized for calling so late and gave him a brief overview of what had happened. He didn’t know what to expect, but he didn’t want to leave it untold. 

“So, just like that, he pulled together four bloody show choirs and a marching band and proposed to you?”

“Yes. And I said ‘yes’ and then an hour later said ‘no’. I didn’t want to be engaged to him, but how do you say ‘no’ in front of so many people?”

Adam finally realized the extent of Kurt’s ex’s hold on him. Kurt had someone to help to break free. Sebastian had just become Adam’s favorite friend of Kurt’s. “So, can you give me the address where you are now?”

“Not until Sebastian gets out of the shower. I’ll text it to you when I find out, probably not until morning. I have to work a double shift at the diner tomorrow, starting at 11. I’m exhausted. I’m going to go to sleep now.”

“You do that. Sweet dreams, Kurt. Hopefully, I’ll see you soon.”

“I’d like that,” he said before he disconnected. He plugged his phone in and got in bed. A few minutes later, Sebastian knocked gently.

“Come on in,” Kurt said. “Can you just leave the light on in the bathroom and mostly close the door? We’re both sleeping someplace new, and I’d rather not walk into something if I need to get up during the night.”

“Yeah, sure.” He stepped back out and came back wearing boxer briefs and a t-shirt.

“You’re not wearing pajamas,” Kurt said very seriously.

“I didn’t bring any. I thought I’d be sleeping in the flat alone. I was trying to pack light.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to work for me. Go back to your room or something. I’ll get you a pair of pajama pants.” Kurt got up and pulled a pair out and put it on the bathroom counter. “They’re in the bathroom.” He called out as he got back in bed.

“Better?” Sebastian asked when he came back.

“Much.”


	9. Chapter 9

Kurt woke up feeling more rested than he had in ages. Once he became fully conscious, he realized that he was the little spoon. Sebastian was currently on his side snuggled into his back and had his arm draped over Kurt’s chest. He gently picked Sebastian’s hand up from where it was laying on his chest and managed to scoot out and put it back on the bed gently without waking Sebastian up.

Not wanting to discuss how they woke up snuggled together and how nice it had actually felt to be held close like that, Kurt quickly got dressed in his work uniform in the closet. He grabbed his bag, stopped in the bathroom briefly, and went to the kitchen. He took a slice of the bread, put it on a napkin, covered the bread pan, and left. He opted to leave rather than do anything to wake Sebastian up. Once he got outside, he looked at the address on the building. He scarfed down his slice of bread by the time he got to the corner so he could write down the name of the street and send the address to Adam. 

Once he did that, he put in the address to figure out how to get to the diner. He found that he now lived on the Upper West Side, which made sense considering that Sebastian wanted to go to Columbia. He would have known the night before if he had been paying attention instead of zoning out on the drive from Ikea to the flat.

He determined that the Metro station at 103rd and Broadway was the closest. He headed that way on foot. Once he was on the train, he listened to music, did a little reading, and went through his agenda for the week during the 25-minute ride, which was 20 minutes shorter than he was used to. He went to a coffee shop nearby and ordered a cheap coffee and sat down at a small table to work on his paper. He packed everything up in time to walk to the diner. 

When he got closer, he was surprised to see Adam standing outside waiting for him. A wide smile, encompassing his eyes, lit up his whole face. As soon as Kurt was close enough, Adam opened his arms and offered him a hug, which he happily accepted.

“Good morning, Kurt.”

“Hey, Adam. Have you eaten? Or do I get the pleasure of being your chorus boy waiter today?”

“Tell me which section is yours.” Adam followed him inside.

“I’m not sure yet, let me go clock in and find out.” Kurt went in the back, left his bag in his locker, checked the schedule, came back out, and pointed to the front corner of the room.

Adam sat at a table in Kurt’s section. 

Kurt put his apron on, grabbed a pad and pencil, and went to take his order. They chatted on and off for the two hours that Adam stayed at the diner, which made Kurt's morning shift much more enjoyable.  


* * *

Sebastian woke up about an hour after Kurt had left. In an attempt to get on Kurt’s good side, he made the bed as neatly as he could. He went out to the kitchen and sliced off a piece of the homemade bread he had been looking forward to. He picked his phone up from the counter where he had left it charging and saw a single text from Kurt, which was his shopping list. 

The only other text was from his mom, telling him that they would meet him at the apartment at noon. That left Sebastian not quite three hours to figure out how to explain that he was letting Kurt live in the flat.

* * *

The appliances showed up right on time at 10:00. An hour later, everything had been installed. Sebastian looked around and was pleased with the stainless steel choices he had made. He had no idea how Kurt would like his food and items organized, but he opened one upper cabinet and put all of Kurt’s dishes on the lower shelf and filled the shelf above it with Kurt’s food. He put the bread maker in a lower cabinet. He spent the whole time mulling over in his mind how to explain this situation to his parents without violating the trust Kurt had extended to him. He also realized that he hadn’t purchased any utensil trays or any kitchen items. He made a mental note to start a new shopping list. 

Sebastian’s phone began to ring. He picked it up and it was the furniture delivery drivers verifying that he was there. A few minutes later, he let them in. They carried everything in and began assembling the bed frame.

When they hadn’t brought up the mattress, Sebastian questioned them.

“Oh, man, I thought someone told you. The one you wanted is out of stock at our location, but our manager is getting one sent from another store first thing tomorrow morning. Sorry about that.”

“No problem.” Sebastian said politely, even though it was definitely a problem. He didn’t know how he would convince Kurt to spend another night in the same bed. 

“Hey, man. Don’t worry, we’re not charging you for the delivery tomorrow. And the manager said for us to assemble this for you for making you wait until tomorrow for the bed.”

“Great. I appreciate that.” He was trying to keep it polite because it wasn’t the delivery guy’s fault.

Sebastian wondered if he should text Kurt and tell him about the issue, so he wouldn’t get upset when he got back home from work. He pulled out his phone, but then thought about making him upset while he was at work. He realized that if Kurt was actually upset, he’d just sleep on the couch. 

The delivery guys left and Sebastian looked at his new furniture. He wondered if Kurt would like what he had picked. He thought there was a good chance because Kurt had that huge Mid-Century-ish wall unit. Sebastian liked the clean lines and combination of warmth in the Mid-Century Modern bedroom suite he had chosen. 

He walked over to the couch and sat down, bouncing a little in his seat. He remembered that he needed to take one of the drawers with him, so he went and grabbed the smallest one. He felt like his mind was all over the place. He had just stepped back into the living room when he heard a knock at the door. He took a deep breath, sat the drawer near the sofa, and went to open the door. 

“Mom, Dad. Come in.”

“Good morning, Sweetie.” 

“It looks good,” his dad said as they walked through the kitchen. “Are you pleased?”

“Definitely. The ceiling-height cabinets give a lot of storage room and there’s enough counter space to prepare meals. And having the lower cabinets on the riser will keep me from breaking my back leaning over while cooking."

“I don’t remember you choosing a wall unit,” his mom said, as she stepped past the end of the kitchen wall. “And these are vintage chairs. I don’t remember seeing them at the store. They are lovely, though.”

“Um, yeah. It’s not mine. And neither are the chairs.”

“Not yours? That doesn’t make any sense,” his dad said. “This place had nothing in it.”

“Let’s sit down.”

All three of them walked over to the couch and sat down, making themselves comfortable. 

“So,” Sebastian started. “There’s something you should know.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I offered to let someone stay here until I move here in June.”

His parents looked rightfully concerned.

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s not a random stranger. He’s from Ohio. Kurt Hummel.”

“Oh, okay,” his dad said. “Burt’s a good guy, but why is Kurt going to live here?”

Before he got a chance to answer, there was a knock at the door again.

His mom said, “Oh, that will be the food I ordered, but now that we’re here I remember that you didn’t find a table you liked.” She laughed at herself. She got up to answer the door. She took the box and tipped the delivery guy. “At least I ordered pizza.”

Sebastian sat on the floor, letting his parents sit in the chairs.

“So, I’m not exactly sure what to say. Let’s see. The short version is that he needs a place to stay long enough to find a place to stay because his name is still on his current lease, so he can’t afford to rent two places at once. He needs to get someone to take over his part of the lease and look for a new place. I said he could stay here.”

“I didn’t know you two were friends.” Sebastian’s dad said after a minute of silence. 

“I’m working on that part still, but I trust him and I know he won’t cause any problems living here.”

His mom looked at him with her eyebrow raised. “There’s more to this, but this place is yours. If you trust him, then that’s that I suppose.”

“He’s not a complete stranger. We’re acquaintances. We met last year.”

None of them said much as they ate, but once they finished, his mom got up and went to look in the bedroom at the furniture he had chosen. Sebastian followed her.

“The mattress is missing.”

“It’s being delivered tomorrow.”

“Where are you going to sleep tonight, then?”

“The couch.” He changed the subject quickly. “When we were at Ikea yesterday, I saw this wall-mount system that I liked. That’s what’s in the boxes. And I’m going to go with that along this wall. I’m going to stain it to match the furniture.”

“Wait, yesterday?”

Sebastian swallowed. “Um, yeah. I kinda arrived yesterday. I changed my flight so I could help Kurt move out of the loft he was living in before his roommates get back today.”

His mom nodded. “Where did you sleep last night? The couch was delivered today.”

“In Kurt’s bed. He was kind enough not to make me sleep on the floor.”

She just went on as if she hadn’t already figured out that Sebastian liked Kurt. “So, no desk?”

“It has a desk as part of the system. I do still need a chair. I didn't think about that yesterday.”

“So, are we ready to get the rest of what you need?” his dad asked when he came out of the bathroom and peeked into the bedroom. “And by we, I mean you and your mom and grandma. Grandpa and I are going to meet up with some old friends.”

“Sure. Let’s go.”

* * *

At 3:55, Santana entered the diner, boldly. She spoke to no one specifically, but her target audience was obvious. “It’s such a shame that someone broke into the loft and took a  _ third _ of the stuff.”

He ignored her.

“Especially after the other  _ two-thirds _ of us flew all the way to  _ freaking _ Ohio yesterday.”

Kurt continued ignoring her, but he could feel some people look in his direction. 

She didn’t take the hint. “Prince Charming throws the most over-the-top  _ perfect _ proposal, and then you vanish. And then, we come back and your stuff has vanished.”

Kurt took his customer’s order to the back and grabbed Santana’s wrist on the way. “Enough. We’re at work. This is a private matter, not something for you to blast me with in public. I didn’t take anything of yours and I left you the sofa, which is mine by the way.”

”You took my pillow.”

“It’s _ my _ pillow. We’ve already  _ had _ this conversation. If you want to still be employed, get your apron on and start taking orders. We can talk after we get off at 8, if you want. But stop airing our private issues out there.”

Kurt didn’t interact with her during their shift, and he texted Sebastian that he wouldn’t be back at 8:30 because he had Santana to deal with. They put their coats on and Kurt led her back to the coffee shop he had spent time in that morning. Once they had their drinks, which he paid for, they sat down.

“So,” Kurt started. 

“Where did you go after the proposal? You just kinda vanished, and then the next thing we know, your dad and Blaine were gone. And then nothing. We came back to find you and your stuff missing from the loft.” 

“I had to leave to catch my flight. I had some help to move into a short-term place when I got here. I need a break. I need peace and quiet. I work two jobs and go to school full time. I can’t handle the stress at the loft. Would you like to take over my part of the rent and have my room to yourself? No more sleeping on the couch. Well, as soon as you get a mattress anyway.”

“I’ll think about it. Isn’t Gelmet planning on moving in?”

“He and I have not discussed his New York City living arrangements. He hasn’t actually gotten any acceptance letters yet.” 

“I suppose not. It’s too early for those to be sent out. I’ll make it easy for now. I’ll pay your half - for now, but I’m not sure that I’m interested in staying past the end of the school year. If Blaine moves out here in June and plans to move into the loft, I’m not seeing how the four of us can cohabitate with only two bedroom areas. I’m not sharing with Berry.”

Kurt nodded. She obviously didn’t know they had broken up and took his statement about short-term to mean that he would move back into the loft at the end of the school year. He decided to leave it that way. He knew she’d find out eventually, but he really needed to go finish his paper and not get into his personal life with Santana, who was a frenemy at best, still.

“I’m not sure what I’m doing this summer anyway, whether he moves in or not, but it gives me two months to figure it out. And it gives you two months to not pay rent on the loft.”

“Good enough for now. I don’t have room for the sofa now, but it is mine. Just because I left it behind doesn’t mean I’m giving up my claim to it.”

“I appreciate you leaving it. I need somewhere to sleep.”

“That’s why I left it. Unless there’s something else we need to settle right now, I need to go. I have paper to finish that’s due tomorrow.” 

She shook her head and stood up. 

He stood as well.

“I’ll bring my share of the March rent to work tomorrow.”

“Thanks.”

Kurt walked away feeling uneasy about how the conversation had gone. Dealing with Santana was never that easy.

* * *

Kurt arrived 30 minutes later than he had intended to, plus he had skipped eating after his shift ended. He knocked on the door and waited for Sebastian to answer. When he stepped inside, Sebastian reached into his pocket and pulled out two keys and gave them to Kurt.

“Now, I don’t have to get up from watching TV to let you in.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Thanks.” he said, studying the keys he was holding. He slipped them both onto his key ring and went straight to the kitchen sink and washed his hands.

“What you wanted is in the fridge and in the cabinet to the right of the fridge. I put all of your food and plates in there.”

“Thanks.” He opened the fridge and pulled out the carton of eggs and the cheese. He heated up a small skillet and made himself an egg sandwich. While he was cooking, he noticed the addition of some small appliances and a few other things. He poured himself a glass of orange juice and ate standing at the counter. Rather than put the few things he had used in the dishwasher, he washed them quickly and put them back. “The place looks good. I like that Mid-Century inspired console the TV is sitting on,” he said, when he finished eating. “I’m going to shower quickly because I smell like the diner.” 

Fifteen minutes later, Kurt came out of his room. He was nosy and peeked into Sebastian’s room to see what kind of furniture he had picked out. He stepped into the living room. “You seem to have no bed, but I love the Mid-Century vibe your room has going on. Very nice.”

“Thanks, I picked it myself. About the bed, there was a small problem. It won’t arrive until tomorrow. I can sleep on the couch.”

“Don’t worry about it. You can sleep with me, if you want.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, but I have at least an hour’s work to finish my paper that’s due tomorrow morning. I worked on it before I went in to work, but I still need to polish it. Adam was waiting for me at the diner. It was a nice surprise.”

“Oh, really? Nice indeed.” Internally he cringed every time he heard Kurt say something nice about Adam because he really did sound like a nice guy, but he didn’t want Kurt to  _ like _ Adam. He kept the pleasant look on his face by remembering that Kurt was in his apartment and he would be sleeping in Kurt’s bed, not Adam.

“He told me about an audition he got for this week. He’s getting down to the wire to find something besides being a barista. He’s graduating in six weeks.”

“I hope he gets the part if it’s what he wants.”

“Oh, he will. Adam’s brilliant.”

Sebastian kept his groan to himself and changed the subject. “I’ll just take a shower and go back to watching what I was and you can work on your paper. You can just let me know when you’re done.”

“Oh, before I do that,” Kurt didn’t finish, but left the room and came right back. He handed Sebastian some cash and another pair of pajama pants. “That should cover the groceries you picked up for me. I really appreciate it. You saved me a lot of time, which I don’t have much of these days.”

“Oh, you’re welcome.” He looked at the cash Kurt handed him. “This won’t cover it though.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow. “Really? How much more do I owe you?”

“Another slice of cinnamon raisin bread and the pleasure of your company for breakfast tomorrow? I’m not sure if you noticed, but there is a lovely coffee machine now, and I bought fresh ground coffee.” He genuinely smiled at Kurt, hoping he'd agree.

“Deal.”


	10. Chapter 10

Sebastian was woken up when it was way too dark outside by someone shaking his shoulder. He snuggled down into the bed. 

“Sebastian, you wanted to have breakfast with me. You need to get up. I have to leave soon.”

Kurt had already cut two slices of bread and had already made coffee in the new machine. Two bowls of fruit and yogurt sat on the counter. He didn’t have time for Sebastian to be cute. 

“What time is it?” Sebastian slurred sleepily.

“It’s time to get up. I already have everything ready to eat. Come up. Up and at ’em.”

“It’s dark outside.”

“You can sleep. I’ll put yours in the fridge.”

Sebastian made an unhappy noise, but started getting up. “We had a deal.” 

“We did. And I’m keeping up my end of it.”

Sebastian followed him to the kitchen. “Oh, you didn’t have to make me yogurt, but thanks.” He picked his bowl up and sat down in a chair to eat it. 

“It goes well with the bread.”

Sebastian nodded approvingly. “I’m going to go out and look at tables again today. I’m looking for a drop leaf table. That way it won’t be in the way when we’re not eating. I’m not sure where to look because I’d like one to go with the white.”

“I’ll text you some places to try on my break between classes.”

“Thanks, that’d be great.” Sebastian said. “Have you seen a lot of the City?”

“Not really.” He kept the part about how he had put most of it on hold after the breakup because they had planned to see the sights together. “Have you?”

“I’ve seen some. It’s a big city. I plan to explore a lot more this summer.”

“I hate to eat and run, but I need to turn in a change of address and not be late to Miss July’s class. I’m not interested in a derogatory nickname. I’ve avoided one for half the semester.”

“Yes, of course. Thanks for this,” he gestured at the counter. “It’s way better than yesterday morning.”

Kurt looked perplexed, not knowing what had happened the previous morning. “You’re welcome. I need to run. I’ll text you the furniture stores and second-hand places I know of. You might find something vintage that would go along with your Mid-Century stuff, but still go with the white modern kitchen. Maybe something with chrome legs to go with the stainless appliances.” Kurt grabbed both of his bags from his room and headed to the door. “See you later. Probably tonight.”

Kurt shut the door, leaving Sebastian alone in the apartment. Sebastian went to get his phone to find out what time it was, so he could decide whether to go back to sleep or not.

After checking the time and deciding that it was way too early to do anything else, Sebastian headed back to Kurt’s bed, hoping that he’d get at least some more sleep before he had to meet up with his family. 

Two hours later, he was awakened by knocking on his door. He got up, barely awake enough to see where he was walking and looked through the peephole. He saw a man in a jumpsuit.

“I didn’t order anything,” he said through the door.

“Is this Sebastian Smythe’s place? We got a call to come finish the cable and internet hookups.”

Sebastian groaned and opened the door to let him in. He sat on the couch and watched the guy, mostly, while still halfway between awake and asleep. 

The job was done rather quickly. Or at least it seemed to be with Sebastian napping.

“Dude, wake up. I need you to sign this form that I did the work.”

Sebastian sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Oh, yeah. Sure.” He took the pen and signed. He followed the guy to the door and locked it after he left. He started a pot of coffee and headed to the bathroom, thinking that his only hope was a shower and a large cup of coffee.

When Sebastian stepped out of the bathroom, in just a towel, somebody was knocking on the door again and was being quite persistent. 

“Oh, come on!” He looked through the peephole. He opened the door without asking any questions. He stepped behind the door and told them which room to put it in. He gave them enough of a head start to grab the pajama pants he had been wearing before he showered.

Two guys carried the bed to his room. Once his bed was unwrapped and on his bed frame, he thanked the delivery guys and they left. He relocked the door and headed for his room to get dressed. Before he managed to get his shoes on, his phone beeped with a text. His parents were there already. He grabbed his wallet, locked the door on the way out, and ran down the stairs to meet them to head to NYU for his campus visit.

* * *

Kurt managed to make it to Miss July’s class with ten minutes to spare. He began to warm up and stretch. He did his best to relax and focus, but he still had a lot on his mind. Miss July entered and the class got started right as Rachel had managed to put her shoes on. She hadn’t warmed up and class didn’t go well for her. Miss July called her out several times. She packed up quickly and headed into the showers as soon as class ended. Kurt didn’t see her again until a couple of hours later when they both showed up early to help with the piano tuning, hoping to eat their lunches in peace before anyone else showed up.

Rachel approached him when she saw him sitting in the corner of the room in one of the window seats. “Mind if I sit here?”

“It’s fine.”

“I don’t…” she stopped. “Cassie July still hates me.” She sighed. She took out a bottle of tea and took a drink.

“You showed up late. You weren’t warmed up. You didn’t perform at your best level. Of course, she was going to say something. You know her.”

“I know. I know. I’m just so confused. Why did you run off? You said ‘yes’ and then disappeared. We came back and your stuff was just gone. No note, no text, no call. How could you just move out without saying anything?”

“What was there to say? There’s just not room for the three of us in the loft. You and Santana are at each other all the time. I’m tired of being the referee. I work two jobs and I’m taking two extra classes. I got permission to start in the same dance class you’re in, but if I don’t get an A, I have to take the class from the fall this summer.” 

“Why didn’t you tell us that you were unhappy?”

“You don’t listen.”

“I do.”

“You know that’s not true. You hear what you want to hear and it’s not what I’m saying. That’s how we ended up facing off in Midnight Madness.”

She looked down. “I’m not going to get Fanny. If I was, I would have heard by now.”

“Give it time, Rachel. Broadway doesn’t move lightning fast. You better eat.” 

Other people started coming into the room and choosing a piano to work on. Random notes rang out through the room. 

Once they finished, Kurt followed Rachel over to where someone was already working on one of the pianos. “Rachel, you have lost your mojo obsessing over this part. We can’t let our feelings of self-worth be determined by some part in a play. I’m telling you - you’ve got to get your mojo back. Right here. Right now. This second.” He started to sing. 

The person at the closest piano joined in and he got Rachel back in the groove with an impromptu singing of “Get Back”. 

They left after working on one of the pianos together, both feeling lighter than they had before the song. 

Kurt wondered how much longer it would be until Rachel found out that he and Blaine weren’t together anymore.

* * *

Kurt was sitting outside in the courtyard reading his History of Theatre assignment, enjoying the sun even though he was bundled up when his cell phone began to ring. He so rarely got actual phone calls that he jumped up to get it out of his coat pocket more easily. He saw that it was Sam and answered. His heart dropped to the floor, assuming the worst. 

“Sam? Is there something wrong with my dad?” 

“No. No. He’s fine. That’s not why I’m calling.” Sam was out on the football field bundled up as well, underneath one of the bleacher sections away from everyone.

“Well, that’s a relief. You scared me half to death. You’ve not called in so long. I couldn’t think of any other reason you’d be calling.”

Sam knew he was right, but it stung. “I wanted to apologize. Now I guess I should apologize for that too, huh?”

“You’re not making much sense. You called to apologize? For what?”

“I know what happened with Blaine. Carole told me. Along with some other stuff.” Sam answered.

“I still don’t know what you’re apologizing for. And I figured she would or my dad would. You live with them.”

“Yeah. So, they did.” Sam said awkwardly. 

“Look, Sam. You obviously had a reason to call me. What is it?” Kurt had reading to do and he was losing his patience with Sam’s hem hawing.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry for being, like, distant over the past few months. And for picking Blaine over you.”

“Oh. Don’t worry about it. That’s just how things go. What’s mine became his and what’s his stayed his. He got everything I had wanted. It is what it is.”

“Hey, no. Stop. This is on me. You were my friend first. You let me live in your house. And gave me clothes. And I just… I don’t know how to explain it. I just was really alone. Your parents are nice, but they’re gone a lot. Finn was gone. I didn’t really hit it off with the new kids. They were like 15 and 16. I was repeating my senior year. Blaine was just so enthusiastic. He, like, gave me something to focus on besides missing everyone who graduated and my family. He was this big distraction.” 

“Yeah, I get the loneliness. I was here with Rachel. And Blaine was lonely enough in two weeks' time that he cheated on me.”

“He was really beating himself up for it, you know.”

“Good. He should have. He blamed me. He told me it was my fault. That I wasn’t there for him. I called, Skyped, texted… every day. We watched TV shows together. I broke the rules at my job and talked to him at work. Two weeks. I’m not enough. I’m never enough.”

“Kurt, no. Stop that.”

“You know that he doesn’t actually give a crap about _Star Wars_ , right? To my knowledge, he had never even seen the movies before last fall. You say he was a distraction. You were a distraction. He picked up your hobbies in order to get your attention. He might actually like that stuff now, but he had never once mentioned anything geeky or nerdy. He didn’t own any sci fi movies or comic books unless he was hiding them somewhere out of sight.”

“Why would he do that?” Sam asked curiously. “Is that, like, a thing he does?”

“Take what’s mine? You mean? Yes, it’s a ‘thing’ he does.” Kurt stopped. “I have no interest in discussing this. Go ahead with why you called me.”

“Right. So, like, Burt and Carole told me about your breakup. And I get it. I mean I guess I didn’t think about how big of a deal it really was because I thought your parents knew all along. And they didn’t make a big deal of it. Blaine came over for Friday Night dinners. He hung out at the house. He went to see you at Christmas. Your dad took him. I thought like… like they weren’t treating him any differently, so I thought you two were going to get back together once he moved to New York, but then he got it in his head to get you back at Regionals and propose to you. It seemed like something you’d like. I remember those old movies you love with the huge musical numbers and people dancing on staircases and whatnot.”

Kurt sighed. “They are movies. How many times do I have to say that?”

“I know. I know. But I just… Blaine was so enthusiastic. Anyway. I called to say I’m sorry that I helped him and I’m sorry that I let myself be drawn away by his excitement. Looking back, he was just trying to fill the same void I was. Everyone we were friends with left. I’m honestly sorry. You were my first real friend here and I blew that.”

“Yeah. You really did.” Kurt agreed. “I accept your apology. Just, Sam? Please make some better friends.”

“I was kinda hoping you’d take me back.” He bit his lower lip and sighed. “I’m done with Blaine. After talking to Carole, she helped me see a lot of things that I hadn’t. She’s a good listener. You’re better, but she’s good.”

Kurt smiled. “I’ve missed you. Of the things he’s taken from me, losing you was right at the top of the most hard to deal with. You were my first friend that was a guy. Most of the things he took, I can’t get back. But I’d love to count you as a friend again.”

“Really? Awesome! I need to get out of here, but I only applied to one college that I don't think I really have any chance of getting into.” 

“Well, what I found out too late last year is that a lot of places have rolling admission, which means that as long as they haven’t already accepted as many students as they have places for, you can apply until all of the places are filled.”

“That’s cool, but my grades suck.”

“Get some good references and apply to community colleges. Build your skills for a year, so you’ll be ready to move on if you want.”

“I do. I really do.”

“Some of the state schools here wouldn’t cost you anymore than going to OSU. I just had my head in the wrong place the fall of my senior year. I actually applied to a few last fall in case I didn’t get into NYADA. I applied to FIT and Parsons too. It’s too early to have heard back from any of them.” He remembered that he hadn’t been to the post office to change his address yet.

“Wow, dude, that’s amazing! But you already got into NYADA.”

“I did, but I didn’t know whether I would when I sent the applications in last fall.”

“Yeah, but like, what if you get accepted? Are you gonna stay at NYADA or...?”

“It’s so expensive. I just don’t know. It’s hard to know what to do, but I’m not particularly enjoying working 40+ hours a week and going to school full time. So, if I get any acceptance letters, I’ll be faced with a choice I guess. I hadn’t really thought about them much honestly.”

“ Whatever you do just let me know, ok? I’ve been out of the loop too long.”

“Sure.”

“I was planning to come to New York with Blaine when he auditions for NYADA, but I’m not sure what to do now. I still need to go because I did apply for this one scholarship at Hunter College, but I don’t really think I have a chance of getting in. I’m not sure why they’re even asking to interview me.”

“I’m not asking you to dump him or take sides. If you still want to come to New York with him, then do it. If you try to completely cut him out of your life, it’s going to be hard. You have Nationals in what, six weeks?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. We are obviously not rehearsing yet. I haven't even seen Mr. Schue today.”

“I take it that Blaine hasn’t said anything to anyone about the breakup.”

“Not that I’ve heard, but I haven't seen him.”

“As expected.” Kurt rolled his eyes. 

“I’m pretty sure Tina’s onto something.”

“What do you mean?”

“Yeah, she’s noticed there’s something off with him because he's not responding to her texts. I wonder how long it’ll take for him to break.”

“Possibly by the end of lunch tomorrow at the latest if she’s already badgering him.”

“Yeah, she can be pretty intense.”

“I hate to cut this short, but I have to finish this reading assignment before my next class.”

“Right. I have to get back inside too. Call me when you have some free time. I know you’re busier than I am. I’ll look into that rolling admission thing you mentioned.”

“Thanks for calling.” 

Kurt disconnected the call and put his phone back into his pocket. He forced himself to push the conversation out of his mind so he could focus on his reading. 

* * *

Arthur, Nina, and Sebastian sat around the small table in the cafe they had chosen for lunch.

“So, what did you think of the physics department tour?” Nina asked.

“It was nice, but you already know that I want to go to Columbia.”

“Do you even want to continue with the full campus tour this afternoon?” Arthur asked, hoping that he’d say no and save him from having to schlep around listening to one of the students try to convince Sebastian to attend NYU.

“Now, Art, you know we came to give both schools a fair shot.”

Sebastian and his dad looked at each other knowingly. 

“Mmm hmm, dear” Art said, trying to keep a straight face.

“You know I love you, Mom. And I know you love NYU, but I had 99% decided I wanted to go to Columbia before I applied anywhere last fall.”

She sighed in defeat. “Alright. You should go where you want.”

“Columbia has an amazing physics department. You’ll see when we go on Wednesday. Plus, I’ll get a lot of credits for my AP exams, provided that I get 5s again this year. I’ll be able to graduate and start on my Master’s a whole year early.”

“I’m sure that NYU does that as well, honey. But I said I would quit trying to convince you. Just because I loved it there doesn’t mean that you would.”

Art said, “We could hit up some of those places on that list Kurt gave you. Then you’d have some place to eat if we can find a table you like.”

Sebastian realized how desperate his dad was to not tour NYU if he was offering to go furniture shopping to get out of the tour.

He smiled and chuckled. “Sure, Dad. After we finish eating, we can go look for a table.”

* * *

Santana was already done with work for the day, but she had one more thing planned for the evening. She changed quickly out of her uniform and waited outside to find out where Kurt was living. 

About an hour later, the man in question stepped out of the diner and headed down the street, not noticing her hiding in the shadows. Perfect. 

He was walking circumspectly, so she had to work to stay out of his line of sight while maintaining a close enough distance to not get separated easily. She would have had an easier time if he weren’t so tense about having so much cash on him.

A few minutes later, Santana realized where Kurt was heading. He was walking towards the subway station. She waited down the platform to see which line he was getting on and got in one door down from him. Rather than sit, she stood on the same side he sat on. That way she could see when he exited.

Once they were both surface level again, she was glad for her choice of a navy NYU hoodie she had borrowed from one guys that worked at her other job. It was oversized enough to keep her face hidden. She followed Kurt without him spotting her and she took down the address of the building he went in. She took off for the subway station and made the long trek back to the loft.

* * *

Kurt unlocked the door to the flat and heard voices coming from the living room after he stepped inside. He walked through the kitchen and found himself facing two adults he assumed were Sebastian’s parents. He freaked out internally, not knowing what Sebastian had told them, if anything.

“Hey, Kurt. Do you want something to eat? We just finished and there are plenty of leftovers. Mom ordered enough Indian food for ten people and there were only five of us.”

“Sure. Thanks.” He washed his hands. “I think I’ll shower and change first, though if that’s okay. I hate smelling like the diner.” He looked around. “The table you found looks great with the green sofa. I can’t believe you found one in just one day that’s got a green and gray pattern on white formica. It usually takes several trips to find something that matches so perfectly.” _ Like the sofa matches your eyes_, he caught himself thinking. 

“I’ve just got great skills.” 

“Mmm hmm.”

“Sebastian, are you going to introduce us to your friend,” his mother hinted.

“Oh, right. I’m sorry. Kurt, this is my mom, Nina Smythe and my dad Arthur, but people call him Art.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Smythe.”

“You too, dear,” Nina said. “I’m glad Sebastian was able to help you out with your housing issue. I know how hard that can be around here. It can take a while to find someplace decent.”

“Oh, I’m glad too. I honestly don’t know what would have happened if he hadn’t. Well, I do, but it wouldn’t have been pleasant. I would have just been stuck where I was.” He walked towards his room. “Thanks for dinner. I’ll be back out in a bit.” Kurt grabbed some clothes from his closet and went into the bathroom. 

Art said, “We’ll get going. We’ll see you bright and early tomorrow.” He stood up.

“Not too bright or early, Dad. I’ll meet you at the MET when it opens.”

Nina teased him. “You can wow your grandma and grandpa with all of your art history knowledge.” She got up and followed Art to the door. 

“I’ll do what I can. I’m sure I can’t out-trivia Grandma. She was an art history professor.”

“She’ll appreciate the effort.” Nina said on the way out.

“I’m sure she will.” 

Sebastian closed and locked the door. He remembered that his bed had been delivered and he’d have to sleep in it. He sighed. He had washed the pajamas that Kurt had loaned him. He went to put a pair on and waited in the living room for Kurt to get out of the shower.

He didn’t have to wait long. Kurt came out in jeans and hoodie, which seemed so un-Kurt-like, but he liked it. 

“Please help yourself to whatever you want. I’ll be eating leftovers until it’s all gone.”

Kurt made himself a plate and sat down at the new table. Sebastian got up and sat with him.

“How was your campus tour?” 

“It was nice enough, but I got Mom to finally understand that I’m sure about Columbia, so we skipped the walking tour and went table hunting.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you're certain about your school choice. I know it’s a struggle for most people.”

“Yeah, I’ve known I wanted to go to Columbia for a couple of years now. I applied to the other schools, you know, just in case.”

“Smart move. Sam called today at lunch and we talked about college choices. I guess he applied to a place called Hunter College. I don’t know anything about it.”

“Wait, weren’t Blaine and Sam like bffs? They once dressed in some weirdass costumes and snuck into Dalton to get their trophy back.”

“He was my friend first, and he lives with my family. I guess Carole sat him down and had a long talk with him. He apologized for his role in what went on and he wants to be friends again.”

“I dunno. Sounds kinda suspicious to me.”

“Not everybody’s plotting against me, Sebastian. Pretty sure it was just you.”

Sebastian got up from the table to go to his room.

“Sebastian, wait. Please?”

He turned back.

“I’m sorry. I’m trying and failing. I keep being a smartass to you. You’re right that I should be more cautious, but when the first person who ever wanted to be my friend apologizes and wants to be friends again, it’s hard not to just take him back with open arms. I’ve missed him. I lived with him for over ten months. He was more of a brother to me than Finn has been.”

“Okay, I guess. I don’t know him, like, at all. I’m just not sure what to think about his connection to Blaine.”

“Which is nonexistent now.” Kurt reassured him. “He told me he’d rather be my friend. He’s on Team Kurt now.”

“Good. I’m the Team Kurt team leader, though,” he teased.

Kurt smiled. “Of course you are.”

Sebastian smiled and sat back down.

Kurt looked over Sebastian’s shoulder towards the still barren windows. “If you haven’t ordered curtains from somewhere, I could offer my services.”

“You already work two jobs.”

“I also do alterations for a side job, for extra money to spend on non-bill related purchases.”

“Well, you can send me your going rates.” He winked at Kurt.

Kurt’s eyes flashed, but then he laughed and shook his head.


	11. Chapter 11

Tuesday morning, Kurt ate a quick breakfast with Sebastian because he had asked again. He had gotten up early on his own and made Kurt coffee. When Kurt left the building, he didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Santana sat leaned back against the building across the street down a half-block until Kurt had crossed the street. She moved down and sat directly across from the building listening to music on her phone until she spotted Sebastian leaving the building at 9:00.

“The criminal chipmunk? No way,” she said quietly. She had assumed that Kurt had moved in with someone from NYADA. She waited until he was out of her sight and headed towards the building to see which apartment was Sebastian’s, all the while wondering why a high school student had a flat in NYC.

* * *

Tuesday afternoon, Kurt slipped into the Conde Nast building with just enough time to get to his office without being late. His classes had kicked his butt all day and he was running on fumes, but he made it on time. He flopped down in his chair and took a few deep breaths before turning his iPad on and sorting through his to-do list. He quickly prioritized it making sure that he walked past the coffee pot on his first errand.

The rest of the afternoon and evening passed in a blur of frantic activities. He changed as soon as his official work day ended and was ready to be Isabelle’s plus one to the gala she was attending. He sat at his desk reviewing who would be there and waited for her to come get him. He always enjoyed the limousine rides and the pageantry, even if he was working the whole time. He knew that he might never be invited to events like this, and if he ever was, it would be years in the future, so he enjoyed every minute he could in between doing his job.

When he finally made it back to Sebastian’s apartment, the lights were out and it was quiet. Fortunately, he had been allowed to eat at the gala, so he went straight to his room and stripped down. He showered and got ready for bed. Without even bothering to look at it, he plugged it in to charge it.

* * *

Blaine waited until a few minutes before rehearsal was set to begin on Wednesday before entering the choir room. He had successfully avoided Tina all afternoon, but she had been relentless earlier that morning. She knew something was wrong and was doggedly attempting to figure out what. He had overheard her asking Sam. He entered the room and sat on the opposite side from her. She got up and moved to sit behind him.

She leaned forward and kept her voice down.“Where were you all afternoon? I even checked the nurse’s office because you’ve been acting so weird I thought maybe you were sick since you missed school on Monday.”

“I just, I just needed some time to think.” Blaine tried his best to make his whisper sound angry. 

“Think about what?”

Blaine didn’t respond. 

“Does that mean you’ve set a date? Is that what you were thinking about?” she asked excitedly.

“Just leave it, Tina!” Blaine nearly yelled. “I don’t want to talk.”

Her tone changed quickly. “You were non-stop ‘Kurt this, Kurt that. Help me get Kurt back. Help me propose to Kurt.’ And we did. And now, you’re just acting like someone ran over your cat. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Blaine was saved by the fact that Mr. Schuester walked into the room and clapped his hands. “I’m sorry I missed school Monday. You all did a great job at Regionals and we’re headed to Nationals. And you all pulled off a fantastic flash proposal over the weekend. It was truly amazing to see four rival groups pulling together for such an elaborate proposal. Good job, guys!”

Blaine groaned silently. 

It was so very unlike Blaine to pass up an opportunity to publicly preen while shyly pretending to not bask in public adulation that both Tina and Kitty took notice. Tina frowned. Kitty leaned forward and raised an eyebrow while giving him her patented HBIC exasperated look.

Mr. Schue seemed a little confused when Blaine didn’t say anything, but he moved on quickly. “Since spring break is next week, I thought we’d have a fun week and have one of our famous girls against boys competitions. And to make it extra challenging, your song needs to be from the ‘40s or ‘50s.”

Kitty groaned. “We, like, just had The Beatles week for two weeks. And that was enough lousy British accents and gays creaming their pants to last a lifetime.”

“Enough Kitty. Glee Club is about expanding your musical horizons too. The ‘40s and ‘50s have so much to offer.” He went on and the whole room tuned him out for the next ten minutes. They all realized they hadn’t been paying attention about the same time when they heard him speaking louder. “I meant to go ahead and move _now_ and start looking for songs. You need to be ready to perform them on Friday.” 

Kitty rolled her eyes. She got up to move, but she noticed that Blaine was still staring off into space. “Did Kurt already send you his boudoir photos? You’ve been out of it for the last two days? _Move._ ”

“Shut up, Kitty,” he snapped back at her.

“Oh, is Kurt too ‘refined’ for boudoir photos? Is that what’s got you in a mood?”

“I said shut up! Just go sit with the girls and leave me alone.”

“Dude, not cool,” Jake said. “You’ve been rude to, like, everyone. We gave up our Friday and Saturday to help you with your perfect proposal. The least you could do would be to not be so dickish to everyone.”

Blaine took a deep breath. He pulled his phone out to find a song. “This is stupid.” 

“Well, yeah. That’s not new. What’s new is  _ you _ thinking it’s stupid,” Ryder said. 

Artie said, “Yeah, I’d think a ‘50s song would appeal to your inner Warbler. You know, you on lead with the rest of us harmonizing in the background.”

Sam said nothing.

Tina wasn’t paying attention to Unique offering song suggestions at all. She was watching Blaine. She leaned forward and backed Artie up. “Yeah, Blaine. Since when did you not jump in and offer to be the lead on a doo-wop?”

Blaine’s eyes flashed, and he finally lost control of his temper. “I just don’t feel like it.”

Tina kept it up. “Let’s take Blaine to the nurse because he’s obviously sick.”

“Yeah, sick of you all not minding your own business.”

“You’ve made us part of your business for ages,” Kitty sassed back. “We _tried_ staying out of your business. You shoved it down our throats. You drove us all over the greater northern Ohio area last week to assemble even more people to be part of your business. Now, you’ve been sulking for two days. Kurt not put out before he left town?”

“Just shut up about Kurt, okay? I thought I made it clear I don’t want to talk.”

Kitty didn’t back down. Annoying him was just too much fun. “Didn’t Kurt get you a ring? You’re the one who couldn’t seem to remember you were unavailable last fall.”

“No.”

Tina pushed. “Why not? I thought you were all for equality.”

“Neither one of us is wearing a ring, so how’s that for equality?”

“That makes no sense. We all saw you put a ring on it,” Jake said. 

“Why wouldn’t Kurt be wearing his?” Tina was totally confused.

“Wait, what?” Unique chimed in. “We were all there. We did not mass hallucinate 60 people singing and you asking Kurt to marry you and him saying 'yes'.” She paused. “Oh, my God. Kurt’s not dead is he?”

“ _What?_ ” Blaine looked at her like she had lost her mind.

“Is he in a coma?” Tina continued. “Is that why you’ve been so down? Wait, did Burt get more test results? Were the first ones wrong? Is his cancer back?”

“Kurt’s fine. So is Burt,” Sam stated matter-of-factly. 

Tina turned on him. “You _ know _ something. Spill!”

“I know that neither of them is dead or in a coma. I live with Burt and Carole, remember?”

“Whatever, I meant something about Kurt and Blaine.”

“He asked us to leave him alone. I did.”

“Thank you, Sam,” Blaine said. “At least one person did what I asked.” He huffed.

“I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for Kurt.”

Blaine turned and looked at him. He realized in that moment that Sam knew.

Kitty stood up. “This is ridiculous. I have homework. I’m leaving.”

Mr. Schue finally remembered that he was in charge. “Sit down, Kitty. Get back to work, all of you.”

The two groups quit interacting, but didn’t start working.

Blaine turned on Sam. “Some best friend you are.”

Sam ignored him.

Blaine continued. “You know, it’s been really hard, and I would expect you to be there for me.”

Sam looked through his phone. “Mr. Schue said to work on our assignment.”

“I can’t believe you’re being so callous.” His voice rose as he became more agitated. “Kurt broke it off with me for good and you’re more concerned about a stupid Glee assignment.”

Tina had still been eavesdropping. “Oh, my God, Blaine. He called it off?” 

Everyone turned to look at Blaine. He grabbed his stuff and stood up. “Fine. Now you all know. Neither of us are wearing rings because he’s not my fiance.” His diva storm-out rivaled Rachel’s.

Everyone was stunned into silence before the room broke out in quickfire assumptions and possible reasons. 

“Why would anyone  _ not _ want to marry Blaine?” Tina asked.

Most of them had only met Kurt a couple of times and didn’t really have anything to suggest as an answer.

Kitty said, “Why would anyone  _ want _ to marry Blaine? He’s 18 and in high school.”

Sam finally put a stop to it. “None of this helps anything. Kurt didn’t want to marry him obviously. The end.”

He and Tina got up. Tina went in search of Blaine and brought him back to the choir room to console him and build him back up. When she brought him back, Sam and Kitty were both gone and Mr. Schue had given up and was sitting at the desk in the room grading papers.

* * *

“I think I need an agent.” Santana said as she put the box she was carrying on the floor next to Rachel. “I guess those contracts I signed for those commercials said that I waived my right to residuals in exchange for a lifetime supply of Yeast-I-Stat.” She grabbed one of the boxes and scoffed. “Though I don’t know whose toxic vagina would need that much of that stuff. I mean, if you’re producing that much yeast, you should probably start a bakery.”

“Don’t complain, Santana. At least you’re doing something.” 

Santana rolled her eyes. “Stop whining, Berry. Soon you’ll be dumping us to play Fanny Brice.”

“Oh, no,” Rachel said. “That ship has sailed. If I got it, I would have heard by now. But it doesn’t matter. My whole life I’ve been looking to be part of something special to feel special, but the truth is that I am special, okay? And I don’t need producers to tell me that. I’m gonna play this part, and if it’s not in this production, then that is their loss.” 

Before Santana could respond, Gunther walked over to where they were sitting. “Somebody at table fourteen is looking for the short one.” He pointed at Rachel. “Go.” 

Rachel exchanged a look with Santana and headed in the direction of the table.

When she got closer, she recognized the customer as one of the producers. “Mr. Campion.” She smiled nervously. 

“Do you have any whole cakes, Rachel?” 

“Just a whole cake?”

Mr. Campion hummed. “I’d like one.”

“Okay.” Rachel started to walk towards the kitchen.

“But I need you to write something on it for me. Can you do that?” 

“Yeah.” she walked back to the table. 

“Good. I want you to write-” he paused. “Congratulations, Rachel Berry. You are Fanny Brice.”

Rachel put a hand over her mouth. “Are you serious?! Really?! Oh, my God! Really?! Thank you so much! Thank you!”

Mr. Campion grinned. 

“I got Fanny! Oh, my God! Thank you!” 

* * *

Once the excitement died down from Rachel announcing that she got Fanny, she asked Gunther if she could leave early. He agreed just to get her out of his hair. Kurt and Santana finished out the shift, splitting the tables that had been Rachel’s responsibility. 

Before Kurt could slip off, Santana blocked his way out of the small locker room. “Let’s have dinner.”

Kurt looked at her like she had three heads. “ _ You _ want to have dinner with  _ me _ ?”

“I don’t want to eat alone again, so sue me. Yes or no?”

“What about Dani?”

“She’s busy. She’s working on some big assignment.”

“Fine, but you’re buying. I have leftovers at home that I can for free.”

“In that case, let’s get coffee.”

“Cheapskate.”

“It’s coffee or Gray’s Papaya. I’ll spring for a hot dog and a tropical drink since that will cost the same as a good cup of coffee.”

“At least it’s food. Lead the way.”

After they had their food, they fixed up their hot dogs, and sat down.

She stared at his left hand as he held onto his cup. “So, where is your ring?” She knew because of the insane number of times Tina had texted her in the past hour. She had set her phone to silent after the first three, but it kept vibrating in her pocket.

“I’m not sure actually,” he answered honestly. “But definitely not on my finger.” 

She looked completely confused. “Obviously. Thus, me asking. Why?”

“Because I don’t want to be engaged. Especially to Blaine.” 

“Wait, so you gave it back?”

“Yeah.” Kurt took a sip from his cup. 

“So, you and the Hobbit aren’t engaged?”

“No.”

“He’s like your Disney Prince. He set up that huge proposal. Why would you say ‘yes’, and then give the ring back?”

He considered his words carefully, knowing that they would be repeated again and again. “Blaine and I broke up last fall because he cheated on me. I agreed to give him a second chance under duress at a picnic he set up at McKinley, but after I thought about what he said, I couldn’t go through with it because I realized that even though he promised to sign a ‘No Cheating’ contract that he had changed up why he said he cheated on me while we were talking. I just can’t with that. First, back last fall, he said it was because I wasn’t there when he needed me. Then at the picnic, he told me it was because he thought I was through with him. The day he showed up at the loft, I had just talked to him on the phone at lunch and told him that I loved him. How could he think I was through with him? I Skyped, I texted, I called. We watched TV shows together over Skype, even. I had only been gone two weeks and he cheated on me.”

“Then why did you say ‘yes’ at first?”

“Everyone was staring at me. Everyone was happy for me. Everyone seemed to think it was such a good idea, even my dad. I didn’t want to embarrass him or humiliate him by saying, ‘No thanks, Cheater McCheaterpants.” Kurt was getting agitated.

She gave him the HBIC staredown. She was starting to piece together Sebastian’s involvement. “The Criminal Chipmunk. He was missing early on, too. At the time, I thought he just got bored and left. But he drove the getaway car, didn’t he?” 

“I’m not going to answer any more questions. I left. I met up with my dad and Blaine. I gave the ring back. My dad knows about Blaine’s cheating now. He and I aren’t dating. He and I aren’t friends. You got the answers you were looking for. The end.”

“Is it really only because he cheated? Everyone in Glee Club cheated or got cheated on, but you’re making a really big deal out of this. Do you really not love him anymore?”

“The cheating was an important part, obviously. He  _ slept _ with someone _ else _ .”

“Wait. He had sex with someone else?”

“Thus, the word choice. He  _ cheated _ on me.”

“I thought he, like, made out with someone while drunk. You know, like he did with Berry at her horrible party back in junior year.”

“No, the having-sex-with-someone-else kind of cheating, but the truth is that Blaine and I hadn’t been doing well even before that. I’m just only realizing it now. I’m realizing that I was convinced that keeping him happy made me happy. But as convoluted as it sounds, it was also keeping me from being happy.” 

“Yeah, I do get that, though. I could have kept Brittany happy if I had stayed or gone back to Lima. But I wouldn’t have been happy there. We couldn’t both be happy. And I broke up with her, but I still love her. That’s what I’m getting at. I have Dani now, though,” she sighed. “ Britt…” She looked away and got herself back together. “...is at MIT being a genius. But sometimes when things don’t go like we think they should, they still turn out okay. I'm happy with Dani.”

“Yeah.”

She resumed her interrogation. “He’s moving here. Are you sure you’re not just going to go back to him as soon as he moves here? Is it really, really over?”

“It really, really is.”

“Alright then. When people ask me, I’ll tell them that it’s really, really over and to leave you alone about it.”

“Honestly, I’d rather you just stayed out of it. I’m not broadcasting what happened. I have no idea whether he’s even told anyone.”

“Got it. Don’t get any ideas about me having a heart or anything because telling people to not ask me saves me the trouble of answering them.”

“Thank you, Santana.” He didn’t know what else to say because she was being nice, which made his skin crawl, but left him little in the way of options other than responding kindly.

“Don’t get all mushy on me. Everyone knows, by the way. Tina blew up my phone with texts towards the end of our shift.”

“If you knew, why’d you ask?”

“I wanted to know why, plus from what I can gather, everyone is taking his side. Except Sam and maybe Kitty, but I think she’s just enough of a bitch to hassle both sides in a breakup just for kicks.”

“What’s your angle?”

“It’s all fun and games until it’s not, right? Being a bitch is fun most of the time, but it also gets old when you don’t have any friends.”

He just stared at her like she was one of those aliens in  _ Men in Black _ wearing a Santana suit. “Right.”

They had finished the hot dogs and people were waiting for a place to sit, so they got up and took their drinks and moved out to the sidewalk.

“I’m serious. Look, I know we’ve had our issues, mostly on my part, but it sucks things didn’t work out for you. It sucks when people aren’t who you think they are.” She hugged him and stepped back. “That never happened.” She raised her eyebrows and glared at him.

“Sometimes it doesn’t suck when people aren’t who you think they are.” He let her think that he meant her, but he was thinking about Sebastian, who was proving himself to be not at all what Kurt had expected, but in a completely good way. 

They parted ways. Kurt went back to Sebastian’s, showered early, and shut himself in his room to do his schoolwork. He checked his texts just to see if he had any from his dad or Carole after he plugged his phone in to charge. He ignored all of the others and went to bed.

* * *

Early Thursday evening, Sebastian got up to answer the knock at the door. He looked through the peephole and saw a man about his height with dark blond hair and a beanie, smiling broadly holding a basket. He knocked again.

Sebastian didn’t open the door, but said, “I didn’t order anything. I think you have the wrong place.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure this is the right place. I’m looking for Kurt Hummel. I’m Adam Crawford.” 


	12. Chapter 12

Sebastian opened the door to greet Adam. “Sorry about that. I’m Sebastian. Come on in. Kurt’s not here though.”

“Do you mind me waiting here for him?”

“I was just going to ask if you wanted to wait." He glanced over to the clock on the stove. "He said he’d be home ten minutes ago.” 

“That’s what he told me as well. He doesn’t know I’m here though. I had meant to surprise him.”

Sebastian gave him a fake smile. “This seems to be your thing. I heard you surprised him at work as well.”

“I did. He works himself to the ground. If I waited to see him until he offered me a time, I’d never get to see him outside of Apple’s rehearsals. I brought him a basket of homemade biscuits and some tea from England that he likes.”

“He does work too much. I told him so myself, but he’s stubborn.”

“That’s true, but I enjoy his company too much to give up completely. Would it be alright for me to sit this on the counter?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” Sebastian had been lost in his envious thoughts of this good looking man who was so obviously into Kurt that he took time to bake for him and went out of his way to deliver the treats. “Come on in and have a seat. No need to stand until he gets here. He must have missed the train or it broke down or something.”

Adam followed him into the living room. “This is a nice place. I wanted to thank you for giving him the chance to get out of the loft. That place has just been so bad for him. Those girls don’t give him a minute’s peace. And Rachel is the very image that should go in the dictionary next to the entry for frenemy, should it ever actually make it into a dictionary.”

Sebastian chuckled. “Yeah. Rachel’s something.”

Just then, they heard a key in the lock. Kurt stepped in and closed the door behind him. His eyes were immediately drawn to the basket on the counter. “Adam?”

“Over here, love. I thought you could use a break. Go ahead and look in the basket.” Adam got up and walked back into the kitchen.

Kurt removed the pretty towel that had been covering the contents. “You made me cookies and brought  _ Downton Abbey  _ and my favorite tea.” He hugged Adam. “I suppose I could sneak in just one episode before I start on my schoolwork.” 

Sebastian was sitting where he could see them both. He hadn’t seen a smile like that on Kurt, ever. He loved and hated it at the same time.

“Just let me shower really quickly. You’ll watch with us, right, Sebastian? I’ll even share a few cookies.”

Sebastian had no clue what  _Downton Abbey_ was, but he certainly wasn’t going to give that away. “If you’re sure.” 

“I’m sure.” Kurt headed into his room.

Sebastian got up. He pulled the tea out of the basket, intentionally making note of anything he could on the cover of the DVD case. “I’ll heat up some water for the tea.” He filled the kettle up and plugged it in. “You can set up the DVD if you’d like. The slot’s on the side of the TV.”

“Sure.” Adam pulled the DVD out of the basket and took it across the room.

Sebastian pulled his phone out and read a synopsis of the whole first season of the show, so he wouldn’t be totally lost. He found that it was a period drama set in England. He read as quickly as he could until the kettle whistled. He made two cups of hot water and put two tea bags in. “Should I set a timer?”

“It’s fine. I’ll come finish up.” When he came closer he saw only two cups. “Did you not want any?”

“I was thinking of having milk.”

Adam nodded.

Kurt came bounding back in the room in a better mood than Sebastian had ever seen him in. 

_God, happy looks good on him_ , he thought. He smiled genuinely. “Everything’s set up.” 

Adam said, “I’ve finished up your tea too.” He handed Kurt his cup, and then picked up the container of cookies.

Sebastian quickly poured himself a glass of milk and sat down on Kurt’s other side and they watched the first episode. Adam didn’t overstay and push Kurt to abandon his schedule. 

“See me out?” he asked politely.

Kurt got up and followed him to the kitchen.

“Just put the cookies in something to keep here and I’ll take the basket and container back so you won’t have something extra to lug around.”

Kurt finished repackaging them quickly. He opened the door and hugged Adam as he left. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, love. I’ll see you soon, I hope.”

Kurt just smiled and waved. He closed the door and turned back to the counter and put the container of cookies in the cabinet. He took a deep breath before turning back around. “Would you like me to warm up some of the Indian leftovers for you when I do mine?”

“Sure, thanks. I’ll come help.” He pulled out silverware, grabbed napkins, and set the table. “Can I ask you something?” He filled two glasses with water and put them on the table as well.

“Sure.”

“Are you in love with Adam?”

“No. I think I could be, though, if I’d let myself. He’s just…” Kurt tried to keep the tears at bay. “He deserves someone better than me. Someone who can be there for him. And that’s not me. I’m almost out of _me_ to give.” 

“You work too much.”

“I know. It creates a buffer. I’ve talked to my therapist about it, or I should say my therapist has brought it up. Working so much and never having any down time kept me from obsessing about my dad’s cancer. If I was constantly busy and barely had time to keep from drowning, I focused on just keeping my head above water. But…”

“But that’s not really living.”

“Exactly.” He plated their food and put the plates on the table. “But there's this element of addiction to it. Doing it all and not leaning on anyone else. I broke that moving in here. It’s been a hard week.”

“I know you’ve been avoiding being here when I’ve been here.”

“Yeah. I don’t really know what to say about that.”

“Do you still hate me?”

“No.”

They ate in silence for a while.

Kurt was the first to speak again. “I don’t hate you. I really don’t. But I don’t understand you. And I’m honestly over dealing with passive-aggressive and self-centered people.”

“I’ve met most of your so-called friends. I get why you don’t really have it in you to add one more person who will make your life even less enjoyable. I’m at a loss as to how to show you that I’m not that guy anymore and I haven’t been for a year.”

“I’ll just be honest. There is something about having a person in your life who serves as an acceptable target for your anger. Someone that it’s okay to dislike. I’ve put up with so much from the people who are supposed to be my friends, but I can’t lash back at them. They dish it out, but can’t take it. With you, you always gave as good as you got. We were a good match for verbal sparring.”

“You don’t want me as a friend.”

“Sebastian, no. Stop. Just keep listening, please. I’m trying.”

He nodded.

“We’ve already discussed how differently we viewed our relationship. I’m still processing how I hurt you. What I was trying to get at a minute ago was that it was easy when I felt like you deserved how I treated you. But just like you realized that your words had hurt Dave, I said things to hurt you and it felt good at the time because I felt like you deserved it. Anyway, it’s hard sitting and talking to you and realizing that I judged you without getting to know you, but you made it so hard to get to know you. By the time you decided the ‘fun and games’ were over, I just wrote you out of my life. You were at Dalton and I was in Lima and then here in New York, but I admit the first thing I asked Blaine last October was if it was you he had slept with.”

Sebastian sighed and nodded. “I can see why, now that we’ve talked.”

“But I see you, the person that you are now. And now I have to change. I do want us to be friends. But I don’t know how to let go of the frantic life I’ve created for myself. I’ve let it go on for so long that I don’t really know how to stop. I don’t know how to accept kindness. Until Adam, no one has ever done anything for me without expecting an equal or greater return at some point later. And I’m not even coping well with him complimenting me and doing little things.” He took a drink and paused for a moment. “‘You owe me.’ is something I just can’t hear right now. I just said how I felt like I have nothing left to give. I can’t owe you at some future date and my experience says that there will be a reckoning.”

Sebastian thought, _Wow, he’s had shitty friends. His dad had cancer and they expected him to be there for them._ “I realize that based on what you just said, you probably won’t believe me, but I’m not expecting anything in return for you living here. I’m hoping that you’ll feel at home here and finally be able to relax.”

Kurt nodded and continued to eat.

Sebastian watched Kurt and saw such exhaustion in Kurt’s beautiful eyes. He finished up, but didn’t get up while Kurt was still eating. “I put your pajamas on your bed. You probably already saw them. I grabbed a couple of pairs when I was out today to keep here in case I come back again before I actually move in after school ends.”

“I did see them. Thanks for washing them. And thanks for letting me eat leftovers all week. You’ve saved me from having to make that trip to the grocery.”

Once Kurt finished, Sebastian reached for his plate and silverware. “I know you have work to do and you already took a break that you hadn’t planned. I can get this stuff in the dishwasher and clean up.”

* * *

Sebastian got up early enough Friday morning to make breakfast for Kurt. He knew that Kurt had been generous and shared the cinnamon raisin bread he had made until it was gone, leaving him nothing for breakfast other than some yogurt. 

When Kurt came out of the bathroom, he saw that Sebastian had cooked breakfast for him and was sitting at the table waiting. He smiled and sat down with him. 

“Thanks. You didn’t have to cook for me. I was just going to eat some yogurt, but this looks great. I didn’t know you could cook.” Kurt began to eat the veggie and cheese omelette.

“That’s why I wanted the nicest kitchen I could put in a small space. I like easy food as much as the next person, but I do also really enjoy taking the time to make nice meals. There’s just something about the process that’s as enjoyable as eating the food.”

“I agree. I really do enjoy cooking and baking. Adam likes to bake. He and I both stress bake. I’m glad you two seemed to hit it off. He’s really the first person I’ve met who has ever gone out of their way to do things for me. As I mentioned, the rest of the people I’ve considered friends have all been on the ‘take’ side of the ‘give and take’ of friendship.”

“Even Sam?” 

“Sam’s wasn’t because he’s a selfish guy because he’s not at all. It was just situational. I mean you know that he lives with my parents. His family lives in Kentucky and he hated it there and came back to Lima.”

“Oh, God. The thought that there are places bad enough to make Lima and McKinley appealing is really appalling.”

Kurt laughed. “You’re right. Anyway, Adam’s just different. I know I’m about to lose him. Never mind that. This is really good.” He finished up quickly so he wouldn’t miss the train. “I hate to eat and run, but I have to go. I have Miss July’s class first thing again today and she takes being tardy as a personal offense and -”

Sebastian interrupted. “You need an A. I remember. Any chance of seeing you this evening?”

“You want to see me this evening?” Kurt got up and put his plate in the dishwasher.

Sebastian looked confused. He had obviously still not gotten through to Kurt that he wanted to spend time with him. “I’ll make something besides leftover Indian food, and we can watch a movie.”

“If you want, I’ll come back to eat dinner with you instead of staying at NYADA to do my schoolwork, but I’ll have to do it here after we eat.”

“Sure.”

Kurt scurried to his room to get his bag. “I’ll be back at 7:00 then,” he said as he rushed out the door.

“How am I ever going to get through to him?” Sebastian asked himself out loud as he put his head down on the table.

He didn’t have much time to wallow in his frustration because a few minutes later three sharp raps on the door startled him into sitting back up. He put his stuff in the dishwasher and went to the door.

_Santana Fucking Lopez._

“Open up, Fievel. I know you’re home.”

He opened the door politely, wearing his most convincingly welcoming expression. “Santana. What a pleasant surprise. Do come in.” He let her step inside and closed the door behind her. “Can I get you something? Juice? Coffee?”

“Yeah, sure. Coffee would be good.”

He poured her the cup of coffee that he was going to have and started more for himself. “Cream? Sugar?”

“A little of both.” She walked away and began to look around the apartment. “Nice place for a high school student.” She looked into Kurt’s bedroom and then into Sebastian’s. “I see Porcelain has made himself at home. It’s nice of you to take him in, which makes me wonder what’s going on because you and I both know that ‘nice’ isn’t a word that I associate with you. Or with myself, for that matter. But I am wondering about that ‘turning over a new leaf’ you told us about a year ago.”

He handed her the cup of coffee.

“Thanks.” She took a sip. “I’m pretty sure that you helped him with the get-away plan last weekend. Was that premeditated or a spur-of-the-moment decision?”

“I only knew about the proposal Friday evening when he came to Dalton to ask us to help him. I agreed because I thought they had been solid for two years at that point. I thought it would be a nice thing for the Warblers to be known for after Hunter dragged our reputation through the mud. I didn’t find out about the cheating and them being broken up for five months until after the proposal was over.”

“So, spur-of-the-moment.”

She sat down on the couch and crossed her legs. She leaned back and stared him down. “What’s in this for you?”

“The knowledge that I’ve done something nice and helpful.” He poured his coffee and added a little more milk than usual to cool it down more quickly. 

“Again with ‘nice’ and ‘helpful’.” She stared at him.

He crossed the room and sat down. “Why are you here?”

“To see what exactly is going on. I know that he left, gave the ring back, flew here, and I’m assuming you’re the one who helped him move.”

“I did.”

She drank more of her coffee and looked around again. “You could use some artwork. Let Kurt work his charm on this place and it will feel more homey.”

“A compliment for Kurt’s interior design skills? Unexpected from you.”

“Look, there’s no love lost between me and the over-gelled hobbit. He and I never sat around while he did my nails to perfection or did whatever crazy thing Britt wanted done to hers. Blaine never did her hair just perfect and made her smile in a way that lit up the whole room.”

“Why did Kurt feel the need to get away from the loft then? If things were all rainbows and ponies, why was he desperate enough to move out to move into my place?”

“Because I’m an awful person. I can’t stand calm and harmony. It makes my skin crawl. I’d rather start throwing shoes than to wait for one to fall. I feel less alone when everyone else is in as much turmoil as I am. There. I’ve said it. I’m a bitch and I know it.”

“Why are you here?”

“Because even though I’m a bitch, I don’t want Kurt hurt. I thought he and the hobbit were the real deal, so I went to the proposal. I found out Mr. Goody Two-Shoes let some random fuck him. Kurt didn’t deserve that.”

“So, you didn’t know either?”

“I knew that Blaine had cheated on him, but I thought it was something like kissing someone at a party while drunk. I mean Kurt went to watch _Grease_. Blaine came here for Christmas. They hooked up at Mr. Schue’s bomb of a wedding a month ago. I thought they were headed back to their disgustingly calm, passionless, gay, old married couple relationship.”

“Well, I can’t speak to their relationship, but I didn’t know they were broken up when I agreed for the Warblers to host the proposal. I really did turn over a new leaf last year. I’ve left my bullying days behind. It was a short-lived period of my life that I’ll always regret. I know I apologized last year, but I meant it. I’m sorry for the way I treated you.”

“Yeah, I get that. I’m not going to go all Dr. Phil and ask you to share your damage. It happened. It’s over. You’re sorry. The end. I just came to give you a warning from one bitch to an _ex_ -bastard, I guess. Just don’t hurt him.”

“And why am I supposed to think you care?”

“As much shit as I might give the people I care about, I do still care. Just remember that I was the one who got that slushie evidence. And I don’t even like Blaine. Kurt was the one that let you off the hook.”

“Got it. Don’t hurt Kurt. The exact opposite is my plan. Being nice and helping, remember?”

She got up and put her empty coffee cup on the counter. She turned back towards him. “And just so you know, those idiots back at McKinley are siding with Blaine. Well, other than Sam.”

“Great.”

She let herself out.

* * *

Saturday morning, Sebastian managed to get information out of Kurt about what he had planned for the next day while they ate breakfast together. Kurt didn’t run out like he had during the week, but he went straight back to his room to work on a project for his costume design course. 

After he finished cleaning up, he went to Kurt’s room and leaned against the doorway and watched him for a few minutes before he went back into his own room to get his shoes on and leave. He stopped again outside his door. “I’m heading out now.”

Kurt nodded. “Have a good time with your family.”

* * *

Sebastian came back after dinnertime that evening. Kurt heard him let himself in, but continued to iron his finished pieces. Sebastian stopped at his door. 

“So, you’ve finished?”

“I have. Just a few minutes ago. I have to iron them before I can consider them completely done, but that won’t take more than 15 more minutes.”

“Excellent. So, does that mean you have time to watch a movie with me?”

“I thought you were heading to the airport with your parents after dinner, now that I actually think about it.”

“I was, but I changed my flight to tomorrow morning. I thought maybe we could just watch the movie and eat popcorn. I’ll make it on the stove top. I stopped and got real popcorn on the way back.”

“You drive a hard bargain, but I guess I deserve a little break. I managed to get these done more quickly than I had anticipated.”

“Great. I’ll shower while you finish up. That way I can just go to sleep after the movie since I have to be up early.”

Twenty minutes later, Kurt joined Sebastian on the couch. He handed Kurt a caffeine free Diet Coke and a bowl of popcorn.

“How did you know?”

“I saw a bottle of Diet Coke in the kitchen trash. I got the caffeine free version so you wouldn’t be up all night.”

“That was actually really sweet. Thanks. I didn’t even ask what movie we’re watching.”

“ _Rise of the Guardians_. I almost got _Wreck it Ralph_ , but the artwork looked so cool on this one.” 

“I saw the trailers for that last fall. If I had gone home for Thanksgiving, I’m sure that I could have gotten Sam to go with me, but I ended up staying here instead. Go ahead and start it. What made you think I’d like an animated movie?”

“I saw your Disney DVDs. That’s why I was going to choose _Wreck it Ralph_.” 

“Oh.” Kurt had never considered that Sebastian would be so observant, first the drink and then the movie. “I think I’ll like this one more, but we could watch _Wreck it Ralph_ if you come some weekend between now and when I move out in June.” 

Sebastian nodded, still hoping to come up with a way to get Kurt to agree to stay. He had enjoyed his time in the flat more the evenings that Kurt had spent there, even if he was holed up in his room doing schoolwork.

* * *

Sunday morning, Kurt found that Sebastian had left an envelope on top of the bread pan, which was missing a single slice of banana bread. On the outside it said:

_ Kurt, _

_Thank you for breakfast._  
_I’m sure you’ll love the show._  
_I thought it was fantastic yesterday._

He looked in the envelope and found a ticket to the matinee of _Wicked_. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for Finn's death. No details. This chapter covers the four weeks following the previous chapter and ends with "The Quarterback" episode. For anyone wishing to not read through the chapter, I've included a summary in the note area at the bottom of the page.

Tuesday afternoon, Kurt picked up the phone on his office desk. "Isabelle Wright's office. How can I help you?"

"Kurt?"

"Dad?"

"Yeah, it's me. I tried your cell, but it went straight to voicemail."

"Dad, are you crying? What's wrong?"

"It's Finn. There was an accident. He didn't make it."

Kurt dropped the phone. He fumbled and picked it back up off his desk. "Finn's dead?"

"Yeah, Bud." Burt couldn't speak through his sobbing. "You need to go home. Use your emergency card and buy a ticket. I love you, Kurt. I'll see you soon. I have to make arrangements too."

"I love you too, Dad." He hung up the phone. Other lines were ringing in. He ignored them and walked across the hall to Isabelle's office. He knocked twice on her open door.

She looked up. She got up and rushed over to him. "Kurt, what's wrong."

Tears streamed down Kurt's cheeks, as he stood frozen in place, crying silently. "Finn died. I have to go home."

"Come sit. I'll help you get a flight."

* * *

Six hours later, Kurt came out of the Columbus airport. He moved down the sidewalk enough to get out of the way before he began to scan the area. He saw Sebastian wave to get his attention. He walked down to where his car was and put his suitcase and carry-on in the trunk.

"Thanks for picking me up."

"You're welcome."

Kurt appreciated Sebastian's willingness to just let him ride in silence.

Once they pulled up to the Hummel's, Kurt said, " _Wicked_ was as amazing as I always thought it would be. Thank you for the ticket."

"I thought it was amazing too. I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you need a ride back to the airport or just need someone to talk to, give me a call."

Kurt nodded. "Thanks again." Kurt grabbed his stuff out of the trunk and walked up to the house. He waved as Sebastian drove off.

* * *

Carole opened the door before he made it across the porch. He stepped inside and let her pull him into a hug. He managed to push the door shut with his foot. They stood and sobbed, holding each other. Eventually Carole stepped back.

"I have a salad for you for dinner."

He nodded and followed her to the kitchen. He didn't really feel like eating, but he knew that it would make her feel better to see him eat. They didn't talk. Neither knew what to say.

Sam came back from work later that evening, just a few minutes before Burt arrived from DC.

He was the first of many that Kurt had to share the bad news with.

Burt and Carole sat together in Burt's office and called her family members.

* * *

The next morning Carole's sister Alice arrived. The two of them and Burt left to work on the arrangements.

Kurt started a chicken vegetable stew in the Crock-pot and cooked some rice to have available to add to it whenever anyone decided they wanted something to eat. He began to clean the house from top to bottom, assuming that more of Carole's family, and probably Christopher's, would be visiting at some point over the following few days.

He showered and took a walk once he finished. He ended up at McKinley, sitting on the football bleachers staring out onto the field until he heard the final school bell ring in the distance. He texted Sam and asked to ride home with him.

After they got home, Kurt was given the task of coming up with what to serve for lunch the next day. He and Sam went to Sam's Club and bought several family-sized trays of lasagna and a variety of canned soft drinks.

* * *

Late Thursday morning, there was a small family-only memorial service at a local funeral parlor. Carole had graciously invited Rachel, but she didn't make an appearance. Sam had lived with them long enough that he was included as family. The service was short and attended by about 25 people, all of whom came to the house for the family lunch.

Sam headed back to school. Kurt left with him since a lot of Carole's relatives had no interest in sharing a meal with him. He had Sam drop him off at the shop.

When Sam picked him back up, he mentioned that the New Directions wanted to have a memorial for Finn since they hadn't been able to attend the service that morning. Kurt nodded and mostly just listened to Sam without making any promises.

When they got back, Kurt said his goodbyes to Carole and his dad before Sam drove him to the airport in Toledo. He had to be back Friday because he had only managed to find people to work his shifts until then because despite not coming to Lima, Rachel managed to get people to take all of her shifts through the weekend before he had gotten a chance to start asking people.

* * *

Kurt struggled back in New York. He was alone in the apartment. He spent his time not doing much more than contemplating life and death while working, going to class, and doing school work. He also rewatched all of the videos he had of Finn singing in Glee Club.

He was most sad that he had missed Finn's fun version of "I've Gotta Be Me" when he was at Dalton, but the song really spoke to him. He thought about how in the end, once Finn graduated, he had set out to figure out who he was apart from Rachel and the Glee Club and Lima. Ironically, he had figured it out while helping run the Glee Club in Mr. Schue's absence. He wanted to go to school in Lima to become a teacher.

* * *

Late Saturday afternoon, Adam stopped by at the end of his shift at the diner and brought a picnic dinner. They ate together at the apartment. He showed Adam the video of Finn singing. Adam stayed for a while, encouraging Kurt to tell him more good things he remembered about Finn. Adam left the remainders of what he had brought in the refrigerator, hoping that Kurt would eat them.

Kurt played the video one more time after Adam left and decided that he needed to kick some life back into himself. He went out and came back with a narrow line of tattooed text on the inside of each wrist. The tattoo artist had done it in Kurt's own very neat block print handwriting, exactly as Kurt had written it on a sheet of paper. On his left wrist, it said, "FREE TO BE ME. NO LIMITS." And on his right wrist, it said, "DEFY GRAVITY. LEAP AND SOAR."

* * *

The following Friday evening, Kurt found a post-it note on the door to the apartment.

_I'm here. –S_

Kurt called out as he closed and locked the door behind him. "Sebastian?"

"Yeah, I'm in my room, unpacking."

"This is a surprise."

"You like surprises."

"That's true."

"I felt like a weekend in New York City could melt away my little town blues."

Kurt chuckled. "That's possible." He leaned against the door frame. "Thanks for all of the texts."

"You're welcome."

"I did actually do quite a few of them this past week. I took a walk at lunch a couple of times. I went to that library and studied there for a while. It all helped. I didn't manage the watch the sunrise at Central Park idea yet though. It seemed more like something to do with someone. I'm not sure that I'm keen on hanging out in Central Park in the dark by myself."

"Well, there's always tomorrow morning or Sunday. I'll go with you."

"Sure. Besides Adam coming over once by basically following me home from work, it's just been me. I take that back. I invited Santana over one evening after our shift. She and I had a long talk."

"Good, I hope?"

"Yeah. We're good. She has a lot of regrets. I know you can understand to a small extent, but multiply your three months of pseudo-villainy and raise it several levels of meanness and multiply it times six years or so."

"That's hard."

"It is, but she's going to start seeing someone I think. But I've worked enough hours to compensate for leaving again the end of next week and I've worked ahead on my assignments, so as long as I can keep to the schedule I've made I'm all set. So there's that."

"There is that." He took the last thing out of his suitcase and put it in the closet. "I brought all of my winter clothes with me. I figured if I was making the trip for fun, I'd do something useful too. I don't really own that many winter clothes. I had my growth spurt in Paris. And I've been at Dalton both winters since I've been back."

"We could go shopping."

"You'd take _me_ shopping?" Sebastian looked shocked.

Kurt teasingly winked at him. "I would and it would improve your wardrobe immensely – if you agree."

"I already have a style in mind."

"Please tell me it's something besides frat boy wannabe."

Sebastian laughed. "Maybe. You'll have to go with me to find out."

"How will I know where to take you if you don't tell me ahead of time. Plus, I have to actually see your winter wardrobe before we go."

Sebastian motioned Kurt towards his closet. "Feel free."

Kurt stood back upright and took the few steps it took to reach Sebastian's closet. He slid the door to the side and stepped in. "These all look like they belong to your dad." He pulled a couple of the shirts out and looked at them. "The only exceptions are the rugby shirt you wore to Scandals and the Dalton hoodies. Oh, and this green sweater is nice."

"That's why I need new winter clothes," he deadpanned. "My mom bought them. She's used to buying for my dad obviously. I think she also assumed that I would 'fill out' at some point, but that part never happened."

Kurt looked through them to see that they were all Ralph Lauren in solids, all the same size and style. "They're identical. Put one on so I can see how it fits."

Sebastian unzipped the Dalton hoodie he was wearing and slipped it off, revealing a Dalton t-shirt underneath. He grabbed one of the shirts and put it on. "How's Adam doing?"

"He's still auditioning for parts."

"He didn't get that one he auditioned for when I was here before?" Sebastian finished tucking the shirt in and did a little turn for Kurt.

Kurt shook his head, while smiling at Sebastian's antics. "They didn't think his American accent was convincing enough. I think the mistake he made was not using it from the moment he walked in. His American accent is just fine." He stepped closer to Sebastian to see what he could do.

"That's too bad. What happens if he doesn't get a role?"

"His student Visa will expire and he'll have to go back to England."

"I see. I hope he gets one soon then."

"This is just too big. You need a slim or modern style in a 34/35 sleeve."

Sebastian put his suitcase in the closet and put the shirt back on the hanger. "Have you had dinner yet?" He grabbed his hoodie and hung it up as well.

"No."

"I ordered some groceries to be delivered. I had just finished putting them away before I came in here to unpack. Do you have time to cook with me? If you don't, you can still eat with me."

* * *

They worked together mostly in a calm silence and didn't really talk as they ate, but Sebastian counted it as a win just getting Kurt to stay with him for an extended period of time instead of retreating to his room.

While they ate, Sebastian spent time thinking. Over the three weeks since he had been back in Ohio, he had watched the whole first season of _Downton Abbey_. He internally shook his head at himself realizing how much time he had put into it just so that he could enjoy watching new episodes with Kurt.

After the funeral, he had texted Kurt a few times a day. Never having been through anything so heartbreaking, he wasn't sure what to do. He did the best he could to be supportive without becoming an annoyance. Kurt had barely responded to the texts and when he did, they had been simple one or two word responses. He didn't get the impression that anyone was doing much to support Kurt in what he was going through. The fact that Adam had only managed to get Kurt to do something with him once spoke volumes for how much Kurt had isolated himself.

His mind came back to the present when they had both finished eating. He persuaded Kurt to watch the second episode of the second season of _Downton Abbey_ with him before he ran off to shower and went back to working on a costume for one of his classes.

* * *

Saturday morning, Sebastian awoke to the pre-dawn alarm he had set. He got up quietly and got dressed. He opened his door to find Kurt wearing sweats, sitting on the couch staring at a picture frame that had a photo of both him and Finn in their graduation robes.

Sebastian sat down beside him. "That will be me soon. Seven more weeks. But before then I have seven AP exams to take. And several papers to write and a couple of projects."

"That's a lot of AP exams."

"Well, I took five last year. If I get fives on the seven that I'm taking this year, I'll get credit for 12 classes, which is the equivalent of one year of college, so I'll graduate when I originally would have."

"That was really good planning on your part. I did some education related research as well over the last week. NYADA accepts up to 24 credits from other universities towards the general education courses. Provided that Miss July sees fit to give me a grade that will allow me to get credit for the first level, I'll be caught up in dance. This summer, I'm going to take a vocal technique course and the next level of costume design. In addition to those, I'm going to take four classes at one of the CUNY branches. It will save me a ton of money. And the idea of going to school with some new people seems like an interesting opportunity. I'll take three classes during each 7-week sessions."

"So, you'll be in school all summer?"

"I get a week after school ends, Fourth of July week, and one week between the end of the second session and the beginning of the fall semester."

"I guess that's better than no break."

"It is. I'll have sophomore standing and I'll be able to move ahead to Advanced Costume Design in the fall. I'm hoping that by taking the core courses this summer and next, I can end up with a double major by taking the costume design classes needed for a major. It would open up my opportunities after graduation. And the tuition is a lot lower per credit hour at CUNY. I'll be able to graduate on time by doing the summer classes too, which would allow me to start job hunting seven months sooner. "

"Sounds like you've been getting a lot of things straightened out. I was actually wondering if you wanted to go watch the sunrise with me. We can still make it if we leave now."

"Okay."

* * *

They spent the 20-minute walk to Central Park in a companionable silence. They crossed into the park at 106th and walked to the Great Hill area and sat down facing east. Once the sun had illuminated the whole area, Sebastian got up.

"There's this place I love. Let me show you?" Sebastian led them to the waterfalls.

Kurt could hear the water before he could see where the sound was coming from. Once they got closer, his eyes lit up. "It's so peaceful. It's far enough into the park that a lot of the traffic is muffled just by the trees, but now that we're close enough to hear the water, the noise of the city is gone." He sat down on a rock and closed his eyes for a few minutes. Tears streamed down his cheeks.

Sebastian sat next to him in silent support. He stayed seated when Kurt got up and walked around the area and waited there until Kurt was ready to leave.

* * *

Later that evening, after Kurt got home from his double shift at the diner, they made dinner together again and watched another episode of _Downton Abbey_ before Kurt showered and did more schoolwork again. Sebastian refrained from bringing up how he was still working himself into the ground, despite his previous assertion that he was going to enjoy living a little. He went back to studying in his room as well.

* * *

Sunday morning, Sebastian got his first taste of Kurt's lemon blueberry poppy seed bread.

"Oh, my God, Kurt. This is the best bread ever. I want to eat this for breakfast every day for the rest of my life."

Kurt smiled and chuckled. "I'll give you the recipe."

"I never knew I'd like blueberries in it, but it's perfect." Sebastian resisted the urge to gobble the whole piece down and intentionally took smaller bites to enjoy it longer. "What are your plans for this morning? An early shift at the diner?"

"Actually, I had decided to give myself a break today. I was going to go out to my favorite flea market. You could join me." He looked away. "It's probably not your kind of thing. That's okay."

"I can't say whether it is or isn't because I've never been to one here, but I'm willing to give it a chance."

"There's actually a couple of high-end resale shops in the area that open early because of the flea market. You could take all those Ralph Lauren dress shirts and sell them. You could use the money to buy a few gently used shirts that fit and you actually like."

He nodded and put the last bite of bread in his mouth. He got up and put his coffee cup in the dishwasher. "I'll go fold them up and put them back in my suitcase with my school books. I'll need to head to the airport after our shopping excursion."

* * *

Sebastian got to witness Kurt come to life as they made their way through the vendors. Kurt picked up a small painting. He also found some vintage curtains, which Sebastian liked and paid for.

With a bit of cajoling, Sebastian managed to get Kurt to agree to let him buy him lunch before they went their separate ways. They stood together on the sidewalk after they had finished eating.

"So, did your trip chase away your little town blues?"

"Most definitely. I'm the newest flea market convert. I had a great time."

"I'm glad you came too. It was a nice surprise."

Kurt waved as Sebastian left in a taxi for the airport. He took the curtains home with him and worked on altering them to the right size for the windows in the apartment while he listened to the soundtrack from _Wicked_.

* * *

The following Thursday afternoon, Kurt arrived in the choir room in the suit he had worn to the funeral. As he looked through the music they were going to sing as a memorial, he tried to grasp the finality of it all. He struggled with how three weeks had already passed, yet only now that they were together without Finn did it finally feel real. He focused on the music, pushing away the tears. They moved to the auditorium and sang out "Seasons of Love" to an empty audience. Only Rachel hadn't come.

That evening at dinner, Carole told him that they had accepted the offer on the house. They had already found a much smaller place closer to the shop, a 3-bedroom ranch with 2.5 baths. They were taking the two rooms with the shared bathroom to use as their bedroom and office. The bedroom with its own bath would be their guest room. She had quit her job and planned to travel back and forth the DC with Burt.

The rest of the evening was a blur as the three of them went through Finn's room. There were tears, hugs, and many stories told. Kurt kept the football from the only game they had won sophomore year. The whole team had signed it like they had won the Super Bowl. He also kept one pair of Finn's favorite drumsticks. He took the framed photo of Finn and Puck in their zombie makeup and another set of drumsticks to give to Puck. He put another set with Finn's letterman jacket to give to Rachel. And he kept a final set of drumsticks to give to Sam.

* * *

Kurt got up before dawn the next morning to go through what he had left behind when he moved to NYC. He put the boxes to donate in the back of Burt's truck. When Carole got up, he helped her finish going through Finn's room and put those boxes in the truck as well. Afterwards, he went to the small storage unit that only he knew about and went through the boxes he hadn't been able to bring himself to sort through when they joined households after the wedding.

Once he finished, he took all of the boxes donated them. He decided to quit paying rent on the storage unit and take the rest of his mom's stuff and his own keepsakes to New York with him. He stopped at McKinley at lunch and picked Sam up to help him move his mom's dresser and the boxes from the storage unit to the truck and then into the garage at the house.

Sam finished unloading the boxes while Kurt changed quickly. They went back to McKinley to spend the afternoon in the choir room with the rest of the New Directions. Rachel arrived not long afterwards. They all went out to dinner at Breadstix later that afternoon.

* * *

Saturday morning, Kurt got up early and said his goodbyes before heading to New York in the U-Haul he had rented. Sebastian had offered to ride with him, so he stopped in Columbus to pick up several boxes of books and the other things that Sebastian wanted to take. Art helped the two of them load Sebastian's stuff and they left. Sebastian drove the first four hours.

Not long before they were going to switch, Kurt finally spoke. "One of the hardest things about losing Finn is wondering how much of the pain I feel, how much of the sense of loss I have is because I actually miss him or I miss what could have been and what might have been. He and I will never team up against our parents to play a prank on them at a holiday gathering. He will never be my best man. I will never be his. I know that Rachel is hurting too, and it's hard to know how to feel. He broke her heart in a way that I just cannot understand. He picked her up the morning of their wedding and drove her to a train station and broke up with her, supposedly setting her free. But she's convinced that they were endgame. She says that he was certain too, but now that's never going to happen. She could have been with him all this time if he hadn't been so stubborn. Were they planning to lead two separate lives for a couple of decades until Rachel was no longer getting lead roles on Broadway and she went back to Lima and be with him? I don't get it, but she's mourning like she's lost her future. She latched on to me as soon as she got to town, but she's barely civil to me a lot of the time in New York. Death affects people in strange ways. I did my best to be there for her, but it's hard. Even in grief, it feels like a contest with her. 'He was my soulmate, Kurt,' she said over and over again. She just sees herself without the ending she thought she was going to have. She's not faced going home to a house that she's never lived in. She doesn't see Carole lost in a world without the most important person in her life for the last two decades. I'm not sure whether I'll ever feel welcome in my family. Every time Carole sees me, she sees that I'm not Finn."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter summary
> 
> Burt calls Kurt to tell him about Finn's death at Vogue when he can't get through on Kurt's cell phone. Kurt returns to Lima. Carole opts for a family-only memorial two days later. Rachel is invited, but does not go. That same afternoon, Kurt returns to NYC.
> 
> Sebastian sends Kurt texts throughout the week. Kurt spends the first week really down. He watches Finn's version of "I've Gotta Be Me" over and over. Adam manages to get Kurt to eat a picnic dinner with him Saturday evening and encourages him to retell his good memories of Finn. Afterwards, he goes out and gets tattoos on the insides of his wrists. "FREE TO BE ME. NO LIMITS." on his left and "DEFY GRAVITY. LEAP AND SOAR." on the right.
> 
> Sebastian sends texts throughout the week again, only this time Kurt manages to do some of the things he suggests, like taking walks and visiting a cool library to study in just to get out of the apartment for a while. He invites Santana over midweek and they have a long talk, similar to the one they had in canon on the stage, but longer and without Santana shutting down.
> 
> Friday evening, Kurt comes back from the diner and finds a note on the door that says that Sebastian's there. They make dinner together, eat, and watch Downton Abbey. (Sebastian binge-watched the first season of during his three weeks in Ohio.)
> 
> Saturday morning, they go to Central Park to watch the sunrise, which had been one of Sebastian's suggestions that Kurt was too leery to do on his own. After the sun was up, they went to the waterfalls in the park. Kurt works a double-shift at the diner. Sebastian studies all day. That evening, they repeated the previous evening's activities. When asked, Kurt tells Sebastian that he had planned a break for himself on Sunday. He invites Sebastian along.
> 
> Sunday morning, Kurt takes Sebastian to a huge flea market, which Sebastian ends up enjoying. Kurt buys a small painting and Sebastian buys vintage curtains for the apartment. Sebastian leaves after lunch. Kurt spends the afternoon listening to the Wicked soundtrack while altering the curtains.
> 
> Kurt returns to Lima on Thursday, three weeks after the funeral. The differences in this chapter from canon are – Quinn is there. Puck does not steal the tree. There is no drama over the letterman jacket. Kurt gives it to Rachel, along with a pair of Finn's drumsticks. He gives Puck a framed photo of him and Finn in the zombie makeup and a set of drumsticks. He also gives a set of drumsticks to Sam. He keeps the signed football from their winning game sophomore year and Finn's favorite drumsticks for himself.
> 
> Saturday morning, he loads up his mother's dresser, the other things he removed from the secret storage unit he had been paying for, and the boxes of items he wants to keep from his room as well as some other things in a U-Haul to make it easier for Burt and Carole, who are moving into a small ranch house. On the way to New York, he picks up Sebastian and all of the things from Sebastian's house that he wants to take to NYC. The chapter ends with Kurt talking about his mixed up emotions on the drive back.


	14. Chapter 14

When they made it to the loft, they pulled out the bed and dresser that Sam had been using in the guest room at the Hummel's and carried them up to the loft. Kurt's furniture would be moved into their new guest bedroom after Burt, Carole, and Sam moved the following week. They removed the pallets at Santana's request. Kurt had called someone ahead of time that he knew from NYADA who always wanted pallets. He pulled up right on time with a pickup truck and took them away.

Kurt went back up and looked around the loft. Quite a few things had changed in the five weeks he hadn't lived there. He found a couple of things he had left behind and took them with him.

They unloaded the rest of the stuff at the apartment, which took longer because in addition to the dresser, a few lamps, and Kurt's spotlight from his old basement room, there were quite a few boxes and lot of stairs to climb. Once they were finally done, Kurt took the U-Haul to the closest place that was open for late drop-offs. He took a bus and the subway back to the apartment.

When he let himself back in, he was greeted by an amazing smell that he couldn't place. "It smells fantastic in here. What are you cooking?"

"Poutine."

"I've never had it, but it smells amazing."

"It should be done in about ten minutes. I'm making us some turkey burgers to go with it. I know you're into much healthier foods than poutine, but it's my go-to comfort-myself food. I like the methodical preparation, the aroma while it cooks, and the end result of getting to eat it. I didn't know what your comfort food was, so I made mine to share it with you."

"That's actually really sweet. I love cheesecake, but it's complicated."

Sebastian waited to see if Kurt was going to explain.

"Honestly, I tend to skip eating when I'm stressed because I don't want to become a stress over-eater. My mom died from cancer when I was eight. My dad had a heart attack and a serious heart arrhythmia that put him in a coma when I was 16. Then, at 19 he told me he had cancer. My orthorexia-like issues come from a deep-seated fear of dying young. But something I've been trying to come to terms with lately is that anyone can die at any age without a reason. I'll add working on my food issues at some point, but tonight I'm going to pretend they don't exist and enjoy what you've cooked." Kurt went in the bathroom and washed his hands and wrists and re-moisturized the tattooed areas. Once he patted them dry, he pulled his shirt that had extra-long sleeves back down over his wrists. He went back into the kitchen and pulled out plates and set the table.

"The curtains look great. I didn't expect all of them to be finished already."

"Sewing straight lines doesn't take much time."

"That's because you're good at it. It would take me forever to do. Plus, we both know that there was more to it than sewing straight lines."

"I'm glad you like them."

Sebastian plated their food and they sat down to eat. This time Sebastian managed to engage Kurt in some conversation as they ate by talking about France. Kurt asked a few questions here and there.

After they ate and cleaned up, they both started unpacking their boxes. Kurt put a few of his into his closet unopened because he wasn't ready to deal with what was in them yet, plus with the dresser still broken, he couldn't store anything in it. He went to Sebastian's room, mostly to be nosy.

"Oh, my. That's a lot of books." He stopped in the doorway.

"What can I say, I like to read."

He could see the titles of a few of them. " _The Physics of Superheroes_?"

"Yeah. That's really cool. I got it when I was like 11. I read over and over, trying to understand it. I learned a lot from that book."

"I'll leave you to your project. I'm going to make a loaf of bread, shower, and do some reading."

"Before you walk off, Let me know about the cost on the rods and the metal rings with clips that you used to hang the curtains."

"You're letting me live here for free, Sebastian."

"Part of the apartment being gifted to me included the furniture and furnishings. I'm not going to let you pay for what my parents are still expecting to get a bill for."

"Alright, if you insist. But I'm doing this because you brought them into it." He sighed and walked off.

Sebastian stopped what he was doing and followed Kurt. "Stop, please."

Kurt was already in his room, but he turned to face the door. "What?"

"We've both been doing this. We're both trying so hard not to snipe at each other that we walk away to avoid conflict. We can work this out somehow. Please help me understand why you're upset."

"Let's go sit down on the couch." Kurt followed Sebastian back out to the living room. He sat down and took a deep breath. "I already feel like a mooch by living here without paying rent, but you've told me multiple times not to feel that way. I offered to alter the vintage curtains that you paid for. I bought what was needed to hang them as something kind to do. You've been kind to me. I was attempting to be kind to you. When you try to pay me, it makes me feel like the hired help, not your friend."

"I didn't mean to… I didn't want to make you feel like the hired help. It's just I didn't want you to pay for what my parents are expecting to pay. From my perspective the kindness was you customizing the curtains I bought so that they fit the seven windows in the apartment. That was you using your time, something you have very little of, to do something kind. You spending money on the hardware to hang them is something different altogether. That's an expense my parents expected to pay. Even if I had hired a designer to come in and do the work, the designer would have included the cost of the hardware as part of the job cost."

"Okay."

"Really? You're not just saying that so our disagreement will end."

"I'm not. You've made your point. But in the future, if I do something kind for you because I want to, even if it involves spending my own money, I will be hurt if you try to repay me for what I did."

Sebastian nodded. "I get that. You're not a charity case. I really do want us to be friends."

"Me too. I'll get you the receipts for the hardware or at least the totals from the places I got the stuff from."

"How did you get done so fast emptying your boxes?"

"Oh, I put some of them in my closet to deal with later."

"Feel free to put out whatever you would like on the wood unit in here. It will make it feel more homey."

"Thanks. I actually figured I'd wait a while. I have papers due this week and presentations to prepare for next week. And the week after that is finals week. Our finals aren't all done during the last week of the semester – just the ones with written exams. Our performance classes have our final presentations the week before finals. We meet with our performance class instructors during finals week to go over our performances individually."

"That actually makes sense."

"I've heard it's pretty nerve-wracking. They'll play a video of my performance or presentation and they'll go through their critique as I watch."

"That would make me tense. I won't keep you from studying. That's what I'll be doing tomorrow until I fly back." He stood up.

"Thanks again for dinner. It was delicious."

Sebastian smiled. "You're welcome. I'm glad you liked it."

* * *

Kurt worked an early shift at the diner the next day. He was back by noon. When he came in, he could smell something delicious again. Sebastian came around the end of the wall into the kitchen.

"Oh, good. You're back. The timer just went off on my phone. Would you like a bowl of soup? I even have fresh French bread to go with it."

"You're a siren, luring me away from my planned lunch of crunching raw carrots while I read," Kurt said, being melodramatic.

Sebastian laughed. "You can snack on the carrots late tonight when I'm back in Ohio."

"Okay."

"That was easy."

"I am _never_ easy," Kurt winked. He flounced off to the bathroom and showered as quickly as possible. He changed into some very broken in jeans and his Apples hoodie and slid into his chair across from Sebastian in less than ten minutes.

"Nice impression of the Flash."

Kurt raised his eyebrows and took a bite. "This is really good."

"Thanks. I decided to take a break around 10 and went for a walk. I found a bakery that had the bread. I also walked past a small grocery that had a table of produce set up outside. The tomatoes inspired me. It's been a long time since I had the urge to cook. Repeating a year and the stuff with Hunter… But after I spent spring break here with you, I've been able to change my focus and look forward a bit more, and also focus on enjoying the here and now more. I really enjoy cooking and I just wanted to make something I haven't had in a while."

"Well, you're really good at it, and I don't say that about many people's cooking."

Sebastian blushed a bit. He'd never really felt the need to do things that made other people happy, but he realized that he very much liked to do things for Kurt, which felt completely foreign, yet strangely comfortable. He smirked at Kurt and winked at him. "The Kurt Hummel seal of approval. That's high praise indeed."

Kurt rolled his eyes. Now that Sebastian was pleasant to be around, Kurt found himself oddly attracted to spending time with him. He tried not to think about it too much, and just let himself enjoy the food.

Over lunch, Kurt brought up _Downton Abbey_ as a topic of conversation. He was surprised by the depth of the answers and subsequent questions that Sebastian had. "So, did you watch it from the very beginning when it aired?"

Sebastian didn't answer right away. He carefully considered his words. "I didn't."

Kurt narrowed his eyes. "Actually, you couldn't have. The first season aired when you were in Paris. When did you watch it?"

He took a deep breath. "I started watching it when I went back after spring break. I've been using it as my stress-relief, escapism viewing." He spoke more quietly. "I've watched an episode every night before I go to sleep."

Kurt grinned, "So, you're telling me that you've watched the first season three times?"

Sebastian barely nodded.

Kurt flushed. _He's adorable when he's embarrassed._ "Thus the encyclopedic knowledge. It's impressive."

"Thanks." He took another deep breath. "I'll just be honest, I bought the DVDs watched it the first time just so we'd have something to talk about, but I really got into it."

 _Who knew he could be sweet?_ "The fourth season will start to air mid-September. I could come over and we could watch one episode a week building to the first episode of season 4. We could watch the new episode together every Thursday night when they air. I don't have a TV."

 _A standing date with the guy I want to date. Sounds perfect._ He agreed, "Sure." _I still need to figure out how to get him to not move out._

"I have a question."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows.

"Sam is coming this Thursday to go to his final interview at Hunter College. I was wondering if you mind if he stays here with me."

"Nope."

"Alright. I'll tell him to ask Santana."

"Wait. By 'nope', I meant – 'No, I don't mind.'"

Kurt's eyes lit up. "Oh. Thanks. I really appreciate it. Blaine will be here too. They had originally set the trip up to come together, but with what's gone on, Sam switched his flight. "

"That makes sense. Isn't it kind of late for auditions and interviews?"

"My audition was earlier last year, but they didn't send out the letters until really late. So, who knows?"

* * *

Wednesday afternoon, Kurt was walking from NYADA to the Conde Nast building when his phone began to ring. He answered it, despite not recognizing the incoming number. "Hello?" He could hear crying.

"Kurt?" a girl asked.

"Yes?"

"Um," she sniffed. "This is Marley Rose, from McKinley."

"Are you okay, Marley?"

"No. I miss Finn." She had to pause to try to get her crying under control. "Mr. Schue suspended me this afternoon."

"For what?"

"For refusing to wear the sea shell top bikini for our performance of 'Applause'. She explained about Throat Explosion, the assignment, and described what each of the guys was wearing. "He suspended me and won't even let me watch the others perform tomorrow. Finn wouldn't have let Mr. Schue kick me out like that just because I didn't feel comfortable in the costume. I performed like I was supposed to. I just wore a Katy Perry style lollipop sundress instead. I should have worn something black to fit in better. I realize that now." She was nearly sobbing. "But, I've never gotten in trouble for anything. I don't even know if he suspended me from school or just from Glee Club."

"Well, I'm 100% sure that he doesn't have the authority to suspend you from school. I'd go to school in the morning and talk to Figgins."

"Figgins is gone. Coach Sue is principal now."

"Great. Don't go to her. She's likely to disband the Glee Club over this. And you're right. Finn would not have suspended you over this. He had his own run-in with Mr. Schue about a costume."

"Really?" He breath hitched a bit, as her sobs abated to simply crying.

"Yeah. Mr. Schue decided that the Glee Club was going to perform _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ the fall of my junior year. Are you familiar with it?"

"No."

"Let's just say that the musical was not the right choice for people under 18 to put on." He paused. "The character Finn was portraying has to do a scene in his boxers."

"So, Finn had to do a scene in his underwear?"

"Yeah, and he was terrified, so he thought a good way to get over his fear was to just walk down the hall in his 'costume' and push through his nerves."

Marley laughed. "Sounds about right."

"Well, Figgins didn't take kindly to Finn parading down the hall in his boxers. I would think that Mr. Schue would grow up at some point. I wish this hadn't happened, but I'm going to fix this. You can show up to school tomorrow, even to Glee Club. I'm sure you'll be getting a call from Mr. Schuester at some point today telling you the same thing."

"Really?" She sounded a lot more cheerful.

"I'm sure of it. I need to let you go though, so I can make a call and not be late to work."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He hung up and called Carole.

"Hey, honey."

"I need to ask you a favor." He could tell that she had been crying.

"What's that?"

He took a deep breath. "Mr. Schuester suspended Marley from Glee Club for not wearing a sea shell top bikini during an in-class performance."

"He what?"

He repeated himself.

"Isn't she the one that passed out at Sectionals from having an eating disorder?"

"Yes. I'd like you to advocate for her. She's a sophomore. Of course, she doesn't want her mom to find out that she's been suspended. She doesn't want to worry her. I've been there. No one should be forced to wear a costume they aren't comfortable with in high school."

"I agree, honey. I'll call Will."

"Thanks."

* * *

Thursday morning, all of the students who were finalists descended upon NYADA for two days of auditions and classroom observations. Every class Kurt attended during the day had hopeful high school seniors in them, including Blaine in a couple that he shared with Rachel.

Kurt didn't interact with him despite Blaine's efforts at making eye contact with him. He did his best to focus on his classes and ignore the guests. He also opted not to attend the auditions. He saw Rachel ferrying Blaine around the school with her sycophants and socially acceptable classmates several times during the day. By the end of the day, he had a raging headache and was dreading Friday and Saturday.

* * *

Later that evening, Kurt met Sam at the airport. They took the subway back to the apartment. They hadn't talked the day before. He brought up the issue with Marley.

"Why on earth would Mr. Schue suspend her over not wearing something revealing that she wasn't comfortable wearing? Did he actually pick her outfit?"

Sam closed his eyes and sighed. "No, she was the only girl in our group, so she just ended up with the bikini from the music video."

"Tell me that you did not pressure her."

Sam sighed. "I can't tell you that because I'd be lying."

"Sam!" Kurt caught himself and lowered his voice. "She has an eating disorder. Just because she's not actively starving herself or throwing up doesn't mean that it went away. People don't stop being alcoholics because they stop drinking. She covers up because she feels safer that way. Safer from the eyes of the world who, in her mind, thinks she's fat. Wearing that costume in public could have triggered her to relapse. She should have been allowed to wear the iconic sea shell top over the top of a dress or something."

"None of us even thought about that. God, we're so stupid. Is she okay? How did you even know about it?"

"She called me. Carole took care of it. But you all need to think. People die from eating disorders."

"It's mostly my fault. I freaked out after watching the Throat Explosion videos. They're so out there. I wanted our Lady Gaga song to prove that the Katys in Glee Club wouldn't bring the Gagas down in a performance competition. I wanted to prove that we could be as much of a spectacle as they are. God, I feel awful. As soon as we get to your place, I call Marley and apologize. Between the stress from the fact that we haven't even started to practice for Nationals and the fact that I still don't even know what I'm doing after graduation, combined with the fact that it's hard to even be there with the overall tension in the group, I just let the whole thing get way over the top. We met Monday night and brainstormed and started on the costumes. We literally did not sleep Tuesday. We stayed after school and stayed in the auditorium overnight to get the costumes and the set done. Four cups of coffee did not help my ability to remain calm."

Kurt chuckled. "I'm sure it didn't. And I know full well about Mr. Schue's hyped-up ideas and how they get to you. Remember when I came in with the boards about how to beat the girls not long after you joined? I had stayed up half the night working on those."

"I remember. That was nothing compared to the insane costumes we did. What a mess! We wasted a whole week working really hard on something that actually makes no difference and we hurt Marley in the process." Sam leaned forward and propped his head on his hands for a few minutes. "I'm so tense about this interview. I know I'm going to get in there and just give stupid answers and ask stupid questions. I don't even know if I want to come here to go to school. I didn't even apply anywhere else. I only applied to Hunter because of the grant. Blaine's the one that found it back last fall when we were still 'besties'. He was trying to prove that there was a way for me to come with him to New York."

"We'll do a mock interview when we get home. I'll help you. We can look through the school website and other information we can find online and you can figure out whether you actually want to go to school there. And if you have any relevant questions to ask, you can put them in your phone."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, sure. After I call Marley."

* * *

Kurt had worked extra hours at Vogue earlier in the week to have free time to go with Sam to his interview late Friday morning. Kurt sat in the waiting area in the administration area. When Sam came out, he had a huge smile on his face. He waited until they walked away from the area to say anything.

Once they were outside the building, he pulled Kurt into a hug. "If you hadn't helped me practice over and over last night, I would have never made it through the interview." He let Kurt go. "I got it! I got the grant or scholarship. Whatever. It will cover my tuition and room, which just leave the cost of my food and my books. And she said based on my FAFSA, I'll get a Pell Grant that will cover my books and supplies."

"That's amazing, Sam. So, are you going to accept the offer?"

He nodded. "I feel like I owe it to myself to try. I have no idea if I can succeed, but I'm going to try. I'll give it my best, and if it's just not for me, at the end of the school year, I can leave and try something else.

"That's true. I know your campus tour starts soon. And you've got that modeling interview this afternoon. I've got to get to class. I'll meet you at the diner later. Dinner's on me as a congratulations on getting in."

* * *

Saturday morning, Kurt left Sam at the Central Park Zoo and headed to NYADA to take his turn sitting in the informational booths for the clubs he was a part of during the morning NYADA Club Fair for the prospective students. Kurt sat in three different booths for an hour each.

He saw Rachel flitting around with Blaine again, introducing him to people and showing him all of the 'right' clubs to join. Kurt was actually relieved that Rachel didn't think any of the clubs he was in were good enough. It kept him from having to interact with Blaine. Plus, if Blaine ended up choosing to attend NYADA, Kurt really didn't want him to join the clubs he was in the next fall. He spent his last hour sitting at the Apple's table with Adam, who persuaded him to agree to dinner Sunday night in exchange for helping him with running lines to prepare for one of his presentations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season 4 and the first half of Season 5 comprise the fourth school year. There is no way to fit 25 episodes into a 18-week spring semester, especially since it's said that there are three weeks between S5E2 and S5E3. I've taken some liberties with the timeline because of this. Blaine's audition and Sam's interview have been moved to this chapter, which takes place the third week in April, making both events take place just early enough in the year to make sense with students accepting offers from colleges in early May.


	15. Chapter 15

Thursday morning, Kurt was in the NYADA library proofreading a paper for the last time, when his phone vibrated in his pocket, startling him. He pulled it out to see who was calling. When he saw the incoming name, he swiped quickly to keep it from going to voicemail.

He answered very quietly. "Marley, I'm in the library. Give me just a couple of minutes to move out into the hall."

"Sure."

He hit save, closed his laptop, stuck it in his bag, and headed to the hall.

She sniffled several times before he managed to get to a place he could talk. She walked down to the front row of the auditorium and sat down.

"Okay. I can talk now. What's going on? You told me that the issue with being suspended had been taken care of."

She took a deep ragged breath, trying to get her crying under control. "It was. This isn't about that. It's about Jake." She started crying again. "He slept with Bree. She's the most horrible Cheerio. She's been after him for a while…" She paused taking a few deep breaths again. "I went over to his house after the whole bikini fiasco and he wanted me to…"

"I get it. And you didn't want to."

"I didn't. I don't. Not now. Not yet. I'm not ready."

"Which is perfectly fine. Did he know that?"

"Yeah. We'd talked about it before. He wanted to at the wedding, but he was nice about it then. But when I didn't want to go any farther last week, he told me that he used to lose girls' numbers if they didn't put out after six hours. When I said 'no', he went straight to Bree and she gave him what he wanted." She was full on sobbing. "He cheated on me on our three month-iversary, so he did wait a lot longer than six hours." Sarcasm mixed with the anguish in her voice. "She told me after school yesterday. Jake had already left. I didn't want to believe her. I convinced myself all evening that she was just saying it to hurt me, to mess with my head. But this morning, when I confronted him before school he admitted it. He said he was sorry, but being sorry doesn't fix it."

"It really doesn't."

"We shouldn't have helped with Blaine's proposal. How long had you two been together?"

"He proposed during the week that would have been our second anniversary, but we'd been broken up since the first week of October. We'd been together a little over a year and a half."

"Jake and I had only been together for three months."

"I don't think there a point in time where someone cheating on you isn't heartbreaking experience."

"Does it ever stop hurting?"

"The counselor I'm seeing showed me this drawing of a circle inside a square. The circle took up almost all of the space. There was a smaller ball, like a bouncy ball inside. When the bouncy ball bounced around it hit the circle every time it moved. The circle represents the pain from a traumatic event in our lives. There were several more squares, and in each one the large circle became smaller and smaller until it didn't take up that much space in the square anymore, but when the bouncy ball bounced around it still hit the circle sometimes. It really is like that."

"So, over time the painful thing comes to mind less frequently, but still hurts just as much as it did originally?"

"Not completely. When I look back, I know that I wanted to believe that I could be okay with the small circle, and everyone acted like I should be to the point where the original circle was no more than a speck, but I wasn't. I was pressured that day on the stairs. Everyone was looking at me with such hope in their eyes. I caved under the pressure, but I couldn't go through with it. I just couldn't. Every time I thought about him, my thoughts would eventually run into the circle of pain. I couldn't trust him. That wasn't the first time he had broken my trust. It was just the first time he had broken my heart. The morning after he told me, Finn was actually still in New York with us. He had gotten up early to leave for Lima. I told him that I felt like I was going to die. And that was true. I hurt so badly that I didn't think I'd survive."

"I just sang 'Wrecking Ball' on the stage to an empty auditorium." She sighed and bit the inside of her cheek.

"That's good. Letting the pain out helps. Bottling up really doesn't. I think there's some degree of healing with time. Just like if you cut yourself, it hurts the most right after you do it, but it's still sore for a long time. And if you get medical care, like getting stitches, medicine, and a bandage on it - that will make it heal faster. I think that's kind of like going to see someone and getting help. After I got some help, it did actually hurt less to think about it."

"I guess that makes sense. If someone breaks their foot, they have to wear a cast. I just think that walking into Glee Club is going to hurt too much. It's too soon. I don't even have a cast."

"Don't interact with him. You're friends with Unique. Tell her. She will keep you busy if you ask her too. She may not know what you're going through from firsthand experience, but she can help distract you, which is sort of similar to the bandage. She can be there to keep block him from getting close, a buffer."

"That's true – after she gives me her I-told-you-so looks, or maybe a look and a lecture. She tried to keep me from dating him to start with and told me in no uncertain terms that he was a womanizer who would break my heart."

"I don't know him, but if he told you he was used to waiting less than six hours for a girl to put out, the odds weren't that great that he was going to hold out for years for you to be ready. But that's no reason for you to do something you're not ready to do. It's just something you should consider before choosing a new dating partner at some point in the future. It's a lame comparison, but if someone is used to going out for ice cream every night of the week, you're probably going to have a hard sell to get them to convert to being a vegan and having steamed broccoli at home instead."

Marley laughed. "You're right. He just seemed so sincere."

"Lots of people are sincere on New Year's Eve. Resolutions abound and most don't last three months. I'm not putting any blame on you in this. People can change. And giving someone the benefit of the doubt isn't a bad thing. He hurt you and that's all on him. He knew you weren't ready when you started to date."

"I have to see him in Glee Club from now until Nationals."

"I get that. Blaine was here the end of last week and Rachel was showing him around campus. The idea of him being here and attending the same school I do actually makes me want to consider going to school somewhere else because he's charming and I don't want drawn back into that. And I know that you're facing attending school with Jake for two more school years after this one unless you move again."

"It just makes doing my favorite thing really hard. Seeing him will – will make me want to take him back."

"Been there, done that. Don't recommend. Stand firm. Figure out what you want for yourself. It's your life. You're living it. If you make choices that make you unhappy, there's no prize for that. Martyrdom doesn't really work out. I let people walk on me for years. It didn't make me happier. You have to find people who are willing to give things up for your benefit some of the time. That's the mutual giving of a friendship. Otherwise, you end up being taken advantage of. Being kind is good. Being a doormat is not."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for listening and for talking to me. I better run. I think if I get to Miss Pillsbury's office, she won't pay attention to how late I am in and she'll give me a pass for missing first period."

"Good plan. And you're welcome."

* * *

Friday afternoon, Sebastian received a note to stop by the office before the end of the day to pick up a package. He headed straight there after last period. He waited in line for a few minutes after he got there, all the while wondering who would send him something that wouldn't fit in his mail slot.

"Good afternoon, Sebastian." The secretary rotated her chair and grabbed a package the size of a shoebox and turned back to hand it to him. "Here you go!" She said cheerfully.

"Thanks."

"Mmm hmm." She moved on to the next student.

He took his box up to his room. He ran into Jeff on the way up.

"Whatcha got there?"

"I don't know. It doesn't have a return address on it, and I obviously haven't opened it yet."

"Well, I can tell you who it's from just from seeing the handwriting. I recognize that super neat capitals-only block print. It's from Kurt."

Sebastian wasn't interested in giving into Jeff's curiosity, so he just shrugged. "I guess I see when I open it later." He walked on past and down to his room. He let himself in and locked the door behind himself quickly to prevent any unannounced guests. He sat the box down and opened it carefully. Inside he found a very carefully wrapped loaf of the lemon poppy seed cake with the mini blueberries in it, with the slices wrapped up individually. He picked a slice up and smelled it, smiling all the while. He sat it down and read the note that had fallen out of the box.

_In addition to your favorite bread to give you energy during your tests, I've included brand new black Ticonderoga #2 pencils and a very trustworthy pencil sharpener along with a good eraser for you to use on your multitudinous AP Exams the next two weeks. The black pencils will give you an air of refinement not found in the traditional yellow, which will, I'm sure, increase your certitude in all matters pertaining to what you're being tested on._

He laughed. When he unwrapped the tissue paper, he was surprised to find that the pencils, eraser and sharpener were in a custom pencil roll, which made him laugh even harder because it was made from the leftover fabric from the curtains in his bedroom in New York. He unrolled it to find that not only were there the black pencils, the eraser, and a sharpener, it had a small metal ruler with cork on the back, room for three ink pens, a highlighter, his calculator, and already had a graph paper notebook the size of his calculator. He fished his calculator out of his bag and found that it fit perfectly. He pulled out his three favorite pens, blue, black, and green, as well as his highlighter and put them all in their slots. He realized that at some point, Kurt had measured his calculator and paid attention to his writing instruments. He shook his head and smiled. He pulled out his phone and texted Kurt.

-It seems that someone went a little _Sound of Music_ and turned my curtains into something very useful.

He got a nearly immediate reply.

-Oh, good it came.

He refrained from responding with the lewd comment about "coming" that came to mind. Instead he snapped a photo of everything in the case and sent it.

-Everything fits perfectly. 10/10 on the stealth.

-That's high praise indeed. I'm glad you like it. If you're frugal, you'll have enough bread to have a slice each day of your tests.

-Frugal is hard when it's so good.

-I'll make you more the next time you come.

-I'll be there in two weeks.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Kurt was waiting outside Miss July's office to go over his dance final performance and he needed something to take his mind off of it. It was his last critique of the semester.

He had turned his notifications for Twitter off after the proposal, but he decided to chance it and see what was going on in the Twitter-verse. He went to Tina's feed first, knowing that she would be the most likely one to post anything. He went back a week to look through her tweets.

_It looks like Artie, Sam, and I are headed to out east come fall. We sent in our acceptance letters to Hunter College, the Brooklyn Film Academy, and Brown today at lunch. Blaine's going to Oberlin. We'll miss him seeing him very often, but he says the school has a great music composition program._

A huge smiled made its way across Kurt's face. Cassie July opened the door to her office, and the previous student skittered away. She called Kurt's name.

"Hummel. Come on. I don't have all day."

He looked up. "Yes, of course."

"What's got you looking like the cat that got cream?"

He turned his phone off and put it in his bag and followed her into her office. "My ex-boyfriend, who got into NYADA, has opted to go to school in Ohio instead. Oberlin, to be precise, with a supposedly good music composition department."

"Well, that's certainly true," she said as she sat down in the left hand seat facing her laptop. "First off, I have to give you props for not wilting under my exacting teaching style. It's rare, but I'm impressed. You're not the next Baryshnikov, but you don't have two left feet, and you take direction well. Getting a role in the chorus that requires you to dance should not be a problem for you."

"Thank you. And no offense intended, but you're far less exigent than I've dealt with in the past. I'm pretty sure that Sue Sylvester is at the top of that list."

"You were a Cheerio."

"I was."

"That was you a few years ago, singing that Celine Dion medley. I didn't pay attention to the name at the time."

"That was me."

She raised her eyebrows and looked impressed, but said "Well, let's get to this." She pressed play and spent the next 30 minutes going over Kurt's performance."

He counted it a win when he didn't get called the equivalent of "sloppy baby" and she used the words "passable", "decent", and "acceptable" several times. She printed out a copy of her review and handed it to him.

"Don't show that around or I might have to claim that you falsified your grade."

He winked at her. "Got it. Enjoy your summer."

"I intend to."

* * *

Tuesday afternoon, Kurt jumped when pounding on the door startled him. He got up and looked out the peephole. He opened the door and ushered Santana in.

"I did it!" she exclaimed.

"Congratulations! What did you do? You already got a commercial, but you look significantly more pleased with yourself now than you did then. Do tell." Kurt went back into the living room.

"Rachel left the loft in a huff this morning because she had to be at the theater to sit through the understudy auditions. I surprised her by auditioning myself this afternoon. She was so angry. Before I came over here, Mr. Campion called and told me that I got the part. I have never see her so mad."

"Oh, my God, Santana! That's amazing! That is really exciting."

"I know, but Rachel is wigging out. She's acting like I'm going to sabotage her, which is nuts. I get paid whether I perform or not. I get to put the role on my CV whether I ever walk out on stage or not. I can afford to quit cage dancing at night and just work at the diner. I could quit the diner for what I'll get paid, but I'm not going to. I'm going to save up."

"It's really amazing. I'm happy for you, but I'm totally envious."

"I'm getting ready to go sign a lease with Dani on a place in Midtown West that's like a 10-minute walk to the diner and the theater. That's the other reason I came by. I told you I'd stay through May, but I can't. I won't bail on the rent, but you've got a few extra weeks to find someone else to move in with Rachel. Dani doesn't have any furniture of her own, so if you want to sell that couch, let me know."

"I have no idea. I haven't found any place that I'm willing to live. I may end up back at the loft in June myself. Give me a few days to think. I'll let you know by Friday, so you can take it with you when you move Saturday if I decide not to try to keep it. Even the places I didn't absolutely hate didn't have room for my bed and the couch."

"Why don't you just stay here?"

"This is Sebastian's place. He told me I could stay until mid-June, which is when he's moving here. For all I know, he's already got a roommate that will be moving in sometime this summer. He can't be the only Dalton student that got into Columbia."

"I guess. He just seemed pretty cool about you being here when I came over that day."

"I would assume he is. It was his idea. But like I said, he's never said anything about me being here past the middle of June."

"What are you doing anyway? Even with the windows open it stinks in here."

"I'm working on a project."

"I figured. It looks like a dresser drawer."

"It is. I'm restoring my mom's old dresser. I had Erik, one of the guys from our props department, come over to have a look at it. He made a new leg to match the other three. One of the drawers was broken, like it had been pulled out too far and fell to the floor. Erik fixed it too, and he put in a new drawer stop so it wouldn't happen again. The top had some water damage from where some one sat damp stuff on top of it at some point. He gave me some stuff to use on it to clean up the old finish. And then he helped me find the right product to make it look like it did when it was new. This is the last drawer. It's the one that was broken. I got it back from him Sunday night. I had to wait for the first stuff I used to dry. Once I finish this, it will look as good as it did when I was a kid."

"Seems like a lot of work."

"It has been. I've been working on it since last Friday. But I don't have much of hers and it means a lot to me."

"It matches the style of furniture in here."

"Yeah, it was hers growing up. So, it's actually vintage. This stuff is done in the same style, but it's new."

"How much longer until you can put on something besides those beat-up shorts and that hoodie? I want you to come with us to look at the apartment. Wear something that says, 'Don't fuck with me, or I'll disassemble your car.'"

Kurt laughed. "I'll do my best."

" I'm taking you and Dani to lunch afterwards, my treat – and not at Gray's Papaya."

"Well, that's a change. I accept. Let me get this coat on so it can dry while I'm gone."

* * *

Kurt spent the rest of his week-long break from school and Vogue week unpacking and sorting through everything in the boxes he had brought back from Lima, as well as staining his bed frame to match his mom's dresser. As Sebastian suggested, he put some of the things he had brought back on the large wood unit in the living room. With the curtains and the decorations, it looked a lot more homey.

Sunday morning, he ventured out to his favorite flea market and found an amazing six-compartment, vintage, cantilevered wood sewing box on legs. He spent the afternoon organizing all of his sewing stuff.

That evening, Kurt's final act of relaxation was to make dinner with Adam. They enjoyed a night in of watching _Doctor Who_.

* * *

Monday morning, Kurt was up bright and early to head to NYADA for his voice class. He had opted to take just the one class on Monday/Wednesday/Friday so that he could get more hours in at Vogue. Tuesday and Thursday, he went to the CUNY branch in the Bronx for his English Intensive Writing course, which was focusing on the writings of Darwin, Freud, and Einstein. He found it to be an interesting break from the traditional English Literature courses he had taken before. He had chosen Environmental Science to fulfill his science requirement since it had not been an option in high school. His classes were two and a half hours long each.

Thursday evening, he got home a 10:30 to find a note on the door again, alerting him to Sebastian's presence in the flat. He knocked gently before opening the door. Sebastian was standing in the kitchen staring at the fridge. Kurt closed and locked the door and then stood there.

"Hey. I didn't expect to see you until tomorrow. And, yes, I know how surprises work. How did your exams go?"

He turned to look at Kurt. "They went well, I think. I didn't feel like I was being asked things I didn't know the answers to, so I hope I did well. Thanks again for the loaf of bread. It was really delicious." He turned back.

"You're welcome. Why are you staring so intently at the fridge?" There were a few recipes Kurt had photocopied from magazines and his shopping list on the front of the fridge, but nothing of that much interest.

"I'm looking at your schedule. And doing the calculations."

NYADA  
M/W/F 8-10

CUNY  
T/R 8-1:30

Diner  
M/W/F 4-10  
T/R 6-10  
Sat 6-2  
Sun 6-10

Vogue  
M/W/F 11-3  
T/R 2:30-5:30

"You're going to school full time, working at the diner 38 hours a week and at Vogue 18 hours a week. I thought you were going to take it easy over the summer. Get some rest. Have some fun."

"I left room in my schedule for fun on Sundays after I get off at the diner until dinnertime. I've scheduled in going to flea markets and doing my grocery shopping for then."

"Babe, if you think grocery shopping is allowed to be on the part of your day assigned for 'fun', then we really need to talk about what you think the word 'fun' means."

"Don't call me 'babe'. And don't take that condescending tone with me." Kurt walked off towards his room. "I'm going to shower and go to bed."

_Fuck! Not even five minutes, and we're back to where we were two months ago. Why can't I stop sticking my foot in my mouth?_


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: One brief instance of LGBT slurs.

Sebastian took a deep breath and sighed. When he had gotten the care package, he was on cloud nine. Not only had Kurt been thinking about him, he had also actually spent time working on surprising him. He had put so much care and effort into it. _Why does it bother him so much that I care about him?_

He moved to the living room and plopped down on the couch. He rotated and flopped onto his back and started at the ceiling. He rolled his head to the left and he could see the items Kurt had put on the wood unit – an autographed football, a photo of him in a lion costume when he was maybe six, the small painting he had picked up at the flea market when they had gone together, his textbooks stacked on their sides from largest to smallest like a pyramid, and a variety of other small things he hadn't seen before.

He looked to his right and admired the small bouquet of mixed orange and yellow small flowers he didn't know the names of in a lovely vintage milk glass vase with fluted edges. The bouquet brightened the room. _Like Kurt._

He closed his eyes for a minute, and his train of thought switched quickly. He pulled his phone out and looked up how much waiters made an hour. He was shocked to find that minimum wage for tipped servers was $5 an hour, plus a $2.25 an hour tip credit, which he read about carefully. Kurt's take home pay would vary because of tips, of course, but if he worked 38 hours a week, he was making $275.50 plus tips minus the tip credit, minus taxes. _That's only enough to cover the cost of the loft, plus keeping the water and electricity on._ The 18 hours a week at Vogue probably didn't pay much more the minimum wage either, which meant that he had maybe $130.50 minus taxes a week from that. _He needed the second job to cover all of his other expenses._

_God, I am a condescending ass. If he doesn't work that much, he can't afford to live in the City. I'm a spoiled, arrogant, condescending ass._

He put his phone back and closed his eyes again. He thought back through their conversation back in March. He had told Kurt that he could stay in the apartment, but Kurt didn't want to be a charity case. Sebastian had told him that he wouldn't be moving in until June and the place would just be sitting empty, but had he ever actually told Kurt that he could stay? He remembered thinking about telling him. He remembered wanting to ask him to stay, but had he ever actually done it? He came to the conclusion that he hadn't actually shared that with Kurt.

* * *

The bathroom door opened and Kurt came out in his pajamas. Sebastian sat up.

They both started talking at the same time.

"I want to apologize. We agreed not to walk off when we're upset."

"Can I talk to you for a few minutes?"

Kurt answered first. "Sure."

"I saw that you have class in the morning. I won't keep you up long."

Kurt nodded. "Give me a sec." He went in his room and came back without his dirty clothes. He sat down on the other section of the sofa. He criss-crossed his feet in front of him and sat with his hands in his lap.

"I accept your apology and I want to apologize as well. After you got upset and walked off, I thought about what I had said. For one thing, I know that no one likes to be practically ambushed when they come home. You always shower when you come back from work. I should have given you time to do that. And you're right. I was condescending. I looked up minimum wage and I read about how waiters' pay is calculated."

"Yeah, it sucks when I get stiffed for several hours, and then I get one person who tips well. Gunther takes all of my tips for my whole shift and divides them by the number of hours I've worked, and then deducts $2.25 per hour from my tips. And whatever is left is what I get above minimum wage."

"What about the tips in the jar for songs?"

"Those get divided between everyone, so I only usually get maybe $3-5 per shift from that. Oh, and I lose 3% of all tips that are left on a credit card to cover my portion of the credit card service fee. So, for a 6-hour shift, with $30 in tips, I end up making $60, minus taxes. Gunther pointed out that at least I didn't live in one of the 15 states where the minimum server wage is $2.13. I'd have $5.12 an hour deducted from my tips for each hour I worked. I made better money working at my dad's shop in high school."

"Wait, so why don't you do that here?"

"There was just the lure of working on Broadway as a singing waiter and the ridiculous notion that maybe some producer or casting director would come into the diner and hear me sing and offer me a role. I've actually been considering quitting, but the other thing is that being a mechanic is a day job. It's the kind of thing that would be good to do once I graduate and start to audition for roles and maybe even keep once I get one. With working at Vogue and going to school, I don't have enough daytime weekday hours available for anyone to be willing to hire me as a mechanic, but I'm keeping up with my certifications, in case I do need a fallback."

"That's good."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, Santana is Rachel's understudy for Fanny."

Sebastian about choked from laughing. "I bet Rachel hates that."

"Immensely. Anyway, they got into a big fight last week. Rachel slapped Santana. They actually both moved out of the loft. Santana and Dani found an amazing, small 1-bedroom place in the Theater District that's a 10-minute walk from the diner. They moved in this past weekend. Rachel moved somewhere near or in the Theater District as well on Sunday. Her dads already sent me the money to cover the rest of her share of the rent. "

"I see."

"I want to show you the dresser." Kurt got up and went into his room.

Sebastian followed him. "It looks great. You told me about Erik helping you figure out how to bring it back to life. It's hard to believe that's the same dresser." Sebastian turned around and looked around the room. "Your bed looks great too."

"Thanks. I've gotten everything organized. It will be a lot smoother move back to the loft since I won't be trying to pack everything in two hours like the last time. I've been looking at some wardrobes ideas. When I move back, I don't want my clothes out in the open this time. Very few of the places I looked at actually had closets, so it will be a good investment for next fall."

"You've been busy and it all looks really good." _And I want it all to stay here with you._ "I'll let you get some sleep." He went to his own room. He shut the door behind him and slid down the door and sat on the floor with his knees pulled up. He leaned his head forward and propped his forehead on his crossed forearms. _God, I'm a mess. This is why I didn't want to do relationships. Kurt Hummel, what have you done to me?_

* * *

A few minutes later, Sebastian was still sitting against the door when he heard Kurt lightly knock on his door.

"Sebastian?"

Sebastian stood up and opened the door.

"I'd really like to know why you were so upset. I know I need to sleep, but I'll just end up laying there wondering what's going on instead of sleeping. Come out and talk to me, please? We agreed to stop doing the walking off in a huff thing, even though this time it was more like walking off in disappointment, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't about how low minimum wage is since you hadn't even looked that up yet when you got upset earlier." Kurt went back and sat where he had been earlier on the sofa, but didn't turn the living room lights on. The room was just faintly lit from the lamps from their bedrooms illuminating the alcove.

Sebastian sat down took a deep breath. "Whether you wanted to or not, over the last ten weeks, you've become the best friend I've had in a long time. Think about it. This is my last weekend of being a high school student and instead of partying it up with the Warblers and the other seniors, I'm here with you. I was disappointed when I found your schedule reminder on the fridge and I saw that you were going to be gone most of the weekend."

"Oh."

"And then after I actually thought about it while you were in the shower, I realized that your schedule is so tight that you couldn't have traded with someone to get more time off on the weekend, even if you had wanted to. That's when I looked up how much servers make like I said earlier."

Kurt shook his head. "All I could have done was give the shifts up. I took the week off from Vogue last week to work on the dresser and bed and organizing everything, so I need the money. I have to pay the next three months on the loft. Santana told me she wasn't staying _after_ I had already scheduled the week off, but I really did need the time off to get those things done for my own peace of mind. I'd basically been paying to put off doing the difficult emotional work of sorting through everything for two and a half years, and I had kept some of it stored in my closet for nine years before that."

"My initial response at seeing your schedule was that I was frustrated that you weren't going to be home very much while I'm here this weekend. You have to go to bed when you get home, eliminating us having time to watch movies together, and you'll have to study at some point too. And seeing how much you're still working just upset me further. I thought that Santana taking over your part of the rent would allow you to work fewer hours, giving you more free time. And I didn't know that had changed until you just said so."

Kurt looked up at him. "Wait. You came to spend the weekend with me?"

"I came the last time to spend the weekend with you."

"You told me that it was to chase your small town blues away. I thought that was a euphemism for being bored in Ohio."

"It was a euphemism for wanting to spend time with you. I would have come another weekend in between then and now, but the lacrosse coach added weekend practices, so I was stuck at school." He bit his lower lip. "God, this is hard. I told you I have a hard time opening up to people."

"Me too." He got up and moved to sit next to Sebastian. "We've been texting and talking for ten weeks now. And as much as it pains me to say it, you're my best friend now too." He bumped his shoulder up against Sebastian's and sat back up. "But in all honesty, I'm still not used to you not trying to secretly sabotage me. And before you get upset, listen."

"Okay."

"My experience with friendship isn't really stellar – Rachel, Blaine, Santana, Mercedes, Tina, and even Brittany. Although I'm sure that my actions had a role in that. Rachel suddenly ran for class president against me, dropped out at the last moment, and then stuff the ballot box with ballots with my name on them causing me to be disqualified. Don't bother asking a logical question. 'McKinley' is the answer. Blaine agreed not to audition for Tony, like the rest of the seniors had, so I could have something decent to put on my CV, but when asked, he read for it and they gave it to him. I saw it happen with my own eyes from the overlook in the auditorium. Oh, and he sang 'Something's Coming' as his audition song. Santana's been a bitch to me for years. She's singing a new tune now, but how long will that last? Mercedes – I won't get into that now because it's a long story. Tina had been my friend for three years, but after Blaine cheated last fall, she turned on me and took his side."

"I see your point."

"You and I are friends now. We still have our communication issues, but we're working on it. I have some behavior to unlearn as well. Trust is difficult, so I understand your struggle to open up. It's a risk."

Sebastian steeled himself and spoke. "Cards on the table. I don't want you to move out. I died a little on the inside every time you brought up looking for a place and sounded hopeful about it. I want you to stay and be my roommate for the summer and see how that works out. I don't have anyone lined up to move in with me in the fall. I had actually never given that any consideration. I was just going to live here alone, but you're like those flowers on the table. You brighten up this place and my life."

Kurt was stunned silent.

"You hate the idea."

"Don't jump to conclusions so fast. When you open up, you go big." He nudged Sebastian. "No one has ever told me that I brighten their life, other than my dad, sort of. He tended to use the word 'colorful', which of course gives it a different tone, something I only realized when I was older.

"Shall I throw out all of the stops and sing an appropriate song to enhance the scene?" He began to sing.

_You light up my life._

Kurt burst out laughing. He leaned into him. "That's enough. That's enough."

Sebastian stopped singing. "So will you stay?"

"I'll consider it."

"That's better than no." He got up and went to his room to give Kurt space. “I'll let you think about it."

* * *

While Kurt was spending his 16-hour day away from the apartment going to class and working both of his jobs, Sebastian spent the early morning lounging around.

He had planned to go out to do some shopping for some new summer clothes, but he only wanted to do that if Kurt went with him. He smiled thinking of how much fun he had riling Kurt up by showing him the most awful things that he would never wear while pretending they were his favorite items.

After he finally got up, he made himself breakfast and got dressed. He spent the rest of the morning trying to come up with possible ways that he could keep Kurt from moving back to the loft in three weeks. He wrote down the only option that seemed like a possibility and kept it out to discuss with Kurt.

Before lunch, he left the apartment to explore the neighborhood more. He set an alarm and texted Kurt at 3:20, giving him time to see it before he clocked in at the diner. He got a reply about 15 minutes later. His eyes lit up as a smile appeared on his face.

* * *

Sebastian ladled the soup out when he heard the shower turn off. Kurt put on a t-shirt and his pajama pants quickly, leaving his hair wet, and sat down with Sebastian.

"This looks really good. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I know you have to leave even earlier tomorrow, so I won't keep you up after we finish."

"I do. By taking the breakfast and lunch shift on Saturday, I can have free time during the mid-afternoon to do my weekly shopping at a leisurely pace, do my laundry, meal prep for the next week, and eat a nice hot dinner before I do schoolwork. And Sunday, I get off early enough to go to the flea market and have time to work on things I want to do before I have dinner and go back to being studious afterwards."

"Would it be alright if I meet you at the diner when you get off and go shopping with you?"

Kurt looked up at Sebastian and raised an eyebrow. "You want to go grocery shopping with me?"

"Yes?"

Kurt chuckled. "You sound a bit undecided," he teased.

"Well," he took a deep breath and let it out. "I came to spend the weekend with you and I have to leave at 4:00 on Sunday to fly back to Ohio. And I know you have to study tomorrow evening. So, yes, I want to go grocery shopping with you. I'm sure you've found the best place by now."

Kurt blushed just slightly at the praise and confidence Sebastian had in his skills. He nodded. Kurt reached out to take a slice of the loaf of French bread to dip in his soup.

"You have a tattoo," he said incredulously.

Kurt pulled his other hand out from under the table and turned his wrists so that Sebastian could read them. "I have two."

"They're completely healed. You've had them for a while."

"Seven weeks tomorrow. They healed well. I followed the skin care guidelines to the T." He went back to eating.

Sebastian just nodded.

"You're not going to tease me?"

Sebastian looked confused. "Why would I tease you? I think the expressions are inspiring. And I think you're like Superman. You may not be leaping actual tall buildings, but you've managed to clear quite a few huge obstacles in your life already."

"The words aren't referring to super heroes."

"I think they're from songs actually. Or inspired by songs."

"They are." He didn't expand on his affirmative answer. He focused on finishing his food. "I'm sorry to eat and run off to bed." He stacked his silverware on his plate and grabbed his glass.

"I'm not offended. I don't have to get up at 5am." He put his dishes into the dishwasher. "I'll see you at the diner then – at 2:00,” he called out since Kurt had already gone off towards his room.

"I'll be there."

* * *

"I asked for medium rare. This is medium well. This won't do."

Sebastian looked back covertly to see who was making such a fuss. Unfortunately, it was a man seated in Kurt's section. He turned back and took a sip of the strawberry milkshake he had ordered.

Kurt scurried off with the man's plate and took it back into the kitchen, where Sebastian knew it would be dumped into the trash.

 _What a waste_.

He saw one of the servers finally notice his song request in the jar. She took it over and handed it to Kurt. He took a deep breath, stuck the card in his pocket, and put the $5 bill in the song tip jar.

He showed the card to the keyboardist, the drummer, and to Dani, who picked up the bass guitar. Dani sang the small high harmony parts.

 _Life is a mystery.  
Everyone must stand alone.  
I hear you call my name.  
And it feels like home._  
…

_Let the choir sing–_

All of the servers joined in and sang back up from that point on.

_It's like a dream to me._

Kurt bowed slightly and left the stage. He returned to the kitchen to retrieve the contrary customer's new meal to serve it to him.

"No way. Uh, uh. What are you some kind of he/she cross-dressing tranny?"

The guy was up and out of his seat and on his way out the door before Kurt even managed to get the plate sat on the table. He took it back to the kitchen, quickly put on gloves, disassembled the burger, and wrapped the patty in foil. He put it in the oven to cook it the rest of the way since wasn't fond of medium rare meat.

Sebastian looked directly at Kurt when he came back out, but Kurt shook his head ever so slightly. Sebastian looked away. Kurt grabbed a dish tub, collected the rest of the items from the man's table, and wiped it down. He took everything back to the kitchen. He went out and made one more round of his area to make sure the tables were all clean and that no one needed anything from him. He collected the bills for the two tables in his section that still had customers.

He dropped the tickets and credit cards off with Gunther and went back in the kitchen. He reassembled the burger, cut it in half, and packaged it to go. He ate the fries quickly, grabbed the credit card slips for the customers to sign, and returned to the dining area to get their signatures. He bid them a good day, turned the signed slips in, and cleaned their tables as soon as they left.

Back in the kitchen area, he clocked out, changed, and freshened up quickly. He grabbed the burger, made himself a fresh diet coke to go, and pulled the money out of his wallet to cover half the cost of the meal. He gave it to Gunther on his way out with the unpaid customer's bill. "See you at breakfast tomorrow."

Kurt slung his bag over his shoulder and headed for the door. Sebastian had already paid his bill and followed him out the door.

* * *

"Does that happen often?"

"Not really like that, no. But it's far from the first time that a customer has walked out without paying or refused to pay after they've eaten part or most of a meal. At least this time the man hadn't touched the plate or the food, so I claimed it as my half-comp meal for the day."

"What does half-comp mean?"

"It's Gunther's word for the $5 meal that we are allowed to purchase from the $9.99 meals."

"And if you hadn't been able to do that? Like if the guy had touched it?"

"I'd have had to cover the cost of the meal."

"So, if a table of four people skips out?"

"The most I've ever ended up losing was $41." Kurt stopped down the block and sat on a bench. He took the burger out, unwrapped it, and gave half of it to Sebastian.

Sebastian accepted graciously. "I feel bad about what happened after the song. I was the one that requested it. You mentioned being a big Madonna fan and knowing a lot of her songs. And you also mentioned not getting to sing at the diner very often. I just thought it would be something fun."

"The customer was a bigot. That's certainly not on you. Don't steal blame from those who earned it."

"Wise words."

"I should have them tattooed on myself. It's a phrase I made up dealing with everything this spring when my counselor kept telling me to stop accepting responsibility for other people's choices." Kurt leaned back and closed his eyes for a few seconds. He heard Sebastian take a deep breath, so he opened his eyes. "Is something wrong?"

"No." He stood up. "Come on. I'll tell you while we walk. What I've been thinking about that might be overstepping my boundaries. Feel free to tell me if I do, but listen first, okay?"

"Okay." Kurt got up and walked alongside him. "Does this involve you singing Debby Boone songs again?"

"It might."

Kurt laughed. "Go on, then."


	17. Chapter 17

Before Sebastian had a chance to share his idea, Kurt said, "I really appreciate you opening up Thursday night. We haven't really had a chance to talk since then, but I've had a lot of time to think. You've done nothing to contradict your words in the last ten weeks. You've done everything to prove yourself. You've even laid off the innuendo, which I am sure has been quite a challenge for you."

"Yeah."

"The 'babe' slipped out the other night and I overreacted. Adam calls me 'love' and I don't get mad about that. They're both just terms of endearment."

Sebastian nodded. "Mmm hmm."

"I spent a lot of time thinking about what you asked. Moving back into the loft will add an hour to my commute to my summer CUNY classes. Staying with you doesn't provide any relief to my financial situation, so that's not a factor. I went through a list of pros and cons. When I'm honest with myself, I have to admit how much I enjoy spending time with you. You listen, really listen. That's different than you waiting for your turn to talk, which is what I'm used to. You don't interrupt and talk over me to steer the conversation back to your pet topic."

Sebastian chuckled. "You're interesting. We have interesting conversations."

"We do."

"One of them is going to be why you have an autographed football on display."

Kurt laughed. "Sure, but not right now."

"Of course not."

"I don't want to wipe our slate clean because I've enjoyed getting to know you. I want to build on the friendship we've created, so I've made a conscious decision to push away the constant fear that this is going to bite me in the butt somehow."

"Only if you're into that kind of thing," he teased.

"Sebastian! I just complimented you on keeping the lewd comments under control."

He cackled and shoulder-bumped Kurt. "You walked right into that one. Sorry, not sorry."

"Fine." He shook his head, but he was smiling too. "My big problem with those types of comments directed towards me is that they're just a reminder of everything I'm not."

Sebastian stopped.

Kurt turned back. "What?"

"How could me making suggestive comments make you feel like I'm pointing out your deficits?"

"Because no one sees me that way. No one. So, when you say those kinds of things I'm just reminded of that."

"When I admitted to you that I thought you were gorgeous the day I met you, I wasn't lying. And I wasn't just saying something to rile you up. When I said that New York looked good on you that was a real compliment."

Kurt moved them off the sidewalk towards a stairwell that led down to a basement entrance and sat down. "You're telling me that it wasn't just part of the shtick you said you came up with to get my attention that day?"

"I don't recall saying anything that day that wasn't true. I confessed that I liked you, and for a spur-of-the-moment effort to be open and honest with you, I did my best. Maybe it didn't come out sounding sincere because I was so freaking nervous. I mean my worldview went from 'Kurt is unavailable and has been for the whole time I've known him' to 'Kurt's been single for five months and he's not getting back together with Blaine.' Suddenly the guy that I had a crush on was available. What I said to you before you called it off with him wasn't teasing, it was flirting that I expected to be rebuffed for, but it wasn't teasing."

Kurt looked dumbfounded and a bit scared to hear the answer to his question. "So, you legitimately find me attractive?"

"Yes. Is that so hard to believe?"

"It is. Really. Even Blaine didn't find me attractive."

"So, you asked me to stop flirting with you because you thought I was saying things to tease you?"

"Yeah, it felt like sarcasm in a way. You know, people say 'Ooh, I just _love_ that outfit when they mean the exact opposite. You used to insult my looks. You implied that my gay face would keep me from getting out of Lima and being successful. I know we've moved past that, but you not insulting me didn't make me think that you had somehow changed your mind. I just thought you were keeping your opinions to yourself. You flirting instead of the insulting me just seemed like an opportunity to insult me sarcastically, while not saying anything mean."

"I want to settle this permanently. I never, ever thought you were unattractive. I thought you were gorgeous, a little bitchy, sassy, and determined to keep what was yours. That was my first impression. Later, I found you to be loyal, still determined, plus compassionate and forgiving. You could have used that tape to get me in a lot of trouble, but you gave it to me instead."

"Yeah, I pissed Santana off royally by doing that."

"I'm sure. You fired verbally. I responded verbally. I hit at what I figured were your vulnerable spots – your looks and your fear of losing what was yours. I'm not proud of what I did, but I'm fallible and do stupid things sometimes. Do I wish I had just sat there and let you berate me? No. I'm not a doormat. I won't tolerate that from anyone. But I didn't have to fire back with such hurtful things. We've been through this. You said you lashed out at Dave, saying things to hit him where it hurt."

"I did try to hit him where it would hurt, but I didn't say the opposite of what I meant."

"Well, it wouldn't have made any sense if I had said, 'Well, I think you're super hot and I wish I were emotionally available in a way that would make me a better boyfriend to you than Blaine.'"

Kurt laughed. "No, I suppose not. I wouldn't have believed you if you had said anything nice anyway. You're right."

"You don't believe me now."

"Not really."

"Honestly, I never quit crushing on you, but I stepped back and moved myself far enough away that I hoped it would go away. I mean you weren't available, so what was the use in me continuing to crush on someone unavailable? That's why I didn't know you had broken up with him. I wasn't stalking you. I was forcing myself to keep my distance."

"Been there, done that – the crushing on someone unavailable. I get what you mean by keeping your distance."

"And after you called it off, I've held back for two reasons. I knew that starting a new relationship wasn't anywhere on your priority list. And then a couple of weeks later, you had much more pressing issues to deal with. "

"Yeah."

"My opinion hasn't changed though. I still think you're gorgeous, and now that I've gotten to know you, I like you even more now than I did back then. When you don't use that sass and snark to tear me down, it's hot."

Kurt laughed.

"The second reason is that I'm not interested in being your rebound. If you can't ever see me as anything besides your best friend, I still want that. And if I let myself be your rebound, that's never going to be how things turn out. I already had my heart broken once. I'm not going to willingly step into the line of fire, knowing that my heart's at stake."

Kurt tipped his head a bit and turned to look at Sebastian. "You said you had tried hooking up twice and were in a long-term friends-with-benefits arrangement in France."

"That's true. I haven't lied to you about anything. I just didn't continue on with the story. I did agree to a friends-with-benefits arrangement. It just turns out that I don't seem to be the type to be able to have sex with someone on a consistent basis and keep my feelings and heart out of it. After I was back in Ohio, I missed him, but I also missed the sex, so once I had moved on a bit, I tried the random hookups thinking that I could at least scratch one itch, so to speak, but it didn't work."

"So you fell in love with…"

"Jean. Yes, I did. And no, I never told him. He had already found someone to replace me the week I left. Henri told me."

"That's sad."

"For me, but clearly not for him. If I had been able to maintain my neutrality, it would have been fine, but it really hurt. Even though I had agreed to it, feeling like I was nothing but a body was really hard. I didn't go into it wanting a relationship, and obviously, Jean continued on that way to the end."

"And I hit you with how much I didn't like you and insulted you."

"Yeah, but even if you hadn't, I wasn't ready to be in a relationship back then. I was too angry. I needed time to grow up. I'm not saying I'm a paragon of adulthood now, but I have actually learned a lot since then. Counseling helped me get my anger sorted out. I'm in a much different place than I was a year and a half ago when we met."

"I get that. I've seen it firsthand. I need some time to think about what you've said. Can we go back to the topic where I might think you're overstepping your bounds that you wanted to tell me about?"

"Yeah, sure." He stood up from the steps and waited for Kurt before he started walking again. "So, I did some research and I called my dad. You could offer your landlord most of the money he'd make from your rent, the improvements you made, and offer to move out – that way he can re-lease the place now and make basically double rent on a couple of months this summer." He went into more detail explaining the idea.

"So, this idea benefits you because you get what you want, which is for me to stay. And it benefits me because I can live closer to everything. And the cherry on top is that you'll let me live with you for free."

"That's the gist of it, yes." He flashed Kurt an award winning smile and winked at him.

"Let's take the Metro out to Bushwick and see what condition the girls left the loft in. We'll do whatever needs done and work on an offer to present to the super."

Sebastian tried to keep his cool, but his excitement leaked out anyway. "Seriously? You're saying 'yes'?"

"I'm saying that I'm willing to go give it a shot."

* * *

They dragged themselves up the stairs at nearly 8:00.

Sebastian said, "I was looking forward to making dinner with you, but I'm glad we ate at the restaurant inside the Mexican market. The food was really good. And the store has a nice selection of basics. The produce department wasn't big, but everything was fresh, and the butcher shop at the back was a big surprise. I'm definitely going back. I'm looking forward to giving the different types of cheese I bought a try."

"I went inside every grocery and market in a 4-block radius and Mercado sin mancha won hands down. Every week, I use some of the money I save by going there to buy one of their treats."

They worked together to put the groceries away.

"Well, you've won me over."

Kurt pulled out two large parfait cups with tres leches cake in them. "I bought an extra one for you as a thank you for helping me end the lease." He showed it to Sebastian.

"That looks amazing."

"It tastes even better." He put both containers in the refrigerator.

"How much schoolwork do you have to do tonight?"

"Well, now that my improvements and the appliances were accepted in lieu of one month's rent, and he kept my deposit in lieu of two months rent, I'm not so hard pressed to work so much. I'll keep the money the Berrys sent since I paid the deposit originally, and I paid for all of the improvements. I would have had to pay $2700 out that I'm not going to have to pay now, so, $3600 back after putting $2700 more in, would have netted me $900 by September."

"I wish I could have gotten him to agree to just accept two months total expenses, instead of the full three. He got everything, plus he can rent the place for more now that it has appliances, plus he can rent it for three months this summer, giving him double rent all summer."

"I know, but my obligation is over and I figured there was no chance I'd get back the money I put into the carpentry, plumbing, and electrical expenses, so I'm actually better off than I had expected. I have $2700 instead of $900, which means I did get back what I put into the improvements. He may have won more than I did, but it was still a win/win for me. No more loft hassles."

"That's true."

"You asked about schoolwork and I got sidetracked. Since I no longer have the financial responsibility for the loft, I offered Dani my Monday evening shift when she was helping me carry up one of the cushions for the couch, so I can move the schoolwork I had planned to do tonight to tomorrow night, and then do what I had planned to do tomorrow night on Monday instead. I'm all yours."

Sebastian's heart swooned, even though he was sure that Kurt didn't mean it that way. _Not yet._ He still held out hope though.

"What about you? Don't you have to study for finals?"

"The teachers held open office hours the last two weeks during our AP Exams. Nothing new has been taught in the last two weeks. We get an hour to review in our classrooms, so we can ask the teachers questions. Afterwards, we get two hours to take each final exam. And we only have one exam on Wednesday afternoon, giving us extra time to study that morning. I'm not concerned. I didn't even bring my textbooks. I have plenty of books to choose from to read for pleasure."

"That's true." Kurt folded up his duffle and put it back in his backpack and went to his room to put it away. He stepped around the end of the laundry closet. "I'm going to go ahead and shower, if that's okay. I have to go to bed in two hours, but we can watch something for a while or talk. Whatever you want."

Sebastian tamped down his automatic suggestive reply. "I brought some board games from home when we brought my stuff in the U-Haul. I have Scrabble, Boggle, Blockus, and Stratego. I have Uno and a deck of regular cards too."

"Blockus sounds fun. We can talk while we play that. Or Uno. The others I like, but I'm too tired to put that much effort into thinking tonight after only five hours of sleep and hauling furniture down and up stairs. But I did make back what I put into the furniture that I left behind for them to use, so there's that."

"I'll get both out and set Blockus up while you're in the shower."

Ten minutes later, they switched places and Kurt put the kitchen stuff they brought back from the loft in the dishwasher and loaded his uniforms into the washer while he waited for Sebastian. He also picked up the mail and sat down at the table. He opened only real piece of mail he got. After he finished reading, he put his head down on his forearm on the table, which his how Sebastian found him, silently crying.

Sebastian sat down across from him despite the fact that he wanted to run his hand down Kurt's back to comfort him. _I'm officially a sap. A sappy, sap who wants to be touchy-feely and comfort the guy I like._ "Hey, what happened?"

"Read the letter."

Sebastian picked it up and looked at it. "So because Finn died and your family size went from four to three and from two college students to one, you're no longer eligible for a school loan for next school year."

"That's what it says. They recalculated my Expected Family Contribution. Even if I keep working as much as I am right now, I can't make $15,000 to make up for the loan."

"No offense, but I got the impression that your family isn't well off."

"In terms of savings and liquid assets, no. But on those FAFSA forms, parents have to list the property they own, which includes the shop and all of the tools inside. That's a lot of money. Plus, my dad's job as a congressman requires him to maintain a home in Ohio and a residence in DC. So, he's renting a place in DC, which is just as expensive as living in New York City. And he has to cover the cost of his airfare back and forth. He also lost the income he earned from working at the shop because he had to hire someone new. So, yes, he makes more money than he did before, but he also has a lot of expenses he didn't have before. The cancer treatment set them back money they could have saved. Plus, I was the one who wanted to go to such an expensive school. 'Premier Broadway training' means very expensive."

"Do you want me to put the game back away?"

"No. There's nothing I can do about this tonight. I'll call my dad tomorrow evening after I've had time to do some research. You can go first." He hopped up and started the washer.

* * *

"Well, congratulations. You are the first person to ever beat me at this game."

Kurt pulled their tres leches cake out of the fridge, grabbed two spoons, and put everything on the table.

"A spoon?"

"You'll see. You've really never lost?" He moved his clothes to the dryer before sitting back down.

"Nope." He took the lid off his and put the first bite in his mouth and moaned. "This is dangerously good."

"I told you. They have different kinds, like a flavor of the week maybe. I've had caramel apple, chocolate, and strawberry, plus this lemon one."

"I'd try the others, but my hunch is that this will be my favorite."

"You love lemon."

"I do."

Kurt put a piece on the board.

* * *

"Sebastian Beaumont Smythe, no, just no."

"But, babe, you said how good I look in green." He winked at Kurt.

"Green, like the color of pine trees or ferns. Plus, where would you wear a neon green satin shirt?"

"A club?"

"Well, be sure to go to one with black lights. You will be sure to attract the attention of _everyone_ in the club, _babe_."

"Only you could make 'babe' sound like an insult," he teased.

Kurt gently pushed him back into the dressing room, handing him a group of shirts to try on. He went to look for some shorts. He found a heavy cotton blazer in a deep warm brown. He went back to the dressing rooms. "Any luck?"

"I've liked everything so far."

"Well, you're easy to please."

"You just have good taste." He opened the door and showed Kurt the deep plum v-neck tee."

"That does look good. Slip this jacket on."

"Why do I need something like this?"

"I'll show you. Give me a sec." Kurt left and returned with a hoodie. "Look at yourself in the mirror, and then trade the jacket for this hoodie." He gave him time to do it. "The hoodie looks good with the running shoes you're wearing, but imagine you're in a hurry to go to some kind of presentation or to hear a guest lecturer. You could put on a pair of nice ankle boots and the jacket on instead of the hoodie and walk out the door."

"Sold."

"You're so easy."

"Only for you. Ask my mom. She and I never agree when we go shopping."

"She tries to dress you like your dad."

"Fair point. I think that's why she just ordered multiple shirts in the same style, but different colors. Once she had laundered everything and hung in my closet, she knew I'd just wear it since she had already spent the money on them." He came out in one of the pairs of shorts. "All of the shorts fit. Do we still have time to make it to the shoe store?"

"Yeah, I'll take everything and go get in line. You can bring the last pair of shorts with you."

* * *

After Sebastian dumped all of the clothes he bought into the washer, Kurt called for him from his bedroom.

"I want to show you something." Kurt carried out a triptych of paintings with evergreen trees at the forefront on the far left of the left painting and the far right of the right painting, with Lake Fontana visible in the center painting, and Great Smoky Mountains in the distance with fluffy white clouds touching the mountain peaks in all three. He laid them on the bed as he pulled them out of the vintage pillowcases they had been stored in.

"Those are beautiful."

"My mom painted them. It's the Smoky Mountains in the background. I don't remember going really. I was five I think. My dad and I went again when I was older, but we didn't go to this exact spot. These used to hang in our living room, but Dad took them down when he bought the huge 55" TV. I packed them up and kept them in my closet."

"They'd look really good on the blank wall over the table. The color scheme matches with the green, gray, and white."

"I wasn't trying to get you to let me hang them. I just wanted to show them to you. I've never shown them to anyone before."

"Well, you can think about whether you want to hang them or not. You can hang things in here as well. I trust you to be careful and not put a hundred holes in the wall. The drill, screw anchors, screws, and measuring stick are in the coat closet."

Kurt nodded as he put the paintings back in his closet.

"Are you ready to tell me the story of why you have an autographed football?"

"Sure. Let me get my laptop. I'll bring it out to the living room."

* * *

Sebastian had arrived with an empty suitcase, but left with it packed for his 2-week trip after graduation. He had put it by the door, where they were both standing. Both not wanting to be the one who asked, but Sebastian finally caved.

"You hug Adam, and the two of you are just friends, right?"

Kurt nodded and stepped closer. He closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck. Sebastian quickly wrapped his arms around Kurt's mid-section. Kurt stepped back after a few seconds, even though he didn't want to let go.

"I'll see you in three weeks. Have fun in Florida."

Sebastian leaned down to grab his suitcase. "It would be more fun if you came."

"Of course it would, but I'll be here when you get back."

Sebastian stopped at the first landing and looked up. He waved at Kurt and winked before he went down the rest of the stairs.

* * *

Kurt pushed his schoolwork to the back burner and began researching his options. Three hours later he called Burt.

"Hey, Dad. I need to talk to you about school."


	18. Chapter 18

After his voice class Monday morning, Kurt read the series of four texts from Rachel about the New Directions reunion in Lima later in the week. The New Directions had come in second at Nationals and Sue was disbanding the club. As much as the club had meant to him, he couldn't justify another plane ticket and four days off from work, in addition to missing class for two days.

He knew that if he went, Mr. Schue would just have everyone do a Journey mash-up or a re-hash an old piece and make it 'new'. It would be all about Mercedes and Rachel posturing to be in the spotlight. And now Santana would be added to the diva posturing with her national commercial and her understudy role to gloat about.

As usual, he was trailing behind and he had no interest sharing anything about his life with anyone there. He was working to come to terms with the choice he had made and he didn't want to be put in the position to defend something he hadn't quite come to terms with yet.

He accidentally answered her fifth attempt to contact him, which was a phone call.

"Kurt, you can't just bail on the reunion," Rachel said stubbornly.

"I most certainly can."

"Everyone will be there."

"Everyone except me. Stop harassing me. I have school and I have work. I can't just skip town on a whim. I'm saddened to hear that Sue has disbanded the club, but honestly that has been her goal for the last four years. She even ran for Congress on a platform of getting rid of the arts in schools. This isn't news. You had to know that she would succeed at some point in time. Now that she's the principal for real, she can cancel the afterschool clubs. A free and public education doesn't give the students the right to clubs or even athletic teams. And honestly, a state-of-the-art computer classroom sounds like a good investment of the school's resources, if they hire a competent teacher. Maybe it's time to let Glee Club go the way of the dodo."

"I can't believe you'd say that."

"Being in Glee Club did not help me on my career path to being a stage performer. And over the 4-year time period, there haven't even been 25 students who participated in Glee Club, unless you count the musicians who were already members of the jazz band. That computer classroom could teach 30 kids an hour how to apply for jobs online and how to do research, both of which they could use to get out of that cow town. The whole student body versus 25 students, Rachel. Just stop calling and texting me. You make about the same in a week now that I do in a month of working over 50 hours a week. I don't have the ability to take off on a whim. If you call or text again about the reunion, I'm blocking your number. I have to go. I'm going down into the subway station. I can't be late to work."

Once he was on the train, he pulled his phone out and looked at the photo that Sebastian had texted him when he got to class that morning. He had the school supplies case unrolled along the top edge of his desk and he had someone take his picture with him sitting very properly in his chair with his chin propped on his hands, with just the slight hint of a smile. He captioned it – "The most prepared AP Physics student at Dalton. A full night's sleep, check. A fabulous breakfast, check. A fantastic array of supplies to do well, check."

Looking at it made Kurt smile. At some point that morning, Sebastian had obviously found the slices of apple cinnamon pecan bread that he had stealthily added to his backpack before he left the previous afternoon because he hadn't mentioned finding them the night before when he texted that he had gotten back safely.

It was going to be a long three weeks.

* * *

Since he had been hired on as an intern and the school year had ended, Kurt spoke to Isabelle on Monday about the longevity of his position and about his salary, should he stay. She told him that she would get back to him as soon as she could.

* * *

As soon as he got off work, he began calling garages between the apartment and the CUNY campus. He was surprised to find that two places were willing to see him immediately for interviews. He went home, changed into something much less fabulous and took the bus to the first place – JJ's .

He went inside and gave his name. The owner, Jared Johnson, came out and greeted him personally and took him back to his office. He appeared to be in his late thirties or early forties. He was just slightly taller than Kurt, with black hair, dark brown eyes, and an athletic build. Kurt managed to get a decent look at the bay area and found it to be tidy and clean. They talked for about 15 minutes.

"So, what do you say, Kurt? I can accommodate the hours you have available and I'm a flexible guy. I just need someone who can come in and be here for some of our tough nuts. And I was looking for someone to work about 20 hours a week. Your certifications meet what I need. I know you can't start for two weeks to give you time to quit your current job."

"Honestly, I have one more interview."

"Well, you go ahead to that, and let me know afterwards. I'll pay you a dollar more per hour than whatever someone else offers you."

Kurt tried to keep the surprised look off his face. "Why?"

"Because I know your dad and I know that he will have trained you up to do things right the first time. I won't be wasting money paying you to do something again. This isn't actually the first time you and I have met. I used to work for your dad years ago. I was drifting around trying to find where I wanted to land and settle down. I was about five years older than you are now. I'd been a mechanic since I got out of high school. I stayed in Lima for a couple of years. You were about five when I started. You had some adorable coveralls that you and your mom had… um… Bedazzled – that's the word. It was dark blue like ours with rhinestones and studs. He had a name patch made for you and everything. You were adorable. By the time I left, he was teaching you how to do minor repairs already. I found my way here to New York about five years later and started working here. My own dad died and left me some money and his house. I sold it and used the all the money to buy this place when Johnny was ready to retire."

"I'm sorry. I don't remember you personally."

"Nah, it's fine. I was just one of the guys sliding in and out from under cars. I don't even remember my second grade teacher's name and I spent every day saying it." He chuckled.

"You're sure that you can accommodate for my availability changing each semester?"

"I'm sure. But you go ahead to the other interview and see what the other place has to say. I don't want you to not give your options some consideration."

Kurt nodded. "Thank you. I'll call as soon as I've decided."

"You do that, by Wednesday at close would be best, so I know whether to interview other people. It was nice see you again, Kurt. Tell your mom and dad I said 'hi'."

Kurt explained about his mom and how his dad was a congressman now.

"Well, I'm saddened to hear about your mom. She was really sweet, and your dad obviously thought she hung the moon."

Kurt smiled. "Mmm hmm." He stood and shook Jared's hand and saw himself out.

The second place he went was more messy, but not terribly so. The interview went smoothly and the man was pleasant. He offered Kurt 50 cents an hour more than his previous offer. Kurt thanked him for his time and told him that he'd let him know by Wednesday.

* * *

Rachel cornered him as he came out of his vocal class Wednesday morning. "Why did you quit the diner?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "How did you even hear about that? You don't even work there anymore."

"I went there last night to try to talk some sense into you about coming to Lima. I'll even pay for your plane ticket."

"Aren't you supposed to be in Lima?"

"I'm leaving this afternoon. Quit avoiding my question."

"I got a better job. That's why people usually quit. But I have the next almost two weeks before I won't be there anymore, so if you want me to sing a song for you, you know where to find me every weekday evening." He slipped away and turned right at the next hall, double-backed through the dance room, and exited out the other side of the building.

* * *

Isabelle called him into her office Wednesday after lunch and indicated for him to shut the door before he sat down. "I am pleased to inform you that you are now my part-time PA and no longer an intern."

"Are you serious? Oh, my God. That's the best news. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I would love to say that it comes with a huge raise, but at least it comes with a small one. You'll be getting a $2.00 per hour raise."

"Even better news. Will the schedule I showed you Monday work for the summer? I quit the diner and I'm going to go back to working as a mechanic. I can work half as many hours, make the same amount of money, and actually enjoy the summer instead of continuing to work 56 hours a week in addition to taking six classes over the summer."

"Yes, what you showed me will be fine. So, you'll want to switch your days starting in two weeks?"

"The week of June 3rd."

"I'll adjust my schedule accordingly," she laughed. "Which means, of course, that you'll do it."

"I will. I'll work on it this afternoon."

Kurt quickly called both shops and informed Jared that he'd like the position. He offered him the $1 extra like he had said it would, which meant $1.50 more an hour than he had originally offered. Kurt was thrilled. He got to work on Isabelle's schedule, rearranging meetings as needed.

* * *

Sunday morning at noon, Kurt was in the apartment putting the final touches on the lunch he had made for his dad and Carole, who were due to arrive any minute. When they knocked on the door 10 minutes later, Kurt rushed to open it to let them.

"Welcome, welcome. Right this way. You can put your suitcase in my closet. Lunch is ready." He led them through the kitchen and around the corner to the alcove. "This is my room. The bathroom is here."

"Thanks, Kurt. We'll be right in to sit down for lunch," Carole said.

Kurt plated their food and was sitting at the table waiting for them when they joined him.

"This is a nice place," Burt said. "Small, of course, but the layout is nice."

"I think the fact that you have a laundry closet is amazing."

"It makes a big difference. I can wash my clothes while I cook and prep food for the week."

No one wanted to broach the real reason why the two of them had come, so they focused on eating and mindless chitchat for a while. Carole helped him clean up afterwards.

"It's been a long time since I've seen these," Burt said with a tinge of sadness in his voice.

"I kept them in my closet. Sebastian said I could hang them, so I did."

Burt nodded and turned around to go sit on the sofa. He sat at the end where he could face away from the paintings. Kurt and Carole joined him a few minutes later. The two of them sat on the other section, with their backs to the wood unit.

"I saw your mom's dresser. It looks perfect. You did an amazing job restoring it."

"Thanks. Erik did a great job making an identical leg and fixing the drawer that was broken. Look, I know you came here to talk about some stuff. Let's just get it over with. Having it hanging over my head just makes me tense. I know you're displeased with my choices, so go ahead and get that off your chest, and then I can try to speak to your concerns."

Carole spoke first. "First off, I want to say that I think your idea of going to school this summer to get caught up on credits so you can start the fall off as a sophomore is a good idea."

Kurt nodded.

Burt chimed in. "My concern is that you're giving up attending an amazing school that you went on and on about, while refusing to enroll in another school when you came here last fall because you were so determined to attend NYADA. Now, you're telling us that you're not only planning to leave NYADA, you're enrolling in the equivalent of a community college. You quit the diner where you told me that a lot of people in the theater industry might have a chance of 'finding' you and offering you a role or at least an audition when I suggested you get a job at a shop last winter. You're changing your major. You gave up the loft and you're staying here, where you don't have to pay rent, but you're still concerned about money when we've offered, repeatedly I might add, to pay more of your expenses."

"Is that it?"

"Not quite. Are you dating Sebastian? Is that why you're staying here?"

"I was determined to attend NYADA. I was naïve and uninformed, through my own fault, but some guidance from my guidance counselor would have helped. Applying to only one college was stupid. Not doing my own research was stupid. I have learned from my mistakes. I actually applied to several colleges last fall before I had a chance to re-audition for NYADA. I'm not walking into all of this blind this time. I've lived in the City long enough to know now that education does make a difference, but being what the casting director is looking for is just as important. I mean look at Santana. She has zero professional training and she walked in and nailed getting the understudy role after Rachel got the lead with not quite a year's worth of training at NYADA."

Burt interrupted. "You know that those were both just flukes, right. Very few people just start out on top."

"Oh, I know. But Rachel is Rachel, so it makes sense. She's always managed to come out on top. And I always knew Santana could be anything she wanted to be. She wields her charisma and intelligence like a weapon and can charm men and women alike. I knew she'd shank her way to the top of whatever field she chose."

"I can see that," Carole agreed.

"Anyway, school and training is still important to me, but going to a premiere school to get that training has moved down my priority list. I think that there is obviously some advantage to having access to the best teachers, etc, but people can make it without that. The premiere training is like starting out two rungs higher on my climb to the top. But the top when it comes to Broadway is nothing like the top when it comes to Hollywood. Equity pay for a lead role would earn me somewhere around $100,000 a year, before taxes. That's comfortably middle class in Ohio. In a place where apartments like this rent for $3500 a month, possibly more with the washer/dryer closet and the brand new kitchen and bathroom – it's enough to live on, but since I'm not eligible for any school loans, I'd be paying off loans you'd have to take out for ten years after I graduate."

"It's like DC. It's insane," Carole said.

"It is, but that salary would only be for a lead, and I'd never have a lead 52 weeks a year for ten years."

Burt nodded. "I get that."

"Anyway, I've spent a semester at NYADA. It's fine. It's a good school, but I can't honestly say that I think I've gotten $25,000 worth of knowledge from being there. I did the math. That's $1,666 per week. I'm pretty sure that I could have taken private dance, voice, and acting lessons for that price. It's just too much. I understand that a college degree will help me get a job if I don't get a role. But other than intense training courses, NYADA doesn't offer anything other than the core courses with an emphasis on something in the performing arts. So, I'll have a B.F.A., but it's unlikely that I will learn anything that will be applicable to anything outside performing arts."

"I see."

"This is part of the 'I didn't do enough research.' issue. If I change schools, I can double major in something more practical so that I can get a job if I never break into the Broadway scene. Or I can attend summer classes and graduate sooner so I can start graduate school and get a Master's Degree, which will cost less than the tuition for one semester at NYADA."

"Alright."

"Working at the diner for five months has yielded me no leads for roles. It pays about half what working at JJ's will. I'll be able to work half as much and make the same amount. It's just practical."

"I'm not going to argue with you. I just wanted to understand how so much has changed so quickly. I wanted to make sure that no one is pressuring you somehow. One thing that's not negotiable is that we will be paying for your classes this summer. I know you took out a loan because you were still eligible for one, but I looked through the budget you sent me and if you do what you explained about getting New York resident status, your cost will drop dramatically next spring. When all of the expenses get spread out, I'm going to be paying what I had said I would. It will just be more this year. Our housing expenses have gone down. I won't go into everything, but you don't need to worry about the tuition. You'll still pay for your books, supplies, whatever you need like dance shoes, and for your personal expenses. But with staying here for the summer, you can save on rent."

Kurt nodded.

"For what it's worth, honey, I think you're making a wise choice. It's like betting in a way. Is paying over $200,000 a reasonable investment in a future you want or is it just a gamble? From what you're saying, it sounds more like a gamble. You could be exactly what someone is looking for without going to school at all and you might never be what someone is looking for with $200,000+ to pay back while still paying everyday living expenses."

"That's what I've been working through. Isabelle still believes that I have what it takes to make it as a designer. So, there's that to consider. I looked into FIT as well. It's a design school. Once I have New York residency, I could go there for a reasonable price as well – if I change my mind about working in theater."

"Keeping your options in mind is a good idea," Burt said. "You didn't answer me about you and Sebastian."

"He's been really supportive. We've gotten really close over the last nearly three months. I'd easily say that he's my best friend right now. We are not dating."

"Because you don't want to?" Carole asked.

"Because it's really nice having him as a friend. And not because he's letting me live here rent free. Just because it's nice to be friends with someone who doesn't expect me to do for him what he could do for himself." He smiled thinking about Sebastian. "It's just nice to have someone I feel comfortable around who accepts me for who I am. He apologizes when he's out of line, which is nice. No one is perfect and I don't expect anyone to be, but genuinely apologizing means a lot to me."

Carole nodded in understanding. "I'm glad for you."

"Me too," Kurt agreed. "So, sightseeing?"

* * *

"Hey!" Nina put her hand on Sebastian's shoulder. "You're somewhere off in space. You're smiling though. What's up?"

"Just thinking."

"About Kurt?"

He rolled his eyes. "Mo-om…" he responded, turning it into a 2-syllable word.

"What? You let him move in and never really explained why, other than 'he needed a place to stay'. But yesterday after graduation, you told us that he's staying after you move in."

"Yes. It took me nearly three months. He's convinced that he's being a freeloader."

"He is in a way. Your situation isn't usual for anyone who's grown up in blue-collar family. I'm sure he's grown up being told that he has to work hard to get anywhere. He didn't have the backing of two well-to-do families."

"Yeah, he's worked since he was 14. I've worked for a couple of months, being paid more than minimum wage by someone Dad knew that needed a temporary person. It's a different life. I've never wanted something I couldn't have. I've never worked hard for hours on end to buy something that you and Dad couldn't afford to get for me. I like him more than I can explain, but I don't think he likes me the same way. I can totally see why. He's a better person than I am. He's too good for me. I get that. I hate it, but I get it."

"Why would you say that about yourself?"

"It's just true. He had proof that the slushie had been tainted with, but he handed it over to me and forgave me instead of using it to get me expelled."

"You've grown up. I think that maybe you're being a little too hard on yourself. You obviously care about him a lot."

He sighed and nodded. "I do. But for us to have any chance, I have to completely squash my knee-jerk reaction to fix the problems he has that are money-based." He looked out over the water and actually focus. He smiled again. "He beat me at Blockus."

"I like him already," she teased.

"Of course you do. If you spend time around him, you'll like him more. He's smart, kind, and talented."

"And not bad on the eyes," she nudged him.

"This beach is really nice."

She chuckled. "Yes, it is."

"I was surprised when you told me that you sold off one of the properties in New York."

"We wanted a new place to spend some time together besides New York. We'll be offering it to rent it out from one to three weeks at a time, leaving at least a week open each month that we can come down and stay. I'll show you the calendar and you can pick times. I already blocked off your fall break, two weeks of winter break, and spring break."

"Sounds good. What about the week of the 4th?" Sebastian stared back out at the ocean with the same smile on his face, along with a fair bit of determination.

"I'm sure we can work something out." She ruffled his hair.

"Mo-om!"

She just laughed.


	19. Chapter 19

Monday morning, Kurt woke up to the sounds of Carole in the kitchen, despite her obvious efforts to be quiet. To give her the ability to surprise him that she had gotten up early to accomplish, he lay quietly with his eyes closed and let her go on with her plan. This was his third birthday with her as a part of the family. He knew that she was making waffles because that's what she had always done for Finn's birthday. He realized that she had to have packed the waffle maker with her in her suitcase. He was glad that he was facing the TV and she couldn't see the smile on his face.

_I'm 20 years old._ He thought about how odd it was for his teen years to be over. Looking back, he could think of so many things he would have done differently, but he lacked the knowledge about so many things at those points in time, so he tried to cut himself some slack and not feel too much remorse.

He thought about how glad he was that Sebastian came back into his life. _It's funny how meeting someone at the wrong time can be so hurtful. And how meeting him again now is turning out to be so amazing._

His mind flashed to David – how different he had seemed at Scandals that night, and then again after his attempt. He reminded himself to send him an email to catch up a little. It had been a while since he had last gotten an email from him. He was in Chicago studying chemistry or something that had to do with math or both. He couldn't remember. He was too caught up in his own messy life at the time – the breakup, Rachel, and then Santana. Situations he had survived, but not without battle scars. He was glad not to be dealing with any of that anymore.

_Santana._ She was still acting like a real human. It was still disconcerting.

Kurt was startled out of his thoughts by several light raps to the door. He knew who it was instantly. He got up from the couch and went to the door. "Hey, Adam. Good morning." He let Adam step inside, and then hugged him.

"Happy birthday, love. No longer a teen, but not quite legal here still." He stopped in his tracks and stepped back. "I'm sorry. I should have called."

"It's fine, honey. Come on in. You're just in time for Kurt's birthday breakfast."

"You're sure? I don't want to interrupt."

"Nonsense. You came over early to surprise Kurt. I got up early to do the same. Kurt can go bring Sebastian's desk chair in here and we can all eat. I'm making waffles."

"It smells delicious. If you're sure you don't mind, I'd love one."

"Let me go get dressed really quick. Make yourself at home, as always." Kurt headed towards his room.

"I'm Adam Crawford. I didn't know Kurt was having family in." He opened the refrigerator and put a small box inside.

"He didn't know either until yesterday morning," she smiled at him. "I'm Carole, Kurt's stepmom. Burt should be out soon. He was showering, but I don't hear the water anymore."

Burt came out of Kurt's room and Kurt went in. Burt stepped out into the living room. Carole stepped past the end of the wall.

"A friend of Kurt's stopped by to wish him happy birthday. I invited him to stay for breakfast. Burt, this is Adam."

Adam got up and greeted Burt, offering his hand. "It's nice to meet you both. Kurt always has the nicest things to say about the two of you."

"Well, then he's just keeping the bad stuff to himself," Burt said. "He's like that."

Adam nodded. "That he is."

"You're the British guy his talks about all the time. I appreciate you being a good friend to him. God knows he needed one with all of the backstabbing supposed-friends he had. He kept their bad sides from me too, but as it usually does, the truth came out."

Adam nodded and sat back down. Burt sat across from him. Kurt came back fully dressed with his hair tamed enough to look presentable.

"I see you've all met. Let me go grab Sebastian's chair." He brought it back and put it up to the table next to Adam and sat down. "You'll love Carole's waffles. They're fantastic. She won't tell me her secret."

She smiled and chuckled. "It wouldn't be a secret if I told you."

Kurt sighed. "Of course not, but I still want to know."

"Maybe that will be my present to you on your 30th birthday."

Kurt looked at Burt and laughed. Burt turned red. Carole looked at the two of them inquisitively, but said nothing, not wanting to embarrass either one of them in front of Adam. She put the plate of waffles on the table, along with the bacon and sausage she had been keeping warm in the oven. She put out softened butter and maple syrup as well. They served themselves and began to eat. Carole asked Adam about England and what he had enjoyed about being in the US, which took the pressure off of Kurt.

When they had finished breakfast, Kurt grabbed the bed linens off the sofa and put them in the washer to get them out of the way so that everyone could sit down. Adam approached Kurt as he stepped away from the laundry closet.

"I put what I brought for you in the fridge. I know you'll enjoy it. I won't stick around this morning, but give me a call later, if you have time, and we'll go out to dinner."

"Thanks for stopping by. I'll walk you out." He hugged Adam again before he stepped back inside the apartment.

"He seems sweet," Carole said as she put the last of the dishes into the dishwasher.

"He is. He's amazing. He's the first friend I made here."

"What was that look and the laughter about?" she asked.

Kurt shook his head and snickered. "When Dad gave me 'the talk' when I was 17, he told me that having sex would be a great gift to myself for my 30th birthday."

"Burt Edward Hummel. That was ridiculous," she laughed.

"I knew he'd find out about Scandals eventually. I didn't want him to just go hook up with some random for his first time. I wanted it to mean something to him with someone he cared about."

"I get that," she said. "I'll go finish getting ready and we can head out." She headed into the bathroom.

"It was on your own terms, wasn't it?" Burt asked. "When I found out that he cheated on you, I realized that you two had been having sex. I had pushed it out of my mind as a possibility because as a parent, that's just what we do. It's a natural part of life that no one wants to think about for their kid. And I know you're 20 now, but I'm still working on the 'you're an adult' thing. And that's my issue not yours."

"I've been to counseling, and I'm still going, so I've worked through a lot of my issues."

"That wasn't really an answer."

"I know."

Carole came back with Kurt's birthday card in her hand. "You can open it now or later."

He went ahead and opened it. It was a really sweet card from both of them.

"I renewed your Kindle Unlimited."

"Thank you. It's been really helpful."

"You're welcome," she said.

"So, are we ready to go then?" Burt asked.

"Yep," Kurt said. He hopped up. He stood the card up next to the TV. "Let's go."

* * *

Kurt took them on a tour of the City College campus. The school's bookstore was closed, but the store that sold fan gear and clothing wasn't on campus and it was open. They went inside and Burt bought himself a new hat in black with the City College logo. Carole insisted that he get something to show his school spirit. He ended up choosing a lavender pullover hoodie with the school logo on the front that reminded him of a hoodie he had back in sophomore year that he had loaned to one of the girls at a sleepover, which had never been returned. She bought herself a window cling for the back of her car to show her support. Burt slipped off the hat from the tire shop he was wearing, put it in the bag when they left, and wore the CCNY hat the rest of the day.

They went to Central Park for a while and rode the Staten Island Ferry out to see the Statue of Liberty before they headed back to the apartment. Burt and Carole headed back to DC late in the afternoon. Kurt did schoolwork until it was time to leave to meet Adam for dinner.

* * *

Kurt stepped inside the Thai restaurant and looked around, but didn't see Adam. About a minute later, Adam walked in behind him.

"Sorry, I'm late, love."

"You're not late."

They got in line and ordered and took the number to the table Kurt found while Adam got their drinks. Adam sat down across from Kurt.

"So, how's the birthday celebrating gone?"

"It was nice to have them here. I hadn't seen them in six weeks, since the weekend after the memorial. Carole put a lot of effort into being herself for two days. I know it was killing her on the inside, but she did it for me. She's really sweet. She renewed my Kindle Unlimited for the year as my gift. Getting to a library to get a book isn't always that easy with my crazy schedule, so being able to borrow them has been handy."

Their number was called. Adam stood up, grabbed their number card, and took it to the counter to pick up their food.

"This looks good," Kurt said. He lifted both dishes off so Adam could put the tray out of the way.

"There are so many restaurants in the City, I don't think anyone could ever try them all, but I've done my best while I've been here," he chuckled. "My budget has limited some of my choices, but I found this place last week."

Kurt took a bite of his dish. "It tastes as good as it looks. Thanks for treating me for dinner."

"You're welcome, love."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Actually I don't even know how to ask it. I just want to thank you for being my friend and not giving up when I had so little to offer you in return. I asked you out and I thought I was ready to move on, but I was in too much turmoil over my dad's medical problems to see that I wasn't. You asked me if you were my rebound back in February. I said that you weren't, but then never allowed this to move past us just being friends. I just want to make sure that I haven't hurt you in some way because that was never my intent."

"No, Kurt. I was interested in dating you when you asked me out. You're an amazing person, and the more I've gotten to know you, the more certain I am of that. But I've enjoyed all of the time we have spent together. And to be honest, I think if we had tried to date, it would have fallen apart because you didn't have time for that type of relationship back then. Too many people were putting pressure on you. I think dating then would have made me just one more stressor in your life that you had to make time for. Even if it had been because you wanted to make time for me, it wouldn't have been an easy thing to do. I know you would have given up sleep or put less time into an assignment to give me the time you thought I deserved as your boyfriend. That wouldn't have been healthy for you. And I would have felt bad about it."

Kurt nodded. "You're right. When we met, I was still on the 'high' of having gotten into NYADA. The newness and the excitement were temporarily pushing other things out of my mind. The first three months I was here, I pulled money from my savings from having sold my SUV to cover the deficits in my budget, and I hadn't yet faced the reality of how much time I'd spend working to cover my expenses. Once I started working at the diner to make ends meet, I just didn't have any time with the combination of the commute and everything. I just want you to know how much it means to me that you didn't just drop me like a hot coal. You've been so supportive. I just really appreciate it."

"You're welcome. Don't let anyone convince you to sell yourself short. You've had more than your share of frenemies. And I've never once regretted a moment I've spent with you. You seem down, like you have some kind of bad news to tell me."

"That's true about the frenemies." He took a drink before speaking again. "I'm leaving NYADA. I can't afford it. I'm transferring to CCNY, which is where I'm taking those core courses I'm taking this summer. They have a Musical Theatre program. I'm sure that it's not on par with NYADA, but I can at least afford to go there."

"Oh." He sounded relieved. "I thought you were going to tell me something that was actually bad news – like you were sick or your dad got bad test results or something."

Kurt shook his head. "No, nothing like that. It's just this issue that I'll have to work through. Getting into NYADA, even though I had to re-audition, was like the proof that I have the potential to make it here. Rachel nagged and nagged me to go to a New Directions reunion late last week, but I stood my ground and didn't go. Part of how I coped with how bad things were in high school was to adopt this 'You'll work for me.' attitude. I portrayed myself as better than the rest of the plebeians and Neanderthals, which his what I called the jocks who dumpster-tossed, locker-checked, and slushied me repeatedly. I was going to go to New York and be amazing and they were going to rot in their homophobic ways in that cow town making minimum wage flipping burgers or working at Wal-Mart. I'm not proud of how I acted, and now I'm dealing with coming to terms with my condescending attitude."

"We do our best to survive. You were a kid in a terrible situation."

"Anyway, I just wanted to prove myself. And if that's ever going to happen, it's not going to be for a long time. I need to come to a point where I'm happy with my own life. I have to stop comparing myself to other people." He sighed heavily. "I'm working on it."

"Unfortunately, comparing ourselves to others is part and parcel of the trade we're in and pretty much every field. But the part you said about being happy with your own life is a good goal – one I'm working on too. I'm glad you stood up for yourself. You don't owe a personal life reveal to a group of people you don't even interact with much anymore."

"You're right. Rachel just laid on the guilt, like she always has. She went so far as to offer to buy me a plane ticket."

"And yet you lived to see another day. The world did not come to an end because you didn't accommodate her wishes or cave to her demands."

Kurt smiled. "That's true." He told Adam about getting the issues with the loft resolved and his new job.

"That's perfect. That's two things off your shoulders."

"It is."

"City College may not have been what you thought you wanted, but I don't think NYADA was either. Maybe this will be a good change."

"I'm hoping so. At least I'll only be working half as many hours. I won't know what to do with myself. I was just being stubborn. I wanted to be noticed and have fun, but being a singing waiter doesn't involve nearly as much performing as I had hoped. Working at a garage is a better use of my time. Like I said, it's time to check my own condescending attitudes and get my head on straight. I've made a choice to go in a different direction. For too long I've fought to swim upstream. NYADA was more of the same. The Apples have been great – everyone else, not so much. My new course is a smaller stream with the current flowing in the direction I'm traveling, and this time I'm in a canoe with paddles."

"Following along with your analogy. I've made it to the end of my course, and hit rapids. I've auditioned for a lot of parts here, but I've only gotten a handful of callbacks and no offers. That's one of the reasons I wanted to have dinner with you tonight. I've decided to fly back home and audition for parts on the West End for the rest of the summer. I haven't gone home since winter break of my sophomore year."

"That was two and a half years ago."

"It was."

"When are you leaving?"

"In two weeks."

"Oh." Kurt tried not to cry, but tears streamed down his cheeks anyway. "I'm really going to miss you. I'm sorry I haven't been a better friend."

"I've enjoyed all of our time together and I'm going to miss you too. And you've been a good friend. I mean that. You've been there for me every time I've called or texted or just showed up and stolen you away to spend time with you. I figured out early on that you weren't used to having anyone be there for you, so it was unlikely that I was ever going to get a call from you requesting support of any type."

"That's true. I learned to keep my problems to myself."

"But you actually opened up to me, so no harm, no foul on not being the one to call me. I hope you realize that I would answer and do anything in my power to be there."

"I do. It just doesn't come natural. In time, it might have. You heard my dad this morning." He signed. "But now you're leaving."

"If I don't get anything over the summer, I'm going to apply to graduate programs and scholarships to come back next fall or maybe this spring if there are any programs that allow for mid-term enrollment. I need to figure out what I want to do if acting and playwriting isn't going to be what I do to support myself."

Kurt nodded and wiped his eyes again.

"If I'm intuiting from your line of questioning a few minutes ago, you wanted to know if you had broken my heart and if I felt like you've used me in some way, like I had mentioned not wanting to be your rebound."

Kurt nodded.

"After I spent a little time reflecting on what went on at the loft when we were snowed in, I put the pieces together. I figured out that you weren't ready and that you weren't going to use me when you suggested that we go to the MOMA that day instead of going to find a movie. You needed a good friend. One who would appreciate you for you, not what you could do for them. I knew what I was getting into. Are you over him now?"

"I am. It's taken me a long time, but I know I'm over him now."

"I'm glad. You can move on now."

"Eventually."

"I think sooner than that." He flashed the smile that always made Kurt feel warm inside. "You and I will always be friends, even if we haven't seen each other in two years. You and I have a level of ease between us that allows us to go for periods of time without talking and be just as close as we were. I think it's like a lot of people are with family. I'm like that with my sister anyway. There's never any malice in the gaps between calls. Neither of us feels slighted that the other is just living. Whenever one or the other does call, we're always chatterboxes."

Kurt nodded. "I've never had that with anyone before since I grew up as an only child, but I can imagine that."

"Our friendship is different than others I have, but that's okay. We can figure out a way to keep in contact without having to run up an enormous bill from international texting."

Kurt smiled. "We'll have to. It just makes me sad. I've finally gotten to a place where I feel like I have something to offer as a friend. I was excited to tell you about how I was going to have more time to do things with you…" his voice trailed off. "I have one more week of crazy. I start my new job a week from today."

"Well, I'm glad that you're not going to keep working yourself to the bone."

"As much free time as you have in the evenings next week, I'm all yours. We can do anything you'd like."

"I'll make a list." He winked at Kurt.

* * *

_Happy birthday to you!  
Happy birthday to you!  
Happy birthday, dear Kurt.  
Happy birthday to you!_

"Thanks. How's the beach?"

"It's beautiful. My parents surprised me. My mom sold one of the places in New York and bought a house here in the St. Augustine area. I thought we were just renting a place for two weeks, but it's ours. She's already getting things set up to rent it out three weeks each month."

"Well, that will be nice change of scenery for you and your family."

"Yeah." _And you too hopefully._ "Did you have a nice birthday?"

"Mostly."

"Only mostly?"

"I had a good time with my dad and Carole. They showed up yesterday at lunch to surprise me. They left this afternoon."

"Well that was a nice surprise."

"It was." He paused for a few seconds. "Adam told me that he's going back to England in two weeks."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I know how much you enjoy his company. He's a nice guy and a good friend."

"All three are very true. And I'm really going to miss him. He hasn't been back in two and half years though, so he's due for sure. He says if he doesn't get anything this summer, he's going to apply to graduate schools here and hopefully come back either in the spring or next fall. As much as I'll miss him, I hope he gets a role. He's really talented."

"I think so too." He yawned. "I'm glad you called, but I need to get to sleep."

"I know. I left your present in on my desk."

"You didn't have to get me anything." Kurt left his room and went into Sebastian's.

"I know, but I wanted to."

"Is it in this brown paper sack?"

"It is."

"I'm putting you on speaker." He put his phone down on top of the desk. He pulled out a navy-faded-to-gray vintage leather belt. "Oh! It's that belt I liked from when we went shopping. Thank you!"

"You're welcome. Happy birthday!"

"Thanks. This is going to look great. I'm going to wear it tomorrow. I'll send you a pic."

"I look forward to that."


	20. Chapter 20

Kurt and Sebastian texted back and forth like they had been for months. Kurt managed to not let his change of employment leak out in their conversations. He made it through his last super hectic week and his very last shift at the diner Saturday. The only thing he was going to miss from working there was singing with Dani.

He did his shopping, started some soup, did his laundry, and cleaned the bathroom and kitchen before he sat down to read Sebastian's superhero physics book for an hour before he ate dinner and settled into doing his actual schoolwork that evening. Once he finished, he watched a movie since, for the first time in ages, he did not have to get up at 4:45 on Sunday morning.

Sunday morning, he got up at 7:00 and decided to take a bath, something he hadn't done in a long time. He dug out some bath salts and soaked for a while. He gave himself a manicure and pedicure, and for fun he painted his toenails with the dark blue polish he had found when he pulled out the bath salts. He did a cleansing mask and gave himself a facial. Once he was properly pampered, he put on his favorite shorts, a soft button up, the new belt Sebastian had given him, and his Chucks. After he finished breakfast, he took a photo of himself and sent it to Sebastian with a text that said, "Off to the flea market."

* * *

Between trying his hand at painting his room and bathroom in the house and some minor furniture replacement and rearranging, Sebastian spent the week mostly reading, swimming, and relaxing at the beach. He bought a waterproof phone pouch to keep it with him all the time so he could text back and forth with Kurt all day long. When he was at the house in the evenings, he spent time researching different places he and Kurt could go sightseeing and things they could do for fun. He worked on an itinerary for the beginning of July in hopes that he could convince Kurt to come with him.

Sunday morning, he was finishing up the clean up after the big breakfast he had made when he got a text from Kurt. He dried his hands and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He smiled when he saw the photo of Kurt dressed to go out hunting through the flea market.

Nina came around the corner of the kitchen and saw him staring at his phone smiling. "That must be a text from Kurt again."

He startled a bit.

"Mmm hmm. Definitely from Kurt if you're so caught up in looking at it that you didn't hear me."

"Mo-om! Why do you keep teasing me?"

"Because I'm glad for you for one thing. You were so closed off for so long, I wondered if you'd close yourself off from love forever after you opened up and then got your heart broken in Paris. It's been two years. I like seeing that smile on your face. I'm not jumping the gun and saying that you're in love with Kurt, but you're opening yourself up to the possibility again." She sat down in one of the barstools at the counter, facing him.

"I had a crush on Kurt for a long time, even though I thought he didn't like me at all. And he didn't. I did some things that when seen from his perspective came across a lot different than they did from mine."

"That happens. Good communication is the key."

"Except that he didn't want to talk to me back then, for good reasons."

"But now you're getting a second chance."

"Yeah. It's been just over seven months since he had his heart broken. His boyfriend cheated on him after he had only been gone for two weeks last fall near the beginning of the school year. I didn't find out until that day at Dalton when said boyfriend proposed to him. That was the day I changed my ticket to a day earlier and flew to New York."

"That's nuts."

"I thought so too. He wanted to get away from his two roommates who backed the proposal."

"That's why he needed a place to go."

"Yeah. We've become friends since then. He's forgiven me for what I did. We're good now."

"And you still have a crush on him."

"It's more than just a crush now that I've gotten to know him. I really do like him."

"And he's moving out when you get back?"

Sebastian put the last pan away and walked around the counter and sat down next to her. "Actually, he's not. Is that a problem?"

"Let's go sit outside in the lanai." She stood up.

He followed her outside. They sat down side-by-side in comfortable chaise lounges.

"It's your place. We gave it to you. You can live in it and have anyone you want live with you, or you could move out and rent it out if you wanted to."

"I'm definitely living there. I've already decorated the whole place."

"Which actually surprised me. I didn't know you had any interest in interior design. You did a good job on your room here too."

"Thanks. I'm not sure if I do. I just know what I liked when we went shopping for my place. It's got a clean edge to it, but it still had personality. I don't know. I just like the way it looks. It's comfortably modern without looking stark and boxy. And the room I liked here had obviously been a nursery. Painting it 'Olympus White', which I swear is a really pale blue gray and in no way white is a huge improvement over the cotton candy pink it was painted before. And swapping the twin bed for the queen one keeps my feet from hanging off the end."

She laughed. "I like the deep navy comforter with the waves pattern. And the second twin bed I bought for the other room makes this place more rentable because there's room to sleep six now. I really like those comforters I found online that came yesterday. The green and turquoise batik palm tree leaves on the white background really livens up the pale olive green room. I just need to find a few things to hang on the walls."

"You said you bought this place."

"I did. We had a place in New York that I had bought a while back when the building went co-op, but over the years, the management hasn't been that good and the common areas haven't been kept up. Fewer people have been interested in staying there a second time and our listing rating has been dropping. With the pattern we were seeing, we were approaching the point where we were going to start losing money on a monthly basis by spring. And as odd as it may seem since the building's amenities aren't as nice as they used to be, the property value overall has still gone up, so we were able to sell at a good profit, which I used to purchase this house outright. The housing market is so different here. It's actually much more similar to Columbus."

"So, you're not making mortgage payments on this place?"

"No, and we're not paying a monthly condo or co-op fee either. We just have the electricity, cable and internet, and the water. And of course the yearly property taxes and home owner's insurance."

"So, how often does it have to be rented out to break even?"

"About 10 weeks out of the year, why?"

"I'm just curious."

"You've never really shown much interest in what I do."

"I'm growing up and working on not being a self-centered teenager." He flashed his smirk at her.

"I see." She rolled her eyes. "Pretty much I do what I did with your place in New York. I buy a property with potential and I flip it. I used to do a lot of the interior work myself because I enjoyed the experience of taking something that looked terrible and making it beautiful. But since I don't do just one project at a time now, I tend to stick to mostly doing the planning and administrative work like getting the permits and finding the right people to do the jobs I need done. I still enjoy the before and after aspects, and it was a little more fun when I was more hands-on, but I'm nearly 50 and climbing up and down stepladders to paint along the ceiling is less appealing than it was when I was 25."

"What about just doing interior design? That's what you went to school for."

"I've thought about it. Maybe when I'm 50," she teased.

He showed her the picture Kurt sent. "I left the belt there as his birthday present. His birthday was Monday."

"Well, he obviously likes it."

"I saw him try it on and debate about it when we went out shopping for summer clothes for me. I picked it up when he wasn't looking and added it to my stack of stuff."

"I noticed your new clothes. They're more…relaxed…I guess is a good word."

"I've never really liked shirts with collars. Kurt introduced me to the henley's and v-neck tees which look a little dressier than plain tees. He also said that he'd tailor some dress shirts so they fit better."

"He sews?"

"I'm not sure what he can't do, but yes, he sews."

She smiled warmly at him. "I hope it works out for you. You deserve someone just as amazing as you."

"You're biased. Kurt's more amazing. Trust me."

They sat there for a few minutes in silence before Nina said, "Wait. You said that Kurt's boyfriend proposed to him the day you flew to New York." She paused as she pieced things together. "Dad and I saw Mr. Anderson at the bank last week. I stepped back and pretended to go through my calendar on my phone. Art inquired politely about how Blaine was doing. Mr. Anderson waxed poetic on how much he wished that the two of you had kept up your friendship and that the silly show choir rivalry hadn't gotten out of hand because if his son had to be gay then you would have been a good match for him, unlike his previous blue-collar boyfriend whose father is know-nothing and only won the election because he was the least crazy of the three people running for office. And he went on about how his wife hadn't done Blaine any good by allowing him to attend McKinley with its weak academics, but she had physical custody because he still travels a lot for his job and Blaine was a minor when they split. He made a big deal of pointing out that Blaine is back on the right path because when he found out about Blaine's public proposal through the Dalton gossip chain, he used his financial leverage and told Blaine that if he was serious about studying music that he would attend Oberlin. He bragged about how he refused to pay for Blaine to go to a Broadway training school, no matter how supposedly prestigious it was – something about if he was determined to be a musician, then he was going to study music at a prestigious music school in Ohio where he could keep a better eye on him than he could in New York."

"Aren't you supposed to be discouraging me from listening to gossip, rather than telling it to me?" he teased.

"Yes, of course, but this isn't gossip. It's just truth that not many people know."

Sebastian cracked up. "I'll be sure to remember the distinction."

She paused, but then swiftly turned to look at him. "Blaine was Kurt's boyfriend."

"Yes."

"Blaine cheated on Kurt."

"He did, which was stupid thing to do. If someone wants to sleep with someone else, they should just break up with their partner or just only agree to open relationships."

"Is that what you want with Kurt?"

"Not a chance. Have I ever really struck you as the type that wants to share?"

Nina laughed. "Good point. Although it has been a really long time since I've had to break up any fights over Legos or Barbies."

"Henri always took all of the wheels when you weren't looking."

" _Yes, of course, dear,"_ she teased.

"And Jillian would take the shoes and purses and put them under the edge of her skirt, and then claim that I was hiding them from her, when she had put Ken's under there as well and he had to go barefoot."

Nina nodded her head. _"And you were an angel,"_ she cooed teasingly.

" _Definitely not._ But I was telling the truth. Jillian was a master at making sure I couldn't play even after you got me the Ken doll. We'd play with her little bakery or shop or whatever, and when I'd try to put my Ken inside the store, she'd tell me 'No shoes, no service.' all the while hiding Ken's shoes under the edge of her skirt where she knew I would never dare to grab for them."

"Tricky, and not very nice."

He nodded in agreement. "Are they coming here at some point?"

"Of course, but I'm not sure when. I haven't sent them the calendar yet. We could have them here for Christmas or New Year's. We could get a privacy screen to put over the door to the family room so you or the girls can sleep in there."

"Or you could have one of those sliding barn doors hung on the inside of the room. It could just be left open all the time. Nothing's against that wall it would slide back on."

"That's true. I could paint it to match the walls on both sides. That's actually a good idea because it would block the noise from the room allowing two groups of people to talk more easily. I'm going to do that. Are you sure you want to study physics?"

"I'm sure, Mom. Really sure." His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket. Kurt had sent him another photo from an estate sale of a square mid-century coffee table. Sebastian showed Nina the photo.

"That's nice. With a cushion, you could use it as an ottoman."

"Exactly what I was thinking." Sebastian texted him back.

Nina chuckled quietly seeing the smile on her son's face when texting Kurt.

* * *

-Get it. I'll pay you back, including the inevitable taxi you'll need to take it back to the apartment.

-No need for a taxi. Isabelle is with me and she already told me that she'd have her driver take me and whatever I buy back to the apartment.

-Perfect. I'll pay for whatever you need to turn it into an ottoman.

-See you Sunday. Too bad you're coming back in the evening. You could come bargain hunting with me.

Kurt put his phone back in his pocket and took the lower half of the tag for the coffee table with him as he continued to look through the furniture. He found two small, time-worn side tables and a very narrow two-tiered shelf that looked like it had originally been designed to sit on top of another small piece of furniture, perhaps a narrow desk or a tall narrow chest. He took the lower half of the three tags for them as well.

He looked around and found Isabelle contemplating a deep plum velvet lounging chair. He walked over to where she was. She was sitting on it by the time he got over to her.

"Is it comfortable?"

"Very. My room is plum, but I just can't tell whether this will match. I'm also considering how much I actually care whether it matches since it's so comfortable."

Kurt smiled. "Well, since it's your room and not your living room or guest room, no one has to see it but you. And if you've been looking for a comfortable reading chair, then get it. A new comforter would be a lot easier to find than another perfect plum velvet chair."

"Wise words. Sold." She laughed and got up and took the lower half of the ticket. "Let's go find out if they have any good vintage clothes."

* * *

Kurt spent the afternoon working some magic on the small side tables out on the fire escape since it had gotten a little too hot to leave the windows open while he worked inside.

He made plans and drawings for the ottoman and put the shopping list in his phone to use when he got off work on Monday.

Adam arrived for dinner at 7:00. They spent the evening eating pizza, talking, and watching _Doctor Who_. Kurt stayed up later than he should have, but he knew that he rather be tired than miss out on spending whatever time Adam had available.

When the movie ended, Kurt pressed the eject button and the power button.

"Oh, you didn't need to eject it," Adam said. "I brought my _Doctor Who_ and Season 2 _Downton Abbey_ discs to leave with you. I can't watch them back home."

"You're sure?"

"I'm positive, love." He got up and pulled a paper bag out of his backpack. "I also found these yesterday when I cleaned out all of my stuff to sort what I was taking back with me. They're some brand new dance clothes that I must have bought right after I came. I vaguely remember misplacing some. I thought I'd lost them, but I guess I just stuck them in a drawer and forgot where I put them. Anyway, they're a size too small for me now. I've filled out a bit since then," he patted his backside.

Kurt laughed. "Mmm hmm. You were showing it off when you were auditioning the Apples for me."

"Is that what you think was going on?" he asked teasingly.

"Was it not? You promised me, what was it? No timeshare or ponzi schemes. Just my ears and the music."

He shrugged, smiling. "You're right. I wanted you to join. We sang and I was hoping you'd be convinced to join."

"And I was. It's been fun. Besides you leaving, that's what I'm going to miss the most from leaving NYADA. No more Apples rehearsals." He took the bag from Adam and put it on the sofa next to him. "Thank you for the DVDs and for these. I'm sure they'll get a lot of use. And thanks for the cheesecake you left on my birthday. I don't think I ever thanked you for that. It was delicious."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm going to head out. I know you have class in the morning."

Kurt got up and followed him to the door. "I'll see you Tuesday night at NYADA. No one else knows about me transferring. I'm not saying anything until after finals second summer session. I don't want the fact that I'm leaving to influence my grade in the last class I'm taking at NYADA. I actually considered dropping it, but CCNY doesn't offer it, so I'm sticking with it. I actually went in and talked to the instructor. We're going to be doing the costumes for an off-off-Broadway show and if I bring in work to show that I can do the harder pieces, I'll get credit for the first semester of Advanced Costume Design."

"That's perfect. A higher level course on your transcript and actually working in the field giving you something to add to your CV – a win/win."

"A bittersweet win/win, but yes." Kurt offered Adam a hug. When he let go, he opened the door for Adam. "I'll see you Tuesday."

When Adam got to the landing, he looked up and waved.

* * *

Kurt enjoyed spending Tuesday evening with the Apples singing and dancing and horsing around. Thursday evening, he spent the evening hanging out with the Adam and some of his other friends. Saturday evening, Adam came over and spent the evening and the night. Kurt let him have his bed and he slept on the couch. Kurt cooked him a big homemade breakfast before they left for the airport.

Once Adam had checked his bags, Kurt walked with him as far as he could. They hugged and said their goodbyes, promising to stay in contact. Adam looked back and waved to Kurt after he stepped through the ticketed passengers only area. Kurt waved back and stood watching until he couldn't see Adam anymore.

He headed towards the subway station to transfer to the bus he needed to take back. When he got closer to the bus stop, he moved more quickly. "Sebastian?"

Sebastian turned. "Kurt? What are you doing here?"

"I have the same question for you. I didn't think you'd be back until tonight, although you never did actually say when you would be arriving."

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, you've succeeded. I'm here because I came with Adam to see him off. He said he got a good deal on the ticket since most people would rather fly out late at night and sleep overnight on the long flight."

"Makes sense."

The bus pulled up and they got on. Kurt led the way down the aisle and found two seats together. It was too noisy for them to be able to talk on the nearly hour ride back to the apartment.

When they got upstairs, Sebastian took his suitcase to his room and emptied his backpack and came back out to find a slice of lemon poppy seed bread on a paper towel for him.

He washed his hands and picked it up. "Ready?"

"For?"

"The flea market. I didn't get up before dawn to fly back to sit around here instead of going to the flea market with you."

"You're serious? You actually chose to come back this morning?"

"I did. Florida is nice, but it's missing you."

"Are you flirting with me?"

"I thought that was pretty obvious." He took a bite. "This is delicious, by the way. Thank you."

Kurt blushed slightly. "You're welcome. You can sit down to eat it."

"Nah, let's get going. I can eat while we walk. I'll get us a smoothie on the way."

* * *

Once they had tossed their smoothie cups in the trash, Kurt thoughts from the previous three weeks began to spill out. "Sebastian?"

"Yeah?"

"I've done a lot of thinking while you were gone the last three weeks."

"That's not really news," he teased. "But there's something eating at you. You've been on edge ever since we got off the bus from the airport."

Kurt took a deep breath. "Do you want the long version or the short version?"

Sebastian pondered Kurt's question. "I think I want both, but we can start with the short version."

Kurt willed himself to say what he felt. "These last several months have been really hard. And you've been there for me in a way that no one else ever has. You made trips to New York just to spend time with me and make sure that I was okay. We've had our bumps in the road, mostly because I've been overly sensitive about things from my past. I was angry about a lot of things and just hurting a lot. But you were there for me and I really appreciate that."

"But?"

Kurt stopped.

Sebastian realized and turned back towards him.

"No 'but's." Kurt stepped to the side of the sidewalk.

Sebastian stepped in the same direction still facing him, giving him time to say what he had to say.

"Were you serious that you like me?"

"Absolutely."

Kurt stepped closer and reached out for Sebastian's hand and took it. "Would you like to go out on a date with me?"

"Yes." Sebastian stepped back alongside Kurt and began to walk again, intertwining their fingers. "How about a date to the flea market?"

"Sounds perfect."


	21. Chapter 21

Sebastian looked down at their intertwined hands as they looked through a booth filled with books. Kurt scanned the shelves next to him, looking through the titles carefully. He ran his thumb along the lower part of Kurt's index finger gently, his emotions all over the place with the intimate contact with Kurt's soft skin.

Kurt looked over at him and smiled. He responded by running his thumb along the top of Sebastian's. Kurt found a book that caught his attention. He pulled it out one-handed, but struggled to look at it. Rather than let go of his hand, Sebastian reached over and stabilized the oversized hardback book so that Kurt could look through it. After a minute or so, Kurt closed it and held it in his free hand. They continued to look through the booth until they had seen everything.

Kurt moved to the line to pay for his selection. Sebastian stood in line next to him patiently. Once Kurt paid, they moved back out into the more open area between the booths.

Kurt handed the book to Sebastian and asked, "Can you put it in my backpack, please?"

"Sure." He unzipped it, put it in, and zipped it up swiftly before retaking Kurt's hand.

"Thanks. I have an older book that's similar, but this one is more detailed and the photos are much more clear. It shows how to do a ton of hand-done stitches, which will make it a great reference book for doing tailoring and costume design. It has a lot of historical information in it, which is what makes it such a great book. I can watch how-to videos on YouTube, but the index in the book tells when the stitches would be historically accurate to use."

"Sounds like a great find then."

"It really is. You didn't see any you wanted?"

"I saw a few that were interesting, but I have several at home that I haven't read yet. I want to read those first. I always find interesting books though, so I'll find new ones to read when I finish the ones I have."

"Makes sense. I read most of my pleasure reading books on my Kindle. The books I buy are usually reference books."

"Where to next?"

Kurt looked around. "How about the booth that usually has the nice fabric?"

"Sure."

"You know we can split up if the fabric booth bores you."

"Nope. Watching you look at fabric is enjoyable, even if I run out of fabric that's interesting to me."

"You're a sap."

"Never said I wasn't." He followed Kurt through the aisles and into the booth Kurt wanted to look through. He spent more time watching Kurt than he did looking at fabric, but he did find one he liked. "Hey, babe, do you think this would look good with the stuff in my room? I already know that I'm going to want some kind of seat cushion for my desk chair."

"Yeah, actually that would look really good and you wouldn't need any more than what's there for a seat cushion."

Sebastian picked it up. Kurt let go of his hand so he could rifle through the various stacks of fabrics. He pulled out a piece that he examined carefully. He turned and held it up to Sebastian, folded it back up, and kept a hold of it.

"Will you go look through the jars of buttons and see if you can find four matching burnished silver or pewter colored ones bigger than a dime, smaller than a quarter? Not too plain, but not really ornate."

"Sure."

Kurt came over with a second fabric in his hand a few minutes later. "Any luck?"

Sebastian dumped about 40 buttons back into a jar. "I actually found three sets." He opened his hand to show Kurt.

"Perfect. Let's go pay."

* * *

Once Kurt had put the fabric he had bought into wash, the book on the new shelf he had gotten and refinished that now sat under the left end of his desk facing outward, and put the 12 buttons in a small ziptop bag and stored them in his sewing box, he went into the kitchen briefly before he sat on the sofa and put his bare feet up on the ottoman.

Sebastian came out of his room and stopped behind the sofa. "Nice nail polish."

Kurt swiftly pulled his feet down and got up to go in the bathroom. Sebastian hadn't moved from behind the sofa. "Where are you going? I was going to sit down with you."

"To take it off."

Sebastian looked confused for a second. "Oh, why?"

"You don't like it."

"Says who?"

"You."

"I complimented you, I thought."

"You don't hate it?"

"No?"

"Oh."

"Can I hug you?"

"We've hugged before."

"This is different."

"Okay. Yeah, you can." He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Sebastian.

Sebastian pulled him closer and held him tight. "You have to stop jumping to conclusions."

"I know. I don't mean to, really. But I had forgotten about doing it and I've never let any guys ever see my feet when my toenails were painted. I just assumed…"

"Don't assume, okay? It's paint. It comes off. And even if I hated it, they're your toenails, not mine."

"So, if I dyed my hair?"

"It would be a different color?"

"You wouldn't get upset?"

"Again, I'm confused by these questions. It's dye. It can be washed out or dyed again. It's not like you'd be having a hair transplant that would make it grow whatever color you dyed it indefinitely or be unable to be dyed some other color."

"So, the tattoos don't bother you either?"

"No, I've actually been thinking about getting one or more than one, but I have to figure out what I'd want tattooed on me forever."

"Let's sit down, like you said."

Kurt pulled back and walked back around the sofa. He sat down and put his feet back up. Sebastian sat next to him, leaving a small space between them and put his socked feet up next to Kurt's.

Sebastian took Kurt's hand and interlaced their fingers again. "You're still on edge."

"I don't know what to expect, and I deal better with things I can predict."

"I think we all do, but I know that anxiety is an issue you deal with. We've talked about it before, just not in relation to the two of us because we've not talked about us as unit."

Kurt nodded. "I really do like you a lot, but I'm concerned that I'm not enough. That's always been how I've felt. I fall short of everyone's expectations. I try hard, but never seem to reach them."

"Knowing what I do about you, I'd say that's mostly because the people you've been around have a pathological need to feel like they're the best all the time and they push everyone around them down a little all the time just to make sure that they stay on top."

"That could be true, but both sides of your family have money. I mean your parents gave you this place. I can't even afford to rent a place like this for four years, much less own one."

"You think my family and I are classist?" Then he remembered what his mom had told him the week before. Of course, Kurt would consider it as a real possibility. He had dealt with it with Blaine and probably other guys at Dalton. "Wait. I'm sorry. I'm not being defensive. I'm asking sincerely. I'm sure you dealt with plenty of classism when you were at Dalton."

"I haven't seen any evidence that you are, well not since you lambasted Santana in the Lima Bean that day, but that was before you realized the error of your ways. I've never really spent any time with your family. I don't want my presence in your life to be something negative for you because it causes some kind of division in your family."

"My family isn't like that. I promise. They just want me to be happy."

Kurt nodded. "Okay."

"Both of my parents have well-to-do parents, but they have made their own way in their fields. My parents gave me this place, but I'm still going to work hard and do well in school and hopefully get a job that will pay well to enough support myself and be interesting to do. My mom's the one who has made the most money. Her parents gave her some money when she graduated from NYU and she bought her first house. She flipped it using as little outside help as possible. I asked her about this past week. As lame as it sounds, I knew what she did, but I had never really asked her how she got started. By the time she had me, she had already made over two million dollars. She has a degree in Interior Design from NYU and she hung around with the carpenters she hired and trained with one crew for a summer. The first winter after she graduated, she got her realtor's license. It allowed her to sell the houses she flipped. After she sold her first house, she bought another. She just kept it up. She eventually began to use the same people and she does less of the work herself now."

"That's actually really cool. My grandpa started the shop my dad owns now. It started out just doing oil changes and tires, like the name says, but my dad expanded it into a full-service repair shop. He trained me up from the time I was young. He really hoped that I would want to take it over for him when I got old enough to, but he realized that while I have the aptitude, I didn't have the inclination." Kurt sighed and his tone became darker. "That's one of the other things I wanted to tell you before we take this any farther."

"What? You make it sounds like you pulled off a heist while I was gone and now you're running from the cops."

Kurt smiled and shook his head. "I told you I did a lot of thinking while you were gone."

"Yeah."

"Well, I went through my options for schooling and work. I quit the diner."

"Hallelujah!" Sebastian teased.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "You dork."

"I'm okay with that as long as I'm your dork."

"I got a job at JJ's. It's a repair shop between Columbia and CCNY, which is the other thing I want to tell you. I'm transferring to CCNY. I know I was going to a school on par with Columbia as far as prestige, but that's not true now."

"I'm assuming that it has to do with the financial aid issue."

"Yeah. When my parents were here for my birthday, we talked about it. I told them my decision. My dad was surprised, but he accepted it, saying that I'm an adult and needed to do what I thought was right. He's not ashamed that I'm not going to graduate from a prestigious school."

"And you're concerned that I might be."

"It's not out of the realm of possibilities."

Sebastian sighed. "You're right. But I'm not like that. I'm not trying to be an ass, but I'm set for life. You and I could live in this apartment for the rest of our lives and work part-time to make the money to pay the utilities and buy food and be fine. I want you to be happy. If that's working at a repair shop part-time or selling hot dogs in Central Park or working on Broadway or at a fashion magazine or designing clothing, then I'm fine with any of those. What I think I want to do isn't going to bring me or my family any prestige in upper class circles. I'm not hoping to be a politician or hold any position that would ever be recognized by the general public."

Kurt ran his thumb along Sebastian's again.

"That feels really good. Until today, I didn't realize how much I would like holding hands. I never thought I'd want to date. That's what led me to agreeing to the friends-with-benefits thing. I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't enjoy the benefits because I did, but this is better. You chose me for something other than me providing a way to deal with being a horny teenager."

"I did. Although, you are very attractive."

"You think so?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Of course you do."

"There we go."

"What?"

"As much as I like the 'new, improved' Sebastian, I'm hoping you didn't lose all of your smartass personality. It had an attractiveness to it as well. I'm no wilting flower. We both have claws. We just need to learn to navigate being together and not shredding each other to bits."

"I need you to listen carefully, okay?"

"Yeah."

"I like you. I know you have a different sense of fashion than I do. I know that you're sensitive about me calling you girly names or implying that you're not a man when you most certainly are. Look at me, please." He waited. "You're a man. 100%. Whether you wear a skirt and paint your fingernails pink or whether you wear your work coveralls. I won't apologize again because you've told me not to, but if you're going to make assumptions that I actually think the way my previous insults implied that I did back then, we're just going to have continuous struggles. I don't think you find my teeth like a horse's. I don't think I look like a Meerkat, unless you were just referring to my general lankiness and total cuteness."

Kurt smiled. "You are totally cute."

"Okay, I think you're gorgeous and you think I'm cute and attractive. You've switched schools and jobs. I'm not classist and neither is the rest of my family. No one is expecting anything out of me except to pay my own expenses here once I'm out of school and get a job. What did I leave out?" He thought for a moment. "Oh, yeah, you asked me out on our first date this afternoon. I had a lovely time and I'd like to know if you'd be my boyfriend."

"That's fast. One date and you want us to be exclusive?"

"Yep. I've had over a year and a half to think about it. I'm not the type to share and I play for keeps."

"I see. You've never even dated anyone else."

"I've never eaten crickets. Doesn't mean that I'm not 100% certain that I like steak more than crickets."

"So, I'm steak, hmm?"

"Top choice, Grade A, whatever the best cut is."

"You sound pretty certain of that."

"I've been window shopping for years and never found anything that appealed to me more. Even when you didn't like me at all."

"I thought about that when you were gone too – the idea of meeting the right person at the wrong time. We didn't hit it off when we first met, but we could have. The spark between us was there. The timing was just wrong. Yes, I'll be your boyfriend."

"Excellent. How do you feel about cuddling?"

"I don't have much experience, but I'm willing to give it a fair shot."

"Well, I have no real experience either, but I'm pretty sure I'm a cuddler. Let's turn on a movie and cuddle. I forgot to mention it, but I'm a big fan of the ottoman. It looks great and it's very comfortable. Pick a movie while I move it to the corner of the sectional."

Before he sat back down, Kurt grabbed one of the pillows from his bed and put it in the corner of the sectional. "So since this is your idea, you get to choose first. Who's sitting where?"

"You sit mostly in the corner and I'll cuddle up."

"Sure." Kurt sat down and stretched his legs out in front of him on the ottoman and let Sebastian sit down and wrap his right arm behind him and put his head on Kurt's chest. Kurt had angled the TV so they could see it. "Comfy?"

"Getting there." He rearranged a bit more and relaxed.

Kurt lowered his arm and wrapped it across Sebastian's upper back, his hand laying on Sebastian's shoulder. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He let himself be present in the embrace, to feel Sebastian breathing, to feel his points of contact, to feel the trust. The intimacy of holding Sebastian in his arms felt so right. He readjusted his arm and put his hand on the back of Sebastian's neck and slipped his fingers into Sebastian's hair and played with it.

"Mmm. I like that."

Kurt took several slow deliberate breaths continuing to focus on every sensation. After a few moments, his mind did wander to the last time he had been close to someone. It had been completely platonically with Adam and Rachel on one of her good days. They were snuggled up together on the sofa in the loft when they were snowed in, watching _Moulin Rouge_.

Kurt remembered his mind wandering then and his daydream of singing "Come What May" with Blaine. It had brought tears to his eyes and he had lied about his non-existent contacts – something Adam had never called him out on. In the daydream version, they had just held each other. There were no accusations, no demands, just acceptance and a promise of a forever love. It had only been a wishful daydream. Blaine had never held him like that, nor had he ever held Blaine that way.

He and Blaine had never had that comforting silence between two people, the kind where everything was communicated in the silence – acceptance, support, love. Blaine filled every moment with singing and movement or talking about things and himself, but never in a self-revelatory way. They'd known each other for nearly a year and a half and had dated for a year before he even knew that Blaine had an older brother.

He shook himself out of his trip down memory lane and ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair again, bringing himself back into the present. All of his talks with Sebastian had been so different. He knew Sebastian. He just had to get a grip on his knee-jerk reactions to situations and learn to respond without his past coloring those responses.

"Even with just five minutes of actually trying it, I'm going to give the cuddling a 10/10," Sebastian teased. He rolled back a bit and tipped his head up to look at Kurt. "What about you?"

"I agree." With the way Sebastian had moved, Kurt could no longer reach Sebastian's hair from the back. He switched and used his free hand and ran his fingers through his hair above his ear instead. "Your hair is so soft."

"Another revelation. I like being petted or whatever it is that you're doing."

"Good to know."

Sebastian snuggled back into Kurt's chest and relaxed again. He reached for Kurt's hand and held it.

Kurt's mind kept pulling him away and he forced it back each time, not allowing himself to think about his homework or anything else.

"What do I smell?"

"Oh, I put the casserole I made in the oven when you were in your room."

"It smells good. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I wasn't sure when you'd come in, so I made something that you could reheat easily if you got here late."

"You're sweet to me."

"You've been just a sweet to me." He flashed back to a text Sebastian had sent before graduation. "You said that Jeff and Nick are going to Columbia too?"

"Mmm hmm. They're going to live on campus for their first year. Who else did you know?"

"Thad. Trent."

"Thad is going to Yale. Trent said Juilliard, so he should be in town at some point."

"Do you want them to know about us?"

"Why would I keep it a secret? Are we back to the classist stuff? You think that the four of them will think that you're not good enough for me?"

Kurt shrugged.

"You're ridiculous sometimes. You know I told my mom that I didn't think you'd go out with me because you're too good for me."

"You what?"

"It's true. You're like Superman, like I said before. What can't you do? You're like a renaissance man, but with even more bonus skills like cooking better than Julia Child and fixing cars. You're like the most talented, kind, and hardworking guy I've ever met. How could you not be good enough for me? More like it's the other way around. Social standing isn't anything, babe. Jackasses can be born into money and have high social standing, but their money says nothing about them as people."

"You're right. It doesn't. So your mom knows that you like me? And she was still okay with me living here with you?"

"She is. She was actually teasing me, in a good way. I told you that I was really closed off and I kept people at a distance. She's glad I'm finally opening up and that we're friends. I obviously haven't had time to tell her that we're dating now."

"I'm sure my dad will not have the same supportive response. He at least admitted that he's still struggling with dealing with the fact that I'm an adult. But I'm not going to let his struggle become mine. My counseling sessions are actually working. I'm unlearning my co-dependent behavior with him. He has his own life now and I'm not responsible for him anymore, not that I ever really was, but that's not how I lived."

"I can only imagine how hard it was, but you're right that he has his own life now and you have yours."

"I do. Here with you."

"Will you do something for me?"

"Sure, what?"

"Call this 'our' place, not 'Sebastian's' or whatever. Your touches can be seen everywhere. You made this a home as much or more than I have."

"Okay."

"That's it? Okay? No arguing?"

"No arguing. I'm really working on limiting our spats to things like which Beatle was the best singer or things like Team Jacob or Team Edward. I love a good debate, but between us I want harmony. I don't want to fight with you. It will probably happen, but when it does, will you promise to listen and not run? I promise to do the same."

"I will. I'll listen. Maybe we should settle any future arguments in this position. I've never felt more relaxed in my life. You're like human Xanax."

Kurt laughed. He ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair again. "That's a good plan. All arguments have to be worked through while we cuddle up together."

"Let's switch. I want to hold you."

Kurt's heart swooned. They rearranged and once Kurt relaxed a bit, he practically melted into Sebastian's arms. He willed himself to feel everything again, to let his walls down and let himself be vulnerable. Something he had never actually done. He nearly fell asleep, but caught himself and stayed connected. He felt Sebastian's hand on the back of his neck, stopping himself from touching Kurt's hair. "You can touch my hair if you want."

"You won't bitch me out for messing it up?"

"Not like this. We're enjoying each other. If we were on our way out the door to an event and you intentionally messed my hair up, I'd get mad because I'd have to waste time fixing it again before I could go and I'd probably end up late. I don't spend my time at home like a runway model, standing up and holding still so I don't wrinkle my outfit or mess up my makeup or hair. You've already seen me 'unmasked' or whatever."

Sebastian ran his fingers through Kurt's hair and lightly massaged his scalp as he did.

Kurt turned his head a bit so Sebastian could reach better. "That feels utterly fantastic." He became a pile of goo as he relaxed even more.

With thoughts of the past and future banished they both enjoyed the present.


	22. Chapter 22

When the timer went off, they were both pulled out of their tiny world where it was just the two of them holding each other. Kurt moved swiftly to the stove, turned the heat off, and reset the timer for long enough to cool. He went right back to the sofa and climbed back over the ottoman

Kurt caught Sebastian gaze. "Bas?"

"Bas?" Sebastian repeated, contemplating the nickname.

"Do you hate it?"

He smiled softly. "No, not at all. No one's called me that before. I like it."

"Can I kiss you?"

He shifted a bit and their eyes met again. "Mmm hmm."

Kurt pushed up a bit and reached behind Sebastian and balanced himself by putting his arm over Sebastian's shoulder. He pressed in and met Sebastian's warm willing lips. It was a soft and gentle kiss. He focused on every movement and sensation. _This is how a first kiss should be_.

Sebastian had waited ages for this most perfect kiss. _This. I want this forever._

They continued to kiss, gently and chastely for a few minutes. Sebastian rearranged just slightly and pulled Kurt closer and resumed kissing his beautiful boyfriend. Neither pushed for more, both caught up in the seemingly conflicting feelings of comfort and the electrifying spark they felt.

When the timer went off again, Kurt groaned and pecked Sebastian one last time and pulled back to sit up. He ran his hand alongside Sebastian's face. "Shall we eat?"

"I'd go hungry to kiss you more."

Kurt kissed him once more. "We've got more time for kissing. I can't have you wilt away. Come on." He climbed back over the ottoman and reached out for Sebastian.

He scooted forward and stood up. He grabbed for Kurt from behind and held him close. "This might be harder than I had considered." He kissed Kurt on the neck.

Kurt shivered a bit. "Harder in what way?"

"I just want to hold you."

"Let's make the beeping stop at least."

Sebastian chuckled. He didn't let go of Kurt, but he nudged him forward until he could reach the timer to press it. "There. It's off."

Kurt turned in his arms and pressed his forehead against Sebastian's and closed his eyes. He slipped his arms under Sebastian's and wrapped them around him. He tipped his head just enough that he could kiss Sebastian again. "I don't think holding me is going to be an issue, unless I'm working on something I have to use my sewing machine for." He pecked Sebastian on the lips. "Let's eat while it's warm."

Sebastian loosened his hold and poured them drinks while Kurt plated their food. They sat down across from each other like usual.

"You told me you got the job at… I forgot what you said the name of the place is."

"JJ's."

"At JJ's. What are your hours?"

"I should be home by 6:30 every evening."

Sebastian's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Kurt smiled. "Yes, really."

"That's amazing, Babe. That will give you so much more time." _to cuddle up with me._

"I see you calculating cuddle time."

Sebastian flashed him a "Who me?" look.

Kurt flashed back his patented "Bitch please" look followed by a wink.

"Maybe… Is that a bad thing?"

"No. Just something for me to look forward to. I will still be working early Saturday mornings – 6 to noon. So, late nights on Friday won't really be an option."

"That's okay. I'm not really much of a night owl anyway. I can stay up, but I only do it for a reason. We can still stay up until 10 and still get seven hours of sleep. This is good, by the way."

"We should start a recipe binder with everything we try and like."

"I'll work on that since I have a lot of free time on my hands for now."

"For now?"

"Oh, I didn't tell you. I signed up for this intensive Physics course and a Calculus class for second summer session. I'll be busy the whole time you're in classes and at work. The Physics class is basically two semesters combined, condensed into half the time of a usual semester. When I complete it, I'll get an additional six credits or the first two courses. And it's a third semester Calculus class, which I'll take if I get a 5 on the AP Calculus test, along with credit for the first two. I'll have to take the second semester if I only get a 4, but I'm hopeful. I'll get my scores before the second summer session starts."

"My boyfriend is a brilliant man."

"So is mine. Brilliance comes in many forms."

Kurt blushed. "I branched out last night."

"In what way?"

"I made you some cookies. They're like ginger snaps, but they're lemon poppy seed."

Sebastian's face lit up, then his eyes narrowed. "You're not teasing me are you?"

"I would never tease you about something as serious as your intense love of lemon poppy seed sweets." He winked and smirked.

"They sound fantastic."

"Well, I used every ounce of self-control I have and didn't try them."

 _He waited to try them with me_. "And I'm a sap?"

"Never said I wasn't," he sassed back, mimicking Sebastian's words from earlier.

Sebastian laughed.

* * *

After they had cleaned up and packed up the leftovers, Sebastian wiped down the table and rinsed the rag. "Do you have homework to do tonight like you normally do?"

Kurt shook his head. "No, last week I worked ahead on the days I didn't spend with Adam. I wanted to have time with you this evening. I knew we'd want to talk. We always talk, but this time about us and how you see us as a couple."

"I know it's still pretty early, but we could shower and lie around on the sofa and snuggle and talk."

"Sounds perfect. I'll go first so I can do my extra stuff while you're in the shower."

* * *

Kurt had a hard time keeping his mind focused on his tasks at hand while Sebastian was in the shower just four feet from where he was standing leaning into the mirror to see his skin clearly. When the water turned off, he jumped back. "Give me a sec. I'm almost done."

Sebastian opened the shower curtain enough to reach for his towel. He heard Kurt's breath hitch and smiled knowing that his presence was affecting Kurt. "It's fine. I can dry off in here, mostly."

Kurt put his last bottle back into the basket he kept them in and left the room.

Sebastian heard the door shut and stepped out to finish up. He slipped a pair of the pajama pants on that he had specifically bought earlier that spring. He smiled looking at them, but still preferred to sleep in just his underwear, slipping the pants of and keeping them on the bed in case he needed to get up during the night. He looked in the basket of stuff Kurt had in the corner on the marble counter top. Lotion, moisturizer, a bottle of foundation boasting its SPF level, toner, and several other things he had no idea of their purpose. He put some deodorant on and pulled a beat up t-shirt over his head. He grabbed his clothes, turned the light off, but left the vent on as his pulled the door shut. He tossed his clothes into the washer, or tried to.

"Hey, Kurt. That fabric you washed is still in here. I'm not sure what you want done with it."

"Oh, crap. I needed to get that out right away. Oh, well, I'll just have to iron it a lot more than I wanted to." He came out of his room and took all of the pieces out and took them pack to his room.

Sebastian could hear him shaking them vigorously as he went into his room to grab the stuff he had brought back with him that he had originally planned to wash before he let, but that was before he got an email that there was an opening on the earlier flight.

They nearly ran into each other as they came out of their rooms.

Sebastian laughed. He let Kurt walk out of the alcove and then he put his clothes into the washer. "I'm not going to run it now, but this way it will be ready to go in the morning. Right now I have a date with you and the sofa." He closed the washer and the laundry closet door. He took the basket back to his closet and returned with a class iPod and a dock. He sat it on the TV console and plugged it in. He turned back towards the sofa. "How about some music?"

"Sure."

He pulled up a soft jazz playlist and started it. He adjusted the volume to block out the remnants of the street traffic. "I think we still need some other lights in here. I'm going to look through the choices at Ikea and maybe Target. We need something small enough to fit in the space in the square openings of the wall unit. Something just bright enough that we can see to move around." He turned the lights on in both of their bedrooms to provide a little light.

"Okay. We can window shop or we can also check out some secondhand places for vintage lights. I can change the wiring out so it won't be a fire hazard."

"Superman," Sebastian teased as he crawled over the ottoman and worked his way into a comfortable snuggle on Kurt's chest. "I looked through your basket of products in the bathroom. I have no idea what some of them are for, but maybe you could help me find something to keep my skin from being dry. I've tried several types of lotions and not liked any of them."

"Of course." He kissed Sebastian on the top of his head. "You can try one of mine and see what you think."

He nuzzled in more. "Thanks." He took Kurt's hand and interlaced their fingers. He started to caress it with his thumb. "What did you mean by talking about how I see us as a couple."

"Well, over the course of our friendship this spring, you've refrained from treating me like a girl, which I appreciate more than I can tell you. But society divides couples into the guy's role and the girl's role. Your parents, by your account, have been good parents and good examples of being adults, which is unusual, at least from my perspective, but it could be more common than I think. My own interactions with adults who were supposed to be good role models didn't really include them living up to their role model potential. I don't know how closely your parents followed the stereotypical division of labor. Although, knowing what your mom did and does for a living, she's not the type to run to your dad for every little thing like not knowing how to tighten a wobbly doorknob."

Sebastian chuckled. "Definitely not. Before you go any further, I'll say that my mom is the fixer of the two. My dad's parents had enough money to hire people to do their lawn, clean their house once a week, and have someone come in to do things like paint or clean the carpets. That led my dad to growing up not having to do chores or really learn how to do anything at all. His parents valued book knowledge. He worked hard in school and was valedictorian at Dalton. He was a Warbler and played baseball. He went to Columbia and studied to become a lawyer. I'm sure he could manage to change a light bulb, but my mom could take a 50-year-old ceiling lighting fixture down and put up a new one by herself. So, my view on what women can do is pretty broad. On the other hand, my dad's job ended at the same time pretty much every day and he got accustomed to getting home before my mom and making dinner most of the time. My mom's not a big fan of cooking, so it worked out. They didn't have a housekeeper, but my dad did still have someone come to do the yard work. I have no idea how to work a lawn mower in a practical sense because we never owned one. But living here in New York, my lack of lawn mower use won't be a problem."

"So, you're not coming into this with some pre-conceived notion of our roles."

"Well, I know that anything I know how to do, I'm pretty sure you can already do, but the reverse is far from true. But I am willing to learn new things and I won't just say 'Why don't you just do it since you already know how.'''

Kurt let out an audible sigh of relief.

"From what you've said about your previous living arrangement, you were taken advantage of. That's not something I intend to do, and if it ever feels to you like I am, please tell me. I'm not a mind reader and I know you're MO has been to just tamp down your frustration and do whatever it is because it's easier to do it than to not. I don't want you to feel like that with me. If there is ever something I have really put all of my effort into and absolutely continue to fail at it, we can discuss some kind of mutually agreeable option. So, if no matter how hard I try, I can't do X, we can negotiate for you do X and I do A, or A and B, or even A, B, and C, depending on how time consuming X is. I would trade and do things you're already doing that I can do equally well for you to have time to do whatever X is that I can't do."

"That sounds… extraordinarily reasonable. Really. It's perfect."

"I'm also willing to do more than my fair share to get more time with you. So, if I get all of my schoolwork done an hour early, I have no problems with doing something you were going to do when you got home to free up your time for me to spend more time with you."

Kurt was stunned silent. "Really?"

"Sure. Your question of how I see us as a couple is that I see us as a team of two. Have you ever seen a 2-person beach volleyball game?"

"Actually, yeah. It was one of the Olympic sports we all watched the finals for last summer."

"Well, I see us like that in a way. Neither person is in charge. They switch off in their roles, but one might be better at certain types of moves of shots. If one falls, the other tries to move in to cover and return the ball. But the team would never win if one person always did all of the work."

"I like that."

"What about you? You haven't really said anything."

"I grew up with a very traditional division of labor, but my mom let my interests guide what I learned to do. She taught me to cook and sew and paint, as much as those things can be taught to a child eight and under. Mostly things like hand stitching on felt projects, sock puppets, and latchhook pillows. Shrinky Dinks, paint by numbers and free painting, mostly watercolors. My dad built a small 3-sided puppet stage where I could sit on the floor and put my arms up and they could be seen so I could put on puppet shows. We made simple meals, but at the time, I felt so mature about it."

"I'm sure."

"When she died, my dad didn't know how to do any of the things she did. I got sick of frozen dinners, pizza, and McDonald's. I convinced him to let me cook. He stayed in the kitchen and did the heavy lifting and kept and eye on everything. I gradually progressed from grilled cheese and simple soups to more complicated things. He loves to tell the story of when I wrecked the kitchen trying to make paella in the middle of the night when I was 9 and couldn't sleep one night."

Sebastian laughed.

"It was significantly more complicated than it seemed in the cookbook."

"I'm sure." He chuckled. "I can see little you trying to do it all by yourself."

"Mmm hmm."

"But you don't have to do it by yourself now."

Kurt lifted his head up and let go of Sebastian's hand to wipe his eyes. "I'm sorry. Let me get up and go get some tissues."

"I'll get them. Just stay here." Sebastian grabbed the box from the bathroom and came right back.

"Thanks. I'll be honest. Right now, it just feels like you're telling me what I want to hear. My heart wants what you're saying so badly, but my head keeps telling me that it doesn't exist. That you're just playing me."

Sebastian kissed him gently. "Wait here." He skittered off to his room and came back. He had his phone in his hand. He texted his mom.

-Kurt asked me out on a date. We had a great time.

-That's great. I'm really happy for you. I know how much you were hoping that he feels the way you do.

-I asked him to be my boyfriend.

-And he said?'

-Yes.

-Are you happy?

-Very.

-Me too.

-I'll text more later.

-Ok. I'm glad for you.

He turned it off and pushed up to his knees and leaned over the back and placed the phone on the wall unit. "I know that doesn't prove the sincerity of what I said, but I definitely wouldn't have told my mom how I felt about you if it weren't true."

Kurt opened his arms, inviting Sebastian back.

He smirked and shook his head and rearranged himself, making room for Kurt to snuggle up to him instead.

Kurt laughed and scooted over and leaned into Sebastian. "I'm going to choose to believe you and trust you to be a man of your word. That's not something I'm very willing to do these days, but I'm making an exception for you."

"Thanks."

"You do still owe me a Lexus though," he teased.

"I'll keep that in mind for when I get a job."

"I see how it is," he continued to tease. "You won't spend your trust fund on me." He faux pouted.

"I don't have a trust fund to dip into, Babe. I have my personal savings, which doesn't amount to much. I have the checking account that my parents have deposited my allowance into since I left for France, which has more in it than my savings account because I was cautious and frugal. I didn't want to spend everything they gave me each month and then have to go running to them for more money if something came up. They gave me this place. That's it. Not like that. That sounded bad. I just mean that there's not some multi-million dollar stash awaiting me at some point in the future."

"Okay. I just heard guys at Dalton talking about their trust funds. I'm sorry I assumed. I was just teasing anyway."

"It's fine. I know I said that my mom had made two million dollars before I was born, but she invested a lot for when they retire. And she's a big supporter of places like St. Jude Hospital and other children's charities. She put back enough money to pay for me to go to NYU or Columbia. We're rich, yes, but maybe not in the way you imagined."

"I honestly didn't really think about it all that much, other than not wanting you to think that I'm a freeloader."

"Not even close, Babe." He moved his arm so he could play with Kurt's hair. "But I won't ever mention our division of the bills to anyone, including the fact that my parents gave me this place. People can just assume whatever they want. And if I'm asked directly and have to give an answer, I'll say that we divide the costs equitably. Most people will just assume that means evenly. And I'll just leave it at that. It's no one's business. You're not a kept man and being with me romantically wasn't part of the original agreement, and it isn't now. You don't owe me any non-monetary remuneration."

"That would be the kind of thing that Santana will suggest once she knows that we're dating. She'll imply that I'm seeing you now so that I can stay here, that I'm prostituting myself for a place to live."

"I'll stand my ground that our financial arrangements are equitable and none of her business. Why do you even want to be around her?"

"Most of the time I don't know. I do like Dani though. Santana has a lot of pent up self-loathing. But if Dani likes her, she's obviously managed to reign it in and be less hostile and more considerate." Kurt took Sebastian's hand and placed a kiss in the palm and shut his fingers.

They sat, leaned back and relaxing exchanging chaste kisses and snuggling close.

Sebastian broke the silence. "I want to take you to Florida."

"What? When?"

"I checked your school calendar online. We'd leave on the 27th and come back July 5th, in the morning, if we have to."

"That's eight days. You want to take me on an 8-day vacation?"

"I do, very much so. I've been trying to figure out how to get you to say 'yes' for a week."

"I can't miss that much work."

"Remember all our talks about living and enjoying it?"

"Yes."

"Plane tickets aren't that much. And food costs the same or less. You'll eat eight days worth of food here or there. It won't eat into your budget that much, but the sooner we buy tickets, the less they'll be."

Kurt didn't look convinced. "I've never done nothing for a whole week. I've been working since I was 14. I invent ways to keep myself busy if I have too much free time."

"Well, rest assured that we won't just be sitting on a chair in the lanai for the 16 hours a day that we're not sleeping. I spent every evening this past week making an itinerary with lots of options. There are boat tours, bus tours, historical sites, manatees and other animals, pirate ships, haunted places, restaurants, shopping. Lots of stuff."

"I doubt any of that is free."

"No, it's not."

Kurt sighed heavily. "Do you have any idea how badly I want to say 'yes'?"

"Do it. Say 'yes'," he whispered like he was Kurt's conscience.

Kurt chuckled silently, barely keeping it inside.

"Would it help you to know that I was going to ask you even if you hadn't asked me out this morning? I just want to spend time with you there. We already talked about this before I left. You've become my best friend over the last three months and I've never had a best friend."

Kurt realized how much Sebastian was risking, how much they were both risking. He relaxed into Sebastian and focused himself back on the present. He took a deep breath. He had never felt so right and unpressured. "Yes, I'll go with you provided that we can find an affordable flight. And we don't go overboard on the sightseeing costs."

Sebastian leaned down and tipped Kurt's chin up enough to kiss him. "This is going to be epic. You're going to love it."

 _I think I'm going to love you much sooner than I had considered possible._ "I'm sure I will." His eyes were getting heavy. "Do you want to sleep with me?"

Sebastian startled a bit. "I'm not sure what you're asking me. Is this a future question like the division of labor thing, like do I want to have sex at some point in the future?"

Kurt looked up, eyes panicked. His breathing sped up. "That's not what I was asking. I was asking if you wanted to sleep in my bed with me tonight."

"Yes." _Tonight and forever._ Sebastian leaned down and kissed Kurt on the forehead. _What have you done to me Kurt Hummel? Forever?_ "Definitely, yes."


	23. Chapter 23

Sebastian stopped in Kurt's doorway after he had and brushed his teeth.

Kurt was already lying in his bed on his back when he heard Sebastian stop after he came out of the bathroom. He pushed up onto his elbow so he could see past the lamp.

"I hadn't seen the lamps on, I guess? I like how your new side tables turned out. They look perfect with your bed and dresser. The lamps are really pretty. I like the different colored glass."

"There from my bedroom in Lima. I used to have them sitting on my dresser. I left the glass shades in a box in the closet still since I didn't have anything to set them on. That's why you don't remember seeing them. You probably just saw the bases."

"That makes sense."

"Did you change your mind?"

"About what?"

"About sleeping with me?"

"Definitely not." He stepped inside and walked around the bed.

"Do you want me to leave the light on for a while?"

"You can turn it off." He slipped under the sheet and light blanket and lay on his back as well.

"You seem nervous. We've shared this bed before."

"I know, but you weren't really thrilled with it."

"I've already apologized about how I reacted that night. I wasn't thrilled with anything that weekend – myself most of all and the position I was in. Accepting your help to fix something I had a hand in causing was humiliating. I'm not the best at accepting help."

"You don't say?" Sebastian deadpanned. He started to hum "Lean on Me".

Kurt started humming a harmony line. When the finished the chorus, he said, "It goes both ways you know."

"I do."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm better than okay. I'm great. Actually, I might have thought about sleeping in here more than was probably acceptable. Not in a lewd way, just in a longing way, I guess. I felt like that might turn out to be the only time, and you were less than thrilled, as we already mentioned."

"Oh. Well, I've thought about it too, and not in a negative way. I woke up and you were snuggling me, so I had a good idea that you were snuggly before today."

"I see." He turned on his face towards Kurt.

Kurt rolled onto his side. "We could kiss more."

"I like kissing, quite a lot actually. You especially."

"I see." He bent his right arm and slipped his arm up under his pillow so he could get closer to Sebastian. He reached out with his left arm and put it on Sebastian's waist and pulled gently to encourage Sebastian to roll over too. As soon as he did, Kurt reached up and ran his left hand down Sebastian's face, helping him to center in on Sebastian's soft lips and kissed him gently. _How could anyone spend nearly a year with you and not fall madly in love with you? I'm not sure I'll make it_ "a week." He realized too late he had said that last part out loud.

"What about a week?" Sebastian asked.

Kurt tried to recover quickly. "The trip – it's in just a couple of weeks."

"Mmm hmm." Sebastian kissed him again. "I was really surprised you agreed so quickly. I honestly thought I'd have to do a lot more convincing."

 _Seems I'm easily persuaded by you._ "My boyfriend wants to take me on a vacation. After I got over the initial shock, there wasn't really a reason to refuse – as long as I can arrange for the time off from work. I've been working an insane number of hours for months. And I'm pretty sure I told you, but in case I didn't, my parents are paying my tuition for the summer too, so I got all of that straightened out last week and I'm not completely broke now. I actually have more savings than I've had since I sold my Navigator last fall. Tomorrow when I get home from work, you can show me all of the planning you did and we can pick what we want to go see."

"Sure."

Kurt took Sebastian's right hand with his let and intertwined their fingers. He brought Sebastian's hand up to his mouth and kissed along his knuckles. "After you left the last time, I really missed you. I did a lot of thinking. Remember I said I could give you the short or long version."

"Yeah."

"Well, the not quite so short, yet still not long version is that I realized how much I missed you when you left. I read back through our entire text log – more than once. I saw how tentative we both were at first and I saw our friendship grow as I continued to read. We made it through the surface pleasantries, on to more personal things that were still mostly common knowledge to people who had been around either of us, to progressively more person information – hopes, dreams, fears, but we were still cautious to keep the topics to schooling, careers, travel. Things that were personal, yes, but not relational. We didn't talk about what kind of person we hoped to be involved with, what we liked in other people, how we saw ourselves in relationships, not just romantic relationships, but friendships too. I thought back to how you told me that you liked me that day at Dalton. I know, at first, I blew you off, thinking that the flirtiness was just to get a rise out of me – like the nonsense at the airport."

"I get that. I was always trying to get your attention. Poorly, but still. I guess I was still in the negative attention is better than no attention stage. I was just a mess, but we've discussed that. I was still trying to get your attention that day at Dalton too, with the note."

"But that's not what this is now."

"No, it's definitely not. Like you said, we've gotten to know each other and I would never be happy to have with a fling with you. I told you earlier I'm playing for keeps now."

"I was a mess when you brought me here. But living on my own and seeing a therapist and getting to know you slowly gave me time to heal, but I still wanted to make sure you hadn't changed your mind or lost interest once you had actually gotten to know me. That's why I asked this morning. I didn't want to make false assumptions. Just because you liked me at one point in time, didn't mean that you still do. I found out that my first crush wasn't at all what I would have wanted in a partner, even if he had turned out to be gay. I just wanted to make sure that now you know the real me that you still want me."

"I do." He kissed Kurt gently. "Actually I want you so much more than I did before."

Kurt felt his face flush. "Really?"

"This." He kissed Kurt again. "This is amazing. Never have I been so open with anyone. It's been three months and who knows how many texts and a bunch of phone calls and a few weekends together where we slowly let our walls down. And now it's just us."

"Just us. Two snuggly people who now have someone to snuggle with." Kurt scooted closer.

"And kiss." Sebastian kissed him.

"Yes, and kiss. But snuggles for now because I have to get up and go to NYADA in the morning and be able to sing."

"A few more kisses? And then you can be the big spoon since I obviously already managed to pull that off in my sleep."

Kurt chuckled. He scooted closer again and pressed his lips back to Sebastian's. The same feeling of utter relaxation and being energized flowed through him again. "As much as I don't want to say this, go ahead and turn over so we can go to sleep. Professor Carlton will not be impressed if I show up looking dead tired. He's actually the first person willing to work with my 'unique' voice, so I'm hoping to stay on his good side, so in case I ever need a vocal coach in the future, maybe he'd be willing to take me on as private student."

Sebastian kissed him once again and rolled over. Kurt scooted up behind him and after a bit of adjusting, they got comfortable and fell asleep.

* * *

Sebastian woke up to the sound of Kurt's alarm. Kurt was draped all over him. Kurt had him trapped like he was Kurt's personal teddy bear. His right arm was under Sebastian's pillow. Kurt's left arm was under his own, bent at the elbow with his hand on Sebastian's right should. Kurt's left leg was over the top of both of his legs.

_I love waking up like this._

Kurt moaned at the sound of the alarm. "Sorry. It's on your side. It helps keep me from just hitting the snooze." He stretched a bit, more like tensing all of his muscles and then relaxing again.

Sebastian reached out to the side table with his left arm and hit the snooze. "Just one snooze cycle won't hurt. I'll make your breakfast while you get dressed. I don't want you to get up just yet. I never knew I'd like being someone's teddy bear, but I really do."

"You're really not shaped at all like a bear at all. Far too long and lanky for that." He kissed the back of Sebastian's neck. What's long, lanky and utterly adorable?"

"Please don't say 'meerkat'."

"Why? It's true."

"So, it wasn't an insult?"

"Backhanded compliment, perhaps. Ferrets are also lanky and adorable. If you'd prefer."

"I guess it doesn't matter as long as you think whatever you call me is something adorable."

"I see. Well, I've never known of any domesticated meerkats, but I've seen plenty of adorable videos of ferrets. They're intelligent and seemingly drawn to trouble. They're fun to play with and watch. And snuggly, I think. But I won't call you my ferret or _mon furet_ or anything."

"You speak French well enough to know the world for ferret?"

"Long story for another time. Right now it's snuggling time according to you. But the short answer is yes."

"Mmm. _My mom's going to love that_. _She already likes you, so don't worry._ "

"Are you really okay with me all over you like this or do you want to be able to stretch out?"

"I'm totally okay with you all over me, but maybe we can turn over for a bit and I can hold you before we have to get up."

"Sure." Kurt scooted back and rolled over.

Sebastian slipped his arm under Kurt's pillow and kissed him on the back of the neck as he wrapped his right around Kurt and pulled him flush to his chest. Kurt ran his fingers softly along Sebastian's forearm as they lay in comfortable silence.

"Do you like this?"

"Mmm hmm. It's a little tickly, but in a good way."

Kurt's alarm went of again before either of them was ready for it to. He pulled Sebastian's hand up to his lips and kissed the palm of his hand and closed it. "I have to get up now."

Sebastian kissed him on the back of the neck and let him up. Kurt went into his closet and changed. He did what he needed to in the bathroom quickly and when he went around to the kitchen, Sebastian was waiting for him with his lunch and his breakfast. He handed Kurt the slice of homemade bread and the coffee in his travel mug. He picked the lunch up and went behind Kurt and put it in his bag, along with a stainless steel water bottle.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Babe."He winked at Kurt. "Nine extra minutes of snuggles was worth it."

"You're a sap."

"Possibly, but you can't tell anyone, it will ruin my reputation."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Five minutes around the two of us and they're going to figure it out."

Sebastian sighed. "Oh, well. It was a stupid reputation anyway." He stepped closer and kissed Kurt. "I'll see you this evening." He opened the door and Kurt stepped out.

"See you later."

* * *

At 5:55, Sebastian pushed the front door of JJ's open. He was greeted as he stepped inside.

"Something I can help you with? We're about to close for the evening."

"Oh, no. Not at all. I just came to meet my boyfriend." _My boyfriend._ He smiled. "I thought I'd surprise him."

"He's in the bay finishing up some spark plugs. You can see him if you step over here." The man pointed to a spot behind the counter. He saw Sebastian's hesitance. "It's no bother. It's not like anyone else is here right now."

Sebastian stepped to where he could see Kurt leaned over a burgundy car with his hands down in the engine. Kurt didn't notice that he was being watched, so it didn't slow him down.

"He's a good mechanic."

"What isn't he good at?" Sebastian countered.

Jared chuckled. "I know his other job is working for a fashion magazine and he's going to school to be on Broadway. And I'll get to say that he worked here and I knew him before he was big," he teased. "The first time I met him he was wearing bedazzled coveralls. He was so tiny, but he knew more about cars at seven than most grown men." He stepped closer to Sebastian and extended his hand. "Jared Johnson, owner."

Sebastian looked confused, but shook his hand. "Sebastian Smythe. Nice to meet you."

"I worked for Burt for a couple of years when I was figuring out where I wanted to settle down."

Sebastian nodded.

"Kurt's a hard worker. I was really bummed when he told me about his mom. She was a beautiful woman, and so sweet."

Sebastian just nodded and kept watching Kurt. He was in an element that Sebastian had never seen him in and he was so compellingly competent, moving through using the tools without pause.

"You've got it bad for him." Jared teased.

"I know. You're not bothered that he's gay are you?"

"My husband would find it very strange if I was. I don't wear a ring. It gets caught on stuff too easily. I met Alex here not long after I decided to give the Big Apple a try ten years ago. We've been together since a couple of weeks after that and we went up to Massachusetts and got married when they first legalized it nine years ago."

"Does Kurt know?"

Jared shook his head. "It hasn't come up yet. He's been working his butt off trying to prove that he's good enough to keep around. He did tell me that you want to take him to Florida for a week around the Fourth of July."

"That's true. Until he took this job, he'd been working 50-60 hours a week and going to school full time. He's still going to school full time right now. He gets that one week off in the middle of the summer and another week off before school starts again in the fall. The only time he took off this past year was to go to his dad's cancer treatment follow up appointment, his stepbrother's funeral, and he went back for his memorial."

"You've convinced me. I told him I'd check the schedule and let him know when he gets off. If you don't mind me being nosy, how was Burt's cancer checkup?"

"He was in remission."

"Good. I'll give him the time off. I'll work the days myself if I have to and give him extra hours whenever he can come in, if he needs them. God, the kid needs a break. How old was his stepbrother?"

"He was 19, like Kurt was at the time."

"That's awful."

"Yeah." Sebastian started to step away because Kurt was done, but he wasn't quick enough to prevent himself from being spotted.

Kurt came out of the work area into the customer service room. "Sebastian?" He called out as he pushed the door open.

"Yeah, Babe, it's me. I came to pick you up and take you out."

"I have my school stuff from earlier and shorts and a t-shirt."

"Casual is perfect. I'll be right here."

A few minutes later, Kurt was back, his school bag on his back.

Jared spoke up before Kurt could say anything. "I checked the schedule and we're fine. You can have that week off. The shop's going to be closed a couple of days for the holiday anyway. If we get backlogged, I'll just tell people it will be a bit longer. And if things get really crazy, I'll get a couple of guys to work a couple of extra hours to have more people here at the same time."

"Seriously? I haven't even been working here that long."

"Look, you're only young once. Go have fun in Florida. There will be still be cars here for you to fix when you get back."

"Thanks, Jared. I really appreciate it. I'm used to being screamed at for saying that I have an exam and need to come in 30 minutes late."

"Yeah, that's dumb. Stuff needs done. I hire people to do it. But it's just stuff and people are people."

"Well, I really appreciate it. I haven't been many places. Here since last fall, Ohio my whole life before that, and one trip to Tennessee before I started junior high. The mountains were beautiful, though."

"Well, Florida is beautiful in places. You'll like it. You two can get going. I'll mark the schedule, and I'll see you Friday."

* * *

"Well, he seems nice and incredibly human for a store owner."

"He is nice. I'm surprised to see you." Kurt reached for his hand, and then pulled back.

Sebastian stopped and looked confused. "You don't want to hold my hand?"

"I do. I just didn't grab the hand cleaning kit I needed to this morning, so my hands are still stained from the shop."

"I don't care." He reached out and took Kurt's hands. "If any of it gets on my hands somehow, I'll just wash them in whatever you're going to use. No big deal." He started to swing Kurt's hand just a little, his excitement spilling over. "So, ice cream or milkshakes?"

"For dinner?"

"Sure. Eaten in reverse order. We'll have a salad at home with chicken breast and salsa, so it will be low calorie."

"Ice cream. I know just the place." Kurt turned when they got to the corner. "Now that you've seen me at the shop, do you want to come see my office at Vogue tomorrow?"

"Definitely, yes."

* * *

"Here, give me your hands." Kurt put some lotion in the tips of his fingers and took Sebastian's right hand and began to massage his hand to work the lotion in.

Sebastian did everything in his power not to moan, but failed. "Mmm. Let's go sit down for you to do that. I'm not sure I can remain upright."

Kurt grabbed the lotion and followed Sebastian out to the sofa. He sat on the ottoman and faced Sebastian and went back to massaging Sebastian's hand. He rubbed every bit of Sebastian's hand thoroughly. When he finished with the right hand he switched. About ten minutes later, he had finished.

Sebastian slid forward and kissed him. He stood up enough to push Kurt onto his back on the ottoman and he straddled him and kissed him. He leaned down onto his elbows, sliding his forearms under Kurt's shoulders. "That has got to be the most provocative thing I have ever experienced." He kissed Kurt again. "We are definitely doing that again." He kissed down Kurt's neck to his ear. "At least once a week."

Kurt smiled. "I can do that."

"Good," he said as he lightly licked along the edge of Kurt's ear, causing him to shiver. He moved his lips back to Kurt's. "Is this okay or too much?"

"It's fine, better than fine." His heart was racing. He had to focus on calming himself and not following his instinct to pull Sebastian down get the better of him. _We just got together yesterday._ He let Sebastian the lead in the kissing. He let himself get lost in his wonderfully soft lips.

After a few more kisses, Sebastian came to his senses and sat back up, pulling Kurt with him. "Come on. Sit next to me."

Kurt moved over to the sofa and snuggled into Sebastian's side.

He took a deep breath. "That was unexpected. I'm sorry if I startled you."

"I was enjoying kissing you – struggling not to pull you down on top of me, if I'm honest."

"That's why I got up because I was struggling with not lying down on top of you. Maybe now's a good time to discuss boundaries before one of us crosses one the other wants in place."

"Well, I think French kissing and leaving our clothes on for now."

"Seems reasonable. I just don't want to push you."

"French kissing wouldn't be pushing me. I don't really have any issues with going further either. We're not 15. I think I just feel like if we move too quickly that we'll resort to something sexual to resolving any difficulties we might run into in the next couple of weeks as we figure ourselves out at a couple."

"That makes sense. So, we can go back to the kissing?"

"Yes." Kurt moved and sat in on Sebastian's lap. "Okay?"

"Mmm hmm," he mumbled, as he leaned forward to kiss Kurt.

Kurt put his hands on Sebastian's shoulders and pushed him back into the cushions and pressed in. This time, not stopping with the chaste kissing they had been engaged in before, licking along Sebastian's upper lip. His hands moved to Sebastian's neck and the back of his hair as they explored first tentatively, and then more curiously. Sebastian let his hands wander up under the edge of Kurt's t-shirt just a bit.

When they broke for air, a smile lit up Kurt's face to his eyes. "Okay, so slow is going to be really hard."

Sebastian chuckled and flashed him a gorgeous smile. "Yeah, you're right." He pulled him closer and kissed him.

* * *

Kurt walked out of his English class to find Sebastian waiting for him on Tuesday. He had a lunch with him in his hand.

"I thought I'd eat with you on the way to your office."

Kurt stepped closer and kissed him. "Are you going to surprise me all the time?"

"Not all the time because then it wouldn't be a surprise."

Kurt rolled his eyes and smiled. He pulled his lunch out of his bag and led them toward the subway. Sebastian began to eat as well. They didn't talk much and finished eating by the time they go to the Conde Nast building.

They stopped at the front and Kurt got Sebastian a visitor's pass.

Kurt turned to put it on him when they got in the elevator. "I like your outfit. Thanks for dressing up."

"You're welcome. I wouldn't want to embarrass you."

"You wouldn't, but you did a good job."

He blushed slightly. "Thanks."

The elevator opened and Sebastian followed Kurt to his office. He stepped into what seemed to be a glorified closet that had room for a desk, but not much else. He stepped to the corner opposite of Kurt's desk to give him room to maneuver around and sit down.

"So, this is it. I field calls when Isabelle is busy. I prioritize who gets to talk to her. I take a lot of messages. When she needs me to go with her, I always come back to a lot of voice mails. But it's great because I get to see some of the photo shoots and I get to sit in on meetings. I'm even writing a small column on college fashion in New York City. It's just a few paragraphs with a few small photos, but it's fun."

Sebastian smiled at how animated Kurt was about what he was doing. He was glad to see that working there made him happy. He was getting lost in his exuberance when he came back to the present. "Aunt Izzie?"

Isabelle turned. "Sebastian?"

"What's going on? You two know each other?"

They both started to talk at the same time, but Sebastian stopped and let Isabelle explain. "I told you that I'm from Columbus."

"I remember."

"So, Sebastian is my cousin's nephew." She paused. "But he's also my second cousin. His dad is also my cousin, but he's older by enough years that we didn't play with him much. He and Benjamin, my older brother, spent their time together. They're still close. Anyway, his aunt Victoria is like my sister and when he was young, he thought we were sisters and called me Aunt Izzie. It just stuck and Jillian and Alexis call me that as well. So do Norris and Randolph, who are actually my nephews."

Kurt was laughing by the end. "That made no sense."

"I'll draw you a family tree later," Sebastian said. "I'll let you get to work." He moved to leave the office.

"Oh, no, honey. Go ahead and let Kurt show you around. I haven't seen you since Christmas. I didn't even know you had already moved to town."

"It was just the day before yesterday."


	24. Chapter 24

When Kurt got home from work late that afternoon, Sebastian had dinner ready when he walked in the door.

"Mmm," Kurt said as he closed and locked the door. "What is that? It smells fantastic."

"It's something I found online when I was looking through a recipe blog. It sounded good and we had everything I needed to make it, so I gave it a shot. It's ready when you are."

"I'll wash my hands and be right back."

Sebastian intercepted him as he walked through the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and kissed him and released him, not preventing him from freshening up like he already knew Kurt wanted to do before doing anything else when he got home. Kurt smiled softly and pecked him on the lips once more before walking the rest of the way through the kitchen and around the corner.

He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. _Slow. Slow down. Focus. Dinner._ "That ass."

"What?" Kurt said as he came back around the corner. "Did I upset you? You just called me an ass."

Sebastian stepped forward and pulled Kurt to his chest. "Oh, no, Babe. I did not call you an ass. I let one of my 'lewd comments' escape when I didn't think you'd hear me. You told me that they make you uncomfortable, so I was trying to keep it to myself, but here I am sticking my foot in my mouth again."

"Oh." He wiggled his eyebrows and teasingly said, "I can think of a much better body part than a foot to go into your mouth."

Sebastian nearly choked laughing. "Oh, my God, Babe. That was great. Does this mean I don't have to keep my lewd comments to myself anymore?"

"Well, I mean in public, where other people can hear, I think PG is reasonable. You never know when there might be children with extraordinary hearing lurking around. But when it's the two of us, I'll get used to it eventually, I think."

"I think you'll come to enjoy my appreciation of your physique and all of the things that I'd like to do with you."

Kurt blushed. "What about all of the things that I'd like to do with you?"

"Don't tell me. We're going to eat and I'd like to sit comfortably in my chair."

Kurt laughed. "Just a little hint then. You, me, the sofa – after we eat."

"Sounds perfect."

* * *

"I think I'm going to make or buy some t-shirt fabric lounge pants," Kurt said as he came out of his bedroom in sweats and a t-shirt. "It's just a little warm in here or these. And I want to snuggle."

"I'll turn the A/C down for a little while," Sebastian offered. "Or we could just cuddle in boxers."

"Umm hmm. I'm not sure how that would count as fully dressed."

"Well, it's not UNdressed," he teased, looking Kurt up and down quite lasciviously. He licked his lips. "Come on over. I have a snuggle for you right here." He patted his lap.

Kurt took him up on his offer, which surprised him. He crawled over the ottoman and up Sebastian's legs and sat facing Sebastian. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck and leaned forward to kiss him, just once, gently. "Now, what?"

"More of that. Definitely more."

"M'kay." He got comfortable and tenderly pressed his lips to Sebastian's.

Sebastian wanted to pull him closer and kiss him with more passion, but at the same time he didn't want to. Nothing had ever been gentle and sweet with Jean. It was an arrangement, not a relationship. Everything about the two situations was different from Sebastian's perspective. He wanted these little soft sweet kisses with Kurt just as much as he wanted the passionate ones. He settled his hands on Kurt's shoulder blades and gently slid them across his back.

Kurt pulled back just enough to kiss each closed eyelid. And then down his cheek to his left ear. "You'll tell me if you don't like the way something feels, right?"

"Mmm hmm."

He placed soft kisses down to the nape of his neck. "Scoot towards the corner. I still want to sit in your lap, but my feet are falling asleep like this." Kurt moved and let Sebastian reposition himself. Kurt pushed his knees apart and sat in the space between and leaned into Sebastian's chest. He slipped his right arm behind Sebastian and his left arm up around his neck and played with his hair.

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt and held him close. "Better?"

"I liked the other position too. I just need to figure out a way to keep my feet from going numb, but yes, I'm comfy. Are you?"

"Very much so." He ran his fingers across Kurt's bicep gently. "You've got some serious muscles going on here, Babe. You've either gotten a lot more buff or you've always hidden them under those long-sleeved shirts."

"A little of the first and a lot more of the second."

Sebastian pushed Kurt's sleeve up to his shoulder and ran his fingers along the defined muscles. "Very hot."

"I have been doing some low-weight, high-rep lifting in the stage combat training room. I'd like to build my endurance, not bulk up. I like being able to wear form-fitting dress shirts and if I bulk up my shoulders, I'll end up going up a size in shirts and I won't be able to wear what I have. Going back to changing tires and working on cars will keep some of the muscle on, but I need to find the gym at CCNY and see what's available."

"I need to do the same at Columbia. I wonder if either place would let us work out together."

"I'll ask when I go find it to check it out."

"We could do yoga here together, if you like yoga."

"I do. I don't have a mat here. When we packed my stuff, it wasn't there. All I can figure is that Santana borrowed it permanently. I'll get another one. I hadn't bothered because I was doing it at NYADA."

Sebastian reached behind the cushion next to him and pulled a spiral bound notebook out. "I made the family tree like I said." He opened the notebook and held it so that Kurt could see. "So, Bertram and Isabelle Smythe had a son and daughter. Leland and Violet. Leland married Cecile – my grandparents. They had my dad, Arthur, and his sister Victoria, who married Antony. They had Jillian and Alexis – my cousins."

"I remember you talking about them. They lived in Lima for a while and Jillian hated it, so they moved back in Columbus."

"Yes. Uncle Antony works as a mortgage broker or mortgage something. Uncle Benjamin's an accountant and they're always talking about investments and stuff. Anyway, he was offered a better paying position in Lima. Aunt Victoria works from home. They rented their house in Columbus out, not knowing whether they'd want to stay. When Jillian hated it, they moved back as soon as they could."

"At least they didn't lose their house since it was such a short stay. Not that I can blame them. If I had known them, I would have voiced my less-than-stellar review of living in Lima and saved them the effort. Although I do understand trying to get a better paying job and spending less on living expenses, living in Lima isn't worth the savings."

Sebastian shook his head. "But the coffee is good." He teased.

"There's that."

"And you're all kinds of amazing and you're from there, so it's not entirely all bad."

Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Hey, now. I'm entitled to an opinion and my opinion is that you're hot." He leaned in and kissed Kurt. "And super talented."

"You are entitled to your opinion. I'm just not used to hearing it yet."

"You will be because you said that I can say what I think now." He kissed him again. "Now, where was I?" He looked back at his family tree drawing. "Here. Violet married Thomas Wright and they had Isabelle and Benjamin. Isabelle is not married, as you know. Benjamin married Laura and they have two sons – Norris and Randolph. Norris is a sophomore at MIT, studying architecture. Randy is a senior, still in Columbus."

"You didn't know that Isabelle worked at Vogue dot com?"

"I didn't actually. She's old enough to be my mom and she's best friends with my aunt. The three of them and Aunt Laura hung around together at family gatherings talking about my mom's house renovations, interior design, and fashion. I knew she lived here in New York City and she worked in fashion. We've met up with her plenty of times for family dinners and stuff when we've visited. Sometimes Uncle Thomas and Aunt Violet came with us. Even Uncle Benjamin, Aunt Laura, Norris and Randy came sometimes. We tended to split up by gender. I know it sounds lame that I didn't know exactly where she worked, but it just never occurred to me to ask her. She and Aunt Victoria were best friends growing up. They only lived walking distance from each other and they both liked my mom when she and my dad moved to Columbus after they graduated and got married. I guess it's weird after thinking about how she and Uncle Benjamin are really my second cousins, but she is totally my aunt."

Kurt laughed. "Sometimes family roles don't match the family tree. It's fine. It was just a surprise. I think the population of Columbus is, like, 900,000 people. With Isabelle's last name not being Smythe, there was never a thought that crossed my mind that you two were related. Even if it had been Smythe, I probably wouldn't have considered the possibility that you were related. "

"Plus, I'm sure that any time I've mentioned her, I called her Aunt Izzie because everyone calls her Izzie. Her mom named her after my great grandma, her grandma, who was still alive when she was growing up."

"And she was called Isabelle."

"Yes." He flipped the page. "Here's my mom's family tree."

Kurt took the notebook and looked at it for a couple of minutes. "You've only really mentioned your Uncle David, Aunt Elise, Henri, and Odele by name because you call Bernard and Marie, "Papi' and 'Mémé', which makes sense. Are you not close to the rest of them?"

"Papi and Mémé's brother's and sisters don't live in the heart of Paris. They live out quite a ways and they still spent time with them, but Henri, Odele, and I didn't go with them that often, just for bigger family get-togethers. Mémé is the youngest by about five years and she got married when she was a bit older. I think and my mom and Elise are about ten years younger than their cousins, so they just didn't grow up that close. By the time my mom and aunt were the age to go to _lycée_ , their cousins were already married and starting to have families. My second cousins are maybe 10 years older than me and their kids are toddlers."

"That makes sense. Sometime I'll draw mine and show you." He closed the notebook, put it on the seat next to him, and leaned back into Sebastian. "The only one you might ever meet is my dad's younger brother Andy, but that's only if he's in Lima at the same time we are. He lives in Toledo. He was married for a while, but they got divorced. No kids. I think that might be why they got divorced. She remarried and has two kids now, which I found out by eavesdropping when I was about 12."

"What is your view on having kids?"

"I like kids. I'm not really determined to be a father, but I'm not adamantly opposed to it either. I know that surrogacy is very expensive and adoption would potentially take a very long time because I'm gay and there are still a lot of state agencies that won't place a baby with a gay man or gay couple. So, I don't have my heart set on it, but if I could afford to hire a surrogate at some point in the future, like 10 years from now, I might. It depends to on the direction my career takes. I haven't really spent a lot of time thinking about it to be honest. What about you?"

"Pretty much the same answer. I'm looking at nine years of school, so kids are a far-off thought. I know this is going to sound bad, but I've only ever considered the timing. I had never considered the cost. I know that my parents would help me if I need it. But I do know about the issues with being able to adopt."

"Nine years is a long time."

"It is. I might be able to get a job after six years, with just a Master's degree. But it's additional three more years to get a PhD. The cool part is that if I can get into the Master's program, I'd be a TA and get paid and I wouldn't have to pay tuition, so that would even out the insane cost of the first three years. Six years in graduate school working as a TA and an RA later would earn back all but about $40,000 of my undergraduate cost."

"Oh, wow. I had no idea."

"I did a lot of research. I know my parents can afford to send me to Columbia, but I wanted to make sure that it was a sound investment. And I'll have to work hard to get into the graduate program."

"My boyfriend's a super intelligent nerd. Do you have the nerdy scientist glasses to go with the lab coat look?"

"I do. I just usually wear them when I'm studying, not when other people are around that often. Why?"

"No reason."

"You'll see them when I start to study. I wear them in the mornings when I read sometimes if I'm not feeling like taking the time to put my contacts in."

"So, they're for reading?"

"Yep. What about you?"

"I have reading glasses, but I can still read without them, so no one really knows about them. McKinley didn't really have us reading that much in class and neither did NYADA. Our book work at NYADA was mostly done outside of class time and we used class time for being observed and taught hands on. But I'm sure you'll see them soon enough. I always wear them when I'm sewing, which I'll be doing a lot of next summer session."

Sebastian leaned down and kissed him. "My boyfriend can do everything."

Kurt's mind went back to Isabelle being related to Sebastian. "Hey, when I texted you last weekend, I said Isabelle was with me."

"Yeah, but there are lots of people named Isabelle and I told you that I've never called her that. There was just zero connection. I'm certain that I've never heard you say her last name. It's always just been 'I had to do this or that for Isabelle.'"

"I'm sure you're right. I've been working there so long now that I probably never use her last name. It's still weird that she's your aunt. Do you have any other secretly famous relatives?"

"No, but if you had asked me that yesterday, I would have said no. I never considered that Aunt Izzie was famous. I honestly didn't know. I mean, people would stop and talk to her sometimes, but she lives here. I honestly never gave it a second thought. You can ask the rest of them yourself at some point."

"You want me to meet your family?"

"Well, yeah. Do you not want to?"

"If you want me to."

"I just said I did."

"Then it's settled." Kurt snuggled in tighter, hoping to hide his tearful expression in the nape of Sebastian's neck.

Sebastian caught a glimpse of tears forming in Kurt's eyes. He let him hide his face, realizing that they were happy tears that someone was actually proud enough of their association with him to introduce him to their parents. He changed the topic away from that issue. "For two novice snugglers, I think we have become quite skilled in just two days."

Kurt chuckled silently. He kissed Sebastian's neck. "I have to concur. Yet," he paused dramatically. "Upon reflection, natural inclination towards aptitude should never replace repetition because, despite a natural proclivity, an upturn of proficiency will still be seen after deliberate practice."

Sebastian laughed. "Ah, yes. English. You have homework."

"I do." He leaned up enough to kiss Sebastian. "Read with me?"

"Sure."

* * *

Sebastian returned wearing his glasses and carrying one of the interesting books he had referred to when they were at the flea market and sat down on the sofa in nearly the same spot he had been in. Kurt came back a couple of minutes later with his glasses on along with a textbook and the book he was reading for English.

Instead of sitting in Sebastian's lap, he sat next to him, but in a perpendicular fashion. He bent his knees and made a bridge over Sebastian's. Once he was settled, Sebastian put his hand on Kurt's calf and gently rubbed his thumb along his skin, applying just enough pressure to not tickle.

"I like your glasses. They're very you," Sebastian said.

Kurt winked at him. "I'm always very me."

"I know. I like that about you."

"Your glasses are every bit as nerdy as I had imagined they would be. I'd give you 10/10 for staying in character."

"And on the fashion front?"

"Mmm. Maybe 3/10. Nerdy glasses aren't really all that in right now. But I like them on you. If enough gorgeous scientists start to wear them, you could start a new trend though."

Sebastian smiled and picked up his phone that had just pinged with a text.

-I think Kurt knows Izzie somehow.

Sebastian laughed, but didn't answer his mom's implied question.

-What makes you think that?

She called. "I was looking through the pictures she sent me towards the end of last week. And I'm 95% sure that plum reading chaise she bought is the same one you showed me that Kurt sent you a photo of. It didn't dawn on me at first because the lighting was so different, but I was looking at her photos again today when I saw a quilt that might match it."

Sebastian managed to not laugh until she finished.

"What's so funny?"

"Aunt Izzie is Kurt's boss at Vogue. We figured it out today at lunch when I went there with him and she stepped into his office."

"She always talked about how Kurt was her best intern."

"And he talked about Isabelle."

"Which no one here calls her."

"Exactly. By the way, he said yes, so we'll get there late on the 26th."

"Excellent. We won't be down until the 3rd. Victoria, Antony and the girls will be coming with us. They're going to stay the full week after we leave on the 8th."

"Alright."

"I'm putting up one of those doors like you suggested. I got it painted yesterday and I'm installing it before I leave in a few days. I got a few art prints to hang in the room with the twin beds. I think we're set."

"Sounds good."

"Text me your flight number."

"I will." He put his phone back in his pocket. "Sorry. I should have gotten up."

Kurt leaned forward and kissed him. "It's okay. You're not used to someone being around. We'll figure things out." He went back to reading. When he finished the assigned section, he put his book down. "So, your mom figured it out. And your aunt, uncle, and cousins will be there a couple of days when we are."

"Yep. You can meet them then. Jillian graduated this year and Alexis just finished her freshman year."

"Where is she going to college?"

"She's taking a gap year. She got into OSU, but deferred her admission. She wants to work for my mom for a while. And last I heard, she was going to go stay with my Aunt and Uncle for the winter in Paris, like January through March, I guess. Henri will be finishing up his first year of college in a couple of weeks. So, he'll be at school while she's there. Odele is 17 and speaks English well, so Jillian will be okay."

"That actually sounds really fun."

"She just turned 18 a couple of weeks ago. She was one of the youngest in her grade, so a gap year won't make her noticeably older. Like me being forced to repeat a grade – no one really thought about it because my birthday is really late in the year."

"Me too. Let me know how much I owe you for the ticket so I can get the money when I'm out tomorrow."

"I'll forward the email confirmation to you. Can I read the book you were reading for your English class?"

"Sure." Kurt picked it back up and handed it to him. "It's actually really interesting. I'm going to move on to my Environmental Science reading. I know you already have a bunch of books to read, but you're welcome to use or read anything I have. I just ask that you put it back wherever you found it when you're done so that when I need it, I don't have to search for it. I know that keeping everything so rigidly organized bothers some people–"

Sebastian interrupted. "It doesn't bother me. It's really a lot easier to know exactly where to find something when you need it. I've never been a collector of anything other than the books and they're easy to keep organized. But your hobbies, and now class work, require you to have a bunch of stuff on hand – small scissors and needles and things I don't know the names of."

"Mmm hmm." Kurt got his book propped up so he could read easily, and then reached out and turned Sebastian's hand over and began to trace patterns on the palm of his hand while he read. "Oh, before I forget, I'll meet you at the fabric store when I get off tomorrow and we can get the right kind of foam to make your chair cushion."

"Okay. That feels really good, by the way."

"Good." He went back to his reading.

Sebastian had made good progress through Kurt's book and was deeply engaged when Kurt shut his textbook, making him jump.

"I'm sorry, Bas." He pulled his hand up and kissed his palm and closed fingers over the kiss. He turned and moved, straddling Sebastian's lap. He ran his hands along Sebastian's shoulders and down his arms. He leaned forward and kissed him, starting gently, but building in intensity. He ran his fingers trough the back of Sebastian's hair and when he moaned, Kurt took the opportunity to gently lick Sebastian's upper lip and press in.

Sebastian wrapped his hands around Kurt's back and pulled him closer. After a couple of minutes, he pulled back a bit to catch his breath and kissed down Kurt's neck. "You know I'm going to like studying even more if you're going to make out with me every evening when we finish."

Kurt smiled and tipped his head to give Sebastian more access to his neck. "Snuggle studying and making out afterwards sounds like a good plan to me. No hickies though, least not ones that show. I have to look professional at Vogue."

"Got it." He ran his finger gently across Kurt's neck. "I'd say below right here should be safe." He kissed and licked at Kurt's neck.

"Are you really going to give me one? I've never had one before."

"Mmm. Well, I'm going to change that." He moved Kurt's t-shirt to the side just a bit and kissed him, marking his chosen spot.

Kurt began to breathe more heavily as Sebastian set to work. When he finished, he ran his tongue over the area. Kurt pushed him back into the couch cushions and kissed him passionately. "I had no idea. That's a huge turn on. Can I give you one?"

"By all means." Sebastian smiled and kissed him once more before he leaned to the side just a bit to give Kurt more room.

* * *

An hour later, Kurt was lying in bed in the dark when Sebastian came out of the bathroom from showering. He stopped outside Kurt's door.

"Good night," he said.

"Bas?"

"Yeah, Babe?"

"Do you not want to sleep in here with me?" He tried not to sound sad or upset.

"Of course I do, but you had you're light off already. I didn't want to assume. Let me go put my glasses and clothes away. I'll be right back." When he came back, Kurt had the light on. He walked around and got in bed.

Kurt turned it off again and rolled to the center to kiss him. "Good night." He turned back over and scooted into Sebastian's chest.

"With you snuggled up in my arms, definitely." He kissed along Kurt's shoulder and wrapped his arms around him. He sighed happily. It didn't take long for him to hear Kurt's rhythmic breathing. He didn't last long after that, falling asleep with a smile on his face.


	25. Chapter 25

Kurt woke up the next morning practically lying on Sebastian. When he tried to move away gently, Sebastian held on tighter.

"Stay."

"I have to go to my voice class."

"Two minutes. Let me hold you while I'm awake." He ran his hand along Kurt's arm down to his fingers and took his hand. "I think we might need to rethink when you set your alarm for. I like morning snuggles a lot."

"You liked the afternoon, the evening, and the nighttime snuggles too."

"Fair point. I may have a latent adult-onset snuggle addiction."

"You're a dork."

He smiled broadly. "I'm your dork."

"That too." _God, he's adorable._ "I still have to go to class."

"I won't contribute to truancy." He kissed him on the top of the head and let him get up.

Kurt dressed quickly and met Sebastian coming out of the bathroom as he needed to go in. While he was in the bathroom, Sebastian made his breakfast again and had it ready on the counter in the kitchen.

"Why Mr. Smythe, you are so domestic and absolutely adorable." He wrapped his arms around Sebastian and turned him just enough to gently pushed him into the kitchen wall. He moved his t-shirt down just enough to see the hickey. He ran his index finger down Sebastian neck smoothly, just barely grazing his skin before he leaned in and kissed him in the exact same place, moving from there up Sebastian's neck to his ear. "I'll see you later."

Sebastian was breathing so hard, it bordered on panting. "At least kiss me before you leave."

Kurt raised his eyebrow.

"Please?"

Kurt pressed his lips to Sebastian's and kissed him, intense and hot, slowly pulling back to gentle and sweet. He pecked him on the lips and put his lunch and water bottle in his bag, and coffee travel mug and his slice of bread in his hand, opened the door. He looked back at Sebastian and winked. "Thank you." And let himself out.

Sebastian slid down the wall and let out the breath he had been holding. "My God, what a tease. He's going to be death of me." He continued to talk to himself. "Get a grip, Smythe." He pulled himself together and ate his breakfast and drank the coffee he'd made for himself. "How am I going to survive 'slow' if he teases me like that?" He shook his head and laughed.

He sat down and enjoyed his breakfast and looked around the living room from his chair at the table. Kurt could be seen everywhere. His eyes were drawn to the open spaces on the wood unit. Photos. He decided to go out and print a few of his own and get Kurt to help him with framing them since he had no idea where to get cool frames like the ones Kurt had his photos in. He pulled his phone out and did a search in the area where he was supposed to meet Kurt to find at least one unusual shop to take Kurt to after the fabric store.

Once he had saved the location, he washed his cup and put it in the drain to dry. He spent the rest of the morning working long, complicated Calculus problems to keep his mind occupied.

He warmed up leftovers for lunch and finally got dressed after he finished eating. He measured his chair carefully. He left with a book from his room and a bottle of water. He went to the place he had found to print a few pictures. Once he had the photos, he found a place to sit and read until it was time to meet up with Kurt.

He put his book away and watched for Kurt as it got closer to when he was going to arrive. Memories from the Lima Bean popped into his head. He tried to refrain from beating himself over the head about how he had acted when they he had just thought through his behavior…

_No. Stop. Things wouldn't have worked out back then because of Blaine. Blaine, the jackass who hurt Kurt, who made him feel unattractive. What an idiot. And I was just as much of an idiot, adding fuel to the fire of Kurt's insecurities._

His mind wandered again.

_If I had just gone to Dalton instead of Paris to start with, I could have been there when Kurt showed up looking for hope under the guise of spying. I could have found a way to keep him there when his family couldn't afford it._

He stopped himself. He knew that all of those things could have happened, but he also knew that wasn't really ready to be in a relationship when he was 16. He knew better.

_I could have been his friend at least, showed him that people could like him, that he could trust people. That I could have done. Whether I would have, I don't honestly know. I'd like to think I would, but given how I acted, I'm not so sure._

He relaxed and pulled himself back to the present. He saw Kurt coming down the street, looking like he'd walked out of a shoot for a college brochure that had used professional models instead of real students.

_God, he's gorgeous and amazing. I'm the luckiest guy that he's given me a chance. And I'm going to do my damnedest to not blow it._

Sebastian's eyes lit up as Kurt got closer. He extended his arms when Kurt reached him and he wrapped him up and pulled him close. Kurt looked surprised, but relaxed almost immediately.

"Hey, Bas!"

Sebastian pulled back just enough to kiss Kurt. "Hey, babe. Let's go in and get the foam. I've found another place I want us to go check out."

"Really?"

"Really." He tipped Kurt's face towards him just a bit and kissed him again. Kurt was never going to wonder how Sebastian felt. He released his hold on him and took his hand instead.

They walked towards the back of the store where the foam was, but Kurt's eye was drawn to a display of scissors before they made it all the way to the back. He looked through them running his fingers along the shiny steel. He broke himself away from his admiration and moved on. He stopped again and looked at a display of what the sign above the aisle called "Notions". He broke himself free again and pulled the fabric he had bought at the flea market out of his bag and headed over to look through the huge selection of thread. He chose a small spool that blended into the fabric, making it nearly invisible. Once they made it to the back, he looked through the foam and wasn't pleased.

"Let's just get the thread. I have another idea."

"Sure, babe. You're the super smart one that knows about all of this stuff." He turned down the yarn aisle. "I had no idea there were so many choices." He ran his hands along some of the skeins. "I'm not sure why anyone would choose those itchy ones, but this is really nice. I've wanted one of those slouchy beanie hats for quite a while, but I never stepped outside of my prep school look and bought one on my own. I think with the right yarn, I could pull it off, even with my navy pea coat. I have a navy puffer coat too. One hat, dual duty." He looked at a few soft variegated skeins that were predominantly blue.

"I think you'd look good in one." He squeezed Sebastian's hand. "There's actually something else I need. Come this way."

Kurt pulled a bolt of double-sided heat and bond fusible interfacing off the rack. "I'm going to leave you in line to get this and go grab the last thing I need and I'll meet you up front, okay?"

"In line where?"

Kurt pointed. "Just tell them that you need one and a half yards."

"That's it?"

"That's it. I'll meet you up at the cash register."

Sebastian got in line. Kurt headed off to the yarn quickly and chose a skein that had several shades of blue and a little green, with a few flecks of deep purple and smaller flecks of silver. He grabbed the pack of needles he needed and a few skeins of embroidery floss to try out some of the stitches in his new book. He found a pack of plain white cotton dishtowels as well. He moved quickly through the register to pay for the yarn and put it in his bag before Sebastian made it up to the front. He moved back to the area where the line formed and waited. "Thank you." He took the rolled up interfacing from Sebastian.

"You're welcome. Did you find whatever else you needed?"

"Yep." He showed him the embroidery floss and needles. "How do you feel about some embroidered dish towels for our kitchen?"

"Sure." His heart swooned hearing Kurt say "our" like he had asked him to. "You're going to try out new patterns or stitches from your book, aren't you?"

"I am. I want to get better at them before my sewing class next session."

They didn't have to wait in line long. Once they were outside and Kurt had a chance to get his purchases in his bag and get it back on comfortably, Sebastian wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulders and pulled him close. Kurt wrapped his arm around Sebastian's waist.

"So where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"Of course it is, but you could give me a hint."

He pulled him a little closer and kissed him on the temple. "Nope."

Kurt laughed.

"So, what did you and Aunt Izzie do today?"

* * *

Sebastian carried his desk chair into Kurt's room and sat next to him at his desk.

With a sparkle in his eye, Kurt was sorting beads in a bead tray. He looked up at Sebastian when he sat the chair down and froze. "This is silly isn't it? You don't want beads on the frame. It looks fine the way it is." Kurt started to scoop the beads up.

"Hey, no. Stop for a minute. What's going on?"

"You were staring at me with a smirk on your face. Please just tell me if something I'm thinking of doing is too flamboyant or outrageous. I don't mean to be an embarrassment. The frame is for the living room, not my personal space."

"Kurt," Sebastian reached out and put his hand on Kurt's shoulder and sat down, letting his hand slide down until he took Kurt's hand. "I wasn't smirking in a I-think-this-is-silly way. I was just smiling, or smirking I guess, because I've never seen you all excited about doing a project and you're honestly just fucking gorgeous when your eyes light up with an idea. I think the beads are cool looking. I have no idea what you're going to do with them, but I'm curious and I wanted to watch the creative process. That's why I went to get my chair."

"Seriously?"

"Absolutely. I can solve complex math problems, but you create things. You have an idea and you just bring it to life. It's really cool. That's why I said you're Superman. He just does amazing things like they're nothing."

"I can't stop trains or jump over buildings."

"Not the point," he stood up enough to be able to reach Kurt to kiss him and sat back down. "Please go ahead with the idea you had."

Kurt pulled his lower lip in between his teeth and began to thread the beads onto fine gauge stainless wire. He wrapped the beaded sections around parts of the metal worked photo frame. About 30 minutes later, he had finished about half of it. He looked over at Sebastian again.

"It looks really cool. It's okay if I watch, right? I should have asked, but I was just so curious. I'm not making you tense, am I?"

"At first, yes. But every time I've looked up, you look like you're enjoying yourself."

"I am. If I get bored, there are plenty of books to read or movies to watch. This, your creativity, is more interesting."

Kurt blushed, but hoped that Sebastian was watching his hands too much to notice. Kurt started humming "Crazy for You" unconsciously. He stopped himself when he realized.

"Before you ask, I don't know what song that was, so I couldn't join in. But no, you weren't bothering me by humming it." Sebastian winked at him when he looked up.

"This is going to take some getting used to. No one's ever been interested in watching me do anything."

"Performance art. I'm watching you be creative. Now when I look at the photo of us that we're going to put in this frame, I'll think of us being silly and having a good time together when we took the photo, plus I'll remember sitting here with you while you turned the frame into a one-of-a-kind creation."

Kurt stopped and looked Sebastian directly in the eyes to see if he saw any sign of deceit or teasing and saw none. He finished up the last few sections and sat it upright on his desk.

"It looks great. In a million years, I could not have thought of doing that, but I like it a lot. Open it up. I'll go get the photo." He came back a minute later and put the photo in.

Kurt fastened it back and sat it up again. He smiled when he looked at it. "You look really happy."

"I am really happy. You look happy too."

"I haven't seen a picture of me happy in a long time. I'm not sure I like my dorky smile."

"Your smile is perfect, babe. Whoever told you otherwise was just wrong."

"Did you read a book on how to schmooze your first boyfriend?"

Sebastian's face fell.

"Bas, I'm sorry. I'm feeling, God, I don't even know. People have never said nice things to me like you have been. I don't know how to deal with it other than deflect and feel like it's all a joke. I'm so sorry. I'm trying."

Sebastian stood up and pulled Kurt to standing and held him. "I know. It just hurts when you don't trust that I'm telling you the truth."

Kurt took a deep breath. "I do trust you. I really do. It's just a lot so quickly. It's everything I'd every hoped for, so don't stop, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm still working on fixing my flaws. Obviously, not being able to accept compliments is still on that list."

Sebastian started to kiss along Kurt's neck. "I want this with you more than I can explain. I know we can be great together. I can just feel it. Can't you?"

Kurt knew he could, but it was so fast. How could be falling in love with Sebastian so quickly? He buried his nose into the nape of Sebastian's neck and squeezed him in a hug. "I can. That's why I'm struggling. I want it too, but some part of me is still telling me that I can't have it, that I don't deserve it, that I never will. I know how I feel, but my mind keeps telling me that I'm seeing things that aren't there, like I have before."

"How about you put your supplies away while I go put my photos from graduation in the other frames? I feel a distinct need for a snuggle and more talking."

Kurt nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're fine." He kissed him sweetly and let him go. He picked the frame up and took it to the living room.

* * *

When Kurt came out, he scanned the wood unit until he found their photo and smiled.

Sebastian came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him from behind. "We look good."

"We do." He turned in Sebastian's arms and kissed him like he had that morning.

Sebastian was a bit surprised, but joined in immediately.

Kurt pulled back to catch his breath and kissed down Sebastian's neck. "This is how I feel. Intense and passionate, but the little voice in my mind keeps reminding me of my past and kicks my passion in the balls with all of its insecurity and distrust."

"Well, that sounds painful. I'm going to find that little voice and kick its ass. And use my lacrosse stick to fling it into the Hudson."

Kurt laughed. "Amen! You're so much fun, Bas. I really do want this. Can you deal with my crazy?"

"I think every time I get the slightest glimpse of this little voice, I'm going to pin you to the wall, the couch, the bed, whatever, and kiss you senseless. I think that ought to get rid of it pretty quickly."

Kurt ran his hands through Sebastian's hair and pulled him closer and resumed the passionate kissing. When they had to break for air, he said, "Sounds reasonable to me, unless we're like someplace where we'll get our asses kicked for kissing like this."

"Well, I'm far too fond of your ass to let it get kicked."

"Is that so?"

"It is." He slipped his hands from the center of Kurt's back down to his waist. "May I?"

Kurt nodded. "Yeah," he answered breathlessly.

Sebastian looked him in the eyes and he let his hands slide lower. "Just as I had suspected." He squeezed lightly. "Just the right size for holding you close."

"What if you don't like the rest of me? I'm not sexy."

Sebastian laughed out loud. "What?"

"You heard me."

"I heard someone else's words come out your mouth. Someone stupid. Where is this seemingly sudden onset of trepidation and low self-esteem coming from? You seemed to have worked through a lot of this a couple of months ago."

Kurt took a deep breath and let Sebastian walk him backwards towards the sofa. He sat down when the back of his knees hit the ottoman.

"Scoot back."

They ended up in the corner, sitting the way they had with Kurt sitting perpendicular to Sebastian, yet in his lap. Kurt leaned into Sebastian, who wrapped his arm around him and held him close. Kurt sat up a bit and kissed him.

"So, this not sexy thing. I want to deal with that first off. I know who had to have told you that or made you feel that way and he is stupid. He was stupid enough to cheat on you. That's really, really, really stupid. We've only been together for four days. I am smart enough to know when I've got something amazing. Getting to be in a relationship with you - that's amazing. You're amazing. I spent three months intentionally letting my walls down and letting you get close to me in a way that I've never let anyone get and you liked what you saw enough to ask me out. Why would I ever be so stupid to make you feel anything but as absolutely sexy as you are?"

Kurt's eyes relayed his astonishment at Sebastian's words. His face seemed frozen in place as he sat unmoving.

Sebastian ran his thumb across Kurt's lips before kissing him gently. "One stupid gay teenager shouldn't get a place of authority in your mind. Kick everything he ever said or did to make you feel that way out. I can guarantee that you are every bit as sexy as I think you are. I'll even take you out to prove it. I'll pretend to be your brother or straight best friend. I'll be your wingman for the evening. It will be a test of my self-control not to break anyone's fingers who touch you, but I will do it just to put this ridiculous notion out of your head for good."

Kurt laughed.

"Oh, no, no, no, no. This is not a laughing matter. I am absolutely serious. You are gorgeous. You are sexy. And as of four days ago, you are mine." He pressed in and kissed Kurt passionately until they had to break for air. He talked as he kissed down Kurt's neck. "But if you still need some other people to validate that for you, I will take you out and you can see for yourself."

Kurt turned his neck so Sebastian had better access. Sebastian restrained himself and sat back up, causing Kurt to look at him.

Sebastian smiled and said, "More of that later."

Kurt took a deep breath and nodded.

"So, you had been listening to your counselor and instead of listening to the bully of a Jiminy Cricket that lives in your head, but now–."

Kurt chuckled. "That's a pretty accurate statement, although I had never thought of it that way. There are things I've not told you because until recently I honestly didn't even think of them as something that needed to be thought about."

"I get that. When I went to therapy, I eventually got to a few core issues that I never really knew were there."

"So, keep in mind a lot of this is just convoluted and came about through a lot of years of listening to the deranged Jiminy Cricket that you just mentioned, who, of course, is an amalgamation of all of the negativity in my life. I've heard some doozies and some them were when I was really young and unable to determine that what was being said was untrue."

"Okay."

"I've heard women talk about how my mother was an angel here on earth and how merciful God was to take her young so that she wouldn't have to see what an abomination I had become. Or, conversely, how my deviance caused her to kill herself so as not to have to raise me."

"Oh, God."

"People called my house suggesting that I kill myself to make the world a better place, starting in junior high."

Sebastian gently pulled him closer.

"With Finn and Carole becoming part of our family, my dad's time was taken up in a good way. He didn't have to wonder about me so much. He could be himself again. He didn't have to try to connect with me to have someone in his life. The three of them just fit together. I was jealous and envious at first, but in time I saw how good they were for him."

Sebastian was completely lost as to what any of this had to do with Kurt insecurities, but he kept listening.

"In this weird way, I just feel like my dad has already had to bear the brunt of my existence for all of these years. The football team nailed our lawn furniture to our roof, causing him to have to have our house reroofed, which is really expensive. He never knew why it had happened. He missed out on doing all of the things with a son that he wanted to do because I just wasn't into it, like sporting events. And there's just always been this feeling of being treated like a girl. I was smaller than the other guys my age for a long time. I was 'delicate' when I really wasn't. I just chose to not fight back. I don't believe in violence as a solution, so I live that out in my own life. But my dad isn't a pacifist. When he saw Dave make fun of me at school, it ended with my dad chasing him down and pinning him to a bulletin board with his forearm across Dave's throat cutting off his air. I had to pull my dad off of him."

Sebastian chuckled. "I can see that actually."

"Yeah. Anyway, this whole situation with school is what has brought up a lot of these feelings and seemingly unrelated issues. I think it's just the ugly head of envy coupled with the fact that I know it's my own stubbornness contributes to it. I had this amount of money that I considered be reasonable for him pay, which was no more than it would be for me to me to go to OSU. He and Carole have been willing to pay more all along, but I couldn't accept their help. It's this stupid way to prove to myself."

"Envy?"

"Of Rachel and some of the other people from school. Like Mike got a scholarship to a dance school. Mercedes got offered a job as a back-up singer for a record label out in LA. She's getting to work on her own CD. Rachel got into NYADA after choking her audition. Even Sam got a scholarship to come here to go to school. Quinn got a scholarship to Yale."

"Okay. I can see that now. I didn't know most of that."

"I want to study something impractical and risky, so I feel like it should be me paying for it, not my dad. He should save his money for medical expenses. He's going to need checkups and who knows what else. I can't ask him to take out those parent loans for college funding. I can't ask him to put himself in debt because I want to study at a premier school. Even if he can afford to pay it without loans, he should put that money into savings for his retirement or potential future medical bills. But at the same time I still want that – the premier school. I told you already. It's like this proof that I'm good enough. I'm still coming to terms with my choice to leave NYADA. That's what's bearing down on me now and pushing my previous progress out and letting the insecurities back."

"So, when we were talking Sunday, your questions about whether or not I would still want to be with you if you don't attend a prestigious school, this stuff was all floating around in your mind."

"Yes, and more. I have a seemingly unending amount of space in my brain for self-doubt, recrimination, and insecurity. The space left for believing that I'll ever be enough is pretty small. The counseling helps, but then I slip back. And it's so fast that sometimes I don't even register that it's happened until I see the look on your face and I realize what I've said. And then I feel terrible and the recrimination starts over again telling me that I'm never going to get it right. That you'll leave me and I'm–"

Sebastian interrupted him with a kiss. "Amazing. Really. I'm not leaving." He kissed Kurt on the forehead and then looked him in the eyes. "Your dad loves you. He does. I could see it on his face that day at the coffee shop." He tipped Kurt's chin up when he tried to look away. "You're enough. You don't have to prove anything to him or me. Prestige isn't what your dad wants for you. He wants you to be happy. He wants to pay for you to go to school. Let him. You've changed to a school he can afford. Let him be happy. Let yourself be happy."


	26. Chapter 26

"I want to, you know? I really do. I want to wake up in this apartment, our apartment, in your arms or holding you and just let all of that stuff from the past slip away. In here with you is like this cocoon where nothing else matters."

"That's how it's supposed to be. Home is where you're supposed to feel," he almost said loved, but caught himself. "like you can be yourself. It's where the outside world can be ignored for a while. It's where you can rest and recharge."

"So, if you came home and I was dancing around in here wearing what is essentially a long full skirt with a scarf in my hands, you wouldn't make fun of me?"

"I'd watch you. That much is for certain." He bit his lower lip and let it slide free. "Is that all you're wearing?"

"Bas…"

"What? You asked me my reaction. If you are in here, dancing around shirtless in a full skirt that you can pull out to the sides like I've seen in dances from other countries, I'm going to watch you and enjoy myself. You'd look really sexy, I'm sure. I'd get to see every muscle moving as you lifted the skirt to move it in rhythm with the music." He closed his eyes for a minute imagining it. "Super hot."

"Are you just going to say that about everything?"

"If it's a question about me watching you dance, yeah. And just about everything you might do that I get to watch you do."

Kurt shook his head, but looked into Sebastian's eyes again for a tell of deceit and saw none. He sighed heavily. "You really think I'm sexy and you're not just saying it to make me feel better somehow."

"Sit up and straddle my lap again so I can see you better." He waited. He let his hands slip lower than they had the last time Kurt had sat on his lap and pulled Kurt a little closer. He looked him in the eyes. "I think you're super hot and really sexy." He let go of Kurt's backside and took Kurt's hands and put them on his own chest, over his heart. "Repeat after me."

Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious."

Kurt reluctantly nodded once.

"My boyfriend thinks I'm sexy."

"No way."

"Do it."

Sebastian's smile and warm eyes got to him. "MyboyfriendthinnksI'msexy."

"A little slower and perhaps maybe sound like you believe it just a little tiny bit," Sebastian teased.

Kurt took a deep breath. "My boyfriend thinks I'm sexy."

"That's better." He leaned up enough to kiss Kurt quickly. "You'll get the hang of it soon enough." He winked at Kurt. "No boyfriend of mine is going to walk around thinking anything negative about how attractive I find him." He let go of Kurt's hands and ran them down Kurt's sides and began to tickle him. He caught Kurt off guard so he used his advantaged to quickly flip them around so that Kurt was on his back. He straddled him on hands and knees and began kissing him, while still tickling him.

To stop the onslaught of tickles, Kurt pushed Sebastian's knees back and made him collapse on top of him. He wrapped his arms around him to hold him close enough that he couldn't push back up on his knees.

Sebastian didn't struggle to get up again after the first try. Instead, he slipped his forearms under Kurt's shoulders to prop his upper body up and began kissing Kurt's neck.

"Remember at the bottom of the stairwell that day when you first approached me with the card?"

He continued the kiss assault on Kurt's neck while answering. "Of course."

"I think you're right."

"Not unusual," he said as he kept kissing Kurt's neck. "About what specifically?"

"You told me that New York looked good on me, but that you'd look even better on me."

"Mmm hmm."

"You're right. You do look good on me."

"Is this one of your ways of deflecting my determination to make you feel as sexy as you are?"

"Nope. Not at all. I'm enjoying every second of you proving your point."

He went back to kissing Kurt – this time on the lips. When they paused to breathe, he said, "Good. That's the whole point." He kissed him softly. "I'm enjoying myself too, but I don't want to keep you from doing your work if you have homework."

"I have some, but I can do it while you're in the shower I think."

"So more kissing? Or should we sit back up so we can snuggle?"

"Snuggle kissing?"

"Of course."

* * *

Sebastian climbed into bed with Kurt and Kurt rolled over and snuggled into his side. Sebastian pulled the lightweight sheet up over Kurt's shoulders and kissed him on top of the head.

"Are you ever going to sleep in your room?"

"Not unless you kick me out of your bed."

Kurt chuckled.

"The other room can be our guest room that I study in."

"You picked out all that furniture that you liked," he teased.

"Yeah, but I like your bed better."

"Really," he chuckled again. "I'm pretty sure your bed is much more comfortable than mine."

"Mmm. I'm not sure. I've only ever slept in it alone. We'd have to try it with you in it. If it's actually more comfortable, we can switch the mattresses. I like sleeping in here. Your room has character and it's filled with you. I can see you everywhere I look."

"You're sappy tonight."

"Well, I got to spend quite a while making out with this really hot guy that I've had my eye on forever."

Kurt tipped his head up and reached out to guide Sebastian's face towards him and kissed him. "Coincidentally, I got to make out with this really good-looking guy too. I didn't think he was worth my while when we first met, but I was really, really wrong."

"Is that so?"

"It is. I think we've got the timing right this time." _Four days and I'm a goner. Is there some entry in the world records book for people who fall in love quickly?_

"I lost you there for a minute. What are you thinking about?"

"You."

"Mmm. A complicated topic."

Kurt burst out laughing. "That's true. But it seems to be one of my most frequently thought about topics lately."

"Well, that's good news for me. My boyfriend likes to think about me."

"Mmm hmm. I set my alarm five minutes early, just for you."

"Thank you. Do you have swim trunks?"

"No. Why? Are you thinking about me wearing swim trunks?"

"Maybe." He kissed him on top of the head. "Okay, yes. You and me in the pool and on the beach. I'm excited you want to go with me."

"You can keep thinking about that. I've got to sleep. I have to stay awake in class tomorrow morning."

"Mmm. Okay. I'll be quiet."

* * *

"Speedos?" Kurt's "bitch please" look was firmly in place.

Sebastian's doe-eyed look of feigned innocence was equally firmly in place – until he cracked and waggled his eyebrows.

"No way."

"They're for the hot tub."

He lowered his voice to barely above a whisper. "Those won't hide _anything_."

"That's the point, babe."

"You're not getting my meaning, Bas." He stepped closer. "Those will not –" He stepped even closer. "cover me when–" His face turned red.

"Oh. _Oh!_ " He leaned into Kurt's ear. "So, skinny dipping in the hot tub, then?"

"Sebastian Beaumont Smythe!" Kurt whisper yelled.

"Yes, babe?" He asked innocently as he put the Speedos back on the rack.

"You are exhausting."

"I _can_ be, but I haven't gotten to show you just yet."

Kurt rolled his eyes and walked away to look at the swim trunks on the rack that was the farthest from where Sebastian was still standing.

Sebastian followed him and wrapped his arms around him from behind and propped his chin on Kurt's shoulder. "Are you okay? I was just trying to make you laugh. You were so serious when we walked over to this section."

"I haven't been swimming in so long that I don't have swim trunks that fit. That should give you some idea how long it's been."

"Is this another one of those hideous Lima stories where the urchin inhabitants did something awful to you?"

"It is."

"Well, fuck them."

"No thanks." He turned his head and spoke directly into Sebastian's ear. "Now, you on the other hand, we'll get around to that eventually."

Sebastian's eyes grew big and he inhaled quickly. "You can't just say that."

"I can and just did." He kissed him on the cheek before he turned back to look at the rack. "What's in style in Florida? Those longer-than-knee-length ones over there?" He pointed. "Or shorter thigh-length ones like those?" He pointed to a different rack. "Or something like these that are in between?"

"Um, I wasn't really paying any attention. Mine are shorter like those because I've had them for a long time, so I'm taller than I was when I got them." He reached around Kurt and grabbed two pairs. "I like these green and dark brown patterned ones. How about you get these coordinating ones in deep blue-black and turquoise. They'll match your gorgeous eyes."

"Let me look at them." He took the blue pair and looked inside. "Sure. These have the soft, non-mesh liner."

"Sold." Sebastian took them and went to get in line.

Kurt caught up. "You're not paying for mine."

He put them behind his back. "You're paying $10 for yours."

"They're on sale two for $40. For someone so good at math, you'd think that you'd know that $10 is not half of $40. Do you use a calculator to do the calculations all the time?"

He pecked Kurt on the lips. "I do not. And I am perfectly aware that $10 is not half of $40. But if I bought this pair and you bought a different pair, I'd have to pay $30 for mine alone. So, yours are only $10."

"Well, the same can be said about me buying this pair and you buying a different type."

While Kurt was arguing with him, he had slipped his card on the counter with the swim trunks.

Before he could answer Kurt, the cashier said, "Thank you, Mr. Smythe. Enjoy your day."

He turned and took his card and the bag and walked to the end of the register. Kurt looked down and saw that his trunks were not laying there. He looked up and his eyes flashed. Sebastian took off jogging towards the door and when Kurt came out the door, he dodged in and out of the pedestrians until he got to the corner and he took a right and was out of Kurt's line of sight. Kurt made it around the corner to find Sebastian sitting on a bench looking completely relaxed. He sat down next to him.

"That was not what we agreed to."

"We didn't actually agree to anything. You know as well as I do that we had to pay for both pairs together to get the sale price." He leaned towards Kurt and kissed him. "Don't be mad. You're not a kept man. I'm not your sugar daddy. How about this? You can either give me the cash or you can take me out to dinner."

"Dinner it is." He stood up and reached out for Sebastian's hand and pulled him to standing and then kissed him. "Why did you rile me up in there about me not paying half?"

"Truth time?"

"Yes."

"You're so hot when you are determined."

"You are so full of it. You hassled me because you think I look hot when I'm annoyed?"

"Maybe? Not exactly. I like it when all of your attention is focused on me."

"Very _not_ cool. I will pay attention to you as much as I possibly can without sabotaging the rest of my life, but you can't annoy me on purpose. That undermines my trust in our bond. When you hold your ground in an argument, I need to know it's because you really believe in whatever you're arguing for. I don't want us to argue, but I'm sure we will at some point, but I don't want to waste time arguing with you over something that isn't near and dear to you in some way. I'd rather spend that time making out with you or something more enjoyable."

"So, if I just say 'Kurt will you make out with me?' – you will?"

"Probably. We're nearly the same age, Bas. I have just as many urges as you do."

"I can still tease you right?"

"Of course. Just don't act like something actually matters to you if it doesn't, unless it's obvious that you're teasing. We can play fight and argue all you want to. Just so long as I know we're playing."

"I get it now. I was egging you on about paying more than half, but I really didn't intend to pay for both pairs and not let you pay me back. I'm sorry I made you feel like I wasn't going to let you pay your fair share."

"Forgiven. What are you in the mood for?"

"You." He kissed Kurt.

"Bas."

"You walked right into that one." He winked at Kurt.

"How about Korean? Mexican? Japanese?"

"Ooh, yeah. Japanese sounds good. You know a good place for Japanese food nearby?"

"I actually do." He held tight to Sebastian's hand and led them through the crowd. "Isabelle told me about it, but I haven't been yet."

* * *

Sunday morning, Sebastian woke up first. This time he was the one sprawled out on Kurt. He moved as stealthily as he could to get up to use the bathroom. When he came back, Kurt stared up at him and smiled.

"I missed you. Come back to bed."

"Are we skipping the flea market?"

"Definitely not, but I didn't give you your morning snuggle yet."

Sebastian smiled and climbed over Kurt instead of going around the bed. Halfway over him, he plopped down instead. He kissed Kurt on the forehead and scooted the rest of the way over.

"Well, now, I'm going to have to go to the bathroom before we snuggle."

Sebastian laughed. "Sorry. I didn't think about the state of your bladder. I'll be right here."

Kurt returned quickly and this time he pinned Sebastian to the bed. "Good morning, Bas." He pecked him on the lips.

Sebastian wrapped his arms around him and pulled him down and kissed him again. Kurt scooted off to the side a bit and wrapped himself around Sebastian.

"I'm starting our 10-day countdown tomorrow. I'm really excited to go back – together this time. I enjoyed going with my parents, well, mostly my mom since my dad only stayed four days. It was half vacation, half work for my mom since she was making sure the place was ready to rent out. She had a lot of stuff to do, but I made it a point to spend time with her. I told her a lot of things that I hadn't before. It was good for us. I'm trying not to be so closed off all around."

"I know I have a long way to go with my dad. Maybe if nothing catastrophic happens, I'll talk to him, maybe at Christmas. Maybe. I have the added weight of a lot of things besides just me keeping stuff to myself."

"I get that. Our situations are very different. I wasn't trying to make any type of comparison between them. I just wanted you to know that I'm not hiding how I feel about you. We're not going to Florida as best friends or roommates or something platonic. I told my mom how I felt about you. I told her she could tell Dad. I'm sure after I told her that you asked me to be your boyfriend that she told Aunt Victoria. Obviously, she hadn't told Aunt Izzie your name, but she didn't seem surprised that we were dating, so I'm guessing that she knew I was dating someone."

"I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"I haven't told anyone. I'm not ashamed. I promise."

"I know you're not. You've been walking around holding my hand and kissing me in public for a week now." He kissed Kurt. "It's okay. I'm not upset. I know you're struggling with your family. I know from what you've said this will be another thing 'Finn won't get to do.' He won't get to go on a vacation to Florida with his girlfriend. It's a hard place to be. Everything that's new and exciting for you will be one more thing that he never will get to do. Have you considered seeing if your parents would do some type of family grief counseling with you? Maybe there's someone in DC that does it. I think it might be worth it for you to drive there once a month."

"I know we need to do something. Carole put on a brave face and did a good job of impersonating herself for the day and a half they came for my birthday a few weeks ago, but she lost Christopher and now Finn. I'll tell them about us. I told him I would do a better job and keeping it from him is not doing a better job. I'll text him, as lame as that sounds. But it leaves whether or not he wants to talk about it for him to decide."

"That actually seems like a sort of middle ground option."

"If we stay in bed any longer, I'm going to want to start making out with you. How about you go start breakfast and I'll text my dad."

"A kiss first?"

"Of course."

After a few more kisses than just one, Sebastian got up and headed to the kitchen and started scrambling eggs.

Kurt pulled up the photo that they had printed out and displayed in the living room and texted it to his dad and to Carole along with a text.

-We're dating as of a week ago.

He got a reply back from Carole first.

-Congratulations, honey. I hope the two of you are happy together.

He knew he wouldn't get any other response. That was the hardest thing after losing Finn himself was losing her. He had let her in and had confided in her when he couldn't talk to his dad. He had lost a mom a second time. He didn't fault her for it, but it still hurt. Maybe Sebastian was right about some family counseling.

He got up and got dressed casually before going out to the kitchen. "It smells good in here," he said before he made it around the wall into the kitchen. "Oh, you're actually cooking breakfast. Thank you." He opened the fridge and pulled out some juice, grabbed two glasses, filled them, and put them on the table. Sebastian plated the eggs and sat down at the table with them waiting for Kurt to sit back down after putting the juice away.

"I like that shirt," Sebastian said.

"Really?"

"Yeah. It, I don't know, it just looks good on you. Not that your other clothes don't."

Kurt started to chuckle. "It's fine. I get it. You don't hate my clothes anymore."

"I didn't hate them before. I told you that."

"Right."

"I do happen to be most fond of the short-sleeved ones though." He added a wink. "And I'm fond of summer in general now."

"For what reason?"

"You wear shorts in the summer. You have nice legs."

Kurt blushed. "Thanks." It didn't take him long to finish the plate of eggs. "I'll clean up while you get dressed." He waited for Sebastian to take his last bite before he grabbed his plate and stacked everything on the plates.

"I'll be right back."

He was back by the time Kurt put the skillet away. Kurt turned to look at him. He had a button up shirt on, but it was unbuttoned and Kurt's eyes widened before he got himself under control.

"Like what you see?" Sebastian teased.

"You know I do. Very nice abs. And the freckles are cute."

"Why are you still over there by the sink?"

"All the better to gawk at you?"

"Gawking, huh?"

"You are making it seriously hard to not walk over there and be more hands on."

"Oh, really? What could I do to make it impossible to stop yourself?" He flexed making his abdominal muscles more prominent.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Stop already. You already know that I find you very attractive. Are you trying to attract me over there? If so, we need to discuss our previously agreed upon leaving-our-clothes-on stance."

"We're going to need to discuss that anyway. I don't plan on swimming in a shirt. Do you?"

"I always have."

"Oh."

"And you obviously haven't."

"Right." He buttoned his shirt and stepped close enough to Kurt to take his hand and lead him over to the sofa. They sat down and put their feet up on the ottoman. "Is there a reason behind your leaving-our-clothes-on stance that includes why we can't go shirtless as guys?"

"I've never gone shirtless. This newfound comfortable-clothes me is as relaxed as it's ever gotten. Before moving to New York, I hardly ever even wore short-sleeved shirts. I wore shorts, but not these casual ones you've seen me in. I wore tailored ones and I wore knee-high boots with them. I had also worn the boots with kilts and skirts."

"Okay. So it's not just that you're not comfortable enough around me to go shirtless, you've just never been comfortable enough to do it period?"

Kurt nodded. "I've got 10 days to work it out in my mind. Will you be angry with me if I wear a shirt?"

"No, of course not. The question is whether you will be upset if I don't."

"I don't know."

"Is this another one of the Lima Losers things?"

"I'll answer, but I don't want to take all morning because I've been looking forward to going to the flea market with you."

"Got it."

"Being where there were guys with their shirts off was dangerous for me because even if I wasn't looking at the guys lustfully, I was accused of it, so I just quit being in that position if at all possible."

"You avoided pools and parks where guys might be playing sports with their shirts off."

"Yep. And I averted my eyes in any situation that I couldn't get out of, like gym class."

"Well, this situation is completely the opposite because I'm totally fine with you seeing me without my shirt and I absolutely want to see you with yours off. I understand if you're not ready, and I'm not going to push you. You don't have to touch me or let me touch you, but I'd like you to be comfortable if we aren't wearing shirts. We've got 10 days to work on it, like you said." He squeezed Kurt's hand and let go. "Let's go see what weird and unusual things we can find or just look at." He stood up. "Ready?"

"Yeah."


	27. Chapter 27

"This is too much fun to pass up." Kurt picked up what looked to be about a dozen and half 1" x 2"s glued together at different points along their sides. "Hold that end."

Sebastian took it.

"I had thought of putting some coat hooks up on the wall. And this goes with the mid-century look."

"Look, the dowel going through all of the pieces serves as rotation point." About a third of the pieces could be pulled forward to make an angled piece to hang a coat from. "It's really similar in color to all of our wood furniture. If you don't like this one, maybe we can find one that's mostly steel or aluminum to go with the kitchen more since the wall is sort of in the kitchen."

"You know? I do like this one, but not for the wall you're thinking of. I think maybe between the bedroom doors. The wood would look good there. And when people hang their coats on it, the coats wouldn't interfere with the apartment door opening."

"Ooh. Good idea. So, yes?" Kurt asked.

"Yes. We still need to find a little mood lamp or go to Target or Ikea to buy one. I want something soft and relaxing for the living room."

"'Mood lamp' makes me think of a lava lamp."

"That would actually be fun and go with the mid-century vibe. Let's pay for this and keep looking." He kept hold of it and retook Kurt's hand. He was finding that he liked holding Kurt's hand when they were out as much as he liked snuggling with him when they were at home. He smiled when he looked down at their intertwined fingers.

Kurt noticed. "What's got you all smiley?"

"You."

Kurt blushed slightly and smiled back. _Those eyes. That smile. God, I'm in over my head already._

"I've decided that I definitely like going to flea markets with you."

"Good. Isabelle will be here in about an hour with a car to take us around to some estate sales like we did a few weeks ago."

"Jillian will be so jealous. I will definitely rub it in when we see her in a couple of weeks."

"Do you two fight?" Kurt looked confused.

"Oh, yeah. But she started it."

Kurt laughed. "Famous last words of a 6-year-old."

"She started it long before we were six. I'll try to be nice. I did eventually forgive her for not letting my Ken doll into her Barbie bakery barefoot, all the while she was hiding his shoes under her skirt."

Kurt laughed so hard, he nearly chocked. "Oh, God. That's hysterical. What did she say? 'No shoes, no shirt, no service.'"

"Exactly. First, it was that I couldn't play unless I got a boy doll because I was a boy. So, I got my mom to get me a Ken doll so I could play. She had all of this amazing stuff. A bakery, a camper, a pool, all sorts of stuff."

"Surely, she didn't say your Ken couldn't get in the pool barefoot."

"There were scuba flippers."

"Of course." Kurt was still laughing.

"You can ask Aunt Izzie when she gets here later."

"Oh, I will. I will." He stepped closer and kissed him.

Sebastian's heart melted whenever Kurt stepped outside his comfort zone and engaged in PDA with him. Each time Kurt showed his feelings in public, he imagined another piece of the armor Kurt had built up around him in Lima chipping and falling off. _That smile. That smile needs to be on his face all the time._

Someone came down the aisle carrying a chair, causing Kurt to drop Sebastian's hand and step to the side. He kept walking and stepped into another booth. He found a glass sphere about the size of a regular balloon. Inside was a pale pink jellyfish, which was quite realistic looking.

When Sebastian caught up, he called Kurt's name as he came up behind him.

Kurt turned quickly and hid the lamp from Sebastian's view.

"Whatcha' hiding behind your back?"

"Um, a cute lamp?"

"Cute? Let me see." He kissed Kurt and rose up on his tiptoes to look over Kurt's shoulder. "That is cute. It's lamp?"

"It has cord coming out the back, so I assume so. It's only $5. I'm going to get it on whim, just to see if it works. If not, I'll see what I can do to rewire it. Unless you hate it."

"How could I hate something so cute? Have you seen live ones? They're mesmerizing to watch."

"I've never see a live one, but I'd like to some day."

 _Done._ "Get the lamp. I'll get newspaper out of my backpack so we can wrap it up."

* * *

"So, what did you scavenge today?" Isabelle asked as they climbed into the back of the town car with her.

"This wall-mounted coat rack," Sebastian said. "And a lamp."

"It must be a small lamp if it's in one of your backpacks."

"It is," Kurt said. "If it works, I'll take a picture and show you this week when I come to work."

"So, I've found two sales that look good."

"Sounds promising. The last one turned out well."

"It did. I love that chaise. It's so comfortable. And the Bakelite necklace was perfect with that black dress I wore on Wednesday."

"It really was."

"So, tell me about Jillian and how she tortured Sebastian. At least, that's how he tells it," Kurt teased.

"Oh, my. That girl. I love her dearly, but she did torment poor Sebastian. She's a year younger and far more–"

"Devious," Sebastian supplied.

"That's definitely a good word for it. She's a good kid and she's sweet, but she used to just pester poor Sebastian. She'd always act angelic whenever Victoria could see her, but I caught her a few times. Just doing little things. Taking cookies and then saying that it was Sebastian who had done it. She's grown up a lot. She actually really missed him when he was in France. She's been a lot nicer to him since he's been back."

"That's true," Sebastian admitted. "I honestly think she was really quite a tomboy, but she wanted to be a princess for whatever reason. Alexis is just enough younger than her that she wasn't really much of a playmate for a long time. And Alexis is very much the princess type. I think Jillian just wanted the rough and tumble, but she just couldn't bring herself to say, 'Sebastian chase me until we fall over because we can't breathe.' Instead, she'd grab something of mine and run off with it. I really liked to read and she'd grab my book and run. Sometimes, when I'd get almost close enough to grab it, she'd throw it."

"That would really get on my nerves," Kurt said.

"It did. But it worked to her advantage a lot. One of the adults would say, 'Sebastian, just play with her and she'll stop annoying you.' Well, yes and no. She was still getting her way, and I was told to put my book away."

Isabelle said, "You're right. We should have redirected her ourselves. We didn't take into consideration that you were enjoying yourself. Since you were an only child, we all just pushed you to play with her."

"I lived. It was just annoying. Aunt Victoria should have just bought her that trampoline she wanted."

Isabelle laughed. "I've decided to take your mom up on her offer. I'm going to head down to Florida when everyone else does. I know I always overwork myself, but I've decided not to this year. A few days at the beach sound nice."

"It does," Kurt agreed. "I've never been to Florida or anyplace tropical."

"Before we get to where we're going. I want to talk to you about something, Kurt."

"Okay. You sound so serious. Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all. I just know this must be a bit weird for you, but I think we need to talk about you dating my nephew. If he had been dating someone else, I would have had the guy call me Izzie, or Aunt Izzie, like Sebastian does. I would have treated whomever he dated to meals out and to tickets to events with or without me. I still want to do those things. I don't plan on having kids and I love my role as aunt to all five of my nieces and nephews. I will do the same thing with whomever the other four date at some point in time, as distance and availability allows. If any of the other four end up moving here, I will spend time with them as well. I had been looking forward to Sebastian moving here. I don't want to give that up. But I need you to be okay with this. We need to be able to work together like we have for the past eight months. You're the best PA I've had in a long time."

Kurt nodded. "I can do that. When we're at work, there won't be any of this 'spoiling' that you're referring to. I'm your PA and I'll do the job I'm paid to do. And on the weekends or evenings, you can be Aunt Izzie. I'll still call you Isabelle though, unless that bothers you."

"It's fine." She smiled and reached out and put her hand on his arm. "So, that being settled, we're going out to lunch after we go to these to sales. I found out about a new Hawaiian place. I have no idea what they serve, but we're going to try it out. And then you two are going to go with me to the place you bought your swim trunks and help me find some. I want to be comfortable sitting around in Florida. This isn't a photo shoot and I'm not 20. It's a vacation and I want to be comfortable, so I want swim trunks and some type of top that's like a long sports bra or fitted tank designed for swimming. I don't want anything designer. I just want practical."

The car slowed down to a stop.

"We're here," she said.

* * *

That evening, Sebastian had finished dinner and went to check on Kurt to see whether he was ready to eat. When he got to the bedroom the door was closed. He knocked gently. "Kurt?"

"Go ahead and come in."

Sebastian opened the door slowly and saw Kurt standing in front of his full-length mirror, shirtless. He averted his eyes. "I came to tell you that dinner's ready whenever you are."

"You don't have to look away. I appreciate you not making assumptions, though. I finished up the reading I was working on. My mind just to what we were talking about, so I took off my shirt and looked in the mirror, trying to see myself more accurately. You know – the me who's 20 and so much more confident than the 14-year-old scared version of myself. The me who is a man, not the girl I was called."

"Girls can't go around with their shirts off."

Kurt nodded. "I was lumped in with them so much, I think that might be a part of it actually. You grew up hanging around guys who just whipped their shirts off when they got hot. It doesn't matter how hot a girl gets, she won't do that unless her life is somehow in danger. They don't even do it amongst themselves. It's not that they didn't change around me or whatever, but they _changed_ from one shirt to a different shirt. Some of them even slept in bras. I can't imagine how that could be even remotely comfortable."

"Me either, but I get what you're saying. I saw guys out walking on beach shirtless who actually were bigger busted than quite a few of the girls on the beach wearing 1-piece suits. But men's chests are okay to be seen in public."

"Fashion is so weird though. Those same women can wear dresses that are barely thigh length with plunging backs or necklines and the men attending the same event will be in slacks, a long-sleeved shirt, and a jacket, showing exactly nothing except their hands, face, and the part of their necks that show above their collars."

"Fashion is weird. You and Aunt Izzie are weird," he teased.

"Are you comfortable taking your shirt of too?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm more concerned about it bothering you."

"You said you were okay with it and I trust you. I'm not comfortable like this, but I want to be. And I think the only way that's going to happen is to do it around someone I trust – around you."

Sebastian took a deep breath. "Thank you. For trusting me. Am I allowed to say something shallow?"

Kurt laughed. "Sure."

"You are gorgeous. You could be in a swim trunk ad for _Vogue_ or wherever."

Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Stop. You just told me you trust me. When you roll your eyes at what I say when I'm being sincere, it's like what you told me about arguing with you over nothing. It's breaks the bond of trust we're creating. When you roll your eyes when I tell you how I see you or how I feel about you, I feel like you're calling me a liar."

"I'm sorry, Bas."

"Can I step closer?"

Kurt nodded.

"Turn back around and look in the mirror." He waited. "I see amazingly muscled arms from changing tires and you working out. No, they're not big and bulky like a football player or a body builder, but you don't want that. You said so yourself. You could achieve more of that look than you have now if you started doing certain lifting routines. You've made a body-sculpting choice. I can see that your abdominal muscles are strong, but they're not defined like mine because no one ever made you do five million crunches, sit ups, and pulls ups for a sport you played. The same is true of your shoulders. You never did push ups or used a weight bench under the glare of a lacrosse coach, trying to stay in his good graces because of how badly you wanted to be the captain."

Kurt smiled at him in the mirror. "You're right. I learned to do gymnastics while I was on the Cheerios. I'm very flexible, while still being strong enough to do about 50 push ups and about the same number of sit ups. I've not tried the bench press in the stage combat room for the very reason you just said – I don't want broader shoulders. I like what you said about it being a body-sculpting choice. I want to be fit and strong, not bulky." He looked at his reflection again. "What are you thinking?"

"It's complicated. But mostly, honestly, I'm seriously turned on, and," he pulled his lower lip in between his teeth and let it slip out again. "And I really want to touch you, but I would never do that without your permission. And the other thing is how much I really despise the people who made someone as attractive as you feel the way you do about yourself. But yet, their loss is my gain, so I'm happy that you're mine and not someone else's. I kind of appreciate their stupidity."

Kurt laughed. "You're _something_ , Bas."

"But I'm your _something_ , which is the only part that matters."

"You're sweet."

"That's our secret."

"Well, you're going to have to tell your eyes that it's a secret because they're broadcasting it loud and clear." He winked at Sebastian in the mirror before he turned around. "You said dinner was done."

"I did," he answered without moving at all.

"Shall we eat it?"

"Shirtless?"

"Shirtless."

"By all means." He picked up the shirt he had been wearing and put it on the doorknob for the time being. He went back to the kitchen.

Kurt followed him out. "I have a question."

"Shoot."

"The card you gave me at the bottom of the stairwell."

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Where did you get that?"

"I made it."

"It was beautiful. Where did you learn to do calligraphy?"

"I have some hidden talents." He preened and winked at Kurt.

"I would have never guessed that you were a good cook, so there's one."

"The calligraphy is really Jillian's doing."

Kurt laughed. "Explain." He plated their food and put it on the table.

Sebastian poured them drinks. "Well, she goaded me. She was 11. She insisted that no boy could ever do fancy lettering like she could. She was working on the invitations for her 12th birthday party."

"And so you rose to the challenge and learned to do calligraphy."

"I did. And I ended up finding oddly relaxing and beautiful. I can do several different styles. I did the names on my graduation announcements in a fancy script similar to what I used on the one I gave you, but I neatly printed the addresses so they could be ready easily by the post office."

"A man of many talents." He took a few bites before he said anything else. "You spoil me with all of the delicious dinners."

Sebastian smiled and changed the subject. "I know you have more reading. Can you do it with me out on the sofa? I'll read one of my books."

"I'm going to put on one of my singlets. It will leave my arms bare as a compromise. I don't think I can sit out her and study shirtless, not yet."

Sebastian nodded. "I'll put one on too."

"Thanks for being so patient with me."

"It's fine. If someone asked me to sit around without any boxers briefs on out in the open, I would feel super uncomfortable about that. In our room, in our bed some day, in the shower together in the future, sure. But sitting out here on the couch, not so much. I get it. I appreciate you being willing to give it a try. I'd just like you to be able to be shirtless around me without feeling self-conscious."

Kurt nodded. "You did brag about your shower massage skills," he teased.

"I did, but it was just teasing and wishful thinking."

"So, you haven't?"

"Nope." He picked up the plates. "Go get your stuff and I'll clean up."

"You cooked. I should clean."

"I'm selfishly cleaning. Go get your stuff." He turned Kurt around, without touching him anywhere, but the waistband of his shorts and kissed him on the back of the neck. "The sooner you get what you need to study, the sooner we can snuggle."

Kurt shook his head. "Alright, if you insist."

"I do."

"Already?"

"Very funny." _If you asked me, I would say yes. I'm so far gone, it's ridiculous._

* * *

Kurt came out of the bathroom wearing another singlet and his pajama pants. He stayed out until he heard the water running. He did his moisturizing as quickly as possible and scurried out into the living room and cleaned the glass jellyfish lamp and plugged it in to check that it worked. When he turned it on, he was amazed at how cool it looked. He moved it over the wood unit and put it in the end square on the second shelf up from the bottom. He turned it on and turned off the kitchen light.

He docked his iPod and started a modern jazz playlist and leaned against the small wall section next to Sebastian's bedroom door waiting for him to come out.

Sebastian flipped the light off as he stepped out. "Oh, wow." He looked to his left towards the only source of light. "I like it, a lot."

"Me too."

Sebastian walked past Kurt and put his clothes in the hamper in his closet and stopped in front of Kurt on his way back out of the room. Kurt reached out for him and wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck.

"Dance with me?"

Sebastian put his hands on Kurt's shoulders and let his hands slide down Kurt's upper arms, stopping at the elbow, sliding them underneath Kurt's arms and around his lower back. He kissed Kurt gently and they made their way around the sofa to the open space, holding each other close as they slow-danced.

* * *

At the end of the week, Kurt performed his final piece for the summer session.

"Kurt, that was just lovely," Professor Carlton said.

He tipped his head slightly. "Thank you."

"You seem to have come into your own over the summer. You've worked hard and you've shown a lot of improvement in your stage presence as well. I saw you perform at the Winter Showcase. I also saw a bootleg copy of Midnight Madness. That's when I asked Madame Tibideaux to switch you to my section. I know you've been through a lot this semester, but it seems like you're coming out the other side now. I'm glad for you. I've enjoyed teaching you. Hopefully, I'll have that chance again at some point. If not, when you make it big, I'll still always get to say that I was your first vocal instructor." He smiled. "You've earned an A for this course. Enjoy the rest of your summer, Kurt."

"Thank you! You too." Kurt grabbed his bag and headed to Vogue.

* * *

Monday morning, Kurt rolled over to turn his alarm off and rolled right back over into Sebastian's arms. "We're leaving tomorrow. We're doing laundry and packing this evening. I'm excited."

Sebastian pulled him closer and kissed him on the forehead. "Yoga this morning?"

"Yeah." He stretched. "I just have to convince my body to move. I like laying here in your arms far too much." Kurt tipped his head back enough to look into Sebastian's eyes. He gently brushed Sebastian's hair back out of his face. He didn't say anything. He just ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair gently.

Sebastian did his best to maintain the intense eye contact. He still was still getting used to letting someone close to him. The slow and sweet parts of being with Kurt still made him feel all warm on the inside. He smiled thinking about what a marshmallow he was.

"That's a beautiful smile there. What brought that on?"

"You, and me. Like this. I just really like being with you and you're just so sweet to me and I'm not used to it, but I like it so much. Sometimes I feel like I'm a million miles from the person I used to be, but I actually like myself now."

Kurt's smile grew and he ran his thumb across Sebastian's lips. "Sebastian Beaumont Smythe, Snugglemeister Extraordinaire."

"Perfect," he accepted Kurt's teasing compliment. "Our five minutes have been at least ten. I know you don't have your vocal class this morning, but you do have a final at 10 and we planned to do yoga."

"Okay." Kurt stretched again.

"You can't keep doing that. I'll lose all my resolve to get out of this bed."

"Up."

"Mmmrf." Sebastian nuzzled into Kurt's neck.

"I'll demonstrate how I can do a back walkover," Kurt offered coyly.

"You drive such hard bargains." He squeezed Kurt and let loose.

* * *

Kurt left for his class, nearly running late. As soon as he was on his way out of the building Santana stood up from where she had been sitting on the landing one flight up and walked down the flight of stairs. She knocked.

Sebastian looked through the peephole and opened the door to let her in. "Santana, what a surprise."

"Are we friends?" She walked straight over to the sofa and plopped down.

He locked the door back and followed her. "We can be, if that's what you want."

"I have Dani and I really like her, maybe even love her, but I want to break free, but I work with Rachel. God, she's annoying."

Sebastian chuckled.

"She's having this big shindig at her place in Soho for the Fourth of July and she's invited all of the New Directions."

"Well, Kurt is definitely not going to the party."

"Oh, I know. I got a 'Hell to the no!' reply when I asked him about it. Why can't I just back out?"

"You can. Just say 'no' and don't show up. Just because you work with Rachel doesn't mean she's your boss. You both work for the same company. That's it."

"Easy for you to say."

He laughed.

She got up and started looking around the apartment. She looked in both bedrooms. She started to step into their room.

"Nope. Looking, not touching."

She saw a suitcase on the spare bedroom. "Where are you off to?"

"Florida."

"You must be a miracle worker if you got him to take off from work long enough to make flying to Florida worth it."

"We'll be there for ten days."

"Impressive. You must live up to all of your swagger to entice him away for that long."

"Nice try, but no cigar. Information about our private lives is private.

"You're no fun."

He shrugged.

"He said he wasn't going to be in town for Rachel's get-together. Lucky him."

"You make good money, take Dani upstate or down to North Carolina or something."

"I just might."

"You're welcome to stay and talk if you want. I've got to do some laundry though."

"Sure." She plopped back down on the sofa and turned to face the side of the laundry closet.


	28. Chapter 28

Kurt got home at 3:30 to find the apartment empty. He went to grab his laundry basket to get started only to find that it was empty and all of his clothes were folded or hanging neatly in his closet. He smiled and started looking through his clothes to make his selections. He knew there was a washer and dryer, so he didn't need to overpack.

He began laying clothes out on their bed. When he went back into the closet, he realized that the clothes along the back weren't his. He went to look in the closet in the other room and found all of his winter clothes hanging with Sebastian's winter clothes and their winter coats. He went to look in the coat closet and found his jackets and Sebastian's hoodies and jackets hanging in it.

He heard a key in the lock and he closed the closet and moved back quickly so the apartment door wouldn't hit him.

"Kurt!" Sebastian said, obviously startled to find Kurt standing between him and the kitchen.

Kurt stepped forward and kissed him. "I was examining the work of the clothing fairy who has been here today. All of my clothes and your clothes seem to have been mixed together by season and function."

"Oh, really?" He pushed the door closed with his foot and wrapped his arms around Kurt.

"Really. It was definitely a surprise. A good one." He kissed Sebastian again. "I also saw that the laundry fairy as been here today. I'll need to leave a note of appreciation somewhere."

Sebastian pressed in and kissed Kurt. When they broke for air, he said, "I'll relay your message. How did your final go?"

"I think I did well. I didn't feel like I was asked anything that I didn't know the answer to. We'll see soon enough. I had an A going into the final, so, no matter what, I'll end up with at least a B. Let's go get packed then and we'll have plenty of time for snuggling and kissing before we have to leave for the airport."

"We don't unfortunately, but I'll help you pack."

Kurt sighed.

"Come on, babe. I'm sorry to disappoint you." He let go of Kurt and headed to their room. "I went out and got a new SD card for my camera. I didn't have it with me when I was there before."

Kurt looked over the clothes he had laid out to take. "Do I need a dress outfit of any sort?"

"Not that I know of. It's the middle of the summer. Even at clubs, people will be wearing shorts. You could take one nicer button up to wear with shorts and boat shoes or sandals, if you want. I can grab one of mine and add it in, just in case we see some place nice we want to try for lunch, if something else we've planned doesn't' work out. We've already planned our itinerary."

"Let's take one. You might decide we want to take some family pictures or something and I don't want to have casual shirts as my only option."

"I'll add one to my suitcase too, then." He went in the closet and grabbed one and folded it and put it in his suitcase.

Kurt finished up quickly and folded everything up. "I'll need to get these 'sandals' you mention once we get there," he said teasingly. "I've never worn them before."

"Not a problem." Sebastian handed him the folded items and Kurt arranged them neatly.

"I just need my toiletries bag." He brought it back and put it in. "There. Done."

Sebastian kissed him. "Change into whatever you want to wear on the plane." He grabbed Kurt's suitcase and his and took them to the front door. He went back to their room. Sebastian's breathing had sped up the instant he saw that Kurt was shirtless.

"Surely we have time for a few kisses?" Kurt raised his eyebrow and cornered Sebastian.

"A few."

Kurt smiled and wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck and ran his fingers through his hair. Sebastian put his hands on Kurt's lower back, the touch on bare skin nearly burning his hands. Kurt began to deepen the kiss and Sebastian pulled back.

"Babe, stop."

Kurt loosened his hold on Sebastian and looked him in the eyes.

"I want this. I do. But I'm a man of my word and we're going to be late if you don't finish getting dressed." He pecked Kurt on the lips.

"Of course." He smoothed the back of Sebastian's hair and let go. He turned and grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it over his head and grabbed his small messenger bag that he had packed the night before. "Ready."

* * *

"I missed out on kissing and snuggling to go to Santana's?"

Sebastian nodded. "Just come on." Sebastian knocked.

"Please have a seat." She followed them into the living area and put glasses of tea and a plate of cookies on the coffee table.

"Thanks," Kurt said. He took a glass of tea and a white chocolate macadamia nut cookie and took a bite. "These are good."

Sebastian took a gingerbread cookie and picked up a glass of tea.

"So," Santana started. "Sebastian and I had a long talk today. Oh, and congrats on finding someone willing to do your laundry for you."

Kurt smiled, but just kept eating.

Sebastian pointed out, "I didn't say anything to her about us dating. She figured it out on her own. I didn't let her in either bedroom."

"I saw there was a phone charging cord on both bedside tables in what was Kurt's room. You're sleeping in there together. Anyway, I know we've talked some, Kurt, but I asked you over to officially apologize. I really am sorry for hurting you throughout junior high and high school. I wasn't at the time. I'll admit that. And I enjoyed myself quite a bit of the time. But I don't want to be that person anymore. Sebastian pointed out that me being sorry isn't about somehow making it up to you. It's about not doing the things I did to you anymore. It's about realizing who I want to be and how I have to behave to be that person. I've been thinking about it all wrong the last few months. Sebastian is the one who's been doing it right for the last year or whatever."

"Okay." Kurt took a drink and didn't say anything else.

"I was a bitch to you. I probably still will be at some point in time, no matter how much I try not to be. It will take time."

"I get that. You're not the only person who was hurting in high school and lashed out at other people."

She didn't say anything, but looked confused.

"This isn't a confessional and I don't believe in God anyway, so I'm not going to sit here and tell you my 'sins'. But just know that I know that I'm not some kind of saint. You're human. I'm human. The issue really comes down to you stopping. Sebastian's right that no amount of you being contrite or apologetic will fix you dumping out everything I owned and going through it. But I seriously enjoyed watching _The Facts of Life_ with you. We had some good times. Honestly, if it had just been the two of us at the loft, we probably would have bitched each other out and set down some ground rules. And when you broke them, you'd have come home to your stuff sitting out on the landing and the door locked from the inside until you got it through your head that I was serious."

Santana laughed.

"But as much as you despise Rachel, she stood up for you. 'It's just the way she is, Kurt.'" He rolled his eyes. "You were that way because people let you get away with it. When I moved out, I ended the cycle. I don't have to put raisins in all of the breads I make now just to make sure I have food to eat. Every morning that you took a slice, I went without breakfast."

"I didn't realize."

"I told you."

"I thought you were being a drama queen."

Kurt took a deep breath and let it out. "Back to what we were talking about. You can't somehow make me not hungry for five hours for every slice of bread you took. You can't give me back the hours of sleep I lost to you and Rachel fighting. You're right. There is no atonement. There's no making it up to me."

She nodded. "I get that. That's why I asked you over. I've been operating under exactly that – the idea of penance. But after talking to Sebastian, I realized that there is nothing I can do. I just want to start over. I know we have baggage and I'm asking for more than I deserve. I'd like to be friends with you – and with Sebastian. He and I obviously talked earlier while he was washing clothes. And he made a lot of really good points."

Kurt looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "He must have."

"Look, he told me that he liked you from way back. He thought he'd never have a chance with you, and then a chance fell in his lap. He had already changed before that, but he ran with his chance and held on to it tight. He stuck it out through you being bitchy and tetchy and surly because you were hurting and he cared about you already and wanted to be there for you. He pointed out that you were more affected by what happened than the people who were actually closer to Finn because Finn being gone directly affects your family life every damn day. It was like when Finn said that it didn't matter that people were going to find out that I was a lesbian. Sure, it didn't matter at school. It mattered at home. My abuela still won't speak to me. It's been over a year and a half. Finn dying affects you in a much deeper way because while we've all lost a friend, your stepmother is broken, really broken. This broke your family. You've lost a stepbrother and friend, as well as a mother figure and friend. I know that you and Carole were close."

Tears streamed down Kurt's cheeks. He reached up to wipe them. "Dad too. He loved Finn with all his heart. I saw Finn being the one to eventually take over running the shop, even if Cassius stayed on as foreman. Everything I do is something Finn will never get to do."

"We, meaning all of the New Directions, were wrong to not be there for you. We were sad, but we were also selfish. I can't apologize for them, but I realize how short-sighted I was about how it would affect you."

"Finn and I had just started to finally get things right. He had finally wrapped his head around how a lot of his behavior had been really homophobic." Kurt laughed. "First I had to explain to him that homophobic didn't mean that he was afraid of gay people."

Santana laughed. "I can see that. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm not a nice person, but I want to be a decent person. I'm not sure I can achieve 'nice', so I'm aiming for 'decent' to start with."

"What brought all of this on?" Kurt asked.

"It's hard to explain. It's not just one thing. Moving here has just made me realize a lot of things I guess. Rachel is a big part of it. She's driving me insane. She's still just as dismissive and condescending as she always has been. You know about the party."

Kurt nodded. He put his empty glass back on the tray on the table. "The one I'm not going to – and I wouldn't attend, even if I weren't going to be in Florida."

"I don't want to go."

"So, don't," Kurt said matter-of-factly.

"It's stupid, but it's like a challenge to my worth. She's hosting the party at her new 2-bedroom place in Soho. She's gotten it all decorated now. And she even chipped into buy plane tickets for Marley and a couple of the others. Puck's going to be there. This is his last week of boot camp or whatever it's called in the Marines. He's shipping out the Monday after the Fourth."

"He went through with it."

"He did. Anyway, why I feel like I have to be there is because she's so full of herself. All she does it put down the way I do things at rehearsal. If I'm not there at the party, it will be 'trash Santana' time."

"But if you go, Snixx will lash out."

"Exactly, which is what I don't want to happen."

"Snixx?" Sebastian asked.

"My inner bitch."

"I see." He got up and went over to her kitchen and refilled his glass.

"Oh, and I forgot the best part. She got a block of tickets for everyone to see _Funny Girl_ on the 5th. Technically, we're still in previews, but the show's ready. We actually open on Sunday the 7th."

"How long of a contract did you sign?"

"Six months. I figured if I can make it through the six months, I'll be in a position to get other roles in other shows. I'm taking professional dance lessons and voice lessons for the first time. The show pays enough that Dani and I can afford this place and she's not having to work so much anymore, which allows her to have more time to get her schoolwork done and not be so stressed. I still don't want to go to college."

"So from now until right after New Year's."

"Right."

"I think you can do it. You managed not to kill her in high school when she got parts you deserved, starting in sophomore year when you should have replaced April in the Invitational. You're talented Santana. And every bit as good as she is. And with the ability to get professional voice training, you may become better than she is. You're already a much better dancer than she is."

"Thanks."

"She has taken getting Fanny as confirmation that she is God's gift to Broadway. Just ignore her. This is what she thinks she was born to do. Let her have this. Just this."

"I did what you told me back when I we talked the last time. I ignore her. And you were right. It infuriates her. She absolutely loves to be the center of attention. I don't respond to her jabs in rehearsals." Santana took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I do what you said. I bet I have said, 'I'm rubber. You're glue. What you say bounces off me and sticks to you.' in my head a hundred thousand times by now."

Kurt smiled. "People are watching you all the time. There are always other people around during the rehearsals. Those people are seeing what she's doing. The people who backed the _Funny Girl_ revival are already in debt for this. She's doing a good job performing, so her job is secure right now. They need the show to open and make back their investment, and then some. They need this to be a big hit. She probably also signed a 6-month contract. Once the show is doing well, they may offer you her role at the end of the six months. They may audition new people. I'm not sure. But if she doesn't quit acting like a spoiled diva, this may be her one and only Broadway role. Just let her dig her own hole. Keep your nose clean."

"I know. I know. I am. Being civil to Rachel at rehearsals is bigger challenge to my acting skills than being Fanny ever could be."

Kurt laughed. "I'm sure it is. But keep thinking of it that way. You were never good at keeping your anger at bay or at hiding it. This is an exercise in self-control and acting. And as far as the party goes, to be honest, I think you should go. You should put Snixx in a straight jacket and go in and be as fabulous as you can be. Talk up how much being an understudy is furthering your career. Make it seem like being the understudy is better than anything else you could be doing with your life here in New York City right now. Rachel will either drop it or make a fool of herself. She's done both before, but neither one will reflect on you if you're being super nice to everyone. I know it will be hard to be around Brittany if she's coming."

"She is."

"Are you taking Dani with you?"

"No. I am not subjecting her to the scrutiny of _that_ lot."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure that Dani can hold her own, but I can definitely see why you wouldn't want her to meet a group of people who all have negative stories to tell about you. It's more about self-preservation than it is protecting Dani."

"Not holding back, I see." She took a deep breath and held her tongue. "Go on."

"Okay, look. I know this is going to sound harsh, especially in light of what I said earlier. You need to make it through six months of Rachel's incessant belittling. You dished it out for years, Santana. You called her Man-hands, Hobbit, and a list of other things, none flattering. She's being childish. I get that. But in this particular instance, you did bring a lot of this on yourself. I think you're just going to have to suck it up for the next six months. It's shorter than the six _years_ of crap I dealt with in junior high and high school. It's not that I don't feel bad that this is happening to you, but it went on for so long for me that I don't know what else to tell you to do. Nothing I tried made anyone stop. I needed to graduate from high school and get out of Lima, so being a bitch to people every now and then wasn't going to prevent that. This is different because the other people around you are people in the field that you seem to want to work in."

She reluctantly half-shrugged in agreement.

"The only way for the cycle to stop is for one of you to stop, which you've said you've done already. But right now, she's enjoying her power trip. She will eventually end up alone if she doesn't stop treating people like they are expendable. She lost me. She's lost you. She will lose the other people in the show. She will make it so that no one wants to work with her. You've met Cassie."

Santana nodded.

"She's extremely talented, but unemployable as a performer. That's where Rachel's headed right now. Pretend like you just met her the day you auditioned for the understudy role. Pretend like there's no backstory. You are the amazing Santana Lopez whose very first audition yielded the understudy role on a huge Broadway revival of _Funny Girl_. And that's after you got a commercial. You've not even been here six months. Continue to ignore her."

She nodded. "You're right. I know you're right. I just needed you to kick my ass until I can make it through the party and everyone being here."

"There's a bit more truth time coming from me. You say that you want me to consider giving you the chance to show that that you and I can be friends."

"Yeah."

"This is the last time I'm willing to offer you advice on this situation. I have to have boundaries too. You complained about the commercial. You're complaining about the understudy situation to a person who, through no fault of my own, will be transferring to CCNY because I didn't get a Broadway lead or understudy for the lead or a commercial or a scholarship like Sam and Mike or have parents who can pay the tuition wherever I want to go like Rachel, Artie, Tina, and Blaine. I'm not working on my own CD while singing back up in LA like Mercedes. I didn't get a scholarship based on having savant math skills like Brittany."

"Wait, what? What are you talking about? You're dropping out of NYADA?"

He nodded. "When you brought up how Finn dying affects me more than anyone else on a daily basis, another thing to add to that was that when he died, our family size decreased from four to three and it also decreased the number of college students in our family from two to one. I'm no longer eligible for student loans. It's a giant formula that gets used and the only thing available now would be for my parents to take out a loan to contribute more towards my college expenses. I won't do that. They have Dad's cancer treatments to pay off and they need to pay off their house and save up for any possible future medical bills. He had that heart attack and arrhythmia issue that left him in a coma our junior year. Skip a year. Then, cancer the next year."

"I hadn't thought about anything like that."

"If you repeat what I've said to anyone, my offer to be friends with you will be null and void. It's my life and my choice as to when to share the information. The same holds true about my relationship with Sebastian. My family knows. His family knows. You know because you were spying in our apartment earlier today."

"I already knew you were dating. I only learned that you were sleeping in the same bed by going to your apartment today. Today wasn't the first time I tried to talk to Sebastian. It's just the first time I didn't lose my nerve and leave. I've seen the two of you coming out of your building hand in hand."

"That's another boundary you've crossed. Don't spy on us. I think you really need to more mindful of the Golden Rule. You know, treat people the way you want to be treated – kindly, respectfully, and so on. I'm 100% certain that you would not want someone following you around or sitting outside your apartment watching you and Dani come and go. Even if we become friends, that does not entitle you to access to information about my private life. Just like Reggie had no right to share private information about you in a TV ad, you don't have the right to share private details about my life with anyone."

"'Knowledge is power' has always been my mantra. I maintained my position at the top by having dirt on everyone."

"But a friendship is an equal relationship, not one where one person has power over the other. Now, that I live being in an equal relationship every day, I'm not going back. I won't live under someone else's thumb again. When I look back and think of that day in the choir room during Whitney week, I sang "I Have Nothing" in response to him publicly accusing me of cheating and angrily singing a breakup song to me. I folded. I caved yet again. I blocked the guy's number and didn't even tell him why. I just ghosted him." He took a deep breath. "I'm not interested in an unbalanced relationship where you hold all of the cards."

"I'll think about what you've said, just like I did with what Sebastian said."

"We really have to get going to get to the airport on time." He stood up. "The cookies and tea were a nice treat. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Sebastian and Santana followed Kurt towards the door.

"I'll call you after I get back. I do have one favor to ask."

"What's that?"

"I need one, but preferably two tickets to the show Sunday night. I know she won't care, but we promised each other that we'd be at each other's opening nights on Broadway. I'm not backing out because she's being awful."

"I'll see what I can do. I'll text you and let you know." She unlocked the door and opened. "Thanks for coming over."

"You're welcome."

"Have fun in Florida."

Kurt looked at Sebastian and smiled. "Oh, we definitely will."


	29. Chapter 29

Sebastian unlocked the front door and stepped in far enough to turn the small foyer light on. Kurt followed him in and closed the door behind him. He looked around. It was smaller than he had anticipated, but Sebastian had said that it was just a regular house, but he figured 'regular' meant something different to Sebastian.

Sebastian moved further into the living room and turned on more lights. The floor was gray terrazzo with aqua, cream, and charcoal navy flecks in it. The furniture was navy with silver accents around the room. The wood pieces in the room were stained a distressed gray.

Kurt noticed the coat closet. "Why does the coat closet have a deadbolt on it?"

"Oh, my mom added that so that we can leave some stuff here and not bring it every time, like umbrellas, our lightweight raincoats, our swimming stuff, and sandals. She put a narrow pantry shelf in there where she moved the non-perishable food we didn't eat so that anyone who rents the place won't just eat it."

"That makes sense."

"The place was furnished when she bought it. She made a few updates and changed a few things, but things like the books in the study don't matter to us personally since they came with the house and if someone steals one, it's not a big deal." He walked over to the study and peeked inside to see the sliding barn door. "Okay, so a mini tour before we go to bed, so if you wake up and need something you'll know where it is. He moved to stand next to Kurt who was still standing in the small foyer. "To your immediate right, is obviously the closet we just discussed. To your left is a half-bath."

They both stepped forward.

"Living room, obviously." He pointed to his right. "Study, office, library, whatever." He pointed to the next room going towards the back of the house. "Kitchen. Through the opening you can see the dining room. And past that is a sun room. There's a grill out there and some chaises. Both of those rooms have patio doors that lead into the lanai."

"Got it."

"The hallway you can see to the left leads to the three bedrooms. Each one has it's own bathroom, but just the master bath has a tub. At one point in time, the two other bedrooms shared a bathroom, but when people wanted to rent it or have guests, someone put in two smaller bathrooms, which ate into the floor space of the rooms a bit, but it's not like people on vacation spend that much time in their bedroom."

"True." Kurt walked through the living room, pulled the curtain aside and looked out back. "Nice pool."

"It is. With the house being shaped like a U, it made creating the lanai easy with only one end to enclose and then the cover over the top."

Kurt let the curtain fall back closed. "So, a shower and bed, so we can get up with the sun?"

"That might be a bit early, but sure."

"6:30 isn't that early," Kurt teased.

"It's not, but I might have wanted extra snuggles since you don't have to run off to class for the first time."

"Surely there's a 2-person chaise out there. We could snuggle and watch the sun come up."

"Consensus reached. Now that I think about it, let's unlock the closet and move the food to the kitchen. We can at least eat cereal bars and drink coffee until we're ready to go out and get some groceries."

While Sebastian put the food in the cabinet, Kurt wandered through the dining room and the sun room. He came back in and wrapped his arms around Sebastian from the back and pressed his cheek to Sebastian's shoulder. "How about a moonlight swim?"

He turned in Kurt's arms. "That sounds really nice." He ran his fingers through Kurt's hair. "I like your hair cut. I liked it the other way too, but this looks easier to deal with in the summer. He kissed Kurt and wrapped his arms around him. He tilted his head down just a bit and nuzzled into Kurt's neck and held him close.

"Bas?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Perfect." He inhaled deeply. "It still feels a bit surreal. When I was here, I thought about you a lot. I wanted this so badly, but honestly the most I'd let myself hope for was that you'd come with me as my friend and we'd have a lot of fun. When you asked me to be you boyfriend, I was thrilled. I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but I'm so glad you did."

"Me too. I really like spending time with you and I like you, a lot."

"I would hope so since you're my boyfriend," he teased.

"I just wanted you to hear me actually say it. Santana was right."

"About what?"

"About you putting up with me when I was being tetchy."

"You had a good reason. It's not like you were being irascible or just plain mean. You were hurting. There's a big difference. And you apologized every time. I'm a patient man. I don't have some deluded belief that there are couples that are 100% compatible in every aspect of their lives. No two people like the exact same everything, not even identical twins. I'm not expecting you to suddenly develop an interest in physics, but I hope that you'll be interested enough to be excited for me if I prove something or discover something."

"Of course I would be."

"Let's go change and talk while we swim."

Kurt kissed him under his ear and stepped back. Sebastian double-checked the lock on the front door. Kurt followed Sebastian to the bedroom at the end of the hallway. They opened their suitcases and emptied them quickly.

"I'm going to jump in the shower and wash out the product I have in my hair before I get in the pool." Kurt took his swim trunks into the bathroom with him and showered quickly. When he came out Sebastian was sitting on the bed waiting for him. "Do I need to bring a towel?"

"No, there's a stack of beach towels out in the sun room. When we were here, my mom ordered ten that are identical except the color. She didn't like us dragging the new ones from the bathrooms out to the pool. She said it would make them all fade differently and not match anymore."

"Makes sense." He hung the towel back up in the bathroom. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

* * *

The both grabbed towels on their way out to the pool.

"No one can get in here, right?" Kurt asked as he stepped out the patio door.

"Nope." He turned the lights on in the pool.

"Oh, that's makes it a lot nicer." He put his towel on a chair and sat along the edge of the pool and put his feet in.

Sebastian put his towel next to Kurt's and walked down the steps into the pool. He pushed through the water and stood in front of Kurt.

"How deep does it get?"

"This part is about four feet. The deepest part is on the other end and it's six feet."

"Okay." He slipped down into the water. He pushed off and swam towards the other side of the pool through the shallow area and back to Sebastian. "Aren't you going to swim?"

"What? Oh, sorry. I was busy watching you swim."

Kurt splashed him. Sebastian grabbed for him, but Kurt had taken off swimming away from him the instant he had splashed him. Sebastian swam after him, but Kurt stopped halfway down the pool and double-backed. When Sebastian stopped swimming and looked around for Kurt, he saw that he was on the opposite end of the pool.

He narrowed his eyes and a huge smile broke out on his face. "Slick. Very tricky." He swam back towards Kurt, but did a modified breast stroke so he could keep his head out of the water and watch Kurt.

Kurt watched as Sebastian stood up, water beading down his body, and he shivered from just how attracted he was Sebastian. _Why am I holding myself back?_ _Why can't I let myself have what I want?_

"Kurt?"

Kurt was still thinking about how afraid he was that he wouldn't be enough for Sebastian. "Hmm?"

"You zoned out for a second there."

"You're very distracting."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You're so attractive. I was trying to talk myself into doing what I really want."

Sebastian took the opportunity to break the tension. "So, tell me what you want. What you really, really want," he sang, doing his best Spice Girls impression.

"You."

"You already have me. I don't understand."

Kurt stepped closer and kissed him. "Let's swim a little more. We can talk after I get my thoughts a little less jumbled."

"Okay." He pecked Kurt on the lips, and then pushed off to swim to the deep end of the pool.

They swam laps back and forth several times. Finding a rhythm to the movement of his arms and legs, the motions became automatic and Kurt began to relax. He had had a long day and after several laps, he was pretty tired. He climbed out of the pool and grabbed his towel and dried off. Even though it was nearly 11pm, it was still warm enough to be comfortable in just the swim trunks. He sat down on chaise, leaned back, closed his eyes, and relaxed.

When Sebastian got to the end of the pool and saw that Kurt had gotten out, he got out and dried off too. He moved one of the other chaises next to Kurt's, adjusted it to match, and sat down next to him.

When Kurt no longer heard any movement, he reached out and turned his hand over to offer it to Sebastian, who took it. They intertwined their fingers and lay there in silence for a few minutes.

Kurt eventually broke the silence. He took a deep breath and sighed. "I'm afraid to let myself have what I want."

"Which is me."

"Yes."

"Okay."

"It may be irrational from the outside looking in, but from the inside looking out, it makes perfect sense."

"Alright."

"This goes back quite a ways. Whenever there was something I really wanted and it was within reach and seemed to be within my grasp, it was either yanked away or I got it and then something terrible happened."

Sebastian ran his thumb along Kurt's index finger in a comforting way, but remained quiet, letting Kurt get his thoughts out.

"I'll just mention a few from the last few years. Sophomore year, Mr. Schue suggested "Defying Gravity" for Sectionals and gave it to Rachel." He told him the story. "I blew the high note on purpose because I didn't want my dad to get harassed more for me singing a woman's song in a competition open to the public. And in the end, he didn't use the song. I lost to her on purpose, but didn't say anything at the time. She held that over my head for years."

Sebastian sighed.

Kurt went on. "Junior year had been such a disaster that I didn't really do anything to add to my CV for college applications, so senior year I had virtually nothing to put on my applications. I decided to run for Senior Class President." He explained the ballot box stuffing issue. "I won by 192 votes. I asked her last fall how many extra ballots she put in the year before and she said 100. So, technically I won, but I didn't. And before you say 'That's not fair,' don't bother. McKinley wasn't known for fairness."

"It still sucks."

"Yeah. So, I've told you about Blaine getting Tony. It was my senior year and it was the first year we had done a musical that could actually be staged by high school students in Lima. Sophomore year, Mr. Ryerson chose _Cabaret_."

Sebastian laughed.

"Exactly. He had cast Rachel as Sally Bowles and that was it."

"Well, to be fair, I can't imagine anyone parents being willing to let their underage children play the roles of prostitutes and performers in a night club."

"Right. Junior year, Mr. Schuester chose _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Not one bit. So, obviously, we didn't get to perform that for anyone. So, I was thrilled when _West Side Story_ was chosen."

"And you didn't get Tony despite everyone having agreed that it should go to a senior, specifically you."

"Exactly. Then in the spring, Madame Tibideaux praised my audition. Rachel choked. She got in and I didn't."

"That's ridiculous."

"It is. So, it appeared that I would get what I wanted and it was yanked away. I went to New York a little past the middle of September. I managed to get my internship at _Vogue_ a week later. It was thrilling. Anyway, a week later, Blaine came to New York."

"So you got great job followed by Blaine breaking your heart. What an ass."

"I know. Then I was given the chance to audition on the spot at the Winter Showcase with no warm-up or anything. I got into NYADA. My dad came to visit. He took me out to see my first Broadway show and told me he had cancer."

"So, you got what you wanted, and then found out something bad again."

"Finn and I had finally gotten to a point where we were good."

"And then he died."

Kurt sighed. "And I've lost Carole in a way too."

"And most of the people you've been on friendly terms with."

"That too."

Sebastian squeezed his hand gently. "You're afraid that if we get any closer, you'll lose me somehow or that something else catastrophic will happen to someone you care about."

"I know it's irrational."

"I get it. And I can't guarantee something bad won't happen, but this time what will be different is that I'll be there with and for you, just like I was with Finn's death. I couldn't change what had happened, but I did what I could to be there for you without actually being able to be in New York all the time."

Kurt squeezed his hand. "And it made a big difference. I got to know you."

"All I can say to that we have to enjoy the time we have to our fullest. Holding back won't make each day we have together better in any way. And if one of us isn't going to be around for a long time, the other won't feel better knowing that we held back."

"I know you're right. I do. How about we go inside and shower and keep talking in bed where we can snuggle?"

"Sure."

* * *

Kurt was already in bed when Sebastian came out of the bathroom with just his towel wrapped around him. "I forgot my pajamas." He crossed the dark room to get a pair out of the dresser.

"Skip the shirt."

Sebastian was taken aback by Kurt's statement, but grabbed the pants and went back into the bathroom. He came back out a minute later. "Do you want me to leave the light on in the bathroom?"

"The moon is pretty full. I think we can see okay."

He went around and got in bed, matching Kurt's position on his back and took his hand again.

_Just tell him. Why am I dragging my feet?_ "I think part of the strangeness of all of this is that you look at me like I'm filet mignon and I'm used to being looked at like I'm a soda cracker."

Sebastian laughed. "You are no soda cracker."

"You're missing the point. I didn't mean the way I dress. You look at me like you want me."

"I do want you. You aren't misinterpreting anything."

"I've never been wanted."

"While I'm sure that's not true, it may very well be that no one else has let you know how much they wanted you. It took all of my willpower to keep my eye-fucking to a minimum every time we were within ten feet of each other."

"Bas!"

"What, babe? True is true. You're hot. I have eyes and a teenage libido."

"You're serious."

"I care about you too much to do what my libido tells me to do. How's that for truth time?"

"What does your libido say?"

"To kiss you, make out with you until we're both worked up, and then to follow through."

"You want to have sex with me?"

"Yes? Of course? I'm gay. You're gorgeous. I'm attracted to you. We're dating." _I'm in love with you._ "I'm not sure what's so hard to understand about that."

"Just the fact that you actually really want me."

"Do you want a demonstration or something? What is going to convince you? I can show you here and now, if you'd like." He let go of Kurt's hand and placed Kurt's hand palm down on the bed and picked it up. "I'm fine with this, but I don't want to do something against your will."

"You want me to touch you?"

"Very much so."

Kurt let Sebastian guide his hand.

"And that's after me relieving myself in the shower in hopes of not poking you in the back when we snuggle."

"Oh."

"Pretty much every shower at home ends cold at home in an attempt to not make you uncomfortable with my body reacting to you when we're so close."

Kurt moved his hand away and pulled it up and slid it up and propped up on his elbow to face Sebastian. He used his other hand to guide Sebastian's face towards him and kissed him. "I told you that I thought you were just joking to keep me off-center and on edge as a way to tease me. I'm sorry, Bas. I'm so sorry. That had to be really frustrating for me to rebuff all of your flirtatious behavior." He kissed him breathless.

Sebastian was breathing hard, but said, "Apology accepted. More kissing?"

Kurt smiled and kissed him again. He pulled back and ran his hand down Sebastian's cheek. He took a deep breath and let it out.

"What's got you so tense?"

"All of this is just amazingly complicated. I feel like I shouldn't feel the way I do."

"I'm sure once you tell me, I'll understand better, but I'm lost right now."

_Do it. Say it. Tell him_. He took another deep breath and kissed Sebastian gently once before speaking. "I know we've been dating for not quite two and a half weeks, but it feels like so much longer. Like nearly ever since I move into the apartment. I wasn't in love in Blaine anymore when I slept with him after the reception. And it felt good, of course, but it was different. I learned that I don't enjoy one-night stands. And I also became keenly aware of the fact that while I still loved Blaine, I wasn't in love with him anymore. I'm not really sure how to quit loving him. I still love Rachel as awful as she has been. But it's been since before Thanksgiving since I felt anything romantic or like I still wanted to be in a relationship with him. So, when I gave the ring back, I wasn't broken hearted like I was in October. I was really going to get back together with him because I just couldn't seem to envision a future where everyone in my life didn't point me back to him, like every future path had the two of us reuniting along it somewhere. But you made me see that I was Kurt Hummel, not Blaine's future partner. I had stood up for myself for years before Blaine came along." He mind flashed back to Whitney week. "I wasn't going to be nothing without him. I was still going to be me. You letting me live in your apartment free from the influence of others allowed me to see future paths that didn't involve me turning back into a doormat."

"You, Kurt Hummel, are no doormat or saltine. Not a chance." Sebastian pulled Kurt down a bit and kissed him.

"Thank you." He refocused. "Where was I? Staying in the apartment. That first weekend in April when you came to stay with. It felt like we were dating in a way. You took me to Central Park to watch the sunrise and you took me to the waterfalls. You made me dinner and we watched _Downton Abbey_. The next morning, you went to the flea market with me. If felt like a weekend of dates. You texted me all the time. You gave up the last of the time you had at Dalton with your friends to come to New York to spend time with me. You told me that you liked me, but I didn't know how to process that and instead of repeating it and flirting, you dialed the verbal part back and turned up the 'showing not telling'. Your actions showed how much you cared when my mind wouldn't allow me to accept your words."

Sebastian reached up and put his hand over the top of Kurt's and continued to listen.

"And as odd as it may sound, when you moved all of your stuff into my room this afternoon, it was like this final little nudge that you want to be part of _my_ world, part of _my_ life. Everyone else has wanted me to mold and change and fit into _their_ world. You're not asking me to be someone else or change any part of myself. You merged our things together. It was this very slow revelation that been in the back of my mind, but I only just let myself believe today."

"What did you let yourself believe?"

"That despite the fact that we've officially only been together for a little over two weeks, I've been falling for you for months."

"Falling for me?" he asked quietly.

"I'm in love with you."

Sebastian lifted his head and kissed Kurt. "That is the best sentence I have ever heard."

Kurt smiled. "I'll understand if you don't feel the same. I know I fall hard and fast. I'm a passionate person. I don't do anything halfway. That was part of the hesitation I was trying to explain. I put my all into everything, and so when it doesn't work out, I get hurt more intensely."

"I know. Your passion is one of your very attractive traits. Along with your kindness and how forgiving you are, not that I would abuse either of those. And you were right about me wanting to be part of your life and wanting our lives to be intertwined. I'm not going to hold you back or keep you from having your own life. But at the end of the day, I've loved you coming home and just being together, even when we're doing different things."

"Me too. It's been really nice to have someone who cares about my life too. Over the last year, I've spent quite a bit of time living like my life was irrelevant. I became the sidekick whose life had no relevance to the main characters who were always the focus. But you don't do that." Kurt pressed several gentle kisses along Sebastian's jaw and then his lips. "You always make me feel important."

"That's because you are important to me. As for falling hard and fast, the day we shook hands in the Lima Bean," he chuckled. "I didn't want to let go of your hand. I wanted to you to be single. I wanted to somehow make you mine, but instead I acted out and behaved like a child." He sighed. "I had stop being a petty teenager, to grow up and become a person worthy of being in a relationship with a good man. I honestly didn't think I'd ever get a chance with you. I told you that I've never been good at opening up to people, but this spring I pushed through that so I could be close to you. I guess that's just a lot of nervous words to say that I'm in love with you too."

Kurt pushed up opened the blinds above the bed just a bit to let more of the moonlight in, and then rearranged himself so that he was straddling Sebastian's thighs. He reached for his hands and pulled him to sitting. He slipped his hand into Sebastian's hair, above his hairline in the back and cupped his face with the other. Still leaving some space between their chests, he pressed a soft kiss to Sebastian's lips. "I wanted to be able to see you better. I don't want to remember this in a foggy darkness that will make it feel not quite real."

Sebastian pulled Kurt nearly flush once he could. He let his hands rest on Kurt's lower back, not pushing past what Kurt had said he was comfortable with. He tipped his head back a bit so they were looking eye to eye. "I love you."

"And I love you." He used his leverage to push Sebastian back down on his back, which started him a bit. "Is this okay?" he asked as he leaned down to kiss Sebastian.

"More than okay, so much more."

Kurt slipped his hands under Sebastian's shoulders and put his weight on his elbows and began kissing Sebastian again.


	30. Chapter 30

Sebastian opened his eyes to find Kurt looking at him with a sweet smile on his face.

"Good morning, sweetie."

"Sweetie?" Sebastian repeated, dubiously.

"You're very sweet to me. Would you rather me call you something different?"

"I've never really thought about it." He kissed Kurt on the forehead. "Ready to go watch the sunrise?"

"Definitely. We'll get some shoes for me to wear at the beach and go watch the sunrise there tomorrow."

"I hadn't thought about it until just now, but my dad's water shoes are in the closet. You could borrow those and we can go down to the beach to watch this morning if you want. We'll just go without eating or anything so we don't miss it. We can come back and get ready for the day."

"Ooh, I like that idea. I'm excited to see the ocean. Let's go."

* * *

As they locked the bikes, the sun had come up just enough to not be completely dark. They hurried down to the beach and laid the towel down they had brought and sat down together.

"It's amazing," Kurt said. "Pictures don't do it justice." He took Sebastian's hand and interlaced their fingers. "I'm really glad I came."

"Me too, babe." Sebastian leaned towards Kurt, offering him a kiss.

Kurt met him halfway and kissed him.

"What made you change your mind about going shirtless in public?"

"Just all the things we've talked about over the last couple of weeks. It's a beach. Guys go shirtless at the beach. I'm a guy. I can go shirtless."

"Excellent deduction skills," he teased.

"Plus, you like it when I go shirtless." Kurt pressed his shoulder to Sebastian's and tipped his head and kissed him on the shoulder.

"Well, that's true."

Kurt looked back out over the water. "I want to go wading once the sun comes up."

Sebastian pulled his camera out of the waterproof bag he had in it around his neck. He pointed it at Kurt who turned away.

"Hey, babe. Why'd you turn away? Look back this way. If you're concerned I'll show someone the picture, I won't if you don't want me to, but I'd like to take one, please?"

Kurt turned back. "You're right. You can take it. Can I take one of you afterwards?"

"Sure."

Kurt turned a bit and looked at him. Sebastian took a few shots and handed Kurt the camera. He looked at the shots Sebastian had taken and did his best to frame his shots of Sebastian similarly. He winked at Kurt, who captured the beautiful open smile that filled his eyes spread across his face.

"Your smile is stunning, you know." Kurt gave the camera back.

"Yours is dazzling when you're not trying to suppress it. When it's just the two of us, you relax and have the most amazing smile." Sebastian took a few more shots of Kurt as he relaxed into having candid shots taken.

"I quit smiling when people made fun of my teeth. I'm sorry I insulted yours." He leaned in closer, even though no one was around close enough to hear him. "I like them nibbling on my ears."

"Oh, really?"

Kurt blushed and rolled his eyes. "Yes, really."

"I'll keep that in mind."

The sun finally broke the horizon, the brilliant deep pink light shining though the fluffy clouds at the horizon made them glow peach.

"It's breathtaking," Kurt said. He sat in awe and just stared out over the water.

Sebastian surreptitiously took some photos of Kurt while taking photos of the sunrise itself. He turned so that he was facing away from the sunrise, but was still shoulder to shoulder with Kurt and held the camera so that the sunrise could be seen over their touching shoulders. He said Kurt's name and got him to turn and kissed him and pressed the button and held it down to take five quick shots in succession.

Kurt shook his head and chuckled. "What are you going to do with those?"

"Keep them."

Kurt stood up. He waited for Sebastian to get up and grabbed the towel. He reached out for Sebastian's hand and they walked down to the surf and waded through the water. "I've seen so many photos of the earth from space and the water is clearly visible, but seeing it like this, seeing it go on forever – it's just really amazing. This makes me doubt my big city life choices."

"Ah, well, you don't have to choose between them. We can spend time here too."

"Your mom bought the house to make money."

"She bought the house to be able to come here whenever she wants, whenever any of us wants to. Even if she doesn't make money, she should break even. She's nearly 50. She wants to spend time with the people she loves. And she's decided to do it here."

"That's just so far from how I've grown up. My dad tells stories of robbing Peter to pay Paul after my mom died until things got a little better."

"Your dad struggled alone. I showed you my family tree. My grandpa and his sister were very close and their kids grew up really close as well. And even when three of them got married, they pulled their spouses into the tight-knit group. That's what will happen when they get here. You will be part of all of it. None of them would ever consider not accepting you. Well, of course Jillian will be a pain, but that's her MO. Don't take it personally."

Kurt smiled. "I won't."

They walked along the shore for a while hand in hand. Sebastian stopped abruptly causing Kurt to turn around to see why and he saw Sebastian pointing out into the distance. He scooted up behind Kurt, wrapped his arms around him, and propped his chin on Kurt's shoulder while they watched four dolphins pop up out of the water and dive back in until they were far enough away to not be able to see them anymore.

Before Sebastian let go, he kissed Kurt on the side of the neck. Kurt reached up over his head and wrapped his hands behind Sebastian's neck. He slipped to the side a bit and rotated just enough that he could kiss Sebastian. He turned back and leaned back into Sebastian's chest. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, willing himself to take in everything around him. He wanted to remember all of it. The smell of the water, the sound of the surf coming in and going out, the splash of the water against his calves, the push of the tide coming in and the pull as it went back out, the deep pink sky, Sebastian's arms around his torso and his chin on Kurt's shoulder, the faint sounds of Sebastian breathing near his ear, and the feeling of warmth and contentment he felt in that moment being held by the person he loved. _I told him and he loves me too._

Sebastian stood processing almost all of the same sensations, but his mind honed in on the feeling of having Kurt in his arms. He could feel Kurt's soft skin again his forearms. He could feel every breath Kurt took. _He loves me too._ He kissed Kurt on the neck again right below his ear. "I love being here with you."

"Me too. It's magnificent." He relaxed back into Sebastian and hummed softly.

After a couple of minutes, Sebastian said, "I don't recognize that. What song are you humming?"

"One I've been working on."

"I didn't know you wrote songs."

"I've only written a few, mostly for the musical I wrote two summers ago."

"You wrote a musical?"

"I did. No one liked it, but I had fun doing it, so that what counts." Kurt felt Sebastian's stomach growl. "Ready for breakfast?"

"Yeah," he chuckled. "But I won't starve. This is too beautiful to leave. Let's walk a little more. There are tons of nice shells. Let's pick some out. We'll get first choice today."

"If we can find enough tiny ones along with a nice small one, I could make us necklaces or bracelets. Or I can teach you and we can both make something."

"Sure."

"I'm not always certain how to take it when you say that. Does it mean that you're just going along with my idea, but only because I asked? Or do you genuinely want to do it? Because if you don't, you can read or whatever you want while I make them or I can skip making you one if you don't want one."

"'Sure' usually means 'Yes, I want to do that with you, but I would have never thought of it myself.' And it also might mean that I have no idea whether I do or don't want to do it until I try it. After I try it, I'll know whether I do or don't want to do it again."

"Okay. I just don't want you to feel like I'm twisting your arm or something."

"I'm an open-minded guy. Just because I've never done it before or really considered doing it before doesn't mean that I'm not willing to try something. Everything is new the first time I do it. And doing something is usually the one way you can find out if you like it. Of course, there are things that I'm just absolutely not interested in trying like walking on hot coals or seeing if I can escape from a coffin that's been buried."

Kurt shivered.

"Exactly. But making shell necklaces or trying a new food or activity will more than likely be met with me saying 'sure'."

"Fair enough. So, sunrise seashell hunting?"

"Yes." He kissed Kurt on the neck again before he let go of him.

* * *

Kurt pedaled faster in a burst of energy about four houses from the Smythe's place to beat Sebastian in a race that Sebastian didn't know they were having. All of a sudden, Kurt stopped as fast as he could. He turned back and yelled, "Sebastian stop!" Kurt's heart felt like it had stopped beating, but he could hear it pounding in his ears. He turned back, taking in the sight of the 7-foot long creature between him and his destination.

Sebastian pulled the brakes before he got to the grass. "What?"

Kurt pointed towards the low bike shed alongside the house and turned back. Kurt spoke in the lowest, firmest, calmest voice he could muster after realizing that yelling probably wasn't in his best interest. "There's an alligator."

Sebastian moved forward just enough to see around Kurt. His heart dropped. There was no way to intervene. He tried to sound much more calm than he felt. "Back up slowly and turn the bike back this way and ride out of the yard. We're going out for breakfast. Hopefully when we get back he'll be gone. We'll ask who to call while we're gone."

"Are you sure?" Kurt's voice quavered with fear.

"I'm sure." He continued to speak calmly. "Back away slowly. And once you're facing the right way, pedal away as fast as you can. Go back the way we came. I'll follow you once you're out of the yard." Sebastian took a couple of photos to be able to show people if he needed to, and then turned his bike around to go back the direction they had come from.

He held his breath as Kurt backed up very, very slowly. He kept his eyes on the alligator that hadn't taken a step, but had turned its head to watch Kurt. Kurt did as Sebastian said and moved back slowly in a slight arc into the neighbor's yard. Once he had the front of the bike facing the street, he turned the front wheel to the left and rode through their yard as quickly as he could. Sebastian took off following him. Kurt kept going and didn't stop until he got back to the intersection near the beach.

When he stopped, his breathing was still ragged. "Oh, my God. That was terrifying."

Sebastian got off his bike and leaned it against the bench nearby. He pulled Kurt into a hug and held him tight. They were both shaking slightly. "We're okay. Let's go get something to eat some place with outdoor seating since we don't have shirts. We'll as a local what to do."

Kurt took a deep breath. "Right."

They walked their bikes down the sidewalk a bit to a bike stand and locked them up. Kurt took Sebastian's hand and they walked down about a block and found a place with a walk-up counter facing the sidewalk.

"Morning! What can I get you?"

Kurt looked through the menu board. "I'll have the grilled egg and cheese sandwich and an orange juice."

"Alright. And you?"

"That sounds good. I'll have that too."

"That'll be $9.87."

Sebastian handed him $12 and told him to keep the change. "There's an alligator in my yard and I'm not sure what to do. Any chance you can give me some advice?"

The guy laughed. "You're out and about early, just like the gators. Give it a bit. It'll go back where it came from. Unless it's acting aggressive, just stay away from it. If you call the hotline to have it removed, they'll shoot it. You'll see more of them at dusk and dawn. They mostly mind their own business like every other creature."

"Thanks," Sebastian said. "I don't want to have it shot. Hopefully, it will be gone when we get back. It's sitting in front of my bike shed." Sebastian showed him one of the photos he had taken with his phone.

He nodded. "You're new around here then."

"Yeah, my parents bought a house here. I was here for two weeks and then back in New York where we go to school for two weeks and now we're back. I didn't see any alligators when we were here before."

"I bet you weren't out this early."

"That's true."

"But if you're ever on foot and not on a bike, run away in a straight line if one starts to move towards you. They're fast and they can jump and climb. You're best bet is to run and get inside."

"Got it. Straight line, get inside someplace."

Kurt asked, "Can you tell if it's a male or female?"

The guy laughed. "Sure, but you're not going to want to do that." He explained how it's done.

Kurt shook his head and chuckled, "Yeah, I'll pass."

He laughed. "Me too." He turned and grabbed their food and handed it out the window. "Enjoy the rest of your day. Hopefully your gator will be gone when you get back home. Welcome to the area. We serve breakfast until 11 and lunch until 4. We're open in the afternoon and evenings too, but then we specialize in frozen drinks, mostly alcoholic, but not all of them."

"Thanks."

They found a place nearby to sit and eat, which they did without talking, both of them still a little shaken. Sebastian finished before Kurt and scooted closer to him and put his arm behind Kurt's shoulders, propping it on the back of the bench. He gently ran his thumb in an arc back and forth on the edge of Kurt's shoulder. Kurt looked over at him and smiled. He finished his last two bites and put his wrapper in the sack with Sebastian's and crumpled it. He scooted into Sebastian's side and finished his orange juice.

"That was really good. It had just the right crunchy to tender ratio. And I love fresh-squeezed orange juice. I might turn into an orange while we're here."

Sebastian smiled. "I liked it too. Sometime we'll have to stop by for one of the frozen fruit drinks."

Kurt didn't say anything, which surprised Sebastian.

"Do you not like them?"

"Oh, I love them."

"Then why that face?"

"Oh, sorry. It's fine. It sounds good. Are we ready to go back and see if the alligator is gone?"

"If it's not, we'll just take the bikes inside and leave them in the entryway while we shower and get dressed. It was alongside the house, not near the front door. Let's go see."

* * *

"Inside it is," Sebastian said, as he edged up the sidewalk just far enough to see around the side of the house.

They got off the bikes and used them as pseudo-shields as they walked up the front walk to the house.

After Sebastian had closed and locked the door, he said, "How about Max?"

Kurt looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "You're going to name it?"

"Yep. Since we're obviously not going to figure out whether it's male or female, Max can be short for Maximilian or Maxine. Hopefully, Max will go back home at some point today, but for now, let's go get dressed in clothes so we can go in the grocery store. Or at least put shirts and regular shoes on." He slipped the water shoes off and put them near down. "Let's just do that. We can come back and put the groceries away, make lunch, and shower and get dressed for real before we go out shopping."

After Kurt slipped his shoes off, he stepped closer and kissed Sebastian. "Works for me." He slowly backed Sebastian into the half-bath door and softly ran his hands along his arms. Once Sebastian's back was against the door, he pressed in and kissed him with passionate kisses full of love. When they had to take a breath, Kurt kissed along his jaw up to his ear. "I love you."

Sebastian was lost in the moment and didn't respond.

Kurt pulled back. "Too much?"

Sebastian pulled him back and kissed him. "No, not too much. I love you too." His breathing was quick as he kissed along Kurt's neck. "I may have had a few daydreams of you in nearly this exact scenario. I was having a bit of déjà vu."

"Oh, really?" He kissed Sebastian, licking at his lower lip and deepened the kiss, giving him no time to respond. He kissed down the other side of his neck. "Are there other things you've daydreamed of me doing?"

"Oh, yeah. I have a very vivid imagination when it comes to you."

"Do tell." Kurt ran his hands down Sebastian's chest to his waist and let them rest there.

Sebastian's heart was beating fast and he caught his breath. "Well, there's you in the shower."

"Ooh, now that sounds like a fun one. Should we give that one a go?"

Surprise showed in Sebastian's eyes, but they also gleamed with anticipation. "Teasing isn't nice."

"Who's teasing?" He leaned against Sebastian and moved his hands up to Sebastian's face. He ran his thumbs along his cheeks. "I wouldn't tease you, but I won't try to convince you either."

"I don't need convinced. I just want to know that you're sure."

"After we talked the day you found me looking at myself in the mirror, I've done a lot of thinking and we've talked a lot. We talked last night about me holding back and how I didn't want to. How I want to let go. How much I want to let myself have what I want. "

"And how what you want is me."

"Yes, but I'm a patient man too. I want you to be equally interested."

"Oh, there's no lack of interest on my part. I just want to know that you're not doing this because you think you owe it to me or something."

"Oh, definitely not." Kurt ran his thumbs in an arc above Sebastian's hipbones. "There are so many things I want now that I've never really wanted before. I've done a lot of soul searching the last couple of weeks and I talked to my counselor too. I've never felt the way I've been feeling."

"What do you mean?"

He kissed Sebastian sweetly. "Turned on. So turned on. That's what has been causing me so much confusion. I want things I've never wanted." He was breathing so hard. He put his head down on Sebastian's shoulder to regroup. "I invited you into my bed. I had never cuddled like that. I want to hold you and touch you and kiss you."

"Me too."

"But I want to do other things too. Things I've never done before. Things that never interested me before."

Sebastian looked confused.

"I want to shower with you for one."

"You're not making a lot of sense. You and–"

"Nope."

"Me neither, but I figured it was because of the nature of my arrangement. No romantic stuff."

"Makes sense." Kurt kissed him again. "So, we can either go shower together or we can go get dressed and talk more first."

"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but let's get dressed. I love you too much to mess this up."

"Okay." Kurt pecked him on the lips and stepped back. "We'll put shirts and shoes on and go grocery shopping. If I'm going to have to try to out run Max, I might need to put a pair of running shoes on my shopping list for this afternoon." He took Sebastian's hand and squeezed it. "Come on." He pulled him towards their bedroom.

* * *

Late that evening, Kurt shut the taxi door and followed Sebastian up the walk to the house. They had left the front lights on so they'd be able to see anything in the front yard on their way in, but they moved quickly anyway.

Kurt closed and locked the door, "Well, that was creepy, but it was fun."

Sebastian let Kurt walk through the living room to the hallway. Once he had the light on, he turned the entryway light off and followed him. "It was. Maybe more creepy than fun in parts like the cemetery, but I think overall it evened out."

"I've never been on a guided tour like that. The guide was a really good performer and storyteller. Until tonight, I hadn't really considered any type of performing except stage, but it could be fun. I'm not sure what, if anything, there is like that in New York, but I might look into it."

Kurt started to undress. Sebastian stopped at the doorway.

"Is something wrong?" Kurt looked over at him.

"You're undressing in front of me."

"Would you rather I not?"

"That's a trick question. Of course, I'd like to see you take your clothes off. If I'm sharing," he said flirtatiously, "I'd admit that you doing a striptease has been one of the fantasies I've had."

"Oh, really?" Kurt approached him, shirtless. He stepped just close enough to be able to kiss him without touching him.

"Why are you teasing me?"

"I told you that I wasn't teasing earlier."

"I think now's a good time to talk about what feels like a sudden change to me, one that's making me feel on edge. I want all of these things with you – the showering, the strip tease, and more, but I can't just go from cuddles and kisses to those other things with you without feeling like we're on the same page. I know it probably seems super weird for me to go from propositioning you a few months ago to saying 'Slow down. I want to talk.' now that we're together. But like I said earlier, I love you too much to mess this up."

"You're right. Just because I finally cleared the hurdles doesn't mean that we need to race to the finish line. I love you too. I shouldn't have assumed that you were unhappy with the way things were and wanted to move on to more sexual activities."

"Oh, believe me, gorgeous, I do want that." He wrapped his arms around Kurt and pulled him close. "It's just that it isn't _all_ I want. The cuddles and kisses have been amazing and they've filled a place in my heart that hurt and was damaged. I told you that Jean finding someone new in less than a week really hurt. It made me feel like I was only good for my body, not who I am – that I never mattered at all."

"Which is how you were acting when we met."

"Because that's how I felt when we met."

Kurt nodded. "That's not how I feel about you, though. I fell in love with you. And you absolutely matter to me, Sebastian. I want all of you. Your snarky sarcasm, humor, flirty come-ons, and leering looks. Your kindness, gentleness, and sweetness. Your geeky physics stuff, your love of reading, music, and dancing. All of the things I didn't think to name too. Everything. All of you."

He held Kurt close and buried his nose into Kurt's neck.

"You've built me up so many times when I was down. You've been such a rock to me. I want to be your safe harbor like you've been mine."

Sebastian nodded. "You are. Hearing you say those things means a lot." He didn't let go for a few minutes. When he did, he stepped back just a bit and sweetly kissed Kurt and then pressed his forehead to Kurt's. "Why don't you go ahead and shower. I'm a little hungry. I'll go make us a snack."

He squeezed Sebastian and let go. "Sounds good to me."


	31. Chapter 31

The next morning, Kurt woke up with Sebastian wrapped around him. _God, he's snuggly._ He smiled. He had never, ever envisioned Sebastian Smythe as a snuggler extraordinaire, but he was absolutely wrong. What surprised him in equal measure was just how much he loved to be snuggled by Sebastian.

Sebastian moved just a bit and opened his eyes. "What are you thinking about so intently?"

"You. Us."

"All good thoughts, I hope."

"Yes. Definitely."

"So, shall we snuggle more or get up?"

"What's on our agenda for today?"

"Pirate ship adventures. The _Black Raven_."

"And the fort and the pirate museum. I remember now. I think we have time for some snuggling, but we have to ride the bikes down to where we can catch the right bus to get to where we're going. We could rent a car for the whole day for less than a taxi IF we were old enough to rent a car. But we'll get a lot of exercise riding the bikes around."

"And the view is so nice when you ride in front," Sebastian teased.

"I'm sure." He pulled Sebastian's hand up to his lips and placed kisses along his knuckles. "Maybe we should get up and do some stretches to warm up for our long bike ride."

"Mmm. Snuggle or watch you stretch? You don't play fair."

"I suppose we could somehow snuggle and stretch."

"Show me."

* * *

When they came back that evening they opted for a simple dinner of spaghetti. The showered early and changed into pajamas and watched the first _Pirates of the Caribbean_ movie to finish off their day of pirate-related activities.

When the movie finished, they continued to lay snuggled up on the sectional in the living room.

"I had fun today," Kurt said. "I loved spending the day with you."

"Me too. We've only been able to do it a couple of times before coming here."

Kurt snuggled into Sebastian's chest. "Well, we should do it whenever we can. I really like talking to you and being goofy with you like we were on the pirate ship. That was so much fun. And another potential form of performing, except for the part where there are no pirate ships in New York City."

"Brr. Fun for three seasons a year. Probably the closest place would be Boston to work on a ship of any sort."

"We could get some swords and spar against each other. I'm going to miss that. I hadn't thought about it. I won't be able to go to the Stage Combat Club anymore."

"We'll look online and see what we can find to arm ourselves. Are you ready to go to sleep?"

"Yes, but that means I have to move." Kurt ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair and kissed him.

Sebastian chuckled. "You can pet me and kiss me in bed. Come on."

* * *

Friday morning they got up and went for a sunrise swim in the pool. Afterwards, they made breakfast and packed snacks and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to have for lunch. They spent the late morning and afternoon touring the oldest store, school, and one of the oldest houses in St. Augustine.

When they got back, they grilled some fresh seafood they had bought on the way home. They spent some time looking through the library after they ate and they each found a book to read. They curled up together on the sectional in the room to read.

Kurt lost his focus on the book in his hands and started of the top of it at Sebastian who was wearing his glasses and still reading intently, not noticing Kurt watching him. Kurt watched the corners up his mouth turn upwards in a slight smile and continued to read. It wasn't until then that Kurt actually looked at the book Sebastian had chosen. It was a murder mystery. He was surprised that it was humorous. When Sebastian finished the chapter, he glanced towards Kurt and caught him staring.

"Like what you see?" he asked with his usual bravado and brazenness.

"Oh, definitely. Very much so. You would make a gorgeous underwear model."

"Oh, really? How do you know? You've never seen me in my underwear."

"Well, I've seen you in your swim trunks, which is close enough to know."

"Mmm."

"You were smiling when you were reading. I didn't think murder mysteries were funny."

"I didn't think so either, but the back of the book said that it was, so I thought I'd give it a chance. It's a genre I've never given a chance before."

"And what's your verdict at this point?"

"Well, I'd give it a thumbs up for sure. The main character is the one who solves the mystery. And man about her age moves to town and he's there to help out with his mom's dress shop while she has to have surgery."

"Okay."

"And everyone in this small town thinks that he's gay because he's a tailor and running in the dressmaker's shop. So, the humor is in how his interactions with the main character are misinterpreted repeatedly because he's trying to ask her out, but everyone thinks he's gay. Plus, the main character's family members are hysterical."

"Maybe I'll read it next. This one isn't really holding my attention. I usually like biographies, but this one is just kind of falling flat. I think I'll try a different book."

"Or we could go ahead down to the beach and watch _Casablanca_ like I suggested earlier."

"You'd give up your humorous and possibly romantic murder mystery?" Kurt thought about how he had watched it with Blaine and that's what had made him balk when Sebastian had suggested it in the first place, but he didn't want to give Blaine any control over his future and they had watched a lot of movies together. If Kurt never rewatched any of them, he'd miss out on a lot of movies he loved.

"To go watch a movie with you at the beach? Any time, babe." He ran his hand slowly along Kurt's calf, caressing his skin gently.

"Mmm. You petting me like that makes me want to go find it on Netflix or something and watch it here."

"I can pet you at the beach, too."

"You've won me over. Let's change."

Sebastian picked his phone up from the cushion next to him to check the time. "We have at least 15 minutes before we have to go, so there's time for kissing before we leave."

"Kissing, you say?" Kurt put the book he had been reading off to the side and repositioned himself so that he was straddling Sebastian's lap. "Like this?"

Sebastian let his hands slide down Kurt's back to rest on his waist. "I definitely like this."

After a few minutes, they slowed down to catch their breath.

"We need to change," Kurt said, his forehead pressed to Sebastian's.

It took all of Sebastian's willpower to let go of Kurt. He wanted to take Kurt into their room and forget the movie existed, but he also wanted to give Kurt the kinds of things he wanted like watching old movies together, and how could he get anymore fun than doing it at the beach. He pecked Kurt on the lips, still breathing a little heavy. He brought his hands up and cupped Kurt's face gently. "I love you." And he was absolutely certain of it because otherwise, he would just follow his libido into the bedroom and forget the romance. But he knew that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted Kurt and he was finding that he was better at romance than he thought he was once he let his walls down and admitted to himself how much Kurt meant to him. He looked Kurt in the eyes and kissed him gently.

"I love you too."

They changed back into their swim trunks and put on the sun shirts they had bought and rode the bikes down to the beach. They found a good place to put their towels down and settled in to watch the movie. Kurt sat back against Sebastian's chest.

After a few minutes, Sebastian slipped his hands up under the front of Kurt's shirt and softly ran his fingers along Kurt's abdomen. Kurt ran his fingers along Sebastian's calves, varying the amount of pressure he used, from very light to lightly massaging. It was an intoxicating experience to be so bold with their physical affection in a public setting.

* * *

Saturday, they spent the morning relaxing around the house and working on making necklaces, bracelets, and anklets, some for themselves and some to give to Jillian and Alexis once they arrived.

That afternoon, they went out to the more touristy area and looked through some of the shops. They worked their way towards the area where Uptown Saturday Night was held and they looked through the antique stores and the interesting and unique stores in the area. They enjoyed the free musical entertainment and refreshments. It reminded Kurt a bit of a couple of gallery openings he had been to in New York the previous fall before he started working so much that he never had time to enjoy the City he wanted to live in so desperately.

Later that evening they went to a pipe organ concert at St. Augustine Basilica that was part of the Annual St. Augustine Music Festival. It was Kurt's first. Both of them loved every minute of it.

* * *

Sunday morning, they lay snuggling in bed after they woke up. Sebastian ran his fingers along Kurt's bare arm while placing gentle kisses along his shoulder and up his neck. "I know we had talked about staying home today until this evening, but I saw a place in one of those 'Visit St. Augustine' brochures last night."

"What kind of place?"

"Can it be a surprise?"

"Sure, Bas. You know I'd go anywhere with you."

Sebastian did know, but hearing it made his heart skip a beat.

"Except a strip club. You know that doesn't interest me."

"I do know that. It's not a strip club. It doesn't open until noon. It's not even usually open on Sundays, but it is because it's the weekend before a holiday and there's lots of tourists here."

"So, we can still enjoy our Sunday morning snuggles?"

"We can, but I'm really thirsty. I'm going to go to the bathroom and go bring us a drink back from the kitchen."

While he was gone, Kurt went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He was sitting up in bed when Sebastian game back with two glasses of water and what was left of their fresh orange juice.

"One detail I will tell you is that it does not involve water in any way, so you can dress however you'd like."

"Okay." He took the glass of water and drank it.

Sebastian drank his water and then split the orange juice between them. He took the glasses and the bottle into the bathroom.

When he came back, he crawled up the bed and pulled Kurt down a bit, so his head was on his pillow and kissed him. He sat straddling Kurt. "Can I?"

"Yes, whatever you want."

"I want… to touch your skin everywhere." He ran his hands down Kurt's upper arms. "You're… just beautiful. So beautiful."

A few tears formed in Kurt's eyes. He closed them to try to refrain from letting them fall.

"Can you open your eyes? I want you to look at me. To know it's me who loves touching you like this."

"You're the only one. I know it's you because you're the only one to ever do this. But I'll keep my eyes open. I want to remember this. If I close my eyes it might feel like a dream." Kurt reached up and ran his hands down Sebastian's arms. "I want to touch you too."

"We'll switch in a bit, okay?"

"Yeah. Kiss me too?"

"Mmm hmm," he mumbled as he leaned down and kissed Kurt. He sat back up and went back to his thorough exploration.

* * *

As soon as they got close enough to see the sign, Kurt's face lit up. "A classic car museum?"

"Yep."

"This isn't something that would interest you."

"But I love you and it interests you. Let's go. He sped up his pace and headed towards the building.

They spent three hours of Kurt _ooh_ -ing and _ahh_ -ing over hundreds of cars.

"I helped my dad rebuild one of these when I was 15. We finished not long before he bought my baby from a flood sale for pennies on the dollar. We rebuilt it next." He sighed. "Selling her was hard. But I needed to fund my great escape to New York City. I don't want to live in Lima, so having my dad keep her for four years made no sense and a huge vehicle in the city just makes no sense. She was freedom. I could leave the house and just go for a drive and go out to different lakes or nearby towns where no one knew me and just be. And when she couldn't be my freedom around Lima anymore, she gave the money to pursue being free in New York. I miss working in the shop with my dad. My senior year when Blaine came back from Six Flags, I really cut back on my hours to the point where he teasingly accused me of only hanging around the shop when I wanted money, which was mostly true. I had quit going to the shop just to spend time with him. And then he won the election and he was gone more than he was home during the week. I still worked part-time, but it wasn't the same without him there."

Sebastian squeezed his hand and followed him around and listened to him go on and on about the magnificence of various cars and their engine configurations.

Later that evening, they had changed and headed down to the beach area. They stopped by the restaurant they had eaten breakfast at the first morning they were there and ordered two icy fruity drinks made with real fruit. Sebastian showed a fake ID to get his with alcohol in it. Sebastian grabbed Kurt's and handed it to him, took his hand, and they walked towards the beach.

"I wasn't sure you'd want to come back for one. You didn't seem thrilled with the idea that day," Sebastian said.

"Oh, that was just me flashing back to other times I've been around people who've been drinking. I've developed a dislike for being around drunk people."

"I do like alcohol, but I don't drink until I'm drunk. When I was in France, my aunt and uncle taught me how to drink and gauge my level of coherence. I won't get drunk and freak you out. I promise."

Kurt nodded, hoping he was able to keep that promise.

"Is that why you don't drink?"

"I've been known to have wine occasionally. I don't like hard alcohol. I'm sure wine coolers are fine and probably that drink you ordered. I just don't like the out of control feeling. The one time I've been drunk, sophomore year, I threw up on Miss Pillsbury and she had to go to the ER for three decontamination showers because I triggered her OCD so badly."

"Oh, that's terrible – for her I mean."

"It was. She managed to lie to the school nurse and take me home on her way to the hospital. She and I had a long talk the next day about why I had been drinking at school. She was the only teacher that ever really seemed to care. She didn't tell my dad because I promised her it wouldn't happen again."

"How did you get alcohol? I've seen pictures of you from then. You hadn't really hit puberty and you looked like you were 14."

"An adult gave it to me and told me that it would help me be courageous."

"Stupid adult. Sounds like setting you up to become an alcoholic."

"She was an alcoholic."

"I see. McKinley was a seriously messed up school."

"That I can definitely agree with."

They walked along through the surf and found more shells that they gathered before they went home.

* * *

Besides visiting a chocolatier and taking a tour on Monday, they spent the rest of their time at the house relaxing, reading, swimming, and cooking together.

* * *

Tuesday, they visited a special Picasso exhibit of painting, many of which had never had a public viewing. Before they headed home, they went shopping and got what they needed for a couple of days when the rest of Sebastian's family would arrive.

* * *

Wednesday morning, after their early morning swim, they straightened up the few things they had left lying around. They did some laundry and worked together to make four different pasta sauces and a large chopped salad for dinner that evening when the rest of Sebastian's family would be eating with them. They ate sandwiches while they prepared everything.

Everyone showed up a little before noon. They had stopped and grabbed fast food after they picked up the SUV they had rented. They dropped their stuff off and Kurt and Sebastian climbed in the backseat with his cousins. They drove straight to _El Galeón_ to tour the ship that was docked for the week. It was an amazing tour to see the interior of all of the parts of a working ship that encompassed five decks and took 28 crewmen to run. They spent the whole afternoon wandering through the different areas, talking to the crew, and each other as they all learned a lot about history and sailing the way people did for centuries.

When they got back, Kurt and Sebastian headed into the kitchen and cooked four different types of pasta, warmed up the sauces they had made earlier, and put out all of the salad ingredients along the counter. Nina finished unpacking the quickest and came out to help get the plates and bowls out. She set the table with silverware and napkins.

When everyone else came out, dinner was ready. Everyone went through like a buffet line and took their plates to the dining room and sat down.

Kurt was pleased, but still surprised when he realized that Sebastian had been right. Everyone in his family just went on like he had always been a part of the family and there was no standoffish behavior whatsoever. Jillian sat down between him and Isabelle and talked to both of them during the meal.

After dinner, Jillian and Alexis helped Kurt and Sebastian with the clean up, which didn't take long. The adults sat out in the sunroom talking. They joined the adults and brought charades out with them, which she had packed in her suitcase. After they finished, they played some other games that Kurt and Sebastian had found in the library.

* * *

When the other three were putting the games away, Kurt went into their room and brought out the necklaces and bracelets that he and Sebastian had made for them.

Kurt laid them on the desk in the room.

Alexis picked hers up. "You made these for us?"

"Well, we picked the shells out at the beach, but we drilled holes in them and strung them and tied them and put the clasps on."

"Can you teach us? I want to make a bracelet for Calista and Maeve. They're my best friends."

"Sure. When we go to the beach tomorrow, just take some snack ziptop bags and some paper towels so you can keep them in good shape. I can show you how to do it with some of the leftover shells we have. That way you can do it when we're gone."

Kurt left and went to get the tools they had used and the leftover shells they weren't keeping for themselves to take back with them. Sebastian grabbed a few paper sacks from the kitchen.

When Victoria heard the drill in the library, she went to see what they were doing. "Oh, wow. Those are really pretty. I'd like one too. I'll have to pick some shells I like when we go tomorrow."

"Want one what?" Isabelle asked when she looked into the room.

"A shell bracelet. Or maybe an anklet," Victoria answered.

Isabelle stepped inside the room. Alexis and Jillian showed her their necklaces and bracelets. She scooted closer to the desk to see what Kurt and Sebastian were doing.

"That's really pretty too. Maybe you'd let your dear old Aunt Izzie have that one."

Sebastian smiled at her. "Of course. I didn't know that homemade shell bracelets were allowed to be worn by _Vogue_ employees," he teased.

"Oh, but see handmade jewelry by said employee's nephew is definitely allowed. Family loyalty and all that," she teased. "It will look good with my tan that I'm going to show off."

Sebastian nodded and smiled. "Step closer and show me which one of these you want to be in the center, and then hold your wrist out so I put the right number of small shells on so it's the right length."

Kurt continued to show Jillian and Alexis how to drill holes in the shells carefully while Sebastian worked on creating Isabelle's bracelet. Once he finished hers, Victoria and his mom wanted one too. He used the shells that Kurt had been using to teach the girls and the ones the girls had drilled holes in to make bracelets for his mom and aunt.

* * *

Kurt and Sebastian were lounging on the double chaise when Isabelle came out for an early morning swim.

"Good morning, you two. You're up early."

"We've not been sleeping in while we're here," Sebastian answered.

"I don't 'sleep in' well, is what he really means. My internal alarm clock goes off and I'm up for the day, enough sleep or not."

She sat down and relaxed back in one of the other chaises. "I'm going to warm up a bit in the sun before I get in.

Kurt's phone pinged. He picked it up off the small table next to the chaise.

-You haven't returned any of my texts for months, but I'm assuming that you're still getting them. I sent the set list for the duets for the party tonight about a week ago. I hope you've been practicing.

Kurt rolled his eyes and showed the text to Sebastian. "I'm going to respond. She's obviously not gotten the message from me ignoring her texts."

"Whatever you think will work."

"I don't think anything will, but I'm going to give it one last try." He began composing a long text to send back to Rachel.

-I responded to the very first text you sent to me informing me of the party at your place today. My response is that I would not be in attendance. Perhaps my response slipped past when you got responses from other people, but more than likely you ignored it. To make myself clear, I will not be at the party. I am not in New York. I will not be in New York today or tomorrow. I am on vacation with my boyfriend. I am going to kindly ask you to refrain from contacting me again about the party.

He sent the text. He wondered how long it would take for her to spread the gossip to the whole group. She responded with lightning quick speed.

-Boyfriend? You and Blaine are perfect for each other. How could you have moved on so quickly and already have another boyfriend? Is it Adam? Who will Blaine perform with this evening?

-Adam is in England. We're still good friends. Stop digging for information. Stop trying to get me and Blaine back together. That is not going to happen. He cheated. I don't trust him. Relationships are built on trust. You were there when it all happened. Blaine can sing with you this evening. You always enjoyed that. You don't need me. You really don't. It's a tragedy that he's not bi. You're perfect for each other. Leave me out of your matchmaking. I'm happy now.

-Who is it?

-None of your concern.

-It's your fault that he's going to Oberlin and not NYADA.

-Not even remotely possible.

-Your dad called his dad and showed him the video from the engagement.

-Still not my doing.

Sebastian asked Kurt, "May I?" He reached out for Kurt's phone.

"As long as I can see it before you hit send."

"Of course."

Kurt handed his phone to Sebastian, who took down Rachel's number and texted her himself.

Isabelle sat down next to them. "What's all the furious texting about?" she asked nosily.

"Rachel's being a pain," Kurt said.

She chuckled. "That's nothing new. Tell her I said 'Hi! and good luck Sunday.'" She got up, walked over the to pool, and got in.

Sebastian finished typing the text.

-This is from Kurt's boyfriend. You need to just stop. We're here on vacation in Florida with my parents, aunts, uncle, and cousins. You're interrupting our holiday. He's been too kind to block you, but that's still a possibility. If you still want to maintain any type of contact with him, let this drop. I hope you enjoy your party, but Kurt won't be there. Oh, and Aunt Izzie (Isabelle Wright) says to say, 'Hi! and good luck Sunday.'

He showed it to Kurt, who shrugged. "If you send that, by 10 minutes from now, everyone in the New Directions will know that we're dating."

Sebastian leaned closer and kissed him. "Makes no difference to me. They all hate me anyway. Well, except Santana. I'm assuming that Sam is neutral at least."

"He's fine with it. You know that he said that you are far from the only 17-year-old to do stupid things." Kurt thought about it for a minute. "Let me send my dad a text telling him that if he has an emergency to call your phone." He quickly sent the text. "Instead of you sending that text, I'm going to send a very similar one." Kurt composed a text to send before he shut his phone off.

-You just need to stop. We're on vacation in Florida with my boyfriend's parents, aunts, uncle, and cousins. You're interrupting our holiday. I haven't blocked you yet, but that's still a possibility. If you still want to be able to contact me, let this drop. My boyfriend's Aunt Izzie (Isabelle Wright) says to say 'Hi! and good luck Sunday.'

It was less than a minute before his phone buzzed again.


	32. Chapter 32

-You're dating Isabelle's nephew?

-Yes. Now, let the stuff about the party drop. I'm putting my phone in our room. If you call back, I won't hear it.

-OUR room? As in you're sharing a room?

He didn't respond. He powered his phone down and took it in the house and plugged it up. When he came out, Sebastian was in the water. He got in as well and swam out to where Sebastian was. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Just reminding me that I'm allowed to be happy. And I am. And that you'll stand up for me when I don't stand up for myself, but you doing it actually gave me confidence to do it myself."

"You're welcome."

Victoria stuck her head out the patio door. "Breakfast is ready. Come eat."

The three of them dried off and went into the dining room. Plates of eggs, sausages, pancakes, biscuits, gravy, and fruit salad were passed around.

Art said, "So, late this afternoon, we're going to head over to a church not far from here where they're running shuttles out to where the fireworks will be."

Everyone nodded.

Anthony asked Sebastian, "Are you excited your classes are starting next week?"

"Yes and no. I'm excited to get started, but I'll miss having the rest of the summer off. I find out tomorrow whether I got 5s on my AP exams. I'll have to switch my classes if I didn't, but I'm hoping I did."

"I assume you're taking a physics class. What else?"

"Calculus III hopefully."

"What about you, Kurt?" Anthony asked. "Last night, Sebastian mentioned that you've been taking classes already this summer and you're continuing this term."

"I'm taking Statistics, World History, and Advanced Costume Design."

"Well, that's an unusual mix," he said.

"I started a semester late, so I'm trying to knock out some of the core courses. I took Environmental Science, a required Intensive English class, and a Vocal Performance course last term. I originally chose the core courses because I needed the credits to transfer, but instead I've decided to transfer to the school I've been going to this summer. My credits from last semester will transfer to the new school."

Isabelle asked, "So, you've decided for sure?"

Kurt nodded. "Performing arts and costume design are already a risky career choices. I can't set myself up to be so far in debt for 10 years on a chance I could be more successful with a degree from a more prestigious school. I can always make a living fixing cars. It pays about the same as getting a role in an off-Broadway show. And I could do both, but I'd rather not be doing both just to pay loans off. I've read some seriously depressing stories about people paying their loans back and owing more after five years of payments than they did to start with."

"Fiscally responsible. That's unusual in someone so young," Anthony said, impressed.

"I've always had expensive tastes," he chuckled. "My dad made a point of teaching me how to budget and the value of hard work."

Anthony smiled and nodded. "I know all about expensive tastes." He looked at Victoria, Jillian, and Alexis.

Jillian rolled her eyes. "Not me so much. It's Princess Alexis here that wants $150 dresses to wear to school. It's mom who insisted on the clothes that I wore to school. What I want to wear is jeans and stuff that I like – things like t-shirts and henley's and button-ups that mix and match. And that are practical."

Alexis countered with. "You want to dress like a boy."

Kurt suppressed a chuckle. "Fashion has no gender," he offered on Jillian's behalf.

"Thank you, Kurt."

Alexis said, "You're wearing swim trunks and a tank top thing instead of a swimsuit."

"You mean instead of a bikini."

"Which you look good in," Alexis insisted.

"Well, what if I don't want a bunch of guys looking at me like I'm on the menu board? What if I like swimming without having to wonder whether my bikini top is going to untie or unfasten and then provide everyone with a free show? What if I like swimming without my bikini bottoms wedging themselves someplace I don't want them? What if I want to get out of the pool and not wonder if my butt is covered or not? And Aunt Izzie is wearing swim trunks too. What I'm wearing is actually her extra set. She let me borrow it."

Isabelle laughed. "I bought them both for all of the same reasons that Jillian just mentioned, plus comfort."

"I don't want attention from a bunch of guys who think I'm hot. I want someone to be interested in me as a person and to also find me attractive. If they only like the way I look, they may very well just go looking for someone else once my looks aren't as attractive. No one makes it to their 80s looking like I do. I want to find someone who won't just trade me in for a younger, prettier partner when they're 35."

"Good for you, Jillian," Isabelle said. "You should dress for yourself. Wear what you like and you're comfortable in. There may be social occasions that call for something you don't care for, but you can try to tweak your outfit to your own personal tastes as much as possible. Lots of professional women and movie stars are wearing suits with pants instead of skirts these days. It's all a lot more forgiving than it used to be. Your grandmothers had to wear skirts or dresses to school and to work. That's not the case anymore. They had to be made up just to go out. Hair, makeup, skirts or dresses, low heels at least. Things are so much different. Fashion can be so much fun, but there are a lot of ways to express yourself without having to wear clothing that makes you uncomfortable."

Jillian smiled. "Thanks, Aunt Izzie. Maybe that will help Mom let me pick some new clothes that I like, even though she thinks they're unfeminine. Maybe Kurt could take me shopping after we eat so I can get a couple pairs of my own swim trunks and some tops of some sort. They're leaving tomorrow, so it's really my only chance."

Kurt looked at Sebastian.

" _He_ doesn't have to go," Jillian said, like a challenge.

Kurt laughed. "Sure."

"I want some beach dresses," Alexis said. "Did you see any places that sell them? I want the flowy rayon ones with small prints, nothing garish or super tropical. Knee-length or a little shorter."

Kurt nodded. "I saw lots of dresses that fit that general description."

"I want to go too then."

"With the size of the city, I bet there's an outlet mall here. We could go there and Jillian could buy some of the things that she thinks she'll like and then if a few months from now, she decides they really aren't 'her', you won't have sunk a lot of money into a wardrobe that doesn't get worn." He winked at Jillian where no one else could see.

"That's sounds perfect. I accept," Jillian said quickly.

The four parents and Isabelle began discussing the issue.

Jillian mouthed "Thank you" to Kurt. He winked at her again.

They finished eating and a consensus was reached. Art and Antony were going to play chauffeur for a bit and use the SUV they had rented to take Isabelle, Victoria, and Alexis to the more touristy area where Kurt had seen dresses, and then drop Kurt, Sebastian, and Jillian off at the outlet mall. Afterwards, the two of them would head to Publix, grab everything on the shopping list for the week and pick Isabelle, Victoria, and Alexis back up on their way back, leaving the other three to take a taxi back while lunch was being made.

* * *

Jillian stood outside the salon, looking in the window. "Mom would hate it."

"It's your hair," Sebastian said.

"You're the one who has to mess with it," Kurt agreed. "We can get the address of the place that actually uses the hair to make wigs for people with alopecia and people going through chemotherapy."

She sighed. "It's such a hard thing to actually DO. I'm joining one of Aunt Nina's crews to learn to frame walls and hang drywall, paint, and whatever else I can manage to learn this fall. I don't want to have to wash my hair every day. It takes forever to dry. And I'll have to wear it in a braid everyday to keep it out of the way anyway." She took another deep breath. "I'm doing it. If it doesn't come out like I want, I can grow it out for a couple of months and have it cut slightly different in September before I start."

Sebastian pulled the door open and let Jillian and Kurt step inside. They sat down with her bags while she went back with a stylist. Early in their shopping expedition, she had put on one of the outfits she bought with the new burgundy Vans with gum colored soles she had chosen. She had bought several fitted men's button up short-sleeved shirts that looked good with the shoes along with several pairs of nearly knee-length slim-cut men's cargo and jeans shorts. She also bought some women's solid tees and short-sleeved henleys that looked good on their own or layered under the button ups. She had bought a second pair of Vans that were black canvas with the gum-colored soles. She even picked up pair of lavender Vans with white soles in Alexis' size and a pack of multi-colored marled no-show socks for her to wear with them.

Kurt looked through the bags and folded some of the items more neatly and put them back in. "She looks really good in all of this stuff."

"She does. I was right about her being a tomboy. She wants to dress the way you do a lot of the time."

"More androgynous?"

"I guess. But I don't see you as anything but a guy." He leaned closer. "A very hot guy, who likes to wear fantastically tight pants." He wiggled his eyebrows.

Kurt smiled. "I think she's completely fine with being a girl. I think she just doesn't enjoy overly feminine clothing. Just from the few hours I've spent with her, she seems to be very active, and the clothes that your aunt has been buying her make her feel like she has to be careful with them and she feels like she can't be herself in them. This more casual style seems to suit her."

"I think Alexis will freak when she sees that Jillian cut her hair."

"Well, hopefully she found dresses she likes and she'll keep her opinion to herself. Jillian got her a pair of useful shoes in her favorite color, so hopefully she's be somewhat nice about it."

They both picked up magazines with hairstyles in them and started looking through them. Jillian startled them when she said Sebastian's name. They both looked up. Her hair was just touching her shoulders in the front and the back was cut shorter, tapered from the back to the front.

"It looks amazing," Kurt said. "What do you think?"

"I love it. My head feels so light. I decided not to layer it since I still want to be able to pull it back easily. The stylist suggested a shampoo and a spray in conditioner I'm getting when I get up to the counter. She used it wash my hair after she cut the braid off." She had a gallon ziptop bag with a thick 18-inch braid in her hand. She leaned down and put it one of the shopping bags. "We can mail it like you said." She got in line to pay.

Sebastian called for a taxi, which arrived not long after they made it outside to the sidewalk.

* * *

When the three of them came in carrying everything, Victoria was the first to see them. "How did you buy so much on the budget I gave–" She stopped. She looked Jillian up and down. "You look really cute. I guess I could just never properly envision what you were trying to explain."

Jillian dropped her bags and hugged her mom. "You don' t hate it?"

"Jilly, honey. I love you. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I would be angry with you because you have different ideas than I do about what looks good. Plus, I was wrong. You look so relaxed. And happy."

Alexis came scurrying in. "You're finally back. Lunch is almost ready. Oh. My. God. You cut your hair."

"I did. And I brought you something."

"Really? What?"

She pulled out the shoes and socks and gave them to her. "You can't ride bikes and go exploring with me this week wearing those fancy sandals you brought."

She opened the box. "I didn't know they made these in lavender. Mostly just boys wear them."

"Well, they're comfortable and durable." She stuck her foot out for Alexis to see hers.

"Yours look like boy's shoes. These are girly." She took the box over to the couch and tried them on. She walked around a bit. "They fit. Do they look completely stupid with my new dress?"

Isabelle walked in. "I don't think so. I think they look like you're going on an adventure and you'd like to still have toes when you get back."

Alexis laughed. "I'm convinced. You're right about riding a bike in my dressy sandals. These will be a lot better. I like my dresses, but I'm not giving up an adventure."

Antony joined them. "Speaking of adventures, I had kept it a secret, but I booked an airboat tour for all of us tomorrow morning."

"Ooh, that's sounds fun," Sebastian said.

Antony noticed all of the bags. "Did you leave anything for anyone else, Jillian?"

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't go over budget, Dad. And I even bought Alexis new shoes and socks too."

He looked over at Alexis to see her shoes. "Good deal then," he said. He took in the change in Jillian's style. "You look good. I didn't expect the haircut, but it suits you."

She smiled.

"Lunch is actually done." Art said as he came into the living room. "We've got a bunch of grilled stuff and a big veggie tray and fruit salad. Neither one of us are great cooks, but we can wield a knife and run a grill."

They left the bags and headed into the dining room to eat.

* * *

Friday morning, Kurt and Sebastian woke up before everyone else. They packed up what they were taking back to New York with them and had their luggage ready to go. They left out one outfit to put on when they came back. They rode down to the beach for one last visit and to watch the sunrise again.

When they came back everyone was awake. Art, Antony, Jillian, and Alexis were in the pool and Victoria, Isabelle, and Nina were already dressed, sitting around in the chaises around the pool talking. Kurt and Sebastian went outside to go for one last swim.

"We decided to relax and go out for breakfast before we go on the airboat tour," Nina said, when the two of them came out into the lanai.

"Okay," Sebastian said. "Do we have time to swim?"

She looked at her phone. "Yeah. About 30 minutes before we need to leave."

They joined Jillian and Alexis in the pool.

"It sucks that you two are leaving when we've only been here like two days," Jillian said.

"Sebastian could stay, but I have to be back in New York tomorrow to go to work. My boss was nice enough to let me off the last week."

"But Aunt Izzie is your boss and she's here," Alexis said.

"I have a second job as a mechanic. I work Mondays, Fridays, and Saturdays there. And Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays for Isabelle."

"When do you have time to go to school?" Alexis asked.

"In the mornings."

"So you work full time?" Jillian asked.

"I do. I used to work even more hours than I do now. I'm just very organized."

"I'd say," Jillian remarked.

"This has been my first real vacation and I've enjoyed it. Sebastian anticipated that I would struggle with just relaxing and he planned the first few days to be very full and gradually worked us into just relaxing. Otherwise, I would have gone nuts." He smiled at Sebastian and winked.

"He's a fast learner," Sebastian teased.

"I'm going to swim a few laps before we have to get ready," Kurt said. He swam away towards the deep end.

Jillian stated resolutely, "You're in love with him."

"I am."

"No denying it or anything?"

"Nope."

Jillian looked him directly in the eye and stated firmly, "Well, I like him. Don't screw it up."

Sebastian retorted, "I'm hoping not to. I'm hoping it's permanent."

"Really? You like him that much?" Alexis asked.

"I do. He's amazing. I can't think of anything he can't do."

"Even stupidly hard physics?" she asked.

"That's my thing and it's not stupid. I mean real life stuff. He's just super creative and amazing."

"You're adorable like this, Sebby," Jillian teased.

He refrained from engaging her in an argument over the nickname that she knew he hated. "I know. I'm adorable all the time. Just ask Kurt," he sassed back instead.

"I had no idea that you could be a good boyfriend, but what I've seen so far in the last couple of days says that you can. And now you're leaving and taking my best shopping partner with you."

"What about Aunt Izzie? She's staying. Surely she's as good as Kurt."

"Maybe, but I doubt it. She's sweet, but he's funny."

"You know we have a spare room. You two could come stay with us."

"I hadn't actually considered that," she said. "I'm 18 now. Randy would go with me, I bet."

"Sure, especially if you come between now and the end of the summer. Where did he pick to go to college?"

"Yale."

"That's not that far. He could come in on the train and you could fly in for a long weekend during the school year too."

"I'll talk to him when we go back home. He went to Missouri with some friends of his – some resort place for the week."

Sebastian saw Kurt get out of the pool and start to dry off. "We better get inside and get ready."

Jillian grabbed Sebastian's hand under the water and let Alexis swim to the edge. "He's really cute. You did good, Sebastian. Mom and Dad like him too. So do your parents. I heard them talking earlier when they didn't think I was up yet."

Sebastian smiled and followed her out of the pool.

* * *

Kurt and Sebastian slipped their bags under the third row seat and climbed over. Alexis and Jillian got in from the front and they squished together for the ride to the airboat tour.

"Mantanzas Bay was super cool last night," Alexis said. "I hope this boat thing is really cool too."

"The fireworks being set to music was really cool," Kurt agreed. "I'd never seen a huge display like that."

Jillian said, "We usually just go to the ones in Columbus, but we went to Cleveland one year and that was fun. But we've never been to a big display like that either."

Alexis said, "Let's sing something. Just riding is boring."

Jillian said, "You start, then."

She balked. "I don't know."

"Last night with everything glowing out over the water made me think of this." Kurt took his phone out and pulled up a karaoke video. He showed it to Sebastian. "Do you know this?"

"I watched it about a dozen times with Alexis the summer I came back from Paris."

Alexis glared at him. "That was our secret."

"I'm not embarrassed. Are you? You and I have watched every Disney movie at least a dozen times. It's our thing. It always has been."

"Fine." She rolled her eyes. "Let's sing that one."

Kurt started out and the girls joined him.

_All those days watching from the window,  
All those years outside looking in,  
All that time never knowing,  
Just how blind I'd been.  
-_

Sebastian sang the second verse and Kurt joined in.

_All those days chasing down a daydream,  
All those years living in a blur,  
All that time never truly seeing,  
Things the way the were.  
-_

_All at once everything is different.  
Now that I see you._

As soon as it finished, Alexis said, "How can you sing as high as we can and sound good doing it? If Sebastian sings high with us, he sounds like Mickey Mouse."

"I'm a countertenor."

"I don't know what that means," Alexis said. "But I'm guessing it means that you can sing higher than most guys."

"Pretty much."

"But you can still sing guys songs."

"Right."

"That's cool. Sing something for us by yourself," she insisted.

"Like what?"

"Um, anything."

Kurt found pulled up the file of the orchestration of "Bring Him Home" and began to sing. Art pulled into a parking spot while he was still singing. When he finished, everyone in the car began to clap for him, except Sebastian, who at some point during the song, had taken Kurt's hand.

"That was… amazing," Jillian said. "No wonder you're studying to be a performer. I'd pay to watch you be in something."

"Thanks."

Everyone opened the doors and got out.

Sebastian leaned towards Kurt the instant the middle row seats were flattened for them to get out. Kurt looked towards him and raised his eyebrow. Sebastian kissed him quickly causing Kurt to chuckle. "You are amazing. That was beautiful, just like you." He kissed him again quickly and started to climb out before one of the girls came back for them.

Kurt climbed out after him and kissed him as he walked past, and then sped up to catch up to everyone. Sebastian came jogging up behind him and wrapped his arms around him from behind and kissed the back of his neck. They followed their guide out to the boat. After his quick speech on safety, they pulled away from the dock and started the tour.

While out on the boat, they spotted quite a few different types of birds, several alligators, and a manatee, all of which Sebastian managed to capture with his camera. Their tour guide took several pictures of them together on the boat using Sebastian's camera and Isabelle's phone.

They stopped for lunch on the way to the airport. When they got there, everyone got out and there were rounds of hugs before they grabbed their suitcases and headed inside. They checked their luggage in and found a quiet place to sit while they waited to board.

Sebastian put his arm around Kurt's shoulders. "I'm really glad you came."

"Me too. I had so much fun. I've never had that much fun. Your family was all so nice to me. It makes me wish they had come sooner or we could stay longer. I knew you said they'd accept me, but that's never been my experience before."

"Well, there's Christmas." He began to sing.

_I'm dreaming of a beach Christmas._

Kurt laughed. "Maybe."

Sebastian smiled. He could work with 'maybe'.


	33. Chapter 33

Kurt and Sebastian ordered dinner for carryout on their way down into the subway on the last leg of their trek from the airport and their apartment. They picked up their order and got home a little after 6:00.

Sebastian left his suitcase at the door and washed up and began to plate their dinner.

They had left the air-conditioning on low while they were gone and Kurt turned it up as soon as they came in. Since it was pretty stuffy, he stripped down to just his shorts while he emptied his luggage into the washer. He took his suitcase and put it under the bed. He left his shoes behind in the closet. He went out to grab Sebastian's suitcase and add his clothes to the load.

"You don't have to do that," Sebastian said, eyeing him up and down in just his shorts, struggling not to abandon his task and give into his urge to wrap his arms around Kurt and kiss him senseless.

"I know. But I want to. That smells so good. I'll be right back." He kissed Sebastian on the cheek as he walked past.

Sebastian smiled chuckled quietly. _I'm a lucky man._ He rinsed the containers and tossed them into the recycling and put their plates on the table.

Kurt came back in and washed up and sat down. He had his phone with him. He took a deep breath. "I'm turning this back on, even though I don't really want to. I only told my dad to call you. The shop could have called." He took a few bites before he brought himself to do it. "Hey, did you check your AP scores?"

"Oh! No, I didn't. I thought about it this morning, but then we got busy and went out on the airboat tour, which was so cool. It's weird that it was just this morning." He took his phone out and logged in to get his scores.

"It is. Here I go." He powered his phone back on and continued to eat while it restarted.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" He had a huge smile on his face. "I got all 5s."

"My boyfriend is so smart." Kurt winked at him.

"And I'm going to miss mine while he works all day tomorrow to make up some hours."

"I'll miss you too." He looked down at his phone. "Ugh. So many texts. I'm starting with…Marley?"

-You live here, right? Can I come to your place, please? And Unique too?

"Marley wants to bring Unique here."

"Why?"

"I don't know yet."

"Sure, I guess. They're your friends, right?"

"Well, I don't really know either one of them that well, but neither has ever done anything to mean to me."

"Yeah. Give them the address."

-Why do you need somewhere to go?

-Oh, never mind my texts from yesterday. I should have sent another one. We went to Santana's. That's where we're staying now.

-When is your flight back?

-Not until Sunday after lunch.

-Okay. I have to work all day tomorrow, but I'll talk to Santana and have her bring you two over here for dinner tomorrow evening.

-That sounds great. I'll see you then. I have to go. Our pizza's here.

He put his phone back down. "It turns out they went home with Santana last night. I invited them over for dinner tomorrow. I'll see if they want to stay here instead since we actually have room for them."

"That's fine. Mr. Softie." He winked at Kurt.

"Pot calling the kettle black."

Sebastian laughed. "I am not a softie."

"Ha!" Kurt retorted. "You let me live here without paying rent."

"You needed a place to go and I had one." He winked at Kurt.

"Mmm hmm. But lots of people have places sitting empty that they don't let people live in for free."

"It wasn't entirely altruistic though." He tried to hide the grin on his face.

"Is that so?"

He nodded. "I may have had ulterior motives."

"Only maybe?" Kurt got up and walked around the table and sat in Sebastian's lap, wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck, and kissed him.

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt.

"You lured me into your web and caught me in your trap of kindness." _Kiss_. "And generosity." _Kiss._ "And sweetness." _Kiss._ "And friendship." _Kiss._ "And love." He pressed in and kissed Sebastian until they were breathless.

When they pulled apart to catch their breath, Sebastian said, "I'll only confess to one or two of those. The rest are our secret."

Kurt pecked him on the lips. "I'm afraid you already showed your soft underbelly to Santana."

"Damn," he said in a mock-aggravated tone. He sighed. "You're rubbing off on me."

"Not yet, but in time…"

Sebastian cracked up. He reached up and wrapped his hand behind Kurt's neck and pulled him down for another searing kiss. "I love you," he said right before he kissed him.

When they broke apart again, Kurt hummed. "Mmm. You're a good kisser."

"Good to know," he teased.

Kurt ran his hand through Sebastian's hair and kissed him on the forehead. "I love you too." He went back to his own seat and began to eat. He opened his text messages again, looking through the list to read Santana's next. There were 12 in a row from the day before.

-I'm laughing so hard. OMG. She's ridiculous.

-You must have your phone off. Good for you.

-I didn't know that Isabelle was Sebastian's aunt. OMG, this is great.

-Apparently, you're sleeping your way to the top at Vogue.

-I just saw several of the younger kids look up the word nepotism.

-She asked me if knew. I said no – which is true. I didn't know that Sebastian was Isabelle's nephew. Obviously that's not what she was really asking.

-Blaine looks like he swallowed turpentine. This is 11/10 fun. And here I thought I was going to hate this party.

-Kudos on being smart enough to stay far away.

-You better bring me something from Florida for not telling her the whole truth.

-You have no idea how much Snixx wants to cause her to go apoplectic by telling her the truth.

-You owe me a homemade dinner too. With something chocolate for dessert.

-Oh and I scored the two tickets you asked for. Text me back when you turn your phone on so I know what time dinner is being served. I'll bring your tickets then.

Kurt laughed and turned went back up to the top and turned the phone around to let Sebastian read the texts.

Sebastian's facial expression was hard for Kurt to read. He looked upset, but relieved.

"What's the look on your face? It's not one I've seen before." He reached out and put his hand on top of Sebastian's.

"Your friends hate me, but you laughed, so I'm not sure what to make of that."

"I laughed because they're ridiculous. Think about it, Bas. Rachel is trashing me and our relationship, all while having absolutely no idea that you're my boyfriend. Don't you see how utterly absurd the whole thing is? I'm a slut who's sleeping my way to the top. She is Team Blaine. The role of Rachel's 'best gay' is wide open, except that Blaine won't be here to take his rightful place at her side like she's been planning since Blaine's father is paying for him to go to Oberlin instead of coming here to NYADA. She's mad. I'm sure he's livid. He can't ride on her coat tails and possibly get a role on Broadway if he's in Ohio. I could be dating anyone and this would be the outcome. I'm supposed to be penitent and celibate until Blaine can convince his dad to let him come to New York. I'm supposed to be 'saving myself' for him. I'm his. In her eyes, it doesn't matter who you are. That's why this all such nonsense. She's never going to give anyone a chance. Adam and I weren't dating, but we could have been, meaning that there was nothing preventing us from it. We were both single. And it was just so weird because not long after I met Adam, she was all 'Being in love in New York is great. Go for it, Kurt. Live your life. Find someone new." But then, when she found out that Brody was an escort, she changed her tune. She lost her new man, so I guess I didn't deserve one either? I don't even know, like, at all. And then I was such an idiot at the wedding-that-wasn't. Maybe that was it. Maybe my stupidity made her think that I was still in love with Blaine. I don't know. I guess I need to talk to her. What a mess!"

The buzzer on the washer went off. Sebastian started to get up.

"I'll get it when I finish," Kurt said. "I can't talk to Rachel before opening night on Sunday. It doesn't matter how annoyed I am with her, I'm not going to do anything to throw her off her game on opening night. Monday. Just plan for Monday evening. Either I'll go to her place or invite her here." Kurt went back to eating and looking through his texts.

"If you don't want her showing up here unannounced, you might want to go there. I'll grab the laundry since I'm done." He put his plate in the dishwasher and went to work on the laundry. "You still have a lot of texts to look through probably."

He tossed the stuff that could be dried into the dryer. "Did you invite Sam for dinner and to stay the night too? I'm assuming you're going to have him sleep on the sofa."

"I didn't, but I could. It's comfortable. I slept on it when my parents were here for my birthday."

"You could have slept in my bed or let them sleep in there and slept in your own bed."

"I didn't want to presume and they showed up as a surprise." He looked back at his phone and opened Tina's text, knowing that he would delete it.

-Way to stay classy. Revenge sex. I didn't think you were the type.

"Tina thinks we're having 'revenge sex'."

Sebastian popped around the closet and looked at Kurt. "What?"

Kurt laughed. "She thinks I'm sleeping my way to the top at _Vogue_ as revenge on Blaine for cheating on me."

"I must have missed the headlines of how the earth quit orbiting the sun while we were lounging around in Florida."

Kurt broke out laughing. "That's good one. I may steal it at some point in the next few days."

"Be my guest."

Kurt finished eating and helped Sebastian with the laundry. "We need to make our shopping list. We'll need extras for dinner tomorrow evening. I think maybe we need to consider get a set of sturdy folding chairs."

"That's a good idea. We can look online and figure out where to get them from and I'll get them tomorrow. We can hang them behind the clothes in the closet in the spare room to keep them out of the way. We'll just have to get some hooks and install them. I can do that tomorrow too."

Kurt turned and kissed him. "Thank you."

"Sure. When we finish this, let's shower early and snuggle. I know you have to get up early."

"Sounds perfect. I'll go through the rest of my texts and messages while you're in the shower."

* * *

Kurt crawled across the ottoman and climbed into the corner and curled up in Sebastian's arms when he came back from showering.

"Were there a lot of bad ones?"

"Not really. Mercedes is still here in town and wants to see me. Tina's wasn't polite, but I didn't expect it to be. She's been in love with Blaine for quite a while, so since she's so head-over-heels for him, she can't see why I would ever let him go. She chewed me out at the wedding back in February."

"She knows he's gay, right?"

"She does, but that hasn't stopped her from wishing that he's secretly bi. If he were, Tina wouldn't have had a chance anyway. She was dating Mike when Blaine and Rachel made out at her party. If Blaine had been bi, I'm pretty sure that they'd still be dating. He was manly. She saw him as leading man material, but never me. Anyway, the texts. Artie – not supportive. Tina – obviously not supportive. Santana expects a homemade meal for keeping her mouth shut. You saw that."

"Stop for a minute. I want to make sure that you know that Rachel is wrong. You are leading man material. You might have to dress differently than you normally do and you might have to act very un-Kurt-like to do it. But that's just it. You don't want to get up on the stage and be yourself. You want to be an actor."

Kurt took a deep breath. "Deep down I know that, but having never lived it yet makes it harder to believe." He picked Sebastian's hand up and started tracing patterns on his palm. "Mercedes just asked if I wanted to meet up. She didn't say anything else, so I don't know where she stands. I wasn't really close enough to anyone else for them to feel the need to text me about their opinion. Puck, Mike, and the new members from this year – none of them texted me. Oh, and Brittany wants to meet up."

"Okay."

"Let's see. They're all going sightseeing tomorrow. Marley and Unique would like to spend the night tomorrow. I didn't end up asking Sam. I figured that two extra people here would be enough. We can invite him over once he moves here."

"Okay."

"Maybe we could invite Mercedes and Brittany to the flea market with us. That way I can spend a little time with each of them without it being super awkward by having Sam, Brittany, Santana, and Mercedes together here in the apartment."

"Sure. I don't know why it would be awkward, but we can do whatever you think will work."

"Awkward means Sam dated Mercedes first, then Santana, and then most recently Brittany. They broke up at spring break when she left for MIT. And Santana and Brittany dated until last October when Santana broke up with Brittany because she felt that she couldn't be a good long-distance girlfriend to Brittany."

"Awkward doesn't even begin to cover that."

"I don't know why no one ever dated anyone outside the Glee Club." Kurt chuckled. "Five more minutes of snuggles, and then I'll grab my phone and send the texts so we can get in bed and snuggle."

Sebastian kissed him.

* * *

The next morning, Sebastian pushed Kurt against the wall near the door, leaning into him kissing him passionately. They broke for air. "You're nearly as tall as me those 'fuck me' boots. So hot."

"You like me in my steel-toed work boots?" Kurt took the opportunity to flip their positions and started kissing down Sebastian's neck. "I really have to go. I can't be late."

Sebastian whimpered and tried to catch his breath. "Yes, I like you in your work boots and the loose-by-your-standards jeans and your hair not fixed. And I like you in your swim trunks and your tight-as-fuck pants. I'm 100% certain that I'm going to love your birthday suit." He flipped them again and started kissing Kurt.

"Bas, sweetie," Kurt said as he pushed Sebastian back just enough to look into his eyes. "I'm not going to the moon. I'm just going to work. I'll be back around 4:30."

Sebastian took a deep breath. "I know. I'm going to go through withdrawal," he teased. He kissed him once more. "I love you."

Kurt squeezed him. "I love you too." Kurt pulled the door open and hurried down the stairs.

Sebastian put his pent up energy into cleaning the apartment. He was ready to do their shopping by the time the grocery store opened. He brought back everything that they would need for dinner and breakfast the next morning. He followed Kurt's recipes and made a loaf of banana nut bread and a second loaf of apple cinnamon bread. He prepped everything he could for dinner before heading back out to buy the silver chairs he had found online. He took a taxi back to the apartment. When he stepped inside, he washed his hands and pre-heated the oven.

He pulled the drop-leaf sides up, wiped the table and the new chairs down. He pulled the table out into the space they usually left open and put the chairs around it. The oven beeped, indicating that it was preheated, so he put the pans of lasagna in to bake.

Kurt came in just as he was closing the oven door. Sebastian stepped closer and pecked him on the lips, knowing that Kurt's immediate goal was the shower.

"It looks amazing in here. Thank you, sweetie. I didn't mean for you to have to be the one to meet Santana's demands for a home-cooked meal."

"It's fine, babe. You had to work. I can cook. I'm not the least bit upset."

Kurt took a few steps in and looked at the chairs. "Oh, wow. Those are amazing. Where did you find chrome chairs? They're not folding chairs though."

"I know. All I could find were grayish-silver, not anything like what I was looking for, but I found these and I thought they would look really good and they're actually comfortable to sit in, unlike folding chairs. They stack, so we can just hang something short above them in the closet if we have to. Plus, the majority of the time that anyone would need to put more clothes in that closet would be when we have people over and we'd be using the extra chairs."

"Good thinking."

"Plus, we can use them for extra seating in the living room if we ever have a larger group of people over since they're comfortable. I'll work on the salad while you're in the shower."

Kurt stepped close enough to kiss him, but not touch. "You're amazing. Thank you."

* * *

Dani, Santana, Marley, and Unique showed up about 10 minutes after Kurt had gotten out of the shower. He had just barely had time to get dressed and blow his hair dry and style it. He opened the door and let them in, hugging each one as they walked past.

"It smells fantastic in here," Dani said.

"It really does," Marley agreed.

"Well, it will be done in about 10 minutes, which gives us just enough time to let you get your stuff settled in the guest room."

Sebastian came out of their room right as Marley made it around the end of the kitchen wall. "Hey." He pointed to the other bedroom. "You two ladies can sleep in here. There's some room in the closet if you need to hang anything up for tomorrow. Otherwise, you can just put your suitcases in there for now." He walked out of the alcove and back into the kitchen where Santana and Dani had sat down on the side of the table closest to the wall.

Kurt followed Unique and Marley in.

"You're dating Sebastian?" Unique asked very quietly, obviously confused.

"I am. He's sweet, loving, and kind. I know you've probably heard stories otherwise, but he apologized for all of the nonsense over a year ago and he's walked the talk ever since then. He welcomed the two of you without qualms. Please be kind. Judge for yourselves what kind of man he is. Don't base your view of him on information that's a year and a half old and told by a potentially unreliable source."

Unique raised her eyebrow. "You do have a point."

"We'll judge for ourselves," Marley agreed. She followed Kurt back out in the living room. "I like this place. It's not big, but it feels comfortable and cozy."

Unique was right behind her. "I like the vintage vibe. Clean lines, but with personality."

Sebastian said, "Dinner's just about done."

They sat down to salad, traditional lasagna, and a white vegetarian lasagna.

After dinner, Santana and Dani took their dessert with them because they were too full to eat it. Santana hugged Sebastian on the way out. She spoke quietly where no one else could hear her. "You're a good guy and a good cook. I know Kurt worked late. You're a keeper."

He chuckled and closed the door. He put the leftovers in the fridge while Kurt loaded the dishwasher. Once everything was put away, they put in a movie and relaxed before they ate the chocolate pie that Sebastian had made that morning.

* * *

Sunday morning, they ate the banana and cinnamon bread and drank milk and coffee with Mercedes and Brittany before heading out to the flea market. Unique and Marley stayed close together on the subway. Mercedes pulled Kurt away from the others and Brittany did the same with Sebastian.

"Why are you dating Sebastian?" Mercedes started off with a very interrogational, confrontational tone.

"Because I love him."

"Love him? It's been what? Four months since Blaine proposed to you?"

"Yes. But I wasn't in love with Blaine then. I haven’t been in love with him since last November."

"That's not how it looked at Mr. Schue's bomb of a wedding."

"I realize that, but I'm telling you the truth."

"So you and Blaine are over for good?"

"Permanently. Once I finally had some support and got some counseling, I was able to stick to my guns. He cheated on me. I deserve better than that. I deserve a boyfriend who won't have sex with someone else when I've been gone two weeks."

"Say what now?" She lowered her voice. "Sex?"

"Yes. And then blamed me and said it was because I wasn't around when he needed me. I'm not his personal dildo, and he knew I was going to be in New York, so he should have planned appropriately." He tipped his head and raised an eyebrow. "He had a ticket and changed it to fly in two weeks early. Why not just come to me for what he couldn't seem to live without instead of going to a random?"

"I didn't know. No one told me. You didn't tell me."

"I didn't tell anyone. I accepted the blame. I was ashamed. I wasn't enough. I was never enough, but it's not like that with Sebastian. He loves me and I love him."

"Alright. Alright. Don't be keeping secrets like you did. I would have never backed his proposal idea if I had know he had slept with someone else." She pulled him into a hug.

While Kurt and Mercedes were talking, Brittany was talking to Sebastian.

"You know, Kurt was the sweetest boy I ever dated, even though it was for just like three days. Santana pulled me aside at Rachel's party and told me what Blaine Warbler had done. I didn't know until then. You better not hurt Kurt like he did. You weren't a nice person, but Santana used to be a lot more mean too. She said you changed. I hope so because Kurt deserves a good boyfriend this time, not a cheater."

"I agree, Brittany. I completely agree." He looked over to where Kurt and Mercedes were talking.

"You love him."

"I do."

"Good. Why are there markets for fleas in New York City and why are we going to one? I used to take Lord Tubbington to the vet for flea baths. I don't want any fleas. Do they sell other stuff like ticks and roaches? I don't want any of those either, but I just wondered."

Sebastian smiled and answered her kindly. "I'm honestly not sure how the name came into being, but a flea market is just like a giant yard sale, but it's in the street and they block the streets off so no cars can drive down them during the sale."

"Well, that makes sense about having the yard sale in the street because I haven't seen any yards here at all."

"Very true. I think you'll like it there. Kurt loves it."

"And you love it because he does?"

He was struggling to keep up with how intuitive she was, yet how she asked the most basic questions. "That's true, but I also like it just because it's fun."

"Did you really live in Paris?"

"I did."

"We went there the summer after sophomore year. I got lost in the sewers. It was really creepy."

"In the catacombs?"

"Yeah. Except I always forget that word. I liked the really amazing churches and museums."

"Me too." Sebastian saw Kurt moving towards the door and he took Brittany's hand and pulled her gently towards the same door.

Marley and Unique saw them and followed them.

No one left the flea market empty-handed.

* * *

Later that evening, Kurt and Sebastian dressed up to attend the _Funny Girl_ opening. They met up with Dani, Santana, and Isabelle to have dinner before Santana and Isabelle needed to be at the theater for the red carpet entrance. Dani talked the two of them into letting her take a few photos of them dressed up in their suits before they went to the theater. They weren't that hard to convince. She took several and they said their goodbyes.

Kurt and Sebastian went inside the theater, found their seats, and sat down.

"Are you okay?" Sebastian asked.

"Not really, but a promise is a promise. And nothing is hurt but my pride. I'll live."

Sebastian reached over to take Kurt's hand. He adjusted the small bouquet he had in his hands so that he could hold Sebastian's hand.

"I told you about beating her at Midnight Madness."

"Yeah."

"Well, afterwards, she was devastated. She was moping through the halls near where I was standing, talking to Adam about something. I went over to talk to her, to try to encourage her to audition for Fanny. Her response was, direct quote, 'You should try out, Kurt. You'd be an amazing Fanny Brice."

"What the hell?"

"Exactly. I know I sing a lot of songs traditionally sung by women, but I am a guy. I am not interested in playing a woman in a production. Anyway, she knows just how to hurt me. I'm not here to cause trouble. I'm here to keep my word."

Sebastian squeezed his hand once more. They sat in silence waiting for the show to start. Once it finished, they met up with Santana. Sebastian stayed behind while Kurt went with Santana backstage.

Santana knocked on Rachel's door and waited just a few seconds and opened it. "Rachel?"

"Yeah, what? Is Sidney looking for me already?"

"No. Can I come in?"

"I guess."

She stepped inside and Kurt followed her.

"Kurt," Rachel said flatly.

"I promised to be at your opening on Broadway years ago. And I keep my promises. These are for you." He stepped forward enough to hand her the flowers and stepped back again. "You were fantastic, Rachel. Really amazing. I won't keep you. I know people are waiting to see you. We do need to talk, though. So, unless you have pressing plans tomorrow evening, I'd like to bring dinner to your place when I get off from work."

She nodded. "Alright."

"I'll see you then." He turned and walked away. He managed to make it down the stairs before he started to cry. He wiped the few tears that had escaped and made his way back to where Sebastian was waiting.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted Friday's chapter (33) and a bonus weekend chapter (34). If you haven't read about Rachel's opening night, you skipped chapter 33.
> 
> This chapter contains some elements of "Bash" mixed with some elements of "Opening Night". Trigger warning for a fight scene involving homophobic language and some minor injuries. Also, Finn's death is mentioned briefly.

Monday morning, Kurt left for NYADA a little earlier than usual since he had a garment bag of pieces he had made with him to show to the professor. She would be deciding who worked on which pieces based on their previous work. He made it to class 15 minutes early as she had requested. She came in right as he finished hanging his pieces on the rack that was on the far side of the room. She took each piece down and laid it on a table and examined it thoroughly. Kurt re-hung each piece as she finished.

After the last piece, she finally spoke. "You are quite talented and skilled, Kurt. I thank you for bringing these in. As you know, this course is divided based on skill level. You will receive credit for Advanced Costume Design and a pass for Intermediate Costume Design with the credits if you finish with a B or higher.

Kurt smiled and thanked her. He got all of his pieces repacked neatly into the garment bag, left it handing on the rack, and took a seat in a nearby chair to wait class to start.

As soon as class ended, the room was nearly buzzing. He looked curiously at the only other person in the room that didn't seem to know what was going on.

One of the girls sitting near him showed him her phone with one of the NYADA chat rooms open on the screen.

Rachel Berry quits NYADA – the thread title read. He continued to read. "A source overheard Miss Berry tell Madame Tibideaux that now that she has gotten the role of Fanny Brice, she doesn't need NYADA. She left the Dean's office, clearly agitated. A second source confirmed her withdrawal."

 _Well, that adds another thing on the list to talk to Rachel about this evening_. Kurt grabbed his garment bag and headed home to drop his stuff off and change for work. He didn't have time to sit around and participate in the gossip.

* * *

That evening, Kurt knocked on Rachel's door and waited for her to answer. When she opened the door, he stepped inside without waiting to be invited in.

She shut the door and turned to face him. "Did you just come from an audition for _Grease_ or something? What's with the butch look?"

He looked down stained jeans, a solid black t-shirt, and steel-toed black work boots. "I just came from work like I told you I was going to. I work in a shop as a mechanic now. But never mind how I'm dressed. I know what you did."

"Oh, my God. Are you serious? You really already heard about that?"

"Seriously? The gossip chain at NYADA is the most efficient part of the school."

"Okay, look. Don't judge me. It was the right thing to do."

"How can you say that? Two years ago, you would have done anything humanly possible to force your way into that school. And now you're just going to quit?"

"Oh, my God, that was before Fanny, okay? Everything changed from that moment on."

"I'll say. You went full-on crazy-level diva. That's what happened. An education from NYADA will give you options in the future. Broadway is a fickle business."

"Really? Wow. Is that what's inspiring you to sleep your way to the top at _Vogue_?"

Kurt didn't take her bait. "I'm just saying that you need to be smart about this."

"Okay, look, Kurt, I'm just not interested in spending huge sums of money on a school whose classes I can barely even attend and a dean who doesn't like or support me."

"Really? Doesn't support you? Who chose you when you choked your audition? Who chose you to perform in the Winter Showcase?"

"Whatever, Kurt. I have the opportunity of a lifetime right now and I can't let anything get in the way of that whether it's school or Carmen or anyone from stopping me from accomplishing my dreams."

"For the last time, Rachel, I'm begging your. Please don't do this."

"I can't believe you are on Carmen's side."

"I'm on your side."

"No, you're afraid, okay. You're afraid to venture out. You need a place like NYADA, where it's one big, safe group and no one takes any risks. That way you all can avoid the fact of actually having to grow up and be an adult."

"Screw you, Rachel."

"Wow."

There was a knock at the door. Rachel looked confused.

"That will be our other dinner guests and our dinner."

Rachel rolled her eyes and went to open the door to find Santana and Sebastian standing there holding bags of take-out.

"Are you going to invite us in or not?" Santana snarked.

"Fine. Whatever."

"Well, I can see that this is going swimmingly."

"Why is Sebastian with you, Santana?" Rachel asked, clearly confused.

Kurt responded. "Rachel, I told you earlier when I texted you that I was bringing my boyfriend. I guess he somehow picked up an added guest on the way over."

"She was at our place, babe. She invited herself."

"I'm sure she did. Good evening, Santana."

She rolled her eyes and followed Sebastian into Rachel's kitchen and starting pulling the food out of the bags.

Rachel turned, but still hadn't said anything else.

"Close your mouth or you catch flies," Santana said.

Rachel reengaged. "You're dating Sebastian Smythe?"

"I am."

"Santana and Sebastian are friends?"

"Yeah," Sebastian said.

"How is that possible?" she asked.

Santana snarked back. "We bonded over being jackasses in high school who've turned from our villainous, vile ways and grown up."

"But he nearly blinded Blaine–"

Kurt interrupted her. "He threw a slushie at me that had been tainted with rock salt to permanently damage my outfit. The trajectory of the liquid would have hit my midsection, ruining my entire outfit, whereas hitting me in the face would have likely resulted in me jumping back and just barely getting my shirt. Sebastian was the lacrosse captain at Dalton. He's aim is pretty spot-on. If he had wanted to hit me in the face, he would have."

"Thanks, babe." He smiled and winked at Kurt.

Kurt laughed. "You're welcome." He turned back to Rachel. "Blaine dove into the slushie. Rookie move."

"It was gallant," Rachel insisted.

Santana said, "It was attention-seeking. He gave the Warblers our set list. We were pissed. Puck called him a traitor. He set the Jackson-off up. For all we know, the whole thing was a set up. How did Sebastian even know to throw slushies as a form of humiliation? You know that prep schools don't allow that kind of crap. And do they even have slushie machines in France where he went to school before Dalton?"

Sebastian chuckled. "The answer to that is no – no slushie machine in my school in Paris."

Kurt chimed in. "He knew because Blaine had bragged to him about having been at McKinley for six months without getting slushied."

Sebastian continued, "I asked him to explain himself. And in my childishness I procured one on the way to the Jackson-off and added some rock salt I had swiped out of the bag sitting by the stairs outside Dalton using a paper coffee cup and lid I had grabbed at dinner."

"Are you really Isabelle's nephew?"

"Yes, and no. I looked this up recently to get the exact right relationship name. Isabelle is my first cousin once removed. She is my dad's first cousin. She has a brother, Benjamin, who is also my first cousin once removed, but I call him Uncle Benjamin. My dad, his sister Victoria, Benjamin, and Isabelle are close in age. And other than my mom, they and their spouses all went to school together growing up. My family is very close. I call Uncle Benjamin's sons and Aunt Victoria's daughters my cousins."

"He has always called her 'Aunt Izzie', his whole life," Kurt added. "So, functionally, yes, she is his aunt. I do remember telling you that Isabelle is from Columbus."

"I remember. You said she got food poisoning at Breadstix." She sat down in front of the Szechuan seitan Kurt had requested for her. She took a bite. "This is good."

The others began to eat as well.

"I still can't believe you're dating him." Rachel glared at Sebastian. "He tried to blackmail Finn."

"You snuck into the Vocal Adrenaline rehearsal to spy on them," Kurt said. "Which turned out to be a lot of fun because we did 'Bad Romance' because of it."

Santana raised an eyebrow at him. "You in those 10-inch heels was hot. I'll give you that."

Sebastian looked at him inquisitively, but let it drop to keep the conversation on point.

"I spied on the Warblers."

"Surprisingly, I'm the only one sitting here that didn't break any show choir rules," Santana pursed her lips and waggled her eyebrows and went back to eating.

Kurt said, "I'm pretty sure that if we're ranking our high school show choir transgressions, yours is at the top, Rachel. You sent Sunshine to an old crack house."

Sebastian's eyes grew big, but he kept quiet and continued to eat.

"That was forever ago. I apologized."

"You were 17, Rachel. So was Sebastian when he did those things. And Sebastian apologized to all of us, and not eight or nine months later. It was just a few weeks afterwards." Kurt pointed out. "He apologized and offered no excuses for his bad behavior" He turned to Sebastian. "Where did you get a picture of a mostly naked Finn anyway?"

"Online. He was in white boxers."

Kurt just shook his head. "He had to have taken a photo of himself before he went walking through the hallways in his _Rocky Horror_ costume."

Santana burst out laughing. "Oh, my God. That's hysterical."

Sebastian refrained from saying anything, but couldn't keep the confused smile off of his face. "I didn't actually have any other photos of him. I would have had to Photoshop pictures of his face onto other guys' bodies to get other poses. It was stupid. That was the worst part of the most frustrating year of my life, but that doesn't excuse my behavior."

Santana spoke next. "Look, Rachel. I get that you're having the time of your life lording how you're the lead and I'm the understudy. Tell it to whoever you want that will actually listen to you, but I'm telling you one last time with two witnesses here to hear it. If you keep your uppity attitude going during this production and don't get your inner diva under control, this will be your debut and swan song. I'm not out to do anything to make you lose your lead. It's actually a hell of a lot easier on me if _you_ get out on stage every night and do the performing. I'm still working a day job. I'm saving up. I need money in my bank account for when I'm not your understudy anymore. For when all I have is my day job because I'm not performing anywhere and I still have to pay a ridiculous amount of rent in this city. I'm taking dance lessons and voice lessons to improve myself. I'm here to make it big. And being an understudy on Broadway is making it big. Maybe not as big as you made it, but it's pretty damn high up there. So, you can take this for what it is. This is my last olive branch. You can take it and we can try to be cordial. Or you can keep up your end a feud that I refuse to participate in. I'm building bridges for my future, not burning them as I walk across."

They finished eating in silence. Kurt walked Santana and Sebastian to the door. He stepped out and hugged them both. He took a deep breath and stepped back inside.

Rachel was rinsing the containers and stacking them to put in the recycling. "Do you want to sit in the living room? It's more comfortable."

"This isn't a comfortable conversation, Rachel." He sat back down at the table. "You are a meddling harpy, who, despite nearly yelling at me about how I'm being safe and not venturing out to be an adult by staying in college, hasn't matured at all. Sure, you're living here in Soho, in your own place that I assume you're paying for on your own now, but you are still acting like a high school student."

"I _am_ paying for this place."

He nodded. "But you had the Glee Club, old and new, here and found it appropriate to discuss my relationship around people who don't even know me when you didn't know anything about it to start with. You invited me to a party. I turned you invitation down. I had my reasons, which I was not required to share. The people here all knew Blaine. Other than Marley, Kitty, and I guess Unique – they all took Blaine's side. I'm not surprised. Blaine comes across as a good guy. They know him and they don't know me. But that was no reason for you to act like I was breaking Blaine's heart by not showing up to sing songs you had assigned us to sing together at a party I had told you weeks ago that I wouldn't be at."

"You and Blaine are soulmates."

"Rachel, stop. What is going on? Back eight months ago, when I first met Adam, you were very supportive. You were all, 'We're young and in New York. We should spread our wings and fly. Find new love, and so on.' I know those weren't your exact words. But then you did a 180 on me. I understand Mercedes and Santana being supportive of the engagement extravaganza. They didn't know that Blaine had slept with someone else, but you did. And you've been giving me the cold shoulder ever since I turned him down."

"Back at the wedding, it seemed like everything had righted itself. I spent time with Finn and you hooked up with Blaine. I just felt this pull. Finn and I would be together eventually. He said so at the reception. He told me 'You and I are endgame, Rachel.' And then… And then only you could have the 'happily ever after'."

"Blaine is not the right person for me. I need someone who can be faithful."

She snorted. "So you chose a manwhore to shack up with?"

"That was uncalled for. He is not a manwhore. I love him. Stop harassing me about Blaine. He and are not getting back together. When you can start behaving like an adult, let me know. Until then, we are obviously at an impasse." He got up and let himself out.

* * *

Kurt walked out Rachel's building toward the subway. About a block and half into his walk, he heard muffled screams and people yelling. The words "useless fag" stuck out. He hurried towards the alley between the building he was in front of and the next building. He saw two men beating the daylights out of a guy.

Kurt ran towards them and used a jump front kick, landing the kick to the shoulder of the assailant who had been punching the victim, knocking him to the ground. He moved around the side quickly and did a spinning hook kick, colliding with the other assailant's shoulder causing him to lose his grip on the victim and knock him off balance. The victim collapsed.

Once the victim wasn't standing directly in front of the man who had been holding him, the assailant grabbed for Kurt, who quickly used a sun mok sool move and quickly leaned into him pushing him back. Kurt used his leverage and flipped him over, causing the assailant to land on his back, which knocked the wind out of him.

Kurt quickly followed by pressing his heaving work boot into the man's chest. "Try me again and I won't spare you from the beating that I can deal out wearing steel toed boots."

"You're one of them fags too," the main spit back. And tried to push Kurt's boot off his chest.

The first assailant managed to regain his footing and punched Kurt in the middle of the back and grabbed his arm and tried to twist it up behind his back. Kurt quickly got free, and regained his balance and kicked the man in the groin, causing him to fall to his knees next to the assailant on the ground. Kurt aimed a low shoving kick to his chest, knocking him onto his side on top of the other assailant.

Kurt hurried to the victim. He had a bloody nose and two shiners already. He was holding his left arm.

"Can you get up?" Kurt helped him to standing.

The man had a serious limp that he probably shouldn't have been walking on, but Kurt did his best to help him to the edge of the alley and across sidewalk. He hailed a cab and they got in. He asked the driver to take them to the closest hospital.

"I'm Mitchell. Thanks for what you did back there."

"You're welcome. Do you have a phone?"

"Yeah."

"Use it to call 911. Get the police and an ambulance there."

"Okay." He tipped his head up. He held his phone up so he could dial.

"Don't do that. Pinch the bridge of your nose and keep your head level."

He did as he was told.

Once Kurt sat down and calmed down some, he realized that his hand and head were hurting a lot. He thought back through what happened and realized that at some point he had been punched in the side of the face. He reached up and wiped some blood off with his hand.

The cab driver handed some napkins over his shoulder, holding them by the corner, avoiding being touched.

Kurt grabbed the, corner and folded one up and pressed it to his temple and handed the rest to Mitchell to hold against his nose. "Thanks."

The cabbie just nodded and kept driving.

As soon as they stopped, Kurt got out, paid the driver, and helped Mitchell into the ER. He signed himself in and found the bathroom and cleaned himself up a bit before he sat down in the waiting room. He called Sebastian while he was in the bathroom.

"Hey, babe. Where are you? We've been waiting for you to get here to start the movie."

Kurt took a deep breath. "I'm at Mount Sinai West."

"Why are you at the hospital? Are you okay?"

"If I had to place bets, I'd bet on a broken finger, a slight concussion, and I might need a stitch or two on my left temple."

Sebastian jumped up and headed for the door. "I'll be there as soon as I can. I love you."

"I love you too. I'll probably be taken back by the time you get here. I'll tell them you're coming."

Santana followed him out the door and down the stairs. "Do you want me to come?"

"I don't think they'll keep him. He's a little banged up, but I think they'll release him from his description."

"I'll stay here at home. If he's a mess and just good at hiding it on the phone, call me."

"I will," he said as he jumped into the cab that he had waived down. He fretted as he rode the 15 minutes to the hospital. _How did he get hurt?_ He put his head down on his hands, propping them on his knees. As soon as the taxi pulled up to the ER entrance, Sebastian hopped out, handed the driver some cash, and ran into the building. He stopped at the desk. "I'm here to see Kurt Hummel."

She looked through her list. "And you are?"

"Sebastian Smythe."

"Right this way. Your brother's back in x-ray. You can wait for him in the triage cubicle."

 _My brother? Was Kurt having memory issues? What is going on?_ He followed her, saying nothing. He took a seat in the only chair in the tiny area and waited for what close to an hour. He looked up the instant someone moved the curtain.

"Bas!"

Sebastian wanted to get up and hug him, but he was concerned he'd hurt him. Once the orderly left, Sebastian got up and stood at Kurt's side. He spoke very quietly. "Are you okay? You told them I was your brother."

Kurt pulled him closer. "I was afraid they wouldn't let you back if I told them you were my boyfriend."

"Oh. I hadn't considered that." He smiled. "So, how long until we find out whether anything is broken?"

"I'm not sure."

"I see they bandaged your temple up. No stitches, just those butterfly bandages."

Just then a doctor came in. "I'm Dr. Moros." He gave Kurt a full examination, which included Kurt answering quite a few questions and a thorough physical examination. "Well, Mr. Hummel, you have a minor concussion and the obvious bruising that's already starting to form on your back and your left temple, as well as your hand. I'm going to send the nurse in with some ice for your hand while we wait for the radiologist to read your x-ray. If x-ray shows any concerns, we'll either splint your fingers or cast or splint your hand. If nothing's broken, the nurse will be back with your release papers and a stack of instructions."

"Thank you," Kurt said.

"I have to ask once more before I leave. Are you sure you don't want us to contact the police about your injuries?"

"I'm sure. It was just a scuffle. I don't want to press charges."

He nodded. "Your life, your call. You'll have the paperwork should you change your mind later." He left.

Kurt didn't say anything.

"A scuffle? That's a euphemism if I ever heard one."

"I'll be fine. The only reason I came is because of how much my hand hurts. I need full use of my fingers and I didn't want to leave it and regret it later."

"I know you're fine. You're tough as nails. And I'm sure the other guy–"

"Guys." Kurt held up two fingers.

Sebastian raised his eyebrow, impressed. He lowered his voice to near silent. "I'm sure the other guys deserved whatever you did to them."

Kurt chuckled. "They did. I'll tell you later. I'm glad you came."

"Me too. I worried all the way here."

"I'm sorry I worried you." He reached for Sebastian's hand.

A nurse came in not too much later and said, "Well, Mr. Hummel, you have a fracture in your proximal phalange," she teased. "Otherwise known as here," she pointed to the area on the outer edge of the back of his hand, below his pinky knuckle. I'll get someone in here to cast your hand. I'll leave you with this stack of papers to read on how to care for your injuries."

* * *

Kurt lay down in the bed with Sebastian and turned the lamp off. "At least the cast is waterproof," Kurt said. "That made showering so much easier."

"I'm sure."

"I'll tell you everything now. I just needed time to feel a bit more normal. Showered, moisturized, and in my pajamas while snuggled up with you is perfect."

Sebastian listened carefully as Kurt recounted what had happened.

"That's amazing you know. You kicked their asses, babe. You saved that guy's life, no doubt."

"Possibly. They were working him over pretty heavily, with insults and blows."

"You were super brave, babe. Very hot. You can definitely kick anyone's ass who tries to kick mine."

"Oh, now that's a deal for sure. I'm rather fond of your ass."

"Promises, promises," he teased. "I love you. I'm glad your okay."

"Me too. I love you too."

* * *

The next morning someone practically pounded on their door before Kurt had even finished making their coffee. Sebastian was in the bathroom shaving. Kurt went to the door, looked through the peephole to see his dad standing on the other side of the door. He opened it quickly and stepped back, closing it just as quickly.

"Dad? What are you doing here? I told you I was fine."

"I've heard that before. I needed to see for myself. What were you thinking? I mean I know what you were thinking. Who do you think you are? Di _e Hard_ or Charles Bronson or something? Those guys could have had a gun."

"What would you have done? I've turned the other cheek my whole life."

Sebastian heard the commotion and came out, shaving cream on a little less than half his face. He didn't go past the end of the kitchen wall.

"I played football, Kurt."

"So, did I."

"As a kicker," he practically yelled.

"That's the same attitude that makes these guys think that they can do whatever they want."

"Oh, come on. You could have called the cops. You could have gotten help. Look, I'm proud of what you did, but come on, man. Use your head. You realize how lucky you are?"

Sebastian couldn't take anymore. He stepped out. "I know how lucky I am. My boyfriend stood up to two people who were probably going to kill a guy just because he was gay. He's not the kid he was in high school anymore, Mr. Hummel. He's strong. He's a brave man, who saved a guy's life last night."

"So, are you saying that this other guy wasn't brave?" Burt practically collapsed onto the sofa.

Kurt answered back. "I don't know his story. I only know mine and I've been dealing with these kinds of guys for a really long time."

"I've been fighting too, okay?" He looked at Kurt. "Look at your beautiful face."

"I'm not worried about it." Kurt sat down on the other section.

Sebastian sat next to him.

"I hurt, yes. But not on the inside. You know what? Now I know who I am, without a doubt. You know who that is?"

"Braveheart?" Burt teased.

Kurt answered seriously. "Your son. The man you raised."

Burt scooted down and sat closer. "I'm glad you're okay. Just don't do it again, unless I'm right next to you. We'll take them together?"

Kurt smiled. "No promises. I'm not going to just let someone get killed. And the authorities were called, as well as an ambulance. I just didn't stay around to see it. I figured that 'Congressman Hummel's Son Arrested for Assault in New York City Alley' wouldn't be the headline you'd like to read this morning."

Burt laughed. "Definitely not."

"How'd you get here so quickly anyway?"

"I saw your text when I woke up during the night and couldn't sleep. I rented a car from a place that's open 24/7 and drove here. I think it's faster than flying anyway. Plus, I can leave the car here and fly back if I want."

"I need to eat and get out of here. I have class this morning. You can either come with me or stay here and sleep until I come back. I left Isabelle a text right after I texted you. She told me not to come in, which will not help me pay the ER bill from last night." He huffed. "You can decide while we eat. There's leftover lasagna you can warm up for lunch if you get hungry before I get back."

Sebastian scurried back to the bathroom to finish shaving. "I have class too, so I won't be here to disturb your sleep if that's what you want to do."

"That sounds like a good idea."


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for discussions involving the deaths of Kurt's mom and Finn.

When Kurt came back from class, Burt was sitting the table eating lasagna.

"Hey, kiddo. How were your classes?"

"Fine. My Statistics professor talked about all of the fields that use statistical research. It's a very practical type of math. I think I'll like it a lot more than taking calculus, which isn't used in regular daily life. And World History is interesting."

"Yeah, you've liked history for a long time. Are you hungry? I know that 11:00 is a little early for lunch, but I didn't eat any breakfast."

"I'll warm some up and eat with you. Sebastian won't be home until a little before dinner, I think. This is his first day of college. I need to remember to take a picture of him when he gets home. I was thrown off my game when you showed up unexpectedly." He put his container of lasagna in the microwave.

"I like him."

"Good. So do I," Kurt teased.

Burt quit eating and waited for Kurt. "How's your hand feeling?"

"Meh. I took ibuprofen like the sheet from the ER said. I'm due for some more. I'll take it after I eat. It doesn't feel great, but I'll live. My back actually hurts more. With the cast on, the injured part isn't being moved. I can't just hold still to keep my back from hurting. But it's not that big of a deal. I've had worse."

"You still haven't come clean about how bad it was in Lima, have you?"

"I'm not sure what purpose there would be in telling you. It wouldn't have changed anything then, and it won't change anything now or in the future. I told you that I'd quit hiding important things. I texted you last night and told you about this. I kept my word." He pulled the glass bowl out of the microwave using a silicone potholder. He grabbed a fork and sat down at the table.

"I like this place. It's small, but it's not claustrophobia inducing like my place in DC. We're looking for another place, someplace that Carole will like more. We really need a place with a separate bedroom area since she comes with me more often now."

Kurt nodded. "How's she doing? She doesn't keep in contact with me like she used to."

"She's still not doing well. She did start seeing someone, but I haven't seen a lot of improvement yet. She manages to hide it better. She can turn on the 'old Carole' for an evening or when she runs into someone she knows, but the instant the event is over or the person isn't around, she slips back into her 'new Carole', which means she's quiet and sad."

"It's hard. I saw her do what you just described for my birthday."

Burt looked like he was going to say something, but then stopped. He took a deep breath. "I was surprised to see you and Sebastian sharing a room. I know it's on me, bud. I just can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that you're 20."

"I don't have an answer for that."

"I don't expect you to."

"I think that maybe your only option is to just do what I did."

"What was that?"

"Tell myself every day. I've started trying to demolish my old habits by telling myself true statements. My therapist suggested that I try to tell myself positive things to build myself up, but I was unsuccessful at that, so we took a step back and I tell myself true things."

"I don't get it."

"Well, I would look in the mirror and notice all of my flaws. My face was too round. I looked weak. I wasn't muscular enough. I have pear hips. And I couldn't move from that to saying the opposite. I couldn't look in the mirror and tell myself that I looked strong. I could, however, manage to look in the mirror and notice areas that had gotten stronger or remind myself of things that I had learned that made me less vulnerable, like the stuff I was learning in Stage Combat and from some martial arts lessons I traded for some tailoring."

"Okay. Why are you so down on yourself? You're a really great person and you care about people. Why does having, what did you say? 'Pear hips'? Honestly, I don't even know what it means. Why does having pear hips matter?"

"It was one of the many insults lobbed at me. I look in the mirror and the echoes of the things I've been called bounce around in my mind. Sebastian has really helped with that." Kurt smiled faintly.

"You're in love with him."

"I am," cheerfully admitted.

"It seems so fast."

"I know. Trust me, I know. But we built our friendship long-distance while he was still in Ohio. He was really there for me in a way that no one has been before. I knew he liked me when I agreed to stay here. He told me so that day at the coffee shop. I told him I wasn't interested or ready. And he never pressured me. I was the one who asked him."

"And you said you had a good time with his family in Florida. I was glad to hear that. Maybe sometime we could meet them."

"I'm sure we could arrange that."

"The lasagna was really good."

"Sebastian made it. He's a good cook. I know he and I both still have a lot to learn, but it's so different living with him than it was living with Rachel. I feel at home in my home. Don't get me wrong. There were good times with Rachel and I am trying to work things out with her. That's where I had been when I walked past the alley last night. I was walking from her place to the subway after she and I talked. _Funny Girl_ opened Sunday night and she was fantastic."

"Tell me about the martial arts."

"Well, one of the TAs teaches a couple of different types on the side. He considered my build and my strengths and weaknesses and decided that in our limited time that his best bet would be to teach me some defensive hold breaks and offensive kicks because I have good balance and I'm flexible. And kicks always deal more of a blow than simply punching someone unless you're trained well at hand-to-hand fighting. So, I caught on quickly and I'm pretty good at it. After last night, I've decided to go back to him and see what it would cost for me to take lessons twice a month or something."

"You do that, and if you can't afford it, just let me know. I want Sebastian to go too." He took his hat off and rubbed his hand across his head before putting his hat back on. "I thought you'd be safe here or at least safer." He sighed. "And then last night happened. I'm sorry I got so upset about you trying to help someone. You've always been the type to help. I'm not going to talk you out of something that's in your nature to do, but I do want you to get more lessons." He looked Kurt in the eye. "Not so you'll become a vigilante though, got it?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to go out looking for fights."

Burt nodded. "I overreacted."

"I know. It's okay. You lost mom and Finn. You don't want to lose me too. Now, you know why I hassle you so much about taking walks. That's something easy that you can do to stay healthy for longer. I don't want to lose you either."

"I walk a lot in DC. More than I would ever choose to."

"Good." Kurt grabbed both bowls and washed them. "So, what are you're plans?"

"While you were gone, I booked a flight back this evening. I'm dropping the car off at the airport."

"Well, I normally work until 6 on Tuesdays, but since I'm off, I'm all yours."

"You need to rest. Get ice or heat, whatever they said, on your back and we'll watch a movie and relax, maybe talk some more. Maybe we'll go for a walk later. You said Sebastian won't be back for a while."

"Yeah, Mr. Genius has a 3-hour lab every afternoon. He's taking the equivalent of two Advanced Physics courses, squished into a summer session. And he's taking Calculus III."

"That's impressive."

"It is. Can you give him a fair chance? For me?"

"Of course, Kurt. It's not that I'm not going to give him a chance. I already like the guy. What am I doing that gives you the impression that I don't like him?"

"I guess it's probably just that you never really ask about him. I'm not sure, actually. Just a vague feeling, I guess."

"Well, your 'vague feeling' aside, I do like the guy. He seems to be a straight shooter and he helped you out when you were about to make a really bad choice."

"He did. But that's not why I'm with him now." Kurt dried the storage bowls and put them away. "I'll get the ice pack and you pick the movie. What DVDs we have are in the top drawer on the right. We have Netflix and Amazon too." Kurt grabbed the bag of frozen corn, took two more ibuprofen, and pulled the curtains closed before he sat down.

* * *

After the movie, they spent the rest of the afternoon talking, mostly about Kurt's mom and Finn. Quite a few tears were shed and there was a good bit of hugging.

When Sebastian unlocked the door and came in, he found them sitting at the table playing poker. He saw that Kurt's pile of chips was larger.

Kurt stood up. "Stop. Wait right there." He hurried into their room and grabbed Sebastian's camera and his phone and scurried back. "I forgot to take your picture this morning."

Sebastian looked perplexed.

"Today was your first day of college. Put your backpack back up on your shoulder and smile." Kurt winked at him, which caused him to smile. Kurt snapped a quick photo. He switched to his phone. He took another. "Now, one I can send to your parents." He walked over to Sebastian to get his approval.

"It's fine." He kissed Kurt on the temple.

"We're in the middle of a 10-game match. At the end whoever has fewer chips at the end is buying dinner. I've already chosen the place – Mercado sin mancha's taquería."

"Ooh. That actually sounds really good. You'll like it there, Mr. Hummel."

"I'm sure I will. I love tacos. You need to call me 'Burt' though. I get called Mr. Hummel by people who don't know me."

"Alright. I can do that." He went towards their spare room and put his books on his shelf, leaving his Calculus book on the desk, and sat down to start working on the problems he needed to do.

Kurt came to look for him when he and Burt finished the hand they were playing. Sebastian looked up when Kurt walked up to him. Kurt stepped closer and leaned down to offer him a kiss, which he quickly returned.

"You can sit with us, if we won't distract you too much. I don't want you to feel like I don't want you around. I know he's a little rough around the edges, but he likes you."

"Okay. I just know you don't get to spend much time with him."

"I don't, but I want him to get used to you. I don't want you to step aside whenever he's around." He put his forearms on Sebastian's shoulders and leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "I love you. I won't twist your arm, but you're welcome to be with us."

"I love you too." He turned in his chair. "Why are you wearing a long-sleeved shirt when it's hot?" He paused and thought. "Your dad doesn't know about the tattoos does he?"

"No."

"I'll come sit with you." He grabbed what he needed.

Kurt left the room and went in their bedroom and put a t-shirt on, stalling a bit by looking in the mirror and giving himself a pep talk.

Sebastian was sitting at the table with his Calculus book, a spiral-bound notebook, and the pencil case Kurt had made for him when Kurt came back in. He sat back down and picked up the cards Burt had dealt while he was out of the room.

"You look more like it's July now. You always wore long sleeves in the summer. I could never figure out why."

"At some points, I just didn't want anyone to see my body at all. Most of the time, I wore clothes like armor."

Kurt's cell phone rang, interrupting him. He picked it up and saw Adam's name. He swiped to answer knowing that something was definitely up with him calling outside of their normal scheduled times.

"Hey, Adam!"

"Kurt, I just had to call and tell you. I just got the call back from the director. They picked me. I'm Juror #8!"

"Oh, my God, Adam. That's fantastic! You're going to be amazing. You have to get someone to record it somehow. I want to see you in it."

Adam laughed. "I don't know, but I'll see what I can do. I won't keep you. I just couldn't wait until tomorrow to tell you."

"I'm glad you called. Congratulations!" Kurt disconnected the call. "Adam got that part in _12 Angry Jurors_. He got Juror #8."

"Isn't that the one that convinces all of the others?" Sebastian asked.

"It is."

"Adam's your friend that went back to England, right?" Burt asked.

Kurt nodded. "That's such a good role. Adam's so sweet and sincere. It's nice to get to play a good character. I'll find out when it opens tomorrow when I talk to him. I talk to him every Wednesday."

"I'm glad he finally got a role," Sebastian said. "I'm sorry that he won't be coming back here though. I know you miss him."

"I do, but this is a great opportunity for him. If he stays with the show for a while, he'll have a better chance of getting another role in the future." He thought about his wrists as his hands lay in his lap. _There's no real way to ease into this._ He put his elbows on the table and rotated his arms so that his wrists were facing Burt.

"You have tattoos on your wrists. They're completely healed, so they aren't new."

"I had them done a little over a week after Finn's funeral. I spent a lot of time thinking about him and Mom. I just felt like after the pain of everything, I needed something physical to remind me that I'm still here and that life is more than just putting one foot in front of the other and surviving, although we have periods like that. I know that Mom and Finn wouldn't want me to just give up."

Burt looked at them carefully to see what they said. "Defy Gravity," he said. "That's from _Wicked_. I've heard you sing that song a million times."

"Yes, it's from _Wicked_ , but I've only sung it a few hundred times at most and very few of those times were where you could hear it."

"That's the one Schue didn't want to give you a chance to sing, isn't it."

"It is."

"And the other one?"

"It's from a song too. When I was at Dalton, Finn performed 'I've Gotta Be Me' for the Glee Club. He sent me the recording Rachel made, which I kept."

"I'd like you to send it to me. I think Carole would like to have it."

"Okay."

"Sing it for me."

Kurt did as Burt asked.

… _  
I can't be right for somebody else  
If I'm not right for me.  
I gotta be free. I just gotta be free.  
Daring to try, to do it or die.  
I've gotta be me._

"I get it," Burt said. "Did you think I was going to be angry?"

"I don't know. I think I need to spend some more time working on talking through some things with the guy I see."

"If I'm honest with you, Kurt. This kind of thing is probably one of the things to make me feel like you're still a child. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings in any way, but you ask me why I feel the way I do. I think this is part of it. Children do things like mess with things that don't belong to them and when asked about it, they lie. Or they do things like throw the thing they broke in the trash and then pretend to have no idea where it is. The way you keep things from me has become your default reaction, and from a parent's perspective it's really immature. So, it's this weird circle where you thought you were doing the 'adult' thing to not worry me by telling me the stuff that went on that hurt you. But the constant secretive behavior made me trust you less and made me more protective of you because you were acting childish. It's weird. I know. You're an adult. You have a body. You can clothe that body, style the hair on your body, and you can tattoo or pierce your body in any way that you deem attractive or whatever. You don't need my approval to do those things. But you want my approval still."

Kurt looked down and closed his eyes. A couple of minutes passed before he spoke. "You teased me about my taste in clothes. You wouldn't let me drive the Navigator until I promised to stop wearing those 'girly' long sweaters. You told me that it was my job to be myself and your job to love me, and then you told me not to wear the kilt." Tears streaked down Kurt's cheeks. "You took it away again when you found my tiaras and never even gave me a chance to explain. The tiaras were Mom's. When she was sick and felt terrible, she'd prop up in the bed and let me sit on her lap and do her hair. And then, I'd put the tiaras on her and on me and we'd eat cookies and drink tea I made. I had hoped to pass them on to a daughter, if I ever had one. Plus, you had to have been snooping to find them because I had them stored away and only got them out when I was really missing her."

Burt's face fell.

"Just so you know, I skipped school the next morning and went to the place where you always donated stuff and I told the manager why I needed them back. They hadn't been put out for sale yet. I had to buy them back, but I do have them."

"I'm glad."

"I also never kept my promise about the sweaters."

Burt chuckled and wiped his eyes.

"You went to my choir performances through middle school, and then you just quit coming. But then when I played football and you were up on your feet cheering for me."

Burt's expression changed to guilt.

Kurt spoke again, ever more quietly. "A month and a half ago, you went to Nationals – in Los Angeles. You didn't come to see me and Finn at Nationals either year. You only came to Regionals senior year when it was held at McKinley, the same day that Rachel and Finn were going to get married."

"You're right, Kurt. And I'm sorry."

"Is it okay if I say something?" Sebastian asked.

Kurt looked up and saw nothing but kindness in his eyes. "Yeah, of course."

"I'm not an expert, but from listening to you talk, I don't think Kurt was acting childish. I think Kurt somehow ended up parenting you in a lot of ways. And you took on the role of nay-saying, sassy teen. Teasing him about his clothing choices is like a teen teasing their dad because he can't figure out to get his Kindle to work. The big difference is that the parent is old enough not to take the teasing to heart, but a kid isn't. I think Kurt never felt like you loved him unconditionally, despite the fact that he clearly knew that you loved him. You said things that your actions didn't match."

"He's right. Like last Christmas. You said you came to spend it with me, and then you made a bet on how long it would take me to pick up a magazine during a basketball game. If you came to spend time with me, why was the basketball game even on? Why weren't we watching a Christmas movie or a spy movie? Something we all could have enjoyed. You sat there and told him that _you_ knew me better than _he_ did. And while that _could_ have been true, what it proved more than anything was that you _knew_ I wouldn't want to watch a basketball game on Christmas, but you had it on anyway."

"You're right. Again, though, if you had told me the truth about what had happened, that visit would have been a lot different."

"You could have asked. Think about it this way. You wouldn't let me have people over to _your_ house without getting permission first. What gave you the idea that you had the right to ask people to _my_ home to stay without asking _me_ first? I had someone over once without advanced permission and you told me I behaved inappropriately. I think bringing my ex to my home to stay with me as my Christmas gift was a hell of a lot more inappropriate."

"You're right. It was. I acted on assumptions, which is never a good choice. I'm sorry."

Kurt nodded, but didn't say anything.

"I'm also sorry about the kilt and saying things about your clothes. I get what Sebastian was saying. I was the only adult you had in your life and I shouldn't have teased you like that."

Kurt nodded again. He drew a couple of cards and discarded. He slipped a few chips forward.

"Whatever happened with that song? The gravity one."

"I blew the high note on purpose and Rachel won, but we didn't end up using it for Sectionals anyway."

"Why did you blow it after I went in to fight for you to get a chance?"

"You got that call." He continued with the game play.

Burt's eyes narrowed, clearly trying to figure out what call Kurt was referring to.

"The one about me being a fag."

"Oh. Why did that make you blow the song?"

"I figured that if I sang a girl's song at a public competition that even more people would call and harass you at work. You didn't deserve that. You were really upset by it. I didn't want it to happen even more." He laid his cards down to show a straight.

Burt showed a single pair of jacks.

Kurt pulled the chips in the middle towards himself.

They played the last hand in silence. Kurt folded quickly and ended their match. He clearly had more chips than Burt without bothering to count. He stacked the chips back into the cylinder and put the cards back in their box. He stood up and took them and put them in the spare room on the shelf with the games. He went into the bathroom afterwards.

When the bathroom door closed, Burt looked at Sebastian. "You get him. I can just tell."

"We've talked a lot. He gets me too. And I love him."

Burt nodded. "So do I."

Sebastian nodded. "He knows. I think the issue lies more on the side of whether you like him."

Burt sighed.

"I'm really not trying to overstep, but he was genuinely taken aback that my parents and aunt and uncle actually enjoyed spending time talking with him when we were in Florida."

"I didn't get myself any help after Elizabeth died. I didn't get him any help either. We fell into a pattern that shouldn't have happened and now 12 years later, we're still stuck in the loop. I'll go see someone with Carole and start there. I'm not sure what else to try."

"That seems like a good place to start."

Kurt came out of the bathroom. "So, are you ready for some fantastic tacos?"

"I am actually. Lunch was delicious." Burt turned to Sebastian. "I heard that I have you to thank for that."

Sebastian smiled. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. We had surprise guests from Lima Saturday. I made two big pans."

"I ate a piece of the white one. It was really good, but that was ages ago because I ate so early." He stood up and pushed his chair up. "I think I'll visit the bathroom before we leave too." He walked off.

Sebastian closed his book and grabbed his stuff and put them back on his desk. Kurt followed him and pushed the door closed behind him, not enough to latch, but just enough to give them a bit of privacy when Burt came out of the bathroom. Kurt stepped closer to Sebastian.

"Will you hold me for a minute?" he asked quietly.

"Of course." Sebastian opened his arms and wrapped them around Kurt. He pressed his nose into the nape of Kurt's neck and breathed in. "I know you've forgiven me, and I won't apologize again, but I understand so much more now." He could feel Kurt barely nod. He pulled Kurt even closer, making sure to keep his hands off the bruised area of Kurt's back. "I can't even find the words to tell you how glad I am that you gave me a chance. I love you so much, Kurt. You're amazing."

"Maybe I'll believe that again some day, but for now I'll just be glad that you think so." He pulled back a bit and kissed Sebastian sweetly. "Let's go eat tacos."

"Mmm. Sounds good." He let go of Kurt and followed him out to the living room, stopping in the bathroom himself. When he came out he saw Kurt stepping back from hugging Burt.

The three of them headed out.

"Where's the car you rented?" Kurt asked.

"There's a lot a block north of here. That's where I'll head after we eat."

Sebastian took Kurt's hand once they were outside. "Mercado sin mancha is in that general direction, so you won't have to backtrack much."

"Even better." He smiled when he noticed Sebastian proudly holding Kurt's hand.


	36. Chapter 36

When Sebastian came into their room after he showered, he didn't see Kurt. He walked back out into the living room, and then peeked around the wall to look in the kitchen, but he wasn't in either room. He turned back and looked in their spare room, which was also empty.

"Kurt?"

"In here."

Sebastian pinpointed his location to their closet. He went to see what Kurt was doing. He stopped in front of the doorway and saw Kurt on his knees in front of an open box.

"Hey, sweetie. What did you need?"

"You. I kind of panicked when I couldn't find you."

Kurt looked up at him and smiled softly. "Well you found me." He handed Sebastian a smaller storage box he pulled out of the larger box. "Here, take this."

He took it and put it on their bed.

Kurt followed him out and opened it up. Inside were four tiaras, packed neatly in what looked like velvet. Kurt unwrapped each one and put them on the dresser. "Maybe it's stupid, but I can just kind of feel her when I touch them."

"It's not stupid." Sebastian stepped up behind him, but didn't touch him.

"You can touch them if you want. It's not like they're made out of 18 carat gold and real gems."

"Maybe not, but they are really pretty." Sebastian moved to stand next to Kurt and picked one of them up. "I'm glad you were able to get them back."

"Me too. I have a small glass perfume bottle that was hers. My dad gave it to me last Christmas. I hadn't seen it since the Christmas after she died. And I have this dresser. I had a few scarves that I had in my room already and a few other things. About a year after she died, my dad bought a big flat screen TV and hung it up, taking the paintings down. I told you that." Kurt began wrapping the tiaras back up.

Sebastian nodded. He handed Kurt the one he had in his hand.

"I took the paintings down to my room when he told me to put them in the garage. He wasn't looking because he was busy installing the wall mount for the TV. After I went to bed that night, he went through their room and boxed up the rest of her stuff and put it in the garage, but I found the boxes before he managed to take them anywhere. She liked to wear long, free-flowing skirts. I kept all of them. That's what's in the box still." He put the tiaras back in the box and put them in the closet.

When he came out, Sebastian patted the bed next to him.

Kurt sat down. "He didn't get rid of my baby book or photos albums, but I took them hostage in my room and put them in a locked trunk. I'm sure it would have taken him two minutes to unlock it with a pocketknife, but I was a kid and it felt safe at the time. I just think he went through a period where seeing anything of hers hurt too much and he just got rid of all of it. I've never asked him about it. Now that I have the skirts with me here, I'm going to slowly turn them into a quilt. I didn't have the skill to do it when I had the time in junior high, but I do now. It will just take a while."

"That's a cool idea."

"Maybe I won't be crazy busy this fall and I can work on it. I already know what I'd like to do."

"Sounds like a good project for the late fall and winter when it gets dark so early that going out to do things isn't very appealing. You have that big light that you brought back when we drove the U-Haul here. That should provide plenty of light for you to work on it."

"That's what I used it for when I had it in my basement room. It was only ever super light down there a few hours a day." Kurt sighed. "Thanks for not acting bored."

"I'm not 'not acting bored'. I'm not actually bored at all. I always enjoy learning more things about you."

"You're sweet."

"I'm being honest."

"I believe you. It's just something good to get used to." He leaned into Sebastian's shoulder, but stopped short of tipping his head in mid-movement. "Ugh. I can't lay my head on your shoulder on this side. When we got back from Florida, I was going to ask you if you wanted to shower with me. I know you wanted to wait longer when I asked you in Florida two weeks ago, and I thought maybe – and then this." He looked at the black cast on his hand. "How about a different idea?"

"Like what?"

"Maybe we could sleep in our boxer briefs like you tried to do the first night we shared my bed."

Sebastian chuckled. "You were in a mood that night. A totally understandable mood, but it was everything I could do to not laugh at your response to me in my t-shirt and boxer briefs. You were adorably annoyed. I was doing my utmost to think of the least sexy thoughts possible – scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush, cleaning out a stable, that kind of thing. All I had were my form fitting boxer briefs and the t-shirt, which would not have covered up the issue I was trying to prevent. I relieved myself in the bathroom and finished with an ice cold shower to try to make it into bed without having any issues."

"And I prolonged the whole ordeal by making you leave and wait for me to get you some pajamas." Kurt chuckled.

"Exactly. Every second I was trying to play it cool…"

Kurt moved and straddled Sebastian's lap. "And now, I'm asking you if you want to sleep in just our boxer briefs. You can say no."

"I know I can. You've accepted me saying no or not yet before. I know you'd never pressure me. And I won't pressure you either." Sebastian wrapped his hands around Kurt's lower back and tipped his head up to kiss Kurt. "I will say yes to the shower whenever you feel like we can enjoy it like you want. And yes to sleeping in our boxers starting now."

"You're sure."

"I'm sure. I think I just needed time to wrap my head around the fact that this is real. I don't know if you've ever really wanted something, and then when you got it, you had this feeling that you were still imagining getting it."

"Frequently, but I look back through all of our texts and I see the progression. We let our walls down together. You became my best friend, the kind of friend I always wanted. And it's such an amazing feeling to know that you actually want to be with me. I have a hard time believing it still. But then tonight, you were so intuitive about some of the issues that I struggle with that I just know that it's real. No one has ever understood me like that. No one has ever seen my issues with my dad from my perspective. Everyone always thought he was the perfect dad. And he is a good dad. But the deep unrest between us, no one ever saw that. Like no one saw me dealing with him coming home from the hospital with the IV bag and having to keep track of his medicine and check on the shop and cook and do the shopping and all of the other stuff I already did." He leaned down and kissed Sebastian gently. "I guess that was just a super long 'yes' that I do understand the feeling you were describing – being thrilled to get what you want, while simultaneously being cautious that you're just imagining things." He ran his thumb across Sebastian's lips and kissed him again. He slid back and stood up. "I have something for you."

"What?"

"Well, in the month that we've been dating and living together full time, I've noticed you fishing for your keys a lot."

Sebastian tilted his head. "I guess I do. I've never really thought about."

"Well, Saturday on my lunch, I made you something."

Sebastian closed his eyes and held his hands out in front of him. He wiggled and bopped his head around in anticipation.

Kurt smiled at his antics. He pulled out the keychain he had made and placed it in Sebastian's hand. "You can open your eyes."

"It's a triangular keychain?"

"It is, but it's special."

"Of course it is. You made it for me." He winked at Kurt.

"You are sappy."

"Only with you. What's special about it besides it's mine and you made it for me?"

"The smaller ring can move around the triangle without being able to fall off, so you can put the triangle in different positions depending on what you fasten it to. Stand up and I'll show you"

Sebastian stood up and kissed Kurt.

He showed Sebastian each part as he described how he had made it. "I welded the small ring closed. I drilled into two ball bearings. I used a blowtorch to shape the steel rod into a triangle. I welded the first ball bearing on the one end, slipped the small ring onto the rod, and then welded the other ball bearing to the end with just a super thin space between the two ball bearings so you can clip the triangle to things."

"Superman."

Kurt shook his head, rolled his eyes, and smiled. "Watch." He took the triangular key chain and slipped the section with the two ball bearing ends right over the belt loops on Sebastian's shorts. "See, it goes on easily and you can take it off easily, but it won't fall off." Kurt slipped it off his belt loop. "And if you don't want them dangling from your belt loop, you can slip it onto your pocket, and the keys will slide around and hang down comfortably inside your pocket without falling to the bottom. It will also slip over something like a bag strap or a D-ring inside a bag. I added one to your backpack already."

"It's perfect. It's exactly what I never knew I needed."

Kurt kissed him. "It's been a great first month as your boyfriend."

"It has. Come with me so I can show you what I got for both of us." He led Kurt into the kitchen. "So, I didn't make this, but it sort of falls into the same category of things you really need – and I do as well. Wait here." He went around the end of the short kitchen wall, opened the coat closet, and pulled out a box. He sat it on the kitchen table and opened it. "So, I know you make bread to cut down on food prep in the morning."

"Mmm hmm. Plus it's cost effective."

"Yes, so these things fall into the same category. I noticed that you oftentimes seem to skip lunch, or you maybe stop somewhere and get food along the way."

"Some of both."

"Well, now you won't need to do either one. I got each of us a really nice, adult-looking lunchbox." He pulled out a midnight blue one and a dark gray one, both woven with black to give them a classic linen look. "And two matching thermoses, one larger than the other. One is for us to take yogurt and fruit smoothies in and the other is for us to take soup in. And an insulated water bottle that matches as well. I figure if we make a good menu and get a system going, we can pack our lunches every day and have the smoothies mid-afternoon. And we can eat really healthy food without spending $10 on lunch when we're just famished. I know myself well enough to know that I'll just grab a burger and fries, but I can't keep that mindset because I'm not going to be training anymore like I used to. I'm not just going to burn off 600 calories every afternoon by running and working out like I used to."

Kurt picked his lunch bag up and inspected it. "The bags have long soft nylon straps to carry them like mini-messenger bags. They do look really classy, much classier than any lunchbox I've ever seen. This was really thoughtful. Thank you." He unzipped the lunchbox and put all three black thermoses inside. "They fit perfectly."

"I figured we can refill our water bottles if need be. I also bought a mini slow cooker. We can cook extra meat at dinner every night and put it in with whatever frozen vegetables we want to use for soup the next day and turn it on before we go to bed like you do with your bread maker."

"You've been busy planning."

"You were gone for like 11 hours a day the two weeks before we left. I had a lot of time on my hands. I bookmarked a bunch of websites with soup and smoothie recipes too. I found some cookbooks that looked promising, but I'd like to look at them in person before choosing one. Maybe we can go to a bookstore after the flea market on Sunday."

Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian. "No one has ever done anything like this for me. Thank you. We can look through the websites tomorrow evening and we can make our first lunches tomorrow evening. And a bookstore on Sunday sounds good." He stepped closer and reached up and ran his hand through Sebastian's hair and pecked him on the lips. "I'm going to go ahead and shower."

"I'll load all of this in the dishwasher while you do that."

"It's dishwasher safe?"

"Yep. That was one of my requirements. I didn't want getting this stuff adding to the list of things we already have to do by having to hand wash them."

"Perfect."

* * *

"So, what do you think?" Kurt asked. Since his back was injured, he was the big spoon and had his arm under Sebastian's and across his chest.

"I can feel your skin on mine practically everywhere. It's very arousing, yet it's really calming. I definitely like it."

"Me too. Three weeks and I'll be able to get this cast off, I hope."

"The bruises should heal up by then too. Do you have any arnica?"

"I actually do. I used to use it on all of bruises I used to get from the locker shoves. I usually keep it in my storage box of extra skincare stuff in the closet, but I moved it to my stuff in the bathroom until my eye is healed up. We can put some on tomorrow. I'm too comfy to get up or let you up."

"Okay."

"I told my dad about how I had taken a few martial arts lessons with a guy from my Stage Combat class. He wants both of us to sign up for lessons."

"Sure. I mentioned earlier this evening how I'm not training like I used to for lacrosse. A martial arts class will help keep me flexible and in shape."

"I'll have to modify my yoga training until I get this cast off and maybe for a while after that."

"You're thinking too much."

"I know."

"How about if I lie on my back and you splay out on top of me like you like. At least that way we can kiss until your brain turns off and you fall asleep."

"Sounds very comfy. I love kissing you." He scooted back and they rearranged.

* * *

Two days later after dinner, they were talking while sitting in the corner of the sofa, with their feet propped up on the ottoman.

"Now that you've had the chance to attend your classes for a few days, what do you think?" Kurt asked.

"The physics class is very intensive and challenging, but not impossibly hard. Calculus III is like every other calculus class – lots of calculations using increasingly complex methods of computation. There's really nothing hard about math. It's really just super detail-oriented and requires a lot of focused effort. I think your statistics class will probably more difficult in the aspect of deciding what type of graph best portrays the data. Knowing which type of data is the best to collect or use from the provided information and the collection frequency requires knowledge of the data being gathered. Measuring a growing child every day versus measuring them once a year will yield two very different graphs or charts."

"That's true. I've never take a statistics class before, but I already appreciate the real-life application to regular, everyday activities. I think after Algebra 1 and Geometry, the rest of the math classes I took lacked everyday, real-life applications. I mean I haven't had to solve an equation with three variables in the whole year I've been out of high school. And disappointingly, not a single triangle has approached me to ask me to help it calculate the sine of its largest angle."

Sebastian cracked up laughing.

"All that effort and not a single chance to show off my amazing trigonometry skills before I forgot every formula I ever memorized."

Sebastian was still chuckling. "You have plenty of amazing skills, babe." He leaned in closer. "Like you're amazing kissing skills. I'm sure that you have other amazing things you can do with that talented tongue." He just barely licked the edge of Kurt's earlobe.

Kurt blushed. "I guess we'll find out some day. There's a first time for everything, right?"

Sebastian sat back up straight and looked at Kurt. "Wait, what?"

" _What_ what?" Kurt tilted his head slightly. "Are we not talking about the same thing?"

"I'm pretty sure we are. I just didn't realize."

"Oh. Well, I haven't done that."

"Because you don't want to?"

"No. I mean no, it wasn't because I don't want to." He closed his eyes. "Can we talk about it another time? I've been looking forward to snuggling with you and watching the third season of _Downton Abbey_ with you all week."

"Sure." Sebastian leaned back into the sofa near the corner.

Kurt snuggled into his side.

"I want to see it too. It was a great find in that used bookshop in St. Augustine." He picked the remote up from the cushion next to him. He relaxed and closed his eyes for just a minute before he started it. He could feel Kurt's rhythmic breathing, but something felt off, like Kurt wasn't completely relaxed. Then, he felt a little catch in Kurt's breath. He opened his eyes. "Are you in pain like this? Should we try rearranging again?" And then he maybe he had to do with what Kurt didn't want to talk about. "You're not having doubts about being good enough again, aren't you?"

"That was two questions. To answer the first one, I don't think I can get 100% comfortable, not yet. Maybe in a few more days. And to your second question, the answer is that even when there are times that I don't feel like I am, I trust you to be honest with me. I keep telling myself the things you tell me, which is that I'm enough, and I'm working on believing it."

"Well, I am right. You are enough. More than enough. I love you and you're amazing." Sebastian kissed him on the forehead. "Is there some way we can rearrange so you'll be more comfortable?"

"I love you too." He took a deep breath. "I think once it starts, I'll be focused on what's going on and I won't think about it as much."

Sebastian kissed the top of Kurt's head.

Kurt moved his hand a little more towards Sebastian's shoulder, and then again even higher. He relaxed his hand, so his fingers were draped over the curve of Sebastian's shoulder. "Is this okay?"

"It's fine. Are you more comfortable now?"

"I am. You're so attentive. It's really sweet." He ran his thumb along Sebastian's collarbone, gently caressing the exposed skin along the top of his t-shirt. "You're a really great boyfriend. By the way, everything was delicious today."

"I thought so too. We'll definitely keep last night's recipe. Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

Sebastian picked the remote up and started the episode.

* * *

Friday evening, Sebastian got home a little after Kurt. He found him sitting in the living room working on part of a costume that he couldn't identify at first. "Hey, babe." He leaned over the back of the sofa and kissed Kurt. "What are you working on?"

Kurt lifted it up so that Sebastian could see it.

He then recognized it as the bodice and sleeves to a fancy dress. "That looks like something Morgana would wear on _Merlin_."

Kurt looked up and over his shoulder. "You like _Merlin_?"

"Of course. Although, it would be just a bit more fun if two of the king's knights were gay."

Kurt laughed. "One of them, or both, would need to have magic to keep from being caught."

"Ooh, now that could make it even more fun."

"Before I forget, I know we were supposed to go to Santana and Dani's, but it's taking me a lot longer to do the work on this with my left hand in a cast, so they're coming over here instead. They're bringing Chinese from the place we like."

"That works for me."

Kurt rolled his neck around in a circle a few times.

"Before they get here, leave that for a few minutes and let me give you a shoulder rub."

"Oh, God that would be great." He placed the bodice gently to the side and went into their bedroom. He stripped off his shirt and plopped face down on the bed.

Sebastian chuckled. "A bit of melodrama?"

"Of course. My hand is in a freaking cast and I want to keep my placement in the advanced group. I need to have the bodice done by Monday and I still want to do our weekend stuff together."

Sebastian stepped back out and grabbed the arnica and the lotion Kurt told him to use so he could put clothes on afterwards and not need to shower first. He went back in the room and climbed on the bed and straddled Kurt. "I'm going to put more of the arnica on you before you get up."

"Can you do that first? It still hurts when you do it and if you do it last, I'll just tense up again."

"Of course." Sebastian put both tubes and the wet wipe pack on the bed, climbed back over Kurt, and got situated. A few minutes later, he wiped his fingers off and moved to the shoulder and neck massage.

* * *

Kurt woke up a bit groggy and he could hear people talking. It took him a second to focus.

"How's he doing?" Santana asked.

"He's tough. He doesn't complain, except the cast is slowing down his sewing, which was aggravating him. I gave him a shoulder rub and he fell asleep. His eye is looking a lot better. He's been putting arnica on it and I've been putting it on his back, which looks better too."

Dani asked, "How long does he have to have the cast?"

"Three to four weeks."

Santana sighed. "Damn, that's like most of the summer class he's taking."

"Yep. Let me go get him so we can eat. He's going to sew on the bodice he was working on while we watch movies."

Dani said, "I'll go get him."

Sebastian nodded.

She knocked on the door gently, even though it was partially open. He was sitting on the edge of the bed buttoning his shirt.

"Hey. You're awake. We're getting ready to eat."

"I finished the rest of the song."

"Really? That's exciting."

"It's for three girls, but I want to sing it with you and Santana. I'll need you to play guitar."

"No problem. We can take the music home with us and learn it. I'm excited to see the whole thing." She turned to go back into the kitchen. "Let's eat while it's hot."

Kurt followed her in and sat down. They talked while they ate.

"I've decided to go to school this fall," Santana said. "I'm going to study Public and International Affairs. I've lived here just long enough to see that a lot of things need to change. I've never had trouble getting people to listen to me and I've decided that I'm just going to go all the way and use my bitch powers for everyone else's good as well as my own."

"That's an interesting field," Kurt said. "I don't really know what you do with a degree in it, but if it interests you, go for it."

"I still have enough money from what my parents gave me to cover the cost. And I figured I can study while I sit around in the theater every night. I just hated it in Louisville, but I think this will be a lot better. I like it here in New York City. As for what to do with it, I'm thinking maybe being a publicist or part of a PR team and maybe eventually politics when I'm older. People are working themselves to an early grave here. I mean look what you were doing and still are doing. You were working the equivalent of a full-time job, plus another part-time job and going to school. You're still working full-time and going to school. People can’t just work like that until they're 70. Minimum wage just has to be raised in New York City. The cost of living here is insane."

Kurt smiled and thought about the influence someone like Santana could have if she could harness it. "Snixx could kick butt and make big changes for a lot of people who deserve it if you can keep her bitchiness down just below the level of truly pissing people off. I'm glad for you, really," Kurt said. "I really think you could make a big difference."

"I know. I know. I'm trying. I think I can do this."


	37. Chapter 37

By two weeks later, Kurt had been fed up with his hand being in a cast for far too long. He was annoyed by how much is slowed down his sewing because he couldn't turn his wrist to position his left hand the way he was used to – the way that was most practical. Due to sheer pig-headedness, Kurt had managed to keep up with what he was assigned. He went in for his 3-week follow up and was told that he needed to do less and take it easy and to come back in 10 days for another follow-up appointment.

He had missed two hours of work at the shop to go to the appointment that he thought he'd be returning from cast-free. He walked back into the shop really frustrated, but took a few deep breaths before he went to find Jared in the bay area working on a car.

"Hey, Jared?"

He slid out from under the car. "What's up, Kurt?" It took him a second to process the fact that Kurt had a bright red cast on his hand. "You have a new cast."

"Yeah, about that. I was told that I've not been letting it rest enough. I have an appointment again in 10 days to have it x-rayed a gain."

"And the red cast?"

"A fit of frustration. I figured if I absolutely hated the way it looked, it would be the perfect reminder to lay off using it so much."

Jared laughed. "So, you need light-duty for the next two weeks basically."

"I do." He pursed his lips and willed himself to relax.

"Too bad you have school. You could get Sebastian to go back to Florida with you and relax there."

"Yeah, but I have three classes, including Advanced Costume Design. I'm going to have to enlist him or maybe two of my other friends to help me hold the fabric so I can sew without putting so much stress on my hand."

"Sounds terrible, but I pay people to sew my buttons back on when they fall off because when I've tried it myself, they just fall off again the next week." He laughed at himself.

Kurt shook his head. "I could teach you."

"Well, that might save me some money in the long run. I'll think about it."

"I really need to do well. My professor is quite well known and I know for a fact that a lot of people go to her with projects and she can't possibly do them all herself, so she refers people on to her best students. Doing well in that class could get me professional paid work in the future, the near future even."

He nodded. He thought for a few seconds. "Buzz has been wanting to take a couple of days off. How about I talk to him and see what I can arrange. I can only pay you what he makes for the time that you're doing his job at the front desk, but it would be better than taking the time off with no pay. He could have 4-day weekend. He might go for that."

Kurt nodded. "Thanks. I'm really sorry."

"Hey, Kurt, relax. You did the right thing that night. Sometimes doing the right thing hurts, but that doesn't make it less right. Hopefully, if you let up, your hand will heal up the rest of the way sooner and you can get back to doing things quicker. If you don't do what you're told, you're just going to drag it out longer."

Kurt nodded. "Let me know what you figure out." He turned and walked out of the bay area and out through the customer service area to the sidewalk.

Once he was outside, he walked towards the flat.

He decided that he was still going to make dinner for Sebastian like he had planned. He just needed to come up with a plan. An idea popped into his head. He had seen a recipe for one-pot burrito bowls and emailed it to himself. He pulled it up on his phone and headed to Mercado sin mancha and bought everything he needed that they didn't have at home already.

When he got home, he prepared the full recipe so they would have leftovers for the weekend. While he was cooking, he called Dani.

"What's up, babe?"

"I need a favor."

"Sure."

"Well, I've been told to take it easy on my hand and I got cast 2.0 today which is bigger and more annoying than cast 1.0 was. I'm going to need someone to help me with holding some of the things I need to do needlework on. I honestly think we might be able to get it so you can read while you hold what I'm doing the stitches on. That is if you're willing."

"Sure, babe. No biggie. I'm sure we can come up with something. Plus, I got the audiobook for the book I'm supposed to be reading for my history class. I can just plug in my earphones and listen while I hold whatever you're sewing on. Problem solved."

"You're the best. You know that right?"

"I do. But thanks for saying so. Santana and I are ready to perform that song with you, by the way."

"How about later tonight? It will be super dead at that karaoke place we went to that one time, so if we mess up, it won't be a huge deal. Or maybe we should practice it here first."

"I vote for doing it at your place first. We'll practice in your spare room. Sebastian can wear headphones while we practice and then we'll perform it for him as our first live audience."

"Sure. How about 7:00?"

"We'll be there."

"Thank you. I really appreciate you dropping everything you might have had planned and coming to help me."

"Would you stop acting like I solved world hunger because I'm a decent person?"

Kurt was stunned silent.

"Kurt, babe. I'm sorry. Listen. We're friends, like real friends. The kind you've not really had before. I need to remember that. You do things for me. I do things for you. It's all good. If I were there, I'd hug you. Now, cheer up because we're going to sound awesome on your song. We'll see you in a few hours."

"Okay."

"Love you, babe. Ciao!" She disconnected.

Kurt stood still, just holding the phone. He refocused, put the phone in his pocket and went back to cooking. He thought about what she had said. She was absolutely right that he still had not become accustomed to a friendship that didn't involve keeping score on how many times the other person had helped you out. And one where whatever he did was never worth as much as what other people did. One night of Rachel making dinner had been worth at least a week of Kurt making dinner.

He took another deep breath. He thought he was past all of that. And he realized that he was past feeling aggravated and annoyed about it. It was in the past, and he had moved on.

What he didn't realize was that he hadn't yet moved on enough to accept friendship on equal footing. He wasn't at the bottom of the heap groveling for a bit of attention from Dani. They were equal and what they did for each other depended on what needed done, not on who had helped the other person the most or in a more worthwhile way.

It felt good, but he knew that he needed to keep working on it, just like his song said.

* * *

Sebastian came in the door a few minutes after 5:30. Kurt was sitting on the sofa reading his history textbook. Sebastian zoomed around the corner and stopped, sliding a bit in his socks.

"Babe, it smells amazing in here. What did you make for dinner?"

"It's a surprise. It will be done in five minutes."

He dropped his bag next to the sofa and straddled Kurt's lap. He took his textbook and put it on the cushion down a ways. He put his hands on the back of the sofa, caging Kurt. He leaned down and kissed him. "Good afternoon, beautiful. I missed you."

Kurt smiled. "Well, I've been thinking about your all afternoon."

Sebastian looked down. "Either my brain is playing some kind of color-size trick on me or that new red cast is bigger than the black one was."

"No trompe l'oeil. Your assertion is quite accurate. I was admonished for doing too much and not letting my hand rest enough to heal properly. Jared's going to let me know about working customer service Friday, Saturday, and Monday – for minimum wage. If not, then, I'm just off without pay."

"Is the red the physical manifestation of the anger you were feeling as your hand was recast?"

"It is. Ten days with the red cast on."

"I'm envisioning you wearing a lot of navy."

Kurt laughed. "You know me so well. I invited Dani and Santana over. I need some help with my sewing and I know you have a lot of schoolwork."

"That's true, but I'd still help you if I can."

"I know. You're sweet like that." He pulled Sebastian closer and kissed him.

The timer went off on the oven.

"Dinner's done. Up you go."

Sebastian stood back up and kissed Kurt once he was standing up. He followed him into the kitchen and washed and dried his hands and grabbed two plates. Kurt put the stuffed red and yellow peppers on their plates and Sebastian carried them to the already set table.

"This looks amazing. My deductive reasoning skills tell me that you went to Mercado sin mancha this afternoon."

"I did indeed." He poured them glasses of ice water and sat down. "I tasted a bite of it before I stuffed the peppers. It's really good. I packed up the rest up for this weekend."

"Good idea. I have quite a bit of work to do tonight, but I can do it while they're helping you with your project. After we eat, could we snuggle for a while on the sofa?"

Kurt waggled his eyebrows and winked. "You read my mind."

"A super power with a double-edged sword. I think I'll pass."

"Yeah, not the super power that I'd pick either."

"This seems like a topic you've thought about a lot. Do tell."

"Well, I have only seen _Stars Wars_ once, but the Jedi can wave their hands and put a thought into someone's mind. I think it would be super fun to have the power to do that with the stipulation that the power can't make anyone do anything harmful to themselves or others."

"So, explain how this would work."

"So, let's say you see someone wearing a $2000 overcoat and $400 shoes and they're standing inline behind a young mom in line at the grocery store. I could move my hand in a discreet way and think, 'Pay for that mom's groceries.' And the rich man would just step up and offer to do it."

"I don't think I've ever heard anyone come up with such a cool super power."

"What would you pick? I'm assuming you've pondered this question as well."

"Well, if you had asked when I was young, I would have said the ability to fly like Superman because I just thought that was the coolest thing ever. He could just stand on the ground and propel himself into the air. I thought it would be the most amazing thing to just decide I was going to go visit my grandparents and the rest of my family in Paris and just fly there and eat dinner with them or go spend the weekend and just fly right back home when I was ready to."

"Your explanation makes your choice make so much sense. What would you pick now?"

"I can never quite decide, but quite often I think I'd like to have the ability to work like a human transporter."

"Like in _Star Trek_?"

"Exactly. But the details are vague. I think I'd like it to be able to work if I can see the scene, even if it's just through a phone. But at the same time, I wouldn't want this power because I know I would feel like I'd have to use it every moment of every day. It would overtake my life. I'd have people contacting me 24/7 about situations that are dire that can't be solved without teleportation powers. People in wrecks, fires, fights, you name it. So, it would be amazing and terrible because every call I missed I would feel responsible for a negative outcome."

"The double-edged sword again."

"Yes. I need to think about it again. Your idea is cool and no one gets hurt and it wouldn't overtake your life because it only works when you're involved and you wouldn't get contacted by anyone because you'd be completely anonymous. Very creative." He put the last bite in his mouth. "This was delicious. We definitely need to keep the recipe."

"It was actually super easy too."

"Even better. I love to cook, but sometimes we just need something fast." He took Kurt's plate and put them in the dishwasher. He turned and kissed Kurt who was waiting to put their glasses in. He took them and put them in as well. He turned back and wrapped his arms around Kurt. "Snuggle me?"

Kurt kissed him. "Of course."

* * *

"So, let's have that talk about my lack of sexual experience that you found to be strange – the talk I put off a couple of week ago."

"Okay."

"First off, I want to thank you for not pushing and for giving me time to work through a few things before we talked about it."

"Just so you know, I'm not pushing for you to tell me this. Just because I find something to be unusual or I'm curious about something does not mean that I'm entitled to an explanation. You're allowed to share or not share as you feel comfortable doing."

Kurt nodded. "I think this will help you understand me, so I'm going to tell you."

"Okay."

"When my dad gave me 'The Talk', he had pamphlets to explain the physical aspects. His talk was about intimacy, but he never actually used the word itself. He told me that having sex felt great, but that it would affect more than my body – that it would affect my heart as well. He talked about how having sex was a way to connect with someone. I listened, and I took his words to heart. I was really hesitant on the whole idea of sex anyway. Letting anyone that close to me was completely unappealing. I had zero experience with anyone being trustworthy enough to agree to take my clothes off with them."

"I get that."

"Anyway, when he talked to me about sex, it solidified what I already thought about it. It was something that two people who really cared about each other did together. I wasn't comfortable with the idea of one-night stands or even kissing someone I didn't know pretty well. So, I wasn't ready the night I told Blaine that I was. That was on me. But I was already really deep into the 'Only Blaine will ever tolerate me' frame of mind by then. I had let myself be changed by Dalton and Blaine when I had never let the bullies at McKinley change me. I clapped back to their bullying with verbal taunts of how they would work for me one day. I wore what I damn well pleased and didn't give a care what they thought. After I met Blaine, that changed. Eventually, he became more important to me than myself. Giving him what he wanted was more important than waiting until I felt ready."

Sebastian didn't interrupt. He paid careful attention as Kurt spoke.

"After we had sex that night, I didn't feel what I thought I would. I didn't feel any closer to him emotionally. I actually felt more alone because I didn't have anyone to talk to about how I felt about what had happened. I chalked it up to inexperience and tried to feel okay about it. Blaine seemed fine with it, so I decided that it must be me that had the issue. I worked at assigning positive thoughts, emotions, and feelings to the activity that weren't happening naturally. I thought that maybe I was just not letting go enough to feel what other people felt, maybe I was in my head too much and not in the moment. I'm not saying that it didn't feel good. It just didn't feel like a bond was created between us in any way."

"I get that because my arrangement with Jean excluded doing any of the relationship type things. So, it was specifically designed to be what you just described – a physical release for a physical urge. What you're describing sounds a lot like a friends with benefits arrangement."

"But it was supposed to be more than that. I put my all into it and was a generous lover, but my efforts were met with none of the reciprocity that I had expected. I thought our overall level of intimacy and physical contact would go up, but he was still just as uninterested in holding my hand at school, even in the choir room. A lot of the time, he didn't even sit with me when it was the only class we had together, even though most of it was after school. And when he only lasted two weeks before he turned to someone else to sleep with, it really shot me through the heart. I had loved him with everything in me and I gave him something I wasn't really ready to give to him, but I did it because I loved him and I wanted to make him happy."

"And you thought he'd turn to me."

Kurt looked up. "Stop that. At the time, I did see you as competition, but in all honestly I should never have had to compete for what was supposedly already mine."

"That's true. Even if I _had_ wanted him, it wouldn't have been for a relationship, it would have been a rebound for Jean. And I would have stuck with him just long enough to fuck out my frustrations out and move on. I wasn't ready for a relationship then. So, at most it would have been another friends with benefits situation."

Kurt snorted. "He wouldn't have accepted anything less than your full attention."

"Which is why it probably wouldn't have lasted longer than a week of fucking and I would have ended the arrangement because he would have been needy and clingy and I didn't have it in me to be a good partner to someone then."

"Most likely true. He needs to be the center of attention."

"Back to what we were talking about. Can you pinpoint something about the experience that made it not be what you expected?"

"The general lack of intimacy."

"There's more meaning behind that statement than I'm getting from just the words."

Kurt took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "He and I never made out like you and I do. This." Kurt motioned indicating how they were sitting. "This kind of thing never happened. You know, he never complimented me or made comments about being attracted to me? He never said anything about my overall level of attractiveness, like I was hot or cute. He once said I was adorable when I was nervous before Regionals. Not really a libido inducing statement. Oh, when I was in Lima the week before the proposal, he told me I looked 'dirty cute'. Whatever that means. I think it was Blaine-speak for 'Since you're in Lima, will you fuck me like you did a month ago?' I'm not sure what else it was supposed to mean. I was meeting with Mercedes and Mike to have coffee before going to my dad's oncology appointment with him and Carole. I'm not sure how Blaine knew I was meeting them, but he skipped school and was there. He said _that_ to me, and then sat across the table from me making heart eyes and putting his hand on mine when I was fiddling with the sugar packets."

Sebastian remembered his nervous habit from the day they were in the coffee shop after they left Dalton.

"There is no mistaking that you and I are together. You put your hands on me in public all the time. While we've been sitting here, you've pulled me closer several times. There is no ambiguity about whether we are friends or dating. You take drinks from my straw. You take bites off of the food I offer you. You skewer the mushrooms off my plate and eat them when you think I'm not looking." He smiled and pecked Sebastian on the lips. "It's clear that you're with me. He was never like that."

"Mmm." He kissed Kurt. "I like your cooties," he teased.

"You're a goof."

"But I'm your goof."

"That's true. I love you so much." He pressed in and kissed Sebastian again. "You asked what's behind the words 'lack of intimacy'. It's all those things I just mentioned. Plus–" he signed heavily. "–whenever we had sex, it was all about him. He had ideas about how he wanted it to be. I gave him what he wanted. And he clearly enjoyed it, but it always seemed to be about the ways that he wanted me to touch him. None of it involved him reciprocating. It was me doing all of the work from behind. I could reach his back and neck, but there was no kissing. He didn't touch me. He wouldn't wash the gel out of his hair. Even the two times he tried riding me, he came before I did and he climbed off and lay down beside me and fell asleep."

"Wait, he just left you hanging and took a nap?"

"Fairly frequently, yes. I'd get up and shower in his en suite bathroom and finish myself off, if I was still in the mood. I'd get dressed and leave. I couldn't spend the night at his place, even after I graduated. So, I'd go over and we'd fool around and it felt good, but it was very transactional or peformative."

"I think I hate him now. He's an awful person."

"I stayed in an unfulfilling relationship because I thought anything was better than nothing. I thought he was the only one who would put up with me and that I should accept what I was being offered. I tried to believe that things would get better with time. I've realized that I was wrong about that. I deserved better from the start."

Sebastian kissed him gently, building in intensity.

When they broke for air, Sebastian said, "You absolutely did." He went back to kissing Kurt. "I love you and I know that you love me." He kissed up Kurt's neck. "And I'll tell you now that I don't fall asleep afterwards."

"Oh, really?"

"Really. And I will definitely make sure that you've been satisfied. Us being together will be mutually enjoyable and repeat worthy."

""Well, that will be welcome and new. Do you have any idea how turned on I am right now? I seriously need a cold shower before the girls get here."

"How about a nice warm shower – with me?" To the tune of the _Ghostbusters_ theme he sang:

_I ain't afraid of no cast._

Kurt cracked up. "I love you so much." Kurt got up and reached out for Sebastian. He offered to pull him up.

Sebastian took his hand and managed to spin him and divest him of his t-shirt in one smooth move. He kissed across his shoulders. "I love you too." He pulled his own shirt off and hopped over the sofa so he was just steps from the bathroom door.

Kurt laughed and went around the end of the sofa to follow him in.


	38. Chapter 38

Kurt stepped into the shower and pulled the shower curtain closed behind him. Sebastian turned the sprayer on him as soon as the curtain was closed.

"Bas! This isn't a water fight." Kurt's voice gave away his excitement. He turned to face Sebastian with a huge smile on his face.

"I know. I waited until the curtain was shut so I wouldn't get the wall wet when I sprayed you." He hung the sprayer back and reached out to Kurt. "Can I hug you, please?"

Kurt took his hand and stepped closer. "I love the shower you chose for this place, in case I've never told you. It's so nice and roomy." He let Sebastian wrap his arms around him. He slipped his arms under Sebastian's and wrapped them around his upper back.

"Me too. I figured that I'd never been one to take a bath very often, but it might be really relaxing." He pulled them both under the showerhead. He kissed along Kurt's neck. "I just want you to know that I love you."

"I know. I see it in your eyes. You show me every day. I love you too, you know that, right?"

Sebastian nodded. "You're beautiful. Every bit of you."

"You're so gorgeous. I'd love to stand in here for ages with you, but we need to at least be dressed when they get here."

Sebastian reached out and grabbed Kurt's shampoo. "Then we better get started with the washing." He lathered up Kurt's hair. He styled it into a mohawk. "I'm pretty sure you could pull off the skank look. A few ear piercings. A few more tattoos. Maybe black, no red tips in your hair."

"Hmm. How about a tongue piercing?"

"Hot, but I think it would be terrible for your diction."

"But in the future it'd be great for your d–"

Sebastian pressed a kiss to Kurt's lips before he could finish the word. "You have a potty mouth," Sebastian teased him as he pulled back.

"I'm 20 years old, I think I can say 'dick' without getting my mouth washed out with soap, not that anyone ever did that to me, but I heard my dad tell stories about it happening to him."

Sebastian grabbed the sprayer and rinsed Kurt's hair.

"You're going to spoil me. I love having my hair washed."

"Who else has washed your hair?"

"Only the people at whatever hair salon I go to, but it's definitely the highlight of my visit."

"Good to know."

Kurt picked up Sebastian's shampoo and lathered up his hair. He gave Sebastian a mohawk as well. "Hmm. I'm not so sure about you and the mohawk, but you could definitely pull off some tattoos, maybe a few days beard growth. You're totally hot no matter what." He rinsed Sebastian's hair. He kissed him before he put the showerhead back in the holder. "Now, what?"

"We wash each other?"

"Really?"

"Oh, I'm all for it if you are. I'd love to get my hands all over you, but only if that's what you want too."

Kurt nodded. "I do. Your hands have been all over most of me already. I loved every second of it." He reached for the washcloth he had brought in with him and soaped it up with Sebastian's body wash.

Sebastian did the same.

Ten minutes later, they were holding onto each other in an embrace that left no space between them at all. Both worked to catch their breath.

"Oh, my God," Kurt said, "Please tell me you enjoyed that as much as I did."

"Oh, definitely." He reached up and grabbed the showerhead again and rinsed them off. Once the sprayer was back up, Sebastian kissed him sweetly. "We need to get dried off and dressed or Santana will tease us relentlessly all evening."

"She probably will anyway, but I don't even care. I love you. Thank you for making this amazing."

"I'll say thank you in return. This has been, by far, my favorite shower in my whole life."

Kurt stepped out and grabbed Sebastian's towel first and handed it to him before grabbing his own, drying off, and wrapping it around his waist.

"Mine too." 

Sebastian took the towel and dried off.

Kurt moved to the sink and washed his face quickly and moisturized it. He brushed his teeth with Sebastian standing at the second sink next to him. He glanced over and winked at him, enjoying their domesticity of doing things like shaving and brushing their teeth at the same time that had become routine over the last couple of weeks.

"I think we should look for some bath salts or whatever we need to soak in the tub when you get your cast off."

"That's sounds amazing. We can do that after the flea market Sunday morning. Don't forget we're meeting Isabelle for a few estate sales she's found."

"I remember. Aunt Izzie couldn't be more happy with my choice in boyfriend, you know. She thought she was going to lose you, but now she's convinced that you don't have it in you to," he switched to imitating Isabelle, "break my heart and leave me empty-handed or with another incompetent PA."

Kurt snorted. "What a line. As if there are no fashion majors in this town who would gladly murder me for my job. Surely one of them has to be capable."

"Nope, that won't do." Sebastian's tone changed abruptly to being very serious. "I'll tell her that you're quitting effective immediately. I can't have my favorite person in the world working a job that people are willing to kill for, especially not for minimum wage. She's definitely going to have to work on getting you a raise if you're life could be endangered by keeping it."

Kurt kept laughing. "I dare you to tell her that." He stepped to the left and waited for Sebastian to look at him. He kissed him. "Ready to get dressed?"

"Why did you invite them here anyway? I might have been able to convince you to snuggle with me naked for a while."

"Oh, you can still do that, but just not right now."

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist and began to dance around the bathroom, dancing them through the alcove and into their room.

_I know you. I walked with you once upon a dream.  
I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam.  
And I know that visions are seldom all they seem.  
If I know you, I know what you'll do.  
You'll love me at once,  
The way that you did once upon a dream._

He stopped inside their closet and they kissed instead of choosing clothes like they needed to. They broke apart when they heard knocking on their door. Sebastian pulled a t-shirt on over his head and grabbed a pair of shorts. He stopped in front of the dresser and grabbed some boxer briefs, put them on, and slipped his shorts on as fast as he could. He headed for the door, buttoning and zipping his shorts as he rounded the kitchen wall, and let them in once he had looked through the peephole.

"Welcome ladies," he said as he opened the door for them.

"Seb," Santana said. She looked him up and down, and raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

She and Dani went into the living room. Kurt came out from their bedroom wearing a t-shirt and shorts as well.

Sebastian moved to stand behind him, wrapping his arms around him and propping his chin on Kurt's right shoulder.

"You weren't kidding, babe," Dani said, as she picked Kurt's left hand up to examine it. "You better behave this time or they're going to put one on that covers your fingers and elbow."

"No. No. Definitely not. I'm going to be good and let it heal up so I can get this damn thing off."

Santana looked back and forth between the two of them. "It hasn't seemed to slow handies in the shower, though."

Kurt glared at her. He was not going to let her demean his relationship with Sebastian. He was still on a high from their time in the shower. "Snixx isn't welcome here. We've had this talk already," he said with a tone of finality.

"You're right, Kurt. I'm sorry. That was out of line. You're happy and that's what counts. You deserve to be ridiculously happy."

Kurt said, "I am." He leaned back into Sebastian.

Dani broke the tension. "So where are we practicing?"

Santana said, "I suggested their extra bedroom, but I hadn't considered that Sebastian's desk is in there. So, out here, and he goes in there to do his homework?"

Sebastian kissed the side of Kurt's neck and stepped back. "Sure. That's easier for me. My homework is mostly solving problems, which is easier at my desk."

"Wear headphones so you can hear us for the first time after we practice a few times," Kurt said.

"Headphones will go on. No ruining my serenade." He let go of Kurt and went into the spare room and closed the door.

"I really am sorry, Kurt. It's none of my business."

"It's not, but it was glorious. Let's run through the song a couple of times."

Dani pulled her guitar out and put the strap on. She tuned it just slightly. "I'll play what I came up with from when we talked about what you wanted the guitar part to sound like." She played through the first verse, just lightly singing along.

"Oh, my God, Dani. It's perfect. Absolutely perfect. How did you do that? It's like you could hear what I had imagined."

"You played it on my keyboard. I got a feel for what you were looking for from that. Are we reading to sing?"

Kurt nodded and she started the intro.

* * *

A half-hour later, Kurt went to get Sebastian. He knocked gently and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. Sebastian saw the door move out of his peripheral vision and slipped the headphones off and turned his iPod off.

"We're ready, if you're at a point where you can take a break."

He stood up and stretched, the hem of his shirting lifting just enough that Kurt could see a strip of skin between it and the top of Sebastian's shorts.

"See something you like?" Sebastian smirked and winked at him.

"More than like. I see someone I love." Kurt stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Sebastian's lower back, slipping his thumbs up underneath the edge of his shirt. He caressed the soft skin and tipped his head up and kissed Sebastian. _I'm a lucky man._ He sighed happily. "Very much."

"I love you too. And now's fine. I'm actually almost done. There were fewer problems in tonight's problem set, plus I did a few this afternoon while I was waiting for my lab partner to show up. One more kiss though."

Kurt smiled and kissed him.

Sebastian sat down on the sofa and faced the wall with the table along it. Kurt stood in the middle with Santana to his right and Dani to his left.

"So, I wrote this song and I gave Dani an idea of what I wanted it to sound like and she magically turned my description and brief keyboard demonstration into an amazing guitar accompaniment."

Kurt sang the lead through the whole song with Santana taking the higher harmony and Dani taking the lower harmony throughout.

_Never given half a chance.  
'Cause I've never been the chosen one.  
Never liked compliments,  
'Cause it's always been so hard believin' them._

_You say I'm beautiful,  
And I say you're full of it.  
Nothing personal,  
I'm still not used to this._

_But I'm workin' on, workin' on it.  
Workin' on, workin' on it.  
I've been workin' on, workin' on it.  
Workin' on, workin' on it._

_Tryin' to be good to me.  
I should give myself way more love.  
I'm my worst enemy.  
I'm the voice who says, "I'm not good enough."_

_Tryin' to see what you see,  
When you look at me.  
I've been workin' on, workin' on it.  
Workin' on, workin' on it._

_Yeah, I'm tryin', I'm tryin', I'm tryin',  
To see what you see.  
Yeah, I'm tryin', I'm tryin', I'm tryin',  
For you and for me, yeah._

_But I'm workin' on, workin' on it.  
Workin' on, workin' on it.  
I've been workin' on, workin' on it.  
Workin' on, workin' on it._

Sebastian didn't make it through the second verse before his heart both swelled and broke simultaneously. Kurt had written a song about his struggles to return to loving himself and trying to see himself through Sebastian's eyes to help him see his value. The three of them sang the last chorus a cappella and their harmonies were just so beautiful, just like Kurt.

"That was amazing and beautiful and you all sound so good together."

Kurt asked, "So you liked it?"

"More than like." He repeated Kurt's phrase from a few minutes earlier. "I love it. I think we should go out to that karaoke place with the open mic. I think you should sing it for everyone to hear. I don't have to turn my problem sets in. I can do the others tomorrow or never. I understand how to do them."

"Really?"

"Really," Sebastian said with complete confidence. "Let's go change into something less beach-worthy and more karaoke style." He got up. "You two already look great. There's some lemonade in the fridge. Help yourself while we go change."

He saw Santana practically physically bite her tongue, but she didn't make a snide remark. "Thanks." She headed into the kitchen and poured the two of them a glass. They sat down at the table to wait.

Sebastian followed Kurt into their bedroom. He shut the door behind him and turned back to find himself facing Kurt.

"You're not just saying or doing this to make me feel better, right?"

"No. I think people will like the song, honestly. I think there are a lot of people who feel like you did. You don't still feel that way do you? The song is truthful, right?"

"I don't feel like that as much. The whole song is about it being a process. I'm still working on it. But every time we're together, I'm the slightest bit more convinced. You make me feel attractive and desired."

"Good. Because you are. You've just learned to block out what's around you to be able to focus, which was a great skill, but you don't see how other guys look at you. I do, but I appreciate that you don't pay them any attention."

Kurt pushed him back until he was against the door. "Why would I any attention to anyone else when I have you?" He kissed him and pressed in licking his upper lip.

Sebastian moaned and pulled Kurt tight against him.

"You have nothing to worry about."

"I know."

"Good. As much as I am enjoying this, we came in here to change because you wanted to go out to the karaoke place."

Sebastian pecked him on the lips and let his hands slip down. "You have a fantastic ass."

"Thank you." He stepped away. "Closet. Come on." Kurt stepped in and looked through his clothes. "The girls are both wearing black." He grabbed a red belt and a red scarf. He put on a pair of red pants the same shade as his cast, a black belt, and a black shirt with a tiny red fleur-de-lis pattern. He grabbed his regular black Docs, stopping to sit on his bench to put them on, and then he headed to the bathroom to style his hair quickly.

Sebastian noted the colors Kurt had chosen and put on some black jeans and a gray button up. He didn't mess with his hair much since it was cut fairly short. He brushed it and spritzed in a little hairspray.

Fifteen minutes later, Dani was wearing the belt, Santana had the scarf on, and they all headed out together.

* * *

They sat in the audience for about 15 minutes before their names came up. The three of them situated themselves on stage like they had in the living room. Dani started the intro and they sang out loud and clear. By the chorus, people were starting to get into it and by the end, they got a nice round of applause. They bowed slightly and went back to their seats.

In less than a minute, a guy with Kurt's approximate build came rushing up to their table. "Oh, my God, Kurt. That was fantastic!"

Kurt looked up, somewhat started at who would be so excited and he immediately said, "Chandler?"

"The one and only. That song was amazing! You wrote it didn't you?"

"I did. And thank you." He looked at Santana.

She began to say something and stopped dead in her tracks. "I'm Santana. And this Dani my girlfriend. Kurt and I went to high school together. Dani and I met here when I moved here in January."

"It's nice to meet another former Lima resident." He extended his hand. "Chandler Kiehl."

"This is my boyfriend, Sebastian."

Sebastian extended his hand to shake Chandler's. "Why don't you have a seat? It will be easier to talk that way."

Chandler grabbed an empty chair from another table and put it between Kurt and Santana.

"I'm sorry about blocking you without saying anything. That was really rude of me," Kurt said.

"So, I'm right," Santana said.

"Yes," Kurt answered.

"Right about what, babe?" Dani asked.

"Oh, Kurt and Chandler met back in Lima once at the music store."

"We did," Chandler said. "Kurt was wearing this amazing outfit with this insanely cute hippo brooch. When you blocked me, I figured your boyfriend didn't approve of my puns. They got on people's nerves. I've mostly given them up. They were just supposed to make people smile anyway."

"It was because of my boyfriend, but I broke up with him over nine months ago. Sebastian won't go ballistic if you text me puns."

"Definitely not."

"Ballistic?" Chandler asked. "I'm afraid to ask."

Santana spoke up. "He publicly accused Kurt of cheating on him and sang the angriest imaginable version of 'It's Not Right, But It's Okay' in front of our entire Glee Club.

"Enough talk of my public humiliation. So, you got into NYU, I take it?"

"I did. I love it there. LOVE it. Where are you going? NYADA?"

"I was, but I'm transferring to another program. Long story."

"Okay. I actually came over here to see if you'd sing the song again and give me a chance to play the drums. The rhythmic clapping through the middle was great, but I think some drums coming in around the same time could sound amazing."

"Don't you think people will mind if we sing the same song again?"

"Not if we wait like an hour. We could sing something else in between. Do you sing, Sebastian?"

"He does. He was the lead Warbler for the past two years." Kurt purposely left off anything about Hunter.

"Awesome. Now I know why you look familiar. The lack of uniform threw me off. You were great at Regionals last year."

"Thanks."

"My senior year, I went to watch Sectionals and Regionals since they were at McKinley. North Lima doesn't have a show choir."

"I see," Sebastian said. "So you got to see Kurt and Santana sing too then."

"Wait, you were one of the leads of the all-girls group that sang."

"That was me."

"Is the other girl that sang lead with you here in New York too?"

Kurt shook his head no. "She got a contract singing back up on an indie label in LA. She's out there recording a CD."

"Wow. That's impressive." He switched topics as fast as he talked. "So, Sebastian, you're a tenor. I'm a baritone. Santana is a mezzo soprano and Dani is an alto?"

"Close enough," Santana said. "What did you have in mind?"

"There's an electric guitar up there. Can you play it, Dani?"

"I can."

"How about 'What Makes you Beautiful'? We can turn the karaoke words and chords on."

Kurt heard his name called and then Sebastian's. He turned to look at Sebastian.

"I signed us up. Come sing with me."

"I guess we'll be right back."

As soon as they were out of hearing range. "His old boyfriend actually did what you said?" he asked Santana.

"Yes. And the worst part was that we all believed him. We sided with him over Kurt. Kurt sang 'I Have Nothing' as an apology like two days later. We never saw the texts, but Blaine insisted that he was cheating with you."

"Wow. No wonder he blocked me. I texted him stupid puns for a few days. Maybe three tops before my calls wouldn't go through anymore. I annoy a lot of people, so I just let it go. I feel bad now."

"Don't. That jackass slept with someone two weeks after Kurt came here last fall. Blamed him for it."

"Who would be stupid enough to cheat on Kurt? He's gorgeous and funny."

"So, you're gay."

"I am, but I'm not a homewrecker. At least not intentionally. Sebastian's not like his other boyfriend, right."

Santana answered, "Nope. Not at all."

Kurt and Sebastian started to sing "Now That I See You".

Dani cooed. "God, they're cute together."

When they finished, a guy took their place and totally changed the vibe of the evening decked out in a tux with and a top hat, eyeliner, and some goth platform boots. He introduced himself as Starchild and performed a show-stopping version of "Marry the Night".

Kurt and Sebastian stopped on the way back to the table to watch. When he finished, they moved quickly to their seats.

"Well, that was something," Chandler said.

"It was," Kurt agreed. "So are we going to give Chandler's idea a chance?"

No one seemed to be opposed.

Chandler hopped up and signed them up. When he sat back down, he said, "Done. There's only two more before we're up for 'What Makes You Beautiful'. It's mostly sung in unison and it's just fun and upbeat. So where do you go to school, Santana?"

"I don't. I'm the understudy for Fanny right now. I'm starting at Baruch this fall to study Public Relations."

"Cool. Congrats on the understudy role. That's a huge deal."

"Thanks."

Dani answered him next. "I'm a native. I go to Hunter College. I'm a Psychology major. I want to be an adolescent and youth counselor. I'm hoping to do well enough to get a scholarship to NYU for graduate school."

"That's a really awesome goal. There are so many kids who need help that don't get it. What about you, Sebastian?"

"I'm a Physics major at Columbia."

"Brains, talent, and looks. Good for you," Chandler said.

Sebastian chuckled. "And like Dani, I'm hoping to get a Physics placement at Columbia for graduate school to complete the PhD program."

"So, professional student for you and Dani for the next decade," Chandler teased.

Their names were called. They went up and enjoyed themselves. They sat back down for not more than ten minutes before they went back up and tried "Workin' on It" with the additions of Chandler on drums. The crowd was responsive and clapped loudly. They sat back down together.

"That was fun," Dani said. "I'm afraid that Santana and I have to go. I have an early class tomorrow morning."

Kurt said, "Both of us do too."

Chandler offered his phone to Dani to show her his number. "If you ever want a drummer when you come down to sing, give me a call. I'll see if I make it."

Santana said, "I can only come on Mondays."

"Right. Understudy. Mondays are dark," Chandler said.

Dani added his number to her phone. "We'll text you if we decide to come on Monday again sometime."

Sebastian watched the interaction. He slid his phone to Chandler and nudged Kurt to do the same. "Put your number in. I'm not afraid of Kurt being friends with you." When he picked his phone, he texted Chandler. "There. Now, you have my number."

Kurt texted him as well before he slid his phone in his pocket. He put his hand on Sebastian's leg. Sebastian slipped his hand on top of Kurt's after he put his phone back in his pocket.

Kurt said, "It was really nice to run into you, Chandler." He was the first to stand.

The others followed suit.

"It really was," Chandler agreed. "Hopefully we'll get to do it again sometime."

* * *

Kurt stepped inside and Sebastian followed him. He stopped short and waited just inside the door. Sebastian locked it and turned around to find Kurt standing there, waiting for him. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Sebastian and kissed him.

"Mmm. What was that for?"

"Just because I love you. I want to take another shower before we go to bed. I'm all sweaty. It's like an oven outside, even though is after 10."

"Is that a declaration of fact?"

"No, well yes. But I'm inviting you to join me." He didn't wait for an answer. He turned on his heel and headed for the bathroom.

Sebastian double-checked the locks before following him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thank you to angeliceyes24245 who suggested "Workin' on It" back in a comment on chapter 26. The song is by Meghan Trainor, Sasha Sloan, and Lennon Stella. I took the liberty of pretending that Kurt wrote the song in the story. I also changed the first two lines to fit Kurt's life. There are two versions on Spotify, an acoustic one and the regular one.


	39. Chapter 39

Sebastian got home an hour early Thursday afternoon. When he opened the door, he could hear raucous laughing coming from the living room. He locked the door and walked through the kitchen to find Chandler sitting on the ottoman facing Kurt. His legs were directly in front of him, but Kurt's were extended with his calves being nearly pressed against Chandler's hips. Spread across both of their laps was a bunch of fabric that Sebastian could not identify, but he saw a large hoop fastened to it that Chandler was holding with both hands while Kurt was meticulously pushing a needle and thread in and out of the fabric. He was wearing his glasses, so Sebastian knew it was some type of detailed work.

"Hey, sweetie. You're home early. Chandler was nice enough to agree to come hold this for me when Dani got called in to cover a shift at the diner. I have to turn this part in tomorrow morning."

"I'm glad you got someone to help. Someone pulled the fire alarm in the lab building. My professor told us all to just go home because it would take them an hour to clear the building for re-entry. I've got a bunch of problems to solve. You know where to find me." He leaned over and kissed Kurt on the side of his neck as he walked past the back of the sofa. He went into the spare room and closed the door. He came back out a few minutes later and filled his water bottle up and took it back, closing the door again.

"He's really not angry and just good at hiding it, is he?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "No. He's not angry. He's glad, just like he said. He knows how hard having this cast on has been and how important it is to me to do well in this class."

"As long as you're sure. I don't want to be a problem."

"You aren't a problem unless you keep letting the hoop move around like that," he teased.

He looked at his hands. "I didn't–" he started until he saw Kurt let a little grin slip.

Kurt laughed. "Gotcha. You're doing great. I'm going to order Chinese for dinner because it was my night to cook, but I had to get started on this. So think of what you want because I'm treating for dinner for you helping me, even though you said I didn't need to pay you."

"I'd like us to be friends and friends don't pay each other to be helpful, but I won't say no to Szechuan chicken."

"Deal."

An hour later, Kurt went to get Sebastian because the food had arrived. He came out and ate dinner with the two of them. When they finished, Sebastian excused himself and said that he needed to run out for a while to get something. He left, and Kurt and Chandler went back to working on the embroidery.

When Sebastian got home two hours later, Chandler was gone and he could hear the shower running. He put what he had bought on the bed in the spare room and opened the bathroom door.

"Kurt?"

"You're back. Join me?"

"Of course." He stripped where he was standing and joined Kurt.

"You've missed the main event, but I'm always _up_ for a _curtain call_."

"I'm scandalized."

"You're not. From what I can see, you're just as interested in the _curtain call_ as I am."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I thought I was the bawdy one."

"We can take turns," Kurt said, as he gently pushed Sebastian under the sprayer. "You have to get clean first."

Sebastian stepped towards Kurt, who deftly evaded him. He began to sing.

_Touch-a, touch-a, touch me._  
_I want to be dirty._

Kurt laughed. "Not until you're clean."

 _Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me._ Sebastian stepped closer.

Kurt quickly pushed him under the water. Singing new lyrics to the same tune.

_Scrub-a, scrub-a, scrub, you._

Kurt reached up to the end of the shower curtain rod and grabbed the washcloth he'd stashed there in hopes that Sebastian would make it home in time to join him.

"So, you were thinking of me joining you even when I wasn't here?" He took the washcloth from Kurt.

"I think about you a lot of the time." He already had Sebastian's shampoo in his hand.

_I'll put up no resistance. I want to stay the distance.  
I've got an itch to scratch. I need assistance._

Kurt started to lather his hair up.

Sebastian moaned as Kurt massaged his scalp.

"When we did this musical, I certainly didn't play the Creature though."

After he rinsed his hair, he said, "I guess even when you've mentioned doing it, I've never heard you say who you played."

Kurt soaped the washcloth up and began to use it on Sebastian. "I was Riff Raff. Sam was Rocky."

"I can see that. Not because you aren't good-looking enough to play Rocky, but I can't imagine you being anywhere near willing to get up on the stage at McKinley in tiny gold underwear."

"He wore short board shorts, but still. I wouldn't have been willing to wear something so skimpy. I had grown, but I hadn't lost the baby fat, at least in my own opinion. I had nothing in common with Rocky. But you've helped me get a lot more comfortable in my skin."

Sebastian reached out and ran his hands down Kurt's arms. "You are so sexy. I'm glad you're feeling more comfortable." He stepped back under the spray of water, took the showerhead down, and rinsed himself. After he put the sprayer back up, he struck a pose and spun in a circle. "Do I pass? Can I get dirty now?" he teased.

Kurt played along and began to examine him carefully, placing kisses on each spot afterwards. He made his way all the way around and kissed Sebastian on the lips. "Perfect." He kissed him again. "I love you."

Sebastian closed the space between them and kissed down Kurt's neck. "I love you too."

* * *

Kurt was waiting and wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck when he got to the bathroom door and walked backwards, semi-dancing them into their room. He continued to move backwards until his knees were against the edge of the bed and he leaned back, pulling Sebastian down on top of him. Sebastian's towel slipped and he grabbed for it.

'You don't need that anyway," Kurt said. He reached down and untucked the edge of his towel and slid back and encouraged Sebastian to scoot up. He wrapped his hand around the back of Sebastian's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. "Relax. Lie down on me."

"You're sure?"

"Definitely." He kissed him as he lowered himself. "Remember at the bottom of the stairs in the rotunda?"

"Vaguely, yes."

"You complimented me for the first time in your life. You told me that New York looked good on me, but then you hit me with one of your come-ons and told me that you'd look better on me."

He chucked at himself. "I was full of myself. I know. It was all hot air."

"Shh. It's okay." He kissed Sebastian and when they had to pause to take a breath, Kurt said, "You were right about that. You do look good on me."

"Is this leading to where it seems like it is?" Sebastian asked as he kissed down Kurt's neck.

Kurt ran his hand through Sebastian's wet hair. "I was hoping it would lead to a demonstration of that stamina you've boasted about on, oh, so many occasions when you've been teasing me and flirting with me since we've been dating."

"You doubt the veracity of my statements?"

"Oh, not a bit. I'd just like move past the telling to the showing."

"Not a problem, babe." Sebastian thought, _He's ready for round three in less than a half hour. Impressive._ He went back to kissing along Kurt's neck where he knew it drove him crazy. "I see you've kept your prowess a secret for me to discover."

"Had I boasted, no one would have believed me."

Sebastian teased back as he kissed along Kurt's earlobe. "I'll confirm your claims, should you decide to make them public knowledge."

"Maybe you can tell Santana before our 5-year high school reunion. She loves good gossip and knowing things no one else knows. And no amount of tamping down Snixx would keep her from wanting to see the whole lot of them turn red."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said, but all he was thinking about was how Kurt saw them together at his 5-year reunion. He knew Kurt loved him, but knowing Kurt saw them as a long-term couple filled him with a feeling he had never had until that point – security.

* * *

After their second perfunctory shower, Sebastian gave Kurt time to get his boxer briefs on before he put his hands over Kurt's eyes from behind.

"Sweetie, we need to get to bed. It's late and I have to turn that dress in tomorrow."

Sebastian kissed the back of his neck. "I know. Aunt Izzie is stopping by tomorrow morning and taking you and the dress to NYADA."

"That's sweet, but I don't want to inconvenience her."

"I'm not going to call her when she's asleep and tell her not to come."

"True. Why are your hands over my eyes?"

"You'll see." He led him into the spare room. He removed his hands and said, "Surprise!"

Kurt crossed the room and looked at the lap desk and a box on the bed. He moved closer to see what was on the bed, and he saw a large, unassembled, wood quilting frame and wooden hoop stand in a box. His mind went into overdrive. "You don't like Chandler."

Sebastian's expectant face fell to total confusion. "What?"

"You said you were okay with him being my friend, but you aren't." He turned to walk out of the room.

Sebastian moved quickly to block him. "Nope. We aren't fighting about this because I'm completely lost and I can't even begin to fathom what made you say that. Stay. I love you. I like Chandler just fine. What made you say that?" He wrapped his arms around Kurt. "We agreed you wouldn't walk off and shut me out, remember? I don't know what I did wrong."

Kurt took a deep breath. "You can home to find me and Chandler laughing and him sitting really close to me and you ate dinner with us, but didn't say much. You left right afterwards, despite saying that you had a lot of problems to do, and you didn't come back until after he had left. You brought back equipment to make sure he never had to come back and help me again."

"Oh, babe. It's not like that at all. I'm sorry. I didn't think how it would look. I came in here to start on my problem sets and I couldn't focus because I was upset about what would have happened if Chandler hadn't been available to come help you when Dani had to go to work this afternoon. I stopped working on my problems and got online and started looking up embroidery supplies. I didn't know the names of anything, but I started looking through quilting websites and I found pictures of people using those two things. The hoop stand looked like what you needed to do the fancy embroidery and the quilting frame looked like what you'd need to make the quilt you were talking about making out of your mom's skirts."

Kurt leaned into him and began to sob.

"It's okay." He held Kurt close. "It's okay, babe. I love you. I'm not going to chase your friends off. I suspect that we can all three be friends. I was quiet during dinner because I was contemplating the different things I had seen, trying to make up my mind which ones would be the best, and planning the route in my head. I wanted to surprise you, to make you happy."

"And I ruined it by jumping to conclusions."

"You haven't ruined anything. You warned me that at some point, I'd probably come up against a knee-jerk reaction on your part. Well, this was the first time. It's okay. Let's go look at them and you can tell me if I did a good job or not. My goal was to prevent the panic you must have felt this afternoon when Dani called and said she couldn't come. I imagined how upset you were and I wanted you to never be in that state of panic again."

Kurt nodded, but before he moved, he tipped his head up and kissed Sebastian. "You did a perfect job whether or not you bought the right things. You're so sweet to me. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize." He kissed him. "No harm done. We're fine. I'll remember that you aren't used to good surprises and you'll remember that I like to surprise you with good things. And if I'm upset about something, I won't be passive-aggressive and make you guess."

Kurt nodded. He turned and walked back towards the bed. He picked up the lap desk. It was wider than any he had seen before, and it had a real wood top. "What's this for?"

"I bought some washers, bolts, and wing nuts so we can fasten the–" He paused to read the name off the box. "–adjustable embroidery hoop stand to it. That way you can use it on a table if you want, but you can also fasten it to this lap desk and sit on the sofa and use it. That idea was a selfish one on my part. I thought if you could use it sitting on the sofa that I could still sit with you and read rather than you sitting at your desk in our room all the time."

Kurt wiped the tears that were escaping. "That's not selfish. That's super sweet."

"And the quilting frame I found online at an antique place. I picked it because the feet can slide under the sofa. And it adjusts about a gazillion ways from what I could see. So, you'll be able to stand, sit on any height chair, or the sofa and use it. The others I saw had four legs, so they couldn't fit up to the sofa and they couldn't be rotated so that they were completely vertical when not in use." He took his phone out and showed Kurt what it looked like when assembled. "I had to take it apart to get it home."

Kurt looked at the picture. "This is nicer than any I've ever seen. As much as I love how much effort you put into finding just what I needed, I can't let you pay for all of this. It's way too much."

"I knew you wouldn't want me to pay for them. That was the other thing that had me quiet during dinner. I knew you'd probably be mad at me. When you accused me of trying to keep Chandler away from you – that caught me off guard. I was prepared for you to refuse because of the money issue."

"So you knew I'd be mad, and you did it anyway?"

"Yes. If you're going to be mad at me, at least be mad at me for the right reason. Or don't be mad at me at all and let go of that vice-grip you have on your bank account."

Kurt looked like he had been slapped, but he pulled himself together. His instinct was to walk away. He dropped to the floor instead.

"Are you okay?" Sebastian sat next to him. "Can I touch you?"

Kurt shook his head no.

"Okay. Can you tell me why you're so upset?"

"It's like the line in the song. I'll get back to that. Asking Dani for help took a lot of effort on my part. I had to step way outside my comfort zone. And today, the only reason I called Chandler was because I panicked. It was only my panicked state that pushed me over the hump of asking for help. I knew that my professor would eliminate my name from the group of people she would recommend if I didn't have that dress done in the morning. It was only my fear of not getting recommended for future work that fueled me to call. I'm so stubborn. God, Sebastian, why do you even like me? You're right about the money. I've become obsessed. I'm living like I did when I didn't make enough to eat well. You're right, but I don't know how to stop. It's not like I didn't know these things existed. I knew. I could have ordered them or gone out to find a place to buy them here locally like you did. But they're for me. I'm not allowed to buy myself anything. It's like the part of the song."

_Tryin' to be good to me.  
I should give myself way more love.  
I'm my worst enemy.  
I'm the voice who says, "I'm not good enough."_

_Tryin' to see what you see,  
When you look at me._

He stopped singing. "This kind of thing. This very issue is what led me to write that part. I am my own worst enemy. I tell myself that I can live without whatever it is. That even if it makes me have to work a little harder or longer – that spending money on myself for something that I can live without isn't what I should do. I should just buckle down and slog through it."

"I remember how rankled you got when I asked about your breadmaker."

"Yeah, that was one of the things that I spent money on that I had to justify to myself about a million times. That and the bed were the only things I bought new. I couldn't even bring myself to buy a proper bed frame. You saw that I had the bed on pallets. It was when we moved my stuff here that, in my desperation, I bought the bed frame." Kurt reached out and put his hand on Sebastian's knee.

Sebastian put his hand over the top gently.

"I've been like this for a long time. I had to justify my expenditures. Before I worked, my dad would give me a clothing allowance based on what he saw as a reasonable amount to spend on clothes, which was determined by what he paid for his clothes. So, if he bought jeans for $20, he allotted the same amount for me."

"But you didn't want to wear $20 jeans from Walmart."

"Exactly. So I started this trade off-system. I had him take me to places like Goodwill and second-hand stores when he went to Columbus to pick up parts for stuff. He'd drop me off, go grab his stuff from the junkyard or wherever. I'd reallocate his budget in completely different ways than he calculated it."

"That makes perfect sense. That way you didn't go over budget, but you got what you wanted."

"But I started doing it with time too when I started to work. Like I'd want something that I couldn't finagle out of the money he'd allotted and I'd start working extra hours to make the money I needed to add to what he gave me. But when I came here, it got out of hand. I didn't make enough money to pay everything and I had to dip into my 'Emergency Fund' over and over again. So, I ate less, walked more, cut corners everywhere I could. And I got a second job because no amount of cutting things was working. It was ridiculous."

"And you've not quit. You've not paid rent in a few months, which means your savings should be significant at this point. And on top of that, you got money back when you moved out of the loft. You also sold some of the furniture to Santana. Your bank account by all indications should be at an all-time high, but you knew about these things, but wouldn't consider buying them for yourself even though you had enough money to do it without going into debt or going without eating."

Kurt took a deep breath and scooted closer to Sebastian.

"I'm going to ask you something. First, can I touch you now?"

He nodded.

Sebastian moved and arranged himself behind Kurt and wrapped himself around him like he had at the beach. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Kurt. "So, let's say our situations were reversed. What would you do?"

Kurt leaned back onto Sebastian's shoulder. "I'd do what you did. I'd get whatever it was that you needed, if I could afford it. Or since you and your parents get along so well, I might text your mom and tell her and offer to be the one to get it here locally."

"But I knew better than to call your dad. You would have been super angry with me if I had done that."

"Yeah. I would have. I didn't even call him and tell him when I was skipping meals. I would definitely not ask him for money for this stuff. I'm glad you didn't call him and tell him, but at the same time I can see your point. If I had a kid who did what I've done I would be upset because I wouldn't want my kid to go hungry. Why can't I feel any compassion for myself, Bas? Why?"

"If you want me to speculate, I'd say that you blame yourself for things you can't control, but that's something for you to talk to your counselor about."

"Yeah, I have to find someone new because once this summer session ends, I can't use any of the facilities at NYADA anymore."

"I hadn't thought about that."

"Yeah. And I don't have as much in savings as you think. The ER bill after the fight wiped out quite a bit of it. I got the statement last week and paid it. It seems that my insurance has a clause in it about not covering injuries from participating in excessively dangerous activities, like race car driving and skydiving, etc. So, my insurance covered exactly nothing after they determined that my injuries were basically self-inflicted from their standpoint since I couldn't truthfully check the box that said the injuries were the result of an accident."

"That's not… Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why would I? And don't take it that way. I just don't know why I would tell you that I paid a bill."

"I didn't mean it like, 'Why didn't you get my permission to be an adult and pay a bill?' I meant it like, "Why didn't you share with me your frustration about finding out that your insurance didn't cover anything?"

"I guess I just felt like I have no reason to be angry. It's just another consequence of the choice I made. The ER bill was just about the same amount as I got back from the loft deposit. I left _Vogue_ two hours early today when Dani called me and cancelled, hoping that the extra time would help and it did. Buzz wasn't interested in having tomorrow and Monday off since he didn't have enough time to plan for the trip he wanted to take. So, I'm out four days of pay at the shop. That's $450 I've lost. I had hoped I'd only lose $150 since I was going to get paid minimum wage, but $300 would have been a lot better than making zero. The follow-up visit Monday cost me about $600 since I had to have a second cast put on. I had to pay the doctor then, and they said I had a month to pay the rest. I just paid it while I was there. A second follow-up visit next Friday will be the $300 cherry on top. I had so much other stuff on my mind, like getting that costume done that I just didn't let myself think about it, but you wanted to know why I didn't just go out and get this stuff for myself when Dani couldn't help. I had actually been thinking about getting these types of things before I got the hospital bill. I hadn't convinced myself, but I had considered it. Now, you know why I didn't. I'll go to the bank tomorrow and withdraw whatever all of this cost you. You were so sweet to go out and get it for me, but I don't want you to pay for them. I need to get my head on straight and realize that I need these if I plan to do costuming work professionally. This isn't a splurge. This is needed equipment for future business endeavors. Do you want to help me put them together? You'll need the drill for us to fix up that lap desk to fasten the hoop frame to it. Or we can wait and do that part tomorrow night or Saturday. I can just sit it on my desk to use it tomorrow."

"Let's see how long it takes to assemble the hoop frame."

"Okay." He stood up and turned around. He kissed Sebastian once he was standing as well. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian and looked at him. He almost let himself get distracted by Sebastian's gorgeous eyes and smile, but he refocused. "This was a great surprise. I've never felt more cared for. You thought about my situation, researched how to help, and did it – all because you care. Despite my inability to figure out why you do – you like me and you love me. And I'm just really grateful. I love you so much." He took a deep breath and sighed as he relaxed in Sebastian's embrace. "Good surprises."

Sebastian kissed along his neck. "Always good surprises because I love you."


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for Kurt recalling sexual harassment, canon-like physical bullying, and anxiety at McKinley.

Kurt waited impatiently in the doctor's office for the results from the x-ray. He resorted to play Candy Crush on his phone to keep himself distracted. Finally, after what seemed like hours, his name was called. He followed the nurse to the office and sat on the exam table and waited another ten minutes for the orthopedist to come in.

"Well, the good news is that your hand is looking good. I won't put a cast back on, but I'm having the nurse bring back a brace for you to wear. You still can't put any pressure on the area. It needs more time to finish healing."

"So, I can't go back to work?"

"I'm afraid not. Not yet."

"How much longer?"

"A month."

Kurt said nothing as his heart dropped. _Another month without pay?_ "I'll be unemployed by then."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but you said before that you work with your hands. If you want to be able to do that in the future, you'll heed my precautions now. I know what it's like to be young and impatient. I see a lot of guys your age with sports-related injuries and I can tell you from experience, the ones who don't listen are the ones I see back a few months later with exacerbated injuries that take significantly longer to heal than the original would have if they had just followed the guidelines they were given."

Kurt nodded. "I get that. It's just hard to pay your bills without any money coming in. And my insurance isn't covering any of this." He sighed. He muttered to himself, "At least Mitchell isn't dead."

"What did you say?"

"Oh, nothing."

The nurse knocked twice and opened the door. She had two hand splints with her.

"I'll let Nancy here get you fitted with the right size splint and give you the directions on wearing it."

"Thank you," Kurt managed to say before the door shut. He held his hand out for the nurse to decide which splint fit best.

* * *

When he left the doctor's office, he headed to the large music practice room he had reserved at NYADA. Over the course of the previous week, he had put up fliers a variety of places, hoping to find a few people who wanted to join a band. He knew that his time with the Apples was quickly coming to an end and he had already checked and there wasn't anything similar at his new school. He knew his chances of finding many people were slim because they could only rehearse on Sundays and play on Monday evenings, and he wasn't even sure where they could rehearse once he couldn't reserve rooms at NYADA.

Santana and Dani were waiting for him when he got there.

"Well, that's not a cast," Dani said. "That seems like your moving in the right direction."

"I am, but I can't go back to work for another month. I talked to Jared on the way over here. He said he understood, but he has a business to run. He's going to try to replace me. He told me to call him back when I could actually work and he'd give me priority for any jobs he might have available."

"Well, that sucks," Santana said. "But the man has a point. He can't just leave the position vacant. He needs someone who can be there."

"I know. He was really nice about it." He plopped down on the keyboard stool. "I hope some people show up today."

Dani hooked up her bass guitar and began to play around. Chandler walked into the room and listened to her play for a couple of minutes.

"Can I audition?"

"Chandler!" Kurt jumped up. "Yes, of course. We've heard you play before though."

"You heard me improvise along with your song, but I've been working on it and I've got it down now. Plus, pick something and I'll show you my skills on a classic of some sort."

"Alright," Santana said, "Madonna. 'Like a Prayer'."

Chandler sat down at the drums. Kurt sat back down at the keyboard to play the introduction. Santana sang the first verse. Kurt took the second verse. Sebastian came in the room. He joined them and began to play the double bass and sing along. Dani sang the third verse. They stopped singing when Starchild walked into the room.

"Don't stop on my account. I was hoping I could still audition. I got held up by several people wanting to take photos with me."

Kurt wasn't sure about his over-the-top look, but motioned for him to come in. He moved away from the keyboard to a chair facing the group. Sebastian and Santana followed him and sat down next to him.

Kurt said, "We've heard you sing before, but you're welcome to sing something else."

He adjusted the stool and sat at the keyboard. Dani moved closer so they could talk. She nodded her head and stepped back to where she had been. He said something to Chandler and he nodded as well. He began to sing "Better than I Know Myself".

Kurt was impressed with his singing, just like he had been the first time he heard him a couple of weeks back, but he didn't like the way he dressed, except that he loved the way he was dressed. "Thanks for coming in. Can we talk for a few minutes?"

"Um, sure." He followed Kurt out into the hall.

"I think you're fantastic. And I'd love to have you be part of the band. I'll just be honest, though, I'm feeling a bit insecure. You're obviously talented enough to have your own band. You're clearly cut out to be the lead, so I'm a bit unsure as to why you want to join us. I'm Kurt Hummel, by the way. Sorry I didn't say that first."

"I know who you are. I saw you put the flyer up at CCNY the other day after class. And as for this," he paused and motioned to himself. "This is all a disguise, a cover. I'm really pretty laid back, but I feel more confident dressed like this because it's like armor in a way."

Kurt immediately felt like he was talking to a kindred spirit. "So you go to CCNY?"

"Actually I don't. I'll be a junior this fall. I'm enrolled at NYU, but my scholarship doesn't cover going to school in the summer and I wanted to get some of my gen ed classes out of the way because I'm taking a orchestration course next semester and I've never taken anything like it and I thought it might be good to have extra time. I've only done arranging on my own. I have perfect pitch, so I think it might not be as hard as I'm making it out to be, but I just don't know. So, I've been staying at home in New Jersey all summer and commuting in to take the classes at CCNY. I've been taking the train into the City in since I started high school. I use the time to study or listen to music. I can play guitar as well. I can show you if you want. Sorry, I talk too much when I get nervous."

"It's fine. I'm enrolled here at NYADA, for now anyway, but I chose CCNY for the summer for the same reason."

"I auditioned for NYADA and didn't get in."

Kurt looked dumbfounded. "What?"

"I don't think they cared for Starchild. I should have just auditioned as myself." He pulled his phone out and flipped through his photos. He turned it around and showed Kurt a photo of himself in geeky black glasses wearing a light blue chambray shirt and jeans.

"Wait. You're in my statistics class." Kurt thought for a few seconds. "Gilbert. You sit a few seats to my left with the alphabetical seating. Edward. Edmond… something with an E."

"That's me," he laughed. "It's Elliott. Elliott Gilbert. Look, Kurt, I've always wanted to be in an indie band. I write music too. I heard the three of you sing a couple of weeks ago. I can be anything you want. From Elliott to Starchild. Just give me a chance?"

"I need to go ask Santana and Dani."

"Sure."

They went back inside. Kurt motioned for the girls to come out in the hall with him. "So, what do you two think?"

Dani said, "Are you nuts? I say hell, yes. He's amazing. And I say yes to Chandler too. He's a bit strange, but I think that's true of all of us. Was that Sebastian's attempt at an audition?"

"I don't know. I didn't even know that he played the bass."

Santana said, "Well, if it was, he's in too. He's a good singer, sexy as hell, and the bass is sexy too. We'll glam Chandler up a bit from the Tyler Oakley look he's sporting. He's got good cheekbones. I'm sure Dani and I can sexy him up a bit. And Starchild–"

Kurt interrupted, "Elliott."

"Elliott, right. We'll have to turn the wattage down on his glam a bit – even it up between him and Chandler."

Kurt laughed and nodded.

They walked back to the center of the room.

Kurt proclaimed, "You're all in!"

Chandler let out a hoop. Elliott looked surprised, but happy. Sebastian looked confused.

"Chandler's our new drummer and sings baritone. Elliott plays keyboard and guitar and sings tenor."

"Yes."

Kurt went on. "And Sebastian also sings tenor and plays the bass."

"And the cello," Sebastian added.

"And cello, it seems," he winked at Sebastian. "So, I can reserve this room this Sunday evening from 7-9. Does that work for everyone this week?"

No one said anything to the contrary.

"Alright then. How about we do 'What Makes you Beautiful' just for fun before my 30 minutes are up in this room?"

* * *

Kurt took Sebastian's hand after everyone left and him to the hall that housed the tiny practice rooms that were first come, first serve and found an empty one. He pulled him inside and pushed the door closed and then pinned Sebastian to the door. "I didn't know you wanted to be in the band."

"That was the surprise part."

"Yes, good surprises." He kissed up Sebastian's neck. "I also didn't know you played the bass or the cello. You've been holding out on me." He licked along the edge of Sebastian's earlobe, giving him chills. "Playing the bass is super sexy."

"Oh, really?"

"Really. Why don't you have one?"

"Oh, I do. It's in Columbus still."

"Why didn't you bring it?"

"I still needed it at school when we moved your stuff here."

"And now?"

"I just need to get it and my cello sent here safely."

"Mmm." He kissed along his jaw. "Then you'll play for me, right?"

"Is it going to get you all hot and bothered like this?"

"Probably."

"Then definitely." He turned so he could capture Kurt's lips and flipped their positions and kissed Kurt passionately.

Kurt slipped his hands down past Sebastian's waist and pulled him closer. When they had to stop to take a breath, Kurt said, "Shouldn't you be in class?"

"Probably, but it's not something that requires two people to do and I offered to do the full lab write-up if he'd run the lab and get the data this afternoon." He kissed along Kurt's jaw to his ear. "I love you and I want to be part of the fun. I want to be in the band too. I don't have to be the lead on anything, unless you want me to. But I want to sing and have fun. I miss it already."

"I would have let you join without auditioning."

"I'm morally opposed to nepotism."

Kurt laughed loudly and pressed his forehead to Sebastian's. "I love you so much. If we don't cool down, we're going to have a very uncomfortable ride back home."

"Yeah, and since I'm playing hooky already, I have other plans besides going straight home."

"Do tell."

"I'm taking you to the awesome antique and vintage place where I found that quilting rack for what you called 'an absolute steal'. You never know what other gems might be hiding in there that I don't know how to identify."

"You are definitely a keeper. You show up and be all sexy with a bass, and then you make out with me in a practice room, and on top of all that, you're going to take me shopping." He kissed Sebastian chastely. "I'm going to be amazingly cheap and offer to split a slice of pizza with you. Or there's always Gray's Papaya, if we're going that direction."

Sebastian buried his nose in the nape of Kurt's neck and inhaled slowly. He lifted his head up and kissed Kurt on the forehead. "I'm not sure, but I'm sure that Google will help us. Let’s go."

* * *

Saturday morning, Kurt was standing in their closet, just staring at the box that had his mom's skirts in it. He called out, "Sebastian?"

It didn't take long for him to appear. "Yeah, babe?"

"Could you just sit with me while I photograph my mom's skirts?"

"Sure. I can even help if you want. I can stand on the step stool and take the photos from the same vantage point each time. We can do it on the kitchen table. That way you'll have the same lighting and perspective. I'll go get my camera. But first let me get the box out for you since you're supposed to be taking it easy on your hand."

Kurt nodded. "Thanks. That will be faster than me pushing it in there with my feet."

They talked while Kurt arranged the skirts and Sebastian took photos.

"So, Marley's mom agreed finally?"

"She did. Your aunt Victoria and your mom met with Millie. It's all settled. They'll be here a week from today. Marley's been working all summer, but Millie didn't want her to work during the school year, so she gave her two weeks' notice last week so she could have a week off before school starts again for her on the 26th."

"It's a small, small world sometimes," Sebastian chuckled. "My mom has done the Habitat Women's Build a lot of times, but this time she took Jillian and it was for Millie and Marley."

"I feel bad for Marley having to start a third high school in three years, but they'll be so much better off in Columbus where Marley can be involved in more stuff and she's away from Sue and the craziness of McKinley, which no longer has a music program of any sort from my understanding – other than the Cheerios using music in their performances, I guess."

"She's nuts."

"She is." Kurt folded a skirt and put it in the stack and laid another one out. "Marley's really talented. "She and Jillian are both going to look at colleges from what she said when I talked to her earlier."

"That's what Jillian said too in her text." He snapped more photos. "Aunt Victoria already added money to my account for food for the two of them so we can buy extra when we do our normal shopping."

"That works." He spread out another skirt. "Once we finish this, I need to get back to my project. I just needed a break for a bit. And I want to start doing some sketches for the idea I have for these once I finish my project."

"So, does that mean I can snuggle with you on the couch and read my physics book?"

"You have a standing open invitation to snuggle. I thought we'd been over this," he teased.

"We have, but sometimes what you're working on doesn't leave any room for me."

"Oh, well, I'm working on getting the sleeve gathers just right so that I can sew them on by lunch."

"I'm not sure what that means, but sleeves aren't that big, so I will fit."

"You will." Kurt pulled the last skirt out. "This is it."

Sebastian took a few photos and got down off the stool, folded it up, and put it back in the coat closet. Kurt folded the skrit up and put it in the box, which Sebastian grabbed and carried back to their closet.

"We'll need to make some room in the closet in the spare room for their clothes," Kurt said, as he followed along behind.

Sebastian got it situated and turned to face Kurt. "I can do that when you start to sew the sleeves on since I can't snuggle you while you sew," he pouted.

Kurt touched the end of his nose and said, "Beep."

"What did you do that for?" Sebastian laughed.

"Exactly that. I figured I could press the button and turn your frown into a smile."

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "You're too cute and sexy sometimes."

"How is that possible?"

"Because all I want to do is take you in my arms and put you our bed and steal your clothes and make out with you."

"Well, that's a very enticing offer." He stepped closer to Sebastian. "I accept."

"I thought you had a schedule to keep."

"I do, but I love you and I'm ahead of schedule. That's why I had time to do the skirts." He began to undress.

"Oh, no, no, no. That's part of the fun." He stepped closer and started to unbutton Kurt's shirt. He placed soft kisses on Kurt's chest as his skin was revealed. "You're sure?"

"Oh, I'm positive." He took one of Sebastian's hands and slid it down. "Absolutely positive."

They left a trail of clothes on the way to their bed.

* * *

That afternoon, they went out to do their shopping for the week. When they came back, Kurt checked their mailbox and pulled out a small padded envelope.

"What did you order?"

"You'll see," Kurt said, before biting his lower lip and letting it slide loose. "Let's get upstairs and get this stuff put away, and then I'll show you."

"Now, I'm super curious, gorgeous."

Kurt blushed. "Up, up, you go." He ushered Sebastian towards the stairs.

Sebastian put the groceries away more efficiently than he ever had. He by-passed quite a few opportunities to grope Kurt just to get done faster.

"Hmm," Kurt hummed. He unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off. "I'm not sure I like this super efficient version." He pinned Sebastian to the kitchen counter. "I'm not getting nearly as many kisses as I usually do while we're doing this."

Sebastian couldn't resist with Kurt's lips so close to his. He closed the distance quickly and kissed him. Kurt wrapped his right hand behind Sebastian's neck and kept him close and deepened the kiss. "Mmm. Much better," he said as he kissed down Sebastian's neck.

Sebastian's hands began to wander along the smooth skin on Kurt's back. "The refrigerated and frozen stuff is done."

Kurt smiled and continued his kissing. "You're really desperate to see what's in that package, aren't you?"

"At this point, I'm just so turned on, I can barely think straight. You keep doing things to get my attention, but I was trying to be efficient. And now, you're shirtless and–" he was breathing heavily and pressed his lips back to Kurt's.

"I'm sorry. I just like all the attention you pay to me when we do this every Saturday."

"Well, I like paying attention to you while we do this. Let's just finish quickly." He kissed Kurt on the forehead and stepped away to grab things that belonged in the cabinet and put them there quickly.

"We're ridiculous, you know." Kurt put the pasta in the cabinet.

"Ridiculously in love. You're gorgeous and so sexy." He forced himself to refocus and put the last of the food in the cabinet. "There. Done."

Kurt put their bags in the coat closet and picked his shirt up as he walked through the kitchen. He picked the package up off the table and went to their bedroom. Sebastian followed along right behind him, removing his own shirt as he did. He took Kurt's and tossed both of them into the hamper.

"So, are you going to show me?"

Kurt sat down and took his socks and shoes off and sat criss-cross in the middle of the bed. Sebastian was confused, but intrigued, so he copied Kurt and sat across from him. Kurt opened the end of the envelope and reached inside. He pulled out a clear ziptop bag and laid it on the bed. Sebastian picked it up and looked at it.

Kurt said, "The only time I did this in person, it was really nerve wracking. I ended up getting carded by the cashier. The entire time I was there I was afraid that someone from school would see me and beat the crap out me for even considering acting on my gayness. I know these brands are all different than… what you're used to. I didn't know what you'd like, so I ordered the variety pack in my size. Once you pick what you like, I'll order more."

Sebastian was still kind of stunned. "Like in what way?"

"Like for me to wear," he said quietly. "Unless you aren't interested in that." Kurt grabbed the bag and put it back in the envelope and started to get up.

"Kurt stop. Stay here. Of course, I'm interested. I know you saw my toys. You didn't say anything, but I know you did."

"Yeah, but it's…"

"A lot smaller than you."

Kurt's face flushed even more. "Yeah."

"Are you sure about this? You seem very nervous and skittish. I know you wanted to wait. I haven't been making you feel like I'm pressuring you, have I?"

"Definitely not."

He reached out and took the package out of Kurt's hand and set it aside and held both of his hands. "Do you have a preference?"

"I told you I was more focused on my actions than my feelings." He took a deep breath.

Sebastian leaned forward and kissed Kurt. He brought each of his hands up to his lips and kissed them as well. "I love you and even if we don't use these for months, I'd like to look at them.

He let go of his hands and picked the envelope up. He dumped the contents out on the bed. There were several small bottles of lube in a clear bag as well. They were in a plastic shell that kept them protected, but Sebastian could read the labels. He sat them to the side after he did. He picked the bag of condoms back up that Kurt had pulled out and unzipped the bag and dumped them out. There were 12 different types. He looked at each one and put them back in the bag afterwards. He put it to the side with the miniature lube bottles. He picked up the other bag that he hadn't seen, which was a variety pack of flavored condoms.

"I was unaware that there were so many options." He reached back for Kurt's hands. He could feel them trembling slightly.

"Umm, the flavored ones, well, I assume you know what those are for. I didn't know if you would want to use them, so I ordered some just in case."

He let go of Kurt's hands and picked up the stuff, put it back in the envelope, reached back, and put it on his bedside table. He scooted back towards the head of the bed and lay back. He extended his arm for Kurt to come snuggle him.

Kurt crawled up the bed and snuggled into Sebastian's side. "I thought it would be a fun surprise, but then I got tense, then excited, and then really anxious. I thought maybe you'd think I was pushing you or being too forward. And then I thought I was being ridiculous for being nervous."

Sebastian chuckled silently and pulled Kurt closer. "They're perfect. I'm sure I'll love them," he said as he kissed Kurt on the forehead.

"Are you really okay with it?"

"Okay with it? I'm thrilled with the idea," he teased. "See for yourself. Or better yet feel for yourself."

Kurt ran his hand down Sebastian's chest until he reached his goal. "Oh."

"Can I ask you something?"

Kurt tipped his head up and looked Sebastian in the eyes. "Sebastian, I love you more than I can even express. You can ask me anything."

"What about doing it the other way so unappealing to you?"

He took a deep breath. "It's just a combination of experiences. Do you really want to know?" He ran his hand along the fly of Sebastian's shorts. "You won't feel the way you do right now if I tell you. But it's up to you."

"I think I need to know before we move ahead to anything else."

"David wasn't the only jock to bully me. Most of the football team did. My freshman year, I was still really small. I was about 5'4". There were a group of four seniors from the football team who would…"

Sebastian held him closer and wrapped his leg over the top of Kurt's, creating a full-body cocoon.

"Who would manage to shove me into the lockers or a wall and they'd make comments about how I was obviously asking for it and that if I didn't tone it down, one day when they'd give me what I was asking for. I don't know if the one guy was gay or bi, but he was always the one that would grab my wrists and pin them above my head. He'd push me into the locker. I could feel his boner against my back since he was so much taller than I was. He wore baggy shirts and his letterman, so I don't think any of the guys ever saw. The football team had nailed our lawn furniture to our roof, so I knew they knew where I lived. I started going to the shop every day after school after that. And I told you about Scandals. He didn't pin me down, but he kept pulling me down. That really contributed to my decision to offer him his choice of ways for me to do it, rather than the other way around. But you pin me down all the time now and I'm not afraid, so I think in time I can unlearn my fear."

"That's what it was about that day when you laid back on your back and pull me on top."

"Yes. I knew that even though I was lying there naked, you wouldn't hurt me. I trusted you. Your love has filled so many of the cracks in my heart, Bas. You just don't even know."

Tears streamed down both of their cheeks as they lay together, limbs and hearts intertwined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those outside the US or who are just not familiar with Women Build, you can check it out here:  
> http://www.habitat.org/volunteer/near-you/women-build


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Friday's chapter early. In my sleepiness, I posted a spoiler in one of my responses to a comment on the last chapter. Chapter 42 will be posted a week from today - on Monday 01/18.

The following Thursday evening, Kurt looked over the costume he had made and checked every last inch of it over for a second time. He ironed it carefully and put it in the bag he had gotten from a dry cleaners to transport it in the next morning. Even though his classes didn't officially end until the following Friday, the piece he had been working on was being used in a production that opened then. His professor needed time to grade it, fix any potential issues, and have it ready for the production to use in its dress rehearsals starting Monday.

Once it was in the bag he let out a long sigh. "It's done."

"I can't believe you've finished four intricate outfits in six weeks," Sebastian said. He was sitting on the sofa reading his physics textbook.

"I know. It's nuts, but in a 15-week semester, it would have been spread out a lot more. I'm glad that she's had all of them professionally photographed so I can put them in my portfolio."

"Would you have to make that many during a production?"

"Potentially more, but only if I were hired on as part of the production, in which case it would be for quite a bit of money. I'm kind of torn because I love making such beautiful pieces, but I didn't really enjoy the pressure of it. I think I'd have to try it once to know for sure, especially with this just being a really tense time because of having my hand in a cast and making so much less money that I had anticipated making over the summer. At least Isabelle has given me extra hours, and I'm working twice as many hours next week to cover for the week we're going to spend in Florida." Kurt smoothed out the bag he had hung over the spare room door. He tied the bottom closed and stood back up.

"It looks great, babe. Come sit with me."

Kurt went around and sat down with Sebastian, who scooted down and laid his head in Kurt's lap. Kurt began to run his hand through Sebastian's hair, something that he loved to do and Sebastian loved him doing it. "Why do you call me 'babe'?"

"I guess I never really thought about it. It's what my mom calls my dad."

"What does your dad call your mom?"

"Mmm. Different things. Sweetie. Beautiful." He paused. "I guess those two mostly. Does me calling you 'babe' bother you?"

"No." After hearing Sebastian's answer, he let the feeling of it being effeminate slip away. "Oh! I talked to Carole on the way home this afternoon. She and Dad are excited. She's never been anywhere tropical. They were going to go to Hawaii for their honeymoon, but Dad used the money he had saved to send me to Dalton. One day I'm going to save up enough to send them. And maybe we can go too."

"That sounds amazing. I've always wanted to go there."

"She was super excited about them getting to stay the additional days by themselves after Labor Day. It's actually the first time I've heard her sound excited about anything since–"

"Mom told me that she's giving them the master suite the whole time they're there. She got this bed topper that will fasten the two twin beds together to make a king size bed. She and Dad are going to stay in that room so that your parents don't have to switch their stuff around and they can have access to the hot tub."

"That's nice of them. Your parents are really kind."

"They are. I let them down and I regret that. But they helped me when I asked. I should tell them I appreciate them more often than I do. I mean, they gave me this apartment and they give me a stipend to buy groceries."

"It's obvious how much they love you."

"I'm a lucky guy."

"I'm excited for Jillian and Marley to get here tomorrow."

"She's so much nicer now than she was before."

"I think she didn't feel like herself before. Now, she's relaxed. Her parents didn't disown her for not wanting to go to college right away. She changed her style and she's branching out and trying new things. I think she felt like she had to be someone she wasn't, but was too afraid to say so. I think her friends at school loved things she didn't and she was afraid of losing them too. And then she lost them when they went to Lima for the school year, so when she went back, she made sure to do everything to fit in. It was her senior year and she didn't want to be alone again like she had been in Lima." He sighed. "Just my guesses."

"They make sense though. I certainly was a pain when I was unhappy at Dalton when I first came back."

"But now you are sweet."

"Only to you."

"You say that, but I see you with Santana and Dani. You're kind to Chandler and Elliott too."

Sebastian reached out and started caressing the skin right under the edge of Kurt's shorts. "I'm glad this summer session is over, even though I really enjoyed both of my classes. I've never gone to school in the summer before and I'm spoiled. I want some more vacation time before the fall semester starts. More vacation time with my very sexy boyfriend." He sighed happily. "I love it when you pet me and play with my hair. Are you ready to turn _Downton Abbey_ on?"

"We're facing the wrong way to watch."

"I know, but I'm not moving until you're ready to watch. I'm comfy."

* * *

Sebastian slipped out of bed the next morning and made Kurt breakfast. He knew the struggle Kurt faced going to NYADA that morning to turn in his final project. It would be his last official day as a NYADA student. He had his withdrawal papers in his bag to take and turn into Madame Tibideaux afterwards. He knew Kurt was strong, but it broke his heart to see Kurt lose yet another thing that meant so much to him. It was twice as hard knowing that his family would gladly cover the cost for Kurt to stay at NYADA, but Kurt would never accept their generosity. He did his best to understand his reasons, but he just wanted Kurt to have what he wanted. He put the quiche in the oven, set the timer on his phone to vibrate, and went back to bed. He slipped in and snuggled into Kurt's back.

"Missed you." Kurt scooted back to meet him.

Sebastian nuzzled into his neck and kissed him gently. "I'm here."

Kurt hummed happily and went back to sleep.

 _I'm totally in love with this amazing man in my arms._ When his alarm went off, he turned it off and woke Kurt up by kissing all along his shoulders. He rolled onto his back and started to scoot to his side of the bed.

Kurt rolled over and grabbed for Sebastian, lying on top of him to keep him in the bed.

"Come on, beautiful. I made us breakfast."

"Snuggle."

"Nice try, but I at least have to go get it out of the oven so it doesn't burn."

"You cooked me breakfast?"

"I did. Let's go eat it."

"Okay." Kurt got up and stretched. "It smells good. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Sebastian made it around the bed before Kurt moved. He wrapped his arms around Kurt. "Good morning, beautiful."

"Good morning, sweetie."

Sebastian danced them to the kitchen. He let go of Kurt and turned the oven off. He propped the oven door open just a few inches. He turned back and Kurt was gone. He waited for him outside the bathroom. He went in when Kurt came out. He brushed his teeth before he came back out. He found Kurt in their room in the closet. He wrapped his arms around him and began running his hands along Kurt's chest. Kurt's breath hitched each time Sebastian hands touched the most sensitive areas.

"Bas?"

"I love you. You're so sexy and irresistible. Do you want me to stop?"

"No, I just thought we were going to eat."

"We are. I was just in a hurry a few minutes ago because I didn't want it to burn. It's fine now. It will stay warm in the oven for a while." He kissed along Kurt's shoulders and le this hand slip lower. "Is this okay?"

"Mmm hmm. Anything is okay. Just keep touching me, please."

"My pleasure. Here or in the bed?"

"Here, there, anywhere."

Sebastian chuckled. He didn't believe the anywhere for a second, but he turned them to go back to bed. Once he got Kurt there, he stripped down the rest of the way. And asked wordlessly and Kurt nodded. He sat straddling Kurt and ran his hands along his shoulders, down his arms to his hands, which he took. He leaned forward enough to be able to kiss Kurt's knuckles. "I love you. You know that. And I will never push you, but I'm going to ask. You can say no and nothing will change between us. I will still love you just as much."

Kurt nodded.

"Can I blow you?"

"Yes."

* * *

Kurt sat quietly as his professor looked over the costume.

"Kurt, this is absolutely flawless. A+ for sure. And credit, like I had agreed to."

"Thank you."

"I'm looking forward to having you work on the costumes for our fall musical. I'm hoping you'll have time to work on them, even if you get a role, which is what I'm figuring will happen. I've heard you sing," she said with a genuine smile on her face. She put the plastic cover back over the dress and moved it to the rack with the others that had been turned in. "Charlene will be in at lunch to photograph the last set. I'll send you the files to add to your portfolio."

Kurt nodded. "Thank you."

"How's your hand?"

"Not broken anymore, but I have to wear the brace when I'm out and around people where I could get knocked into or fall, which of course means every time I leave my apartment since this is New York City."

She chuckled. "I guess at least you can sleep with it off and get some freedom from it at home."

He nodded. "I'm looking forward to being able to my regular yoga workout. At least I wasn't enrolled in Stage Combat for this session."

"That's true."

He grabbed his bag and stood up. He didn't know exactly how to brooch the subject of taking on jobs, but he just took a deep breath and steeled himself. "Please keep me in mind for anyone looking for costuming work."

"I will Kurt. Enjoy the rest of your summer."

"You too."

"Before you leave, I'm supposed to tell you that Professor Carlton is in his office and wants to speak to you."

Kurt nodded. "Thank you. I'll head there next."

* * *

Kurt knocked twice on Professor Carlton's door.

"Come in."

Kurt opened the door and stepped inside.

"Please come in and have a seat, Kurt."

Kurt closed the door and sat down.

"It's come to my attention that you're leaving NYADA."

The color drained from Kurt's face. He hadn't told anyone yet.

Professor Carlton noticed his response. "I'm aware that you haven't officially withdrawn yet, but since I don't have access to your personal information like your cell phone number or a non-NYADA student email account, I knew I needed to talk to you today before you turned in your forms."

"I don't understand how you know. I don't recall saying anything to anyone here at NYADA."

"How I know isn't relevant. Why I wanted to speak with you is that I would like to continue on as your vocal instructor."

"I'm sorry. I don't have anywhere near the kind of money private lessons with you would be worth."

"I'm not asking for your money, Kurt. I have worked with a lot of students over the years and whether you are still a NYADA student or not, I would like to continue to train you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that for one hour a week, during my non-office and non-instructional hours, you'll come in and we'll work just like when we did and you were my student."

"And you don't want me to pay you?"

"I do not."

Kurt pulled out an index card from his bag and wrote his name, his personal email address, and his cell phone number on it. He handed it to Professor Carlton.

"Thank you. Do you know your schedule for the fall yet?"

"I took a photo of it, if you'll give a minute to find it."

"No problem."

"But actually, I don't know my work schedule yet. I had to give up one of my jobs because of my hand injury, but I still have the other. Could we arrange the time in a couple of weeks once I get this splint off and see when I have a definitive opening in my schedule?"

"Of course. You can email me at my address and we'll work things out by the end of the first week of classes."

"Thank you. Really."

"You're welcome."

Kurt stood and exited, closing the door behind him. Next on his list was Madame Tibideaux.

* * *

Kurt sat nervously in the waiting area outside Madame Tibideaux's office for what seemed like longer than he had sat to get his x-ray results. He knew he would have to because he had to take what she had available. Finally her secretary called his name. He hadn't seen anyone come out, so he assumed that she had been on the phone.

He knocked and waited to be acknowledged before opening the door.

"Mr. Hummel, please have a seat." She waited. "What can I do for you today?"

He took a deep breath and handed her his withdrawal forms and his request to transfer his credits to CCNY.

"You're leaving NYADA."

"Not by choice."

"Well, you haven't been asked to leave or flunked out, so it appears to be by choice from where I'm sitting."

"My stepbrother died."

"I'm aware. My condolences on your loss."

"My family size decreased by one, as did the number of students in my family. My financial aid options were reduced to asking my parents to take out personal loans to pay my tuition. I can't do that."

"I see. Your father is a congressman, is he not?"

"He is, but as such, he is required to maintain a home in Ohio as well as in DC. He is also a small business owner, so he returns to Ohio frequently and spends every congressional recess there to keep his business running and to stay in contact with his constituents. He's not the hob-knobbing type of representative that stays in DC networking or whatever the right term might be."

"There's nothing that could change your mind?"

"A full-scholarship or enough of one that my family's contributions combined with the scholarship wouldn't leave me working 60 hours a week on top of going to school full-time like I did last spring. I'm not going back to that. No degree from a topnotch school is worth running myself into the ground for. My parents can afford CCNY and I can work and pay my living expenses."

She sighed. "It's NYADA's loss. I am sorry to see you go. But as you say, everything has a cost and some things are worth the cost and others are not. I would like to think that the education that students receive here at NYADA is worth the price tag, but there are always students whose financial situations are unusual and fall through the cracks of traditional student aid."

"I think the school should work harder at getting successful alumni to donate and to lower the tuition significantly. NYADA is a good school, but three years at CCNY will cost me less than a single year here."

She nodded. "I'll get this paperwork processed at the end of term next week. You should expect your credits to transfer without a problem."

He stood. "Thank you. I do apologize for taking up a spot this year that could have gone to someone who would have stayed. That's on me for not doing enough research ahead of time. I'm not sorry for saving my own financial skin, but I will miss being part of the school. I've learned a lot here. Hopefully, I'll benefit in some way from the teaching at CCNY." He left without saying anything else and closed the door behind him. He walked quickly to the closest exit out of the building.

* * *

He walked a brisk pace for several blocks in an attempt to maintain his composure. He had gotten his emotions under control by the time he arrived until he got to his desk and found a vase of daisies from Sebastian with a note that simply said, "I love you." A few tears streamed down his cheeks.

Isabelle stepped across the hall and peeked into his tiny office. "That wasn't the reaction I expected."

"You know that I cry when I'm happy too. It's crazy. I know." He grabbed for the tissue box on his desk and dabbed at his eyes. "It just took me by surprise." _Good surprises_ , he reminded himself. "The last time someone sent me flowers here it was because he had cheated on me and was trying to win me back with gifts."

"I remember. Sebastian won't cheat on you. That boy is head-over-heels for you. You'll be a Smythe and my nephew sometime in the next five years. I'd wager a year's salary on it."

"What if I want him to be a Hummel?"

"That's what hyphens are for, honey."

Kurt chuckled.

"We're still on for Sunday, right? Estate sales, lunch, and then coming back here, so Jillian and her friend… Marley, right?"

Kurt nodded.

Isabelle continued. "So Jillian and Marley can play dress up in the vault while we _ooh_ and _ahh_ over them."

"Yes. Definitely, yes."

"Will Marley fit in the sample sizes?"

"Easily. She's built about the same as Jillian and similar in height."

"Excellent. That will make it easier."

"And then, we're having band rehearsal, which they want to come to, even though I offered to make an itinerary for them. Or get them reservations at a restaurant." Kurt picked up his iPad and began to look through his email and his to-do list.

"Those samples from Dolce & Gabbana are here."

"Right. Right. Let's get to those." He looked through his list as he followed Isabelle.

* * *

Sebastian spent the morning cleaning the apartment. He made room for Jillian and Marley to hang clothes in the spare room closet. He pulled out all four silver chairs and set them up to the table and moved Kurt's vintage chairs to the spare room and put them in front of the window on a slight angle towards each other, where the girls could sit and talk if they wanted to. He moved a few of the winter coats that were in the closet to the coat closet since they wouldn't need to get in and out of it.

A few minutes after he had finished those tasks, the dryer buzzed and he took the sheets out and remade the bed in the spare room first. Making brought a smile to his face because it reminded him of the night that he and Kurt had slept in the bed he'd bought and realized that it was more comfortable, but they liked sleeping in Kurt's room. So, an hour after they'd laid down, they got up and switched the beds and remade them with the right bed linens and went back to bed in the room they were used to sleeping in. When he finished, he moved to their room and put the clean sheets on.

He went through their cabinets and took inventory, making a detailed shopping list. They needed food for a week for four people, but nothing extra that wasn't shelf stable or freezable. He put the list in his backpack. He planned to do the shopping on their way back after surprising Kurt at Vogue because he wanted to stay in the whole afternoon and evening relaxing before their week-long guests arrived. As soon as the delivery he had been waiting on arrived, he set everything up and made sure it worked. Afterwards, he left to go meet Kurt at Vogue.

* * *

When Kurt exited the elevator in the lobby, he saw Sebastian leaning against the wall near the exterior doors. He rushed over to him, carrying the flowers he had wrapped in wet paper towels and put them back in the collapsible plastic vase they had come in. "Bas! What are you doing here?"

"Surprising you, of course." He reached for Kurt and pulled him close. He guided them out the door and took the flowers so he could hold Kurt's hand.

"Thank you for the flowers."

"You're welcome. So, we're going to do our shopping now and then go home and stay there."

"Well, that sounds intriguing. I see you've brought our shopping bags, so you've done your planning and plotting well," he teased. He squeezed Sebastian's hand. He looked over at him and smiled.

Sebastian smiled back at him and winked. "I'm always planning and plotting to get more snuggle time."

"Ooh, is that on the agenda for our extended time at home alone?"

"Definitely. Putting the groceries away is the first thing on the agenda, and in second place is a surprise, and last but not least, in third place is the snuggling."

"Hmm. That must be some surprise you've planned for you to put it ahead of the snuggling." He leaned into Sebastian.

"None of that, beautiful. You're not going to cute your way into getting me to tell you anything about the surprise."

* * *

Sebastian stopped in front of the door after he unlocked and opened it. He removed his backpack from Kurt's back and put it inside the door. "Close your eyes." He guided Kurt into their bedroom. "Stay here until I come back for you. I know you want to help with the groceries, but that won't work. Do you have a project you can work on for a bit?"

"Sure. Can I have a kiss before you leave?"

"Of course." Sebastian kissed him. Once I close the door, you can open your eyes.

Kurt straightened his desk up, putting away small things that had gotten left out here and there while he had worked on his final project.

It didn't take Sebastian long before he was back. He opened the door. "Close your eyes again. I'm just going to lead you to the sofa. And I just want you to sit there with your eyes closed until I say to open them, okay?"

"Of course." He closed his eyes and put his hand on Sebastian's shoulder and followed him out to the living room. He ran his hand along the back of the sofa and walked around the end until Sebastian stopped.

"Turn and sit down. And still keep your eyes closed until I say. Sebastian went to the corner of the room and took a seat on a stool. He pressed the midi controller to start the bass part he had recorded before he left. He began to play the cello part of Rossini Duetto in D Major. When there was a small break in the cello part, he said, "Open your eyes." He went back to playing.

Kurt sat wide-eyed and entranced as he watched and listened to Sebastian finish the song. As soon as it ended, Kurt was up and on his feet. "Oh, my God. That was amazing, Bas. Absolutely beautiful. Can you record the cello part you were playing with the bass part you already recorded?"

"I can if you want me to."

"I definitely do. I have never seen these in person. They are really cool. I like the color of the wood and they look so unusual."

"Well, when I asked my mom about sending my cello and bass here, I got a resounding 'no', which honestly surprised me. She said there was no way on earth my cello or bass were ever going to ride on the subway to perform around the city somewhere. So, she had me pick out these electric versions, which are actually really cool. I played around with them and the midi controller earlier. These electric versions will let me be heard alongside the electric guitar and the keyboard without being drowned out."

"They're perfect. We can each carry one and not break our necks or hopefully be robbed."

"I hope not, but someone tries to steal it, just give it to them. $500 for another electric cello is not a big deal versus you getting hurt."

"Don't I know it?" He rolled his eyes in aggravation just thinking about the medical bills he had to pay recently.

"Not like that."

"I know what you mean, but I'm right too." He picked up an envelope on the table addressed to him. "Oh, I have the weirdest news. Professor Carlton wants to give me weekly 1-hour lessons at no charge."

"Isn't he like the really good voice teacher you were talking about?"

"That's the one."

"You're taking him up on the offer, right?"

"Of course."

Sebastian said, "That was delivered with my instruments and stuff. I had to sign for it."

Kurt opened it and read it. He sat down at the table and read it a second time.

_Mr. Hummel,_

_Sometimes in the biggest of cities, it's still a small world. Mitchell is my good friend's son. When you said his name in my office the other day, I put two and two together. His parents had mentioned several times how they wished they could do something for the man that had saved their son's life._

_When I realized you were that man, I told them that I had figured it out from our conversation. Your injuries and your looks fit the description of the man Mitchell described who ran to his aid._

_As per doctor-patient confidentiality, they have no idea of your name or any way to identify you. I went with them to the bank and told the teller the name to write on the check with the cash that Mitchell's parents gave me._

_From what I was able to determine, hopefully this will be sufficient to cover the cost of your medical bills and your lost wages from not being able to work. Unfortunately, I can't do anything about getting your job back, but hopefully this will be enough to last you until you can find another one._

_Please know that will in no way negatively impact Mitchell's family's finances. Even if it did, they would gladly give you every penny of it to have Mitchell alive and well. His injuries were extensive, but he's making a full recovery._

He looked in the envelope and saw the cashier's check. He handed Sebastian the letter to read.

After he read it, he asked, "How much is the check for?"

Kurt showed it to him. "He came very close to the right figure. He's about $500 short, but he probably didn't know about the x-ray they took to make sure I didn't have any fractures near the cut on temple. And when he asked me how many hours I worked the first time I went in, I just said about 20 a week, when it was technically 22. But he was really close and I'm rambling. I'm just shocked." He put the letter and put it back in the envelope.

"So am I, but it's amazing. Now, you won't have to worry about your books and expenses for this semester. You could technically not go back to work anywhere besides at _Vogue_ with Aunt Izzie."

"I liked working at JJ's though. Maybe not for so many hours, but I like fixing things. There's just something really rewarding about taking something that won't work and making it work."

Kurt put the envelope in his satchel before he sat back down on the sofa. "Will you play me another song before we snuggle and make out?"

"Absolutely."


	42. Chapter 42

Marley released Kurt from the bear hug she had given him.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" Kurt asked. "By the way, I love that dress on you."

"Um, maybe this duffel. I should have braided my hair because it keeps getting caught under the strap." She slipped it off and handed it to him. "And the dress is courtesy of Jillian. She let me go though all of the clothes she never wears."

"It looks a lot better on Marley than it ever did on me."

Marley rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it looked great on you," she looked down at it and smiled. "But I'm keeping it."

Kurt lengthened the strap a bit and put the duffel bag over his shoulder crossbody. He took her hand.

Sebastian grabbed Jillian's hand.

She turned and looked at him like he had lost his mind.

"Just relax, Jilli. It's just so we don't get pushed apart trying to get on the train. You don't know your way around yet. Once you do, you can do whatever you want, but we have plans for today and they don't involve playing hide and seek in the subway."

"Well, damn," Marley teased. "That's one of my New York City bingo squares."

Kurt laughed.

They stayed together as they made their way to the train.

"I have news," Marley said, once they were seated on the train. "I got the approval to graduate early. I'm so excited, and so ready to be done with high school."

"That's… shocking," Kurt said. "It's amazing, though. I didn't know you were even trying to do that."

"Only Jillian knew. She helped me research to see if there was a way to do it after we got to know each other and I told her about McKinley and everything. My first high school in Columbus offered seven classes per semester. McKinley only offered six. My new school in Columbus offers eight. It's super weird. Four classes a day with a Monday, Wednesday, every-other-Friday block and a Tuesday, Thursday, every-other-Friday block. Most people take three classes and a study hall in each block. The school counselor said that all of the jocks do, so they have more time to get homework done and still go to practices. Classes will be like an hour and a half long each. Anyway, I need 21 credits to graduate, so 7+6+8=21. I just have to take two English classes. And the junior and senior social studies classes. I'll have those, plus Chemistry, Algebra 2, French 3, and Choir."

"That's a lot of reading," Sebastian said.

"It is, but it will be worth it to get out of high school and move on. I'm just really over the drama of it all. And since my birthday is in August, I'll still turn 18 before college starts next fall. I'm applying to places here. I'm going to apply for scholarships too. Jillian and I are going to leave no stone unturned. And if I don't get any of them, I'm going to go to one of the CUNY schools because with my mom's income, I should be able to get grants and afford it without going a gazillion dollars into debt."

Kurt asked, "What about you, Jillian? Have you decided on college or not?"

"I'm going to apply to NYU for the fall. I think I might be interested in interior design like Aunt Nina. But I was also thinking that I might like architecture, specifically green design and using renewable resources."

"At NYU, like Mom?" Sebastian asked.

"I'm not sure. I haven't looked into it much yet, but I loved working on the Women Build project. I'm looking forward to working on more of Aunt Nina's projects this fall. Marley and I are going to sign up to take a woodworking class for six weeks with carpenter that one of the people we met from the Women Build knows. And we're looking for someone to give us sewing lessons. I know you could do it, Kurt, but I'm not sure Skype lessons would work that well. But if we can't find anyone, maybe we could give it a try. Mom's willing to pay for the lessons."

"Maybe it could work, but there are actually a lot of really good videos on YouTube. Maybe you should just start there with something simple and see whether you even enjoy it."

"Whether I do or don't, I'm going to learn how anyway," Jillian insisted. "I'm not going to live my life not knowing how to do basic repairs. It's Marley that wants to see if she likes it."

"I do want to know. I want to try a lot of things. High school just doesn't teach us about any real life activities. Or at least they don't tell us how what we're learning applies to real life."

Kurt nodded. He took his phone out and pulled up the photos of the finished costume he had turned in the day before.

"Oh, my God, Kurt. That's fantastic," Marley said.

Kurt turned the phone so Jillian could see next.

"Oh, wow. That is amazing. I am never going to be able to do that," Jillian said. "I'll settle for being able to fix a hem that comes out, to sew on buttons that fall off, and repair a long seam that opens, like my long boxers I sleep in. The thread in the seam popped and now my backside is going to be on view soon. I actually brought them with me in hopes that Kurt could fix them up easily."

"Two minutes – after my machine is set up. Super easy."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"We're looking at taking cooking classes somewhere too."

"Aunt Victoria is a good cook," Sebastian insisted.

"I know. I've thought about that. Maybe we could do both. Going go a cooking class is like a fun social thing to do."

"That's true," Kurt said. "Maybe you could let your mom teach you to make your favorite meals and then take an Indian or Greek cooking class or something. That way it would seem like your dissing your mom's skills, but you're looking to branch out and learn other types of dishes."

"That's actually a perfect mix. I don't want Mom to think that I don't like her food because I do."

"You said your first high school was in Columbus. Why on earth did you move to Lima to start with?" Sebastian asked.

"The same reason we moved to Lima," Jillian said.

"She's right. My mom was a lunch lady at the elementary school in the district we lived in, but the school decided that it was more cost effective to have the meals delivered by an outside company and they let all of the lunch ladies go. McKinley had an opening. My mom took it. When our names moved up on the Habitat list back in the spring, I knew we'd move if we got selected. And somehow Sue started transferring all of the New Directions members to North Lima and Thurston when we came back from Nationals. My mom just decided to move us back to Columbus and started looking for jobs. We moved into a month-by-month place that was basically a rundown motel during the build, but it was okay. And now we have this adorable cute little house. My mom is so excited. I'm happy for her." Her expression changed excitement to concern. "I haven't told her yet about graduating early. That's going to be tough. It's not that I want to leave her alone, but I just want to live somewhere else for a while. Even if I don't stay in New York after college. It might be really cool to live in several different places around the country before I settle down somewhere. I've only ever been here for a few days and in LA for a few days at Nationals. There's just so much to see. I'm super stoked about going to Florida."

Kurt was really happy for Marley. She had been so distraught when she had first called Kurt back in the spring. He said, "I'm excited to go back. It's just so different there. Like you said. Even if it's not a place you'd want to live forever, it's really fun to visit."

"Is it stupid that I am sooo excited to go to Disney World?"

"If it is, then I'm in the same boat," Kurt said. "I've never been and I'm such a huge Disney nerd. You cannot even."

Jillian said, "Sebastian could rival you, I'm sure. Him and Alexis." She rolled her eyes, teasingly.

"We're just brave enough to admit it. You're a secret Disney nerd and you know it," Sebastian sassed back.

Jillian didn't respond. "How much longer until we're there?"

"Not too much, Jilli," Sebastian said. "You can stand up and stretch. No one cares."

"Ooh, good idea. It feels like we've been sitting forever. I don't know how you two fly comfortably at all. We're both 5'8" and we had no leg room."

"We're squished," Sebastian said. "It's not comfortable, but there's nothing to do about besides fly first class."

She stood up and moved around a bit, stretching her back. "That's better." She sat back down next to Sebastian.

Two stops later, they all got off and headed to the apartment. Kurt unlocked the door and let everyone in.

"Ooh, I like it," Jillian said as she got to the end of the kitchen wall. "It's modern, but it doesn't feel cold and impersonal. Those paintings are beautiful."

"Kurt's mom painted those," Sebastian said.

Kurt carried Marley's bag into their spare room and put it on the end of the bed. "There's room for you to hang things in the closet. We'll give you a few minutes to unpack." Kurt stepped out and made a quick trip into the bathroom.

Sebastian was waiting for him in the hall and took his hand and led him to their bedroom and closed the door behind them.

"Is something wrong?"

"Not at all, gorgeous." He stepped closer and kissed Kurt. "I just wanted to kiss you. I know you've been talking to Marley for months, but I don't know how she feels about PDA, especially gay PDA. And I very much wanted to kiss you. Not that that's anything new, but still…" His voice trailed off as he kissed Kurt again.

Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck and played with his hair as they continued to kiss, causing Sebastian to moan slightly. Kurt loved how much Sebastian liked to have his hair played with. When they broke apart for air, Kurt pressed his forehead to Sebastian's and smiled. "You are a very good kisser." He pecked him on the lips. "They should have time to unpack by now. Let's not keep them waiting."

Sebastian let his hands slide down past Kurt's waist where they had been. "M'kay." He kissed Kurt once more. "Mmm. I love you."

"And I love you. Are you ready for our roles as go-fers?"

"Sure. Jillian has always loved bossing me around. Nothing new."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "You love her."

"I do. I did before, even when she was a pain. We're fine now. Like you said, she's happier. Happier people are nicer people."

"Come on." Kurt tried to step back, but Sebastian's hands on his butt didn't let him move. "No time for philosophical discussions. They're waiting, I'm sure."

Sebastian pulled him closer and kissed him once more before letting go.

* * *

Their shopping trip was successful and Marley purchased two geometric, Boho-inspired swimdresses with wide shoulder straps in muted jewel tones that looked like short empire waist sundresses and two pairs of mid-thigh length spandex swim shorts in navy and black, which mixed and matched with dresses.

On their way back, the guys took them to Mercado sin mancha and showed them where they did most of their shopping. Both of them had requested to get to see what it was actually like living in New York City, so the guys had planned to take them to do all of their normal errands. They had only done the actually shopping the day before because they had plans to see a free concert Saturday afternoon.

Once they looked around the market, they ate lunch at the taquería inside the store before they headed to Central Park.

After the concert, they walked around the park for a while before going back to the apartment.

* * *

When they got back, they all had big glasses of ice water.

"It feels so good in here. It's so hot outside." Marley said.

Jillian asked, "So what to you two usually do on Saturday evenings?"

"Honestly, schoolwork," Kurt answered. "Until recently, I worked Saturdays from 6 until noon. I'd come home, we'd eat lunch, do our shopping, put everything away, cook dinner together, eat, and then we'd do schoolwork."

"That's not very exciting," Jillian teased.

"Well," Sebastian said, "It may not sound exciting, but it was nice to just sit together, relaxed in our own place, and doing our work quietly."

"You were at the New Directions party, Marley."

Her eyes grew big, and then she nodded and rolled her eyes. "I told Jillian all about it."

"Before I moved in with Sebastian, I was living with Rachel and Santana, who hadn't quite grown out of her bitch phase yet. I mean seriously, one night they crept into my area of the loft and tried to stick my hand in warm water to see if it would make me wet the bed."

"No way," Jillian said.

"I have lots of examples of living in chaos. I barely had time to sleep and I needed to do well in school. Being able to just sit down and relax where I live and study without constant distractions is amazing. Excitement has a place in life, but so does calm and quiet."

"I get that. I know a lot of people love living in dorms, but I'm not feeling it. I think that's one of the main reasons going to college this year didn't appeal to me. I didn't want a roommate I didn't know. I didn't want the chaos and commotion and constant partying, but a lot of colleges require freshmen and sometimes sophomores to live on campus. That's one upside to New York City colleges is that most don't have that requirement, but I also didn't feel like coming here and living on my own. I'm not doing a good job of explaining it, but I'm glad I'm taking a gap year and giving myself time to figure out what I really want to do."

Sebastian said, "Unfortunately for Kurt, he still has two final exams this coming week, so he will be studying in our room while the three of us or the two of you watch a movie or listen to music and read or whatever you want to do. You're not prisoners. You could even go out. There are plenty of books on the shelves in your room if you'd rather stay in. Surely one of them would appeal to you."

"No worries. We brought our own books to read," Jillian said.

"Yeah, Jillian introduced me to a funny murder mystery series. I've been checking them out at the library." She went in the other room and brought out the one she was reading.

"Wait." He looked more closely. "I showed you the first one of these in Florida."

"You did. I started it there. When I went back to Columbus, I bought a copy to finish reading it and I told Marley about it. I told her she could read copy when I finished, but she went to the library and checked it out because I kept laughing when I was reading it."

Sebastian laughed. "Are they all as funny as the first one?"

Marley answered. "Well, there are 15 now, but we're only on number four. We're limiting ourselves to one every other week. And so far, yes. They're all just as funny."

Kurt said, "So… After dinner, I'll be heading to the realm of Statistics-land where outliers, means, medians, modes, and graphs of all sorts live."

Sebastian smiled. "I could join you and quiz you."

"Sure."

"Dinner first, though," Kurt said. "You two can observe or help."

* * *

The next morning, after Kurt artfully drizzled some glaze over the top of the loaf of cinnamon apple walnut bread he had made the night before, Jillian put birthday candles in the shape of the number 17 on it. They put it in the middle of the table along with the box and the small gift bag containing Jillian's gifts that Kurt had bought locally, wrapped, and kept hidden in the coat closet, along with the envelope that was from him and Sebastian.

Sebastian came out of the bathroom and joined Kurt while Jillian went to get Marley. Kurt lit the candles while she was gone. Once she stepped out into the living room, the other three began to sing to her.

Marley could not have looked more surprised. When the finished she asked, "What is going on?"

"It's a birthday party, of course," Jillian said. "Come on. Blow the candles out and make a wish."

She blew them out. "My birthday was Friday."

Sebastian took photos.

"We know, but we're celebrating today," Jillian insisted. She pulled the candles back off and laid them on a napkin.

Kurt grabbed a knife and sliced them each a piece to eat. "Coffee or milk?" He handed them their choices.

Once they had their drinks, they sat down together and ate.

"You really didn't need to do this."

"Of course, I did. I have never had a best friend and I've always wanted one. And now that I have one, I would be a terrible one if I didn't do something fun for you for your birthday. This is just the beginning."

"The beginning? This is already too much."

Sebastian fake whispered to Marley, blocking his mouth with his hand, "Just go with it. It will be more fun. She'll be happy if you're having fun. And people are nicer when they're happy."

Jillian played slapped him on the arm. "Sebastian!"

"What? It's true. I know from personal experience. Ask Kurt. Wait, never mind. Don't ask Kurt. Just take my word for it."

"I remember how sullen and what a smartass you were when you came back from Paris. Neither one of us was happy and we annoyed the crap out of each other. If you were annoying the crap out of Kurt, I'm surprised he speaks to you, much less wants to be with you."

Marley looked at Kurt. "I know what he did, in case you think I don't. Finn told me about that and about Jesse St James and when you had your set list stolen during your first Sectionals when we waited outside in the cold for everyone to show up last year when Sue made it so that we couldn't use any rooms inside the building. We were the only ones there for a bit. It was his version of a pep talk, which was mostly for himself. He said that New Directions had overcome those things and that being forced to practice outside the building wasn't going to bring us down either."

Kurt smiled and imagined Finn doing just that. He nodded. "That was a long time ago. He apologized back then and again this spring. As we got to know each other, I decided we were a case of meeting each other at the wrong time. He wasn't in a good place, and I was neurotic and trying to hold onto something I should have let go of. It wasn't a good mix. But we're good now. Really good. So are you ready to open your presents? The card and the gift bag are from us."

"I am. I'm curious." She picked up the card first. She laughed as she finished reading it. She looked at the gift card. "I've never heard of this store."

Sebastian said, "It's a place in Florida. It's so when we get there you can get some good shoes to wear to the beach. The beach we like has a lot of shells and you won't want to go barefoot."

"Thank you. I'm sure my feet will be very appreciative." She turned to Jillian. "I didn't see you pack any beach shoes."

"I left mine at the house in Florida. I don't need them in Ohio."

"Makes sense."

"Open the box next," Jillian said.

Marley unwrapped it to find a pair of cream-colored Vans with the gum soles.

"I got them because they'll go with all of your dresses and skirts. You usually wear your brown boots or dressy flip flops with them, which will not work for all of the walking and bike riding we're going to do, and I know you hate how your white Converses look with your dresses."

"I do. I wear them all the time with my shorts and jeans, but not my other clothes." She pulled out the contents of the gift bag. "These are adorable. I love them." She held a pack of low-cut socks in muted fall colors that would match her dresses and skirts. "Where did you find super low-cut socks like this with a ruffle opening? I like how the sock is all the same fabric, but the weave, or whatever, makes the opening ruffled like that. I'm going to buy more of these wherever they came from. I want all of my socks to look like this." She opened the package and put the cream-colored pair on and tried the shoes on." She got up and walked around, stopping once to adjust the laces. "They fit. So, what do you think?"

"Go put on one of your dresses and look at yourself in the full-length mirror in our room," Kurt suggested.

She came back a few minutes later and spun in a circle. "I love them. They're sporty, but cute. And the socks rock. I'm serious that I need you to take me to wherever they came from. I'm buying at least two more packs. Another pack of multi-colored ones and an all-white pack to wear with my Converses."

Kurt smiled. "We can do that later this afternoon after the stores open. If no one wants any more of this, I'm packing it up. We need to get ready to go to the flea markets." When no one moved to take more, he got up and put it away.

* * *

The four of them climbed into the town car when it pulled up.

As soon as Jillian pulled the door closed she introduced Marley. "Aunt Izzy, this is my best friend, Marley."

"It's nice to finally meet you, Marley."

"You too."

"So, did any of you find anything good?" Isabelle asked as they pulled off.

"I did," Jillian said. "I'm wearing it. It's this really cool belt. You'll be able to see it when we get out."

Marley said, "I found these really cool dangly earrings that aren't heavy. And I found some headbands that I really like. Oh, and some bangle bracelets." She held her wrist up for Isabelle to see.

"Nice. What about you two?"

Kurt said, "Well, I found some vintage fabric that I have no idea what I'm going to make with it."

She laughed. "Inspiration will come at some point, I'm sure."

Sebastian said, "I found a really old puzzle book from the 1920s."

"Only you, honey. You buy things that give you more problems to solve when you study physics and math that looks like someone dumped the alphabet, Greek symbols, and numbers on the page," she teased.

"I'm going to take the shorter ones and turn them into a game."

"Which you will trounce all of us at, no doubt," she winked at him.

He rolled his eyes. "We also found a cool cookbook."

"Now, that sounds more my style. I know you cook and so does Kurt, and you've never invited me over for dinner, despite knowing that I can't even make boxed macaroni and cheese come out tasting right."

"We'll fix that," Kurt assured her. "You tell us when you're free, and it's a date."

* * *

Marley and Jillian stood in awe as the walked into the Vogue Vault.

"So, you two can look around and try on whatever you want and Sebastian can take photos of you. And afterwards, I have a stash of stuff that's actually available for you to keep that you can look through, try on, and decide if you want to take it home with you."

"You've got to be kidding," Marley said.

"Nope. Not kidding, honey. We'll spend an hour playing dress up and then we can move on."

Jillian grabbed Marley's hand and pulled her towards the racks. "Come on. Let's find something amazing to put on."

Isabelle turned to Sebastian. "I know you don't have any formal clothes that fit you properly. I have put back a few suits for you to try. They'll still need tailored possibly, but I'm pretty sure that Kurt can handle that," she winked at him. "So, this way, if you please."

Sebastian looked at Kurt, who shrugged and shook his head slightly, indicating that he had no idea what Isabelle had. Sebastian followed her as she had asked. He went into the small dressing area and put on the first suit and came out. Marley and Jillian came out of the other dressing area at the same time.

"Oh, wow," Isabelle said. "Kurt, you have to go put on one of those suits from the rack that looks good with these three. We need some photos."

Kurt nodded and made a quick choice and slipped into the dressing room that Sebastian had been in and changed quickly.

The hour passed quickly as the four of them posed for photos, Marley and Jillian more than the guys, but they joined in when Isabelle insisted. She used one of the Vogue cameras and got some really good shots.

"Alright. Let's get these put back. I'll see what I can do about keeping that charcoal suit for you, Kurt. It really looks good on you. Sebastian, you can take all three of those suits. Kurt can get them looking perfect. You can sell that suit you were to _Funny Girl_. I love your mom, but she really should have let me buy your clothes."

Sebastian laughed.

By the time they finished, Marley said, "I'm going to need a suitcase. All I brought was my backpack and a fairly small duffel bag since I knew had to carry everything."

Isabelle said, "Not a problem. I actually just got a new set because the wheels on my larger pull-behind broke and it was a better deal to just get a new set than to buy another individual piece, which is ridiculous. But anyway, I have the smaller pull-behind and the carry on that goes with it in my closet in my donation stack. We'll swing by my place and I'll have Sebastian come up and get it."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. We'll just lay these out in the back of the town car for now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never did post a face claim for Jillian, so here it is: Camilla Belle. I imagine her looking like she does in this photo on her Wikipedia page. The photo is from 2009. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camilla_Belle#/media/File:Camilla_Belle_2,_2009.jpg


	43. Chapter 43

When they got back to the apartment that afternoon, Marley and Jillian laid out the clothes they had brought back from the Vogue Vault.

Marley said, "You knew about this ahead of time. That's why you hardly packed anything and told me to do the same, even though you brought the same size suitcase that Isabelle just gave me." She imitated Jillian, "'They have a washing machine and it's easier to travel light.' Right. Umm hmm." She rolled her eyes playfully.

"I did know. Aunt Izzie loves to have fun with fashion and I asked her to keep back whatever was left of the not-so-dressy stuff from the summer shoots when we were in Florida at the beginning of July. She said she had already kept back quite a bit of stuff, but when she saw my true taste in clothing, she went back and went through the men's stuff. So, I got these amazing shorts with awesome pockets." She picked up a shirt and held it up to herself. "And this shirt is amazing. Kurt said he could put darts in the back to make it fit a little better." She put it down and picked up another shirt. "And I love this."

"It does look really cute on you."

Kurt knocked on the open door.

"Come on in," Marley said. "You were in on this too, weren't you?"

"I was. I admit it. After Jillian said she wanted to go to the Vault for your birthday, I did go through the dressier stuff and brought those four more dressy dresses back in for you two to try on. I know that Jillian has adopted a more casual look this summer, but I figured that each of you owning a really lovely summer dress could never hurt. I mean, who knows, you could get invited to a dinner at a fancy restaurant or to go out dancing or something." He winked at Marley.

"Oh, my God. You did not."

"Did not what?" Sebastian asked from the doorway. "He probably did if it had something to do with spoiling the two of you."

Kurt turned and looked at Sebastian and gave him a look reminiscent of his Ice King glares.

Sebastian pretended to be wounded, putting his hand over his heart to protect it from the ice glare, "You know I'm right." His expression changed quickly to a genuine smile. He stepped into the room and wrapped his arms around Kurt from the back to test the waters of how Marley would react and nothing changed about her expression at all.

"Well, I'll freely admit that I'm not good at letting people do things for me," Marley shared.

"Me neither," Kurt said. "Sebastian can attest to that. But I've found it a lot easier to accept once I'd spent enough time with him to realize that he was never going to lord it over me. I was used to being around people who rarely did anything nice just because they wanted to. There was always a payback or the 'favor' was called in for something in return, along with the ever present 'you owe me' attitude."

"I'm getting there with Jillian," Marley said. "It's just overwhelming."

"The longer you're around people who value you as a person, the less overwhelming it feels. I promise." He leaned back into Sebastian.

"I can't believe she just let me have all the stuff. And this leather sling mini backpack." She picked it up and slipped it on. "It's the perfect size. And it matches these boots. Frye?... They're beautiful."

"They are, but they're too rugged looking for most of the people who work there to be interested, but they're like a super nice version of the boots you wear a lot."

"That came from Payless and are nearly shot."

"Which is why it's the perfect time to get a new pair," Jillian said. "Put them on and put on one of your dresses you usually wear with boots and go look. They are a little more rugged like Kurt said, but I still think they'll look good."

"I'm sure they will." She looked over at the suitcase Isabelle had given her. "That is not what I had envisioned." She ran her hand over the purple material. "It's so regal and much bigger than I had expected for a 'small' suitcase."

"It's Isabelle's favorite color. Aubergine," Kurt pointed out. "It's the perfect size for travel. And the matching carry on is really nice too."

"It is. I'm going to put my school backpack, which I actually love and found at a Goodwill brand new with the tags on it that said, $89.00 on them and I paid $10 for, and my duffel in the suitcase with everything else. It will be easier since the suitcase has wheels and the carry on slides down over the telescoping handles. I'm transferring my stuff from my backpack to this gorgeous new one." She switched into her British accent. "I'll look very posh and high-society."

"And I will be skater-chic with my new royal blue Vans with the gum soles that I could not find anywhere in Columbus-" She paused and looked at the tag. "-and this mini 'painted palm' Herschel's backpack that I scored this afternoon when we went to get your socks. They also had the tan shoelaces I've been looking for. I love that store by the way." She took the tag off the bag. She pulled the white laces out of her burgundy Vans she had on and put the dark tan ones in.

Kurt smiled. "I knew you would." He turned to Marley. "You should show Jillian the video of you being Posh."

She shrugged. "It's, well… you'll see." She pulled her phone out and let Jillian watch it.

Sebastian let go of Kurt and went to stand behind Jillian to watch too.

When it finished, she said, "Oh, my. That was something. You five were really good. Better than the Spice Girls definitely." She started turning the clothes inside out.

"You're just saying that." Marley followed what Jillian was doing and got the clothes she had picked ready to wash.

Jillian moved on to swapping white laces in her new blue Vans for the dark tan laces.

Sebastian said, "No. I agree. The five of you sounded great. The New Directions have always been really good. That's why I was hell bent on coming up with something to distract them when I first joined the Warblers."

Kurt said, "I think that you just don't understand how they worked. Distraction requires previous focus to be a successful method of sabotage. Our first Sectionals our set list was stolen. We came up with two new songs in an hour. We never practiced like the Warblers did. When I was Dalton, the New Directions wrote the two songs they sang the week before Regionals. You came at it from the same angle that Jesse St James did. It didn't work for Vocal Adrenaline, and it didn't work for you." He paused and looked at Marley. "I bet the girls didn't work on that for more than a day."

"We chose the song, and then we played around with it while we looked through the costumes in the storage area. We took what we found home with us, added to it, and practiced with the jazz band at lunch the next day, which is when we performed for the guys after school."

Jillian transferred her stuff from her pockets to the mini backpack. She pulled some stuff out of her carry on and put it in as well. She started collecting up the trash and putting it in the empty shoe box.

Kurt shrugged and scrunched his nose a bit they way he did when he knew he was right about something. "See what I mean? You can't distract people who are just naturally super talented and already have the attention span of a gnat." He wrapped his arm around Sebastian's waist. "You came closer to succeeding with the blackmail. That really upset Finn. And doubly so because Rachel wasn't willing to bow out to keep the photos from being posted online. She took a hard 'no negotiating with terrorists' stand."

Sebastian laughed. "I can just see her tiny self pointing her index finger up at him."

"You got it. Plus, we dealt with Coach Sylvester constantly. There is no one that rivals her shenanigans." He side hugged Sebastian and squeezed him. "You are far too young to be as devious as she is. She's got like 35 years experience on you."

Sebastian shook his head. "Well, I've given up my pursuit of villainy. I like snuggling a lot more." He moved back around behind Kurt again and wrapped his arms around him, propping his chin on Kurt's shoulder.

Jillian snorted she laughed so hard. "Oh, how the great and mighty Sebastian has fallen."

"Fallen in love, for sure. Best thing to ever happen to me." He kissed Kurt on the neck.

"Now, you're just being a sap," Kurt said. "Where's my snarky, smartass boyfriend?"

"I can't show you my smartass," he teased. "We're in mixed company. You'll have to wait."

Kurt's face flushed. "Why don't we get started on dinner? You two can get this stuff in the washer. "

"Sure."

"Why don't you stay and help them. Dinner is super easy." Sebastian let go of Kurt and walked out of the room.

"He was always so closed off. It's fun to see this side of him," Jillian said.

Kurt went in the closet and pulled brought the hangers they had bought for guests out with him and laid them on the bed. "You can use the dresser, if you haven't already. The shorts could go in there when they come out of the dryer later."

"We did, but there's plenty of room for the shorts."

"Jillian?" Sebastian called out from the kitchen.

She left to see what he wanted.

Marley took the new packs of socks out of the shopping bag. She took them out of the packaging and put them in the second dresser drawer. "I'm tossing most of mine." She pulled out a stack and sorted through them. "They were old anyway." She picked up another pack. "I like the taller ones for my new boots. My mom's going to think I've lost my mind spending so much money on socks, but at least they were on sale. Buy two packs, get one free."

"I've told myself that so many times," he chuckled. "They were 'buy one, get one half off' when I went. But the socks really suit you. When I saw them, I just had to get them. And you said your old ones needed replaced."

She turned a couple over and showed him the holes in the heels and toes on several of them. She tossed them into the shoe box where Jillian had been collecting trash.

"I don't think your mom will be upset. It's not like you went and bought a $75 bow tie."

"Is that how much bow ties cost?"

"Most of the one's you've seen did," he said. In an attempt to divert the topic in a different direction, he moved on quickly. "You know, I've been where you are," Kurt said. "When I needed a place to go to get out of the loft after the proposal that day, Sebastian offered to let me stay here. I couldn't afford to pay rent on a second place until I could get Santana, or someone else, to take over my half of the rent on the loft. And I felt really guilty for living here without paying any rent."

"Yeah, I bet."

He grabbed the whole stack of clothes and carried them to the washer, while she waited for him to come back after he started the load.

"And then once I had the loft issue settled, Sebastian still didn't want me to pay him anything. He owns this place. His parents gave it to him as a graduation gift. No one else knows that I'm not splitting costs. I mean his family knows, but no one in the New Directions does. It took me a while to come to grips with it. I felt like a mooch for quite a while." He walked past her and sat in one of the chairs they had put in front of the window.

She nodded. "I just don't want to be a charity case. I've felt like that so much of my life." She sat down as well.

"I can guarantee that Jillian doesn't see you as a charity case. She picked clothes she wanted too. She really just wanted to do something fun. It didn't cost anyone anything. I know you're struggling, but if you can let it go, you'll feel a lot better. Jillian's and Sebastian's families both have money. Jillian's less than Sebastian's, but they aren't classist or elitist. Think about it. If one day you work a job that pays a lot of money and you have a daughter with a best friend, would you be the least bit bothered by paying for both of them to do something together?"

"No."

"Then there you go. Have you ever paid for something for someone else?"

"Sure."

"Did you want them to enjoy it or feel bad about it?"

"Enjoy it, of course. I get what you're trying to get me to see. Jillian's grandparents spending money on me doesn't affect them financially like it would me. Them paying for my ticket to Disney World is like me buying someone a gumball or something."

"Yeah, in one of those old-fashioned gumball machines that takes pennies."

Marley smiled.

"I think you just have to think about the fact that generous people are generous within their means. Really think about how you'd feel if someone rejected your 'lesser' generosity. When someone who can afford to buy their kid an apartment in New York City offers to pay for your $20 dinner, it's really not a big deal to them. I'm certain if we're both still around in five years, they'll begin to expect us to pay for our own dinners. Right now, we're still kids to them. It just so happens that you and I grew up long before a lot of people do."

She nodded and sighed. "I'll stop. I don't want to make Jillian uncomfortable. Her parents pay for most everything still. And I want this next week to be fun. I'm getting to do things I've only barely let myself daydream about."

"You and me both. But one of their grandparents' graduation gifts was for the two of them go get to take a friend to Disney World for a week. Everything paid for. But they opted to negotiate."

Marley chuckled. "Who negotiates their gifts?"

"Sebastian and Jillian obviously. So, now were doing two days, one night at Disney in a shared room in the least expensive hotel with one character breakfast and regular meals otherwise. And you know what we're doing with the rest."

"Something I can't even say out loud because it sounds so ridiculous."

"Exactly."

"Dinner's done," Jillian called out.

Kurt got up and held out his arms and offered Marley a hug, which she accepted. He let her go and they headed out to the kitchen to join the other two.

* * *

Kurt had everyone in the group introduce themselves to Marley and Jillian.

"Wait," Marley asked Kurt. "Chandler's from Lima? Is he THE Chandler?"

"I am indeed THE Chandler," he teased. "At least I'd like to think I'm that cool. I actually have no idea what you're talking about."

Marley looked at Kurt, who nodded.

"Oh," Chandler got it. "You're asking if I'm the one Kurt supposedly cheated with. That's me. Me and my ridiculous puns. Kurt and I texted for a couple of days and then he blocked my number without saying why. We met back up several weeks back. I got to NYU."

"So he sent you texts with puns in them?"

"Yeah, like the kind that go on Valentine's for elementary kids. 'You must be an astronaut because you're out of this world.'"

Marley snorted. "That's it?"

"Oh, I invited Kurt to meet up with me once we both moved to New York to go around the city and visit every place we've ever seen in a movie."

"So, planned sightseeing and puns? Tina told us that you had cheated on Blaine first, but that he took you back after you sang an apology song."

"God, not all of this again," Santana said as she came in. "Sorry I'm late. We had to stay after for some notes from the matinee. One of the guys has to have some surgery and his understudy messed up some stuff this afternoon. Hey, Marley and Jillian, I presume."

Marley nodded. "So Tina lied?"

"Tina repeated what Blaine said. It doesn't matter. Chandler is our drummer and we're all friends and I've never cheated on anyone. Next topic. Tonight we're going to practice Dani's original song 'Nightingale' and see if we can get it ready to perform tomorrow evening."

Jillian and Marley sat down and watched. Kurt sat down at the keyboard. Dani picked up her electric guitar and stood next to Santana. Elliott grabbed his acoustic guitar and stood to the other side. Sebastian stood with the bass, ready to come in. Chandler tapped his drumsticks together four times and the music started.

* * *

When they got back that evening, Kurt went straight to study more for his Statistics final. Marley and Jillian took turns ironing their clothes and rehanging them in the closet while the three of them watched _Downton Abbey_ after Marley saw that they had the first and second seasons on DVD.

They all got up early the next morning and went with Kurt to campus. While he took his exam, the other three walked around the campus. They stopped and got smoothies on the way to the subway. Kurt went to work his shift at Vogue, while the other three continued on and went on an official NYU tour for the afternoon.

Before Kurt got home from work, they worked together to prepare dinner. Once they had finished eating, Kurt and Sebastian changed into black and red clothing and the girls changed to go out to hear the band play. Isabelle picked them up in a town car making it easier for him to take his electric double bass. They stopped to pick Santana and Dani up on the way.

* * *

"Have your driver's licenses ready," Kurt said. "The three of us will get carded for sure."

"I didn't realize that it was a bar," Marley said. "I don't have a fake ID."

"Neither to we," Sebastian said. "You can get in with your driver's license. You just can't drink. New York rules are weird. If the place serves food and alcohol, anyone over 16 can go in. Some places have their own rules requiring everyone to be 21 or 25, but the place we're going doesn't. You show your ID, you get a stamp on your hand – a smiley face if you're 21 or over or the word NO stamped on your hand if you're not."

"Don't worry," Kurt said. "Your mom knows. That's why Isabelle is coming with us."

The car pulled up and they all piled out and got in line. Chandler and Elliott were waiting right inside for them.

They found two tables and pushed them together. After Kurt did the introductions, Elliott went up and signed them up to sing. They ordered some appetizers and drinks. When it was their turn, they sang Dani's song and the crowd really got into it. They all took a small bow and went back to sit down. They talked and enjoyed a few of the other singers that performed.

Sebastian's name came up, and the rest of the group got up with him. Kurt looked at him.

He leaned over and kissed Kurt. He spoke directly into Kurt's ears. "This one is for you. I wrote the words. Elliott and Dani wrote the music. I love you."

Kurt managed to pull his phone out and record them. When they were on stage, Sebastian sang for Kurt, keeping his eyes on him the whole time.

_Seeing monsters out your window.  
I know you can't sleep. You pretend though.  
You don't have to play the hero.  
Cause I got you like you got me.  
When the earth shakes, when the bombs scream.  
'Til our last breath, every heartbeat  
You know I'll come running._

_If you go to war, then I'm going with you.  
Pick up my sword. Yeah, there's nothing I won't do.  
When you sound the alarms and the chaos is rising,  
Leading the charge, yeah I'm coming out fighting.  
I swear on the breath that I breathe.  
I'll never retreat. I'll be your army._

_Ah-ah, ah-ah, army.  
I'll be your army.  
Ah-ah, ah-ah, army._

_When your nightmares turn to real life,  
And the ground's filled up with landmines,  
We will face it standing side by side.  
You know I'll come running._

_When you need, I'm coming.  
You know I'll come running._

_If you go to war, then I'm going with you.  
Pick up my sword. Yeah, there's nothing I won't do.  
When you sound the alarms and the chaos is rising,  
Leading the charge, yeah I'm coming out fighting.  
I swear on the breath that I breathe.  
I'll never retreat. I'll be your army._

Jillian looked at Kurt, who had tears streaming down his cheeks. "I've never heard that song before," she said.

"He said he wrote the lyrics and Dani and Elliott wrote the music." He wiped his cheeks. "It was perfect."

Sebastian slid back in the booth next to Kurt, who pulled him close and kissed him, which shocked Sebastian to no end because Kurt wasn't usually that forward in public. He kissed back quickly once the shock wore off.

"I loved it. Thank you."

"You're welcome. There's an acoustic guitar part that will make it sound even better, but I wanted to surprise you first, so Elliott played the keyboard part." Sebastian wrapped his arm around Kurt's shoulders.

"Well, I was surprised for sure." He scooted as close to Sebastian as he could. "A good surprise." He said quietly, reminding himself. "When did you practice?"

"In the mornings when you were in class. First, Dani, Elliott, and I met to work on it. After we had it mostly figured out, Chandler reserved a room at NYU and Santana came and we all worked on putting it all together."

"You were very sneaky and I loved it. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

They rejoined the conversation that was going on at the table and enjoyed the other performers for a while before Kurt managed to convince Marley to go up and sing 'Chasing Pavements' with them backing her up.

When they sat back down, Jillian said, "That was amazing. I've never heard you sing live. You should definitely go back up and sing something else before we leave."

"I'll think about it," Marley said. "That was so much fun. Thank you for pushing me, Kurt. I just needed to get over my nerves. Everyone is so much closer here. It's more nerve-racking than a stage where you can barely see anything because of the bright lights. But I loved it."

About a half-hour later, they went back up and performed Kurt's song again. It had become a crowd favorite of the weeks that they had gone to the club.

Marley had put her name on the again and sang "New York State of Mind".

When she sat back down, she said, "That was fun, but it was a lot more fun to sing with you guys."

"I recorded you both times so you can show your mom," Jillian said.

"Thanks," she reached over and hugged Jillian. "She'll love that.

Isabelle said, "I'm glad I came. I do feel woefully under-talented now, but you all are really amazing. I would totally buy a CD if you ever get around to recording your songs."

"CDs take a ton of effort to get recorded for distribution," Kurt said. "I know that Mercedes has been working on hers ever since she went out to LA a year ago. We'd have to get a label to back us for something like that."

"Not necessarily. There are recording studios here that you can just rent by the hour. Once you've got enough original sounds for a full CD, like maybe eight, you could just go in and record them. They don't have to be perfect for you to give out to friends and family to listen to. I know it wouldn't make you any money or make you famous, but it would be a fun way to remember and record this time in your lives. Some people make scrapbooks or photo albums to keep. You could make a CD."

Santana said, "You know, that's actually a really cool idea. We should see how much it would cost. If we had eight songs, we could record each one three times and choose the one we like best and still spend less than two hours in a studio. I'm going to look into it."

"We have a sound studio at NYU," Elliott said. "I'll see how much it costs to use."

Isabelle smiled as the conversation got more enthusiastic about the idea.

* * *

Tuesday morning, Sebastian, Marley, and Jillian took a tour of Columbia while Kurt stayed home to study for his World History final. They came back for lunch. Afterwards, Kurt went to work and the others left again to go visit Hunter College and Baruch College to check out the programs.

For dinner, they met up at the High Line and browsed, each ending up choosing food from different places. They found a place to sit and eat while they listened to a string quartet play.

When they got back that evening they did laundry and packed for Florida. Kurt did a last study session while the other three watched a movie quietly.

* * *

A little after 3:00 on Wednesday, they boarded the Disney-provided bus at the airport. Marley and Kurt were practically vibrating with excitement. Sebastian let Kurt have the window seat. Jillian did the same with Marley. She watched Marley more than she did the view.

"This is going to be SO amazing," Kurt said. "I just know it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "original song" by Sebastian is actually "Army" by Basomorph & Arcando & Neoni.  
> Dani's "original song" is "Nightingale" by Demi Lovato.


	44. Chapter 44

The bus pulled up and let them off at the All-Star Movies hotel. They checked in and wandered through Cinema Hall and out the back to their rooms in the _Toy Story_ section.

"I cannot believe how cute this is," Marley said.

"It's so cheerful and fun," Kurt agreed.

Sebastian stopped in front of their rooms. "Here we are," he said. "Ladies' choice."

They opened both rooms and looked inside.

"They're the same," Jillian said. She went in the room on the left and took the two keycards for the room.

Sebastian held the door on the right open and Kurt walked through. They put their suitcases against the end of the dresser. Kurt turned in a circle taking in the artwork and the room. "It's mostly like a regular hotel room without the ugly artwork and bedspread." He wrapped his arms around Sebastian torso and hugged him. "This is going to be so much fun."

"It will be." He rested his hands on Kurt's lower back. "I get to spend time with you, so how can it not be fun?"

"What's with you being so sappy?"

"It's sappy to be happy with you?"

"No, actually it's really nice."

"Good surprises, right?"

"Yes." Kurt kissed him.

They got caught up in kissing and they both jumped when Marley knocked on the door adjoining their rooms. Kurt pecked Sebastian on the lips and stepped over to the door to unlock it.

"Are you guys ready?"

"We are," Kurt said.

* * *

They spent the rest of the afternoon in Downtown Disney. They went to Beaches and Cream for dinner and split two meals and one giant ice cream sundae for dessert.

Thursday they did the character breakfast and spent the whole day in the Magic Kingdom, making their way through the entire park. They chose to buy the PhotoPass for the day. They rode Dumbo, It's a Small World, the Buzz Lightyear laser ride, Space Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, went on the paddleboat cruise, visited the Haunted Mansion, Cinderella's Castle, and a lot of other rides and attractions, as well as touring through the stores on Main Street. They stayed for the fireworks at closing.

Their second day, they had bought park hopper passes and were in line at Animal Kingdom for the early entry. They spent the morning going on a safari. They took the monorail to Epcot and spent the rest of the day until closing there. They enjoyed visiting all of the pavilions and snacked their way through the afternoon, splitting things from every country they visited.

They took the bus back to the hotel and ate a late dinner. They picked up their luggage from storage, took Disney shuttle back to the airport, and found the car from the service they were using to get to St. Augustine. They put their luggage in the back and got in for the nearly two and a half hour ride. Since it was already so late, they did their best to nap on the drive.

* * *

Jillian gave Marley a quick tour of the house while Kurt and Sebastian moved the non-perishable food back to the kitchen and put the swimming and beach items in their rooms. Kurt gave Jillian her shoes when he walked past them. They went to their rooms and unpacked since it was already late.

Kurt pulled out a pair of boxer briefs and headed into the bathroom. Sebastian was right on his heels and slipped in as Kurt turned to shut the door. "Bas?"

"I'm not welcome?"

"Yes, of course, but the girls?"

"Are showering too, once they finish unpacking. I know when we were at home we went separately, but they're not going to know one way or the other whether we're in here together."

Kurt nodded. "Okay. I'll just turn red if they call us out on it."

"Your blushing is very attractive."

Kurt rolled his eyes and started to undress. When he pulled his shirt off, he looked up and saw Sebastian staring at him, with his lower lip pulled in. "Is something wrong, Bas?" He stepped closer and kissed him gently.

"Wrong? No, not at all." He wrapped his arms around Kurt's lower back. "You're just so beautiful. I just got caught up in watching you."

Kurt refrained from rolling his eyes, which was hard to do, but he was learning. "Do you need help getting undressed?"

"I think I might." He let go of Kurt long enough to let Kurt pull his shirt off. "It's been nearly two months since we were here."

"We've been crazy busy." Kurt kissed along Sebastian's shoulder as he reached down and button and unzipped Sebastian's shorts, letting them fall to the floor. He ran his index finger along some of Sebastian's freckles and traced "I", then drew a heart in the center of his chest, and then a "U".

Sebastian squirmed a bit, but didn't pull away even though it tickled. He stood there and let Kurt run his fingers all over his torso and arms with just enough pressure to both tickle, while being simultaneously relaxing. He closed his eyes and took in all of the sensations. "This feels amazing, but it's hard to stay standing while you do it. How about we shower and you keep doing this in the bed?"

Kurt nodded. He turned, finished undressing, and got in the shower. Sebastian followed him.

"We barely fit in here," Kurt said.

"All the better to be close to you." He took Kurt's shampoo and lathered up his hair. "After Jillian and Marley leave, I want us to pamper ourselves in the hot tub. I brought the stuff with us that we got that day a while back, but have never actually used."

"Sounds nice. I'm so spoiled. I love it when you do this."

"Me too." Feeling Kurt relax at his touch was nearly addictive with how high it made Sebastian feel. His heart soared with each moan or hum that Kurt made. Times like these made a little of his snark rise to the surface with the desire to mail Blaine a thank you card for being such a mindless, self-centered idiot for finally doing something awful enough that Kurt wouldn't just forgive him yet again. Now that Sebastian knew what it felt like to be the focus of Kurt's affection and love and he never wanted to be without it. He enjoyed Kurt's teasing and loved flirting with him.

"Bas?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"You were zoning out again. I was waiting for you to turn around so I can do yours."

He turned. "Not exactly zoning out. I was thinking about how much I love you." He reached back and put his hands on Kurt's upper thighs.

"I see." He massed Sebastian's scalp just the way he liked it. "And just what were you thinking about?"

Sebastian didn't want to bring up Blaine for sure, but he didn't want to lie either. "I was thinking about how much I enjoy being the focus of your affection and love and how much I enjoy flirting with you and you teasing me. And how much I just love to spend time with you and be close to you. You're so interesting to talk to and–" He shrugged. "I'm just really happy that we're together."

Kurt rinsed the shampoo out. He grabbed a washcloth, wet it, put Sebastian's body wash on it, and began to wash him. He washed his backside and then rather than turn him, he reached around from behind and continued.

"I can feel your love in every touch. I just feel so damn blessed is the only word because luck had nothing to do with it. You let you me in. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm imagining things, but then you do something that isn't anything I wouldn't have ever thought of and it just proves that it's real."

Kurt rinsed his shoulders and then kissed along the back of his neck. "I feel like that too sometimes. I wake up during the night from a bad dream and I feel you holding me or feel you with your head laying on my chest – and my breathing calms immediately. I feel so secure and cherished."

Sebastian turned and started to wash Kurt while he continued to talk.

"I think, though, the thing that has been most amazing is what it feels like to be loved all the time, not just when I do 'good' things. Like the night you came in from that lab you had to stay late for and you came in and found me asleep on the sofa instead of making dinner when it was my night to cook. You were exhausted because everything had gone wrong. And instead of getting mad, you ordered a pizza and curled up next to me on the sofa and we held each other until it was delivered."

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt. "That was a nice snuggle. I enjoyed every second of it. Holding you just made all of the frustration drain away."

"And you helped me learn not to just walk away and keep everything to myself. You helped me see that you wanted to know what I was thinking and how I felt, but you wouldn't pressure me if I wasn't ready to talk. You were there for me and you'd wait for me to be able to share." He finished rinsing and turned to face Sebastian and kissed him. "I love you. And it means the world to me that you trust me." Kurt kissed him breathless and leaned into him just enough that he took a step back and was pinned to the wall. "There's just one last thing I'd like to do before we get out." He winked at Sebastian, and this raised his eyebrow, asking.

"Yes, definitely yes."

* * *

Sebastian snuggled up tight behind Kurt and kissed his shoulder. "I thought you were tired."

"I am, but obviously my nearly 2-hour nap in the car convinced my body that I've already been to sleep for the night, but I don't want to keep you up. Do you want me to go toss and turn somewhere else?"

Sebastian tightened his hold on Kurt. "Nope. You're my teddy bear, even if you're squirmy."

Kurt chuckled. "I'm a pretty sad excuse for a teddy bear."

"I believe you said I was like a ferret. Long and lanky and utterly adorable."

"Mmm hmm. So, we're a pair of ferrets?" Kurt started humming "Muskrat Love".

Sebastian nearly chortled. "God, I love you. You're so funny, but we are way too thin to be muskrats."

"Could you pet me? That's really relaxing." He reached out for his phone. "I'm going to play some classical music and try to sleep." He scooted back into Sebastian's chest, but before Sebastian got started on his request, Kurt said, "I think I've figured it out. My parents are coming in a week. By then it will have been eight weeks since I've seen my dad and it's been since my birthday at the end of May, three months, since I've seen Carole. I've been looking forward to this and dreading it both. I think the dreading part hit me when we got here to the house. The trip to Disney World pushed it out of my mind because I was so excited to go there. What if–"

Sebastian ran his hand up Kurt's chest and placed it over his heart, gently interrupting his downward spiral of doubts. "Kurt, my parents will be here too. I think that will help. My dad can talk politics, or not, with your dad. My mom is a good conversationalist. She can keep Carole busy talking about home renovations and interior design for hours. And if she runs out of things to say about that, she can take Carole out shopping or out to see some of the amazing places around here. My parents are renting a car when they get here."

Kurt chuckled. "You're right. I'm fretting for no reason. Your parents will be a buffer. I just want Carole and my dad to have a good time. I need to relax and stop worrying."

"Now, that's an excellent idea," he teased. "So, is me petting you. How about we get on with that?"

* * *

The next morning, they got up and ate some breakfast bars and drank some coffee before they headed out to do some shopping. Jillian French braided Marley's hair while Kurt and Sebastian made the shopping list and got out the baskets from the closet to put on the bikes. Sebastian went out first and looked around the side of the house and motioned for the others to follow him. They got the bikes out and headed to the surf supply shop. They locked their bikes up and went inside.

When Marley walked up to the display of water shoes, she said, "There's like 20 options." She scanned the wall looking at all of her choices.

"Just pick a couple you think you'll like and try one on each foot. I love mine. I got these," she pointed to a turquoise, green, and gray pair. "They matched my swim stuff the best."

"These." Marley put them on and looked at her feet in the mirror. "The swim shorts I got were navy and black. And these are both along with pale blue in a pretty fern and leaf pattern." She put her Vans back on and took the water shoes to the register and paid with the gift card.

The cashier pointed out that she had about $5.00 left on the card and offered her a hair tie with wire in it to get her hair up off her back. Marley shrugged and chose a brown one to match her hair and ended up owing $.10. She handed over a dime and they left.

"Do you know how to put this in?" Marley asked Jillian.

"Sure. Turn around." Jillian slipped it in and wrapped Marley's hair and fastened it. "There."

"Thanks."

From the surf shop, they headed to the grocery store. They took the baskets inside, bought everything on the list, and took it back to the house. They put everything that needed to go in the refrigerator away, changed to go to the beach and left again.

* * *

Kurt and Sebastian were holding hands and walked behind Jillian and Marley as they reached the point where all they could see was pretty much sand and water.

"It's huge and fabulous." Marley took Jillian's hand and ran towards the water. She stopped and let go when they got to the edge.

Kurt and Sebastian caught up as the girls just stood still looking out over the water.

Jillian said, "I want to get some more shells and make more jewelry. Can you show us where you found the good shells the last time?"

"Sure. It's up that way a bit. Did you bring something to put them in?"

She pulled a ziptop bag with some napkins inside it out of her pocket.

"Perfect."

After they collected the shells they wanted, they went out into the water and splashed around. They built sand castles for a while before they went back out into the water again. They walked around and let the sun dry them before they went for a bike ride around the area and went in some of the shops to look around before they went back to the house for lunch.

They spent the hottest part of the afternoon inside working on the shell jewelry. Once the sun wasn't shining directly on the pool, they went out to the lanai and talked and horsed around in the pool until dinnertime.

Later that evening, they went down to the beach to watch a movie like Kurt and Sebastian had before.

* * *

Sunday morning, they were all up and dressed for the beach at 6:15. Jillian fixed Marley's hair again while Kurt and Sebastian made breakfast for everyone. They ate and headed down to the beach to watch the sunrise. They took a walk along the beach and collected more shells because Marley decided that she wanted to make a frame of shells around the mirror she had in her room.

On their way back to the house, they stopped at the smoothie place. Once they were back at the house, they showered quickly and changed. Kurt and Sebastian had enjoyed sailing on the _Black Raven_ so much that they had gotten tickets for the four of them, which is where they headed as soon as everyone was ready. They kept their destination a secret until they couldn't anymore.

"NO way!" Marley exclaimed. "An old-fashioned pirate ship?"

"We get to go on board, right?" Jillian asked excitedly.

"Not just on board," Sebastian said. "We're going out sailing on it."

"This is a dream," Marley said. "I'm in my bed and I'm dreaming because there is no way that I'm getting to go sailing on a pirate ship like this. I didn't even know there were still ships like this besides ones for movies."

"It's real," Kurt assured her. "Come on. Let's go get on board."

* * *

They spent the rest of the day Sunday exploring Castillo de San Marcos, Fort Matanzas, and the Lightner Museum.

Monday they visited the old city area of St. Augustine. They took one last trip to the beach after dinnertime on Monday. They stayed as long as they could before they had to get back to the house for Jillian and Marley to take a cab to the airport.

* * *

"You're going to miss them," Sebastian said as they headed back inside after the cab pulled away. "Marley's your new best gal pal or whatever, since girl friend sounds too weird."

"You're right. I will miss them. And she is my new best friend that's a girl. I like Dani. And Santana is being remarkably human these days, but Marley and I just hit it off back in the spring. We're alike in a lot of ways. She struggles with a lot of the same issues that I did. Growing up with a single, hardworking parent. Being teased. She was bullied at the school she went to before McKinley. And being viciously cheated on was an instant bond of pain. But since then, we've just gotten to be better friends over time. She writes music too." He kissed Sebastian. "You're my best friend though. You know things about me that no one else knows."

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt. "You're mine too. And you definitely know more about me than anyone else. How about you go do whatever food prep needs done for the next couple of days and I'll go get the hot tub ready?"

"Mmm. Sounds cozy. I'll just keep working on stuff until you come get me."

Sebastian squeezed a bit before he let Kurt go. While he was setting everything up, Jillian called to let him know that they made it to the airport.

* * *

Sebastian came out to get Kurt wearing just a towel around his waist, which caught Kurt's attention right away.

He winked at Sebastian. "Just a minute. Let me put this stuff back in the fridge."

"I've already showered. I'm going to go get in the hot tub and wait for you." He swished his butt as he walked away slowly.

Kurt put everything away quickly. He grabbed his shampoo and body wash from their bathroom and headed back to the master suite. He left his clothes on the floor outside the bathroom. He showered quickly. When he turned to step out, Sebastian was opening the shower door and got in with him.

"I figured we wouldn't last five minutes in the hot tub with how incredibly worked up I am already. I thought we could take the edge off in here first." He kissed Kurt and pinned him to the wall. He kissed down his neck and ran his hands down Kurt's arms. "Getting everything ready just made me think about you the whole time."

"Mmm. That feels so good."

'You feel so good."

Before long they were rinsing off. They didn't bother to dry off and moved straight to the hot tub. Kurt saw that Sebastian had put flameless candles along the area. He stepped back quickly and turned the light off before he got in the hot tub.

"It's very romantic with the candles. It's a sweet touch. I appreciate the effort you put into making things romantic. It took me a while to realize that you're a romantic at heart too, but once I got to know you better I could see it. I don't think you knew though."

"I didn't. I bought into the nonsense that guys like to fuck and girls like to connect and make love. Fucking is its own reward and maybe we'll do that some of the time, but that's not what I want tonight."

"Tonight?"

"If you're at that point, yes. I packed the padded envelope of stuff you ordered."

"Oh?"

"Oh? Is that a good 'oh' or an 'oh' that means 'no'."

"It was just an unexpected 'oh'. Not good or bad." He scooted closer. "I'm ready if you are. I ordered that stuff because I wanted us to talk about it and be prepared. And we did talk about it."

"I didn't want to rush because I wanted to experience everything with you. It's all been so amazing. And I've loved getting to know every last inch of you. Like how it drives you crazy when I lick behind your knee. And how you let me play with your hair and don't let anyone else get within six inches of it."

Kurt sighed. "It feels good when you do it. So good." Kurt reached over and turned the jets on in the tub and leaned back in the seat near Sebastian. He extended his legs out and put one over the top of Sebastian's and began to play footsie with him. He also reached out and took Sebastian's hand and interlaced their fingers. He closed his eyes and relaxed back. He began to hum the most recent song he had written for Sebastian. He pulled Sebastian's hand towards him and massaged it with both of his hand while he hummed.

"That one's new."

"Mmm hmm. It's in the process of being ready for me to sing it for you. You know what I've realized since I wrote that first song for you?"

"What's that?"

"That I don't have to see what you see. I just have to trust and believe you. And I do."

Even though Kurt had said yes, that statement was Sebastian's real answer. He felt no need to ask again.

* * *

They dried off, turned off the candles, and headed back to their own room, taking their clothes with them. Kurt folded the covers back neatly. Sebastian tilted the blinds on the window upwards letting in the moonlight, just enough that they could see each other. He lay down in the center of the bed on his back, putting the supplies they needed under the edge of the pillow to his right.

Kurt crawled across the bed and sat down, straddling Sebastian's thighs. He leaned forward and held his weight on his hands and knees. He kissed Sebastian and returned to his seated position.

"You're gorgeous." He ran his hands along Sebastian's chest.

Sebastian put his hands on Kurt's thighs since that was the only part of him he could reach. "And you're beautiful. Would you sing me the song?"

"Right now?"

"Mmm hmm."

"If you want me to."

"I do."

_You tell me I'm complicated.  
And that might be an understatement.  
Anything else?  
You tell me that I'm stuck in my ways.  
OCD, but I try to hide it.  
Anything else?_

_You tell me that I overthink.  
'Til I ruin a good thing.  
Anything else?  
You tell me that you'd rather not fight,  
That we'll spend the night making it right.  
You won't turn to someone else._

_You really, really know me.  
The future and the old me.  
All of the mazes and the madness in my mind.  
You really, really love me.  
You know me, and you love me.  
And it's the kind of thing I always hoped I'd find._

_Always thought I was hard to love,  
'Til you made it seem so easy, seem so easy.  
Always thought I was hard to love,  
'Til you made it seem so easy, seem so easy._

_I never liked my laugh.  
You tell me it's your favorite thing.  
Anything else?  
The freckles I cover up all the time,  
You kiss 'em 'til I change my mind  
About everything else._

_All I know is you heal me when I'm broken,  
Heal me when I'm broken.  
All I know is you saved me and you know it,  
Saved me and you know it._

_Always thought I was hard to love,  
'Til you made it seem so easy, seem so easy.  
Always thought I was hard to love,  
'Til you made it seem so easy, seem so easy._

_Touch me 'til I find myself in a feeling.  
Tell me with your hands that you're never leaving.  
Always thought I was hard to love,  
'Til you made it seem so easy, so easy._

When he finished, he said, "It will sound better with the girls singing back up and with the band."

"It was perfect just like that. Really. You aren't hard to love. Not at all." He pushed up onto his elbows and sat up so he could kiss Kurt. "I do love your laugh. I love all of you." He wrapped his arms around Kurt and lay back, pulling Kurt on top of him and they kissed until they had to stop to breathe.

Sebastian slipped his arm under the pillow and pushed the supplies out where Kurt could see them. He nodded slightly and turned back. He kissed along Sebastian's jaw towards his ear and down his neck. "I love you."

"I love you too." Sebastian ran his fingers through Kurt's hair.

* * *

When Kurt came back from the bathroom after cleaning them up, he lay down behind Sebastian, who he thought had fallen asleep, but as soon as he scooted towards him, Sebastian scooted back into his chest. Kurt slipped his arm under the pillow and his other arm under Sebastian's and slipped his fingers into Sebastian's joining their hands over his heart. "Everything okay?" He softly kissed along the back of Sebastian's neck and shoulders.

"Everything's great. So amazing." He scooted back again, even thought there wasn't any space between them. "How about you?"

"I agree with you on the amazingness. I love you so much, sweetie. So much."

"Me too, babe. I love you so much. Will you sing?"

"Something in particular?"

"Mmm mmm. I just want to fall asleep with you holding me and singing to me."

_Wherever you go,  
Wherever you may wander in your life.  
Surely you know,  
I always want to be there.  
Holding your hand,  
And standing by to catch you if you fall.  
Seeing you through,  
In everything you do._

_Let me be there in your morning.  
Let me be there in your night.  
Let me change whatever's wrong,  
And make it right.  
Let me take you through that wonderland  
That only two can share.  
All I ask you is let me be there._

_Watching you grow,  
And going through the changes in your life,  
That's how I know,  
I always want to be there.  
Whenever you feel you need a friend to lean on,  
Here I am.  
Whenever you call, you know I'll be there._

Kurt paused long enough to hear Sebastian breathing rhythmically. He smiled and sang the last chorus very quietly.

_Let me be there in your morning.  
Let me be there in your night.  
Let me change whatever's wrong,  
And make it right.  
Let me take you through that wonderland  
That only two can share.  
All I ask you is let me be there._

He lay still listening to Sebastian breathe. _I'm never letting you go._ He felt sure that Sebastian felt the same way. He smiled and let the warmth and closeness pull him under, falling asleep contentedly holding the man he loved in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kurt's "original song" is "Easy" by Camila Cabello. I changed the lyrics to fit Kurt better.  
> The second song is "Let Me Be There" by Olivia Newton John.


	45. Chapter 45

During the night, they had shifted positions and Kurt woke up with Sebastian wrapped all around him with his head on Kurt’s chest. He held still and let him sleep.  _ “You’re not hard to love. Not at all. I love all of you.”  _ played on repeat in his thoughts for a couple of minutes. He resisted the urge to run his fingers through Sebastian’s hair, despite how much he wanted to do it. 

He thought back to the night before. About how different the whole experience was. Kissing and being able to look Sebastian in the eyes the whole time made it feel so much more intimate, so much more what he had hoped it would be.  _ Sebastian Beaumont Smythe, what have you done to me?  _ He smiled, looking down at himself being used as a body pillow by his gorgeous boyfriend.  _ How did I fall so hard for you?  _ After everything he had been through, he had what he wanted in a relationship with the person he would have been least likely to predict back in his senior year. 

Sebastian stretched a bit and scooted impossibly closer. “I can feel you thinking.”

Kurt chuckled. “I was trying to be still and quiet so you could sleep.”

“You were thinking too loud for me to sleep,” he teased. 

Now that Kurt didn’t have to restrain himself, he placed several soft kisses along the top of Sebastian’s head and he ran his fingers down Sebastian’s arm that was across his chest and shoulder, causing Sebastian to squirm just a bit.

“Mmm. I love it when you touch me. How about I roll on my back and you can touch me everywhere?”

“How about we empty our bladders, fill our stomachs a bit, and then get back in bed and I’ll touch you everywhere?”

He pushed up onto his elbow and looked at Kurt. “Perfect. I’ll go get us some orange juice. We’ll need the energy.” He winked and got out of bed and left for the kitchen without putting any clothes on.

Kurt headed into the bathroom and was back in bed, leaned back against the headboard by the time Sebastian came back. He took the glass of juice he was offered. 

Sebastian caught him staring. “See something you like?”

“I like everything I see. But most of all I love you.” He patted the space next to him in the bed.

They finished their juice in silence and put the glasses on their side tables.

“Where are the rest of–” he paused. “I don’t want to presume, but–” he blushed. “It seemed like what you were implying.”

“They’re in the drawer in your side table. Will you come sit on my lap first though?”

Kurt moved and Sebastian took his pillow and put them both in the center, upright and leaned back against them. Kurt straddled his thighs and sat down.

Sebastian put his hands on Kurt’s biceps and caressed Kurt’s arms as he slid his hands down to Kurt’s. He interlaced their fingers. “I want to apologize.”

Kurt’s face showed total confusion. He couldn’t think of a single thing that Sebastian had done to upset him.

“I love your song, but it made me realize something. Would you consider editing it just a bit?”

“In what way?”

“I didn’t realize that I had teased you enough about being organized that you thought I think it’s something bad about you. I don’t think you have OCD at all. If anything it was more of a ‘pot calling the kettle black’ thing. When I teased you, it fit me as much as it fit you. I do think you’re complicated, but I don’t dislike that about you in anyway. And you do sometimes over-think things when you can’t figure out motives, but you do it less and less now that we’ve been together for longer. I think the last time with me was with the quilting rack and embroidery hoop stand. Since that night, you’ve asked rather than jump to conclusions. I think you struggle with anxiety in a way that I never have, but I don’t dislike that, and I think that’s what causes you to over-think how to control a situation to keep from upsetting someone. You try to plan for every potential outcome so that you’re not faced with having to make a spur-of-the-moment decision or be faced with someone reacting in a way that you weren’t prepared to deal with. You’ve been through a lot in a short period of time, and a lot of other things went on for a long period of time. I may be seeing things that I want to see, but it seems like you’re less anxious since we’ve been together – more able to relax and enjoy yourself.”

“That’s true. As I realized that I could trust you, I let my walls down, and I don’t feel tense around you. Being around you makes me feel a lot more calm. You’re not imagining things. I’m not sure what to change that line to, but I’ll think about it. If you come up with suggestions, you can let me know.” He didn’t let go of Sebastian’s hands, but he pulled them up and wrapped them behind Sebastian’s neck, and began kissing Sebastian’s neck. “You do still want this, right?” he asked quietly as he licked along the edge of Sebastian’s ear. He sat back up to look Sebastian in the eyes.

“Definitely. I’m sure it will glorious. I love your hands all over me.”

“And–?” He looked towards the drawer in the nightstand.

“Yes.”

“You’re not too sore?”

“Not at all. Even skipping the fact that I love you and you love me and how that made it so very different, you are a far better lover. No comparison.”

Kurt blushed.

Sebastian reached up put his hand behind Kurt’s neck and ran his thumb along Kurt’s jaw, near his ear. “You’re blushing.”

He looked down, breaking their eye contact. He bit his lower lip. “I was afraid I’d be a big disappointment. I was afraid–”

“All my posturing back when was still floating around in our mind?”

“Not really. You told me that wasn’t real. I just love you so much and I love living with you and we just have so much fun together. Honestly, being with you is exactly what I’ve always wanted in a relationship. I love the give and take and the teasing. I was afraid I’d be a disappointment and everything would get really awkward and you wouldn’t want me anymore.”

“Kurt, look at me.” He tipped Kurt’s chin up. “Even if it had lasted two minutes and then you gave me a hand job afterwards, I wouldn’t have broken up with you. I love you, babe. It might have been awkward for a few times until we got it right, but we would have figured it out. It kind of hurts that you think I’m that shallow.”

“I don’t. I really don’t. This all falls on me. The part of me that still believes that I’ll never be good enough isn’t gone. It’s been there for so long, it’s going to take some time. Please.”

“Please what, babe?”

“Please believe me.”

“I do. Will you believe me?”

Kurt swallowed and breathed in and let it out. He nodded. “I do believe you.”

“Good. Because I won the jackpot with you.”

“Now, you’re just being silly.”

“Kurt,” Sebastian said, completely serious. “Look at me again, please.” He waited. “I mean that. Please, don’t think I’m joking with this. We do have a lot of fun together teasing and horsing around, but I’m serious about this. Being with you is what I had always hoped for in a relationship too. I didn’t think I’d find it, honestly. But you and me, we’re good. Even if we mess up, we can fix it. There’s this expression my mom learned from some old carpenter way back. He told her if the bones are good, the house is worth renovating. We’re good, me and you together. We built our relationship to be strong. No lies, no running away, no hiding things.”

Kurt nodded. “That’s true.” He leaned down and kissed Sebastian. “I just want to make you feel amazing.”

“Last night was amazing. I loved being able to see your face. Maybe at some point in the future we can switch positions.”

“Maybe.” Kurt didn’t sound convinced.

“I don’t mean switch that way. I mean–”

“OH! Oh… If you want, we could try. We can try anything. Like you said a few minutes ago, if we don’t like it or it doesn’t work, we’ll still be okay.”

Sebastian tugged him forward and kissed him. “Yes. So, for now, how about we get back to where you’re going to pet me and drive me crazy because it tickles so much, but I love it too much to want it to stop?”

“I can do that.” He leaned forward and kissed Sebastian. “Do you want to stay propped up like this or scoot down?”

“I kind of like this. The view is great.”

Kurt blushed again.

* * *

They spent the next four days exploring more of St. Augustine and more of each other. They woke up Saturday morning around sunrise. Sebastian was using Kurt as a body pillow again. He scooted over even more and reached into the nightstand drawer.

“There’s only one left.” Sebastian pulled it out.

“Well, we won’t need any with our parents here. You’re not exactly quiet.” He kissed the top of Sebastian’s head and ran his fingers through his hair. 

Sebastian tipped his head up and propped his chin on Kurt’s chest. “Not sorry at all. It feels way too good to be quiet.”

Kurt blushed. 

“Still blushing?”

“I might always blush.”

“I can live with that.” 

“Did you like any of them more than the others?”

“Nope. I think it’s more of a decision for you to make since you’re the one wearing them. You should pick which ones fit the best. I’m good with whatever you pick. Although, I do like this the best.” He picked up one of the small bottles and kept hold of it.

“Okay. That one is it, then. When we get up, I’ll order more so it will arrive not long after we get home.”

“Works for me. So, our parents will be here in three hours. Plans?”

“Well, we already discussed the first thing. Then I think we’ll need to open the windows while it’s not a million degrees out just yet. Do a couple of loads of laundry, remake the bed, and make brunch. Oh, and shower. But we can just put our swim trunks on because we’re going to beach after we eat.”

“Good plan. I like the first part and the shower part the best, but I’ll help with the other things too,” he teased.

“Oh, and we didn’t put the twin beds in the other room together yet.”

“Well, we better get on with this then, shouldn’t we?” He kissed Kurt and flipped them so that Kurt was on top.

“Eager are we?”

“Always.”

* * *

The timer went off on the oven. Kurt scurried over and turned the timer and the oven off, leaving the quiches inside to keep them warm. He turned to get plates and set the table, and ended up being blocked by Sebastian who pulled him into a kiss, causing him to laugh. 

“I love you.” 

Kurt tickled him in an attempt to get loose, but he was thwarted by Sebastian’s quick moves and kisses on his neck.

“I love you too. Please help me set the table for our parents first meal together.”

Sebastian could hear the slight distress in Kurt’s voice and stopped impeding his task. He grabbed silverware instead and took it to the table. He arranged it on the placemats and Kurt put the plates in the center. Sebastian pulled six napkins out of the napkin holder and folded them diagonally and put them under the knife and spoon at each place. Kurt returned with six glasses. Sebastian put two heat pads on the table. Kurt looked around the kitchen and wiped the counters down one last time.

“Orange juice, coffee, ice water, milk.” He carried the small tray of mini muffins he had made earlier and sat them in the center of the table. “I think we’re set.”

Sebastian pulled him into his arms and began to dance around the living room to music only he could hear. 

“What are you doing?” Kurt asked.

“Having fun with you. You’re tense. I just wanted to get you to relax a bit.” He kissed him just as someone put the key into the deadbolt to unlock the door.

Kurt nearly jumped back, but Sebastian kept a hold on him. 

“My parents have seen us kiss.”

“Your parents really cool. My dad, not so much. You spent time with him. He’s still struggling with me being an adult.”

Sebastian took Kurt’s hand and led him to the dining room before they got the door open. “My parents are pretty hands on with each other. Your parents are just going to have to deal with it. We’re adults. We have nothing to hide. I’m not going to make out with you while people are watching, but acting like we have to hide who we are around your parents just feeds that feeling of him seeing you as a child. I’ll respect your wishes because I love you, but please just think about it.” 

He left the dining room and Kurt followed him.

“Hey, guys,” Nina said cheerfully. “It smells great in here.”

“Brunch is ready as soon as you all are,” Sebastian said.

“Well, you two are on the ball. We’ll just show Burt and Carole to their room and we’ll wash up and come right out.”

* * *

They had all served themselves and began talk after they had mostly finished eating.

“I’m already in love with it here and I’ve only seen what I saw on the ride here from the airport. I’m so excited to go to the beach.”

“We love it here too,” Kurt said. “There’s so much to see and do.”

“How do you get around without a car,” she asked.

Sebastian answered her. “The house came with a shed and four bikes. We ride around a lot. When wherever we want to go is too far to ride the bikes, we take the bus. The buses have bike racks on the front, so we just wait at the stop, put the bikes on, go wherever we’re going, and take the bikes back off when we’re done. If we don’t want to ride them after we get to wherever we’re going, we just leave them locked up at one of the bike racks near the bus stop.”

“That’s really handy,” Burt said. “This was really good.”

Kurt smiled.

“I like the cheese muffins,” Art said. “I can’t say that I’ve ever had anything like them before. We should definitely get the recipe.”

Nina chuckled. “Sure, babe. You can make them for me to snack on at work.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’ll make them for  _ us _ to snack on at work. I get to eat half of them if I make them.”

“Fair enough,” she said. “They really are delicious.” She winked at Kurt.

Carole asked, “So how did you two meet?”

“He knocked me off my feet, for real.” She laughed. “We both went to college in New York and we were skating with our own groups of friends at Rockefeller Center at the beginning of December not long after they had decorated everything for Christmas. It was my first year in the US and I wanted to do the fun touristy things in New York. He was out horsing around with the guys in his fraternity.”

Art continued the story. “I was attempting to show off because I was a better skater than my frat brothers. So, I was skating backwards facing them. And Nina stopped when she dropped one of her gloves and I collided right into her. Whomp! We both went down. I felt so bad. She shrugged it off, getting up on her own and basically ignoring my apology and skating off.”

“But he caught up and skated along beside me and was persistently annoying, but funny. I eventually accepted his offer of the ‘best cup of hot chocolate in all of New York City’ as his apology. I figured the worst thing that could happen is that I would spend ten minutes with him, drink a cup of mediocre hot chocolate, and never have to see him again.”

“And…” Art teased.

Her eyes sparkled as she smiled. “And it was a fabulous cup of hot chocolate and we’ve been together for nearly 31 years. Our 25th Anniversary was last May. What about you two?”

“Kurt picked me out,” Carole teased.

Nina turned and looked at Kurt curiously.

“It’s true. We were at parent night at school, in the room with refreshments, and I introduced them.”

Burt said, “And we hit it off right away. That was in like January or February. We got married the next November. Kurt planned our wedding.”

Carole added. “It will be three years in November. So, you two never dated anyone else?”

“Oh, sure. I did. Not seriously though. Art and I started off dating casually. Where I grew up, pairing off right away wasn’t really the way things went. We went out with our friends, but brought each other as dates. You know art events, movies, museums, concerts, shows, and things. Other guys asked me out and I went out with several of them. The same way – I’d invite them to do something with my friends. But after a few months, I just realized that every time I invited anyone besides Art that I never had as much fun. Like Burt said, Art and I just hit it off. I was young though, and I thought I shouldn’t just settle for the first guy that I went out with. By Valentine’s Day, I had quit inviting any other guys out with my friends and my American friends explained to me that I was supposed to ask him to be my boyfriend if I wanted him to date only me, so I did.” She winked at Art.

“She’s the only girl I ever dated seriously. I went to Dalton, like Sebastian. I went to the formals and whatnot. Usually one of the girls from Crawford Country Day would ask me. I wasn’t looking to date seriously then anyway. Nina was just so different. I wasn’t looking for love, as they say.”

“You just fell into it,” Carole said laughing.

“You got it.” Art chuckled.

“Does anyone want anymore?” Kurt asked.

Everyone shook their heads no.

“Alright, then. We’ll just pack up what’s left. You guys can all get ready for the beach. It won’t take us long. We’re already dressed and our stuff is packed.”

Once they were the only two in the kitchen, Kurt said, “Your parents have the best meet cute.”

“They do.” He wrapped his arms around Kurt. 

“They’ve been together a long time. And they still really love each other.”

“Yep. They’re the real deal.” He tipped Kurt’s chin up and kissed him gently. “Just because we don’t have the perfect meet cute that they do, does not mean that we’re not the real deal. We just met the first time when we were too young. Just like my dad talked about going to dances with girls he had no intention of dating seriously, I wasn’t ready to date seriously when we first met. I wasn’t mature enough. I’ve told you this. That doesn’t make us any less well-suited for each other now.”

Kurt nodded. “You’re right.” He kissed Sebastian softly. 

Nina came out first. “Are you two love birds ready?”

“Yeah. Our bag’s over there, right inside the study door, so you wouldn’t fall over it when you came in.”

A few minutes later, the other three were out and ready to go as well. They made one stop at the same surf shop for Burt and Carole to pick out water socks.

* * *

While their parents got to know each other, Kurt and Sebastian joined in a game of beach volleyball. After a few games, they went out into the water and splashed around for a while to cool off from playing so hard.

They walked along the surf hand in hand down to the area where they always seemed to find the nicest shells. After Kurt thought about Marley’s idea for her mirror, he decided that he wanted to add a bit of tropical flair to their bathroom. They two of them looked for tiny shells to use to decorate their soap dispenser and small shells for their shower hooks. He also decided he wanted to buy a few hand towels with shell patterns on them whenever they took Carole out shopping. 

As they came back from their seashell hunt, Kurt looked at his dad in the distance. He stepped closer to Sebastian and put his arm around Sebastian’s waist. As soon as Kurt wrapped his arm around Sebastian, he responded by doing the same thing. 

“You were right earlier. It’s just one of my knee-jerk reactions still. You know, to be gay in every way, except physically. It’s my eunuch gay persona.”

Sebastian chortled. “Yeah, that’s SO not true.” He pulled Kurt closer to him and kissed him on the temple.

Kurt blushed. “But it was this in-between place where I could express my identity through my clothing or my choice of hobbies or interests, but I couldn’t express any actual sexuality. I told you about when I came out to him.”

“Yeah.”

“It was this huge relief that he wasn’t going to reject me and that he still loved me, but it was very confusing because he wasn’t comfortable with it, even after having known for 13 years. In 13 years, he could have done a lot of research and been ready. But it was like he knew, but he was hoping he was wrong and that he’d never actually have to face the truth. So, he’s been accepting without being altogether supportive. He says he’ll fight for me to have the right to love whoever I want, but then he doesn’t really want to see that love.”

“We haven’t seen him since he said he was going to go to counseling with Carole. He said he was going to work on himself. He said he knew he had fallen into a pattern that he had never really worked to break, but he said he was going to. Let’s assume that he did what he said he would do. You and I will act like we normally do. If he’s uncomfortable about it, then it’s on him and he’ll be forced to self-reflect about why he seems to be the only one upset or bothered by it. He’ll see that my parents are physically affectionate with each other. I saw them hug and kiss growing up. It was just normal. I saw them play fight over the last donut. He’d pick her up around the waist from behind just as she was going to take it, and he’d spin her around away from it. She’d distract him somehow and get loose. And pick it up and feed him half of it and eat the other half herself.”

Kurt smiled. “You’re very persuasive. Nearly as persuasive as you are gorgeous. Nearly,” Kurt teased. He stopped walking, causing Sebastian to nearly stumble. When he turned back, Kurt stepped forward and pecked him on the lips. 

Sebastian was surprised, but smiled happily and resumed walking alongside Kurt. They went and sat down on the towel they’d laid out next to where their parents were sitting. Kurt sat at the front of the towel. Sebastian sat behind him. He grabbed Kurt’s sunscreen and carefully applied it to Kurt’s back and shoulders while Kurt reapplied it to his chest. After Kurt let it soak in for a few minutes, he scooted back against Sebastian’s chest and relaxed back, letting Sebastian wrap his arms around him. Sebastian propped his chin on Kurt’s shoulder.

Sebastian spoke quietly in Kurt’s ear. “Sometimes, I think about selling the place in New York and buying a place like the house my parents bought here. We could get jobs and just live a simple life.”

“When we get close to finishing school, we can figure out where we want to live. We have time to figure it out.” Kurt twisted a bit and turned his head and kissed Sebastian. 

“We do.”


	46. Chapter 46

When they got back to the house, everyone showered and ate the tuna salad, chicken salad, and vegetable tray that Kurt and Sebastian had made the day before. They headed out to the pirate museum because Kurt thought it would interest Burt the most.

Kurt watched everyone more than he looked at the exhibits. They started out together, but Burt wandered off and started looking another area by himself. Kurt watched Carole join him, but his dad moved away before she had finished looking. He saw her notice him and she moved on to where he was, but he still moved on before she was ready again. Kurt saw Art see Burt do this. He and Nina were holding hands just like Kurt and Sebastian were. And despite Kurt and Art watching Burt, they were still participating in the discussion about the pieces in the exhibit they were looking at.

Kurt squeezed Sebastian's hand and let go. He went to where Burt was standing, mostly staring. "Are you not interested in seeing this stuff?"

Burt looked up. "What? No. This place is fine."

"Look." He turned his head towards Nina, Art, and Sebastian. "See. They're together. I was with them. You wandered away." He lowered his voice. "Every time Carole gets near you, you move away again in a couple of minutes. You're not interacting with her at all. Is this what you do when you go out with her? You just let her wander around and look on her own? Like you did when you used to take me to the mall? You'd just follow me into each store to make sure no one kidnapped me or whatever, but you never looked at anything I looked at."

"I guess."

"The four of us have been here before. Sebastian and I have been her twice. I picked this place because I thought you'd enjoy it, but we might as well be at the mall."

"No. I like looking at the stuff. It's interesting, not like the mall."

"Look at Art and Nina. They're holding hands. I was holding hands with Sebastian until I came over here. If you don't want to look with the four of us, at least interact with Carole. She loves you, Dad. Don't shut her out. I'll quit bossing you around, but I hate seeing Carole looking sad and alone when you're literally in the same room with her." He walked back across to where Sebastian was and was greeted with a smile. He wrapped his arm around Sebastian's waist and Sebastian followed suit.

Kurt watched Burt look at Carole and make his way back over to where she was looking. He wrapped his arm around her waist. Kurt saw Carole's face brighten instantly and she stepped into his embrace and leaned into him. After they finished looking at the display, Burt led them back over to the group. He caught Kurt's eye and just barely nodded.

"This place is really cool."

Carole agreed. "It really is. I'm excited to see that hotel we're going to go to after this too. I looked through a website about this area. There are so many cool things to see and do."

Nina said, "That's the main reason I picked this area to buy a house. The housing market here isn't that different from Columbus, so it's so much more reasonable than buying a lot of places and it's not a long flight. We had a place in New York City, but with Sebastian living there now, we figured we'd sell it and buy someplace that everyone could enjoy. Art's cousin, sister, brother-in-law, and our nieces came with us the last time. We'll have Ben, Laura, and their two boys down soon too. Maybe fall break. The house isn't huge, but it's not cramped with a lot of people because of the U-shaped layout. People can be in different rooms and feel like they have privacy, plus there are so many things to go out and do, people don't have to just be cooped up inside. You two are family now too. I know Burt has a few days here and there with congressional recesses. Please feel free to look at the website where I listed it and mark of dates you'd like to come down. Once I see it's you that's requesting the days, I'll just mark them as unavailable. I'll make you two copies of the keys when we leave here."

"Thank you. That's really kind of you to offer," Carole said.

She turned back to look at a display of gold jewelry. "I like that necklace." She pointed at one with emeralds inlaid in gold. "I'd like one about one-tenth the size it is though. Everything about it is beautiful, but it just so big. It must have been worn with one of those dresses with the deep scoop necks or a strapless dress."

Kurt said, "I bet you're right. Something that opulent would only look right as the focal point. I bet the woman wearing it also wore her hair up, maybe with a few curled tendrils hanging down artistically."

"That hairpin is beautiful," Nina said. "It would be fun to go to one of those old-fashioned balls just once."

"I'm going to go to one, someday, somehow," Kurt said with complete confidence.

Sebastian squeezed his hand.

* * *

Carole looked up as they entered the atrium of the former Ponce de León hotel. "This is the most amazing place. I've seen videos of places with domed ceilings and arches, but seeing it in person is so different. It's beautiful."

"I love it in here," Nina said. "I could just sit in here for hours and stare at the intricacy of everything. We've become so function oriented in so many ways that no one builds these types of places anymore. Rectangular rooms with rectangular furniture to fit most is efficient, as was as fairly boring."

"This gives me an idea," Sebastian said, as they walked around the atrium. "You said that Sam is an artist."

"Yeah."

"We have that whole wall in the kitchen with nothing on it. Maybe we could paint a mural on it. It's about 10 feet long. It's big enough to paint something really cool and it wouldn't get potentially knocked off like paintings hanging there would, which I'd thought about before and decided against."

"We can ask him."

"I can't draw at all, but I bet we can find some Art Deco designs that would give us inspiration. We could paint it together and he could to his artistic touches to make it look better than us just painting it like a coloring book page."

"Sounds fun. I'm sure he would. This is your olive branch to him, isn't it?"

"In a way. I know he probably just went along with Blaine, but still."

"I get it. I'm glad you're willing to give him a chance."

"We all screwed up something in high school, right?"

"Yeah. I'm going to go talk to Carole for a few minutes." He squeezed Sebastian's hand before walking away. He walked around to the other side of the atrium where she had wandered. "Is everything okay?"

She opened her arms to hug him. "No, honey. Every day is a struggle, but it's really beautiful here. And Sebastian's parents seem to be genuinely kind people." She let him go.

"They are. I've never felt more accepted by a group of people than I do with the two of them and Art's sister Victoria and her husband Antony and their daughters. They just acted like I had always been part of the family. No hesitation whatsoever. I've never had that, even with my own family."

"You do know that I love you, don't you?"

"Yes. And I love you too. You've been a great friend. I'm trying to figure out how to get to the point where Dad and I can be friends too. I haven't been able to get past that hump of wanting him to really like what makes me 'me'. I've been thinking about it. It's not just that I'm gay. If I were straight, the only thing that would change would be that we'd both like women. We just don't have much in the way of common interests. I'm thinking that I really need to just grow up and realize that I need to move on from wanting him to learn to like doing anything I like to finding mutually enjoyable activities. We spend very little time together now and he's a very busy man. We played Poker that day he came to New York. We had fun doing that. I think rather than dragging Dad out to do anymore sightseeing, I need to talk to him. I think his idea of a vacation and mine are probably not at all alike. I planned two and a half days of fun things to do. I don't think he'll enjoy that now that I really think about it. I know you will though, so it's hard to know what to do. I just kept thinking that eventually something would click, that I'd find something that would appeal to all of us to visit while we're all here, but I think that's probably not the case. I don't even know what the two of you have in common, which is pretty lame on my part."

"I don't think it's lame, honey. I think that we can eventually all find things that we like to do together. Your dad is going through a lot. We all are. And rather than sharing, he's closing himself off. You come by it honestly." She smiled sadly at him. "There's so much rage and sadness inside that we're struggling to show any emotion for fear of it all slipping out uncontrolled. We're seeing someone. We are learning to work through things. I'm just going to tell you this because I don't think Burt knows how to explain it to you."

"What?"

"You said that he doesn't like what makes you 'you'. That's not true. Not at all. He means every word when he says he wants you to be you and to live your life in a way that makes you enjoy it. We both want that for you. What he struggles with is how he's contributed to your problems, both directly and indirectly. And that's not your issue to deal with. You can't just walk over there and tell him that you forgive him because he hasn't forgiven himself. And your track record with attempting to make his life easier will only make him think that you're offering forgiveness to make his life easier. So, I think for now, you're just going to have to give it a little time. The therapist is helping him work through things. At some point in the future, I think he'll go to New York and you two can have a long talk and hash things out and he'll be in a place where he can accept your forgiveness, whether you think he needs to apologize or not."

"Okay." Kurt took a deep breath and let it out. "I miss you." He wrapped his arms around her again. "Maybe you and Nina can get to know each other and you could come to New York with her sometime. I know you like to sight-see and Dad's indifferent to it, but she'd be a great tour guide. And I think if you give her a chance, you could be friends."

"You really love him, don't you?"

"Yeah. I really do."

"I'm really happy for you. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you."

"If you come on a Monday, you can hear my band."

"You have a band?"

"I do. We haven't named ourselves yet, but we do covers and original music on Mondays at this place that has an open mic."

"Who's in it?"

"Me, Sebastian, Santana, her girlfriend Dani, Elliott, and Chandler. And before you ask, yes, it's the same Chandler I met in Lima at Between the Sheets senior year. He got into NYU and we ran into him at the open mic place. He's our drummer."

"So, six of you."

"Yep."

"Why only on Mondays?"

"Santana is Rachel's understudy. She has to be at the theater for all of the shows. So, we rehearse on Sunday evening after she leaves the matinee, and we play on Mondays because that's the only other evening she's available."

"And you two are friends now?"

"We are. She's not so angry now. And on top of that, she wants to do something besides be a bitch now. She's still herself, but a lot of the meanness was from being so angry, a lot like Dave I think. She just used words rather than physical bullying, at least usually. She did get in a few fights."

The two of them made it back around to where the others were standing. They went into the dining area, which had over 70 amazing Tiffany windows.

Sebastian stepped closer to Kurt and took his hand again. While the six of them walked around the room, Sebastian began to rattle off a 5-minute rundown of the history of the hotel, which had been turned into a college back in the late '60s.

After they finished looking around, they took a scenic drive on the way back to the house. Kurt revised his plan on the drive.

Nina, Carole, Sebastian, and Kurt dropped Art and Burt off and kept the car to go to Uptown Saturday Night, which had been Kurt's original plan for all of them. The four of them enjoyed their evening together looking through the shops and exhibits, trying different food stands, and listening to the different music groups throughout the evening.

* * *

When they got home, they changed and joined Art and Burt out in the lanai for an evening swim.

Carole and Nina got in the pool in the shallow end near where Burt and Art were sitting. Kurt and Sebastian walked down to the deep end and slipped in. After he got wet, Kurt got back out and grabbed the lounge raft and put it along the edge and held it for Sebastian to get in. Once Sebastian was in place, Kurt got on and they lay facing each other and floated along the far edge of the deep end. Kurt could just make out what he other four were saying. He took Sebastian's hands and held them between them, playing with his fingers and tracing patterns on them.

Burt asked, "Did you have a good time?"

"We did. There was so much to see. Lots of art and music and food."

"Did you find anything that made its way home with you?"

"You'll see tomorrow." She winked at him.

"What about you, sweetie?" Art asked.

"Well, I didn't bring a dress and Carole and I decided we'd like to go out to dinner Monday night and go dancing afterwards, so I bought a dress that I really like. I'll leave it here so I'll have one whenever I need one. I'm going to leave the casual summer clothes I brought with me here as well. That way I can fly down without really having to pack. It's about to turn fall and I don't wear them in Ohio all that much anyway."

Burt looked down at the other end of the pool. "Are they always so touchy-feely?"

"Yep," Nina said as she glanced down to the end of the pool. "They're adorable. Sebastian's completely smitten. When we were here after graduation, before Sebastian moved in, I knew he was already head over heels for Kurt. This genuine smile would appear on his face every time he got a text from Kurt."

Kurt winked at Sebastian, who despite rolling his eyes grinned just like he had when Kurt texted him.

Art asked, "Does it bother you somehow?"

"I'm just not used to it. I rarely saw him in a t-shirt. He was the king of layers, even wearing long-sleeved shirts in the summer a lot of the time. He never even walked around the house without a shirt on. I think the last time I saw him without a shirt on he was under six. It's been so long that I can't even remember."

"Oh," Nina said. "From the first day we came down, he and Sebastian went to the beach and swam here shirtless, so I never thought anything about it."

Carole said, "I think being with Sebastian has boosted his confidence. He's more outgoing."

"Until I saw the way he walked around early today, I never gave any though to him always wearing so many layers. It was just how he dressed. Seeing him relaxed is a new," Burt said.

"Perhaps now that he's not living in Lima, he's just coming into his own more and he doesn't feel so tense in general," Nina offered. "I think too, confidence in who we are begins to develop as we meet people who choose to be our friends rather than just hanging around with whoever we go to high school with. When I came to the US, I didn't have any friends, but the friends I made were ones that accepted and liked me, rather than people I had science or math class with. Like with Kurt's band, he's branching out and trying things and they're really good and fun to watch."

Carole asked, "You've seen them?"

"Izzie sent me videos from when she went with them last Monday."

"Kurt has a band?" Burt asked.

Art chuckled and said, "Yeah. Sebastian asked us to send his cello and double bass to New York."

Burt said, "I don't get why that's funny."

"Oh, we'll get them to him at some point. We just have to either find the right company to do it or drive them there ourselves. I'm not trusting UPS or FedEx with $60,000 in stringed instruments. And there's not a chance I'd take them on a regular commercial airplane as luggage."

Kurt eyes flashed and he looked at Sebastian, who shrugged, obviously not having known the cost of his instruments.

"I had him pick out electric versions and paid less than $1000 for them. And he can take them around town on the subway easily and if he gets them stolen, they're not that expensive to replace."

"I never considered the cost of string instruments. Although, I'm not surprised. The craftsmanship affects the sound, I'm sure."

Nina changed the subject back. "Burt, were your parents not affectionate?"

"Um, what?" he replied, the shock evident in his tone.

"Your parents. You seem to be bothered by Kurt's closeness with Sebastian in a way that never occurred to me to be. I grew up in France, which I'm not sure if you knew. I had studied English with an American tutor in high school and I came here young enough to have lost what bit of an accent I still had, so a lot of people assume that I'm American. Anyway, growing up in Paris, there was a much different atmosphere regarding PDA than you would have had living in a small town like Lima. I'm just wondering if that's why you seem to glance at the two of them so often when they're just being sweet."

"It very well could be. My parents didn't marry for love. I've never really thought about it much. They were respectful of each other and I think they loved each other, but it was an arranged marriage in the sense that their parents set them up and they dated in high school and got married as soon as they graduated. They had me a year later. She had a miscarriage a couple of years later and then had my brother Andy a couple of years after that. She had a second miscarriage after him. After that, she couldn't have any more kids. She never said why. I didn't find any of it out until not long before she died, which was a few years before Kurt was born. Her twin sister Mildred didn't cope well and turned to alcohol. I try to keep an eye on her, but she doesn't like Kurt, so it's hard. Andy looks in on her. Her husband died in Viet Nam before they had a chance to have kids."

Tears streamed down Kurt's cheeks. Sebastian slipped his hand out of Kurt's and wiped the tears with his thumb.

Art said, "Is your dad still around?"

Burt shook his head. "He died when my mom did. That's when I took over the shop." Burt turned to Nina. "Your story sounds a lot like Kurt's mom's. She grew up in France, in Paris. She came to Ohio to go to school." He chuckled. "I never could figure out why someone would want to leave Paris and study in Ohio, but she did. Lizzie was a character. Kurt is so much like her."

Kurt was unable to stop the tears from flowing. He hadn't known that. From what he had been able to piece together, he thought she had gone to Paris on an overseas study program in college.

Sebastian saw the shocked look on Kurt's face. He spoke without making a sound, "You didn't know."

"No," Kurt said silently.

Nina said, "What was her name?"

"Elizabeth Neveeyah. It looked like Neville, but I never could say it quite right according to her."

"She went by Aylee when I knew her. We didn't go to school together, but she went to the same American English tutor. We had group meetings once a month so we could practice together. We'd be assigned a topic and he'd go around and listen to us and correct our grammar and pronunciation. He said it gave us better real life conversation skills than just having practice conversations with him."

"Small world," Art said.

"I didn't know that she went to Ohio for school. The last time I saw her was over the summer before I left for New York."

"She went to the University of Cincinnati on scholarship. I don't get what you called her – Aylee?"

"E-L-I, in French says Aylee – ay-LEE-sah-bet," she pronounced slowly. "Éli for short, which Americans would have pronounced EE-lie."

Burt said, "Which is probably why she use the nickname Lizzie."

"Since Eli is a guy's name here, that would be my guess too."

"That's Kurt's middle name."

"Sebastian's middle name is my maiden name – Beaumont."

Kurt tried to scoot closer to Sebastian, but he caused the raft to tip in the process and they both fell into the pool.

They all quickly turned to see Kurt climbing out of the pool. Sebastian pushed the raft back to the edge of the pool and Kurt pulled it out rather than holding it in place again.

"I'm ready to call it a night," Kurt said quietly. He turned to grab his towel. He dried off as he walked towards the patio doors to go inside.

Sebastian climbed out and put the raft back in the small upright storage shed and closed the door. He stopped next to Burt. "We could hear the four of you. It seems to me that some of what you said were things Kurt didn't know. I'm going inside with him."

* * *

By the time Sebastian got to their room, Kurt was already turning the water on in the shower. Sebastian grabbed boxer briefs and knocked gently, while opening the door slowly.

"Hey, babe. Can I join you?"

"Of course. Always." Kurt turned the water off just long enough for Sebastian to get in and close the door. He took the sprayer down and rinsed Sebastian's hair before he handed him the sprayer and picked up his shampoo.

Sebastian kissed him when he turned back.

Kurt washed Sebastian's hair, taking his time massaging his scalp the way Sebastian liked. "Your mom knew my mom." Tears streamed down his face. He rinsed Sebastian's hair.

"Can I do yours?"

He leaned to the side a bit so that Sebastian could reach his shampoo. Once he had it, Kurt stood back upright and closed his eyes.

"If you look like your mom, she must have been beautiful."

Kurt nodded. Once Sebastian had rinsed his hair, he wrapped his arms around Sebastian and just held onto him. "I just don't get why he would tell your parents things that he's never told me."

"I don't know, but I think if you spend some time alone together, you can ask him." Sebastian ran his hands down Kurt's back.

"Would you be upset if we don't–?" Kurt grabbed a washcloth and began washing himself quickly.

"No. Kurt, look at me." Once Kurt made eye contact, he said, "I'm not with you for the sex, which is spectacular, I might add." He wiggled his eyebrows.

Kurt smiled.

"I'm with you because I want to be. I'm your boyfriend. Your lover. Your partner. Your best friend. I'm here because I want to be. I love you."

"I love you too. I'm going to get dressed in my pajamas and go talk to him or at least go tell him that I want to talk to him." He kissed Sebastian gently before he turned the water off long enough to get out and shut the door.

Kurt dried and dressed quickly while Sebastian finished his shower.

* * *

When he entered the living room, he could see that Carole and Nina were still in the pool. Art was in the kitchen doing the dishes from when he and Burt had eaten earlier. He looked up when he heard Kurt.

"He's sitting out in the sunroom."

Kurt nodded and went through the kitchen and dining room. He opened the door to the sunroom, stepped out, and pulled it closed behind him. Burt was sitting in one of the chairs looking out into the darkness with his head tipped up looking towards the sky. Kurt moved the chair that was next to Burt to face the window as well.

"Why would you tell people you barely know things about Mom that you've never told me?"

"I don't know, Kurt. I really don't. I never talk about her. I don't know what made me say anything. The only thing I can come up with is that in the therapy sessions that I go to separately, the therapist has been asking me questions about Lizzie, so she's been on my mind a lot lately. God, Kurt, I miss her so much and it just makes no sense. Just like Finn being gone makes no sense."

"It doesn't, but I think at some point, we just have to be okay with the fact that life doesn't make sense. I think you must have grown up with a much bigger does of 'God's in Control' than I had assumed you had."

"Yeah, that's possible. Lizzie wasn't religious. My parents hated that. But we didn't raise you the way I was raised. Anyway, I am sorry."

"So she went to school in Cincinnati."

"Yeah. She studied Marketing because she thought it would be a good stable career, but she performed too. She auditioned for their musicals and stuff she said. She couldn't be the lead because she wasn't a music major or whatever, but she had a good time."

"So, she was French. I just thought she must have gone on one of those study abroad programs to learn to speak it so well."

"She never talked about her life in France, so I guess it just never came to mind to tell you. She told me that she wished she didn't have to go back. She never really did say why. We got married before her student Visa ended, so she wouldn't have to. She never went back. I don't really know anything else to tell you other than she single-handedly helped me turn my dad's shop that only did tires and oil changes that was barely scraping by into a full-service shop that began turning a profit under her financial leadership. She taught me how to run it and keep people coming back."

Kurt smiled sadly. "Okay. Maybe you could write down or record the things you remember about her, even little things. I'd like to know more about her. I barely remember her now."

"I can do that. I guess I just never considered telling you a single piece of incomplete information when you were too young to even know what Marketing meant or what a Visa was. I knew so little that I felt like saying anything would be a let down, if that makes sense. I felt guilty for not knowing anything to share with you. She never talked about anything before her college years. I never asked. I figured that if she ever wanted to tell me that she would."

"I get that. I really do. I wouldn't push Sebastian for information either."

"I never talked about my parents basically arranged marriage because I didn't know what purpose it would serve since you never met them."

"I get that." Kurt took a deep breath and put the chair back. "I'll see you in the morning."

"C'mere." He stood up and pulled Kurt into a hug. I'll do what you asked. I'll record myself telling whatever I can remember about her. I'll use the old tape recorder at home. I still have plenty of blank cassettes. I'll let you figure out the technology part of how to store them digitally or whatever." He let Kurt go.

"Thanks. Good night, Dad."

"'Night, bud."


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the chapter that should have been posted on Friday, but it ended in the middle of the much-needed, long conversation between Burt and Kurt, so I am uploading Monday's chapter as well to keep the scene moving.

Kurt could see light coming from underneath the bedroom door. He opened it and saw Sebastian lying in bed, wearing his glasses with a book on his chest and his eyes closed. Kurt closed the door quietly, slipped his clothes off, and laid them on the dresser to wear the next morning. He turned the light off, and carefully removed Sebastian's glasses and the book and put them on the nightstand. He turned back and stood looking at his sweet and snarky boyfriend who made him smile every day. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before walking around to his side of the bed and slipping in as gently as possible. The instant he was under the sheet, Sebastian rolled over and wrapped himself around Kurt and snuggled in, all seemingly instinctual as he didn't wake or say anything.

Kurt's thoughts rattled, floated, and zoomed around in his mind, keeping him from falling asleep. He interrogated himself. How had he let so many years pass by without asking anything specific about his mom? He knew that his dad didn't like talking about her because it made him sad, but sadness aside, he felt cheated out of the memories he could have had. He had been too young for the memories he had to stay frozen in his mind. He could remember bits and parts of things, but he knew that if his dad had shown him photos. Were there photos? If his dad had shown them to him and talked about them, he would have been able to recall the events himself from the repetition of hearing the details.

Kurt knew he would never be able to hold it against his dad. He had never managed to hold on to a grudge. He had forgiven everyone who had hurt him, even if they weren't sorry. He believed that saying – that holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. He was still angry right at the moment though. He wanted to know everything, but he didn't want to hurt his dad. He wondered why it couldn't be easier somehow. Maybe telling the stories to the tape recorder would make it easier.

He was stuck between wanting to touch Sebastian and not wanting to wake him up. He loved the feeling of Sebastian cuddled up on him, so he focused on that and on his rhythmic breathing and tried his own version of counting sleep where he thought of a word, and then had to think of five songs with the word in them. He could hear pitter patter on the window. Rain.

_Raindrops keep falling on my head.  
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red.  
Crying's not for me.  
'Cause I'll never stop the rain by complaining  
Because I'm free.  
Nothing's worrying me._

His mind wandered to hanging around his dad's shop as a kid and the radio station being set to oldies and hearing that song so many times. He moved on to trying to think of another.

_Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,  
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens,  
Brown paper packages tied up with string,  
These are a few of my favorite things._

He thought about how he needed to rewatch _The Sound of Music_ with Sebastian to push away the memories of singing it with Blaine, Rachel, and Mercedes in their TV Christmas special. He forced himself to think of a new song.

_I'm singing in the rain,  
Singing in the rain.  
What a glorious feeling.  
I'm happy again._

He remembered doing the mashup of "Umbrella" and "Singing in the Rain" with Holly Holiday, which brought a smile to his face. He always appreciated her enthusiasm and effort to get her students involved in learning. His mind searched for another song.

_Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter.  
Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter.  
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade._

He stopped. Rachel's botched audition, which led her to getting accepted. No. He was not thinking about that. New song. Nothing came to mind. He realized that he was wrong. He was still harboring anger towards Rachel. He took a deep breath. He'd have to deal with that later. He needed to sleep. Another song. He needed another song.

_I love a rainy night.  
It's such a beautiful sight.  
I love to feel the rain on my face,  
Taste the rain on my lips,  
In the moonlight shadow._

_Showers wash all my cares away.  
I wake up to a sunny day._

' _Cause I love a rainy night.  
I love a rainy night.  
I love a rainy night.  
I love a rainy night._

A few tears streaked down his cheeks. His attempt to keep himself from crying failed and so did his efforts to keep from waking Sebastian up.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Sebastian reached up and ran his thumb across Kurt's cheek.

"I don't know how to answer that. I was trying to be quiet and let you sleep."

"You were thinking of songs again, weren't you?"

"Yeah. And I chose rain as the word because I could hear light rain outside. And a song popped into my mind that I don't even consciously remember learning, but it was there in the back of my mind. I used to be afraid when it stormed at night. And when I was about six, I think, my mom took me out in the back yard. It was in the summer, so it was warm. She sang this old country song and stepped out into the rain and danced around. She encouraged me to join her. She picked me up and we danced and danced and got soaking wet. It's been a long times since I thought about that. After that, I wasn't afraid."

"Sing it?"

"I only remember part of it." He sang as much as he could remember.

"Do you want to go outside with me and dance in the rain?"

"I don't want to wake everyone else up, going down the hall and opening the door to the lanai."

"We can be very quiet in the hall and we can go out through the sunroom, so we don't open sliding doors and wake anyone up."

"Yes."

They slipped off their boxer briefs and put on their swim trunks and water shoes and went outside. Once they were outside, Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian's torso and pressed his hands against his shoulder blades. Sebastian let his hands drape around Kurt's waist. The both turned their heads slightly so they could stand chest to chest. Sebastian began to hum and then sing. He swayed and moved to the music.

_Love me tender. Love me sweet.  
Never let me go.  
You have made my life complete.  
And I love you so._

_Love me tender. Love me true.  
All my dreams fulfill.  
For my darling, I love you.  
And I always will._

_Love me tender. Love me long.  
Take me to your heart.  
For it's there that I belong.  
And we'll never part._

_Love me tender. Love me true.  
All my dreams fulfill.  
For my darling, I love you.  
And I always will._

_Love me tender. Love me, dear.  
Tell me you are mine.  
I'll be yours through all the years,  
'Til the end of time._

_Love me tender. Love me true.  
All my dreams fulfill.  
For my darling, I love you.  
And I always will._

Kurt pulled back just enough to look at Sebastian in the pale light of the faux candle that Sebastian had grabbed on their way out of their room. "I love you too, Sebastian." He kissed Sebastian gently, as they continue to sway slightly despite the lack of music. The kissing built until they were breathing the same air and Kurt pulled back to catch his breath. He began to smile and laugh. "I love you so much. Thank you for being ridiculous with me and dancing outside in the rain with me."

"Let's get one of those waterproof speakers we can sit out here and we can play music from one of our phones so we can dance as much as you want, rain or no rain."

Kurt began to hum the song as they continued to sway. "I am yours, you know. The song says 'Tell me you are mine.' I am. I am yours. Completely." He began to hum "I'm Yours" instead.

Sebastian smiled and heart swelled with joy hearing those words. He knew Kurt didn't do things halfway, but hearing him say the words felt amazing. "Sing it."

Kurt nodded and sang while they continued to sway dance. It began to rain harder, but that didn't bother them one bit.

* * *

Sunday morning, Kurt and Sebastian got up early and went down to the beach to watch the sunrise again. When they came back, everyone else was up.

"Oh, hey," Art said, as they came in the front door. "We thought you two were still asleep."

Sebastian responded, "We went to watch the sunrise."

"Breakfast is almost done. I was on my way to wake you up."

"Sounds good," Kurt said. "We'll be right back after we change."

They jumped in the shower and washed the sand off quickly before the got dressed and went back to sit at the dining room table with everyone.

"Nice sunrise?" Art asked.

"It really was," Kurt answered. "It was a very intense salmon color this morning. Just a few fluffy clouds in the horizon."

"Sounds pretty," Carole said. "We're going to Castillo whatever-it-is after breakfast, right?"

"If you both still want to go. I wasn't sure."

"I definitely want to," Carole said. "Burt?"

"I'm sorry. What?"

Kurt said, "Castillo de San Marcos. Do you still want to go there?"

"Yeah, sure. Sounds cool. I've never been to any kind of castle before."

* * *

When they got there, Burt took Kurt aside and stayed outside and walked around while everyone else went inside.

"I know you've been here before. I want to talk for a while, if that's okay."

"Yeah, sure."

They walked for a bit until they were alone.

Burt took a deep breath. "You remember after Finn died and we were in his room, working to sort through his stuff?"

"Of course. That was a rough time."

"It was. I remember saying something about how Finn didn't have a prejudiced bone in his body or something."

"Yeah…"

"I was wrong about that, wasn't I?"

"Yeah. He never was comfortable about it. He refused to help with Dave when he was really coming after me. The girls in Glee got the guys to go confront him. Not Puck because he was on probation. But Mike and Artie, and then Sam ended up stepping in when Dave pushed Mike into Artie causing Artie's wheelchair to tip and knocking Artie to the floor. Dave punched Sam and he got a black eye, but he knocked Dave into the lockers a couple of times and landed a few good hits from what I was told. Finn refused to go with them. When you asked him where he had been while it was going on, the truth was that he was standing back and doing nothing."

"I see."

"Remember when Sebastian confronted you about teasing me about my fashion choices and stuff?"

"Yeah."

"That gave Finn enough support to continue to believe that I was the one who needed to change. If I would just dress normally, Dave would leave me alone. Before ou came downstairs and walked in on us arguing, he told me that he was putting his underwear on in the shower so I couldn't possibly see him undressed. That's homophobic dad. I'm not a predator, but he treated me like I was. It wasn't until he came back from Georgia that he sort of changed. The morning that he snuck out of the apartment, which was the day after Blaine had told me that he had cheated on me – that was the first time Finn offered me a real, heartfelt hug. He said all of that stuff at your wedding and sang that completely inappropriate song to me, but nothing really changed."

"That's difficult to hear."

"What were you going to say about going through his stuff that day?"

"Oh, yeah. I said that I should have hugged him more. And through talking to the therapist and doing a lot of thinking, I was right. I should have hugged him more. I should hug you and Carole more. I've come to realize that I'm not a very demonstrative person, even though from my perspective I thought I was doing a good job."

"From what little I heard you say last night, I got the impression that you never saw your parents be affectionate."

"I didn't. My dad built up the tire and lube shop from just doing oil changes when he was in high school and started working at the shop. When the owner needed to move out of town, he sold the place to my dad. I was maybe ten at the time. His dad helped him by selling some land he had that he wasn't interested in farming anymore. I did a 2-year mechanics program at LCC back before they added more university type classes. They offered several 2-year certification type programs. Nursing, accounting, secretarial stuff, things like that."

"Okay."

"So, my dad ran the shop and my mom worked as a secretary for one of the elementary schools. It was a the perfect job because whenever there was no school, she was off, so she didn't have to pay anyone to watch me or Andy. Up until we went to school, our grandma watched us – my mom's mother. She didn't put up with any nonsense. Boys were to be tough and never cry. If we cried, she'd give us a reason to cry by whipping us with a switch that we had to go out and choose."

"Oh, God."

"Well, we learned quickly to keep our feelings to ourselves because I'll tell you what, being switched hurts like hell. And if it happened we got exactly zero sympathy from our mom and dad because we must have brought it on ourselves."

Kurt's heart hurt for the way his dad had been raised. "Thank you for not raising me that way. I mean that. I can only imagine what a mess I would be if you had switched me for showing my emotions."

"Yeah." He chuckled and shook his head. "Your mom wouldn't have let me get near you with a switch. She would have grabbed it from me and tossed me out on my ear and told me that I wasn't welcome back until I could be a good father."

Kurt smiled. "She was a mama bear then."

"Oh, yeah. She let you be exactly who you were. I was the one who struggled. I learned to never raise my voice. I learned that you having feelings and expressing them was good for you, but I never really learned how to show my emotions very well."

"I would imagine not after what you said."

"There are a lot of things I wish I had done differently, Kurt. A lot. And the hardest thing is to know that I unintentionally hurt you. That's the last thing in the world I would do."

"I know, Dad. I know."

"I mean, I knew you were gay from the time you were a toddler. You never once wanted to find a princess that needed rescued. The stories you made up were never about a prince and a princess unless the girl was the prince's best friend. But I didn't do anything to make it easier for you. I didn't know what to do. Honestly, counseling and therapy wasn't for regular, normal people. It was for seriously deranged people. I know that's wrong now, but I didn't then. There was no such thing as the internet. I couldn't go online and look things up. And when it did makes its way to homes in Lima, I'm sure that what I would have found online in the mid-'90s would have been things on how to prevent you from becoming gay. I saw a book like that in the bookstore. I didn't see any on how to raise a gay son."

"I don't know if there are books like that now. I'd like to think there are, but I've honestly never looked."

"I should have tried harder. But honestly I didn't want you to be gay. Not because being gay is wrong or sinful or whatever, but I knew how hard it could make your life. And then I made it harder myself because I should have at least sought out some grief counseling."

"I'm not angry with you, Dad. I'm not. Would it have been easier for me if you had learned more about what it's like to be gay? Maybe. I wouldn't know where to learn about that, even now. I mean it's just been since 2003 that being gay is legal in all 50 states. I get that there wouldn't have been much for you to find in Lima about it. 'Don't Ask. Don't tell.' Only ended two years ago. It's not like you would have found a world of support somewhere. There weren't any pro-LGBT groups around. I still can't get married in Ohio and it's 2013. To be completely honest, the only thing I can think of that you could have done to make it better for me would have been to specifically tell me at some point that being gay and being straight were equal to you. That you personally would be friends with a gay person just as much as a straight person. And that being gay wasn't a moral issue. Actually, I have a question for you."

"What's that?"

"Did you go to school with Mr. Ryerson?"

"Yes."

"Well, that explains a lot."

"What do you mean?"

"No wonder a bunch of the guys I went to school with were afraid I'd try to peek at their 'junk', as they called it. Mr. Ryerson is a pervert. You know that there are heterosexual perverts too."

"I suppose there are. I never thought about it."

"I think you knew quite a few. You just don't think of it as being perverted. How many guys did you know that would try to sneak a peek into the girls' locker room or try to feel a girl up in a crowded space where she couldn't determine who was the one groping her? Or pinch girls on the butt as they walked past?"

"Oh. I guess you're right that I never considered any of that perverted."

"All of those things were invading someone's privacy or touching them without consent. Think about this. I'm absolutely certain that if a guy had been doing those things to you that you would have considered them perverted."

"You're right. If a guy had grabbed my crotch, I would have decked him. Girls put up with it."

"Because they weren't strong enough to deck someone. Plus, they were probably just told, 'Boys will be boys. Just ignore them.' Or something else equally sexist. The trouble comes down to guys being on the receiving end of the boys-will-be-boys behavior. You didn't want a guy pushing you into a locker and blowing into your ear or licking it. You didn't want someone running his hand down your butt while standing in line to get your lunch. You didn't want a guy to stand across from you in the shower and enjoy watching you shower. Guys don't want to be on the receiving end of masculine behavior. Guess what? Girls don't either. They just don't really get much of a choice about it."

"Yeah, I get that. I never thought about it that way."

"I crushed on him because he held my expensive satchel and my designer coat when Puck and one of the other Neanderthals through me into the dumpster. That's literally all it took, Dad. He was nice enough to hold my expensive things while other jocks dumpstered me. That level of nice was what caused me to develop a crush on him."

"Oh, God, Kurt."

Kurt went on. "I never, ever did any of those things I just mentioned to Finn. I stared at him from across the room because he was cute. I helped him with his homework and his singing and picking out an outfit. If I had been a girl, what I did would not have bothered him at all. Those two things are probably the two most hurtful things you ever said."

"Be specific."

"When I told you I was gay, you told me that you loved me just the same, which mean everything to me. You also said that you weren't totally in love with the idea, but that there was nothing you could do about it. That hurt. There was nothing I could do about it either."

"I get that. Not the best response I could have given. What was the second thing."

"When you took Finn's side about Sam. I just wanted to sing with him. I didn't know whether he was gay or straight. He showed up to school in Lima with bleach blond hair. That's not exactly the look most straight boys choose. Finn went to him and told him that if he sang with me that it would paint a bullseye on his back, targeting him for bullying. It would have been in Glee Club. Ten other students, plus Mr. Schue would have seen it. That's it. The only way the whole school would have known was if Finn and Puck told the rest of the football team. I won't ever bring it up to Carole, but whatever Finn told her about my behavior was way out of proportion. I was far too shy about that kind of thing to have done anything overt like touch him or say anything that made him uncomfortable like 'nice dick' or whatever the equivalent inappropriate remark would be to 'nice rack' that guys say to girls all the time. It hurt that you didn't even ask me about what had gone on between us. You made me feel dirty and like you thought I was a pervert."

"Given what you've said already, I'm sure that was part of it. I despise Sandy Ryerson. He's a vile man. That's why I wouldn't let you choose to be in the choir your freshman year when you signed up for classes. I didn't want you to be around him at all, but I didn't have the power to get him fired."

"Mr. Schuester blackmailed Finn to join Glee Club."

Burt stopped in his tracks. "What now?"

"It's true. It's water under the bridge now, but while Mr. Schuester wasn't a pervert, he wasn't the best role model by far. He was married and flirted continuously with Miss Pillsbury. He drunk dialed Sue and she played his drunk sexual ramblings over the PA. He dated Holly Holiday. He got April Rhoades to join the group. He went to high school with her, but she didn't officially graduate. She had sex with some of the guys in the locker room. And since we're confessing crimes, she gave me Chablis and told me that it was liquid courage, which I needed a lot of, so I drank way too much and I threw up on Miss Pillsbury, causing her to have to go to the ER because of her OCD. I spent the day in the nurse's office sleeping off my 'migraine', aka my hangover."

"Oh, my God, Kurt. This is like a bad soap opera."

"You got it. Mr. Schue was also very biased. When he thought Finn was the father of Quinn's baby, he took Finn out for tacos to talk to him and he took the two of them to Quinn's OBGYN appointment, but after it came out that Puck was the father, he did nothing whatsoever to help Puck."

"And you liked him as a teacher?"

"He was actually better than most."

"That school needs an overhaul."

"That's an understatement. Sue forcefully transferred everyone in Glee Club last year to a new school for this fall, except the one girl who was a Cheerio."

"How can she do that? School district is determined by where you live."

"You figure it out. Some very creative gerrymandering that she blackmailed someone on the school board to approve?"

"Back to me and you. I can't think about Sue right this minute." He took a deep breath. They were half way around the castle. Burt stopped and looked out towards the water, clearly trying to process everything that Kurt had said. "You're right that what I said when you came out wasn't the best thing to say, but it was honestly how I felt. I can apologize for not seeking out someone to help me. I should have. If I had, I would have had access to resources that could have helped me deal with my issues about gay men. For that, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hadn't dealt with my own personal issues when you were younger. I still felt like being a man and being strong meant to not tell anyone how I felt. I'm glad that your mom didn't impose that kind of thinking on you and that I listened to her and followed her example."

Kurt stopped and turned to face Burt. "So you legitimately thought I would grow up to be a pervert like Mr. Ryerson?"


	48. Chapter 48

"Other than a few gay men who were never portrayed in a positive light on TV, you know they were always criminals of some sort, I didn't have any other experience with gay men. I did my best to raise you to be a good person, but I was told that gay men went to hell because they were sinners. I couldn't see how you were a bad child, so I figured that at some point you'd become like the gay men everyone talked about. You know, the ones that had sex with anyone willing. Cut me some slack, Kurt. I went to high school during the AIDS crisis and we were told from way high up in the government that AIDS was a plague on sinful, homosexual men. And that it was God's punishment for being gay. I didn't have access to any information that said anything different than that. In the '80s, computers were glorified typewriters and adding machines. They didn't even have any way to store information on them. We had to use huge floppy disks to store anything."

Kurt moved closer and threw his arms around Burt's neck and began to cry. "Thank you."

Burt wrapped his arms around Kurt. "For what, bud?"

"For loving me. For treating me like a human being, not just some pervert-to-be. So many things make so much more sense now."

"What do you mean?" Burt stepped back.

It was too hard for Kurt to maintain eye contact and answer the question. He turned and started to walk again. "I'd get comments from guys at school, saying things like, 'If I had been born a fag like you, my dad would have drowned as a baby.' Or 'If I was a fag, my dad would have made my mom put me up for adoption.' Different things that never made any sense to me. 'If I was a fag, my dad would have beaten it out of me.'"

"Sadly, I can see that being true. If I had married someone besides your mom, and if my parents had been alive when it was obvious that you were gay as a toddler, I'm sure that I would have been told to switch it out of you. I can just imagine my dad saying, 'Blister his bottom a few times and he's stop talking about marrying a prince. You need to get control of his little mind before it's too late.'"

"What you told me when you gave me the talk makes so much more sense now. When you told me not to throw myself around. You were actually concerned that I would just start to have sex with any and everyone. Well, guys."

Burt nodded. "Yeah. And all of the AIDS stuff came rushing back to mind. I didn't want you to get sick and die."

"Condoms are readily available for free now."

Burt about choked. "Yeah, I found that out when I went to the clinic and asked for the pamphlets, which was something I should have done before you were 17."

"True. But at least you did it. They were very informative and thorough." Kurt watched Burt turn red, and chuckled to himself.

"New topic."

"Why? Would you be turning red and changing the topic if I were straight?"

"Probably. It's just too weird for me to think of you… you know…"

"Having sex."

"Kurt!"

"No one can hear us. I'm 20 years old. I'm not a virgin, well not exactly. I guess it depends on your definition."

"I have no idea what that means, and I really don't want to know. All that matters is that you're being safe. I don't want you to get AIDS or anything else."

"I went to a clinic and got tested ages ago. I had only ever… My only partner had been Blaine, but when he cheated on me, I went to get tested then on the off chance that he had been sleeping with other people before then. And when I stupidly slept with him at the wedding, I went back and was tested three months in a row. I'm clean. Sebastian went too."

"I should hope so."

"What does that mean?"

He sighed. "I've heard rumors about him."

"Whatever they were, they were probably exaggerated."

"Good to know."

"I'd venture to guess it was Rachel."

"Yeah. She gave me an earful and it wasn't just about him being a … What did she say? A manwhore. It was about him blackmailing Finn and injuring Blaine."

"He's not a manwhore, not that it's any of Rachel's business how many people Sebastian has had sex with. It's the same number that she's had sex with."

"So, you're saying it's a case of the pot calling the kettle black?"

"No, I'm saying the pot is spouting off lies, well rumors that are false would be a more accurate description."

"I see."

"Sebastian did blackmail Finn. But at the beginning of junior year, Rachel gave a new student named Sunshine an address and time to audition for Glee Club – the address of an abandoned crack house, where Sunshine was robbed. All because Rachel was threatened by her talent."

"What?"

"Yep. And he did throw a slushie that injured Blaine's eye. But Blaine was stupid and didn't close his eyes when dove to block him from hitting my clothes with it. Clothes that would not have been injured like an eye. And yes, Sebastian and I have dealt with this. We dealt with it a year and a half ago a few weeks after it happened. It was all a bunch of show choir nonsense, like when Vocal Adrenaline TPed the choir room and egged Rachel. And when Rachel spied on VA and I spied on the Warblers. When Jane Addams school and the deaf school used songs from our stolen set list. And when Finn and Puck slashed VA's tires."

"He did what now?"

"Supposedly they paid Ms. Corcoran back, but I don't see how. He and Puck only kept their jobs at Sheets and Things for like a month. Tires for 26 Range Rovers would have cost a lot more than they could have earned in a month, unless somehow they got Terri Schuester to say they had worked a lot more hours than they did, which would, of course, be fraud."

"This talk is going in ways I could not have possibly imagined."

"I bet. It's been my crazy life."

"You said 26 Range Rovers?"

"Yep."

"At cost, that would be like $10,000."

"I know."

"There's no way they made $5000 each at Sheets and Things."

"I know that too. I was told it had been 'taken care of' and to mind my own business."

"I'll deal with that later. Just text me the person's name to contact."

"I can do that. I think the most frustrating part of Finn was that everyone thought he was this amazing all-American good guy, but he did his fair share of crappy things too. But somehow he was always like Teflon or a cute puppy that no one could ever actually bring themselves to discipline. Or he'd apologize and then go back to doing whatever it was, which isn't actually being sorry. He outed Santana. That was traumatizing. Her grandma still won't speak to her. But a few days later, everyone seemed to have just forgotten about it. Even Santana forgave him for it, and she rarely forgives. I don't really want to get into it anymore. He was Finn. He was loved. And he was human. And I know that Carole misses him desperately. She's not going to get to see him to grow up to be a good man. I think he would have. He had figured out what he wanted to do. He hadn't really gotten on the straight and narrow yet, but I was hoping he would eventually."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that Puck had kicked Finn's real roommate out and he was living with Finn in his dorm room. They were going to keggers and performing at them. And putting Slip-n-Slides in the dorm hallway. Puck bragged about how Finn told him that he let a girl in without paying in trade for her bikini top. Maybe Puck was making that up. I just know that Finn wasn't being the studious college student that you and Carole had hoped he was being. While I was killing myself in New York working two jobs and barely making ends meet, he was living it up and partying on campus and sleeping through his classes while you two were covering all of his expenses."

Burt stopped again.

"Look, I'm not angry. I chose to go to a very expensive school. You did not give Finn more money than you gave me. I wasn't angry about that part. I was mad that he was horsing around instead of putting his full effort into it. If he wasn't really ready to apply himself yet, then he should have just taken one or two classes at a time and lived at home until he was ready to be serious about it."

"That's a fair point. And I agree. I took his 'Everything is great.' at face value. I didn't inquire further. I was tired and didn't feel good, and I liked his answer, to be honest. I didn't want one more complicated or negative thing to have to deal with."

"I get that."

"And then I was complicit in an event that was negative for you and made your life complicated. That's actually one of the things I wanted to apologize for. I had told him no when he came to me asking my permission to marry him."

"Like I was some girl that you had control over. Ugh. Go on."

"But after I told him no, I went ahead and took you to the proposal, and I didn't listen when you asked for an out. When I realized that you knew and you didn't seem thrilled, I should have turned the car around."

"Probably. But things worked out. I love Sebastian. Really love him. We're equals. We're partners. I'm not one-sixth of Klaine."

"I don't know what that means, but I'm glad you are Sebastian are equal partners. When I got up to get a drink last night, I saw the two of you last night, outside dancing in the rain. At first, I was really uncomfortable, but I checked myself. And I really looked at the two of you. There was nothing risqué or inappropriate going on. You were wearing swim trunks dancing next to a pool. You weren't outside having public sex or flashing people. I realized that I have work to do on myself still. If you had been outside dancing with a girl in a bikini, I would have felt awkward too, but not as much. I'm used to seeing a guy and a girl be intimate. We see it every day on TV and in the movies. But there's no difference. None."

"Thank you for saying that. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to changing. That was one of the other things that made me feel terrible."

"What?"

"When you came in and found me kissing Brittany and told us to use protection and when you came in and found Blaine hung-over, dead asleep in my bed, you told me that I had been inappropriate. Seriously? And then you said that I couldn't have a guy over that 'might' be gay without your permission. You know what that meant, right?"

"I guess not."

"That I couldn't have _any_ guys over because I wasn't going to question their sexuality before I invited them over. What was I supposed to say, 'Oh, by the way, I have to know whether you are sexually attracted to guys before you can spend the night at my house. That's my dad's rule.'"

"You're right. I was ridiculous. I knew you weren't really going to have sex with Brittany."

"Only because I turned her down about ten times. She was pretty determined. I was the only guy that had been on the football team that she hadn't had sex with and she was really determined to keep her perfect record. I had to move and re-move her hands numerous times. And I had to explain to her that I only wanted to kiss. She wasn't thrilled in the least by my continued disinterest. She told me that she was sure that she could get me 'interested' enough with her 'skilled tongue'." Kurt enjoyed watching Burt turn red.

"That's enough. That's more than I want to know about that topic."

Kurt laughed. "Okay, then. How many girls did you have sex with before you married Mom?"

Burt about choked. "That is not up for discussion."

"Suit yourself, but it's another double-standard you have. Since I'm gay, I'm the girl and I was supposed to stay pure for the man I'd marry. That's how it felt."

"Fine. Fine. You're right, but not for the reason you think. I didn't want you to do what I had done. I wanted it to be meaningful for you. I realized how different it had been with your mom than those other girls. I wanted you to have _that_. Not what I had done."

"You could have just told me that."

"You're right. I could have – if I had tried harder. That's on me. It's all on me. I was the parent and you were the child. And I had a lot of preconceived notions that were false. And it's taken me too long to get to where I am now, but as much as I would like to be able to turn back time, for a lot of different reasons – I can't do that. But I can change now and not make the same mistakes again. Stop for a second."

Kurt stopped and turned towards him.

"I love you as much as I am capable of loving anyone. You are my son. I will fight for your right to marry whoever you want, whether it's Sebastian or someone else later down the line. I will do everything in my power to make things better for the next generation of LGBTQ kids. I'd like to make a lot of changes and I'm doing everything I can. I'm going to keep going to therapy. I'm going to get over what's left of my ingrained homophobia. I want you to be happy. And I see that you are with Sebastian. Those things that Rachel said he did, so he was what? 16 or 17?"

"Yeah, 17."

"I was an ass at 17. If your mom had met me then, she wouldn't have given me a second look. He didn't mean to hurt Blaine? All the better. I wish I could say the same about myself. And blackmailing Finn? Sounds like Schuester did that and he was in his 30s, proving that some people don't mature – they just get older. I'm going to find out what he did, so you can tell me now or I'll just go interrogate it out of Schuester."

"He planted pot in Finn's locker and told him that he'd make it go away if he joined Glee Club."

"Great." Burt huffed. "I won't tell Schuester where I got the info. And be sure to text me whoever Finn owed all that money to."

"I'll do that."

"So are we good? I mean, I'm not asking you to just straight up be okay with everything. I'm just asking if there's anything else you'd like to tell me."

"No, but there is something I'd like to thank you for, off the record of course," Kurt teased.

"And what's that?"

"Getting the news of the proposal into Mr. Anderson's hands. He's not letting Blaine go to NYADA, so I won't have him hanging around trying to worm his way back into my life. He's going to college in Ohio."

"Oh, well that's good news. I have no idea what you're talking about though." He chuckled. "We have some good schools in Ohio. I'm sure he'll get a good education."

Kurt laughed. "I'm sure he will."

"I know I said that I saw you two last night. And I've seen you holding hands and walking side-by-side with your arms around each other here. Be honest with me. Are you really serious about him?"

"Have you ever met Mr. and Mrs. Anderson?"

"No, why? What does that have to do with my question?"

"How long did Blaine and I date?"

"Umm." Burt paused. "A year and a half?"

"How long have Sebastian and I been dating?"

"I'm not exactly sure, but somewhere around three months."

"And you and Carole are here, spending time with his parents when you never met Blaine's parents. That should say something to you. I've never met Blaine's parents either. Sebastian was excited to show me off, or whatever you want to call it. We came here and spent time with his family a little over three weeks after we started dating. He told me right after we started dating that he wanted his parents to meet me. He told his mom the day I asked him out. His whole extended family made me feel like I belonged from the moment I met them."

"And you're not drawn to him because he's not making you pay rent or because he has a nice family. You actually like him as a person?"

"Yes, very much so. He's funny, sarcastic, and sweet – and so smart. Seriously. It's ridiculous how smart he is. And I feel like myself when I'm with him. And that took patience on his part. A lot of patience. After what I had gone through with Blaine, the struggle to live with Rachel, you being sick, and Finn dying, I had walls like this castle. And some serious snark and smart-assery to guard myself. He showed himself to be a good friend when no one else was there for me. I told him I wasn't interested in anything more than potentially being friends. He never pushed me – unlike other people. He's never once acted like I was anything besides a competent person. He has never treated any of my interests like something I should be ashamed of or put me in a category with girls. He gave my TV shows a chance and now watches a couple of them with me. I've learned that being someone's partner isn't about compromising – it's about working together for a mutually enjoyable outcome."

"Well, that was a hell of a speech."

"Why did you ask me that anyway?"

"Because I never asked you what you saw in Blaine and that was clearly another one of my mistakes. I was uncomfortable that you were dating. I wanted to keep my distance and just be accepting. I'm not saying that I shouldn't have been accepting, but I should have helped you navigate your feelings and help you distinguish love from lust, friendship, admiration, and absolute desperation for anyone to listen to you because I wasn't doing my job."

"Stop being so hard on yourself."

"Stop being so easy on me. I need to have some sense knocked into me every now and again. You were right yesterday. Carole just glowed when I went over and showed her the smallest amount of affection. I can't keep being stingy with it just because I'm not used to it. If there's nothing else we need to deal with right away, let's go inside and find them."

They made their way to the entrance.

"We won't have to look. This is my second time here." Kurt took out his phone and texted Sebastian to find out where they were. "Let's go."

"We'll do better. Both of us. You'll be truthful with me and stop acting like you need to protect me. And I'll get the rest of the homophobia out of me, along with getting over my lack of communication. It goes both ways. I didn't share with you and you grew up keeping things from me. A perfect circle of miscommunication."

"No more of that. But you'll stop grilling me about Sebastian, right?"

"That boy looks at you like I used to look at your mom. I just wanted to make sure that you were in it for the right reasons. He has very little to gain by dating you. You're not going to help him up the ladder to being a physicist through nepotism or by financial influence. My being a congressman gets him exactly nothing as a physicist. He didn't choose you for any reason other than wanting to be with you."

Kurt nodded. "I know."

They went in the front and made their way through the fort to where everyone else was.

Sebastian stepped outside the room they were in so Burt and Kurt could find them easily. When he saw Kurt coming through the courtyard, his eyes lit up. When Kurt got within a few feet, Sebastian moved closer and reached out for his hand. "Hey, babe."

"Hey, sweetie." Kurt pecked him on the lips. "How's it going?"

"Well, Mom and Carole wonder how anyone lived to modern times."

Burt laughed. "Which room are they in?"

Sebastian pointed to the one on his left.

Burt nodded and walked toward the room to go in and look around.

"He saw us dancing in the rain last night."

"And? Is that good or bad or neutral."

"He grilled me to make sure I wasn't after your money or accepting family. He said that you look at me like he used to look at my mom and he wanted to make sure I was with you for the right reasons."

"Well, that's unexpected." He winked at Kurt. "Did you pass the interrogation?"

"I did. Be prepared for a bear hug at some point. It'll be your induction into the Hummel clan."

Sebastian laughed. "I can't wait." He squeezed Kurt's hand. "I'm serious, you know. I want your dad to like me. I don't want one of those adversarial relationships with him. I know he's really important to you and you're really important to me."

Kurt led Sebastian towards the room where the King of Spain's treasure was stored before it was taken back to Spain. He saw Carole look at his dad with a genuine, warm smile when she came out of the room since the room was empty. Nina and Art were right behind her. Carole took Burt's hand when he offered it.

"So up to the top to see the view and the canons?" Kurt asked.

Everyone nodded and headed towards the stairs. Once they were on the top of the fort, they could see out across the Matanzas River and out to the ocean on through the inlet at the north end of Anastasia Island, which was next on their agenda. None of them had been there, so they were looking forward to having lunch at the beach and hiking some of the nature trails and seeing all the different birds.

Kurt and Sebastian were walking along the edge and heard Burt talking to Carole.

He wrapped his arm around her waist. "I didn't say anything this morning, but I did notice how nice that dress looks on you. And I like the shoes too. Is that what you got yesterday?"

She nodded. "And one other thing, but you'll see that tomorrow."

He squished her a bit into a side hug and kissed her on the temple.

"What was that for?" she asked, bafflement on her face.

"Because I love you."

"I love you too, honey." She pointed out across the water. "That's where we're going next." She wiped her eyes. "I'm glad Finn got to see the ocean last summer when he was hiking around. He told me how amazing it was."

"I'm glad he did too. And it is really beautiful. It's no wonder so many people retire here."

Kurt and Sebastian walked up and stood next to them. "I have days when I think 'Why wait to retire here?'"

Carole chuckled. "That's true. You haven't settled down anywhere yet. I can see the appeal of wanting to live here."

The four of them moved down the wall a little ways where Nina and Art were listening to someone tell them about the use of the canons in the defense of the fort and the city. He was talking about how cannonballs fired from the ship barely had any effect on the coquina, which was the natural shell rock the fort's walls had been built out of. He pointed out over the water to the area of Anastasia Island where the rock had been quarried. He told them that at the base the walls were 16 feet thick and that it had taken 23 years to build the fort. When they finished listening, they moved on to walk around the rest of the top of the fort.

Sebastian kept hold of Kurt's hand and let the other four get ahead of them a bit. "Are things okay?"

Kurt squeezed his hand. "They are. They're better than they ever have been, really. We talked about a lot of stuff. He apologized and explained quite a few things that made a lot of other things make a lot more sense."

"I'm glad."

"Me too. Me too."


	49. Chapter 49

Late Monday afternoon, Kurt and Sebastian made it back home. During their afternoon of playing cards the day before they had done laundry, so they were putting their clothes away as they unpacked. The whole time they were unpacking, Sebastian was being very physically affectionate. He ran his fingers along Kurt's arms. He kissed the back of his neck as he walked past several times.

Even though they hadn't been able to attend rehearsal the night before, they were still planning to perform that evening at the open mic and karaoke place, so Kurt pulled out two outfits that were predominantly black with red accents and put them at the end by themselves. Sebastian walked into the closet and wrapped his arms around Kurt from behind and propped his chin on Kurt's shoulder. They stood that way for a minute or so.

Kurt turned in his arms. "Is there something wrong? I'm enjoying all of the affectionate attention, but I just want to make sure you're alright. Are you feeling nervous about classes starting tomorrow?"

"Not really in the way that I think you mean. I think I'm just feeling a bit jet-lagged and a bit out of sorts from leaving a place where I feel so comfortable with you. It's like this fairy tale. You and your dad talked and worked through a lot of things. Our parents got along and your dad is coming around. He didn't glare at me once all day yesterday or today. He even seemed to enjoy watching the videos of the band that Aunt Izzie sent to my mom. And it was just magical – every part of it. And I don't want to lose that now that we're back here." He kissed Kurt, a kiss full of love and near desperation.

Kurt could feel the intensity of Sebastian's anxiety in his kiss. He pulled back a little when they broke for air. He kept his arms wrapped around Sebastian's torso and said, "Sweetie, things will be different here, but that doesn't mean that they have to be different in a bad way. We can't go watch the sunrise at the beach tomorrow morning, but we could go to Coney Island next weekend. I don't know if you've ever been, but I haven't. There are lots of magical things we can do here. Sitting and snuggling with you on our sofa is still one of the most amazing things to do with you. I still feel really special when you sit with me."

"I like sitting with you." He took a deep breath and kissed up Kurt's neck. "Can we make love before we go to the club?"

"I would definitely say yes, but you said that we were out of supplies."

He leaned in and whispered in Kurt's ear. "When I got up to go to the bathroom while we were waiting to board, I stopped by the drug store on the way back."

"Well, then yes, of course." He kissed Sebastian gently. "I'm not going to say no to you unless I have a good reason, like being sick or something."

Sebastian looked him in the eyes. "I don't want you to feel like you owe it to me or something."

"I don't feel that way, not at all." He kissed Sebastian again. "What I feel is very attracted to you. I also feel very desired by you." A new, most welcome feeling for him, but he didn't say that out loud.

"Well, that's true. I want you, like, all the time." He began kissing up Kurt's neck in between talking. "I just want you to know that I don't just want you for that. I want you for snuggles." _Kiss._ "And for our talks." _Kiss._ "And to cook with." _Kiss._ "And to sing and dance with." _Kiss._ "And go to the flea markets with. And antique stores." _Kiss._ "And bookstores. And music shops." _Kiss._ "And watching ridiculous movies. And good movies too." _Kiss._ "And kissing."

"Mmm hmm. Lots of kissing." Kurt moved and connected their lips again.

When they stopped to catch their breath, Sebastian pressed his forehead to Kurt's and asked, "You okay with finishing the unpacking while I go get ready?"

He ran his fingers through Sebastian's hair. "Yeah. Yeah, that's fine." He kissed Sebastian softly once more before letting go of him.

* * *

They were lying close, kissing lazily when Kurt's phone alarm went off.

"That's our cue to head to the shower."

"More kissing in the shower." Sebastian climbed over Kurt kissing him on his way across the bed. He held his hands out for Kurt.

"Always more kissing," Kurt teased, grabbing for Sebastian.

They horsed around kissing all the way into the shower. They washed each other's hair and couldn't keep their hands off each other.

* * *

"Just wear a hat of some sort," Sebastian suggested. "I need some food. You've worn me out after three times." He kissed along his neck.

"None of that right now, Mister." He stepped away from Sebastian, who had followed him into the closet. "As you just said, three times and we need to eat and get there on time or Santana will out and out say what we've been up to. She and her Mexican third eye, as she calls it, will blab to everyone why we're late. She might anyway if I wear a hat, but I think this one will look good with my outfit." He grabbed it and put it on. He turned Sebastian around and swatted him good-naturedly on the butt to get him moving forward since he was just standing there.

He jumped a little.

"You're not sore are you?"

"No, not at all. I was just thinking."

"Think and walk," Kurt teased as he pushed him forwards out of their closet. "Otherwise, we'll have to eat something after we get there and I'm too hungry for that. We ate lunch really early. Actually, it was a big brunch. Tasty, but that was eight hours ago." Kurt detoured from the path to the door to look in his full-length mirror. He turned both ways and decided that the hat did look good.

Sebastian walked up behind him and propped his chin on Kurt's shoulder. "You look hot. Let's go eat before I decide to see if we can both manage round four."

Kurt made eye contact with him in the mirror and winked. "Promises, promises," he teased. "I love you." He turned and kissed him. "Maybe when we get home." He stepped around Sebastian and took his hand. "Let's go eat. As he walked through the kitchen, he said, "At least we had the forethought to make bread and freeze it before we left. And we have enough soup for our lunches tomorrow in the freezer too. I moved them to the fridge after I finished unpacking." Kurt held the door open for Sebastian. After they were on the landing, he turned back to lock the door, and then took the electric cello bag and followed Sebastian down the stairs.

Seeing Kurt fooling with the lock and his keys jogged Sebastian's memory. "I love the keychain you made me. It's perfect for me, just like you."

"We'll I'm glad you think so – on both accounts."

"I know so." He took and squeezed Kurt's hand as they hit the landing. "I love you. You fooling with your keys made me think of the keychain you made me while working at JJ's. When you're released to work next week are you going to call him and see if you can go back?"

"I thought about on the flight back. I am going to call. I like working with Isabelle, but fixing cars is a trade that is more consistent than fashion and performing. I want to keep my skills up, but I'm going to see if he has room for me to work maybe six hours a week. I'd still make enough for groceries if I ever can't stay on at _Vogue_ and I can put what I make in savings for trips to Florida and wherever."

"I'm sure if Aunt Izzie has anything to do with it, you'll keep your job."

"She's not in charge of the Human Resources Department though."

"That's true, but she would never willing let them transfer you or let you go. She took me aside the first time we were in Florida and told me that I had chosen well."

Kurt laughed. "She was my fairy godmother when I came here. I've told you that. She made my life bearable and enjoyable. When she first hired me, she told me she hoped that I never lost my wide-eyed Lima optimism. And just a week later, I came in dead inside. She helped me through one of the worst times of my life."

"I'm glad she was there for you, that someone was there for you."

"Me too." Kurt pulled Sebastian around the corner. "Can you hear them calling our names?"

"What?" Sebastian looked lost.

"The tacos. Carnitas, chicken, and maybe even a fish taco. I'm starving."

"Sounds perfect." Sebastian chuckled. "Is that what sirens would lure you with? 'We have tacos – every kind.'"

"That might work if I'm this hungry, almost. But then, I'd remember what made me this hungry and I'd come to my senses and remember that I'm gay."

Sebastian burst out laughing. "Maybe there are male sirens to lure the gay sailors away."

Kurt pulled the door to Mercado sin Mancha open and let Sebastian walk through. "Somehow that just doesn't seem right." He stopped at the counter and ordered for both of them.

Sebastian stepped past him and picked up silverware and napkins and put them down on the table. He put his electric bass in the booth seat and went back and grabbed the electric cello from Kurt and took it to the table. Kurt joined him as soon as he grabbed their tray of tacos. They focused on eating and left as soon as they finished, dumping their trash in the recycling bins and leaving the tray on the rack on their way out.

"That hit the spot," Kurt said as they waited for the light to change to cross the street.

"It definitely did."

* * *

They were surprised to see Isabelle sitting with Santana and Dani when they got inside the club.

"Good evening, boys," she said as she stood up to hug both of them. "You're looking sun-kissed and relaxed. I take it that you enjoyed Florida with your parents."

"We did," Sebastian said.

"Jillian went on and on about what fun she had with you two and Marley while she was down there."

"We had fun with them too," Kurt said.

Chandler and Elliott sat down and joined them when they came in a few minutes later.

"Should I go put our names up?" Chandler asked. He looked around and saw everyone nodding, so he got up.

Kurt and Sebastian both followed him and put their names up individually. They looked at each other curiously. Sebastian winked at Kurt and kissed him chastely before they went back to their table.

Kurt sang the song he had sung for Sebastian in Florida, changing the lyrics slightly as Sebastian had requested. The crowd really got into the song and clapped when he finished. When Kurt sat down, Sebastian wrapped his arms around the back of Kurt's chair and rubbed circles into his shoulder with his thumb.

Sebastian had left a space between Kurt's name and his, so his name was up a few minutes later. Dani followed him up to the stage and picked up a guitar. Sebastian didn't introduce himself or the song. He just waited for Dani to play a short introduction and he began to sing.

_Talk.  
Let's have a conversation in the dark.  
World is sleeping. I'm awake with you.  
With you.  
Watch.  
Movies that we've both already seen.  
I'm not even looking at the screen. It's true.  
I've got my eyes on you._

_And you said that you're not worth it.  
You got hung up on your flaws.  
Well, in my eyes you are perfect  
As you are._

_I will never try to change you, change you.  
I will always want the same you, same you.  
Swear on everything I hold dear,  
That I won't break your heart.  
I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely.  
Keep the secrets that you told me, told me.  
And your love is all you owe me.  
And I won't break your heart._

_On,  
Sunday mornings we never sleep in.  
Even though I could sleep forever next to you.  
Next to you.  
We've,  
We've got places we both want to see.  
There's nothing I'd rather do,  
Than enjoy my day with you._

_When no one seems to notice,  
And your days, they seem so hard,  
Babe, you should know this:  
My love is everywhere you are._

_I will never try to change you, change you.  
I will always want the same you, same you.  
Swear on everything I hold dear,  
That I won't break your heart.  
I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely.  
Keep the secrets that you told me, told me.  
And your love is all you owe me.  
And I won't break your heart._

_And I won't break your heart._

Santana scooted down next to Kurt. "God, he's as sappy as he is sarcastic. He's _so_ in love with you."

"I know. I love him too."

She looked him over. "I see."

He knew that she knew. Her and her damn Mexican third eye. "No point in denying what you already know." He winked at her.

"So?"

"I don't kiss and tell," he said.

"Well, that's no fun. I admit that, if he hadn't been gay, I would have totally seduced him after our little duet. He's sexy as hell."

"Mmm hmm."

Sebastian slid in next to Kurt just in time to hear the very end of what Santana said. "Who?" Sebastian looked around to see who Santana was referring to.

Kurt turned and kissed him. "You, sweetie."

"O-kay…" He looked at Santana and glared with a raised eyebrow.

"Unfortunately, you caught that. It was supposed to be my guilty secret."

"What is?" Dani leaned in, eyes curious.

Sebastian answered, "That I'm quote 'Sexy as hell.'"

"That's not a secret, guilty or otherwise. Anyone with eyes can see that Sebastian's hot." She kissed Santana on the cheek and cackled because Sebastian was blushing even more. "Surely, you knew this. Santana said you were pretty full of yourself in high school."

"Overcompensation for lack of self-esteem, as well as covering over a broken heart and my crush. You know... I acted like I thought I was God's gift to the world while knowing deep inside that I was no one. I used my year in Paris to learn to portray myself as someone else, someone popular. My cousin Henri was popular. I rode his coattails. I had visited before during summer breaks and his friends automatically assumed that I was cool here, so my lack of being cool there was overlooked and attributed to not knowing how to be cool in Paris. Henri and his friends took me under their wings, taught me how to fit in there as much as possible, and made sure that everyone knew that I was part of the popular group."

"And you came back portraying yourself as having been 'all that' in Paris to give yourself an air of superiority," Kurt added.

"Yes. I wanted to be untouchable, above everyone on the social scale. So high up that no one would consider bullying me again. My parents have money. My dad has a high-level government job. I was cool in Paris. I put all of those things together and adopted a 'Why should I bother with the likes of low-life hicks from Ohio?' attitude. It was all really just a façade. I was at the bottom of the social heap before I left. I was bullied out of my high school, which is why I fled to Paris to start with."

Santana didn't say anything in response, clearly pondering the new information.

Kurt leaned into Sebastian and kissed him below his ear and said, "I loved your song. That one was new."

He nodded. "I wrote it when we were in Florida. Dani is amazing. I called her and sang it into her voicemail and she worked on the guitar part and sent me the recording. I practiced whenever I'd go make our breakfast and bring it back. That's why I closed the door so you wouldn't be able to hear me well enough to be able to tell what I was singing."

"I'd get up and brush my teeth and fiddle around in the bathroom with moisturizing and sing to myself, so I couldn't hear you at all. You're very sneaky. And according to Santana, you're as sappy as you are sarcastic. You caught the last part of her statement about being sexy too."

"Mmm hmm." He turned towards Kurt and pecked him on the lips.

Santana interrupted them and teasingly said, "You two are gross."

"We know," Kurt smarted back and pecked Sebastian on the lips. Kurt glanced back over Sebastian's shoulder when he opened his eyes. "Don't turn back and look, but Rachel is here."

Santana started to move.

"I said _don't_ turn back and look."

"She was hanging around outside my dressing room yesterday, but when I called her out on it, she said she was just wandering around 'centering' herself or some nonsense. I bet she overheard me talking to Dani. I had her on speaker when was I grabbing my stuff to leave to go to band practice last night. Five bucks says she followed me to NYU and spied on us."

"I'm going to get up and go sign up to sing again. And I'm going to swing around behind where she's sitting to see what she's up to."

Sebastian nodded.

Kurt managed to stay out of her direct field of vision and discovered that she was FaceTiming with Blaine. He made his way closer in an attempt to hear what they were saying.

"Blaine, I think you just need to give it up. I know that you want him back, but I'm 100% that's never going to happen."

He couldn't hear Blaine's response.

"Yes, of course, I'll flip the screen and let you see anything else they get up and perform. He looks happy with them."

He still couldn't hear Blaine.

"I get that. I do. I'm never going to get to be with the man that I thought was my soulmate."

Kurt walked away and made his way back to their table. He sat and held Sebastian's hand while he waited for his name to come up. When it did, he sat down at the keyboard and adjusted the mic.

_I don't hate you.  
No, I couldn't if I wanted to.  
I just hate all the hurt you put me through.  
And I blame myself for letting you.  
Did you know I already knew?_

_Couldn't even see you through the smoke.  
Looking back, I probably should have known.  
But I just wanted to believe that you'd  
keep sleeping alone._

_Loved me with your worst intentions.  
Didn't even stop to question,  
Every time you burned me down.  
Don't know how, but for a moment  
It felt like heaven._

_Loved me with your worst intentions.  
I painted us with a happy ending.  
Every time you burned me down.  
Don't know how for a moment,  
It felt like heaven._

_And it's so gut-wrenching,  
Falling in the wrong direction._

_How did you sweep me right off my feet?  
I can't keep falling in the wrong direction.  
When you tried again to sweep to sweep me off my feet,  
I couldn't keep falling in the wrong direction._

_On my tiptoes,  
But I still couldn't reach your ego.  
Guess I was crazy to give you my body, my mind.  
Don't know what I was thinking until now.  
Everyone thinks that you're somebody else.  
You even convinced yourself._

_Loved me with your worst intentions.  
I painted us with a happy ending.  
It was so gut-wrenching,  
Falling in the wrong direction._

_No more falling in the wrong direction._

The crowd clapped when he finished. He looked over towards the person whose name was up next and wordlessly asked to perform one more song. The girl nodded. Kurt started again.

_I walk into a crowded room.  
Everybody staring.  
What did I, what did I do wrong?  
What did I, what did I do wrong?_

_Oh, you see what you want to see,  
But you don't even know me.  
What did I, what did I do now?  
What did I, what did I do now?_

_He said, she said. Over it.  
You're acting like your brilliant,  
But you don't know,  
Yeah, you don't know._

_You don't know a thing at all.  
You don't know about the way I am,  
When I am all alone.  
You don't even know,  
The way I care, the way I've grown.  
You don't know about the way I love,  
So deeply to my bones.  
You don't even know me._

_Woah, woah.  
I walk it off and brush away,  
Everything you say,  
'Cause I don't care. I don't care.  
At all.  
I don't care. I don't care.  
At all._

_You don't even know me._  
Woah, woah.  
You don't even know me.

The crowd clapped again. Kurt stood and bowed just slightly and left the stage. He walked along the side of the room that the restrooms were on to avoid drawing attention to himself. He went into the men's room and washed his hands quickly. When he left, he headed towards Rachel, but from behind so that she couldn't see him easily. He turned his phone camera on and began to record. He approached quickly enough that she didn't have time to close the call.

"It's fine. Keep the camera on," he said to a startled Rachel. He pulled the chair at her table next to her and leaned in a bit. He continued to record. "Those last two songs were for the two of you. When I was really down and broken after Finn died, I took to putting my feelings into words and writing music. I wrote the first one about you, Blaine. It's one of the first ones I wrote. I wrote the second one about you, Rachel. Always gossiping. I'd walk into a classroom and people would look at me and I never knew what gossip had gone around that day." He pointed to Rachel's phone. "This spying on me, or whatever you want to call this, ends now. Blaine, you chose to cheat on me. We're through permanently. No possible reconciliation. Not even as friends. You've made that choice by not listening to me and disregarding my wishes. The phrase about me knowing better? That night at Scandals should have been the end. And Rachel? The day you told me that I should audition for the role of Fanny should have been the day I walked away. I've given you both far too many chances. And this is the end. This is a public place and I won't ask you to leave. But just know that I've recorded this and will keep it to show that I've repeatedly asked both of you to leave me alone."

"Kurt–" Blaine started out in his condescending, you-don't-really-mean-that tone of voice.

"No. I do mean it. I mean it absolutely. Leave me alone. I'm happy now. Just let me be happy. Go find someone new. Find a way to make yourself happy. See a counselor. Take up yoga. Whatever. But I will never be a part of your life willingly."

Rachel closed the FaceTime app. "I came here to show him that you weren't going to go back to him."

"You interfered in my life again. You should have refused to spy on me. I don't think it's possible for you to be friends with both of us right now. Maybe in time. But in my time, not yours."

"He's so bored in Ohio, Kurt. He has to go to college there for four years or his dad won't pay his tuition."

"His family's rules are not my problem, Rachel. Nor are they yours. If your dads had said, 'Ohio or we won't pay.' What would you have done?"

"Come here anyway and just start auditioning until I got a role. Probably worked someplace like the diner to pay for a tiny place. I belong here, Kurt."

"I get that. I do. I'm here too. Remember me selling the only thing of value I owned to come here after killing my audition and getting rejected and you choking yours and getting in anyway?"

She nodded.

"You were so thrilled to see me. You ran to me, hugging me like I was a lifeboat on the Titanic. I paid to fix the loft up for us. And then somehow, you lost sight of my being there for you when no one else was. How I made our place a home. You turned on me and went back to treating me like I was beneath you. You became a star and the worst diva version of yourself. I have made my way here despite you pushing me down and treating me as your accessory. Do you honestly ever remember how you told me that you missed me, and then turned around and saw me and nearly bowled me over with the hug you gave me? It hurts, Rachel. I was good to you. I loved you the only way I know how – with everything that I am. And you stepped on that over and over and over again."

She nodded. "I do remember. I was sitting on the edge of the fountain talking to you on the phone. You told me to turn around, and I saw you." A few tears slipped down her cheeks.

Kurt refused to let himself get drawn into her crying.

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

Refusing to speak to that Pandora's box question, Kurt took a deep breath before he continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian's "original" song is "Conversations in the Dark" by John Legend.  
> Kurt's first "original" song is "Wrong Directions" by Hailee Steinfeld.  
> His second "original" song is "You Don't Even Know Me" by Faouzia. He sings the stripped down version found on Spotify.


	50. Chapter 50

“If you want to stay and watch, I can’t prevent that, but please stop funneling information about me to Blaine. Think of him like you would if I were funneling information about you to Brody.”

She huffed. “Why would you do that? You know what he did to me.”

“Brody lied by omission. Blaine cheated on me and said that it was my fault.”

“He’s really sorry.”

“Rachel, stop. Regardless of whether you think I should take him back, he was my boyfriend, so it’s my decision not yours. It’s inappropriate for you to provide information about me to my ex when I don’t want you to. Think about it. He cheated on me 11 months ago.”

“But the wedding.”

“Was a huge mistake, as I mentioned the last time you brought it up. That night was just one more verse of the song about how he isn’t a man of his word. He said it was just a hookup. His exact words were ‘bros helping bros’. And afterwards, he said the completely opposite. He manipulated me into having sex with him. He said us being together on Valentine’s proved that we were meant to be together for every Valentine’s for the rest of our lives.”

“Finn said something very similar. It was really romantic. He said that no matter who I was with that he and I were endgame. He came to New York and confronted Brody.”

“Which was completely uncalled for and wrong of him and not romantic at all. It was controlling and creepy. If I had known he was here, I would have done everything in my power to prevent that. It wasn’t right at all. Brody never did anything to Finn. You weren’t Finn’s girlfriend. And you aren’t a piece of property for two men to physically fight for. You were with Brody in an _open_ relationship. Brody did not _cheat_ on you. Yes, he lied by omission about his job. He may have loved you or cared for you deeply, but he never promised to be faithful to you. And even if he had, it wasn’t Finn’s place to come swooping in like a vigilante. Despite what movies and TV show, what he did wasn't romantic or loving. Finn could have gone to jail for that if Brody had pressed charges. It was assault, pure and simple.”

Rachel was silent. 

“Like I was saying, that night after the wedding reception - that was willful deception. He said it was one thing, and then after the fact, he said that it was something else. It’s like being given $1000, and then after you spend it being told that it was a loan, not a gift. Willful deception.’”

“Fine. I get it. You’re not going to take him back.”

“I’m not. Ever. I love Sebastian. Actually, call Blaine back when I sing again. Maybe one last song will get it through his head.”

Kurt got up and put his name back on the list one last time. He sat down at the table. He pulled a song up on his phone and showed it to Sebastian. “Do you know this song?”

He nodded. “Do you want me to sing it with you?”

Kurt nodded. “With the karaoke machine.”

“Sure.”

“What is it?” Dani asked.

He showed her.

“Aww. That will be sweet.”

“I’m going to be sick, aren’t I?” Santana asked as she reached to turn the phone where she could see the screen. “I am.” She rolled her eyes, but winked at Kurt.

“You take the melody. I’ll sing the high harmony.”

Sebastian nodded.

Chandler spoke up and said, “I’m sorry to bail on what will surely be an epic duet, but I have a few things I still need to do tonight and an early class in the morning. I’ll reserve a room again for next Sunday and text everyone the room number as soon as I can.” He stood up.

Elliott joined him. “I need to get going too. I’ll see you all next Sunday. I’d love to help orchestrate those two new songs of yours, Kurt. I know they’re kind of downers and not at all like our other songs, but I think that’s good. Not everyone is looking for upbeat music all the time.”

“That would be amazing. Thanks. I saw Isabelle recording it. Why don’t you give her your email and she can send it to you and we can talk.”

They waved to Chandler as he left. Kurt’s name came up again while Elliott was putting his email into Isabelle’s phone. He waved towards the stage as he left afterwards.

Kurt and Sebastian sang “Truly, Madly, Deeply”. Kurt took Sebastian’s hand and interlaced their fingers as they sang through the ending.

 _I’ll be your dream._ _  
_ _I’ll be your wish._ _  
_ _I’ll be your fantasy._ _  
_ _I’ll be your hope._ _  
_ _I’ll be your love._ _  
_ _Be everything that you need._ _  
_ _I’ll love you more with every breath._ _  
_ _Truly, madly, deeply do._

When they finished, he turned and hugged Sebastian tightly before they left the stage. Sebastian followed Kurt to Rachel’s table. He stepped behind her and squatted to get to the right height to see her phone screen.

“Flip it back so he can see us instead of the stage, please.” Kurt requested.

She did as asked.

“It’s been nearly 11 months since you made a _choice_ , not a mistake, a _choice_ \- one that resulted in us breaking up. You manipulated my father into bringing you here for Christmas, which was very uncomfortable. And you willfully deceived me about the nature of the time we spent together when I was in Lima in February. You changed the _reason_ you gave me for the _choice_ you made at the picnic. And you never provided a signed copy of a document I requested before I would agree to return to dating you. You may have considered it a done deal, but without the requested document, there was no deal. You asked me to marry you, I turned you down. That’s the end. There is no more story to tell because there is no _us_ . There is you, who now attends college in Ohio. And there is me, who attends college in New York City. But there is no _us_.”

Sebastian spoke calmly. “Blaine, you screwed up. You didn’t treat someone amazing the way he deserved. That’s on you. He’s not an object to be won back. He’s not your soulmate. If he were, you would _not_ have cheated on him.”

Blaine tried to speak.

“No, stop. Actions have consequences. As Kurt said, you made a choice. Now, you have to live your life with the choices you’ve made. As Kurt mentioned, the two of you are not in any type of relationship. You need to live your own life and move on. Make a life for yourself where you are.”

“You liked me, not Kurt.”

“Wrong, but irrelevant. We’re both made it clear that we’re not interested in having any type of contact with you. You’re attending a world-renowned music school. Make the most of it. Become the best musician you can be.”

Kurt nodded. “He’s right, Blaine. Oberlin is a highly respected music school. You shouldn’t take Rachel’s absolutely one-in-a-million occurrence of getting a lead role on Broadway as anything that would happen to anyone _but_ her. There are people who graduate from top musical theater programs that never get lead roles. There are people, like Rachel, who get lead roles without a degree. Getting a role is based more on what the director is looking for, either in looks or in skills or a combination of the two. But being the best you can be will always make succeeding more likely. I meant what I said in the song I wrote. I don’t hate you. I don’t have it in me to hate. But you’ve tried my patience and I’m through. We split up almost a year ago. We’re not getting back together. Stop trying to interact with me, even by proxy. I wish you the best.” Kurt reached out and ended the call.

Kurt moved to the seat next to Rachel and faced her. “We’re through, Rachel. I love you. You know that. I had hoped that you would change, but you’re still so self-centered that you see Blaine and me as actors with side roles in _The Life and Times of Rachel Berry_. I’m officially bowing out. You can audition people for my role. If you ever get some help and stop treating the people who truly care about you like extras, I might reconsider being a part of your life, but not until then. And even then, I'll only return as an equal, not your 'best gay', which is a term you know I hate. I love and respect myself enough now to not let people keep hurting me.” He stood up.

Before he could walk away, she said, “You’re friends with Santana. She was terrible to you in high school.”

“Actually in high school, I wasn’t really on her bullying radar. And she went out of her way to find a way for me to come back to McKinley safely. And the important part is that she’s grown up and changed. I admit she’s done some crappy stuff since high school. That’s why I moved out of the loft, but she’s made changes since then. This is her final chance to be part of my life and she knows that.” He reached out for Sebastian and led him away from the table.

* * *

They sat back down together with Santana, Dani, and Isabelle.

“So, what was going on up there with Rachel?”

“She was FaceTiming with Blaine.”

“That wench!” Santana started to stand.

Dani put her hand on Santana’s shoulder and spoke quietly. “We like this place. If you cause a scene and get kicked out or banned, we will have to look for a new venue where we can perform.”

“Fine, but only because I like singing here.” She sat down.

“He ended their friendship,” Sebastian said.

“About damn time.”

“Santana, you know she can be fun and caring. She just can’t seem to move past her self-centeredness.”

Santana shrugged and looked at Sebastian. “Did you threaten him within an inch of his life?”

Sebastian answered her sternly. “No. Kurt’s not mine to control or speak for.”

Kurt said, “You’re the one who instigated Finn to come here and assault Brody. That was so wrong. Finn didn’t own Rachel. She wasn’t his property to defend like a stolen cow or something.”

Dani laughed.

“Brody was treating her wrong,” Santana defended herself.

“They were in an open relationship. If she didn’t want that, then she shouldn’t have agreed to it.”

“Being a prostitute is a lot different-”

Kurt cut her off. “Brody lied to Rachel. That’s it. It may have been a doozy of a lie, but he did not cheat on her. You were out of line to confront him publicly like you did.”

She didn't respond.

“Are things any better at the theater?"

“No, not really. She’s not winning friends and influencing people, at least not in a good way. She listens to instruction better than she would have in high school, but she still just carries herself with this air of superiority.”

“Pot calling the kettle black. You weren’t much different in high school. She rose to the top of the social ladder much later than you, but you _know_ that a lot of what you did and who you did in high school was to keep your social status.”

“Yeah.”

“She’s not even 19. She won’t be until December. She wasn't even 15 yet when Shelby had Jesse pull that crap.”

“I get it.”

“I don’t,” Dani said.

Sebastian was in the dark as well.

Kurt and Santana explained it quickly.

Dani said, “That’s seriously fucked up.”

“It was,” Kurt agreed.

“Shelby should be in jail,” Isabelle said.

Kurt nodded in agreement. “Shelby, Mr. Schue, April, and Sue Sylvester. We didn’t have the best adult role models.”

Kurt went on. “And Finn was a stupid teenage boy and cheated with her. And after they were together, he broke up with her once to go out with you and Brittany. You know how that went.” He glared at Santana.

“I was a bitch in high school.”

“And you didn’t have any friends you could trust back then either. Not even Brittany. I know you loved her then, but what she did with that video was truly terrible.”

“I know she wasn’t trying to hurt me, but I’ve had guys meow at me here in New York. I will never escape that.” She briefly explained it to Isabelle."

Kurt said, "What you did to Brody had the same effect. He doesn't have a rich family backing him to attend NYADA. He's persona non grata at NYADA now - the lowest of the low socially. He couldn't quit what he was doing and stay in school. Being a sex worker is his choice, not yours. You had no right to out him like that. He's going to face people slut-shaming him for a long time because people talk. I've told Rachel this before, but the gossip chain at NYADA is the most efficient part of the school. Everyone knows that he's an escort now. You were outed. And then you outed him. You know what that's like."

"I didn't think about it like that. I was trying to be a good friend to Rachel, to not let him get away with lying to her and potentially hurting her permanently by, like, giving her AIDS or something."

"Publicly humiliating him wasn't the way to achieve that. You could have come up with a discreet way, one that wouldn't have tarred and feathered him at school."

"You're right. I'll find him and apologize. Not that it will do any good because it can't be undone."

“It's the right thing to do though."

"Being decent sucks."

Sebastian laughed. "Been there, said that. It's easier to just lash out when we're hurt, but it being easier doesn't make it right."

"Yeah."

"And when I look back to that part of my life, it's not with fondness. Whether you believe me or not, once you stop, you will feel better about yourself."

"I know. It's just you lashed out for like, what? Three or four months? This has been my M.O. since I was 12. I'm 20. I'm trying."

"I know, Santana," Kurt said kindly. "That's what made me want to actually try again to be friends with you."

She nodded.

"Rachel’s done a lot of crappy things to me, more than you know. Seriously. But when Finn died, her world tilted on its axis. And she feels lost and adrift. She has no one now. And, while I know of all that, I can’t let her be a part of my life when she can’t respect my boundaries and wishes.” 

“Good for you. You were tougher than I was in high school. Completely BAMF, but after Dave, and then Blaine and Dalton, you lost your spine. I’m glad to see it’s finally regrown.”

“You’ve changed. I’ve changed. We're still changing. She has to see a reason to change. I can’t give her that reason. No one can. She has to decide that the way she’s living her life isn’t beneficial. I hope she figures it out before she crashes and burns because she’s incredibly talented.”

“That’s true. She's as talented as she is annoying.”

“Oh, on a completely different topic, Sam will be coming with us next Monday. He had some kind of floor meeting in his dorm tonight that was mandatory.”

“Oh, joy.” Her sarcasm made its return.

Kurt glared at her.

“Won’t he just report back to Gelmet? They were, like, best bros all last school year. I had the misfortune of hearing about it until Regionals.”

“After the proposal debacle, Sam apologized to me. I got him in the divorce. And you won’t call him what you did in high school or you’re out of the band. And call Blaine by his name.”

“Seriously.”

“Absolutely. Respect. The members of this band do not bully people.”

Santana rolled her eyes. “I don’t remember that being on the contact that I didn’t sign.”

“Feel free to quit. If you bully Sam, that’s the end. You were just supportive of me drawing a line with Rachel. You can’t have it both ways and be upset with I draw a line with you.”

“I hate it when you’re right.”

“I’m sure.” He pulled his phone out to check the time. “We need to get going.” He started to slide out of the booth. 

Isabelle said, “Wait five minutes and I'll have the car take you home.”

“You know you don’t have to do that,” Kurt said. “We can take the subway.”

“I pay the service by the hour. It doesn’t cost me any extra to have you dropped off.”

“Alright then.”

They all got up. Kurt and Sebastian grabbed the cello and bass. Santana held the door open as they all moved out to the sidewalk to wait for the car service.

Kurt turned to Dani. “We’re on for lunch on Thursday still, right?”

“Of course. I have a new song I'm going to show off."

"Ooh, I can't wait." He hugged her.

Once they had dropped Santana and Dani off, Isabelle said, “So, tell me why Sue Sylvester belongs in jail.”

“You’ve heard of her?”

“I’ll tell that story later. You first.”

“It would take longer than the car ride from her to our place to tell all of it, but first off, my junior year she bought a human cannon and was going to shoot Brittany out of it.” He went on until they got to Isabelle's place.

"You'll tell me the rest later," she said as she got out.

* * *

Kurt and Sebastian worked in silence to pack their bags for the first day of the semester and prep for the next morning.

Once they finished, Kurt turned around and leaned against the counter facing the blank wall in the kitchen. "Maybe tomorrow evening we can tape off the wall and paint the first part of the design we came up with. I can pick up a bunch of paint card samples when I go to get the painters tape and the string."

Sebastian stepped in front of him and wrapped his arms around him and kissed him. "Sounds good to me. The beginning of the semester will be a big change, but I'm sure that we'll have less work the first week than we will once things get rolling."

"That's what I was thinking." He took a deep breath as he leaned into Sebastian and let it out in a huff. "It's been a draining evening. Cutting her out of my life wasn't what I wanted. I do love her."

"I know. She knows. She also knows how she can change the situation."

"Yeah. It's just hard. It's hard to let go of something I've put so much of myself into, but it's time. At least for now. She needs to figure herself out. I know she was holding on to her friendship with Blaine because she's really lonely here and he's lonely there. They are so much alike. If he were bi, they'd either be the perfect couple or they'd drive each other insane."

"I can see both too. They'd either create the most obnoxious self-aggrandizing echo chamber where they would just feed off each other's constant repetitions of how great the other is. Or they'd never listen to each other and they'd both get mad that they weren't being paid attention to."

"Enough about them. I'm going to do my best to make myself a part of my new school. There won't be anyone there that I will feel obligated to defer to out of loyalty."

"I'm going to actually try to do the same. Are you ready to shower now?"

Kurt straightened back up and kissed Sebastian. "Mmm hmm."

* * *

Kurt lay wrapped around Sebastian, snuggled up tight with his head on Sebastian's chest. "I want to thank you for not go all Hulk on Blaine and for being calm and just backing up what I said."

"You don't need to thank me for that, but that's what I'll always do. You're your own person. If you had wanted to give Rachel her 367th chance tonight, I would have supported you."

Kurt chuckled.

"I would have also encouraged you to continue to stand up for yourself when she inevitably crossed the line again. Apologizing only means something if the person actually quits doing the thing they apologized for. She hasn't learned that yet, as evidenced by her saying that Blaine was really sorry. It's as if she believes that an apology erases the act that was hurtful."

"I'm pretty sure that she does, at least if she's the one apologizing. Or Blaine, I guess. She just needs to get some help, but that can't be from me anymore. Oh, I got an email back from my counselor. I can pay $25 per session and continue to go there for up to two months. They have some kind of transitioning program when people graduate so that people don't go without counseling, so that at least gives me a little time to see if I like any of the people available at CCNY."

"That's good news." He kissed the top of Kurt's head. "I know it's been helping."

"It has. You've helped more than you know though. It's one thing to hear that friends behave in certain ways. And that I can make boundaries within relationships. But I had never experienced that with anyone. Here's a story you haven't heard. Sophomore year, I met Mercedes in Glee Club. She developed a crush on me that was encouraged by the unholy trinity."

"Unholy trinity?"

"Quinn, Santana, and Brittany."

"I don't get the moniker, but go on."

"They encouraged Mercedes to think that the platonic shopping dates and movie nights at her house were real dates. I hadn't come out at the time, so when she asked me to make our relationship official, I was confused and I panicked. I told her that I had had a crush on Rachel for years."

Sebastian chortled. "Oh, my God. That's priceless. How old were you?"

"16. Anyway, she decided that her unrequited crush would be satisfied by throwing a brick through the front window of my Navigator. I paid to replace it myself. I never told my dad what really happened. It was my very first foray into friendship, and I just let her get away with it. I replaced the window and went on like nothing happened. She was the first person I came out to - that same week. I've been letting people that I considered friends walk all over me ever since I started making friends. When I came here after the proposal, I pulled in on myself. I pushed everyone away. But you stuck with me. You showed me that friends could respect boundaries and that they could be trustworthy. That was huge for me. I know I've thanked you before for being there for me, but I'm not sure that you ever really understood how significant it was for me." He scooted up and ran his hand through Sebastian's hair and gently turned his face so that he could kiss him. "I love you, Sebastian. With everything that I am."

Sebastian kissed him back with just as much passion. He rolled them so that Kurt was on top and kissed him again. "We worked for this, for what we have. Both of us. And you mean everything to me. I love you so much." 

Kurt slipped his forearms under Sebastian's shoulders so he could prop himself up and continue the kissing. Kurt knew how late it was and that it would make them both tired in the morning, so he pulled back a bit. "It's late. Do you want to keep going the way this is heading or do you want to stop and try to sleep?"

Sebastian raised his head just enough to press his lips to Kurt's again.

Kurt smiled and began kissing down Sebastian's neck. "So, no to the sleeping." 


	51. Chapter 51

Saturday morning, Kurt opened the door to let Sam in. He hugged Kurt as soon as he stepped through the door. When he let go, he put his backpack down and stepped into the kitchen. “That’s coming along nicely.”

Sebastian came around the end of the wall, and started opening the can of pan he was going to start with.

“Thanks,” Kurt said. 

Sam nodded. “Hey.”

Sebastian nodded in return.

“Are you ready to help us work on more of it?” Kurt asked.

“Yep. It’s hard to believe that I’m going to start to get to go to art shows. I bet the one you went to where you saw Dana Gordon’s work was awesome.”

“It really was. When we were first talking about painting this wall, we talked about doing something Art Deco inspired, but when we really looked at a lot of the things we liked, we knew that we didn’t have the skill to do it at all, but then I remembered going to the exhibit at the Sideshow Gallery in Brooklyn. Honestly, I had kind of forgotten about it because I went right before I went back to Lima for spring break. I had seen a flyer for it at NYADA and snapped a photo of it a few weeks before it opened and I had forgotten about it, but I left the loft when Rachel and Santana got into it early on a Saturday morning. I was sitting in the park looking through photos on my phone to see if there were any that might be good to send to my dad and I saw the photo of the flyer that I had taken. I left the park to go see the exhibit. It was really cool. The paintings were huge. I still had the photo of the flyer, so we looked the artist up and did our own variation on his style.”

Sebastian said, “We painted Wednesday night, so we were able to move the tape and start on the second half of the single-colored squares. We think we can finish the rest of the single-colored squares before lunch and then tackle the 2-colored squares later this afternoon.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“We used a pencil to lightly write the numbers in the squares. You can use that eraser over there right before you paint a square. We have the printout that is our map over next to the eraser.”

“Got it.”

Kurt and Sam grabbed a different color of paint and got started painting the squares.

After about 20 minutes of painting, Kurt left Sebastian and Sam to continue to paint while he worked on the quilt in their room. He wanted to work on the quilt, but his actual ulterior motive was to give Sebastian and Sam time to get to know each other without feeling like Kurt was there to mediate.

X-X-X-X-X

They worked in silence for about ten minutes before Sam spoke. “I know he’s left us out here so we can work through whatever issues we have with each other on our own.”

“I’m sure. I’ll just go first. You and Blaine turning us all in for taking drugs caused a lot of us a lot of problems that could have been avoided by going to the school, so that the school could have handled the issue rather than the Show Choir Board. I do understand that you wanted to continue to compete. Kurt explained it to me – about the club being disbanded for the year if you didn’t win. But in all honesty, the New Directions had been disqualified, so the Menonite choir should have been sent on to Regionals. And if they couldn’t travel that far, then the spot should have just been left empty. You wanted the rules to apply to us, but not to you. It came across as very self-serving. It’s like pointing out that the kid across the room has a crib sheet up his sleeve, and then using the time the teacher is focused on that to copy off of the kid sitting next to you so that you end up with an A on a test.”

“You’re right. None of us considered that. It’s hard to explain. Most everyone tried joining something else after Glee Club was disbanded, but we were all unhappy. I’m not saying that we were justified.” He grabbed a different color paint and went back to painting.

“Go on. I would like to understand, even if you’re not offering the explanation as an excuse.”

“I was so lonely. I should have graduated with Kurt, but due to a lot of things I won’t go into that weren’t my fault, obviously I didn’t. I stupidly trusted the adults who were supposed to be guiding me, but I didn’t check into things. That’s on me. My parents agreed to let me go to Lima in November of Kurt’s senior year to finish out the year and graduate with my friends. I hated the school I went to in Kentucky. I went back to Lima. I lived with Kurt’s family. When I didn’t graduate, my choices were to go back to Kentucky where I hated it or stay at McKinley for another year. I went back to Kentucky for the summer. It was super hard to be there. I felt like such a loser. If I had just stayed there, I would have graduated. It would have been like six more months of hating it, but it would have been over and done. I was 18 by then and after a lot of consideration, I went back to Lima to start a second senior year. I didn’t want to go to a fourth high school and I didn’t want to spend a whole school year in Kentucky. Since Kurt didn’t get into NYADA, I thought he’d be in Lima all year, working at the shop, saving up, and reapplying to schools. But then like three weeks into th Kurt left, I was home alone a lot of the time. Carole went with Burt to DC a lot. Finn was just gone until October. And when he came back, he started to run Glee Club and that change in status – from teammate to leader put a distance between us, and he and I weren’t super close to start with. Kurt was gone. Everyone I was friends with had graduated. And losing Glee Club just made me no one. I wasn’t in any classes with Tina and Artie, or anyone I really knew. Football season was over. And losing Glee Club just made me no one. And I didn’t really want to rejoin the synchronized swimming team because that didn’t help anything the year before.”

Sebastian chuckled. “I didn’t even know there were high school synchronized swimming teams.”

“Yeah, me neither until I was told it was the only sport that had openings when I went back to LIma the first time. Anyway, there are no reasons that justify us getting the Warblers that hadn’t taken the steroids in trouble. I would love to say that if I were in the same position that I would make a different choice, but that would by lying. It was selfish. At the time, I admit that I was focused on my unhappiness and the unhappiness of my friends. I wasn’t thinking about anyone outside that small group. I can’t make it up to you and I can’t truly say that I’m sorry because apologizing means that I wouldn’t do it again. And I can’t say that because that would be a lie. In hindsight, if I knew then what I know now, I would do a lot of things differently. But with what I knew then and how I was feeling, I know I would do it all over again. When Mr. Schue reported you for hurting Blaine, nothing happened. Blaine said if we went to the school, nothing would happen again. You may not know, but I’m really into health stuff, exercising, eating healthy, not doing things like smoking and taking drugs. And I really did feel bad for the Warblers that were being pressured into taking drugs. That could have really hurt them.”

“I get it, Sam. I do. I made stupid choices too. You at least made choices based on some people’s well-being, both the Warblers that were taking drugs and the New Directions who lost their ability to compete because of helping their teammate that passed out on stage.” He turned and looked at Sam. “That was an absolutely stupid rule. If people leave for a medical reason, they should be able to choose whether to start again without the person or let their performance to the point of the problem be judged as their full set list. You absolutely should have gone to Marley. You all did the right thing and were punished for it. I did the wrong thing - and to your knowledge I faced no consequences for my actions. I can see why you would have felt it would be useless to go to the school again.”

They changed colors of paint and went back to painting in the squares in silence for a few minutes.

Sebastian broke the silence. “I think you probably know, but in case you don’t, Marley is my cousin’s Jillian’s best friend now. They met in Columbus at the beginning of the summer and became fast friends.”

“I did know. Kurt told me. And I’m glad for her. The end of the year was really rough for her. Jake was awful. Mr. Schue was awful. I was awful. We all were.”

“Wait. Were you somehow part of her getting in trouble for not wearing a bikini when she has an eating disorder?”

“Yeah. I was a screwed up mess. It was absolutely awful. I need to talk to her too. She was really mature about it.”

“You should. I’d suggest leaving the eating disorder part of it out, but it was really sexist. I’d go with that as your lead.” 

Sam nodded. “Sue rounded up the returning New Directions after graduation and told them that they no longer attended McKinley. I have no idea how she did it. Unique went back to Akron to live with her parents. She had been living with her aunt and uncle to be able to go to McKinley. I knew Marley had moved to Columbus. The others told me where they had been transferred to, but I don’t remember. And what did you mean ‘to my knowledge’ about you getting punished?”

“Oh, that you were right that nothing happened last year, but we got a new headmaster this year and Hunter’s parting  _ gift _ to me was to tell him about the slushie incident. I was confined to campus for six weeks and my father made me get a job to repay the Andersons for Blaine’s medical bills. Going to work was the only time I could leave for six weeks.”

“I guess that’s reasonable, but I still have a hard time understanding why Kurt is with you. The two of you weren’t exactly friendly.”

“And I’m not quite sure why he accepted your simple apology for being an ass of a best friend for most of the school year. Why would anyone’s best friend think that getting back together with someone who cheated on said best friend would be a good idea. Why did you become the cheater’s bestie, as Kurt called you? You turned on Kurt. He was never anything but amazing to you from what I’ve heard.”

“I’m sure Kurt didn’t tell you that. He never really says much of anything nice about himself.”

“Santana. We’re friends now.”

Sam quit painting. “Wait. What? And you think I might be trying to mess with Kurt by apologizing and trying to be a decent person again?”

“Well, Santana and I have worked through our issues. She’s still on Kurt’s short list of people from Lima that he’s let back into his life after Finn died.”

“Me, Santana, and?”

“Marley, well she doesn’t count I guess since she never did anything to hurt him. Unique came back when Rachel had her Fourth of July party, but I haven’t really heard him talk about her since then. Oh, and Brittany, but again, I don’t think either of them ever did anything to hurt Kurt either.”

Sam sighed. “Brittany did actually. Senior year. She ran for class president against him. She promised things like going topless and protecting the school from tornadoes, and she handed out those giant Pixie Stix to anyone who would agree to vote for her.”

“Oh.”

“Rachel stuffed the ballot box with ballots with his name marked and he was accused of cheating. Even after Rachel confessed, Principal Figgins wouldn’t redo the election. Brittany ended up as class president. I still miss her. I know it’s been, like five months, but–.” He paused. “She left for MIT five months ago. Seeing her at Rachel’s party was hard.”

“I didn’t know that you two were close.”

“We were both so alone. Santana broke up with her the same week that Blaine came here – back in early October. She and I started dating after that – after Sectionals actually. I fell in love with her. I know we only dated for about four months, so it’s dumb that I’m still hung up on her five months later, but here I am anyway. I need to move on. I’m not pining for her, like planning to try to get her back. I don’t think she and I are endgame or anything. She was easy and fun to date, not like Quinn or Santana. Mercedes was sweet, but she wants to be a solo headliner, touring the country like Beyonce or Taylor Swift. I don’t want that lifestyle. I like to just chill out way too much to live on a tour bus and in hotels most of the time.”

“I wouldn’t like that either. I love to travel, but that type of travel doesn’t really leave you time to see much or relax. I didn’t know you had dated Santana.”

“I think that’s probably an exaggerated use of the word. Santana was insistent. And she’s really hard to say no to.”

“She didn’t…?”

“Oh, no. I wasn’t ready back then and I just told her no. I was willing to go along with her charade, but only because I was already near rock bottom. It was easier to go along with her than to deal with her if she didn’t get what she wanted. You obviously know that she’s gay, and by then, she wasn’t really putting any actual effort into getting me to have sex with her. Anyway, Britt was just fun and easygoing. She laughed at my jokes and liked my impressions. She was like this reminder that I was young and life was supposed to be fun. That’s why I was in Lima – to be a teenager for just a little longer. That’s part of what contributed to the absolute stupidity of last school year. I just wanted to have fun. I was only a few credits short of graduating and they were mostly ones I took in the fall. When I came back after living in Kentucky the first time, I didn’t transfer back until November. I failed a few classes that fall. It was stupid. If I had told Kurt I was struggling, I know he would have helped me, but thought I had it under control. But at the last minute, it was decided that I had to take the same final exams as everyone else.”

“That seems unreasonable.”

‘I thought so too, but arguing with the teachers there is impossible and I didn’t want to bother Carole to get her to come to talk to Principal Figgins. I figured that since Carole isn’t my mom that he wouldn’t listen anyway. I thought I could just retake the classes in the spring and still graduate, but then I was told that the classes I had failed were only offered in the fall. I ended up taking three arts classes this past spring because I passed my senior classes the spring before since I had started the semester with everyone else.”

Kurt stepped around the corner. “Oh, Sam. I wish you had told me. I would have helped you.”

“I know. But honestly, Kurt, I was 17. No offense, but I didn’t want any more help. I was relying on the generosity of your parents to have a place to live. You might have missed the part where I said the decision was made last-minute. You could have pulled out every trick you could think of and it wouldn’t have helped. There was no way I could learn nearly three months worth of stuff in two weeks, which was when they informed me – two weeks before finals. Not long after Sectionals. You know I’m dyslexic. I read super slow. I could never have read everything from the whole semester in two weeks. And like I said, I thought I could retake them in the spring if I didn’t pass. I did take Government again in the spring, but the other two I couldn’t.”

Kurt just nodded, feeling really bad about how dirty McKinley had done a lot of them. “The wall’s looking good.”

“Thanks,” Sam said. “Look, I feel really bad about just dropping our friendship. I can’t make that up to you, but I can make sure to never do it again. I’m sure you heard the part where I said that I just wanted to have fun. Junior year was so awful. New school. Quinn cheating. My parents losing the house. Living in the motel. Making new friends, only to have to move to Kentucky. My gig as an exotic dancer. I decided that If I was being forced to be a senior a second time, I should have as much fun as possible. Blaine was at rock bottom too.

Kurt held his tongue to point out that Blaine’s situation was of his own making.

“So was Tina after Mike broke up with her. We formed this little clique. And when I was dating Brittany, it was so much less depressing every day. I just got lost in the ridiculousness of it all. It helped me put one foot in front of the other. It was all just an elaborate way to distract myself. I also actually thought that if Blaine was busy being ridiculous with me that he would have less time to bother you. When he started being crazy and fun, I lost sight of what an ass Blaine had been to me the year before. He was into superheroes, Stars Wars, and D&D. It wasn’t until you and I started talking again after Regionals that I realized that he had never been into any of that stuff before last fall. We were all sorts of messed up. I’ve come to my senses, but in my wake, there’s a trail of destruction. You two are amongst the casualties. I’m hoping I can prove that I’m not that guy anymore. That I can gradually earn your trust again, Kurt. And yours too, Sebastian, even though I’m sure it’s unlikely. And I wouldn’t blame you.”

“You’re here now,” Kurt said. “Let’s just start from a clean slate. As you said, nothing is gained by continually apologizing or by self-recrimination. So, understanding usually comes from knowledge and experience and in this case, the two of you don’t know each other at all.”

Sebastian sighed. “I think Kurt has a point. We both hurt him and he’s forgiven both of us. But you and I don’t know each other. How about we give each other a 5-minute summary about ourselves? I’ll go first.” Sebastian gave Sam a brief rundown about his life, focusing in on his sophomore year, going to France, and then Dalton, including having to repeat his junior year.

Sam went next and briefly talked about Tennessee, his family, and his foray into exotic dancing since those were things he hadn’t already talked about. 

When Sam finished, Sebastian asked him, “Given what you just said, how did you even end up applying for college here?”

“It wasn’t me. I mean I didn’t think of it. Coach Beiste approached me in the locker room when I was working out during the time we would have normally been rehearsing. She asked me what my plans were for after graduation. I didn’t have a plan. I figured I’d end up going back to Kentucky and start stripping again. I didn’t say that though. I just shrugged. She asked me what I liked to do in my free time besides work out and I showed her the sketch book I had in my bag. We spent some time talking. I went back the next afternoon and talked to her again. She helped me look for schools that might be willing to overlook my terrible SAT scores and barely average GPA in New York City, which was where it seemed that most everyone was going.“ He shrugged. “We found the scholarship when we were looking through Hunter College’s website’s financial aid page. She helped me fill out the forms and looked over my essay. I figured it was a million-to-one shot, but why not? The scholarship was going to go to someone. Why not me? It didn’t cost anything to apply, so I did. I figured that she and my art teacher must have written some humdinger reference letters.”

Kurt rolled his eyes, “While that may be true, the school would not have given you the scholarship if they didn’t think you had the skill, talent, and perseverance to work hard and succeed.” He sighed thinking back. “I’m sure Mr. Schue’s letter didn’t extol my talents or praise my work ethic.” He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now. You’re here. You’ve got your chance.”

“That I do.” He grabbed another color. “So, I’ve heard that you, unlike Blaine, actually have a lifelong interest in superheroes.”

“That’s true. And I like sci fi, but I confess that I have never played D&D.”

“Two out of three isn’t bad,” Sam teased. “To be honest, I had played a few times back my freshman year at the all-boys school I went to, but it was Blaine who convinced me to join the D&D Club. My lack of skill prevented me from realizing that he didn’t have any experience. He was just really good at reading the books and remembering what he read, which made him really knowledgeable and better at it than me because those books are complicated to read and I had actual schoolwork to do in the fall that was more important than memorizing complex spell-casting rules. I dropped out of the club after Regionals anyway. I took on more hours to start saving in case I did get into school here.”

Kurt looked at the wall. “I think that’s it. I think we’ve gotten all of the solid-colored squares painted. Who’s ready for lunch and grocery shopping?”

“Sure,” Sam said. “I could eat.” He rinsed the paint brush he had been using and then washed his hands. “Oh, before I forget. I brought Finn’s PS3 with me. When I moved out in June, Carole let me take it and the games with me. But I don’t own a TV. And if I did, I wouldn’t put a gaming system in my dorm room. I thought maybe you might be willing to keep it here, and once in a while we could play.”

“Sure. We’ve got room in the lower section of the large wood unit in the living room. We can keep it in there.” Kurt washed his paintbrush and hands when Sam stepped away from the sink.

“Great. Mind if I put it there now? That way I can use my bag to buy some snacks to take back with me to my dorm later.”

“That’s fine.” Kurt dried his hands. “You’ll need to help me move the sectional a little in order to slide the doors open.

A few minutes later, everything was back in place. While they were working, Sebastian had capped the paints and pulled their shopping bags out.

* * *

Two and a half hours later, they returned with their bags full of groceries. Once they had put them all away, they tested the square they had painted that morning and they seemed dry enough to move on to the next stage. They used the paints they had been using, but mixed them together to make new colors and used them to paint the curved portions that divided the 2-colored squares. They all had steady hands, which helped tremendously. Sebastian sat down on the floor and worked on the lower third. Kurt took the middle third. Sam used their step stool to do the top third. They each worked on a third of the wall vertically and changed positions until they had finished the whole wall.

Kurt cleaned the brushes while the other two packed up the paint. He turned around once he’d finished. “I really like it.”

“Me too,” Sebastian said. “It’s really colorful and livens up the space a lot. This area was far too narrow to ever use the space for storage. I think this a perfect use of the space. I actually think it would be fun to do the alcove wall between the bedrooms too. We put that coat rack on the wall, so we can’t hang any artwork there easily.”

“We can think of a design. We have enough paint left to do that wall easily. It’s a good idea. It would make an interesting focal point. And it’s a small space. We could probably get it done tonight and tomorrow.” He went to grab a sketch pad and sat down at the table. He gave Sam and Sebastian a piece of paper and a pencil.”

A few minutes later, Sebastian said, “Circles.”

“Okay,” Kurt said. “Circles in what way?”

“Well, I’m looking at the coat rack. In here we did squares. What if we did something with the rectangles and then added circles somehow?”

“That wall is four feet across.” He got up and returned with a sheet of grid paper. “This is how we did this wall.” He drew the area to scale. 

The three of them continued to work on it. Once they had settled on a pattern, they taped off the area and painted the first layers.

* * *

Later that night, after Sam had gone back to his dorm, Kurt and Sebastian were snuggled up on the couch with Kurt running his fingers through Sebastian’s still-damp hair, only half-watching the movie that was playing. Kurt had avoided the topic since Sam left, but he reached over and turned the volume down even lower. “So?”

“So, I appreciate that he told the truth. He didn’t make excuses. He seems like he genuinely wants to move on and put the past behind him and not make the same kinds of self-centered choices. That’s really all we can ask of people who are our age, right? I mean it’s not like he was 35 when he was doing that stuff. I made bad choices. You said you made choices that you wish you hadn’t. I’m willing to let it slide. But if it becomes clear that he’s more like Rachel who never changed, I have the right to stop being friends with him and so do you. Only time will tell.”

They stayed cuddled up in comfortable silence for a while, with the only movement being Kurt running his fingers through Sebastian’s hair and massaging his head.

Kurt broke the silence. “I think both walls look really good. Since we’re going to finish painting the alcove in the morning, by the time we get back from going to the flea markets and meeting up with Isabelle, it should be dry.”

Sebastian didn’t respond.

Kurt looked down and saw that Sebastian’s eyes were closed. He kissed him on the top of the head. “Sweetie, we need to go get in bed, if you’re ready to sleep.”

“Hmm? Oh. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. You’re comfy.” He stretched and sat up. “You can pet me in bed.”

Kurt just smiled at his sleepy words. He stood up, wrapped his arms around Sebastian, and kissed him gently. “You seem pretty certain that I’ll keep petting you.”

“I am.”

“Turn around and walk to our room, you sassy sleepyhead.”

Before he moved, he kissed Kurt on the forehead. “But I’m your sassy sleepyhead.”

“You are.” He kissed him. “Go on. I’ll be right there. I’m going to turn everything off.”


	52. Chapter 52

A little over a week later on Sunday morning, Kurt woke up before the sunrise. He kissed Sebastian on the neck where he could just barely reach from the way he was lying on him. He spoke quietly. "Hey, Bas?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Remember when you came to visit and you took me to the waterfall in Central Park?"

"Of course," He stretched a bit and kissed the top of Kurt's head.

"Can we go now? If we get dressed quickly, we can get there and watch the sunrise again."

"Sure." He stretched again and smiled.

* * *

They sat where they had when they had gone in the spring. This time rather than sitting side by side, Kurt sat in front of Sebastian and leaned back into his chest. Sebastian took the opportunity to wrap his arms around Kurt and kiss along his neck.

"It meant a lot to me that you came with me that day. I was still so torn up inside, we walked and sat in silence, but it was this really comforting silence. You weren't expecting anything from me. I could just not be alone for a while."

"You already had a plethora of things making demands of your time. The fact that you chose to spend some of your extremely limited time with me meant a lot to me."

"I was a hamster on a wheel back then. Things were hectic last week too. I love Fashion Week. I really do, but this is perfect. I had so much schoolwork to do to catch up after eight days of total fashion that I’m just now able to breath again. As weird as it sounds, I'm looking forward to sitting down tonight after rehearsal and making a schedule. I just think more clearly when I have a schedule to look at."

"Can we make a combined one too? Rather than having mine and a copy of yours, I think I'd rather have mine and a copy of our combined schedules."

"Sure." He put his arms over Sebastian's and interlaced their fingers. "When you came to visit, it was the first time in a really long time that I started to believe that someone would enjoy my company when I wasn't doing something for them."

"Well, I definitely enjoy your company."

Kurt closed his eyes and focused in on his other senses. He could feel Sebastian's soft lips pressing against his neck gently, so lightly that it almost tickled, yet was completely relaxing. Birds chirped happily and noisily in the trees. The juxtaposition of the ultimate urban environment that typically clashed with the nature that reigned in Central Park hadn't yet started in earnest so early on a Sunday morning. Nature was still winning. He left his eyes closed and focused on breathing mindfully, filling his lungs as he inhaled deeply through his nose, followed by exhaling slowly through his mouth.

He let his mind wander. As of the previous Monday, they had been together three months Three months together. Three months and he had never once felt undesired. He had had flashes of feeling like he was too much or not enough numerous times, but Sebastian had doused those ideas like a fireman's hose on a campfire. Being with Sebastian was different than anything he'd ever contemplated or experienced. He was wicked smart and funny. They still sparred verbally, but it always ended in one of them winning the battle by kissing and tickling the other into surrendering. Sebastian was often the instigator still, but it was all done in love. Thinking about it gave Kurt an idea.

While Kurt had been in his head wandering around, Sebastian was focused purely on the physical contact between the two of them. Every nerve was on edge and firing rapidly at every contact point. Their bodies close together produced a warmth that made the cool, moist, pre-dawn September air seem chillier, causing Sebastian to shiver.

Kurt turned just enough to kiss Sebastian. "Are you cold, sweetie?" He leaned forward enough to slip his jacket off and hand it to Sebastian. "You sacrificed your waterproof windbreaker to keep our butts dry. You wear it for now. I'm leaning against you, so I'm warm. I'll put it back on when we get up and you can put yours back on."

Rather than pretend to be okay, Sebastian took the jacket and put it on. "Thank you." His tone swiftly changed to flirting. "It's just because you're so hot pressed up against me like this." He wrapped his arms back around Kurt.

The sun was peeking up over the horizon as they got comfortable again.

Kurt relaxed back against Sebastian. "Thanks for coming with me."

"Coming with you is one of my favorite things." He pressed his lips back to Kurt's neck and licked along the edge of Kurt's ear.

"Bas!" Kurt said, as if scandalized.

"Yeah, babe?" Sebastian responded, sounding as innocent as possible, while not letting up on the kissing.

"I love you."

"Mmm… I love you too."

"You can come with me all afternoon."

"Oh, really? Wherever you're going, I'm in."

"I'm pretty sure that I'm the one that will be in."

"Kurt!" Sebastian was silently laughing too hard to say anything else at that point.

"Yes, sweetie?"

He propped his forehead on Kurt's shoulder and tried to get himself under control. "I'm definitely up for you being in."

"Already?"

Sebastian started laughing harder again. "Oh, God, stop."

"Usually it's, 'Oh, God, don't stop." Kurt continued to tease.

Sebastian was laughing so hard that he had to force himself to take a deep breath several times. Once he could talk again, he said, "Maybe we should take this conversation to the waterfall."

"Mmm. I accept your offer to make out with me by the waterfall."

Sebastian squeezed Kurt a bit before standing up. He pulled Kurt to standing, took Kurt's jacket off and offered it to him. He picked his up and shook it off before he put it back on. "Who said anything about making out?"

Kurt stepped closer and looked down very obviously and smirked. "I'm pretty sure you don't have a banana in your pocket."

Sebastian started laughing again. He stepped closer and kissed Kurt. "No banana. Definitely no banana."

* * *

Kurt led them over to the rock he had sat on the last time they had been there, but this time he kept hold of Sebastian’s hand and they sat together. They hadn’t seen anyone else on the walk back, so Kurt scooted closer to Sebastian and put his hand on Sebastian’s thigh and ran his fingers along his leg drawing patterns.

There was a slight breeze, causing the leaves to move arrhythmically. The sun seeped through the nascent color-changing leaves, some crimson and some gold here and there dotting the greenery everywhere. The water cascaded, trickled, and dripped, splashing into the surface of the water below creating a serene, yet interestingly unique sound. 

Kurt took a deep breath and closed his eyes and listened to the sounds the water made. Sebastian scooted a little closer and wrapped his arm around Kurt’s waist. He looked all around the area, noting six different types of birds in a matter of minutes, as well as several squirrels, two of which were chasing each other, and even a raccoon that was watching both the squirrels and the two of them.

“Babe,” he said almost silently. “Open your eyes and look up to the right just a bit.”

Kurt looked, “A raccoon. They’re the cutest nuisances.” After he watched it for a few minutes, he said, “He’s watching us and those noisy squirrels. He’s adorable.” After the raccoon climbed higher and out of view, Kurt closed his eyes again.

Sebastian stared at him this time instead of looking around more.

It didn’t take long for Kurt to notice. “You’re staring at me.”

“How can I not? You’re beautiful. And so sexy.”

Kurt opened his eyes and turned. He locked eyes with Sebastian and smiled. “And you are gorgeous and brilliant. And I love you.” He leaned towards Sebastian and kissed him.

Sebastian realized that it had been a while since Kurt had deflected his compliments, which made him smile. He reached out and cupped Kurt’s face one-handed and kissed him. “I love you too.”

Kurt smiled and pressed his forehead to Sebastian’s. “It’s so relaxing here. I wonder if we download a waterfall track if that would help me on nights that I struggle to sleep.”

“We’ll find one today and try it tonight.”

“It won’t bother you, will it?”

“Not at all. If it helps you sleep, I’m all for it. You mentioned plans for this afternoon. I didn’t know we had any. Is it a surprise?”

“Plans?”

“Yeah, you said I could tag along, so it must not be a study group or something.”

“My only plans are to spend the whole day with you. Sundays are our time together, right?”

“Well, they have been all summer, but we never actually said anything concrete about it for when school started and you were gone all day last Sunday.”

“You’re right. We didn’t. I’m hoping that it still will be. Time for just us on Sunday mornings and afternoons. And then we have band rehearsal and we could do things with other people in the evening after that, if you want. Or if you don’t want to block of Sunday afternoons, we could just keep the morning for ourselves.”

“I do think we should block off time for ourselves. If I get to pick, I choose all day. I hadn’t really thought about how different this semester would be. I’m not spending more time on schoolwork, but I’m spending time working on a bunch of different classes rather than just two, so it’s a lot different. I only met maybe 40 people this summer. Since the classes were so intense, there was just a small group of people in each one. But I have a lot more people in some of my classes now.”

“And I’m meeting all new people too. I know the dorms don’t serve dinner on Sunday evenings. We could start inviting a few people over every Sunday for a pitch-in dinner. That way it wouldn’t cost us any more than a regular dinner, and we could try making some friends. I’ve loved all the time we’ve had just the two of us all summer, and I think we both really needed it. We’re in a really good place now. We’ve worked out how to negotiate and navigate our lives together, which is saying a lot for two people who were very much loners and handled everything on our own before.”

“We have come a long way, haven’t we?”

“We definitely have. And I’m really glad.”

“You turned me into a sap.”

“I refuse to accept blame for something that was your choice. The fact that you think I’m beautiful and sexy is all on you.”

Sebastian cracked up laughing. “Fair point. I’m right though.”

He nudged Sebastian a bit with his shoulder. “But you can still be a bastard to anyone else you choose to. I’m not stopping you,” he teased.

“That’s true, but I’m not unhappy anymore. I’m not out to sabotage anyone to get ahead anymore either. I haven’t been for quite a while. I’ve learned my lesson. Now, I’m all about making sure I’m the best I can be. I’ve left the rest of that nonsense behind. If someone else is better than I am because they’re naturally better at something or worked harder at it, then so be it. I can’t live my life chasing after the top spot by bringing others down. I have to be willing to accept that I either did my best or I did as much as I was willing to do to succeed, and let that be that. Otherwise, I’ll just be undermining my own future success by making everyone in my field dislike me. No one will want to collaborate with me in the future if I burn people now.”

“Very astute for 18,” Kurt smiled at him. “See, I told you.” He nudged him again. “Super smart. And increasing in wisdom. Very sexy.”

“Astute, huh?”

“A word first used by Adam when he was trying to charm me into going with him to listen to the Apples sing.”

“How’s he doing?”

“Great. He’s loving being in the play. It’s gotten great reviews. He sent them to me when I asked him to. I’m so glad for him, but I miss him. He was just this ray of sunshine in a dark point in my life.”

He kissed Kurt on the temple. “I’m glad you had someone who brought a bit of light to your life back then.”

Kurt nodded and smiled sadly. “Me too. I’d love to see him in the play somehow. He still hasn’t managed to come up with a way to record it since it’s against the rules of the theater to have recording devices in use during a performance. He’s still working on it though. So far, he’s convinced them that recording at least once scene would be good publicity. But the play is doing well on its own and no one is convinced that the cost of doing it would make a difference in sales.”

“The bottom line, unfortunately.”

“Yes. I want to perform on Broadway, but it’s kind of frustrating to think about how many shows I’d like to see that I don’t go to because the ticket prices are just so high. There are so many people who would enjoy it but will never get a chance to because of the price.”

“That’s true, but you’re not actually one of them anymore. You just feel like you are.”

“That’s true, but I haven’t quite gotten over the feeling that, as much as I would enjoy going to a show, the fact that I could buy a week’s worth of groceries for the same price makes it hard for me to just do it.”

“I get that.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time. “If we’re going to have time to look through the areas you like before it’s time to meet Isabelle, we’re going to have to get going.”

Kurt closed his eyes and rolled his head in a circle stretching his neck. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay. Next weekend cane we buy whatever is good to feed ducks and do that?”

Sebastian smiled. “Sure. We can look online and find some other hidden places that are cool to visit in the park too.”

Kurt scooted to the front and got down and waited for Sebastian. He still didn’t see anyone around where they were or hear anyone. Once Sebastian was standing in front of him, he wrapped one arm around his neck and the other around his waist, putting his palm between his shoulder blades and pulling him closer. He pressed his lips gently along his jawline until he got closer to his mouth and kissed him before they headed back out of the forest into the urban jungle.

* * *

Sebastian unlocked the door and let Kurt in. After he stepped inside, he turned back to lock the door. When he turned back around he saw Kurt slipping his shorts off already holding his shirt in his hands, and his shoes were in his other hands. Sebastian didn’t think he had locked the door slowly enough for Kurt to have already managed to be undressed down to his boxer briefs, but he wasn’t complaining. He stood gazing just long enough for Kurt to turn and catch him gawking.

Kurt raised his eyebrow. “Well?”

“I’m missing something here.”

“Actually, no. You’re not missing enough,” Kurt teased. He turned back and swaggled his hips, trouncing off around the wall.

Sebastian re-engaged his brain and followed along.

“Well, it seems that you _are_ coming with me,” Kurt teased. “That’s a good start. I’m sure that I can still manage some solo play, but that was not what I had in mind for this afternoon.” He dropped his clothes into the basket and put his shoes on the shelf. “You seem to be moving in slow motion. Did you eat so much Dim Sum that you’re in a food coma? Would you like some help with your clothes, sweetie?”

“Wait, what?”

“Your clothes.” Kurt stepped closer. “You’re still wearing them.” He unfastened Sebastian’s belt. “Earlier you said you were up for me being in. Did I misunderstand? I mean that was my plan for the afternoon. But my seduction skills must need honed because stripping in the kitchen didn’t seem to work.”

“I thought you were changing to go back out. You said I could go with you.”

“You can and are going with me. To the bathroom, to our shower, where I’m going to have my way with you and hopefully you with me, and then I’m going to give you a little time to yourself in there while I get our bed ready.”

“Oh! OH! It sounds perfect. I thought you were teasing in the park. I thought you actually had plans for something like a museum or an art show or something or some place for us to explore, but you wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Mmm. Not what I had in mind,” Kurt kissed down his chest as he unbuttoned his shirt. “I was thinking more along the lines of exploring each other some more, but I can get dressed and we can go back out if you want.”

“Oh, no, no, no. I like this idea. Please continue.”

“You’re sure.” He stopped momentarily.

“Absolutely.”

Kurt went back to undressing him.

* * *

A couple of hours later, after a second quick shower, the two of them were cuddled up in the corner of the sofa with books, both in singlets and their boxer briefs.

Kurt’s mind wandered from his book and to the new song they had written together as he sat thinking about everything that had happened over the last six months, more like ten months. His dad’s cancer, the treatments, and his recovery. Getting into NYADA and now going to CCNY. Blaine’s Christmas visit, his own stupidity at Valentines’ Day, the the proposal, and engagement he backed out of, which he was really glad about. Moving into Sebastian’s place, Finn dying, and moving the rest of his belongings to New York. The change in his family dynamics and how they had improved recently. Working so hard, never having time to relax.

All of those things passed through his mind rapidly as he sat completely relaxed, snuggling with Sebastian, who he loved whole-heartedly, more than he had ever loved anyone. His mind stopped whirring at a frantic pace as it replayed him getting to know Sebastian. The corners of his mouth slowly turned up into a smile as he thought back to what he had been thinking about in the park earlier that morning, Sebastian visiting him and making sure he was doing okay.

He thought about how how close he and Sebastian had gotten, all while being so far apart. He did his best not to feel bad about how closed off he had been and how little he trusted Sebastian’s sincere offer of friendship at first, but through the trials and two steps forwards and one step back moments they had, their friendship had come out strong.

He smiled a bit more as he considered how Sebastian’s family had accepted him and how loved he felt by people he hadn’t even known for not quite three months. He and Jillian had hit it off, and Marley had become a close friend as well. Sam was back in his life. Santana had become a friend as well. There had been a few setbacks, like the fight in the alley and removing Rachel from his life, at least temporarily, but there had been so many good things. The words they had written for their new song came back to him again and he began to hum lightly.

Sebastian noticed that Kurt hand’t turned a page in his book for at least ten minutes. “Hey, babe?”

“Mmm hmm?” Kurt responded, Sebastian’s voice pulling him from his reflecting. He realized that he had been humming. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”

“You weren’t bothering me. I just noticed that you had quit reading. Is everything okay?”

He turned and pressed a gentle kiss to Sebastian’s neck, below his ear. “Everything is fine. Really so much better than fine. So, so much better.” He put his book down and wrapped his arm across Sebastian’s chest and slipped his hand up his neck and into his hair. “Do you want to work on that song we’ve been working on for a while before we leave for rehearsal? That’s what I was originally thinking about.” He gently kissed Sebastian on the lips. “I was just thinking about how much has changed in my life. A year ago, attending Fashion Week was an impossible dream, which came true as I spent the last eight days living and breathing fashion with Isabelle. And I didn’t know that I could feel like this, with you. I’ve never, ever felt secure in any of the friendships that I’ve had. Six months ago, my self-esteem had slipped so low that I stood there and agreed to marry someone just because I thought no one else could ever love me. I was certain that I was too much for anyone to ever be able to love all of me, that I would always have to keep some part of myself hidden away, that I would have to be less ‘me’. And look at me.”

“I always like looking at you.” Sebastian kissed the top of his head and slid his hand along Kurt’s bare arm. “Very sexy.”

Kurt rolled his eyes, not because Sebastian had said that he was sexy, but because he was being his snarky self while still listening. “Seriously, though. I’m sitting here with you in my underwear, wearing nail polish, and my hair’s not fixed.”

“Very sexy, like I said.”

“Bas!” Kurt said, slightly annoyed.

“Babe, I love you so much. Don’t get annoyed. I think back to where I was a year ago, and like you just said, sitting here with you like this was not even a possibility in my mind. I’m just so glad you’re happy here with me because I’m happy too, which isn’t something I expected at all. The most I had really hoped for was that I would like going to school here. I wanted to start over and do a better job than the last two chances I had been given to do that. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt how incredibly lucky I am to have been given a third chance. This time I’m certain that I’ve gotten it right. You’re here with me. And every morning I wake up next to you, I smile because it’s not just a dream.”

Kurt scooted up so that he could kiss Sebastian properly. After several minutes of kissing, Kurt pulled back and leaned back into Sebastian’s chest. “So, now that we’re both certain that we’re happy and completely loved, do you want to work on our new song?”

“Sure.”

“Elliott and Dani worked their magic on it and sent me sheet music and a guitar track last night. I saw it in my email when I checked before we sat down to read.”

“Excellent.”

“In theory, everyone else could learn their parts tonight and we could perform it tomorrow evening.”

“Let’s practice with the guitar track and see if we can be ready to sing it for everyone in a couple of hours.”

* * *

Kurt and Sebastian climbed into the car Isabelle had come in to pick them up. Once they were situated inside, and the driver had pulled off, Sebastian asked, “Did my parents put you up to this?”

“What? Picking the two of you up?”

“Yeah.”

“Nope. Not at all. Can’t a proud aunt be a groupie these days?”

Sebastian laughed. “I suppose so. I’m pretty sure that no one’s ever really been able to stop you from doing whatever you wanted to.”

“That’s true. And you won’t be the first,” she teased. “Plus, I really do like listening to you all sing. It reminds me of when I first came here myself. I found a group of people that I enjoyed being with. I’m actually still friends with a couple of them. Plus, I need something fun in my life now too. I told you that I’d want to spend time with you now that you live here, so unless you specifically ask me not to come, I will when I can manage it.”

Sebastian nodded. “We like having you come. I just didn’t want you to be doing it out of obligation.”

“Are you singing something new tonight?”

“We are.”

* * *

They had gotten up and performed a few times over the course of the hour and a half that they had been there. The crowd was enthusiastic and energetic, so they decided to go ahead with their plan to try out Kurt and Sebastian’s new song.

It started out with just Dani playing the guitar. Kurt and Sebastian sang the lead and harmony. As the song progressed, Elliott and Chandler joined in on the keyboard and guitar. Dani joined in on bass and sang backup with Santana.

_We’re in the homestretch of the hard times.  
We took a hard left, but we’re alright.  
Yeah, life sure can try to put love through it, but  
We built this right, so nothing’s ever gonna move it._

_When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter.  
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter.  
Let it rain  
‘Cause you and i remain the same.  
When there ain’t a crack in the foundation,  
Babe, I know any storm we’re facing,  
Will blow right over while we stay put.  
The house don’t fall when the bones are good._

_Call it dumb luck, but babe, you and I  
Can’t even mess it up, though we both try.  
Not it don’t always go the way we planned it,  
But the wolves came and went, and we’re still standing._

_When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter.  
Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter.  
Let it rain  
‘Cause you and i remain the same.  
When there ain’t a crack in the foundation,  
Babe, I know any storm we’re facing,  
Will blow right over while we stay put.  
The house don’t fall when the bones are good._

When they sat down, Isabelle said, “I know where you go the inspiration for part of that. Your mom says that about houses that she decides are worth flipping.”

“She does,” Sebastian agreed. “Kurt and I were talking and I told him about the phrase. After dealing with what we did a couple of weeks ago, we talked a lot and we came up with the song.”

“I liked it a lot. I recorded it and sent it to your mom and to you.”

“Thanks.”

She pulled out three iPads and put them on the table. “I brought photos like you all asked for. You can share and look at them.”

Sam wasn’t all that interested, so he and Kurt and Sebastian talked while the others looked through the photos. Isabelle took the opportunity to move and sit next to them. She quietly brought up the idea of Sam modeling and gave him the name of someone she knew personally to help him get started if he was interested.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Sebastian's "original" song is "The Bones" by Maren Morris - the version where she and Hozier sing it as a duet.


End file.
